The Nick DiPaolo Show - Amateur Hour At The DSA | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1934

Episode Date: August 11, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Iran's Ridiculous Lines, Dems Turn On Hasan, A Gator Attack, A Fitting Room Freak, DSA Nonsense and A Cali Man Cancels City! WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE on Rumble 6pm ET Mon-Thu JOIN OUR LIVE CHAT & FOLLOW MY CHANNEL https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow/live GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SEND SOMEONE A PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME! https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or http://www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo   FOLLOW ME ON SOCIALS or STREAM MY COMEDY!!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/  

Oh, cut it out. Hi, folks. Welcome to the live lineup where you get a couple of kids. Live lineup where it's free shows all day. And if you want to watch ad-free shows, you sign up for Rumble Premium. And don't forget to follow my channel and download the Rumble app.

And don't forget to watch Stacey R.P.G. Reacting to music. Are they in the chat room going, Who the fuck is this? Anyways, today I'll be talking about Iran Boy, I'll tell you, I love Trump and whatnot, but this turned out to be harder than he thought, I think. Then again, he could press a button and end it all.

But Iran's making crazy demands, in my opinion. And remember Hassan Piker, the fucking guy who's the Mao Mao, Chinese-loven left wing, the United States deserved 9-11. Well, even they had the dumb parties that have said, enough of this jerk off. But it's too late. You already let him run free. another gator attack you know girls are so hot in Florida they're gators can't help it

we have a guy spying on women in a fitting room um come on fellas will you stop with that shit you get a drone and do it the right way with them when they're cutting their grass in a bikini you fly over their house you're fucking faggots dsa nonsense i don't you know what it means but we'll get to it uh cali man uh cancels What is it? Oh, the Piedmont. That's right.

There's a city, right nestled like right outside of Oakland or right in the middle of it. It's all white in a beautiful neighborhood. Apparently, that's wrong. And we finally have good news on a show. Biden's probably got a couple months left. His fucking prostate's rotten like a butternut squash in February. Fuck him and everything he stands for. You can edit the fuck him and everything, and we can use that.

All right. I don't give a shit. You're right. What am I fucking growing tits? Absolutely. Anyways, yeah, so that's what we're chatting about today. What's gone on since I saw you? Not much.

When your host is 64 and tired of life, you don't really have a lot of shit you can come in the next morning and brag about. But let me just say something about my wife, okay? She's on the phone yesterday. People always ask me, what does your wife do all day? What does she do? When I come down in the morning,

she's already at her desk, sometimes at 8.30 in the fucking, And she's there till at least six. I'm talking sometimes on Saturday. You know why? I chain her there. She can't get the fucking. But honestly,

I don't know how people do it. Like people who you have kids and let's say two parents with full-time jobs. I don't know how you do it. Cable company, you probably just, you probably get fucked over like most people. Every cable company,

any house repair, plumber, they all will try to fuck you over. More the corporations, the cable companies and shit like that, or insurance companies, health care. They'll charge you for shit and know that you're not going to catch it. And no, you don't have time. My wife, we don't have kids, luckily. IQ is through the roof.

She goes through every line. She can turn into a lawyer and a snap of the fingers. And I can't tell you how much money she has to chase down. And last night, she's almost in tears because nobody gets back to her or something she's been chasing for a month, they'll send her an email and it'll be back to step one and she gets on the phone and they make her go through the I don't know how that's called living in the adult life and I said to her last night first of all I said don't get upset we're all going to be dead in 30 years it's not going to matter

that's what I do that's my that's my you've an idea how I live now I'm too old to enjoy it now that I have that philosophy I should be out fucking shooting heroin chasing whores Bird dog and chicks, like Nicholson said. Billy, what you doing? Should be bird dog and chicks and beaver. But I'm just saying, I don't know. Not to mention all my albums and all the paperwork. And now Spotify has a video thing, so it's not just audio.

Now you can watch my podcast. as a couple other platforms are doing it too. So now she has to chase down all my fucking albums. And again, if I had a manager to do this, they wouldn't do it because they have a lineup of people, even though you're supposed to throw them 15%, which I never did, by the way. I never did.

Everybody's paying 50%. I said, I'm giving you fucking 10 because it's blood money. And they would laugh and take it. But I'm just saying, if I was single and didn't like women, I don't know if I was just single and fucking still out there there are guys my age out there drinking and fun I'm just saying I don't know how like I said you guys probably when you get something saying you owe us you probably just sign off on it because you don't have time

but I can't so last night she's like all upset and I like I said I said honey 30 years we're all dead it doesn't which is a you know I'm kind of being ridiculous there but nobody would get back to her nobody people were supposed to come to the house you know while I'm here somebody for the crawls. And they say, yeah, I'll be there.

Three people didn't show up. They don't call. It's fucking insane. You know? And then I sit down and watch the Red Sox. And we have X-Fenity or whatever the fucking Comcast, the worst cable cop. My brother said,

my brother worked in cable for 40-something years. And he said, oh, Jesus. They are the, I'm like, how bad can they be? Oh, my God. The worst. I've been watching games on TV, Red Sox games.

