The Nick DiPaolo Show - Barr Fight! | Nick Di Paolo Show #442

Episode Date: November 10, 2020

Barr opens door for election investigations. Trump takes a late W with Covid Vaccine. Truckers plan a strike across America.

I want to get something off my chest that's very important to me right now, okay? Very important to me. So many of you people have sent me emails, messages on social media asking me to come to perform in your town, which I'd love to do. I've been getting these from everywhere. I'm talking everywhere. New York, Florida, Oregon, Vermont, whatever, Montana. People all over.

Not only that, Alaska. And people in countries like Canada and Australia and the UK. And I can't tell you how much that means to me. You know, I'm an international star, apparently. Stand up has always been my bread and butter. You know that. So not being able to tour during this pandemic, knowing it's a fucking has been brutal. Ask my wife. She's getting out of the shelter this week. It's been brutal. I had so much new material going into March, which makes

it even that much tougher. I wish I could come to all of your towns and countries, but I can't. My jet's not working, especially now that they're shutting everything down due to COVID. Anyways, on Saturday, November 21st, write it down. Saturday, November 21st. I've got a show at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. The audience size will be limited to about 250 people, live people there. But I'm also going to be bringing in a full crew to do a three camera shoot of this show and we will live stream it so you people who don't get to see me are going to get to see me doing what i do best

we'll be micing the audience and doing uh we're going to do it all in one live take so it's going to be really fun i can't wait to do this i want it might be the new way we have comics live now i don't know i want all of you, no matter where you are, to be able to watch and have a live stand-up comedy experience. Watching stand-up live, it's like rock and roll. It's the only way to do it, really. It's best live, especially me, because I have no fucking idea when I go out to do what I'm going to do that night. I kind of. I have an outline, but you don't know. I could punch a waiter on the back of the head if he interrupts me. This will be streaming on the Watch Live Now network.

And tickets just went on sale. WatchLiveNow.com. That's WatchLiveNow.com. You can watch on your home TV or any other device through Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, or Android TV. And I just found out today that even if you can't watch it live, if you still get the stream, it's available to you for another week. So, you know, if you're wherever,

you're not going to get up to watch me at four in the morning. You're going to have it for a week, which is excellent. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I've played this room before. It's excellent. People, let's say in Ireland who have never been to Vegas can see what an actual showroom looks like. I'm looking forward to this. I really hope you all be there for the live stream. Again, you can get tickets at watchlivenow.com and I'll add this to my website also at nickdip.com please make plans to join me live from vegas on saturday november 21st i cannot friggin wait guitar solo Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's how I'm a day again.

How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show. Tuesday, coming to you from the great state of Georgia, formerly great state. I don't know what the fuck's going on down here. As Nicholson said to the black judge in a few good minutes, I don't know what kind fuck's going on down here As Nicholson said to the black judge In a few good minutes I don't know what kind of operation you're running

You will address the court as your majesty I know I've earned it Okay we get it Black judge Rob Reiner Shut your fucking hole What's going on folks how are you Great to be with you. I didn't shave.

Jesus Christ. White facial hair. I used to never shave, you know? You fucking nice dark shadow. How do I fucking look like a cheesy? Anyways. I don't like that look. That's faggot stuff.

I agree, man. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Hello? Hello? Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? name that's strictly for fags yeah i agree i agree hello hello hello hello hello uh hope you're not sensitive because this show just uh we don't care about sensitivity we're trying to get rid of it it's what brought the country down female sensitivity i'm good you know what i wet my ass with your feelings exactly my dad said that three times a week to me dad but i I feel that I'll wipe my ass when you're feeling. I don't know why my dad sounded black with that impression. That'd be

funny and whatnot. You know you want crazy motherfucking walk, man. Hey, did you watch the game last night real quick? Pats, Jets? You know, Jets were winless and shit and the Pats, you know. Can I just clear up the page?

My friends go, what's with the Pats? Listen, you dopes. They had more starters opt out because of COVID. All right? They should be O in whatever the Jets are, to be honest with you. But actually a great game. What the fuck's his name? Cam Newton.

Actually, he blew the game last week. He drove him about 80 yards for a winning field goal or whatever. Anyways, who gives a fuck? Let's get right to the Pfizer vaccine. Because we all need one. Because you know this thing's spreading like a common cold. And you know why it's spreading like a common cold? It is a common cold. And you know why it's spreading like a common cold? It is a common cold.

Unless you're a fat fuck from China or a minority who lives on fucking Skittles and fucking Popeyes. That's who's getting hurt. People in their late 90s. I'll repeat it again. From age one to 69, you have a 0.0014 chance of dying from this.

This is absolute horseshit. I will continue to say it. Tommy, you edit this. I will be at your fucking house in Albany tomorrow. I'll have to leave right now. Anyways, Pfizer says an early peek at its vaccine data suggests the shots may be 90% effective. What does that mean? 10% of the people died?

At preventing COVID-19, indicating the company is on track later this month to file an emergency use application with U.S. regulators. You know what this is about. Give me the money, you understand me? Give me the fucking money, you hear me? You hear me? I got to come here and me the money. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me? I gotta come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. That's the head of Pfizer talking to the fucking FDA. Oh, look

at this. There's the vaccine. It's nice urine color. That delicious. But you know, we knew they had this shit. Of course, the Dems don't give a fuck. Pelosi's holding back money, right? Remember, you people are waiting for money.

