The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bathroom Cam Makes For Good Sinema | Nick Di Paolo Show #605

Episode Date: October 5, 2021

Facebook, Instagram, WhatApp suffer outage. AOC slams Facebook. Democrats endorse harassment. Texas pardons George Floyd. FL teacher has sex with student.

Hey guys, just wanted to take a quick moment right here at the start to thank those of you who make contributions to the show. Because of you guys, we were able to build the Comics Gym site, and when Facebook and Instagram went down yesterday, we were still up and able to get our show out through our platform. Thank you guys again. We appreciate it very much Lady, hello! How are you, folks? Welcome to the Big Dirty Show on a filthy Tuesday here. You know what I'm saying? Sure.

Tarzan was one of our earliest swingers. Did he ever actually marry Jane? Well, if he didn't, you know what that makes boy. You know what that makes boy. A cum dumpster. Just thought I'd throw thatdum-ba. You know what that makes a boy. A cum dumpster. Just thought I'd throw that out there, folks. You know what I'm saying? I'm in a good mood today.

I gave myself a handjob. Kiss my ass. Otherwise known as masturbation. I like to refer to it as a naked chokehold. Give me the money! Ah, shut up. cold. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah, don't forget, if you're baseball fans, Red Sox. Boy, you can tell I had pizza at about midnight. That fucking oven's going to be a problem, I'm telling you. Holy Christ. I took more pizzas out of it last week than if you were working like a dominoes as a fucking driver.

Red Sox, Yankees tonight. One game. Doesn't get any better in baseball than that. Scary thing is they swept us the last time we faced them. But anyways, just make a note and, you know, put on a point after that. It's a good night. Let's get to the show, shall we? Well, in our N-word segment today, In our N-word segment today, check this out. The First Lady of Florida is sick with cancer. They're asking for prayers.

All I've got for them is take your Regeneron and your Ivermectin and hope for the best. Oh, a bit of twat. Let's drop her, this pig, onto the third rail. Once again, a lib feminist broad who has zero chance of getting a prick stuck in her, even if she wadded into the rapist wing of a men's prison. And by prick, I'm not talking about the vaccine there, chubby. She's angry at, you know my theory, she's angry at God because God made her and apparently

it was a rush job and this was the end result. What a combination, ugly on the outside, even uglier on the inside. Hey, where have I seen that face before? I know I've seen, yes, yes,D! There she is! Holy shit, they both look like Ricky Lake. And you notice this pig on the left here, she's actually wearing lipstick, which is going to end up where it always does on her 10-inch black dildo, which she uses as a chew toy on Saturday nights as she cries by herself about her hips.

You know, I always said nothing makes a fat girl more attractive than a pair of Vince Lombardi glasses. Looks like she should be calling a power sweep. This broad's as bitter as a bag of dandelion greens soaked in skunk piss. Taking a shot, she's taking a shot at DeSantis' wife, who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Lot of balls, you pig. So Mrs. DeSantis has a different view than you about COVID, and for that, you want her dead. I'd tell you to grow up, but apparently you can only grow out. I pray to God this broad gets cancer, especially breast cancer. You know why? It's the only way a guy's going to look at your tits. There's not that much whiskey in the world.

Let's all pray it's malignant and spreads to your prostate like a California wildfire. You were never popular. You'll never be popular. Guys will never like you. So why don't you do what you do best? Head to the Arby's around 11.45 p.m. Order the number 4 at the drive-thru, N5, 6, and 7. Bring it back to your house and inhale it like a check placed in a pneumatic bank tube. Then cry yourself to sleep because you're fat and lonely and nobody likes you. That's the N-word. Boy, are they hateful. Boy, are they hateful.

And they try to pass themselves off as compassionate. Just shrill, angry people. She never fit in. So that's enough of a reason to sign up for the rest of the losers that vote Democrat. The ugly broads. The people who were bullied and picked on. Now they're in power. Now the nerds have the keys to the gym.

Can you imagine saying that about a woman who was just diagnosed with breast cancer? I wouldn't do that if it was Pelosi. Yeah, I would. The fuck am I shitting? I'll take everything back I just said. Okay, let's move on, shall we? Hey, big goings on in the tech world yesterday, huh? Timing was kind of suspicious. I don't know how to make of it, but Facebook, WhatsApp, which is the worst name thing I've ever heard, Instagram, suffer outage.