Half things in a game, it'll go back to the beginning. Or fast forward to the end. Or just go, we have a problem. We lost our connection. Try again later. I can't tell you how many times that fucking happens. So I went down, I sat, you know, I did all my work. I prepared for this show as the Sox games recording.

It's my late night play. It's the only fucking thing that makes me happy. And I sit down, you know, like 10 o'clock on beautiful. And I can fast forward to a fucking sorry. Not recorded. But, but. 19 fucking, she gets on the fucking phone with, I could hear her through my wall today,

talking to the case. And I said to her, get off. I said, I don't give a fuck about the dentist bill or the hospital. I want my cable money back. Because these fuckers do this, you know. And she's on a phone with a guy from fucking India. And he's like, no, that MLB is, you have to have the MLB package so I can get the socks out of market.

I know how it works. And no, you have, you cannot record. Things on MLB that's a live... No, no, it isn't. It's not streaming. It's a live network. It's not streaming. And you can record because that's how we get the Red Sox every fucking night.

I can hear her through it. And then he puts her on pause for 11 minutes. You're playing circumcision music from India. And then he comes back, no, you are right, but you can't be... And oh my fucking... Look, she's on the phone for over an hour. For cable. And then, you know, I just...

fucking fellas. I don't know. Good fucking Lord. What does she do all day? What is she fucking? And I'm not shitting you. This year, when I'm traveling and I'm doing this show and I'm, I'm, fuck, I work hard enough at this age.

I mean, I was one driving into Manhattan in traffic at 6 o'clock to do a radio show and then do three spots at the comedy cell until midnight or one in the morning every night. And I did that for years. years and that's why I'm a fucking cranky fucking I'm aging at Mark Speed. But I'm just saying I'd be fucking lost without her. So here's to you, honey. Did I mention Stacy RPG? Oh, this fucking fucking fucking had to ruin it. As Zuck used to say, he'd watch me do a stand-up set.

He goes, you just can't let him like you, can you? I go, what do you? I learned from you. I've been hanging out. You since I was 13, you're miserable fuck. I've seen you make more waitresses cried seafood restaurants than anybody I know. I watched you, I was big. just once. Anyhow, Sox lost. I didn't get to see it.

I just went to YouTube highlights. I can be honest with you, it's almost as good. You and I used to know what highlights meant. It meant that show highlights, home run, triple, guy getting thrown out the plate, highlights. But now it's highlights. They show you every inning, whether they'll show you guy pop up the short, if that's all that happened in the second inning, which was kind of good because I don't want to just go to it and it's 30 seconds and I see how the game ended.

So they kind of keep you hanging for like eight minutes because they're gay or women are running it and don't know what highlights are. I'm giving you credit for that. That's about all I got. Stop treating baseball players like they're fucking young girls. No matter what game I put on. Well, this guy is, he threw two innings a month ago

so they can't use them tonight. You know? And they fucking, this is all, it's all bullshit. he played 140 games last year, so the coach literally wants to kind of ease up on him this year. Really? I think there was a guy named Cal Ripkin Jr. Who played 2,100-something games without missing one,

which is 20-something year, without missing one. And you want me to believe these guys can't play 162 a couple years in a row? It is, and meanwhile, they're in more shape. better shape now than those guys ever were. You ever see the guys in the 70s? He looked like they're of a softball team. It's, you know, oh, he pitched. It's the relief pitching.

Yeah, he threw an inning in a third, so they have to sit him until Tuesday. The guy's 24 years old. He's 6'4, 235 pounds. In the prime of his life is a professional athlete, and he can't throw two nights in a row. Do you guys see what you've done? They don't even realize that they're anesthetized to it. Anyways, thank you for letting, thank you for letting me use you as my emotional tampon this morning,

as the great Sam Kinnison once said about his wife yelling at. My favorite quote ever. I miss the days where Nolan Ryan, you know, those pitchers that would just, you would be hard to get him out of the game. It's so funny because they bring up, they brought somebody up the other night during a Sox game. Somebody went 14 or 15 innings. I'm not talking in 1920. I'm talking in late 1968 or early 70s. Somebody went 15 innings.

Remember Jack Morris in that fucking World Series game? Was it Twins and Braves? One of the greatest ones ever. Jack Morris went 11. And he came out. He had only given up a run or something. Anyhow. So baseball player, I don't think they're that much of pussies.

But why not buy into it? I got to give blood today. I do what they call a double red. It's like my grandmother's meat sauce. It's very thick and delicious. When I was sick with the tooth in the hospital, they couldn't even, it was so thick, they were having trouble getting it out.

And I'm going, what the fuck? I go, I'm going to die. That's how you get a stroke or a heart attack. And you know who's responsible for that? for my wife's OBGYN. OBGYN who gives me pellets of my ass, my test dog. That's what thickened you. So I went to him last week.

He goes, we got to knock you down from 2100 to like 16, 7. I go, no, you're not. I'll risk it. I like the way I look right now. Fucking how shallow are you? I don't want to work. I don't have to do actually start working out again like I used to. Anyway, so I could do that.

But pop, pop, pop. What is this thing? I don't know. Let's get on with it. I hope you guys are still watching. Do you like me to open with this type of shit? Because they say they like when I talk about my personal life. So I did that. I hope people are fast forward and go, let's get to Trump.