Your personal business is a fold in small businesses. But she has stuff in there about men having their periods and money for men having abortion in the fucking bill that has to do with COVID. And that's why the Republicans didn't take a walk, you douche. So they don't give a fuck about the people. Monday's announcement doesn't mean a vaccine is imminent uh this interim analysis from an independent data monitoring board looked at 94 infections recorded so far in a study that has enrolled nearly 44 000 people uh the u.s and five countries, these people from, were in a position potentially to be able to offer some hope. Dr. Phil McGraw, what? Dr. Bill Gruber,

Pfizer's Senior Vice President of Clinical Development, told the AP, we're very encouraged. I knew it was from the AP, just by the little, it's not going to help anybody yet. Authorities have stressed it's unlikely any vaccine will arrive much before the end of the year and limited initial supplies will be rationed. Why? But you don't have opening? No. But why not? Diabetes fever. Well, you don't have a vaccine, but why not? Volunteers in the final stages of

studies and the researchers don't know who received the real vaccine or a dummy shot named after Biden elect. But a week after this, their second required dose Pfizer study began counting the number who developed covid-19 symptoms and were confirmed to have the coronavirus. Because the study hasn't ended, Gruber couldn't say how many in each group had infections doing the math that would mean almost all the infections counted so far had to have occurred in people who got the dummy pill so that's uh encouraging i'm guessing a placebo and a dummy pillow the same thing when do we start calling a dummy oh that's right. When the ruling class treats us like shit. Hey, dummy, how do you feel? I feel great.

We gave you a bucking sugar capsule, dummy. Pfizer doesn't plan to stop its study until it records 164 infections among all the volunteers. A number that the FDA has agreed is enough to tell how well the vaccine is working. The agency has made it clear that any vaccine must be at least 50%. Yeah, I would hope 50% effective. Jesus, that's a high bar. What's taking so long?

If it's only 50%? Can't wait to hear the side effect. You know what you're going to do? You're going to take this shit and you're going to be laying on the couch in about five years and three in the morning and some lawyer is going to come on. Did you take the COVID vaccine? You or a loved one back in 2020, 2021, take the Pfizer COVID?

If so, call us now. Are you bleeding from your ass and eyes? Do you have ringing in your ears? Constant yeast infections, cold sores, lumps on your neck. Call us now. Jacobian Myers.

No participant so far has become severely ill, Gruber said, nor could he provide breakdown of how many of the infections had occurred in older people who are at highest risk. Who cares?

They've gone on a few years. Nick, that's very, I know. It's very easy for me to say, all my grandparents have been dead forever. FDA has required that U.S. vaccine candidates be studied in at least 30,000 people in addition to adequate numbers of older adults.

Those studies must also include other groups at high risk, including, you know, people of color, Indians, Asians, Greeks, hairy Polacks, all kinds of people with chronic health problems. And it told companies they must track half their participants for side effects for at least two months. Jesus Christ, we'll see this shit around. The time period when problems typically crop up. Jesus Christ, we'll see this shit around Easter. The time period when problems typically crop up. Pfizer expects to reach that milestone later this month,

but said Monday, no serious safety concerns have been reported so far. Well, that's all good news, is it not? Here's my glasses. Look, they're broken. Look, guys're broken. Look, I fucking nerd. What did I do? Forget the. Anyhow, I see that was from yesterday. All right, let's fucking move on, I guess. Oh, wait a minute. Trump had a reaction, of course. Reacted on Twitter, claiming the FDA and Pfizer withheld the announcement until after the election for political purposes.

And you know what? He says, as long as ever, I've said it a long time, Pfizer and the others would only announce the vaccine after the election because they didn't have the courage to do it before. That's all right, though. That's all right. I'm a winner. Likewise, the U.S. FDA should have announced it earlier, not for political purpose,

but for saving lives, for fuck's sake, he said. I believe it. And how can you argue with that? This guy has been contested at every turn since he's come down that escalator. And you know what? He's always right when he calls people out on their bullshit.

Nick, oh, come on. Shut your fucking hole. If Joe Biden, he said, there's another tweet where president, you wouldn't have the vaccine for another four years. Nor would he be putting it in his insure. Nor would the FDA have ever approved it so quickly. The bureaucracy would have destroyed millions of lives. And it's true. He's got business connect.

You know what I mean? He's doing the warp speed program, which is what my wife calls our sex. Listen, folks, I... What else? Any other tweets? The U.S., the fda and the democrats didn't want to have me to get a vaccine win prior to the election so instead it came up five days later as i've said all along and he did say it all along he really is smarter than any you so-called elitist

jerk-offs on the left you know? Because you wouldn't last a minute. Remember Tyson? Mike Tyson at that press conference about 20 years ago. You wouldn't last a fucking second in my world, white boy. You wouldn't last a second in Trump's world when he was a developer, okay?

