The Nick DiPaolo Show - Apple of Trump’s Eye | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1775

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

Trump’s Apple team-up, a nearby shooting on military grounds, a major change to the U.S. Census, and a fire chief whose bedside manner needs a little work. Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

BASY-WIN-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W. And the things, I'm smart, not like everybody says. Like, don't, I'm smart, and I want to skate. Hello, I'm Fredo Cuomo. Remember they called him Fredo? Chris Cuomo was in a gym. Some guy called him Frato. and he fucking wanted to fight the guy

It was all on camera Hold on a second You're all right Jesus One ambient and I can't function in the morning Hi, how you doing? I had to ask for directions here today Guy goes, why are you backing on my lawn?

I said, I don't know What do you give a fuck? I was trying to knock over those garden gnomes Your wife put up fat bitch Hi When I was a daughter-door sales when we would look for the people that had gnomes and flamingos on their lawn because we knew they would buy anything. That's what we were taught. Must have been a stretch of two months.

I didn't knock a door that didn't have like a penguin on the steps. That has to be a chapter in my book. That door-to-door sales job I had. Fucking A. That was a script I wanted to write when I was in L.A. But then I found a titty bar up the street. Hung out there with a Pauley Shore. He knew all the strippers.

How you doing, folks? Sox signed. Oh, there we go. Jesus, fuck us. Welcome to the live lineup. Jesus Christ. Don't you know what you're watching at this point? From 9 a.m. Eastern to 7 p.m. Eastern time.

Pack with great shows. Look at the heavy hitters there. We have Merv Griffin, Mike Douglas. Kevin McElanine and Stephen Crowder So yeah no it's really You can from 9 a.m. if you're a news junkie Not just a news junkie a little bit at a time I would say this shows the silliest of them all

I just taking a guess at that They put me 19th Anyways today I'll be talking about Donald Trump hooking up with a globalist It's funny to see him and Tim Cook standing near each other from two different worlds But when it comes to Chetter, so Apple's going to make a ton of investment here. God forbid any other president thought of doing that.

Too busy fucking us. Also, a horrible shooting, not far from here, but an hour, hour and a half from here at Fort Stewart, a colored guy. Also, Trump wants to make major change to the U.S. census. Yeah, he's so outrageous, Trump. He's so intolerant. He doesn't want people who aren't from here in the census. I mean, that's, boy, how draconian, huh? I'm being sarcastic, fuck stains.

All right. And we got a clip of a fire chief, cursing out a 10-year-old girl being put into an ambulance. I'd make them fucking fire chief of the year when you find out what it is. It's first you're like, oh, what an asshole. But then I'm like, oh, he's been called to this house about a hundred times. Honestly, I'd fucking, anyways, I'll defend them. I'll be the only one in the country. big deal an adult cursed out a girl who was pissed because they took her phone away

or some shit had it with these fuckers so that's what I'll be talking about Red Sox handed Roman Anthony a eight-year $130 million deal with incentives that would push it up to 230 million of the next eight years and it's funny I just read this guy Jim Bowden who who I believe was the GM of the Yankees at one point. He wrote a great book, baseball book. Of course, I think it was something. It was Bronx Zoo? Do you remember what it was?

I mean, he's famous. It's a famous book. Even people didn't follow baseball read it. It was about how crazy the Yankees. Anyways, he, who's got a ton of experience, was surprised that Anthony accepted such a low ball offer after looking at Guerrero Jr. But Guerrero, you know, Guerrero Jr. and Acuna, they've fucking been in the league a while.

I mean, so I don't know what he was talking about, but he probably knows better than I do what you can get what you can't. But Roman Anthony, I'll tell you, man, he is, he has an eye. Last night there were two balls that were an inch off the plate, the ump called him strikes. He didn't even sniff at him. And he'll do that with two strikes on him. He must have eyes like fucking Ted Williams. he picks up it's insane his arm base percentage

is like 45% it's insane and he gets the big hit when you need it I'm just waiting for that powder kick in you know anyways what else can I talk about you guys don't give me shit about my niece got some new shoes

she's 47 they're corrective fucking never get late I had corrective I had corrective shoes I was a little. I was born really flat feet. Corrective shoes. Nobody knew. They look like regular shoes.