Some of you probably do, but blow me. Anyways, red line versus hardline is the first story. President Trump on Monday, can you hear me suck on my teeth like Pelosi? President Trump on Monday hit back and Iran's outlandish demand. to reopen the Strait of Hormuz with his own list of demands to serve as a new red line in negotiations. After Tehran signaled that the strait wouldn't reopen until America pays the damages Iran incurred during the war, Trump signaled on Monday that he would take a page from the Islamic Republic with his own receipt.

He says, and I quote, I see that representatives of the Islamic Republic of Iran are asking for compensation for the damages done to them during the last five-month military conflict that he put in parentheses started because even though it was never mentioned in any of our negotiations or meetings, he wrote. But it is an interesting idea because now I am likewise demanding compensation from Iran for all the people that have killed, they have killed, and gravely wounded with their roadside bombs and many conflicts for which they are famous

as led initially by General Soleimani, including the families of those killed on the USS Cole, and that's quite a few years ago, and thousands of others killed in combat. Additionally, compensation should be paid to the families of the hundreds of thousands of innocent protesters that Iran has killed over the last 50 years, not to mention 52,000 that were killed in the last five months.

Did you hear that? that? 52,000 people innocent because they were protesting against the regime have been killed in Iran for protesting. And yet you guys out there are voting for the DSA, which Democratic Socialists, and you think that far removed from the fucking Republican Guard of Iran, you're not.

That's where you're headed. I have instructed my representatives to put this firmly, he says into any and all future negotiations. The stance comes after Muhammad Bakar Zulkar, the head, I rolled the hour again and it's Middle Eastern, you don't do that. The head of Iran Supreme National Security Council

put forth six major demands before Tehran will open the straight again. Here are the six demands they want from the U.S. The United States to never threaten or insult Iran ever again. Not me. Lay off.

I like a commoner shit twinkle-toed cock sucker down here who just signed his own death war. I like poetry. Number two, for the fighting in Lebanon, Gaza, Yemen, and Iraq to permanently end. Yeah. Trump must have been belly laughing. Number three, he also called for the United States naval blockade to end. Yeah, that'll happen soon. Number four, for all American forces to withdraw from around Iran.

They've been asking for that forever. you know what that one doesn't bother me this is what I'd do though I'd withdraw and again I'm guessing it's oil why else I don't know why they have we have to be there but with well we have to protect

fucking Israel according to a lot of people but withdraw from there and just say you know what if you kill one more innocent person not even an American anywhere you kill a protester over there we're turning you into a park a lot which is how we should be negotiating right now number five the US would also have to

paying damages for both the current war and last year's July war. Let me get out my checkbook. Who do I make it out again? Mr. Kidfucker, Muller, Muhammad. Think of you? And a Mohammed's wife was six years old. Look it up. Look it up. Maybe seven. I forgot I have a fucking Middle Eastern expert right here. Dallas says it's six. Big difference. Tits are much bigger at seven. Number six, as well as lift all sanctions. on Iran and agree to the unconditional release of all of Tehran's frozen assets. Yeah. Anyways, that ain't going to happen, you bitch.

So that's what they're demanding. And Trump's like, well, yeah, you're going to pass back for all this other shit. And they have to know that. Do they really think, they've been dealing with Trump for how many years now? They really think he's going to go, all right. You know, they've been pretty good. They've been acting pretty good. how about we cut off your life supply of hummus?

How'd you like that? Oh, you make your own. I'm sorry. Hey, boys and girls, November 5th, they'll beat the punchline in Atlanta, and then November 6th, the next night, the River Casino in Philly, and then November 7th, Soljolz and Potsdown, Pennsylvania.

You go to Nick Dip.com to get tickets before they sell out, and I think I'm going to do good numbers, because the show's doing very well, numbers-wise. I noticed. They give you analytical. And yeah, so get your tickets. Merchandise is there at nicknip.com. If you buy something there, it supports shows like this,

like this headset I got from Radio Shack in 1977 and my underwear, which were donated from an army. I don't know where to go with that. Look at those red hats. Those are nice. I actually, since I've been in Savannah, I've caught two or three people wearing the Apollo shit. Pretty fucking cool.

My wife and a friend of hers. Also at nickdip.com for some, blah, blah, blah. We've got hoodies and underwire bras. Not the bra, just the underwire. I churn those out in the garage. Also, you want to send a personalized video to someone, so I'll say what you're thinking, and you don't have to say it?

Book that at shoutout.us. Boy, those are flying off the shelf. Get the fuck out of here with a shit. Anyways, can I just suggest another movie to you, people? I've been talking about for a thousand years. John Gotti movie that HBO did back in the early 90s with Amman Asante as John Gotti. And I can't believe they tried to remake it with fucking Travolta.

Well, I love Travolta, but come on. You might as well put fucking Barney Fife in that role. Don Nautz is John Guy. I was trying, thank you. I was trying to churn up darn nuts. Dallas did do it in the might. That was pretty good. Well, I don't know.