He deals with lying cocksuckers all the time his whole life. I'm not saying he doesn't drop a few either, but I'm just saying. I mean, how could he be wrong? He's given the thumbs up. Jesus Christ. Arthur Fonzarelli. So, but I do believe that they held the shit back, you know? And by the way, we're getting to that in a few. And if I hear one more goddamn station or read one more story when they say Trump and the Republicans want to recount on this,

they have all baseless allegation. You lying, motherless fucks. You all share from the same paper, the NBC, ABC, CBS, New York Times. You all get your notes. You get your marching orders, the AP, and you all say the same thing every day. That's the thing. Unsubstantiated claims of fraud. Are you dog styling me? Unsubstantiated? More than a third of registered voters believe Donald Trump legitimately

won the presidential election, according to a new Adjust the News Daily poll with Scott Rasmussen seen here. I'd like to believe this guy's polls, but I don't believe in his necktie. So I don't. What the fuck's going on there? It's a yellow dick on his chest. Less than half of all respondents, 49% believe that Joe... What are we doing? What's going on right now? Biden legitimately won the race, while 34% say they believe Trump won the election,

and 16% said they are not sure who really won. And those would be lefties who just can't handle the fucking truth. That's a lot of people. A third of... But we shouldn't have recounts, right, when we have all this evidence. Are you shitting me? Nobody's believing this.

Can I just say something? I should have done this at the top of the show. If he ends up the president, fucking Biden, you talk about, you want to see resistance? Because it's already building. You know there was protests last night, like all over the place, Trump people. Not my president, Joe Biden,

not anybody's president right now. Certainly not mine, whether you fucking win this thing or not. Well, obviously if you lose it, you're not my president, but even if you win it, you're not my fucking president. You stole it. Matter of fact, if you didn't steal it, I'd still say that

because i want to treat him the same way they treated uh trump for the last four years you're not my president and you're not going to be around much longer i don't think you look that healthy got my fingers crossed a republican responded 77 said they think Trump is the legitimate winner, while just 12% of Republicans believe that Biden is the winner. Yeah, they all work at Fox News, apparently. The legitimate winner. About a quarter of independent voters also said they believe Trump won.

Oh, my God, What a mess, huh? What a fucking mess. A quarter of independent voters also said they believe Trump is the winner. And then this person said this. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. That was Rubio.

Among Democrats, lying, stealing, cocksuckers, the criminal enterprise aka known as the Democrat Party, 87% think that Biden is the winner. Do you really? Do you really? Do you really? You're fucking crazy.

You can't handle the truth. What fraud? Oh, all the shit that they're, and that's the other thing they're going with no, it's all baseless claims. It takes a while to put all the evidence together, you jerk. See how they're trying to shove him through so fast? They fucking know.

Rasmussen then noted that the survey was conducted from Thursday night until Saturday early afternoon this past weekend. During the time of this survey, no television network or other news source had formally called the race for Biden. Oh, that was like during the week of the election. Okay.

The survey was comprised of 1200 registered voters and conducted by scott rasmussen he walked around at a mall with a clipboard and just asked random now he did that on november 5th through the 7th so it was the week of the uh election all right and they already knew something smelled like uh dog shit it's a theft it's highway robbery man i i from what i'm reading i don't see how trump loses again i mean uh but jesus and the one that sent up the red flag to me was being up 700,000 votes on election night. And then all of a sudden he's down by 20 and 48 hours later. Are you fucking kidding me?

Don't you know how to cheat? Jesus Christ. Call Belichick. No. I think it's time we change Lombardi Trophy to the Belichick Trophy. Trump planning more rallies. This one got my peepee a little hard. He's going to do more rallies.

He loves it. This guy should be a comedian. He'll be on the road 48 weeks a year. Just sucking it up. Donald Trump's presidential campaign plans a series of campaign rallies to boost attention to his legal challenge of the 2020 election. Axios reports that President Trump's campaign will announce specific recount teams in Arizona, Pennsylvania and Georgia and prepare to rally supporters to their legal challenge. I'm loving it.

I am your voice. Best president ever. Did you just say that, Nick? Yeah. I don't give a fuck if he's got a shitty personality. Every promise he's made, he's come through on. Except a little slow with the wall. I should have been electrified. I was expecting flamethrowers and shit. You know what I mean? President Trump plans to brandish, he's going to brand, get this. I don't know who came up with this. It's got to be Giuliani. Very ghoulish. President Trump plans to brandish, brandish, excuse me, obituaries of people who supposedly

voted but are dead. He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. I know, but he still voted. Plus hold campaign style rallies in an effort to prolong his fight against apparent, insurmountable election results. Four Trump advisors told me during a conference call this afternoon, they're going to go and do these fucking rallies. You think the rallies were big during... I'm excited to see what the turnout's going to be for these.

I mean, he did get 70 million votes he draws better than frampton didn't in 1977 when that album came out this guy ain't playing yo uh what we're hearing obituaries for those who cast ballots are part of the specific pieces of evidence aimed at bolstering the Trump team's so far unsupported claims of widespread voter fraud. Unsupported? They're making their case, you fucking jerk-offs. You think it's unsupported? We got people on camera. We have people who have signed affidavits who worked at the polling booths well so what do you mean what is your definition of unsupported i i honestly i don't and all the left-wing mainstream media are using that unsupported unsupported yes jason they're just playing the semantic game because that's technically not untrue uh to say it's

disproven or not to say it's disputed and to say it's unsupported it's it's not untrue but that also doesn't mean that it's disproven so that's why they're using yeah they're playing well that's what they do you're right they do well that that i mean that's the definition of political correctness by the way when you manipulate people's behavior through language. Because language does what? Comes out of your thoughts. Then they control your skull. Can't penetrate mine, though.