Except they said corrected one. Anyhow, anyway. Jason's with us here today. Jason, one of the original Twinks, work in the machine. Dale is sitting next to him. It's like a cockpit. It's southwest. Only they're both sober. For now. For now.

Dallas, you never know. He pops out a thing of whiskey out of his beard. You know, there's little nips. He keeps him in his beard. What and fucking so tight. See it tomorrow night. Hopefully, if you guys watch it, see it tomorrow night. It's side splitters.

I'm just waiting already. Isn't it sad? This is something I do for a living, and I really do enjoy it when I'm doing the actual act. But you'd think I'd have to, you think I'm connecting to Yugoslavia for my mother's funeral the way I feel right now. Just fucking doom and gloom. I just, the fact that I have to get up at like seven tomorrow, which everybody in the world does almost, but not me. I didn't get into comedy and do that shit.

Anyways, got to connect through fucking Sacramento to get to Tampa from Savannah. That's why I'm a little angry. Anyhow, let's get to it. How You Like Them Apples? Which was the most, probably the worst line in a movie ever. Goodwill. hunting. You remember that scene? Fucking Matt Damon and some

puke in a bar kind of arguing over a girl and then Matt Damon gets the girl surprise, gets her number and he walks up to the guy's eating in a restaurant. Naturally he's right there, the guy you were arguing with. And he puts it the... You like apples?

He goes, do you like apples? And like the fucking guy would answer him? Yeah, I know. The guy that's in the restaurant he was just arguing with, that'd be like this. Get the fuck away from you, dork. Of course, the guy, you know, it's like fucking, it was like Laurel and Hardy. It's more orchestrated than who's on first. How you like them apples?

What? Do you like apples? Yeah, I do. Now hit me with a punchline. Yuck. Anyways, President Donald Trump and Apple CEO, Tim Cook, announced the, is Tim, saying, This is how many billion I made in six minutes. Tim Cook announced that the tech giant is investing 600 billion.

That's with a be in America over the next four years, up to 100 billion from Apple's initial investment announcement. Trump revealed the major investment while flanked by Cook Treasury Secretary Scott Besant and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik in the Oval Office. Here's the president. and the big announcement, and the optics are funny on this because Tim Cook, I mean, come on, he's

what you call a globalist, believe me. If you told him you didn't believe in the vaccine, he'd have your shot, or whatever. But once again, everybody speaks green. And this really is bringing home fucking factories from China and shit. God forbid.

That's white male colonels. That's patriarchy. That's fucking fascist shit. Trump has done more Honest to God, I know I keep blowing his home, but he has done more. How long has you been in office now since January? He's done more than all the presidents combined. I mean, as far as help in this country, domestically and whatever.

Who know it took a businessman to run a business, which is what this country is? Anyways, here's Trump with a semi-hard on talking about the investment. Today, Apple is announcing that it will invest $600 billion. dollars. That's with a B in the United States over the next four years. That's a hundred billion dollars more than they were originally going to invest. And this is the largest investment Apple has ever made in America and anywhere else. And it's just an honor to have you, as you know, Apple's been an investor in other countries a little bit. I won't say which ones, but a couple. And he goes, they're coming home. They're coming home. Done my time.

That's fucking beautiful. Here is Tim Cook getting to a fist fight with Trump, said I never said with a B. Tim Cook getting into more specifics about the detail. And it is. It's good to see a couple part. Trump's a heavy hitter, man. You can summon these guys and they run like little puppies to him.

And, you know, my only question is, how are you going to pay these work? workers, after you've been paying these Chinese kids that are 11 years old and they strap them to a desk for 22 hours and you pay them 11 cents, I'm guessing there might be a little price jump. I don't know. I always say we get plenty of Down syndrome kids over here who are doing nothing. They're trying to hit a wiffle ball for hours and throw an apron on them and just explain it to him. But here's Tim Cook. to make 19 billion chips for Apple in 24 factories across 12. Some of them cool ranch. Second, we're committed to buying American-made advanced rare earth magnets. Janet Yellen called, wants her hair back. Which will become part of Apple's devices shipped around the world.