I don't know, Andy. Yeah. Oh, there's some comedian who does a great Barney Fife. Motherfly. But anyways, watch that. You want to see a great movie about Gadi? Frigan Amin Asante, who grew up around I remember talking to his brother.

His brother opened for him. Aminasi's brother was doing comedy in Long Island one night. And like, opened for me. And I started talking. talking to him and yeah they they knew some of the boys but you want to see a 10 minutes into it you forget you're watching you forget you're watching an actor and I mean body language and it was like scary scary good anyways I don't know I brought that up but let's move on I don't like this t-shirt doesn't do anything for the physique let's move on to so long Hassan that's

Hassan Piker, if you guys don't know who this jerker off, jerk, hello. The American left just got a taste of its own politically correct cancellation medicine as controversial podcaster and recent Democratic Party kingmaker, Hassan Piker had his speaking engagement at the University of Washington taken off the calendar for reasons that can only be related to his, shall we say, unorthodox rhetoric. Why didn't know, and if you wrote the article, why would you say because of his hateful fucking speech and his anti-American views?

So I question the article from here on in. That's how I read. Look at him. First of all, he buys jackets off the rack. Can you tell that's way too wide for this jack off unless he's a fat fuck like that? Why is it? I just asked Dallas this. I'm going to show you some clips of actual DSA members.

And I mean high up members. And they're all women, like two years. of college. You know, the most naive people on the planet who know nothing about life. They've been in college your whole life being fed fucking Marxist propaganda, which they swallowed whole instead of the dicks. They should have been swallowing back at the condo. I mean, they don't stay in a condo, do you? Back at the dormitory. Yeah, that's like a condo. Anyways, yeah, they're all like young girls who, who, I'll show you later, but this guy was just a hateful going forward, proceed, he gets cancer.

I, you know what? I'm gonna, let me, can I be honest with you? I don't like it. I don't like it. Let him fucking speak, but don't be canceling right-wingers. That's what I'm saying. It's there to protect unpopular speech. That's the First Amendment.

So let him do it. And maybe we'll have a right winger who has some balls and shoots him in the head. Where's that guy on our team? Nick, you're not calling for, yeah, I am. He's not even important. Fucking whack him if you can get through that suit. Fucking Kevlar fucking jacket he got from.

Men's Queer House. Fucking nose like I'm doing coke here. Going forward, procedures will be updated to ensure the standards we have for university hosted events like the speaker series are met. Can you imagine he's so radical and left wing, even the colleges couldn't it? In plain English, this is the guy who wrote it, what they are saying is we have. have no idea if this lunatic who dresses up like Chairman Mao, he does, by the way, is going to repeat his claims that America deserved 9-11 or that Israelis are parasites. And it's all protected speech, in my opinion.

Fair enough, even though the vast majority of conservatives and right-leaning organizations, including Turnipoint USA, defended his right of free speech like I just did. And Turning Point knows about people who get whacked for free speech. However, the same cannot be said for the Democratic politicians and liberal media who have been whitewashing Pikers as an important voice. Piker said as much this week after the cancellation complaining that, and this is his quote. If this had happened to Charlie Kirk or if this had happened to Ben Shapiro, this would be the number one news story on conservative media for a month. He's taken a page out of our book. You understand?

He's saying what conservatives say. if a white guy, you know, punched a black girl in the face on camera, you'd be, you wouldn't be talking about it on online. It would be on ABC, CBS, NBC, and all the other shit. That's basically what he's saying. And he brings up Charlie Kirk. Yeah, he was shot to death. You fucking dink.

Here's John Fetterman, since his brain healed. You notice, did you? And I've pointed to this out. I'm still waiting for the guy, people at Fox. When he had that stroke, it's so funny. Even before he had it, he was a left-wing moron. He literally had a brain fucking dysfunction, and he turned into a smart guy.

Let's that tell you about the way the left-wing mind thinks. So here's Fetman's take on the Piker situation. I just want to issue a dare. Continue to campaign with Hassan Piker right now. You're in a general election now. I dare you. I dare you. keep campaigning with someone like

a son Piker. That's a Democrat daring other Democrats. His message being the guy so far left and radical. And by the way, that's basically what the Democrat Party's doing. The DSA fucking pulled a coup on him.

And the moderates don't have any balls to stand up and speak against them. They can't rebuke. You know why they can't rebuke these guys? Because there's very little daylight between their opinions and the DSA fucking far left radical opinions. They hate the fucking country

as much as the Democratic Socialists do. They really get themselves in a bind very similar to the WNBA. You know why? Because it's all, you know what, politics. What's the fucking word I'm

looking for? Identity politics. Gender, race, all that shit. It's all it is. And you can't go against that narrative. If you're a queer DSA, remember, you better stay in line or fucking, why don't they have the person at the University of Washington who had the balls to pull the trigger and cancel that fucking guy?

I'd like to hear what he had to say or her. Never going to hear it, right? Probably a lefty. Somebody, I don't know. I don't, but that's the thing now. Like even a lefty who's high up on the food chain at a university is looking, you know, some of them are older and they're not quite as radical as these young,

I'm watching them talk. I guess later on we're going to show, right, the DSA Broad's, when I hear them talk on a talk show and trying to answer questions, it's literally like they're in high school, and a professor is grilling them at how little they know. And you're going to tell me that's getting traction in our country. I just don't believe it. Let's move on before we do that.