Too much beer at the university of Maine. I think it actually hurt me up there, my intelligence. Showed up there, a nice bright-eyed fucking senior from high school. Two years later, just, oh my God, barley and oats. Unsupported claims of widespread voter fraud and corruption that they said led to Joe Biden's victory. Fueling the effort is the expected completion of vote counting this week, allowing Republicans to file for more recounts. Good for them.

Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. Oh, that was Kemp. What's next? Team Trump is ready to announce specific recount teams in key states, and it plans to hold a series of Trump rallies focused on the litigation.

Litigation. Not for nothing. The fuck? We were up 10 large in Georgia, no? I wake up this morning, we're down two small T. What do you want me to do? In Georgia, Doug Collins, the outgoing congressman who lost to Senator Kelly Loeffler, she's the one that had the gun in her, I think, in her commercials and shit, in a special election to fill former Senator Johnny Isakson's seat,

will be leading the campaign. Isakson's going back to his job as a bass player for fucking Tower of Power. I don't know. Will be leading the campaign's recount efforts. The team has also redeployed 92 staffers from Florida to Georgia. It's like college guys playing football. They jump from one, doubling its group on the ground. In Arizona, Corey Langhofer, seen here, former counsel for Trump 2016 transition team.

I don't know how you didn't even know there was spying going on. I don't have the faith in this guy. Will serve as the lead attorney. In Pennsylvania, what are they going to do? Porter writes, Ron Hicks is heading up the legal effort. Nationwide, they're assembling additional surrogates and lawyers. Okay, so this thing, in my opinion, is not over. And if you think it is, kiss my grits.

Never surrender. Who was that, Brian Adams or one of those faggy? Do we have another picture of trump i mean there's you know seven million of online it's giving me a headache with that fucking thumb trump's former legal team there you go i like that one better that's him at thanksgiving telling ivana to pull his finger trump's formal legal team includes 2020 campaign manager Bill Stepien, lawyer Justin Clark, he's good, and senior advisor Jason Miller and David Bossie, who we had on the show. Remember, he was plugging a book. He's a senior advisor. He's from East Boston. If he's on it, I feel good

because these Boston guys, these are guineas that don't play. You know what I'm saying? Reps Jim Jordan, Scott Perry, as well as former White House chief of staff, Rince Priebus, are also advising. Wow. He's bringing everybody out. Here's the problem, folks. And I'll blame the Democrats for this, too. Biden came out and you call him president elect and shit. And, you know, because the rest of the country's going, oh, Trump, sour grapes, blah, blah. But if Trump does, what if Trump does end up, I'm not saying he is, we don't know, what if he does, after the recount,

take the lead and become, get reelected? What now? You know what now. Stock up on ammunition and cans of beans and shit because you think they were pissed after george floyd and again the evidence will be right there but they will ignore it because the left uses their emotion they don't think linear they don't want to know the truth they hated him so much they literally got irrational collective irrationality. I think I just made that up.

But seriously, you can expect some wild shit to go on. Calling all white supremacists, calling all white supremacists. 305 Eric. I'm just kidding. We don't want any of that. I just want Trump to be president again. Well, what didn't you like about him as a president? What bugged you? Was it the low taxes? Was it the strongest economy on the planet?

What was it? Him crushing ISIS exactly? What was it? Him creating enough ventilators for the world? What exactly bugged you about him? Him shooting a couple of terrorists? Blowing them up? What exactly don't you like? Opening negotiations with North Korea? Oh, but he was loud and obnoxious and grabs women's pussies. That's where I bought it from. The loud part, not the pussy part.

That's just dirty pool. that's just dirty pool. Although I'll tell you, that Lulu lemon you're wearing, it's like an advertisement to have you snatch grabbed. Am I right, folks? Who's with me? Raise your filthy middle finger. William Barr, seen here. Someone saved my life tonight. I remember those eastern light muggy nights. Curtains

drawn in the little room downstairs. No, you should have been there sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair Put up the real one Can't tell me they're not related Go back to Fruit Cup You're gonna tell me they're not related? Are you fucking kidding me? Goodbye yellow brick road With the dogs of society

How? You can't grip me in your hand. I'm going back to my plow. Back to... Anyways, Elton John, Attorney General Elton John slash Bill Barr authorized federal prosecutors to investigate allegations of voting irregularities

in the 2020 election on Monday, despite, here we go, here comes the phrase from every article, despite little evidence. Now, how about that one, Jace? They're wrong there, right? Little evidence? I mean, at least they're conceding that there is evidence. Yeah, well, it's not little. If you had two people admitting

they saw fraud, that's a huge story, at least if it was a Democrat being the victim of it. Despite little evidence, little evidence, meaning people on camera changing votes, James O'Keefe talking to a guy in Detroit, the postmaster that worked there, other people signing affidavits saying they're supposed to stamp stamp shit, you know, after it came in late, you know, little evidence of voting fraud in the contest. That phrase is making me nuts. You need to shut the fuck up. In a memo sent by Barr Monday evening, he said Justice Department prosecutors could investigate specific allegations over fraud before the election results are certified in December. The memo, which critics see as the Department of Justice wading into the U.S. election, prompted the resignation of a deep stater, in my opinion.