Oh, no. Why couldn't it be permanent is my first question. If it was permanent, you know what a better world this would be? What are you talking about? Hey, as long as we can get porn on the internet and buy shit, that's all we need. I don't need to hear about some kid I went to high school with who sucks Biden's balls. Facebook and Instagram and WhatsApp platforms are back online. Well, thank Christ I can relax.

After a massive global outage plunged the services and the businesses and people who rely on them into chaos for hours. Thumbs up. A big thumbs up. Yeah. What, you couldn't buy shit for three minutes? You couldn't advertise your massage parlor? Facebook said late Monday that the root cause of the outage was, this is fucking unbelievable, Zuckerberg spilled a strawberry milkshake on some fucking mainframe. They even have those anymore. They said it was caused by a load shot from Zuckerberg that landed on the keyboards

as he was jacking off to one of the guys that supposedly stole his idea at Harvard. No, it was actually a faulty configuration change, which was my fault. I thought we were going plus or minus the two. And that there is no evidence that user... Now, why would we believe this? That user data was compromised as a result of the outage.

Did they already lie to us once? Remember when they got hacked? How many people got their shit stolen and they came out and lied about it? Oh, you mother's box. The company apologized and said, it's working to understand more about the cause which began around 11 40 a.m eastern time do you believe anything they say are you interested in the real story

yes let's get to it facebook was already in the throes of a separate major crisis after whistleblower francis hogan a former facebook product manager provided the wall street journal with internal documents that exposed the company's awareness of harms caused by its products and decisions. Hogan went public on 60 Minutes on Sunday night, scheduled to testify before Senate subcommittee on Tuesday. But don't buy that hype either, because I already explained it to you yesterday. She was saying they were weighing profits against safety. And she used in the phrase ethnic hate and misinformation, which is always applied to us people on the right. That's what

she's saying. Disinformation, you know, the anti-vaxxers. That's what she's saying the big problem is. Not the fact that they bury stories that help Biden get elected and all the other horseshit. So don't buy any of this fucking hype. Hogan also anonymously filed complaints with the federal law enforcement alleging Facebook's own research shows how it magnifies hate and misinformation. There it is. Hate and misinformation, the two things that you always hear the left calling the right. So the average idiot's going to sit there and go, see, them fucking Trump supporters, they're hateful racists and they don't believe in science. Hate and misinformation and leads to increased polarizing.

How many times have we caught Fauci being wrong since all this started? Yet he's still on there yapping away. Leads to increased polarization. That's what we want. I want two countries. I wish I knew how to go about it. I'd start it today. Fuck you. We have nothing in common with you leftist douchebags who hate this country. Start your own. We'll give you from fucking Nevada over. We'll take the rest. And we have guns, by the way, and we'd love to use

them. Suck bag. Nick, relax. Okay. It also showed that the company was aware that Instagram can harm teenage girls' mental health. Well, so could I when I was a teenager. I used to go, you got no tits. You got fat ankles. They do. They hurt little girls. I don't have any, so who gives a fuck? They know this though. They do know this, but that's not the biggest problem!

I'm sorry if you teenage girls are getting picked on, but the election was stolen! You're not fucking doing this again. Look over here, but the real problem is over here! Anybody watching this show? It's the funniest fucking thing on the internet. More coffee? Mike Schrepper, Facebook's outgoing goo-gobbler, chief technology officer, later tweeted sincere apologies. Oh, thank Christ. In Monday night's statement, Facebook blamed changes on routers that coordinate network traffic between data centers. That's what it was.

I thought it was Zuckerberg peeing on the... The company said the changes interrupted the communication, which had a cascading effect on the way our data centers communicate, bringing our services to a halt, which we loved. It was beautiful. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! It had nothing to up! Shut up! Shut up! It had nothing to do with that broad going public, you f-ing-up. I was hoping it was an external force, somebody who hates them. You know what I mean? I was hoping it's somebody who wants to take them down and hacked into it. But it'd be hard to outsmart these bookworms. This guy's never seen a tit in his life. There was no evidence as of Monday afternoon that malicious activity was involved.