Let's go to this. No, no, no! Hey, wait, isn't that the guy from the, make me a sandwich? I just realized we use them for this too? I don't know why. In our FLA segment tonight, a Florida swimmer had her arm ripped off, ripped off, excuse me, by a 10-foot alligator. I'll tell you, the alligators, they're having a great summer.

They're like, you should have seen the piece of ass Frank got last week. It's all over the news. A Florida swimming had her arm ripped off by a 10-foot alligator. Can you imagine? I could bit by a little chihuahua when I was selling meat door to door. I had nylon Nike sneakers on and a bit right through my fucking sneakers. Yeah. Yes.

Pug face. And I was talking to the lady. And I go, motherfucker. And I started chasing a dog. And she goes, go ahead. Kick his ass. Apparently, I'm not the first person to get bit. Bit right through my sneaker, and I'm chasing it around the lawn.

And she was fucking laughing. And she wasn't a regular customer. She was new and became a regular customer. I feel like giving these pork chops. But I'm not going to. There are 106 bucks for four of them. No. A Florida swimmer, I had her arm ripped off by 10 alligators.

Whatever. By 10 alligators. Yeah, okay, Nick. Only her clit was left, floating in a pond. A vicious... What? You found it. fucking husband's like, I couldn't find it.

A vicious attack, she wound up surviving. Oh, she survived. Thanks to a fast-acting boater who scared the beast away. The woman was on a paddleboard in the silver in North Central Florida. Yeah, and grabbed her by the arm and pulled her underwater. How fucking scary is that right there? despite her trying to push it away with her paddle, which, you know. That was me when I touched some seaweed in the river when I was 48.

Anyways, miraculously, a guy named John Gamash was eating lunch on his boat, a 17-year-old girl out of Tallahassee. What? Cut. Upon hearing the woman's family cry for help, he sped toward the group. It's always a white guy who knows what to do. He knew what to do! Let's take a look.

Just upriver from us, a couple hundred feet, and saw an alligator head way above the water and going full speed towards the swimmers. Gamash sped his boat toward the group swimming in the water. I did pull her under for a while, and looking at the extent of her injury, it was, there was a lot of action going on underwater there. And by the time I got there, she had

surfaced and, and I think the boat itself scared, scared the alligator away. I like how they go. Gamash sped his boat towards the alligator. If I was the witness, it was like, this Italian guy banged a Ui and left him and was, left the drowning, bloody girl in him awake. It was a terrible injury. He said, bones poking out, blood everywhere. He said, it's almost like the time I slapped my wife for burning my toast.

Come on. Anyways, he said, minutes mattered. Gammash used a rope from his boat to tie off the wound. Excuse me, the same one he used to tie up the 17-year-old. While his father helped the remaining swimmers and children in the water, get onto the boat. and back to shore. First responders rushed the victim to a nearby hospital, and on Sunday her family confirmed she's been discharged

and is resting at home as they thanked Gamash for his swift actions. They called earlier, he said, and we talked for a while, and it was heartwarming to hear them explain their emotions. And I'm taking their daughter to the prom later this month. so silly Hey can I just say something Do you guys read or listen to the radio Watch news in Florida?

I mean a girl just got It was like three weeks ago And she was covered in tattoos Remember? And they said the gated diet of ink poisoning Like an hour after What are you fucking doing? You're paddling

Can I? Hey anybody watch your show living in Florida Don't go in the fucking Even when you go to your buddy's house In fucking Coral Gables You want to go in the pool check first. I heard they get in there too.

What are you doing on a paddle board? Oh, here's a swamp in Florida. Or a river. I don't give a shit. Come on. Wake up over there. Wake up. All right.

Let's move on to a thing I did before I get into comedy. The fitting room freak. A California woman has been launched, has been launched over the green monster, like a 440-foot blast. A California woman has launched a social media hunt for a man she says

secretly. It says secretly. Oh my God, it's secretly. I was going to say discreetly. I thought discreetly should have been used. But I'm reading as it secretly. Yesterday it was there. Oh, my God.

I'm telling you, folks, it's creepy. You know, I did great at my verbal. I'm a wordsmith, but fucking not anymore. I'm a wordsmith. Anyways, secretly or secretly, one of my French, filmed her inside a Nordstrom, dressing room before managing to slip away from the mall.

Sophia Shades said she was changing this fucking thing. Changing at the Nordstrom at Cerritos' mall in July. 21st when she noticed a camera concealed inside a black shirt on the floor of her neighboring dressing room. I've been in fitting rooms and I can see girls' feet next to me and I always like go like this. I'm banging on it like I'm and they go, what the fuck? And they come on in and go, can I help? True story. Shut up. Look at this asshole. This isn't a re we have footage, right? If him actually, hold on. The moment she realized she was allegedly being recorded, shades pounded on the man's dressing room door

and confront first of all I love that she did that someone would have just went ah and fucking ran out of there and asked the manager who would have done nothing ran out and banged on the fucking door and confront look at this piece it can imagine it's a middle of the afternoon this is what this guy's doing here's the video of he's real smooth and trying to hide this camera watch

I need help identifying this man on July 21st I was secretly recorded in a woman's dressing room in Nordstrom at the Cerritos. It is a video I got of him constantly moving, a black iPhone that was wrapped in a black shirt to try and conceal what he was doing. Look at, look at this. What a fucking scumbag.