I'm going to give the news the way they do. Richard Pilger. He was in charge of counting the votes. That's what he does at the DOJ. And he resigned immediately. And I can tell by looking at him that he's a deep state half a fruit cup. It's a judgment call and I'm making it, but I would like to meet the girl on the left. That's a pretty face.

So he resigned. The official who oversees voter fraud allegations for the department he's a deep stater i guarantee it we should look into his history but it's not that kind of show bye-bye dickhead uh well we actually have i guess we should have showed the fucking story first days but whatever go ahead overnight attorney general william bar in the justice department memo authorizing u.s attorneys to pursue substantial allegations of voting irregularities tell this guy to drop his fucking fm voice it's like that guy in fox that does all the brought no it's espn brought

to you by it's he's over doing it okay let dickhead tom say find them just hours after bar's announcement the top justice department official in charge of investigating voter fraud quit in a memo to colleagues obtained by nbc news richard pilger suggesting his resignation was a result of bar's actions the senate's top republican defending the president president trump is 100 percent within his rights to look into allegations of irregularities and weigh his legal options and weigh his legal options i'm mr o'connell i am paralyzed from the upper lip down legal options. I'm Mr. McConnell. I am paralyzed from the upper lip down or the lower lip up.

I don't know. Another thumbs up guy. What a silly looking goose he is. But you know what? He's a fucking good politician. To last that, we don't like career politicians here, but I'm saying this guy is opposed. He's been in the majority. He's been in the minority. And his lips, though. The president has 100% to find out what these cocksuckers was trying to steal. Now, listen to me. Boy, I'll tell you, the way them horses are resting around, I think a big storm's a-brewing. Boy, I hate to see those two go at it that was uh walter brunette he's in every movie he always played the hillbilly boy i'll tell you something look at the size of those two guys hey did you see them two go at it look at what a silly duck uh president trump and his personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani, have repeatedly made broad allegations of voter fraud in a number of states,

but have not provided, here we go, here's the phrase, not provided evidence for their claims. They're putting it together. It's called putting a case together. Do you understand? Even if they didn't, we have enough shit on the internet

to hang three of you motherfuckers nick watch your mouth it's a new show no it's not hey when's uh fucking trevor noah gonna say something funny what a fucking joke huh somebody yeah well he's a fucking black guy gonna give to give him a free ride at Comedy Central. Doesn't have a funny bone in his fuck. And he's a nice guy. Met him at the Comedy Cell a few times. Sorry. Or maybe his writers stink. Fucking. Biden is leading Trump, according to this jerk off.

Trump in Arizona and Georgia states that he will have flipped Democratic if he's ultimately victorious. Yeah, he's going to flip him if he cheats. He doesn't even know what's going on. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Joe, just get back in your wheelchair. We're going to flip a few states for you, okay? You'll be the winner.

We'll tell you. Finish your bingo, you shithead. You look stupid. Hey, folks, and I am excited about this listen up very important november 20 and 21 especially november 21 that's a saturday night i'll be at the plaza in las vegas saturday at the saturday night show will be a live streamed all over the world show. You can watch on your computer, Roku, Apple TV, Android TV, or Amazon Fire TV. To get tickets for the stream live show, go to watchlivenow.com. That's watchlivenow.com. It's going to be fucking great. Live comedy experience. And again,

I'm doing this because a ton of people every day for years. You don't come to Billings, Montana. You don't come to Alaska. I don't like to fly. I've been doing it 33 years. Why don't you come to my house? I'll make you a nice sandwich. Then tomorrow we go on a diet.

Have more sandwiches. Okay, so again, 1121. It'll be live from Vegas. I get people in the UK and Ireland fans who maybe have never been to Vegas. You'll get to see what the inside of the showroom's like. You know, I don't care. And I think there's already a couple hundred tickets sold for the live show. People actually at the show.

I don't care if there's 10 people. I'll still make you laugh. I plan on having seven, eight drinks and eviscerating every thick-ankled dog face on the left and throwing other jokes in. Also, I announced last week my new platform will be thecomicsgym, gym like G-Y-M, dot com. Thecomicsgym.com, and I'll be able to say whatever the fuck I want, and you're probably going, you don't do that now? No, I haven't touched the surface of my ugliness. I'll be able to do it without big tech in my way. I'll be making the changeover between this Thursday

when the site launches through the end of the year. You can sign up now for free at thecomicsgym.com. And lastly, I want to thank all you guys and girls who have contributed to the show. As you know, your contributions keep us going. There's no bullshit about that. And keep the show free. So we thank you guys very much for that.

Excuse me. Let me take a sip of this dog shit. Come here. One-time contribution since yesterday. Captain Clint Hefner. He just got moved up. He was a lieutenant. He's in Ohio.

