The Nick DiPaolo Show - And the OSCAR goes to... ADAM! | Nick Di Paolo Show #579

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad. Greek Commentator Fired for "Slant" on Story. Ed Buck Out of Luck.

Hi, boys and girls. Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on The Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to the show.

Final day of the week of Thursday. Great state of Georgia. How are you, folks? Good to be with you. What do I want to talk about at the top? Oh, my Red Sox, man. If they don't win the World Series, I'll be very surprised. Get rid of the Astros.

And we should be able to beat them. They're not cheating this year. Actually, we beat them when they were cheating. No, we didn't. Anyways, I'm excited because they brought up this kid, Jaron Duran. I know this is you guys aren't Sox fans. You don't give a fuck. But anyways, white kid, about 6'1", about, I don't know, 190 maybe.

Runs like a black fella, only faster. And he can hit. Lefty, and sure enough last night, hits one, gets past the center fielder, and rolls into that V at Fenway Park that's two miles from home plate. And he turned on

the fucking burners and scored! They ruled it a triple with an error because the guy picking the ball up on the warning track Dropped it once But anyways That's all I wanted to say Kid makes me excited

That's how old I am Not even looking at girls Going that kid is handsome and he can run Maybe I'll take him out someday Don't you know guys my age don't you watch sports and go, motherfucker, in the prime of their lives. What's it like to be, you know, Devers, 24 years old, and he's leading the MLB and RBIs,

and he's already known as one of the best hitters in baseball. Twenty-fucking-four. My goodness, he'll never pay for a drink again. Let's get right to it since I got a lot today to get off my dirty chest. Let's start with, hey, asshole, you're not welcome here. My father's on Twitter, Jewish deplorable, at Trump Jew too, tweeted. That's why you're going to love this country. Biden's motorcade is met with jeers and middle fingers as his visit to Allentown, Pennsylvania,

his home state, by the way. Well, I mean, Delaware now, but he apparently grew up in Scranton. But again, just more evidence. Nobody voted for this fuck. I mean, I mean, nobody. You guys, the shit that we don't get it excited about, you know, like Obama spying on Trump when he's coming

into office on an election being, it just comes and it goes like it's nothing. And if it ever happened in the reverse where the Republicans were on the cheating end, we'd still be talking, there'd be people going, it's just, what the fuck? But anyways, jerk off Joe, heads to Allentown. Because I'm being booed in Allentown. And here's the welcoming. First of all, you see a ton of Trump flags. I like it how you see young girls, they're like 14, giving them the finger. What a country.

Roll tape. Fuck you, Joe. They're yelling fuck you to the president. All right, get up. Yeah. And, you know, he's in the back seat of one of those cars. By the way, there's 19 cars, and he's not always in the beast. You know, they mix it up, which is fucking hilarious, and what they should do if you're the president, they should put you in like

a Prius that's like four cars behind the motorcade, nobody's ever going to take a shot at that, anyways, Joe's in there looking out the window going, look at, look at all the people waving to me, just a dope in his adult underwear. Anyways, nobody likes him. Nobody likes him. That's Allentown. So I'm still looking for evidence that he won. Christ. We got a story coming up later on. This woman, Rachel Hamm, kind of good looking, run of a secretary state of California. And she's convinced it was stolen. And Steve Bannon had her on.

So she must be somebody. I got to meet Steve Bannon. Just my fucking hero. Let's stay on Joe, since his wife can't because he tremors. As Meatloaf once said, two out of three ain't bad president I want you I want I need you but there ain't no way I'm ever gonna love president Biden had a Rick Perry moment you can tell this is written in New York paper because they have to they can't just you know you have to bring a Republican he had a Rick Perry moment while making remarks at a Pennsylvania truck factory Wednesday where he was taking a 40-minute dump. He just pulled over and

claiming he had sought the presidency for three reasons. The minute I heard he said three reasons, I was like, oh, no. Oh, that's two reasons too many for a guy that has onset Alzheimer's. You've got to keep it to one, Joe. You've got to keep it to one. Apparently he remembered two of them. But here he is stating the three reasons that he originally ran or whatever. Go ahead. So I was running for three reasons. One, to restore the soul of this country, a sense of decency and honor.

Pause. That one kills me. To restore decency and honor. And how do you do that? By stealing the election, dividing the country worse than it's ever been divided, and then, you know, escorting this COVID thing, divide us further, telling families and friends and relatives to spy on each other, looking for white supremacists

in your family. Boy, does he know how to, huh? Restore the soul to this country. Bigger government than ever. He's fucking hiring more people. Again, not exactly what the country was founded on. Do words mean anything to Democrats? this country they think bigger government than ever he's fucking hiring more people again not exactly what the country was founded on do words mean anything to democrats this guy's been lying

so fucking long and there's he's been in the since the 70s we have a ton of evidence of it just he thinks now he can just say anything and the live people they are watching live will probably be nodding their heads but i'm at home belly lapping. To restore the soul of the country, you lying fucking decrepit prick. You crooked fucking father of a crack smoking painter. Business in China and Ukraine. Putting your son on a boot, selling your name to have access to Chinese people. You know, the soul of this country.

You filthy, rotten mick. I don't even know what the fuck he is. Anyways, let the jerk talk some more. But secondly, to rebuild the backbone of the country. Fix that cuff on your hand, man. Hard working, middle class folks. He's rolling up his sleeves, you get it? Who built this country and I want to point out unions built the middle class was that is that number three Joe Joe he went on and I was waiting for number three. I got nine reasons why I came to Allentown.

Biden never revealed the third reason he ran for president. Instead, going on to fucking, you know, blow and pander to his audience by claiming that without the support of the united auto workers union i never would have won uh his initial election to the senate back in this so that's who we blame the fucking auto union you pricks uh election to the u.s senate from delaware in 1972 you're a. You'll always be a loser. So before you get upset, he says, remember you're to blame why I got here. Okay. I'm glad you pointed that out. We should be doxing everybody that's in that. The president's mental lapse recalled the moment Perry, remember Rick Perry, the governor of Texas said during a 2011 Republican primary debate that if he was elected president, he would eliminate three federal agencies.

And boy, was this a, oh, this is hard to watch no matter how many times you watch it. And I always said this about Perry. This is what my instincts are great. He always came across as he's a handsome guy, as like a dizzy blonde, if he was a woman, you know. He had the look and everything, but not the sharpest pencil. But here he is trying to remember. This is way worse. At least Biden knew to work the audience like a comedian when you can't remember what your next joke is.

You go, hey, nice tie, fat buck. That's basically what Biden did. But watch Perry. This is how you don't handle that situation. It's three agencies of government when I get there. Look how cocky he is. Commerce, education, and the

what's the third one there? Let's see. Look at Paul. EPA. EPA. There you go. Pause. Pause. Whoever said EPA, that's a fucking great line. Because he's an energy guy, and he's a EPA, that's a fucking great line. Because he's an energy guy, and he's a Republican, and they have the reputation, right,

for not giving a shit about the environment. You know, drill anywhere, get oil, fucking pollute. And so some, one of the, I don't know who one of the other guys was that said EPA, which was a great fucking line, by the way. Go ahead. Seriously? Is EPA the one you were talking about?

Now, pause. This dick, I think he's an ABC guy or NPR, whatever. True fucking lip. He's still on TV. See him pounce? He won't let this go. He could let it go, but what? He pounces.

First, he goes, seriously, EPA? Which he knows he wasn't serious. But he's going to stay on this to make... This is why, you know, the fucking media are just so pro-Democrat. Go ahead. You can't name the third one? See? The third agency of government, I would do away with

the education, the commerce, and let's see. I can't. The third one, I can't. Commerce. And let's see. I can't. The third one I can't. Sorry. Oops. Oops.

Oops. That just put an exclamation point on it. Oops. I don't think you want to be a grown man running for president and say, oops. I hit the wrong button and I what? I destroyed the fucking Russia and who else? Oops. Anywho, it happens, folks, you know.

In the same speech Wednesday, Biden had what he called a Freudian slip when he uttered President Trump while meaning to mention his former boss, Barack Obama. This poor bastard. I can't believe he's still president. Watch him have a Freudian slip here. Let me close with this. Back in 2009, during the so-called Great Recession, the president asked me to be in charge of managing that piece then president trump excuse me freudian slip that was the last president he calls anyway that was president obama when i was vice president who's your fucking boss huh who's your fucking boss uh-oh retard alert oh god Biden, get back to the basement. You're fired.

You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. Oh, my God. You remember the last, Woodrow Wilson told me, or was it his wife, Eleanor Roosevelt? Anyhow, SNL, you should be having a field. I know you're off right now, but wait a minute. That's coming around again,

isn't it? They come back in like September? Unfucking real. He's going to have to resign, seriously, and there's a lot of people saying that. And the sad part is, he's way sharper than his vice president. Kamala Harris is

a bigger empty pantsuit than we realized. That broad must have sucked her way to the top. She's got nothing upstairs. Yesterday, she's got a mask on and she's going, get vaccinated. Nobody wants to wear masks anymore. She's number one. She's vaccinated and she's still wearing a mask.

Oh, my God. Our Father who art in heaven. Hell only be I naming something about Hunter Biden. Anyways, let's get on with it. Hey, folks, we are brought to you today by Sheath Underwear. And let me tell you something. Look at this. I did not know that we were doing a live read for Sheath. I wear this all the time when I'm not in those fake ties and shit.

I love this shit. I'm not kidding you. They sent me free underwear. It's military guy design. It is the softest. I want t-shirts made of this. This is my favorite t-shirt ever. Had no idea we were pushing them today.

Just happened to wear it to work. Guys, I couldn't be more happy to have these guys supporting the show. They've always supported free speech and what I do here in hell. They're in the support business and there's nobody better. Sheath underwear is the best.

I have a two-pouch compartment. It says I has. What it means is it has a two-pouch compartment that lifts and separates your junk. What do you mean? I could show you. I got them on right now, and they're like military colors. This is a pouch. You put your penis in the front one and your balls in the back. Now, unfortunately, I can fit it all in one pouch, but they are so soft, it feels like you're wearing nothing. It's made of supportive soft material.

It looks nice, and I wear it myself. It's awesome. The idea for sheath came from U.S. Army soldier Robert Patton. How is something that a military guy named Patton going to be bad? He came up with the idea during his second tour in Iraq. Guys, if this worked for Robert in the sun-blasted desert of Iraq, you know it'll work wherever you live. Support this awesome veteran-owned company.

Please, go to sheathunderwear.com and use promo code NICKDIP to get 20% off your first order. Every order comes with Sheath Underwear's 100% money-back guarantee. That's sheathunderwear.com, promo code NickDip. Get Sheath Underwear and let them support your balls. Or as they say in Brooklyn, your balls. It really is good stuff. I got to get more t-shirts. Sheet, if you're watching, send this away, please. Anyhow, speaking of lifting and separating,

there were a couple of bitches crying yesterday during the big Nancy Pelosi, you know, hearing on January 6th. You know, the partisan theater that they're doing, still comparing January 6th, what happened to the Civil War. I can't fucking believe that they have the gall to say that. Anyways, two girls were very upset while they were talking yesterday. Two girls sobbing at Pelosi's hearing yesterday. The first one, Adam Kinzinger, I don't know what happened to

this guy. He came on the scene three, four years ago, sounded like a Republican. And then I blinked my eyes and it's on C-SPAN these guys should be up for Emmys fucking whatever Tony's here is a Adam Kinzinger a real traitor pretending that he was so disturbed by what happened on January 6 let's take a look at this performance. I think it's important to tell you right now, though. You guys may, like, individually feel a little broken. You guys all talk about the effects you have to deal with.

Pause. Really? He's talking to the Capitol Police, I'm guessing. The effects you have to deal with? An innocent white woman was shot. A Trump fan. What happened to you guys that was so traumatic? Maybe some of the Antifa people you call didn't show up and it didn't go as smoothly as planned? What?

You got post-traumatic stress disorder? From fucking husbands and wives storming the Capitol. I think they broke a window, knocked over some whiteout. Oh, my God. Where's the Xanax? Go ahead. Let him talk. You know, you talk about the impact of that day.

But you guys won. You guys held. You know, democracies are not defined. Quiet. Quiet like a bitch. Quiet. Quiet like a bitch. Quiet.

Quiet like a bitch. But you guys held? You grabbed that guy with a Viking hat and his girlfriend and you slapped him around. How about that couple in their late 70s from Oklahoma? Jesus Christ, you stopped them in their tracks. Spare me your fucking horse shit.

I think the Republicans that I read are trying to get him out of there. Spare me your fucking horse shit. I think the Republicans that I read are trying to get him out of there. Him and fucking Liz Cheney. I can't figure her out either. You see what happens when you stay in D.C.? I was explaining to my wife, it's the same thing that happens when you go to Hollywood to make it. If you stay there long enough, that liberal horse shit will seep into your fucking bloodstream without you even knowing it. You're surrounded by it. Just like D.C.

D.C. is self-contained. It's like a boot camp for liberals. And they have no fucking idea. They have nothing in common with the rest of the country. Just coastal elites in California and New York and fucking now Minneapolis, Portland, whatever. Anyways, it's such an insult to people who lost family members on 9-11 and any other war. Are we that soft as a nation? The fucking Chinese must have tiny little hard-ons watching this.

fucking Chinese must have tiny little hard-ons watching this. Now, here's somebody who we haven't heard from. He's been hiding under his slimy rock forever, the fucking bulgy-eyed dickhead. I guess Adams are all crybabies yesterday. Here comes Adam Schiff, a favorite. Let's see what kind of performance. We'll have to take a vote who did better. Go ahead, bitch.

Driven by bigotry and hate that we attack our fellow citizens as traitors. No, we don't. Pause. Pause. He's accusing us people, attacking our fellow citizens as traitors. Is that a little ironic from a guy who accused Trump when he was president of being, of treason, of working for Putin. Do these fuckers have any memory? Maybe what Biden has is contagious. Calling us traitors when this motherfucker was trying to sell out Trump saying he was a Russian agent. And he was wrong. And so was CNN, NBC, ABC. They work hand in hand. That's why I mention them. Now, let's see this part of the performance where he really, he goes into what they call sense memory something.

I took acting class. Now, right now, he's going to be thinking about a puppy he had as a kid that was run over by a pickup truck. If they're born in another country where they don't look like us. And God help us. Cry like a bitch. Cry like a bitch. Cry like a bitch. God help Cry like a bitch. Quiet. Cry like a bitch. God help us like you believe in God.

You hear what he said right at the beginning? In a country where we hate people who don't look like us. Do you see? He has no idea. I live in a fucking town where people 60% don't look like me. I've never been in a better town. And most people will tell you that, whether it's my comedy club audiences and shit,

me and my wife went on that Savannah boat on the 4th of July, black and white people dancing together, eating together, drinking together. You fucking evil bug-eyed jerk-off. If there's a real revolution from the right, he's the first one to hang. Anybody with me? Maybe him or Don Lemon. We'll do it together.

One dirty fag. Adam Chip. Tremendous. And the Academy Award goes to Adam Kinzinger. Why? I don't know. Speaking of Don Lemon, didn't I just mention him? Don Lemon, don't get excited about it. What did he do that was very unusual?