I then threw my clothes back on and started banging on the dressing room door telling him to come out and that I knew he was recording me. Here's a video of him trying to cover his face and deny that he was doing any wrong. Pause, this is where you made the mistake, though. If you wanted this to go viral and get a ton of attention, and you should have stayed naked when you confronted him. This thing would have went through the roof. The FBI would have been at your house helping you.

The fucking Trump might have been banging on the back. Go ahead. I'm not recording me. You're fucking recording me. I'm not. Holy shit, he's recording me. You don't sound that upset. Are you sure this isn't fake, too?

He's recording me. Anyways, he denied he recorded her. Really? He didn't admit to it? Even as Shades claimed she had caught his actions on camera. And she did, and she has the right to be fucking angry. My vagina's angry. It sure is.

It is. It's pissed off. It needs love. My vagina is... Yeah, shut it. I told the Nordstrom attendants that I wanted to press charges, and they said they'd give me a coupon for $11. I told them to go fuck their mothers. Then they gave me one for $14.

End of story. Excuse me. Police were called, and according to Shades, the man was trailed as he left the store while they waited for offices to arrive. Yeah, that's hiding it good. He's not even upset. He's not wrong.

It's just, wow, what a country filled with creepola. Would the man still not publicly identify? Are you shitting me? I could sketch him with my eyes closed. Shades took matters online posting footage of the dressing room encounter and asking social media users to help unmask the peeping tom. her online

plea seems to have sparked a promising lead so apparently they got the guy's name and he's being questions take him out take him out quietly put him away I'll give you another great movie from this I want to say 70s maybe

80s Michael Douglas by the way and it's called oh no I forget I got it Star Chamber Star Chamber it's about retired judges in like San Francisco who are some left wing city

who are sick of rapists and killers getting off on technicalities and shit so they meet like once a month and they you know they find information on these and hunt them down and kill them. That would be a great remake in present day.

It's way overdue. I hope it's Star Chamber. I hope I didn't make that up. I know it's got the word Chamber in it. I believe it. Even Star Chamber. I'm about 99% positive. Sounds like something as stripper names her vagina.

Yes, Star Chamber. Oh. Star Chamber. I have an infection of my Star Chamber. The only thing you got wrong was the D in front of it. It's the, don't get picky. What the fuck? The fuck of you. L. Star Chamber.

For you Spanish people. DSA members making it look like amateur hour. That's the head. I couldn't wait to get this. These are the DSA people who supposedly are helping get these DSA candidates elected. Right now, all the winning they're doing is, you understand, it's a primary. They go against other Democrats and shit. Then they have to go against a Republican. You know, the same people. Anyways, Democratic Socialists of America, national political committee member, Francis Gill, another piece of

ass from the left. Oh my God. Fucking looks like the keyboard player for men without hats. Declient to say Sunday which agency would find in jail a rapist if police and prisons were abolished dodging the question

during a televised interview. Again, how old is she? Is she out of college? Is she 28? Whatever. These are the heads of the movement that was supposed to be shit in our pants about? Honestly, it's all fixed, folks. And if they do win in shit, it's all

fixed. I'm sorry to be that cynical. But let's listen to this titless wonder trying to defend her impossible position. But it says defund police on the website. That's your goal. And also to get rid of prisons and jails, correct? Yes. So if my daughter is assaulted and raped, is there any agency that would seek to find her assailant and bring him to justice? Of course, yeah, of course. What would it be if not police and where would he be if not a jail? So I guess I really want to avoid getting kind of caught into these hypotheticals and talk more about the reality that we're actually facing right now.

You can't handle the truth. Did you hear what she just said? they're only hypotheticals because they haven't happened yet. They're guaranteed to happen under you. That's why he's asking. I don't want to get into hypotheticals. Every political question before a campaign is how hypothetical until your policies, is it not?

How fucking hilarious is that? She thinks that's going to work. And you know what? In this stupid country, and again, when I say stupid country, I'm not talking about the boat is, I'm talking about whoever's letting Soros get away with this shit and all the other fucking idiots. Can you imagine? I don't want to get to hypotheticals.

Your daughter just bought a house and right next to her is a guy, a serial rapist who was let out on a technicality. If he raped a daughter, well, I don't want to get into hypothetical. Gill, that's her, made the remarks in an interview with NBC4 L.A. Anchorman. Conan Nolan. who pressed her on the group's platform after she affirmed, it calls to defund the police and eliminate jails. That reality, she argued, is that the city is spending large sums on police

instead of addressing what she described as the roots of crime. This is what, remember Kamala? When we're talking about immigration, we want to get to the root of why people are immigrating here. It's always something that would be a 20-year study that you would never, get the answer to. So don't fall for that. We want to get to the root of it. It's so complicated.