Gina and Mike Teramagara. Paul Sagnella, who's on this thing every day. Connecticut, thank you. My buddy Casey Armstrong, New York. Robert Gross, Ohio, and he is not gross. He's contributing to the show. Thank you guys very much for allowing me to do what I do do. I cannot wait to go on a diet, mother of God. Little Debbie's little debbie's calling my name at midnight hey nick those handlebars look a little small i mean handlebars you mean love handles yeah she's dumb little debbie little debbie we told we're gonna change the name to big nicks

they're about 230 have you ever had a little it's like i can't i don't want to be graphic it's like eating a a nice delicious dessert let's get to a delicious city detroit detroit election whistleblower for you people who don't know what a whistleblower is that's somebody who comes forward when they see corruption where they're working and shit. Maybe they have to pixelate their face so they don't get in trouble or fuck up their voice, you know, but they come forward. We need whistleblowers. This person worked in Detroit. A Detroit elections worker has alleged that she directly observed, that's in quotes, fellow election workers in the city coach voters to cast their ballots for Joe Biden,

according to a new affidavit. She signed the legal document saying so. Do you understand? I don't know nothing about that. Oh, you do, too. You're lying, fucking person. The affidavit, which was posted to Twitter by GOP spokesperson Elizabeth Arrington, outlines. Hey, Liz, what up? You look like Laura Ingram's bastard. Whatever. Outlines claims made by Jesse Jacob, a Detroit elections worker during the 2020 presidential election. And this is what Jesse Jacob said. I directly observed on a daily basis, city of Detroit election workers and employees

coaching and trying to coach voters to vote for Joe Biden. I wonder what color these people were. And the Democrat Party, Jacob alleges in the affidavit. I witnessed these workers and employees encouraging voters to do a straight Democrat ballot. But where's the evidence? I know a thing or two about a straight Democrat ballot. But where's the evidence, huh? What's that? I know a thing or two about a thing or two. She signed an affidavit. You understand? She could get in trouble if she was lying. The affidavit also claims that, I thought,

when I was a kid, I thought it was after David, you know, like. before Christ. And I'm like, who the fuck's David? I don't remember. Oh, Goliath. Yeah, that David. The affidavit also claims that Jacob was instructed by her supervisor to adjust the mailing date of these absentee ballot packages to be dated earlier than they were actually sent. The supervisor was making announcements for all workers to engage in this practice. Are you fucking kidding me? I've given you two days worth of evidence. According to the after David, Jacob worked at the election headquarters in Detroit for most of September, but then was moved to a satellite office in October. The After David also claims that Jacob was instructed by her supervisor, Esther Roll, not to ask for a driver's license or any photo ID when a person was trying to vote. Do you understand why they're so scared of voter IDs now? Do you get it, people? Why the Dems are

all against that and they call it racist? Because they can't pull shit off like this. why the Dems are all against that and they call it racist? Because they can't pull shit off like this. Scheming mothers. And Jacob alleges that she observed a large number of people coming to the satellite location to vote in person, but they had already applied for an absentee ballot. Okay, these people were allowed to vote in person and were not required to return the mail absentee ballot or sign an affidavit that the voter lost the mail's absentee

ballot. Hello, corruption. Unbelievable. Fucking bitch. I know. I feel the same way, Uncle Jew. Harrington also shared several other affidavits on Twitter, which she claimed served as evidence of voter fraud in the state. Harrington wrote in a subsequent tweet, another sworn affidavit from GOP poll watcher Zachary Larson, former assistant AG.

She had seen many ballots scanned that did not register in the poll book, but that were nonetheless still processed. Wow. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. Okay? You don't even need to exist.

You just show up and whatever. I don't know how to vote. It's my fault. We have coaches here. Imagine telling the voters to vote straight Democrat ticket. How long will this go on, though? I mean, they're not going to bring it to Judge Judy next Wednesday and bang this shit out.

What's that? You know, I mean, how long is this going to take? I don't give a fuck until it takes the time and we'll get all the, again, legal votes. I can't wait. We talked about the watermarks on the thing. Remember that guy yesterday, that author, Peisnick, whatever? They said they watermarked all the ballots and shit. That's like a seal that you can't see.

And he was claiming that Trump was ahead of this, thanks to reading Sun Tzu. Find that hard to believe. I'm not saying he doesn't read, but he's like me. He loves TV. He sits on a toilet and tweets. Anyways, I can't wait to see if that's true. He was making it out that Trump fooled them,

that we know exactly where all the real votes are. Wouldn't that be hilarious? In Michigan, there are currently two active lawsuits filed against the state's election results. According to DemocracyDocket.com, Constantino v. Detroit claims several fraud conspiracies in the Michigan election and is asking the state's board of elections to conduct an audit of the election as well as ordering a new election to be held. Mama's home. Trump and his campaign have also filed another lawsuit that attempts to stop the counting of absentee ballots in the state. Wow. What a mess. I mean, we all said we knew it was coming and I joked around on

saying, you're not going to know folks. I think when I was in Tennessee, I said, you're not going to know who, when you go to bed. So don't stay up anyways. Now this next clip, I'm going to show it anyways, but it, it, we but it we we found out it was fucking false and uh it's a kid tearing up a trump vote i'm just gonna show because he took the time to think he was being funny show the fucking mama luke i work at the boat bailouts which means we get your boat and we separate so he works for amazon These votes happen to say, like this one, Donald J. Don Trump. That one

just don't make it towards the mail. All right. Anyways, that was fake. It would have been funny if you could have heard his boss like of the PA system. Tyrone, report to the packaging center, Tyrone. Anyways, we filed out before, you know, on the other, that's

cock-a-poo-poo. Even my sister, you know, it's funny, I sent that to my sister, who makes me look like I'm a left winger. And she goes, is that real? And I just went, yeah. I didn't know. Then I found out that actually favors Trump. We shouldn't

have said anything. I'm going to, I believe, fight fighting fire with fire. I should have lied to you people. Any fucking way. What we got next on this thing? Uh, oh yeah. We had a fan write in yesterday or the day before. I think it was a Philly guy or his friend has a dead relative ballot story.

My friend just found out her dead relative has a verified ballot. If you go to PA election website to check on your ballot and type in Kristen Cercone, C-E-R-C-O-N-E, which we did, right? She was born. She could have voted. She was born November, actually Veterans Day, 1894 in Philadelphia. I want to see what she's eating and drinking. So apparently, you know, dead person voting. You find she has a verified ballot record, 10-30-2020. Oh, my God.

So they're counting that. This is the shit that's going on. But what evidence, huh? What evidence do you have? 10-20-18, born in 1894. I was doing the math. My grampy was born in 1894. I was doing the math. My grampy was born in 1885. Add 15, that brings you to 1900.

You add another 100. Mother of God, he'd be 135. That means I'll be dead in a few minutes if he's been dead that long. He died at the age of 93. Very surprising how he died, too. He had a dirt bike. He was trying to jump pickup trucks.

The true story. Pierre. Pennsylvania poll workers filling out ballots. This clip's been around for a little while. And my take on this is we don't know what she's doing. But the guy who's narrating it apparently thinks he does. I'm just trying to play a little bit fair here. But it sure looks, you know, when you start erasing shit and doing, you know, Facebook, this is why we're going to show it. Facebook has blocked this video, which confirms to me that it's somebody doing something nefarious, benefiting the Democrats, because that's how they roll at Facebook.

But let's take a look at this witch. Trump campaign, quote, election officials are intentionally refusing to allow representatives and poll what? I'm going to send it to Bill. This lady is marking the ballots. Send it to Bill. I filmed her a half hour ago doing six, and she's still working at it.

Let's stamp it, received. And let's fill in our six blanks. One. All at the top of the tickets on each one. Two. Three. Four. Five. Imagine she was just ordering lunch for everybody at the place. Six. And there's a security guard right there who's watching her.

Look at that tub of cheese. The cops are in on it. Oh, my God. Nothing to see here. Please, Pittsburgh. Nothing. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Get the fuck out of here.

What evidence? I was reading the comments under that like a week and a half ago one guy said he supposedly knew what what goes on and said that's not what she's doing she's translating to the guy about he's trans whatever all I know is Facebook found that uh found that pro-Trump that's all that's a litmus test over there. Isn't it unbelievable how they're weighing in now? Unbelievable. You know, the weird thing is, is the poll watchers weren't allowed within six feet, but the people counting can sit that close to each other? Yeah.

No, exactly. You know what else is weird, Jay? Have we done a fucking Patreon question this week? Huh? Oh, we haven't got any? Really? We'll make some up. You guys aren't even sending questions?

What is going on? Here we go. I like these next clips. This is, as you folks know, if you saw the movie Fist, well, Sylvester Stallone, it was about federal interstate trucking, about the unions and Jimmy Hoffa. Pretty good movie, actually, years and years ago. As you know, and it's true, it was true in that movie, it's still true today, that this country would shut down if truckers shut down.

Everything is moved by truck in this country. Everything. truckers uh shut down everything is moved by truck in this country everything um hillary's oatmeal and fucking pancakes and paulie shaw's weed everything jason's tuba he's studying tube trucker look at this truckers are planning a big strike rumor has it that a large number of independent truckers are planning multiple strikes in November during which they'll stop transporting, well, everything. And that could be a lot of fun. All righty then. Considering that our supply chain is already in precariously bad shape, imagine the impact if transport also came to a halt.

There's a group on Facebook. For now, we all know how it goes on Facebook. This is what the person says. Called Stop the Tires Truckers. That is an organization. They're organizing the strike, the trucker strike. As the writing of this article, more than 15,000 people had joined the newly formed group. Are we going to show a clip of the, let's show Bo first.

We've got a couple of truckers weighing in on it. This is Bo out here. Hey, Bo. November 29th. Let's show Bo first. We got a couple of truckers weighing in on it. There's Bo out here. Hey, Bo. November 29th. My brother's birthday. That's the date. That what?

The United States is going to shut down November 29th. Every trucker is going to park their truck on November 29th. Pass the word. Google it. We're going to shut this United States down for Donald Trump. Amen, brother man. November 29th. Shut her down.

We're going to make a stand. Pass the word. Bow out. Bow out. Bow out. November 29th. That guy's definitely a trucker. I bet you he's got some of those lot lizard stories. His nuts are probably covered with blisters from these toothless broads that blow somebody for tuna sandwich they're all methed out and shit i gotta get a truck anyways here's the message

it says here's here's the message actually uh i think i can oh it's on my phone let me put on my broken glasses like a jerk off this is from the truckers our message is simple and hopefully effective uh we fully intend to exercise our rights. We will not have politicians making crippling decisions that will negatively affect our future and the future of our children. President Trump has worked diligently for four long years to protect the rights and freedoms of all Americans. And very importantly, the blue collar workers in this country, the blue collar workers are literally the ones that make the wheels turn. Without the truck drivers, this country could not survive for long. Our intention is not to harm anyone. We would like to make a point that we do not wish for any companies or private truck drivers supplying any kind of medical supplies

and or services to participate in our movement. We will not participate in the leftist Biden-Harris Green New Deal. We do not support the banning of fracking. The United States of America operates as a capitalistic economy, and oil is the fuel she survives on. With this being said, we will stop all tires for 24 hours on Veterans Day, 11-11-20. If this is not effective, and our leaders do not respect that the blue-collar truck drivers are having to face domestic terrorism, primarily in Democrat run cities all over the United States, and that we do not support the banning of fracking in any way, then we will have our second stop of tires for four full days, 1126 to 1129. We are calling for all patriots to share this all over the country. We may not last long on Facebook, but please do not be deterred and continue to share this on any social media

or other outlets that you have available to you. Thank God and God bless Kevin Spacey. What? That's what I'm doing. I'm sharing it on what I have available. So that's the message. available. So that's the, that's the message. Asking truckers to, yeah, the ones that don't,

the ones that transport medical, they're not doing that. You know, at least they took the time to point that out. And then we get another trucker who sounds more Southern than Larry, the cable guy. God bless these guys. That's got to be. I hate people, and I'd fucking become a comic because, you know, you go to the show by yourself. You're in a hotel.

I liked all that when I was young. It's getting a little tired, I'll be honest. But I still enjoy my solace. But being a trucker, man, it's fucking lonely out there. Anyway, listen to this guy now you can sit there in your damn seat just be a yes man and just do you know comply and do everything that your company tells you to do or you can grow a goddamn set of balls and a backbone to stand up and say fuck you you, we're shutting it down. I don't know how we're going to do it, guys, but we've got to do it.

Look, the military can't save us. The civilians can't save us. The civilians can't save us. The police can't save us. The truckers can't save this country. Get mad, man. Once in our existence, we can stand up in one voice and say, we're not going to fucking take your bullshit anymore. Imagine if he hit a bridge embattment as he's looking at the camera. He's right, though.

Grow a spine. You can act like a man. What's the matter with you? And they are pissed. They're ready to do some damage to fight back. The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood anyways folks uh that is it for today uh neil cavuto is now an enemy to me he always had

the drive well money shows are just boring anyways but that jerk off uh i don't know do we do the story how many we got left uh this and then the uh cbs yeah this one makes you better which one is let's do uh cavuto this fucking and i was watching uh this really angered me as you you know, Fox News is pretty much sold out. Okay. So go to Citizens Free Press or anything else. Newsmax. One American News. Because these pricks have sold the fuck out, in my opinion.

I mean, there's a few people there. You know, Gutfeld hasn't. Or, uh, Jesse. Or, uh, there's a few people. Martha McCallum. They're still hanging in there. And, of course, Hannity and Tucker, because they're cash cows, so they'll never move. But they truly believe, you know, and try to be honest.

The Fox News, they say the turn is more obvious every day. In this case, it was demonstrated by Neal Chubby Cavuto while Fox News was carrying my girlfriend, Kaylee McEnany's presser. This jerk showed his. I love you for helping me to construct my life, not a tavern, but a temple. Anyways, McEnany presser, he interrupted interrupted it the trump campaign's legal arguments and actions uh on voter fraud in the election results mcganney rightly stated the democrats are doing everything

in their power to prevent accountability and transparency and a legal and fair accounting of the votes cavuto didn't like it and he got his digs in uh and he shut down the feed watch this interception uh what's been going on in some states notably pennsylvania with the vote count let's listen one party in america that opposes verifying signatures citizenship residency eligibility there is only one party in america trying to keep observers out of the count room. And that party, my friends, is the Democrat Party. You don't take these positions because you want an honest election. You don't oppose an audit of the vote because you want an accurate count.

You don't oppose our efforts at sunlight and transparency because you have nothing to hide. You take these positions because you are welcoming fraud and you are welcoming illegal voting. Our position is clear. We want to protect the franchise of the American people. We want an honest, accurate, lawful count. We want maximum sunlight. We want maximum transparency. We want every legal vote to be counted. And we want every illegal vote. Well, I just think we have to be very clear that she's charging. The other side is welcoming fraud and welcoming illegal voting.

Unless she has more details to back that up. I can't in good countenance continue showing you this. Shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up up you cunt girl wanna fucking smash his fucking face in you're a crumb creep shut up Neil

unless they have evidence who you working for the AP now for MSNBC there's a ton of it it's coming but you know what you won't show it on your show will you Neil hey by the way how's your pal Ed Henry doing is he still fucking There's a ton of it. It's coming. But you know what? You won't show it on your show, will you, Neil? Hey, by the way, how's your pal Ed Henry doing?

Is he still fucking? He's got four more women coming after him. Anyways, I have to shut this down. Wow. Now Fox News is allergic to the truth. I understand it's a business show and whatever. And I wish I, my brother's making a killing with a whole Pfizer fucking plan. He says it's like shooting fish in a barrel, which I can't even do that. Anyways, fucking Neil Cavuto.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, unless she has substantiated. Unbelievable. Switch. Watch Tucker, maybe Hannity, but the rest of it adios and all you people go it's conservative news fox is so proud trump bullshit that is it folks uh thank you so much again for the contributions don't forget november 21st i'm live streaming a stand-up show from Vegas You'll get an hour of me out of my mind It shall be fun Don't forget Cameo.com

I did two this morning where I make a little video on my phone You tell me about a person you want roasted I'll be glad to do it Go to Cameo.com and click on my profile Remember, you think it, I will say it You're very welcome We'll see you back here tomorrow Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.