MP is the only fully integrated rare earth producer in the United States, and with this partnership, there'll be significant. expanding their flagship facility in Fort Worth, Texas. We're also thrilled to work together on a cutting-edge rare earth recycling line in Mountain Pass California. And third, in Kentucky, we've worked with our partners at Corning to build the world's largest and most advanced smartphone glass production line. And I'm pleased to announce that very soon, this is for the first time ever, every single new iPhone and every single new Apple Watch sold anywhere in the world will contain

cover glass made in Kentucky. In addition to the American manufacturing program, we just have to find somebody in Kentucky that reads at a fifth-grade level in AI, including expanding data center capacity in North Carolina in Nevada. All right, we get it. Very nice. Lesbian. Here's something that bugs me. I've watched Jeopardy and somebody gets one right, and the other contestants pretend to applaud, and they go like this, while they hold them.

I hate fake applause. I've seen that done. Just don't do it. Just, you know, put the buzzer down and give it an Al Gore. Remember Al Gore? Anyhow, moreover, Apple will establish a manufacturing academy, which I've already applied to, in Detroit, Michigan, a rare earth magnet facility in Texas, and a rare earth recycling line. I don't even know what the fuck they're talking about.

Mountain Pass California, Trump said, emphasizing Trump goes, oh, I love that you're doing this. Well, he was reading all the shit that he was doing. I mean, that's billions and billions, not to mention we already got, I don't know how many companies, you know, it's like there will be no tariffs. You come here and build your fucking shit. And I think my wife is explaining a little bit. If you build your shit here, like let's say, my wife explained it good actually, if you're building whatever and you need computer chips from the Philippines, if you build your factory here, you won't have to. to pay that tariff, you'll get it for free, which to businesses, that's millions and millions. So that's how that works. Take it from me, a guy who got a 2.4 in marketing at the University

of Maine and was asked to leave his class because he was falling asleep once again. Anyways, that's pretty, pretty goddamn. Can you imagine Kamala Harris or Biden? Can you imagine this country is actually arguing? I mean, we know it was. bullshit, but the left was arguing that Biden was every bit as smart and sharp as truck. Can you fucking imagine? Biden needed a guy to make change for a five when he was buying an ice cream cone.

This guy summons in countries from all over the place. Anyways, let's move on to not-so-friendly fire. This was kind of a horrible story. We saw it come on the news as we were leaving yesterday. That's why we didn't get to it. But the Army Sergeant accused of opening fire

at Georgia's Fort Stewart-based and, wow, Fort Stewart-based and wounding five fellow soldiers was subdued by quick-thinking service members soon after the bullets started flying. If you remember, this could have been a lot where, you guys, you remember Fort Hood. And Obama called that a work, remember workplace violence when the guy in Fort Hood sprayed everybody?

Let's take a look at some videotape. It's nobody getting shot, I don't think. Currently before 11 o'clock, an active duty soldier assigned to Fort Stewart, Georgia, shot and wounded five of his fellow soldiers here on Fort Stewart. Thankfully, all are in stable condition and all are expected to recover. The alleged shooter is in custody. We have reestablished security. I have lifted all lockdown measures on Fort Stewart,

and there is currently no threat to the local community. Thanks for that energy. Yes, sir. Every officer ever had. You know, I know it's a shooting. It's our own guys, but I get bigger things. I have to fill out the schedule for KP duty, and somebody's going to dig that.

The latrina ain't going to dig itself. By the way, they're in fair condition. What motivated the shooter identified as 28-year-old Sergeant Cornelius, and I'll spell that for you the way he spells it, Q-U-O-R-N-E-L-I-U-S. No one's ever spelled it like that, ever. Cornelius Radford, what the motive was to commit the heinous act was not immediately known, Brigade General John Lubis said.

What we know is the shooting occurred at the soldiers' place of work. Uh-oh. Are we already ready to make this workplace violence? That's what Obama did. So it didn't, you know. Excuse me. Loebis said Radford used a personal handgun in the attack, which left five soldiers stationed at the sprawling base wounded,

three of whom required surgical intervention. Little was immediately known about Radford, 28 years old, who Lubbis said had never been deployed to combat, so you can't use the old post-traumatic. had, to have any disciplinary, he never had any disciplinary issues. He was described as an automated logistics sergeant, although he doesn't look like he could play Halo, assigned to the Second Brigade Combat Team at Fort Stewart.