Matthew Prince, CEO of the internet infrastructure provider CloudFlare. Look at that. That's a gorgeous sweater, Matt. It's a real pussy magnet, ain't it? How many kids do you have tied up? Boys in your basement. He tweeted that nothing we're seeing related to the Facebook service

ought to just suggest it was an attack. Would you tell us if it was? I hope it was China, your best friends. Facebook did not respond to messages for comment about the attack or the possibility of malicious activity. While much of Facebook's workforce is still working remotely,

as in China, there were reports that employees at work on the company's Menlo Park, California campus, they had trouble entering buildings because the outage had rendered their security badges useless. Sounds like a hack to me. No, I didn't mean that. It wasn't a cough joke. I'm, I'm, I'm, the fuck's with this tie? Thanks for telling me, fellas. But anyways, let's get back to the story that's way too fucking long. But the impact was far worse for multitudes of Facebook. Nearly 3 billion users, showing just how much the world has come to rely on something that was invented to find pussy at Harvard, supposedly. It was really invented for the government.

That's why it's a global thing, in my opinion. And it's property to run businesses, connect with online communities, log on to multiple other websites, even order food. So people couldn't do any of that for almost, what, 12 hours? And the world came to a stop. Oh, boy, you. Exactly, Livia. It also showed that despite the presence of Twitter, Telegram, Signal, TikTok, Snapchat, SnapMySnatch, and a bevy of other platforms, nothing can easily replace the social network that over the past 17

years has effectively evolved into critical infrastructure. You think you might want to break it up? The outage, you know, when a company has a bad day and the fucking world freezes up, yeah, I don't know. You might want to break it up. I don't mean to be a dick here. The outage came the same day Facebook asked federal judge that I never could, this is too long, I'll keep going. I just could never, Facebook was always to me overwhelming. There's too much shit on the page and I'd be looking at my aunt who I hadn't seen in 20 years at a fucking baby shower and then there's a kid in my frat giving me the finger from 40 years ago. in my frat, give me the finger from 40 years ago.

Anyways, ask the federal judge that revised an antitrust complaint against it by the Federal Trade Commission. So the Federal Trade Commission was bringing a suit against them, and jerk-offs when it dropped. Federal Trade Commission, be dismissed because it faces vigorous competition from

other services. Well, just buy them up like you have been, like you did on Instagram. What the fuck, man? I tell you, okay? Oh, who's back in the news? The girl with the sweet tits and no brains. That's right, the former waitress from Westchester, New York. Sometimes she looks good. Other times when she's looking straight on, she's got those fucking Mr. Ed teeth and that unibrow, But other than that, you got a fucking pair on her. Ocasio-Cortez slams Facebook. I tell you, fuck Zuckerberg and fuck the Deos brothers. Here she is telling us just how big

her implants are going to be. That turns me on. I don't know why. Yummy, yummy. And look at the person on the far right. Looks like fucking Robert Plant from Zeppelin. That, by the way, is a trans. Isn't that that thing? That health and human services thing? Jewish last name.

Or is that actually Ben Franklin's kid? Kevin Franklin. Rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez blamed what she called Facebook's monopolistic behavior, she's actually right on this, for the impacts of Monday's Facebook outage that affected WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, and Messenger. She specifically

responded to a claim that Latin Americans, she has to bring it, always got to go back to race. They were more, they were hit much, well, they're still shitting in coffee cans over there. We can't, uh. She responded to a claim that Latin American communities were disproportionately affected by the

Facebook outage on Monday due to the high usage of WhatsApp. Well, whose fucking fault is that, you batch? It's almost, she says, as if Facebook monopolistic mission to either own, copy, or destroy any competing platform has incredibly destructive effects on free society and democracy, the congresswoman said, as she puts out her 19th tweet. That's how she campaigned, didn't it? As congresswoman said on Twitter, she said it on Twitter. Oh my God, I can't even make this shit up. In response to Forbes editor Jose Caporoso, remember Watt's app wasn't created by Facebook it was an independent success

Facebook got scared and bought it Ocasio-Cortez uh continued even I knew that that's what it's all about follow the money during the outage Caporoso tweeted Latin America lives on WhatsApp I am surprised by so many people underestimating how catastrophic this downfall has been. Other social media users agreed the repercussions of WhatsApp being down in the rest of the world are vast and devastating. Oh my God, Godzilla has been seen heading towards Taiwan. It's like the equivalent of your phone and the phones of all your loved ones being turned off without a warning.

Maybe you rely on it too much, you fucking greasy raccoon-eating fucks. The app essentially functions as an unregulated utility, said Ora Bugada. There you go, a young meatloaf. Ora Bugada, that. Could be a man, could be a girl. A reporter and producer at Reveal, a young meatloaf. Or a baguette, could be a man, could be a girl. A reporter and producer at Reveal, a tremendous whatever.