You know, something's out black and white, you ugly bitch. Nick, come on, take it easy. Fuck off. What she described as the roots of crime. She pointed to a lack of streetlights. That's the problem. You know, pepper spray is in big demand. We don't have enough.

Maybe nice looking girl should cut off their tits. Substance, abuse, treatment, and mental health care. Now, here comes another one. This one's even better. The one I'm going to show you now is actually a code chair, whatever the fuck that means. There's two chairs. She's got one of them.

David Remick of the New Yorker, for you guys who are ignorant about the New Yorker, it's a left-wing magazine that's two left for people who read the New York Times sometimes. He's the editor. Very smart guy. You'd see him on Bill Maher. You actually see him on Fox sometimes. I mean, he's the editor of the New York Times and this magazine, I believe. he questions the co-chair of the DSA.

Megan, I love sandwiches, Romer, that's her nickname, about taxing the rich. She says, we're going to tax the hell out of the rich. And he goes, well, I want to know what that means. And watch her fucking tremendous. First of all, once again, overweight, unfuckable, red rim glasses that say I'm offended by anything that anybody does. And eyebrows like Brezhnev.

Action. I do believe in taxing the hell out of millionaires. Yeah, absolutely. Fried boys, too. Well, what is taxing the hell out of them mean? Yeah, you know, again, I don't have like a solid, but I think. But shouldn't you? I mean, if you're the co-chair of the DSA,

shouldn't you be more specific than just taxing the hell out of something? What exactly do you mean? So, again, it's democracy, right? And we have to look at what we need to spend. and what we need. We don't want to depend on the existence of millionaires because that means people are still getting exploited. You stupid fucking blabble mouth cut!

That's what we're afraid of, folks. She's a coat chair. I mean she's a coat on the back of a chair. She's a coat chair. That's what we're afraid of. First of all, it's got way more traction than it ever should have. That's why I believed it's fixed. I watched clips like that of people who are running.

this organization. And then I live in the real world, and I weigh how people think and talk, and I don't see how that's even getting traction other than left-wing media, both TV, internet, pushing this shit. And there are generations of kids who've been brainwashed, obviously.

That's still not enough, because the country is still made up of hardworking, mostly working class people, middle class still. It's shrinking that pay their taxes. And these people have never even, I don't even think these people have ever got a check when they go, holy shit, fight it took how much? They don't even know that. And they go, we're going to tax the hell out of the rent.

Well, how are you doing it? I don't know. Sounds good, don't it? That'll get you elected, maybe. I just can't believe this is what we're worried about. Part of me, you know, I just don't see this ever. Trump said it. It'll never be a socialist or communist.

I believe it. Because if you ever try to defund the police, in a week you're going to have fucking rapes and murders. It'll be like Detroit. Not Detroit. I'm in Atlanta. East St. Louis. Pick a black city.

Anyways. All right, let's move on. Everybody knows you never go full retire. Yeah. In our West Coast stupid segment, tonight. A bitter battle has erupted over one of California's wealthiest enclaves with activists from neighboring Oakland calling for the predominantly white city of Piedmont to be canceled. They're calling for white cities to be canceled.

Oakland resident Jesse Rosemore sounds like a brother, but no, it's a retarded lefty. See how his nose is all smear it all over his face because he's a fucking moron. And he probably went up to people that think like you and I and try to fucking get in our face with a blowhunt and somebody cracked them. He looks like a West Coast retard. When I say West Coast stupid, that's what I'm talking about. A fucking moron.

A, uh, what was Sean Penn in that movie? What was that fucking character play? Uh, anyways. Um, Mr. Hand. Uh, Rosemore is the, uh, uh, what the guy? He had a laugh, Italian last name. Anyways, Rosemore is behind the provocative cancel Piedmont campaign,

targeting 1.7 square mile city of roughly 11,000 people that is surrounded by Oakland, which is arguably the worst as far as shitholes, but maintains its own schools, police, parks, and tax base. I don't even know how that's allowed, but I guess it is. Rosemore 44, that jerk off, probably escaped. border, the professional transit planner, now regards, he's the professional transit planner, now regards the campaign as a way to tackle the sharp racial and economic divide between Piedmont and the rest of the city. You get this, folks? It's a city within a city, it's basically

a couple neighborhoods of really, white people doing really good, working hard paying the taxes, and succeeding under the capitalist system. But he doesn't like that. It is ridiculous that a place like even exists, he said. How brainwashed and how do you get to that point other than years of schooling? Rosemont told the outlet, I felt like someone needed to bring even more attention to it because what's going on there says a lot about our society as a whole. And in his mind, did you just hear that ignorant statement? In his mind, when somebody at white neighborhood is doing well and shit, it's taking somehow

taking money and shit away from poor black neighborhoods like Oakland. There's people in Oakland who hate Oakland. There's black people in Oakland that go to city, town meeting city, whatever, council, and they go their fucking irate. What a shithole is turned into. This nitwit, white kid thinks that politics and money is a zero-sum game. In other words, if white people are making money and doing well or white, they must be taken out of the pockets.

And that's not how it works. You fucking fool. And you'd know that, but you went to school, probably Berkeley or University of San Francisco, and you swallowed all their shit hole where there's an oppressor and a pressie. And you bought it. You fucking moron you. The median price of homes in Piedmont is almost $2.6 million, which is more than three and a half times out of Oakland's. Why is that?