Radford is currently in pretrial confinement awaiting a charging decision by the Office of Special Trial. Council. Bye, dickhead. What was the motivation? Oh, I don't know. How about that, he didn't even understand the title of his own job? I don't know.

Probably deep down he's taught to hate this guy. He looks like he's almost retarded, so, you know what I mean? So I don't know how you have a, he has a job with that title, the word logistics. That's fucking huge. It's huge. Logistics. Anyhow, that's horrible. Those guys look like they're going to survive.

I don't know how. I'm guessing they weren't like, I'm guessing they were very close. Anyhow. Now here's something. Come to your census. I spelled that C-E-N-S-U-S. I'm pretty good with that punny shit.

President Trump, I just read this, I think I just broke this morning, again doing some outrageous shit. Trump announced Thursday his intentions to exclude the article says undocumented immigrants. I say illegal filth from the United States census who have been counted in the nationwide count that occurs once every 10 years since at least 1790. We were counting people in 1790 When some guy get on the roof of his house 11, 12, 26 We're up for it from last year

John Smith and our Pocahontas hair just had twins I mean give me a fucking break anybody You guys marking the funny ones Dallas? I mean were you? Are you just starting now? I just gave you fuckers gold.

Really? I have instructed our Department of Commerce to immediately begin work on a new and highly accurate census. This, you know, okay. I say this calls for action and now. That's Trump's real voice when he gets angry. Based on modern day facts and figures, God forbid. And importantly, using the results

and the information gained from the presidential election of 2020. Trump wrote in an online post on truth of social. However, Trump likely does not, okay, who asked you, first of all, whoever's writing the article? Here's where it is. You're supposed to report it. You're not a fucking, you're right for like USA Today.

You fucking, you draw pie charts for them. Trump likely does not have the authority to exclude undocumented immigrants. Yeah, we heard that about about nine other things. unconstitutional, that ended up being constitutional. So, eat a bag of shit. Regarding the nationwide count, the Constitution makes clear reference to counting the whole number of free persons. And I'm sure when they wrote that back then, they knew half of Guatemala and El Salvador

were going to be here, raping and killing. Suck it, fuck it. The framers of the Constitution had even considered and rejected excluding, I'm sure they did. Sure they did. Undocumented immigrants from the count wrote some lesbian for whatever paper this came from the Daily Mail, with earlier drafts of the document making reference to the census only counting the whole number of free citizens. You need to shut the fuck up. Me or the person? Yeah, yeah, boy.

You just entered a new realm of this podcast. The second half, anybody tell you, it's in black. Black and white? No, black. Do yourself a favor. Google Chris Rock Show, HBO, Black News. You want to laugh? Still to this day, you know, I know Chappelle's shit's great, too, but you got to watch.

was the original. It is the funniest fucking shit. They're like, in financial news, there's a black guy sitting. He's like, the NASDAQ went up the minimum. Let's throw it to Sherry with the weather. And this fucking black woman's in front of a map going, the Lowe's coming over the... I'm not doing it justice because I'm Caucasian with the dancing. But goddamn, if you guys have a chance, watch those shows, because it really, I think, you know, sort of spawned Chappelle type shit. Let's move on to shoot her down. This was pretty interesting here. I don't know if, again, in theory, it sounds great.

A Texas company wants to deploy new technology to stop school shootings. I don't know why. It makes for good news. David Hogg. David Hogg. Hog. Do you know Jim Acostis? This is how hard up he is for a job and attention.

He, I don't know if he's got a podcast or something. He interviewed one of the Parkland victims, a dead kid. He interviewed like the hologram of the kid. Yeah. Yeah. That guy's

fucking sick in the head. But I'm sure the kid's parents said, yeah, go ahead. What the fuck. Isn't that fucking gross? Yeah. Bring back the little girl. I want to talk about her ass.

What? Campus Guardian Angel, that's the name of the company, says it uses non-lethal drones. And so do I. I fly them all over people's pools. Don't you do that? I love those guys. They sit home, they live in a neighborhood,

and they know the hut chicks where they live, and they fly their drones over the, you know, if they have a pool and the girls are laying. I think that's terrific. Now they're working in the tower at fucking LaGuardia. They want to use non-lethal drones and they can respond to a threat in seconds. They say it's a potential solution

that could keep students, staff, and responding officers safe. I told you, no fucking kids. No, but you wouldn't listen. Why, you stupid fuck. Why, you stupid fuck. My favorite line. Is this a funny line for my headstone?

What was that all about? Question mark. Good one? All right. It's a good one, right? Now that I put it out there, there'll be people taking credit for it all over the but I just marked it. School police chiefs

and other law enforcement leaders are getting a first-hand... I want to see what the... I want to see what the Dems have to say, how they argue about this. But what if it hits one of the kids in the head? Get a firsthand look at new technology meant to keep kids safe,

including drones are doing everything. Man, the sky's going to be a mess. You know what I mean? Imagine there's a school shooting a drone's head in the school. and it collides with one of them bringing a pizza. Some fat guy. 40 kids die.

And this guy's got a nice fucking meat lovers. Watching the kids on the new. That look like it's stung. I should use these this weekend. Okay, let's play this video of these drones. It was very, very cool. Walk us through how these drones work. Well, first what I do is,

I go to... We put them in the schools. ahead of time in charging boxes. And if somebody presses a button or alerts us from the school, our job is to respond in five seconds, to be on the shooter in 15 seconds, and to degrade or incapacitate in 60 seconds. So we have a central team that's flying them over an encrypted channel on the internet. But because they've already placed, they're kind of like a sprinkler system that you

already have there in the school that can put effects on that threat immediately. That's, it's, I mean, it's a great idea, but even in a minute, a kid's going to do a lot of damage, depending on the situation. I mean, if he's standing outside, you might have a chance. But if this kid's kicks the door in, you know what I mean? And you can kill a ton of people in a minute with the right gun, which we all know they have. So again, it sounds good. But as far as the execution of it, I don't know. I mean, I still say give all the lads and lassies their own guns

in the white schools. The black kids already got them. No need for it. And give the teacher a, that's still to me. Again, I don't know, but a minute, I mean, that sounds quick, but a minute is, as Dallas knows, They fucking, you can do a ton of damage. Should have seen what he did to a public supermarket

when they ran out of avocados last week. Sprayed the fucking. They had avocados next week. Yeah, they did. He said they had avocados next week. You goddamn right. And they were like free. People said, we don't want anybody

getting pissed at these things again. The drones are equipped with sirens, flashing lights, and pepper guns. and now restaurants will be using them. You want pepper on that? And can fly directly at a suspect at a high speed to take them out. That's the, I mean, but again, man, you got to, I say, teacher, you want employment to go through the roof as far as low unemployment?

There's a million veterans, retired cops, who would love, you pay them, well to sit in front of a school and have the teachers all take class, you know, gun training, and they should have a gun. Imagine the Dems even argue that. But what happens if it goes, they're like fucking 90-year-old women? And you know what you say to people who argue that? You go, okay, so do I have this straight? You'd rather, your kid's in second grade, you'd rather have him in a class.

And when a guy busts him with a gun, have nobody there with a gun to protect him. That's all you have to say to these people, and they'll still come up with some bullshit argument, because again, it's not about reason and logic, it's about winning the argument, and that is so silly. But you've got to give this company credit for thinking like this, and, you know, we'll see what happens, but it's very hard to, I would think the drones also outside, you know, when everybody's in class, nobody's supposed to be wandering around the buildings and shit. um anyways we shall see what i wonder what they're going to cost and um who's going to try him

first and of course we'll hear a report oh a little girl's pigtails get caught in a drone and her head was popped off we can't be doing that anymore anyways let's move on uh here's a guy that might need a job and could guard a school uh with uh yes you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad heard only in Canada, reach great Canadian listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libson ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts, offering host endorsements, or run a pre-produced ad like this one, across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Libson ads. Email Bob at Libson.com to learn more. That's B-O-B-L-I-B-S-Y-N.com. Let me do this first. Um, dates.

Tomorrow night and Saturday night, I'll be at Sidesplitters in Tampa. Hope to see you guys there. Second show is, they're all, both of them are very close to sold out, which means it's worth my trip. Is it all about money, Nick? Yeah, what the fuck, you're kidding me? What do you think is about laughs? What the fuck is the matter with you? What's the matter with you?

Next, September hyena is in Dallas. That's on a Thursday night. And then the next night, I will go to Utah, the next two nights. September 19th and 20th at Wise Guys in Salt Lake City, Utah, October 3rd, Arlington, Draft House, Arlington, Virginia, and then October 16th, Zanies in Nashville, Tennessee. Hope to see you guys there. Go to the merchandise page at Nick Dip.com. All the proceeds go to orphans in Nigeria and Tanawanda and Buffalo. Science players are a great club. It's an old main state. Everybody's been through it.

Brian Thomas is the manager. This guy, I would not want to scrap with this guy. He's a good-natured guy, but he's about, I don't know, I'd say, 6-2 maybe. But he looks like he's, I don't know, 238. You know what I mean? But just fucking southern. Ain't nobody stealing from them registers.

great guy great you get a wife and a this is what scares me I remember his wife having a baby I'll get there and she'll be working behind the bar of the daughter you know I'll be what's what's Gina four or five years old no that's her serving the yeah that's her serving the table six what holy moly okay let's move on

to this fire chief fired shocking video shows a long island fire chief berating a 10 year old girl they did an updated story on this today. Of course they had to get the grandmothers and I'm pretty sure, yeah, it's black because she brought up a racial component angrily telling

so the fire chief as they're loading the girl into the ambulance, we'll show it to you, told her to shut the fuck up while she was strapped to a stretcher and being lifted into an ambulance during an emergency call. Not the what do they call it? Not a good look.

Optics not good as they say. Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up! Guy had an English accent. He lives in North Babylon. Oh, he does live in North. That was a fucking stab in the dark. North Babylon fire chief, Peter Alt has been stripped of his duties while an investigation is underway following outrage over the viral TikTok video posted Monday. We're going to show it and then I'll put it in context for you. Yes, it's going to look horrible. but when you put it in context it's almost understandable

at least from my point of view I know in your little candy-coated world you're never supposed to raise your voice to anybody, any kids even when they're on a gurney my dad didn't live in that world let's check out the video

Sound the fuck off. Sound like a manager yelling at an ump. Sound like a manager yelling at an ump. I want to go home. I don't like the kid already. Can I just say something? And when you're a fire chief, is that how you go to work on a t-shirt

and fucking cargo shorts? What the fuck's that about? Anyways, that's the video. And of course, all hell breaks, Luke's. That must be a good feeling. He goes home and he's all over the end. The fire company does not condone, oh, here we go with this speech from, you know,

you don't condone yelling at kids on a stretcher? What are you, a sucky conund? The fire company does not condone this behavior and deems it unacceptable. All the 22-year-old veteran of the North Babylon volunteer fire company was one of the first responders on the call Monday night in West Babylon after the girl's family called, now we get into the roots of it, for help to calm the child down, her grandmother said. I wonder where the mom was.

A concerned neighbor recorded the chief verbally berating her. And I think, is this the grandmother talking? Is this the grandmother talking? When you call for help, the police, the fire department, they're supposed to help you, or hep you, not treat you like garbage and curse at a child at that. You see how they can't put anything in contact. The concerned grandmother said her daughter called the police.

Oh, the daughter called on her granddaughter after she had taken away the child's phone, causing her to become emotionally distressed. what's the idea get upstairs I don't want to go upstairs fuck out why are you calling the fire department

because your kid's throwing a tantrum number one oh that's right you vote Democratic I can tell from certain demographics and you believe government's supposed

to do everything for you that's your fucking problem that the kid has emotional problems take it to a shrink and this isn't the first time this guy's been called out there. Matter of fact, I think it says later on numerous times. So I understand his frustration. I understand it.

Am I condoning it? No, but I can understand it. It's like cops, sometimes somebody will call 911, like 400 times in one day, and they have to go out legally. And that's not going to make you a little ugly. And again, the reason that this is even debatable, we have to have a debate, is why we're doing. as a species.

She added that the family has called first responders in the past to deal with a child, but the personnel have always been understanding with her granddaughter. Yeah, therein lies the problem. After like the third call, you should go, you know what, we're not coming. Who is it? Aisha again? She lose her weave this time. What do you want from us?

Get the kid under control. And you can see that's exactly what that was. He's been out there before. Are you really taking his side? Yeah, I am. And I hope he gets his fucking job back. The more I talk about it. And if not, give him a gun.

Let him sit in front of a school. See, some kid giving shit about volleyball. I'm just saying, anybody else with me? Am I the only one living in this fucking world? Anyways, let's move on. Kane says he's able. You like that one? come on come on that was a cute one you got to admit i could write headlines for the post

jason gave me a kind of eye roll actor dean kane a now i like this guy i've always liked this guy this guy played princeton play football of princeton strong safety actually play get drafted by the buffalo bills and actually played maybe a few pretty blue his knee out but it's pretty good when you get picked up by an NFL team doesn't that It doesn't happen much out of Princeton. So that's a tough guy. Actor Dean Cain announced, despite the fucking faggy suit he's wearing here, announced Tuesday that he joined U.S. immigration and customs enforcement.

Why do you just call that ICE so I don't fucking read that? To support President Trump's mass deportation efforts to help save America. Kane, 59 years old, who played Clark Kent on ABC's Lois and Clark. Boy, I was glued to that show. what? Although Terry Hatcher was a piece of the new adventures of Superman as opposed to the old ones

when he used to beat up Lois and drink heavily and snort coke off her tits. Alongside Terry Hatches Lois Lane from 1993 to 1997 shared the shocking news. Why is it shocking news? In a recruitment style video on social media while urging others

to join him in booting illegal migrants from the country. And I God bless, here he is. Still a hump. Hey, everybody, Dean Cain here. Hi, Dean. For those who don't know, I am a sworn

law enforcement officer as well as being a filmmaker. Hold on, pause. We didn't know you were a filmmaker. Maybe that we knew the office law thing. Who the fuck know you'll make a movie? Can you name one? All right, go ahead.

With our first responders to help secure the safety of all Americans, not just talk about it. That's fascist, man. And here's your opportunity to join ICE. You can earn lots of great benefits. Balls on this prick. Since President Trump took office, ICE has arrested hundreds of thousands of criminals.

All in one Toyota. Rapists, murderers, pedophiles, MS-13 gang members, drug traffickers, you name it, very dangerous people who are no longer on the streets. You can defend your homeland and get great benefits like a 15th. $80,000 signing bonus. Think about that. Student loan repayment legally, enhanced retirement benefits, and special pay for those in the field operations and law enforcement. Do you get that? I don't get that special pay. But you also don't need an undergraduate degree. You can get to work right away. So if you want to help save America, ICE is arresting the worst of the worst and removing them from America's streets. That's right, brother man. Good for him. I'm not doing it. I've got a bad back.

I could be very effective now that I think about it. These comedy clubs? How many legal's in the kitchen? I walk in there. Can I get some chicken fingers behind you? Get down. So, first of all, I don't like guys like this that a good look. He was voted like in 1997.

is, you know, 40th, sexiest guy in the car, whatever. Good looking guy, and also goes to Princeton, and he's a fucking great athlete. Enough of that shit already. Where's the kid from DeVry with a limp who went Division 19 and failed miserably? Commenters were quick to note that Kane, this is why the Internet is great, is 22 years over the federal agency's maximum recruitment age of 37, casting doubt on the legitimacy of his latest public reveal. What the fuck are you?

Are you writing a book? What the fuck are you? Only people on the internet would complain. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure they can make an exception. And of course I saw this on one of the shows yesterday, and the liberal on the panel goes, that's how bad it's going.

But nobody wants to work for ICE. They have to start hiring them. No, no, you dope. It's because 20 million illegals poured into this country. under your fucking hero. That's why they need more. And people resigned. Obviously. So I don't know what you're talking about.

But good. I'm glad Dean Cain's doing. And somebody else just signed up too. Who was it? Oh, boy. I can't. Oh, no, he's dead. Who else?

Somebody else just signed up. up. Be Arthur. She's dead. All my references. I was going to say Lou Dobbs. He's gone. Ozzy? Anyways, Kane in response to one critic who snarked about the age limit said, perhaps we'll get that changed. He's Superman, man. Who's so good to change? The fuck's the matter with you. Finally tonight and finally for the week before I leave. Let's get Cracken. That is the name of the Seattle hockey team in the NHL. It's only a few years old. Seattle Cracken forward.

I had never heard Cracken until remember Trump, the woman lawyer, brought up Cracken. Seattle Cracken forward John Hayden and the team's mascot. This was fucking, these optics were hilarious. Had an uncomfortably close call with nature recently after a grizzly bear charged in their direction

during a recent photo shoot in Alaska. The team mascot, Bowie, is that right? A Cracken's a kind of a creature with a bunch of arms. Why a buoy? Just like why Wally? Jesus Christ. Oh my God. What are we 11?

The team mascot buoy joined Hayden on a promotional fly fishing trip in Catamai National Park while promoting youth hockey. Things were going just fine until the bear appeared and began charging at them. And it gets a little hairy at the end here. Check it out. Oh, my God. Now right there, I'm in the parking lot crying in a fetal position. To me, that's the scariest way to die by bear.

Either that or by Dominican Hooker. Look. Look. I want to blame it on three. They're pretty interested in this. This isn't even. They're not trying to be funny. We got out of it okay, but.

Look at the fucking bear. A close call. Can we blame the bear? The bear's like, get that fucking thing out of here. The bear was protecting the humans from that thing. How the hell are you blaming the bear? That's my worst nightmare. I'm fly fishing and I'm dressed like Wally.

The Red Sox mascot, and a bear starts to chase me up real. Because, you know, those costumes absorb the water, and it gets heavy. Look at that picture. I was looking at it going, is this AI shit? This is friggin. A couple of years ago, kid, remember three, four guys, kids, young guys, in the woods in Jersey, a bear shows up. Three of them got away in this Indian kid. I mean young in their 20s got eaten by the...

How in fuck's name? It's got to run faster than the next guy. I know. How about piggyback? You can't even really run up a tree. Fucking bears climb right up that motherfucker. You run into a river. I've seen them water skiing and shit.

It is. You can't get away? But can you imagine you got that thing on you and it smells like, you know, holy fucking moly. While the incident was no doubt terrifying for those on the scene, Cracken Partnership Marketing Director, Melissa O'Brockta,

who recorded the encounter from shore, says she wasn't overly concerned. And then she changed her shorts and rinsed them in the river, Kwai. She said, bears are everywhere at Brooks Falls, and I was raped as a child, so this does fucking nothing for me. I could kick that bear's ass.

I'm a cranky bitch since I turned to women. for love. Keeper. They're all super used to seeing humans, so I wasn't scared. A little bit. They're used to seeing humans. Yeah. They make it a point when you wander into their yard.

And they also find humans, I heard, very delicious and high in fiber, protein, and Ignorance. Well, that's the show, boys and girls, and that's the show, the last one for the week. And again, I hope to see you guys if you're in the Tampa area. Yes, sir. I forgot so. Oh, see what happens as I stop at the end of the story. The live lineup, again, before you go, I don't know how you wouldn't know this.

Monday through Friday, starting at 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern Time, you get all these shows for free, I believe. Is it right, though? It's a great lineup. Rumble put this together. Rumble's one of the few places you can say a lot of stuff, believe it or not. It should be the way on the Internet, but as you know, people like YouTube have to ruin it. So you got Crowder, you got Tim Poole, it's a great lineup. So make sure you check that out.

What was I talking about? Tampa, yes. Hope to see you guys at Tampa, the tomorrow night or Saturday night. I always have a lot of fun down there and there's usually a creepy couple of goals you want to come back to the hot tub it happens in Tampa all it's so funny I was telling other comedians that

and then I was sitting at the comedy cellar one night and I hear Artie Lang going yeah I was at side split as this couple ass isn't that really Tampa that's kind of a Tampa it makes sense doesn't it if I wasn't married I would have been right in there This guy was handsome. All right, that's it.

You guys think it, I'll say. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take care, everybody. Hi. Good night, everybody. Hey, hey, I saved the world today.

And everybody's happy now the bad thing's gone away. And everybody's happy love The good things here to stay Please let it stay Hey, hey I saved the world today Everybody's happy Now the bad things fall away

Everybody's happy now The good thing is staying Please let me You let it to feel more connected to humanity and a little less alone listen to beautiful anonymous each week i take a phone call from one random anonymous human being there's over 400 episodes in our back catalog you get to feel connected to all these different people all over the world recent episodes include one where a lady survived a murder attempt by her own son but then the week before that we just

talked about star trek it can be anything it's unpredictable it's raw it's real get beautiful anonymous wherever you listen to podcasts