Don Lemon blasted a man who harassed Tucker Carlson in a viral video. If you didn't see it last week, Tucker was like in Wyoming. He has a place there. He was in like a, I don't know, it was a bait tackle shop or whatever, sporting goods store. And some big jerk off hillbilly asswipe gets in his face. And Don Lemon goes on, I guess, yesterday and defends Tucker Carlson. I got excited when I heard, not really excited. And sure enough, while he's defending him, he has to mention that he's reprehensible and I never usually agree with him and he's bullied me.

So he used it as a, you know, it was just as much a slam at Tucker as it was defending him. But let's watch another Academy Award performance by our favorite minstrel, fucking Lululemon. I never thought I would be in this position to maybe somehow have to defend Tucker Carlson, but we'll see where this goes. I think that what Tucker says much of the time

is completely reprehensible and divorced from reality. Pause. the time is completely reprehensible and divorced from reality. Pause. A CNN guy saying Tucker Carlson is divorced from reality. A guy, again, another one, every day for two years said Trump was working with Russia. Wrong. Wrong about Kavanaugh being a serial rapist. Wrong about the two impeachments i could go on and

fucking hiding fucking hunter biden shit and has the balls to say fox news and carlson and i don't care there's people out there uh they're all the same friends i got you know like comedian friends who lean a little uh oh they're all the same well you don't know what the fuck you're talking about i agree that a lot of it's show business and they sell money. But one state, to compare Fox to CNN and this fucking fruitcake is absolutely ridiculous. They are the mouthpiece for the fucking DNC. You have to know that by now.

Even liberals don't deny that anymore. Even the New York Times admitted the media's liberal. What else did he say, cheese dick? He has a right to be in a space and not be accosted and not be ambushed by anyone. I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. So he couldn't just defend Tucker, he had to go, didn't I, wasn't there a part where he says he's attacked me and shit?

Not in the time code I got. You sure? Oh, I'm sure. I didn't watch the whole thing. No, you're right. I'd probably go on to explain. The Liberal Lemon, often his surprising take uh during cnn his program uh it's called uh dawn i suck cock and i love it uh lemon tonight monday evening when he devoted an

entire segment to addressing the weekend encounter which he said put him in a position to maybe somehow have to defend tucker carlson let me tell this. I don't like it. I don't like it when people do that because I would not want it to happen to me. That's why he's really doing it. Lemon began after showing a snippet of the video going on to caution. I have mixed emotions because Tucker has done this to people before. Really? He has? Did you show a clip of that, Lemon? No? Tucker said some really nasty, silly things about me. And how I love the meat whistle. And the next day, the paparazzi in front of my house, hiding, taking pictures of me and my life partner, Winget.

Asian boy. I don't know. Lemon continued, we're all on TV. We've been approached. We hear good things. We hear bad things from people. We don't even know who they are. It's part of the gig. Don't you think this went a little too far, though? But CNN commenter, fucking this pig face, Anna Navarro, oh, God, there she is. That's the best she's ever looked. Then defended the man who accosted Carlson. She is such a, another one who pretended to be Republican a few years ago. She defends the asshole who got in Carlson's face, identified as Dan Bailey, saying she had been through similar experiences and that the Fox personality

should be understanding, giving his sometimes heated rhetoric. Deal with it, said the filthy little whore. Noting these individuals have First Amendment rights to approach them. Yeah. You are a

cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I get that stinking cunt. Thatunt, a little fat, sneaky cunt. She's cute. She's a little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, My favorite song. But she says, between bites of a fucking sandwich. But I don't think that... No, this is Don Lemon. I'm sorry. He says, I don't think that should happen to you, Anna. I don't think that should happen to CNN star Chris Cuomo. I don't think it should happen to me, Lemon replied.

Nothing, excuse me, noting similar experiences his cable news colleagues have faced in the past. He said, your First Amendment right doesn't mean invading my personal space. That's faggot stuff.

That's what he said. You want a court by its name? That's strictly for fags. So Don Lemon, you know, he pretended. I think Gutfeld's show is getting to him. I think they're finally feeling it.

People are calling these jerk-offs out for what they really are. But he couldn't just go on there and defend Tucker. He had to go, he's, you know, divorced from reality. He's bullied me. Shut it. Shut it. Please. People call me

racist things and gay and stuff. Speaking of racist things, this one made me belly laugh. This one got me right in the gut. Greek sports commentator for the Olympics, fired for putting his slant on the story.

Nick, that was pretty good. I know. A Greek sports TV commentator was canned on Tuesday after making a shocking on-air comment about the shape of a South Korean

Olympic athlete's eyes. Oh my God. Did he really? Sure. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay. I he really? Sure. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here.

Kill me. Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Like a somebody.

Don't make me laugh until I'm 100. Won't you be in like three weeks? Anyways, the remark by the guy's name is Dismotanus Cameris. In reference to table tennis player Zhang Yangzik, were deemed racist by ERT television, who subsequently cut ties with a veteran journalist. That's the guy he was making fun of, so I think you might have a point. I don't know how this guy could play table tennis or fucking eat breakfast

or, you know, put a quarter in a parking meter. Anyways, speaking of parking meters, this is what the guy said, and I quote, in 2021, their eyes are narrow, so I can't understand how they can see moving back and forth so fast. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You don't give somebody a fucking license that you can blindfold with dental floss. This guy said that. Camaras said with a laugh when he asked about the skill of South Korean table tennis players. So I don't know if you'll be seeing that guy anymore. Bye bye. He'll be serving you fucking coffee at the IHOP hopefully Camaras made the comment

after young sick defeated oh he defeated a Greek guy so it brought the Greek out at him Pangeotis Gionis god damn it I had Gionis minus 500 of Greece in men's table tennis we call it ping pong

is that fucking racist too? Ping-a-pong! No, I ain't saying no. Anyhow, later Tuesday, ERT announced the firing of Camaras, and their statement was, racist comments have no place on public television. I'm doing Get Smart. The network said, in a statement.

What you just said got you fired is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. Louis C.K. had a great bit years ago

about how we always make fun of Asian people's eyes being shaped. But they make up like three quarters of the planet. So they have normalized. We have fucked up roundups. God damn, Louis always finds the liberal horse shit in every joke. That was a good one, though, wasn't it? Yes, it was, Nick. Now move on.

Okay. Did I tell you about my sheath underwear? Got two compartments. One for my fucking Viagra, the other for my cheese doodles. As you guys know, I think the internet privacy is really important. Like it or not, the world has made it damn near impossible to get along without being online. Things like paying your bills or just staying informed require you to be connected to the Internet. And we all take a little risk every day when we go online, whether we think about it or not.

We think our connection probably won't be interrupted by hackers. Our data probably won't be used against us. But using the Internet without express VPN, that's like driving without car insurance. Why would you take that risk? Every time you connect to an unencrypted network, whether it's cafes, hotels, airports, any hacker on the same network can get access to your personal data, whether it's your passwords, financial details, etc. It doesn't take much technical knowledge to hack somebody, just some cheap hardware. Any smart 12-year-old can do it. And your data is valuable. Hackers can make up to $1,000 per person selling personal info

on the dark web. ExpressVPN acts as online insurance. It creates a secure encrypted tunnel between your device and the internet so no hackers, they can't steal your personal data. It'd take a hacker with a supercomputer over a billion years to get past ExpressVPN's encryption. pass ExpressVPN's encryption. And ExpressVPN is simple to use on all your devices. Just fire up the app and click one button. That's right, one button to get protected. Secure your online data today by visiting expressvpn.com slash nickdip. That's E-X-P-R-E-S-S-V-P-N.com slash NickDip. And you can get an extra three months free. ExpressVPN.com slash NickDip. We thank them for sponsoring the show.

It's a great product. I only use things that are really simple. And that's one of them. That and a water pick when I'm in the bathroom. Boy, do I have fun with that one. What? Bad luck for Buck. Well, who's Buck?

Uncle Buck? No, he dead. Ed Buck. Breaking news. Ed Buck. You'll know who he is. This picture just made me laugh. Again, I have a dark sense of humor. Breaking news. Ed Buck. You'll know who he is. This picture just made me laugh. Again, I have a dark sense of humor. I know.

But that guy with a fucking faggy bow tie, the rainbow bow tie, is responsible for that body leaving the apartment. How do you fall for such nonsense? And by the way, big Hillary donor back in the day. Ed Buck found guilty of meth overdose murders.

Remember, we reported on this. Ed. Eddie. Ed. Ed, I'm an asshole, Buck. A longtime fixture of West Hollywood politics. By the way, I lived in West Hollywood. And I never got hit on more.

All guys, but I'll tell you, I didn't care. Gay guy hitting on me is like a bitch. I'm just not going to follow up, you know what I mean? Oh, maybe, if I'm bored. Anyhow, yeah, guys in leather chaps would whistle at me and shit. What I was doing in the fucking men's room at a gay club is another thing.

But listen. He was a big, powerful guy, Hollywood, West Hollywood politics. He was convicted Tuesday of charges that he supplied methamphetamine that killed two men during party and play. We used to do this in high school. Party and play encounters at his apartment.

After about four hours of deliberations, After about four hours of deliberations, the jury found Buck guilty of every charge in a nine-count indictment that also accused him of maintaining a drug den, distributing methamphetamine and enticement to cross state lines to engage in prosecution. The conviction. What the fuck, T? What the fuck? I'm not Italian now. That was Christopher. The conviction could mean that Buck, 66, will spend the rest of his life in prison. Again, big friend of Hillary, and she heard the no, she's like...

What a whore. The convictions for supplying the meth that resulted in death each carry a minimum sentence sentence 20 years in prison. This guy's killed more black people than sickle cell or Snickers or Cherry Coke. The verdict concluded a two-week trial that featured harrowing testimony by black men hired by Buck. They said shit like this.

Buck, who was white, used to hire them to show off their bodies in underwear and get high on crystal meth and the party drug GHB. Why would you pick on these kids? Is it because we're black? Yes, because,x. Buck blasted in court papers as violent, dangerous, and a sexual predator. Also, that guy in that bow tie also funneled nearly $4,000 to Clinton and more than $1,500 to Obama over the years. Like, that's a surprise. West Hollywood, you know. According to the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan money tracking group, According to the Center for Responsive Politics, a nonpartisan money tracking group, other bold-faced Democrat names on the receiving end of Bucks, Bucks,

included L.A. Mayor Eric Garcetti, with that dumb look on his face, California Reps Ted Lieu, and the biggest girl on the planet, Adam Schiff, who serves as the chair of the House Intelligence Committee. They all took money from this guy, knowing he was a scumbag, I'm guessing. Give me the fucking money, you hear me? You hear me? I said come here, buck my body. Give me the fucking money. All right, Mr. Buck, take it easy.

Records show that Buck's donations abruptly stopped in 2017, the year that Jamel Moore, seen here, a 26-year-old homeless male prostitute suffered a fatal crystal meth overdose in Buck's home. That must have been easy to break that case, because black dudes usually aren't into the meth. Nick, you're painting with a broad brush. No, come on. They like crack and coke like I do. Meth's very dangerous.

I mix some in my tap. What the fuck, T? You gave me the recipe. Vince Vaughn wasn't down there. Yeah. I don't know, T. Let's face it. You got a problem with authority. What the fuck, crystal meth?

I never fuck with that shit. Google Max Koch, Tony Soprano impression. He's got 19 clips up there, and there's a guy just as good, if not better than him, some, like, blondish-older guy. Oh, my God, I was belly laughing last night. That's why I went to bed at 4 o'clock. I was doing meth with Ed Buck.

Speaking of drugs and injections and lethal drugs and... A judge. A judge. Well, the headline reads, a shot in the arm for the legal system. Um, yeah. Hear ye! Hear ye! The coat's in session! The coat's in session! Now here come the judge! Here come the judge! 19th JDC Judge Fred Crefasi is reportedly offering offenders an alternative to completing community

service hours, get vaccinated. Attorney Ashley Greenhouse, she represented me in a drunk tractor accident. Attorney Ashley Greenhouse said Judge Crefasi gave her client the opportunity to get fully vaccinated in place of finishing the last four hours of court-ordered community service. Here's Ms. Greenhouse, very nice looking lady, talking about what the judge did with her client. Inside the 19th JDC, Ashley Greenhouse's client found himself facing four hours of unfulfilled community service mandated by Judge Fred Caffasi. It shocked me, but I was like, this is pretty cool, just considering everything that's going on. A shot for a shot to clear his legal troubles. He was like, if you would show me when you come back here, we'll reset the matter. And he was like, if you would come back and show me

that you've been double vaccinated, that you're fully vaccinated, then I will give you credit for those hours. If you don't, we're going to give you the real shot in the eye while you're sitting in a chair. East Baton Rouge District Attorney Hiller Moore said his office supports the deals, saying he would like to see more judges off affectations in lieu of community service. off affectations in lieu of community service. He says, and I quote Mr. Hiller, what do you want someone doing right now? Do you want them picking up trash on the side of the road or potentially donating services for good causes?

Or do you want someone to do something for themselves and protect others? He asked. It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. I would answer I want them picking up trash by the side of the road. It's supposed to be a punishment. A vaccine sounds like a reward to me. How about that, judge? I want them when it's 110 out there with this fucking stick with a nail in it, picking up McDonald's

bags for 18 hours. Why should they get something that some people wanting can't even get? I don't get it. Have we lost our tits in this country? Defense attorney Franz Burkhardt said

the offer helps offenders complete their requirements. You're not supposed to help them. It offenders complete their requirements. You're not supposed to help them. It helps complete their requirements in a time when community service hours are difficult to come by because of COVID, blah, blah, blah. By the way, before I forget, and by the way, that picture,

I'm going to say this guy's at Suffolk University. That looks like the Tobin Bridge in Boston behind him. I know that bridge because I left the girl's apartment fucking six in the morning once and I was very young and it was pouring out and I got a flat on that bridge. Watch me be wrong. It's probably Oakland or something. I don't know. Anyways, community hours are difficult to come by. He says we're now going into a time period where we are seeing an influx of COVID positive tests, so the ability to do community service is also affected by the ability to do

that, Brogard said. What are you talking about? When you're picking up trash, you're outside. COVID is an excuse for everything now, which reminds me, as you know, I'm redoing my kitchen, trying to get either a wolf oven or a goddamn

Heston my kitchen trying to get either a wolf oven or a goddamn uh heston is another killer one or what's a viking any of those three all these fuckers are telling me uh you're looking at september october because of covid and shit so let me ask anybody out there who is in this business and you like me you like my show you like what I stand for, to cut out the middleman. Help me. If I have to drive to Ohio with a U-Haul truck, I will do it. Anybody? You guys come to my shows, a lot of yous look like plumbers and stove salesmen.

That's all I'm looking for. Especially a Heston. Those things are like the fucking new Lincoln, you know. Anyways, I just thought I'd put that out there. Oh, God. I must be old. I'm so excited about getting a new stove. I've been cooking on this piece of shit in this house we bought that was built in 1934.

I think the oven was there the first day. On an electric oven. You can't be a real chef and use electricity. It's fucking horrendous. And it's all fucking, by the way, it's gone. But, you know, it's all crooked. I pour olive oil into a pan. It all goes down at once.

I'm better than that, for Christ's sake. So yeah, if you know a Viking dealer or a fucking Wolf or Heston, let me know. Let's get back to this. I digress. Mr. Borchardt said, he said the offer meets legal muster. Talking about the vaccine instead of community service. It meets legal muster as the judge is not requiring the vaccine. Wow, that's big of them. That should be the fucking, by the way, that should be the litmus test for the federal government too. It's discretionary. It's optional

for the defendant, he said. If the defendant says, hey, I don't want to do this. I want to do community service. Well, knock yourself out, he says. If you're already gotten vaccinated, it's even better. I don't think the community loses out on this one. In fact, I think there's a strong argument the community wins, he says. It's a double talk. Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. I still say that it seems like they're getting rewarded.

I want all my ex-cons safe from COVID. Who gives a fuck? And by the way, folks, are you feeling it? Are you feeling the setup again? As we've been saying on the show for months, oh, wait till the fall comes. The masks will come back. It is beyond fucking comprehension.

And everybody seems to lose track of this statistic. If you're under 70, I've said it a million times, and healthy, which most of us are, you have a 99.96. In other words, almost zero chance of dying from this. And that's the fucking bottom line we should be looking at.

It's a flu. Get it and get over it! You know what I'm saying there? Never tell anybody outside the CDC. It tastes like bubble gum. I've got to get some more of these. Let's move on to race. We haven't touched that in about 11 nanoseconds. Headline here. Hey, BLM, where the fuck are you? Hey, BLM, where the fuck are you? Hey Dems, where the fuck are you? What does this pertain to? Two Atlanta police officers are facing disciplinary action after

a disturbing video showed one of them kicking a handcuffed woman in the face, department officials said. The footage posted to Instagram, it's funny though, right? First time you're probably hearing about it. Why? Because it wasn't a white cop and a black victim. Nobody gives a shit. And apparently Black Lives Matter, but no. The footage posted to Instagram Monday shows a woman face down outside an apartment in the city's Summer Hill section. Oh, I have a duplex there, where she was being detained as a domestic dispute was investigated, according to the Post. The unidentified woman, who was not charged, was kicked once in the face by a sergeant after appearing to spit on his boots and pants.

The sergeant's partner did not react to the blow, the video shows, so I guess she's in trouble, too. I'm getting sick of that too. It's one thing with the Floyd thing and you're watching a guy being fucking choked out or whatever. Anyways, here's the video and keep an eye on the lady face down because she's going to hawk a Louie as we used to say as a kid.

Hawk a Louie. A loogie. On the cop's pants and boots. And I'll give you my reaction right after. Let it roll. Did he hear it? You fat, nasty black bitch. These blacks.

Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. These blacks. Who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. These blacks. Spitting on their pants and they take it the wrong way. Upon reviewing the video, the actions of the sergeant appeared to be unacceptable and we are also concerned with the apparent lack of reaction from another officer present during the interview.

What was she supposed to do? Scold her partner who's twice her size and probably been on the job twice as long. What was she supposed to do? Dress him down verbally? I don't get it. She should get in the car and laugh her balls off with her sergeant.

Nick, is that the word you want to live in? Yeah. Because this bitch apparently doesn't respect the police. It's not like he kicked a 50-yard field goal with her head. It was more like a PAT. Really, Nick? Yeah. Didn't hurt her.

Show some respect for the cops. The reason you're face down in cuffs is because you were brought up in a broken home and you don't respect anybody. Anyways, that cop, the partner, is going to get in trouble. I don't know about that. The sergeant was placed on unpaid suspension while the officer was put on administrative assignment. That's not fair to her. Department officials said neither was identified.

An investigation, it's funny though, neither is identified. But if that was a white cop, you'd know what was in his stool this morning, his cholesterol level. An investigation into the incident is ongoing. Police Chief Rodney Bryant said, I'll tell you, proper course of action. Once the probe is complete, I'll tell you what I'm saying. He'll kill her.

So he'll take a proper course, and here's what's going on. The story will go away. We'll forget about it. He'll go, look, brother. I'm going to give you a fucking pass on this one. Can't be making me look bad one night. The officers responded to the scene Monday after getting a call about a woman pointing a gun at several people.

Now I feel even less bad for her. The suspect was detained and cops became concerned about her mental health, prompting paramedics to take her to a hospital maybe it was another woman for an evaluation. That's what the police said.

She was a little, you know, ubats as they say. Watch out because I'm Cocoa Pops! Cocoa Pops! Cocoa Pops! She was a little, you know, u-bots, as they say. Watch out, because I'm... I want to thank you people that make this show possible, both the people who contribute on a regular basis and people who are monthly subscribers. We can't do it without you, and that is the goddamn truth. Just a quick reminder before I give the thank yous out. I'll be in upstate New York at the Cohoes Music Hall, spelled Cohoes, in just over two

weeks on August 13th. It is where I shot my, you know what, special, Breath of Fresh Air. Get tickets at nickdip.com. Thanks so much to everyone who has contributed to the show lately. I can only do what I do because of your generous support. One-time contributions, I'd like to thank James Black of New York, Sean Powell, a buddy from Florida, Mr. Afrunty, Illinois, Joseph Mixon of Texas, Keith Simpson, Australia, Paul Sagnella, always there, Connecticut. Kelly Carlson, Washington. Ryan Akey Stem Foster, Oregon.

Joey Catalina, Texas. Steven Patak. My eyes get tired at the end of the show. Is that what that says? Yeah, Delaware. Elizabeth Eady, Texas. Devin Kramarik, Indiana. Don Faganaxi, Texas. Devin Kramarik, Indiana. Don Faganaxi, Texas.

Kenneth Myring, Florida. Robert Cortez, New Jersey. Peter Dybol of Rhode Island. James Stevens, Louisiana. Aaron Lutterman, Minnesota. And monthly supporters, new ones, Anne Berna, Dan M. of Valentine, Rebecca, Michael Vrezics of North Carolina, Tri Nugent of Massachusetts, Emily Venata, New Jersey, Tyler Moore, as in Mary, Ohio.

Thank you guys very much. All of your daily contributions, monthly. You have no idea how important it is, really. So, here's to you. So I have to say no to you, Ron. What the fuck? He says he slipped on the counter, fucking dusted for ants? Get out of here. Let's move on, shall we? As the end of the week is coming fast.

We have a new woman, a Republican out in California, which is like being a Jew living in Afghanistan, I'm guessing. Rachel Hamm. Hamm and G's. Really? That's my headline. Rachel Hamm announces run for California Secretary of State on Steve Bannon's podcast, which is used. And he doesn't have just such scrubs, I believe.

And tells us why she is running for this office. Let's take a look at this fresh face. I find her kind of cute anyways, and she might be crazy as a shithouse rat, but, you know, come on. Those are the cute ones. Silliest thing I've ever heard. All right, let's roll tape. Why is it essential for Rachel Hamm to be the Secretary of State in the great state

of California? Well, it's essential for several reasons. One, I don't think that California is as big and blue as my jacket. I think actually it's very likely that Trump won in California and that there's more fraud in California. First note, if you're running for Republican office and California in a blue state, don't wear a blue fucking jacket on Vannit. Go ahead. Roll it. All of these other places that we're focused on, like Arizona, Wisconsin, Georgia, etc. Brings out our eyes.

I think that there are a lot of irregularities. We have at least 2 million voting and registration irregularities in the state of California in the last election. We know that 1.8 million voters are on the registration rules that should not be just in California. We have tons of proof of fraud and, again, just lots of discrepancies and things that are not as they should be. I love it. That's a good thing to run on. I am here. I have things to say.

You sure do, Rachel. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. I think she has more to say, too. A couple more things about Rachel Ham.

As a candidate, should I keep going? Should I play to the second clip? Rachel Hamm. As a candidate, should I keep going? Should I play to the second clip or not yet? Yeah, second clip is before, then a couple more things. Okay, go ahead. Here is her talking some more. Well, I think an audit is the key. That's why

I put a press release out today calling for an official audit to be done in California. I drove up and down the state of California during COVID. My husband was off of work and we had the time to do it. And so we went and saw the state. And guess what I saw everywhere besides the homeless and littering because of liberal policies that have driven the state to the ground. I saw Trump signs. Trump signs even in liberal areas. Trump signs everywhere. And I'm kind of like an empath type where I kind of feel the vibe of places, if you will. And guess what I felt? I felt an intense energy and force that was going towards Trump from California. And I kept feeling like something's turned, right? There was a poll that was done several years ago, and they said that 65% of Californians consider themselves to be moderate left-leaning.

That same poll was done eight weeks ago. 68% of Californians said they consider themselves moderate right-leaning. There's been a shift in the state of California, and I want to get to the bottom of what happened in the election because I believe California is Trump country. I like the fact that she's using fraud to get the bottom of it. Although, I mean, boy, she got a hill to climb in the People's Republic of California. God help us. And you know who she's helping?

Who's helping her out? Apparently, it's not going to help her either. Michael Lindell. I'm scared of Lindell. I wouldn't let him end up suffocating me with one of his patented pillows. That's her key endorsement. And one other thing I'll just throw in there. She also claims to be a survivor of ritual satanic abuse. What the fuck? Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Harris, you fake All right, Rach, good luck to you. I really do like that. First of all, she has the balls to talk about the election being a fraud.

That really doesn't help you today, you know. Anyways, that is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Right here, a great friend of mine from San Francisco, Rachel Hamm. That's it for the week. Thank you for a great week, for tuning in.

And don't forget thecomicsgym.com. It says it right on the screen there. That is a permanent home. You can, you know, you can make a. You can be a monthly member or whatever. Contribute there. Nickdip.com, patreon.com. Do not forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com.

Click on my profile. Tell me a bit about the person. I will make a video on my phone minute minute and a half long uh ruining their day actually it usually makes their day because they're fans of mine and that's who their friends send them to many many many of my birthday gifts and stuff it's a lot of fun i'll lay there in my bed with a cigarette and just fucking shit all over your front it's so much fun. That's it. Don't forget to see me August 13th

at Cohoes Theater up by Albany somewhere. Cohoes, New York. You guys think that I will say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend, and we'll see you guys back here on Monday. Take care, everybody. guitar solo guitar solo We'll see you next time.