Why is that, I wonder? Can we break it down racially and break it down as far as who goes to work and who pays taxes and who's sucking off the government tit? Let's compare who's watching to find out who the baby daddy is with Jerry Springer at 2 in the afternoon. Census data cited by the outlet shows Piedmont's roughly 70% white. How dare they? And around 1% black while about one in five Oaken residents is black. It's the same old story. We've been doing this since I've been.

alive, way before I've been alive. Rosemore and other cancel Piedmont supporters argue the city's efforts to confront its history. Here we go. History. Let's look back, even though we're progressives of racial exclusion. He's talking,

they're talking like it's 1958. What they're saying is, though, and I used to hear this sometimes in New York with some black calm, yeah, but slavery put us behind the eight ball. Well, when do you fucking exactly? First of all, you know, if the only ones were enslaved, by the way. You know, the Irish

overcame it. The Chinese weren't popular when they got here either. When did you overcome it? What's the shelf life on that fucking excuse? I'd say it all ends. Right around when Cosby became famous and fucking, even before that, I don't know, pick a piano

player. The black, Ray, I was going to say Ray Morris. Who the fuck's Ray Morris? Ray Charles. Pick anybody. More black people are doing well in this country than ever before. And then any other country too, exactly. So shut the fuck up.

You're so simple. History of racial exclusion have not done enough to address the economic barriers that continue to make living there inaccessible to many people. That barrier, you know what that barrier is? Working hard from first grade, going to college, pay attention to having two parents. We've already solved this. Fuck off. Those efforts have included hiring a consultant.

for them to address implicit bias. Implicit. That's when you don't even know you have it. You're white and your bias by being white. And organizing community discussions focused on racial equity. Listen to all this shit. Shoot a load of my back and fucking call it a birthday party. Oh, my goodness. Two gay guys are bored sitting around an apartment.

You guys are probably laughing. He told this last week. Didn't you remember. Two gay guys sitting our apartment in. They go, well, one goes, I'm bored. The honor goes, yeah, let's play hide and seek. And the guy goes, okay, but let's make it interesting. Let's play for some.

He goes, okay, if you find me, I'll let you blow me. And he goes, but what if I can't find? He goes, I'll be behind the couch. However, certain officials and residents from Piedmont have objected to the criticism, I would hope so, and think that the committee is being unfairly targeted, which it is. Even Dave Shipp, Oakland has been a sewer since I was a kid. even like the Oakland A's in the 70s won three world championships in a row, you know, but on a Wednesday night they couldn't even draw 5,000 people or whatever.

You know, it was like Baltimore. The Orioles were always good in the 70s. Nobody would be at the game because it was right in the middle of a shithole. Oakland is almost the worst of the worst. And I hate to say that because I love the old Oakland Raiders and I love what they stood for, which is basically real Oakland, vicious. half of them had records. But here's Dave Chappelle kind of putting it

I thought this is kind of very runs parallel with the story who just did this joke. This place is insane. Insane. But you know what I like about Sam Fran? And the reason I picked this city to do my special was because of all the major cities in America, somehow people get along here

better than anywhere else I've seen in the country. He's setting him up. That's right. And I always admire San Fran for that. And Today, I realized how you did it. Put all the nigs on the other side of that bridge. There's nothing, this shit ain't happy on that side. You leave San Francisco, like, bye, thanks for coming to San Francisco.

Come back in April, we're having a sale on Birkenstocks. As soon as you get to the other side. Well, in Oakland, bitch. And I got a good feel for Oakland and San Francisco. Like I said, I was in a comedy competition in the early 90s, and I was out there for six weeks. I stayed in Oakland a nice part, the two streets at a night. Maybe it was Piedmont. I don't know.

My friend, I went to high school, I had an apartment with his girlfriend, so I stayed there, and I would commute over the bridge every night to do comedy in San Francisco in the surrounding areas. So I got a good feel, you know. I used to, and I jogged around this beautiful man-made

like pond in Oakland. You know, I mean, again, there's like three feet of ice. Even then, during the day, I'm looking over my But anyways, it's just how many times you have to make the point? They don't realize they're living in the greatest kind. Do you read your history or whatever the fuck? And by the way, if a white guy like me did that exact joke and I said,

yeah, but the niggas on the side of bridge, dead silence in San Francisco. Dead silence, even though the logic and what makes it funny is exactly the same. And it's actually more ballsy coming out of me and more courageous. so I don't want to hear about how courageous these black comics are. He's brilliant. He's fucking brilliant

because he calls it both ways most of the time. But if you get to the court, Chappelle doesn't like white people because he was probably raised out of it. Even though he's raised it better home than I was. Both his parents are like college professors and shit and one of them are jazz musician.

Anyway, that's it. I thought that was a hell of a show. I don't know. Cameo.com. Do we still do that? If you want me to roast a friend or a relative, go to camio.com. That's it, folks. You guys think that I will say it. You're very welcome. I can't believe tomorrow's Wednesday already.

We'll be dead soon. We'll see you tomorrow at the same time. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody.