The Nick DiPaolo Show - Another Trans Mass Shooter | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1785

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about Another Trans Murderer, CDC Heads Getting the Axe, A “Heated” Argument, Pritzker Won’t Shut Up, Fast Trains and “Hero” Sub Guy Gets Off! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

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Oh. Wow. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! And I'll tell you another thing. Frankly, you're beginning to smell. How are you, folks? Final day of the week for us here at the show. Thursday quick note don't forget Monday it's a long weekend so no show on Monday write that down put it a post it if you like me my mind is going let's put it this way I don't

say I'm Bruce Willis is envious no I said that wrong fucking wow that there you go am I making it up I can't deliver a joke okay I'm ambious of Bruce Willis. Look it up. He's got some type of dementia, Louis Slugger. It's got Louie in it. It's like being hit over there with a Louisville slugger. Yeah.

I keep forgetting my little flashlight, so I don't have to... That way you can just relax, and I can send the bat signal out. Yeah, so my brain scrambled. I forget why I was making that point. How about this? Two days ago, I go to my life, where is my coffee in the morning? I go, what did I do with my cup of coffee? About five minutes later, she goes to the fridge for something.

It was in there. I don't know. I'm telling you, I'm minutes away from scraping my dinner plate, you know, into a draw with my socks. Oh, I do get a little nervous. I'm not fucking kidding. I get pillhead today. I took two to Advil P.m. That's like, and again, woke up to P.

Usually, I'd rather piss and shit myself. Advil P.M., you can't wake me up for anything. So I don't, like I said, I think I said it yesterday. There's something going on in there that needs a real beaten. Anyways, again, no show on Monday. Welcome to the Rumble live lineup, by the way. Today I'm going to be talking about, oh, I don't know. It's become old hat now, another trans mass shoe.

I mean, just one look at the person, you know, because I like to prejudge, even though I'm right 98% of the time, you know, we knew. Also, the head of the CDC who just got her job a month ago, get shit-kinned. This is how you know Trump is watching, like a CEO, you know? Not like the Democrat. Somebody fucks up. Ah, don't worry about it. Also, some guy in Kazakhstan, a, at the airport or the train status where he was in an argument with his wife. So, boy, did he show her. He lit himself on fire. And finally, fat boy Pritzka is talking tough to Trump about sending troops there.

It is, I'm telling you, I could run the country right now, if that was my opponents, the J.B. Pritzkis of the world, the AOCs, the Schumers. It is priceless, how easy they make it for Trump. Can you imagine it with a straight face? saying Chicago's fine. And again, we showed you that video. They go to the safest place in Chicago. I mean, how stupid.

Could you gaslight us anymore? Instead of trying to make changes, they were in reverse at 100 miles an hour. And it's so fun to watch. They have no answers. And, you know, Trump is a dumb guy who wasn't suited for the presidency. Holy moly.

He's not a smart person. Red Sox, down by one late in the game. seventh inning or eighth, I don't know. Saddam Rafael, who's been slumping a little bit, hits a fucking two-run bomb, and they win. The pitching, Dallas, I can't even tell you how good the pitch. Like I said, they said since the beginning of June, they have the best E-R, which is a long time ago.

And this guy, kid Brian Bello, oh, my God, is he coming into his own? He was untouchable last night, the night before Gialito. It is, this is, I know you guys probably tired of me hearing it, but, hey, I've been watching him since I was five. By the way, I was born in 62. I remember when they won the pennant in 1967 sitting my dad's lap

had nothing to do with baseball I was just on his lap in the bathroom well he's taking a dump I have no idea we do I have no idea why but I'm just saying they stunk the first month and a half into the season

remember and I guess they still lead the league in errors but that's because of the beginning of the season Fucking Bregman and Trevor Story, it's like hitting it against a wall over it. You're never going to get it by him. Anyways, it was just in, what did Roman Anthony? The other night he let off of the homer, and I don't know if you had to hit it too last. Anyways, I'm just very excited about this team.

They're very fun to watch. We're doing this all without William Abreu, who's a gold glove in right field, and he's got 20 homers, 19 homers. He's been out for about three weeks. Anyways, I know you guys have heard enough about my home team. So let's talk about the St. Louis Blues hockey team. Let me tell you, have they packed up a draft? Shut it.

College football this weekend. College football this weekend. And I know a lot of you guys out there, NFL, NFL, me too. Look, I'm a football fanatic. So I've never put down there. I've been watching them as long as I've been watching the Red Sox, okay? Played youth football, played high school football, play college football. This is my ring, by the way.

It's a Yankee Conference Championship ring. We were tri-ch champions, us, Rhode Island, B.U. I can't remember the other team. Anyhow. Yeah, so college football, and you got a doozy at noontime, Texas, Ohio State. That's three versus one. By the way, Texas is ranked number one. Whatever.

Oh, my God. Even delicious. Let me tell you something, folks. And we've had this argument for years with my, you know, yeah, but the NFL, I mean, that's the top of the guys. I understand it's great. But, and I always say this, you wouldn't want to see your heroes in the NFL. Like, I'll go back away. Lawrence Taylor.

You would want to see him at 19 years old, wreaking havoc. I mean, they're literally physically at their prime at that point. They haven't started juicing yet. And they just play harder, and it's a cleaner game. Because when you're in the NFL, you jump off sides three times. They're not going to take you out of the game because you're getting 70 million for four years. And the owner's like, no, I'm fucking, you keep him right where we're. You don't get that type of shit.

They play unbelievably hard because they want to be. be in the NFL. They want to be hugged by fucking Goodell. The woke asshole. By the way, they're still going to have those silly slogans in the end zone, and hate and race. And again, that's

saying that you white people. You don't think they're telling black people to stop hate and hate. The world's upside now. That's all I'm saying. And they're stuck at a time warp. That already seems passe. So yeah, college football this weekend. And there's a time. I actually

get saturated by midnight. And even then, I'm like, who's that? North Dakota State and who? Fuck it. I'll put a nickel on it, make it interesting. All right, let's get to the big, ugly story of the day. Transgender bitch shoots up Catholic Church. But it's not a mental illness, folks. Let's remember that. It's not a mental illness. Even though Dallas had to be a list of the mass shooters so far, that are trans I thought it was maybe two or three let's see here the fucking font

look at this what is that Denver shooter was a trans Aberdeen shooter trans Nashville shooter trans Georgia shooter you can Google these

we're not making them up trans Philadelphia shooter trans Iowa shooter gender fluid Yuvalde shooter trans Colorado shooter trans Colorado shooter trans Minnesota

out a shooter. Trans Yeah. All those are trans mass shootings. But, you know, like Biden said, it's the white redneck who goes hunting on the weekends, who's the real problem. One of you guys that vote Democratic

are going to wake the fuck up or change your channel from MSNBC and CBS and I mean, change it. I saw a thing yesterday on TV. They spent don't let me forget this. Hillhead. They spent 17 minutes

on the Abraga guy that they're trying to send back the Maryland dad who beats his wife, the MS-13 guy. They spent 17 minutes on him the media did the mainstream media. And zero

minutes on that Indian guy who was here illegally who made a U-turn in an 18-wheeler and killed three people. Zero for him, 17-wheeler, minutes, and that 17 minutes obviously wasn't arguing to send him back. Just let that sink in for a second. You wonder why the Republicans are trouts it. And the other good thing is the young people, the Gen Zs, they're going our way. It took a long time to turn the boat around. The deranged gunmen who slaughtered two children and injured at least 17 others at a Catholic school in Minneapolis

has, remember the trans one? Remember the guy? The trans girl guy? Whatever the fuck? It was, I had a manifesto but they wouldn't release it and it took my boy Stephen Crowder and his crew to get it out there. This, he probably taught him a lesson.

By the way, somebody put that on the line. He looks just like if you guys saw the movie Mask with Eric Stultz. Anyways, Catholic School of Minneapolis has been identified as a transgender woman. I was reading this story in the mail, the mail

as in the paper over in England, and they still referring to him as a she. Let that sink into. As disturbing videos posted by the shooter show a handwritten manifesto and killed Donald Trump was written on his guns, and

for the children, in quotes, scrawled on gun magazines. Check it up. During the mass, a gunman approached on the outside, on the side of the building, and began firing a rifle through the church windows. Towards the children sitting in the pews at the mess.

Shooting through the windows, he struck children and worshippers that were inside the building. The shooter was armed with a rifle, a shotgun, and a pistol. And a dick. Don't forget a dick. Don't forget she had a dick. here he comes Miss America Excuse me That's a little bit of baby pupe

I ate a baby Just hours before the cowardly massacre Westman 23 was in a hope skirt And playing with himself Posted a series of twisted videos On YouTube Which included statements from His manifesto

Get a good look at him And one 20 minute video Westman flips through the disturbing handwritten manifesto much of it's written in a homespun code that uses a Cyrillic characters and English phonetic words in the deranged writings he gleefully fantasizes about being that scary horrible monster standing over those powerless kids you believe this fucking guy the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist and irreverently confesses admiration for the 2012 Sandy Hook Massacre.

Westman applied to change his birth name from Robert to Robin in Dakota County, Minnesota. You know, that's the state that Tim Walz runs. When he was 17, oh, and by the way, Ilan Omar, she's a senator from there. And I could go on. According to court documents, that name change was granted.

So she went from Robert to Robin in January 2020. And the mother helped with that. The petition added that Westman identifies as a female. The mother were, his mother, her mother, that mother, its mother were. works at the school and helped, you know, change his name. So smack her in the face, too. Identifies as a female and wants her name to reflect that identification.

But five years later, he seemed to have backed away from that identity. Listen to this cycle. I don't want to dress girly all the time, but I guess sometimes I really like it. Well, I can relate to that a little bit. I know I am not a woman, but I definitely don't feel like a man. Well, you got that right. Don't you? Throw your son looks like a fad to me.

I really like my outfit. I look pretty smart and modest. Holy moly. I think I want to wear something like this for my shooting. He also goes into great detail about his decision to target anunciation where he graduated from grade school in 2017, according to a yearbook. The FBI is investigating the mass shooting as an act of domestic terrorism carried out by a transgunman and a hate crime targeting Catholics. That's refreshing to hear. Director Cash Patel said on Wednesday.

Oh, by the way, also on the manifesto, I didn't mention this. I saw it today. There's so much shit I couldn't put it up. But he also admitted he said, I'm sick of being trans. And I wish I didn't, he said, I regret doing this to myself or something like that. Boy, could you get more hardproof? Once again, I'm sorry, the right, right about you. Anyways.

Minneapolis mayor, by the way. You remember this guy during the riots? He went outside thinking he was going to be a hero to those BLM thugs and they chased him up the street practically. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frye made, had to inject, you know, he had to, he couldn't just leave it. And I'll give him this much. The first five minutes, he said, you know, the tragedy and we have to hug these kids and the family.

And whatever, he was laying it on heavy. I was waiting for the butt. And sure enough, the butt came. You had to say this. I have heard about a whole lot of hate that's being directed at our trans community. Fucking quiz. Anybody who is using this as an, using this as an opportunity to villainize our trans community or any other community out there has lost their sense of common humanity. That's good. I can't tell you. We should not.

Yeah? Who lost this sensor? Human. What did he say? Humanity. I would have think this jerk perfectly labeled. And there's no such thing as a trans

community. In order to have a community, oh, I don't know, there has to be both than ten people in the world that have similar traits. How about that? Because they make up about one-one thousandth of the population. Not even a community. So shut the fuck up.

Go back to destroy. Minneapolis with the rest of the blue mayors who are in denial or you're insane. I don't know, but just shut it. Very sad. I can't imagine. And I don't have kids, but I can't imagine. They say it changes your life. Your life's ruined.

Those parents' lives are fucking ruined. And those kids, the ones that survived. I had, I told you, I've mentioned this many times. times on a show. I had a three state troopers pointing guns at me and my buddy because they thought we were in a stolen car. And I had nightmares about it for a month, staring at those guns, knowing if I tripped or whatever. I can't imagine. And one other sad little thing, they interviewed one of these little kids, he goes, my buddy dove over me and he got hit. I don't know if that kid survived or not, but he saved his at that age.

So you fuckers out there who defend this shit and the community, you notice the word community, another point I've made over the years. The word community, you hear it 40,000 times a week now for the last 25 years, community, commune, communism, they all got to get you. You think that's an accident? I think that's a great point. I wish I could get on TV and make it. Anyway, is there another video? No, that was it, right? Good. Thank God for that.

Hey, by the way, perfect. By the way, if you aren't already watching this show on Rumble Live or in the Rumble app, then you're missing out, guys. You can watch my full show free and join our live chat at 6 p.m. And if you subscribe to Rumble premium, you get all the shows on Rumble, get this, add free, plus additional premium content from shows like Lotto with Crowder and all the folks you see in that live line. lineup. I don't know of a better value on the internet other than porn hub when they have that

titty month. Guys with titties. Yeah, they're fat old guys at a grill with no shirt on the summertime. And grab a coffee and discover Vegas level excitement with BEDMGM Casino. Now introducing our hottest exclusive friends, the one with multi-drop. Your favorite classic television show is being reimagined in your new favorite casino game, featuring iconic images from the show. Spin our new exclusive, because we are not on a break. Play Friends, the one with Multidrop, exclusively at BetMGM Casino. Want even more options? Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games from Blackjack to poker. Or head over to the arcade for nostalgic casino thrills. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out. 19 plus

to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-260 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BEDMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Anyhow, let's move ahead. Shall I don't know. He guess he's just stupid. Let's move on to the head of the CDC shit cans. After a month, Dr. Susan, Manana, Monterez. Mananares, beep, beep, beep, beep, de dee. Mananares, beep, beep, mianares, who was sworn in as director of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, which we know is a corrupt organization after COVID, and

prevention on July 31st. So she got her job, July 31st. She's being ousted, according to three sources familiar with the situation who spoke on the condition that they know. not be named because they were not authorized to shear that information. As you can tell, that's a nice head of hair, and it looks good, Gray, but it just tells me I know how she voted. Most chicks who are conservative, a lean right, would dye that hair, and it would work for the

most part. It looks good. But, you know, her departure was quickly followed by the resignation of a lot of other jerkoffs that work there. several high-level veteran agency officials leaving the CDC leaderless at a perilous time. Why is it a perilous time?

Once again, fear-mongering. See, they say that, so it applies to Trump. I mean, ultimately, he's responsible of the firing, right? And he's doing it at the wrong time. Why, I don't know. How about darn COVID? That would have been, even that would have been fake.

Marat, after saying her name, and I've read this, like I don't many times. Moral, M-O-R-A-L-E, I keep, I go Morale, thinking it's another Hispanic woman. Morale, which was already low after Deep Staff cuts this spring, plummeted after a gunman open fight on the agency's main campus in Atlanta on August 8th.

I forgot about that. Can't even keep track of all this shit. Remember parking the building with hundreds of bullet holes and killing a DeKalb County police officer David Rose. This poor guy lost his life over this. Shortly after a further 600 employees got

official termination notices. Shortly after Monterez's departure was confirmed Wednesday, three other top CDC officials, see, Trump was trimming the fad. They don't understand that. They don't work at a fucking business. Also announced that they were leaving. Dr. Deborah Horrie. Look at that. Neck on her

like a defensive back. The agency's chief medical officer and deputy director of programs in science. That's what she did. Then you get Dr. Dimitri Descaloacus seen here, modeling a skull, director of the National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases, and Dr. Dan Jernigan. This guy, if he's not, if that's, if that's, if that's not Roger Haley from I Dream of Jeannie, I'm Barbara Eden.

Look at that fucking guy. Dan Jernigan, director of National Center for emerging in zoonotic infectious diseases. You ever get an infection from the zoo? Oh, I kissed a zebra's ass once at the San Diego Zoo woke up with bumps all over my cock. What? For the good of the nation and the world, the science at CDC should never be censored or subject to political pauses and interpretations. Horry wrote in a resignation email to staff that was shared with CNN. Get out of here.

Monterez's ouster follows days of internal pressure led by Kennedy deputy's chief. We say, oh, Robert Kennedy, yeah,

pressure led by, by the way, I like Kennedy's doing good things. Let me try my drink a power raid or something. I go, I'm rotting my ass pipe. I know,

but it's delicious. I'm sweaty. Dye number nine. I love the red stuff. I'm a tant. you can't kill me with that shit. It's going to take the usual way Italians die, right? Shot in the back of the head at a restaurant

waiting for a paper bag of money. Internal pressure led by Kennedy's Deputy Chief of Staff and close confidant, Stephanie Speer. So she's a good person. Dressed like she works for mum and chants, but according to two people familiar with the situation. It also came soon after Kennedy, that's Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.,

summoned Monterez to Washington and demanded that she fire Horrie, Jernigan, and Daskalakis, according to two other people. So he said, you have to fire the, and she wouldn't do it, so they all get chicked-hand. Do you guys have a beef with everybody? I mean, anyways, familiar with the matter of. Monterez refused angering Kennedy,

and he threw a hot cup of coffee. And I said, get the fire. out of my officer, cock, second, and triggering his move to remove her. Monteraz also clashed with Kennedy and his team over vaccine policies, including an impending, and again, you can tell the politics of the person that wrote this. At the beginning, bringing it up, saying it's a bad time, bringing Trump into it, cutting too many people, they imply it, they're very slick like that, including an impending announcement that could draw links between immunizations and autism.

Yeah, real, real, real, a real long shot. You have a look at the statistics of how many kids since they've been doing vaccines, have autism as opposed to, you can argue it, but it shouldn't something that you go, fuck you then, I'm leaving, you know, that's how they are, man. Immunization and autism, according to a person

familiar with the situation, Zidulation. And then they always go about Robert O'Kennie. He's against, no, he's against shit like we went through COVID. And he has spoken out against, but he's also a million times that I'm not against vaccines. And he qualifies what he's talking about. But once again, the mainstream media just runs with it. He's anti-vaccine.

I still hear my doctor, primary care physician, when he asked, me about a year and a half, year ago during a physical or maybe two years ago, if I had gotten the COVID vaccine, and I said, no way. And he did this nervous laugh like, you're an asshole. That's how I took it. What else would it be? I mean, most of people would probably go, I don't blame him, but he goes, just like a sarcastic. I felt heat coming up in my face, and I pictured me getting a running start. But I can't. My hip's all. fucked up and he fixed it. No, he didn't do nothing. Guy's a blowjob hack.

Hope he's watching. Anyways, that's that. So she got shit can't. She took some people with her and I love it. You know what? I want, we've got to get you know who, Elon Musk back into the fold. Cutting more waste and shit. That's still going on, I guess, since he left.

I believe. If it isn't, it should be. And he should start with a guy at the Sonoco station up the street here who me ship when I bought a pack of marble lights. Just kidding. That stunk. I know. Let's move on to. Man has heated argument with wife.

Operative word in that sentence, heated. Horific video shows a screaming passenger setting himself on fire at an airport terminal. No, it wasn't spirit. It wasn't value jet. That would be funny if it was spirit.

I mean, after getting into an argument with his wife when he was unable to buy flight tickets. Excuse me. Boy, he showed her. Oh, yeah? Is that right, Diane? Well, watch the news tonight. Fucking people at the airport were making s'mores over his ass.

Footage shared on social media showed the passenger wearing a baseball cap and jacket and suspected to be drunk. Well, that's the best time to light yourself on fire. The alcohol fucking works from the inside out. You've got to get it all. Standing at a counter at El Mady International Airport in Kazakhstan, I had to connect through there to get to Pittsburgh.

Think about that. I had to connect in Kazakhstan to get the Pittsburgh to the funny bone. I said to my manager, have you ever heard of Routes? Anyway, suddenly, he gets engulfed in flames and rums from behind a desk like a black fellow with the stolen radio under his arm. And into the concourse before collapsing and rolling on the floor. I'm not

going to give you a trigger warning because my fans aren't pussies. I watch this shit over and over again like the Supruta film. It's just, this is the beauty of the internet. You can see shit you would have missed if you weren't at the Kazakhstan airport. I've been to the Kyrgyzstan airport, by the

way, and now Dallas has been through. We landed when I was with the U.S. So we landed there like one in the... This is still one of my favorite memories. One or two in the morning and it's a little small airport and it's kind of dark and there's one little cafe open, a beer, whatever the fuck

and there's hookers, there's a hooker standing next to the bathroom I went into. Why can't we get that shit here? Savannah. It's funny to think that we went through the same because we drank at that bar when we ended up Afghanistan. I had, we had a beer

there too. It's two in the morning. I'm in Kyrgyzstan, head in Afghanistan. And that's so cool, isn't it? Dallas? You're a fucking soldier. I'm a comedian. We get around. We spread our shit everywhere. Nobody wants it. What a trip that was. Again, one in a lifetime trip. I don't

think I could do it again. Honestly, I just remember standing outside of the barracks with Dave Attell. Of course, he's smoking a cigarette. It had to be 117. I was going to ask him for a light, but my cigarette lit up itself. I couldn't believe it. That's how hot it was, folks. Everybody? Check out this guy lighting himself on fire because he's arguing with his wife on the farm.

an airport staff had told Kazakh outlet Tengren news, they are on your side at 10. Tengren. That the man had begged to get a flight after missing his train home. I did this to myself.

My wife could piss me. I was supposed to fly home from Seattle. I missed the flight. She started arguing. She wanted me to take an Uber from Seattle to Savannah. So I lit myself on fire. He entered an office.

and asked for a phone to call his wife and then started pouring gasoline, you know, because we all carry gasoline to the, you got through security with a can of fucking S. S.U. 2000? I have a half a bottle of Gatorite and they frisked me. How'd you do that? Oh, that tight security over there in Kacketstan. Gasoline over himself, arguing with her. He says, I'll show you. He then allowed a worker to leave the office. Well, that was nice of him before torching himself. He was very polite. Some say he may have been drunk.

What gives him that idea? It is not clear how the man got gasoline into the airport. It's safe to rule out that he stuck it up his pooper. It's a five-gallon jug. But it's believed he may have picked it up from a nearby gas state. Oh, good ferry,

Sherlock. Thank you. Here he is. Winning the argument with his wife. That looks like me when I agree with my wife at the end, in the kitchen, the fetal position. I get fucking tomato sauce all over my back. I'm burnt. Speaking of tomato sauce and fat fucks, fat boy Pritzker, that would be the governor of Illinois, who's from a billionaire family, and he's just a stoop.

I guarantee he had nothing to do with it. This guy out of all of them is the, I mentioned a few lefties that I think, I don't know if I even, I forgot this boy, this guy leads the league. stupid right now. Anyways, he's talking tough. Illinois Democrat governor J.B. Priske said the state and I quote will not stand idly by, unquote, if President Donald Trump makes good on his threat to deploy the National Guard to Chicago to respond to crime in the windy city. But how come you didn't go into detail as what you're going to do and how are you going to stop that? You didn't, did you? You fat fuck. Because you got no plan. This is the guy.

who we showed a day or two ago, proving that Chicago is a quiet, peaceful city by going to the lake at 6 in the morning. He almost had a heart attack while he was filming it. We could hear him. It sounded like an obscene phone call. Look, everybody's fine but me. Unlike Donald Trump, listen to this fat fuck.

Unlike Donald Trump, I can poke holes in every paragraph. Unlike Donald Trump, we keep our promises. The one thing Trump is known for, Even the left, even people at CNN said he's keeping his promises. You stupid fat, how do they let a guy like this have such a voice? Because he's a governor. How does he get elected? Well, he's a billionaire.

I'm sure he knows a lot of people. You really think he was saying with the, they got this guy as the governor. And then they got the mayor Chicago, that black dude Johnson, who's a self-of-out communist. So he says, yeah, I'd like trying to. we keep our promises. That's hilarious to put that on X. We will not stand idly by if he decides to send the National Guard to imitate Chicagoans. Action will be met with response. Again, a lot of talk, no details. The governor said there was no crime emergency in Chicago. Then why didn't you go to the west side or the south side where kids are getting shot on the way? Trump even put up a

thing last week in 23 shootings, I think, seven, whatever to fuck. And they come out and gaslight you. And people still vote Democrat. How do we pipe this show to the people that need to hear it? The safety of the people of Illinois always my top priority. Well, boy, you're not doing a very good job. Why don't you look at how many people have been murdered since you've been governor? And that's your top priority? Who doesn't keep their promises? Go have a yo-yo. Not a yo-yo. A ho-ho. A fucking Twinkie. Something filled with blard other than you. there's no emergency that warrants the president of the United States

federalizing the Illinois National Guard. Did you ask the black people who we've been seeing on the internet going, this is great? You know, the D.C. people from other states or sending active duty military within our borders.

On Monday, Pritzker, as he was finishing a 12-foot sub, said the potential federal deployment is unconstitutional and un-American. That's all. I don't think he knows the constitution. They just throw that, out there. It's a knee-jerk reaction. And also the stupid black mayor, the communist, you know,

he said Trump, we're not going to stand for this. Donald Trump wants to use the military to occupy a U.S. occupy it or to clean it up? Everything you say is this dog shit, punish its dissidents and score political points. If this were happening in any other country, we would have no trouble calling it what it is, a dangerous power grab. think about that and somebody watching CBS NBC's going he's right Trump's grabbing power

it's one thing to gaslight people but it's another to have evidence that what you're saying is total bullshit from last week in D.C. It's one thing to gaslight but when people go no we saw it and that's why

they're hemorrhaging voter registration people. Here's Trump responding. It might have been before. It doesn't matter. He's talking about Pritzker. And they're going to fight me. Like this slob of a governor you have in Illinois. He's poor.

He's poor. Guy got thrown out of his business by his family. Pause. I didn't know he was talking about Pritzker. I, because I heard that wrong. He did. He got canned by his own family from the family business. It's like Frato.

Go ahead. know the family as partners with the family nice family i like the family but he was no good he was they threw him out he's governor of illinois and he goes about trump we don't need his help chicago is the way good and he goes on television says oh trump is a dictator he's a and a lot of people here so so the line is that i'm a dictator but i stop crime so a lot of people people say you know if that's the case I'd rather have a dictator but I'm not a dictator I just try to stop crime yes sir I always said what we need is a benign dictator that's what they called Giuliani when he cleaned up New York City

anybody does any good for the people is a dictator to the left you guys get the impression that everybody in politics on the left should have done something else for a living? Because they've never, and I've heard like Tucker Carlson used to make this point over and over here, they've never built anything in their life. You know what I mean? They've never done anything other than go to school and then go into this shit business. Also, a Trump tweet on Tuesday, he put on social, truth social, I think, or X doesn't matter. Trump responded to Pritzker and Johnson on Tuesday writing in a social media post that the governor is an incompetent and the mayor is a no better.

Yes, sir. A really deadly weekend in Chicago, Trump wrote on Truth Social. Six dead, 27 hurt. They're so used to it and so conditioned to the crime like this that they think that's the status quo and it can't be fixed. And Trump disproved all that in D.C. Six dead, 27 hurt and crime sprees all over the city.

This is Trump's tweet. Panic-stricken, Governor Prisca says the crime is under control when in fact that is just the opposite. He is an incompetent governor who should call me for help. Mayor Johnson is no better. Make Chicago great again. And one of my favorite cities, by the way.

Right. In D.C., carjackings are down 87% ever since federalization. That's not 100% Dallas. There's the left's response to that. Yeah, all that shit. Carjackings, robberies, everything. You got nowhere to run left, D.

You got two choices. Get out of politics or start leaning at least to the center a little bit. Pretend. Your great lie as an actor is, pretend you care about the people. Even though we know you're an enemy of this state. It really is insane. If you looked at the Dems, the DNC's plan for America, it would mirror whatever fucking communist or socialist, Lenin,

fucking Mousa, all those fuckers. It would look like they wrote it. Let's move on to the little engine that could. This is a child segment. This made me laugh too, because I'm no strange at Amtrak. I am from Boston when I first started a comedy and had to go out of New York City back and forth.

I don't know why I thought Amtrak was a good... Instead of driving, I forget. Well, actually, because especially if you haven't been to New York yet, you'd rather just have the train drive. drop you. I take it back and forth many times. God, I've been around a long time. That seems like eons ago. Five New Antwerp trains will be rolling out between Washington, D.C. That's five, did I say? Yeah. But that's just between D.C., New York, and Boston at top speeds of 160 miles per hour. And that starts today by the, right?

Are you interested in the real story? I am. Tell me more. the inaugural next-gen a cellaride is taking off from Washington's Union Station where the U.S. Department of Transportation is planning to reclaim management to restore this federal asset to its former glory to New York's Penn Station. I didn't know it ever worked. You ever see how many, they literally, they've lost billions, billions since this came around. Of course, Joe Biden's favorite transportation. he could go in the, because he'd go in the shitter and take a 40-minute nap and he'd have

detailed security around, not letting anybody. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, another Fox News guy, by the way, former, demand that Amtrak improved public safety at the train station earlier this year, which aligns with President Donald Trump's administration's broader push to crack down on crime in the nation's capital. Here's Mr. Duffy. I think he's all excited about the new Amtrak trains. Go ahead, Mr.

He looks like an FBI guy from the 50s. It's going to be faster. We're going to have not 15 trains. We're going to have 28 trains. So we're going to be able to carry more people on these trains, which I hope to be a bigger shitholes. Better pricing. It's going to mean better revenue.

But most importantly, a better experience for the traveling public. Stay away from the Amtrak clam plate, by the way. I ate that and almost die. It is a nice way to travel, though. I mean, if you didn't have other means, They have a car in the back with food. I used to go back there, get the food. And then I'd eat the food.

Eat the food, Tina. This is from Napoleon Dynamite. Yeah, eat the food, Tina. The food, Tina. Was it a llama? Yeah. Lama. Napoleon Dynamite, one of the funniest movies of.

Amtrak's next genocela is considered a premium ride for travelers. Offering free high-speed Wi-Fi. Ooh, count me in. individual USB ports, power outlets, and reading lights. What were they in the dark? No computers? I know. Fares for one way.

Oh, yeah, this is great. Fares for one way business class service between Washington and New York on Friday, this Friday, August 20. $490, $98 per, 500 bucks per traveler. Is that supposed to be a bargain? It's just so ridiculous. And the other thing. He goes, they're going to be much faster. And I went, and they said 160 miles per hour.

And I'm like, that's fast. That is fast. Because I was thinking the other ones, well, they felt like they're doing 55. But I'm like, what are the other ones do? 80, 90, maybe a, maybe a hundred. The old ones do 150. That's 10 miles per hour fast. They're talking like it's a bullet train out of Japan.

You know, those trains over, right? In Japan, China, they don't, they go like 200 and something. Right? one of them took off nobody could hurt a seller first launched on December 11th 2000 oh god I used to stand a Penn Station to go back to Boston from New York standing there in the morning with all the morning

commuters coming in and a bunch of people going to it would stand a look at the board and it would come up it would say Washington to Boston I mean New York to Boston delayed one hour you'd hear 5,000 people go motherfucker we're all looking up at the What a rat race. And when you used to pull into Penn Station,

I'm sure this hasn't changed, they would go, the last announcement you'd hear is when detraining at Plans. Keep an eye on your personal belongings. Welcome to New York. Unbelievable. Anyways, the Sela Lama

the nation's busiest rail corridor is what they call the Acella Amtrak, New York, Boston, Washington thing. The first edition trains only, reach speeds of 150, which is 10 miles per hour less than the new ones. That's one fat guy. That's one fat guy in the food car. He gets off.

You're doing a buck 80. Is that not the silliest thing I've ever heard? Finally tonight. This is an update on a story that we touched on earlier last week. Headline, this guy's no hero. Hero in quotes. I am a silly. bitch. A former Department of Justice employee who prosecutors, again, I'll say that a former

Department of Justice, he was a former DOJ guy who prosecutors say threw a sandwich at a federal officer in Washington, D.C. Did that say allegedly? Uh, anyways, has avoided indictment for felony assault. Sean Charles Dunn, sounds like a mass shooter. 37 was allegedly caught in video shouting obscenity obssebidi yes shouting

Yosemite Sam's at cops at custom oh here we go customs and border protection oh that's CBP agents

standing near 14th and U Streets in Washington on August 10th witnesses said Dun yelled why are you here

I don't want in my city while confronting the agents at one point he was said to call an officer a fascist

wow an original and then he did you remember this let's refresh the people's memory here's that clip of him I'm gonna fucking guy

all right It doesn't matter if it's but they really enjoy it when it's a white guy doing something to a cop. They fucking giggle like, yeah. Drills the guy in the chest

with a nice saying. Again, I was more upset about the meat hitting the ground and I know it's a subway scene but I'm just saying. He was chased down, arrested, and later fired from his DOJ position.

And Janine Piero, the U.S. attorney for D.C. will show you what she said right after that, remember? because she was all, and she's going to, this is what she had to say. An individual went up to one of the federal law enforcement officers and started jumping up and down, screaming at him, berating him, yelling at him. About your pantsuit.

And then he took a subway sandwich about this big and took it and threw it at the officer. He thought it was funny. Well, he doesn't think it's funny today because we charge it with a felony, assault on a police officer. And we're... Janine, Janine, in her 70s, you're going to hand it to her. On Tuesday, prosecutors from the office of U.S. attorney

for D.C., Janine Piero asked a federal grand jury to indict done for felony assault of a federal officer. Excuse me. But as the New York Times first reported, the grand jury voted against returning an indictment. Well, again, it's a D.C. Right?

You're asking people from D.C.? I think we have to readjust because the people designed our legal system didn't know people were going to become such bipartisan assholes. I should say partisan assholes. And that bleeds into everything. I would be nervous if I had to go to court and a jury's going to decide whatever the fuck. Because they know what your politics are and something needs to be done, man. And I say, give all the fuck cases again to Judge Brown.

He's terrific. done that's the guy who threw the sandwich allegedly lobbed the subway sandwich he lobbed it has to be a chick or a gay guy write in this article drilling somebody in the chest from a foot away is lobbing it thank you lobbed the subway sandwich at the officer as president trump's law and order initiative and the capital got underway it's unclear it is unclear prosecutors will try to indict done on lesser charges of what being a asshole.

So, I'd like to talk to Judge Dineen and go, what the fuck happened here? I mean, that's assault. And she'll go, well, look where we are. Look at the people who decided it. That's it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. I'm happy to say, not that I don't like you. I'm just, I'm lazy. I like to do shit on the weekends.

I will, what will I do? Oh, college football. I can't say, I got to do something a little different. I can't lay there from noon to 1 a.m. And I'm not fucking joking. You know, with a bowl of nachos on my chest. My dog biting my balls. It's a lot of fun.

Anyways, that's it. It's, again, no show on Monday because it's Labor Day weekend, which I can't believe. We just put the Halloween shit away. Literally a month ago. We're lazy, me in the way. So we have to break it out again. Anyways, go to nickdip.com before you go. My tour date, September 8.

18th, hyenas in Dallas, Texas. And then the next night, the next two nights, I'm at Wise Guys, Salt Lake City. That's the 19th and 20th of September. And then October 3rd, the Arlington Draft House, Arlington, Virginia. And then the 16th of October, Zanies and Nashville to wrap it up, I think. And again, I'm seriously considering taking next year off stand-up-wide. I don't know. It's been 38 years.

And I know a few of my colleagues who have taken, you know. Of course, they're huge stars and have a ton of money, but I can always sell weed to the young Puerto Rican kid. So that's it. And go to the merchandise page at nickdip.com and buy something to help support the show. We appreciate that. That's it, ladies and gentlemen, you think it, I'll say. Very welcome. Have a great long weekend.

We'll see you back here on Tuesday. Take care. Hi. Good night, everybody. the world today And everybody's a happy love The bad things gone away And everybody's happy now

The good things here to stay Please let it stay Hey today Everybody's happy now The bad things go away And everybody's happy And all the good things is staying

Please let me Ooh, let it Thank you.