If Facebook's monopolistic behavior was checked back when it should have been, perhaps around the time it started acquiring competitors like Instagram, the continents of people who depend on WhatsApp and IG, are you blaming companies for being too successful? I mean, I understand it, but, you know, you're in D.C. now. Do something about it. Break it up. Come up with an idea.

Quit going to the Met Gala and showing off your ass. No, don't do that. WhatsApp and IG for either communication or commerce would be fine right now. Acacia Cortez added. Break them up, she says. You break them up. You're in D.C., not us. What the fuck's the matter with you?

What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? I know a thing or two about a thing or two. What the fuck's the matter with you? Fat fuck got an autograph sign. I'm sorry, Jimmy. It's my mother's what?

being wise with me? take it back get it out of here I don't give a fuck where you got it get it out this is a good show today imagine the world shuts down because Snapchat

I wouldn't know Snapchat I've been fucking snapped my chat. I'll tell you what I do know. I know a good product when I find one. Honey.com. Hey, guys. Join Honey.com.

That's the name of it, by the way. Join Honey.com has become the first place I go now when I need to buy something online. What they offer is great. I'm always on this site. Last week, I saved like $44 on some noise-canceling headphones, and I put them on when I'm home on the weekends, and my wife starts yapping. And nothing, it's just, I just go like this. And this is all I have to do, and the conversation

goes perfectly, and every time I'm about to check out online, I see that promo code thing, and I'm thinking, everybody's getting a great deal, but I'm paying full price, but I'll be damned if I'm going to go search for a promo code. Anyway, joinhoney.com does that for you. They have over, listen to this, 17 million members already, and it's great. It's a free browser extension that searches for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart at checkout. You know how convenient that is? Joinhoney.com supports over 30,000 stores online, from tech stores to clothing, even food delivery. thousand stores online from tech stores to clothing even food delivery all you do when you get to the checkout the honey button drops down and you just click apply coupons and you watch the price drop to me that's how the whole word everything in the world should work that easily

if you don't already have a free account at join honey.com you're missing out. Guys, it's free. And just by getting it, you'll also be supporting this show. Get it for free at joinhoney.com slash nickdip. That's joinhoney.com slash nickdip. And we thank them for sponsoring this show today. Great product. Woo! Woo! Whoo!

In our libs eating libs segment, in a surprise move, Democrats endorse harassment. How's that a surprise? That's just every day for them. Lay off the pizza, fella. Okay. God, I made a delicious one yesterday. Guys, you go to the fucking, you go to the oven. There's a list.

It's all digital. Oh, let me see. Neapolitan, New York style. It sets the temperature for the roof, for the deck. What, are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm going to look like Refrigerator Perry in about seven months. Like I said yesterday, it's like being a cokehead and having a deal and living in your kitchen.

Oh, my God. Anyways, in a shift from years of radical posturing, liberal journalists and other Democrats endorsed the harassment Oh, my God. Anyways, in a shift from years of radical posturing, liberal journalists and other Democrats endorsed the harassment of LGBTQ woman after Senator Kristen Sinema, Democrat, Arizona, by the way, openly bisexual, says it right, that was followed into a bathroom in Phoenix by radical activists who violated state law by recording the encounter on video. I think we have, this is unbelievable. The minute you hear the Democrats agree with it, right away you have to go. It's either a Republican or a moderate Democrat, or just anybody who disagrees with them on anything.

That's how fucking childish you people are. And all I can say is people on the right, I fight fire with fire. Follow Pelosi into the stall. She's taking a big wet one. Kick that door in and pull her wig off. Will you stop doing shit? God, help us. So here's a Democratic Arizona Senator Sinema who by the way why she's so controversial right now is because of the whole infrastructure bill and shit and she's one of the damn

moderates who's holding it up and thinks it's ridiculous too and and then you got these DACA kids listen to the the Hispanic accents. They haven't even lost their accents yet. And they're telling us what to do. You know, it's just his ass. Go ahead, show it. Be able to talk about what's really happening. We need a Build Back Better plan right now. We need the Build Back Better plan right now. We knocked on doors. I'm trying to take a nap. We knocked on doors for you to get you elected. And just how we got you elected, we can get you out of office if you...

Pause. We knocked on doors for you. I got you elected. We can do it. I got elected. Sing. It's a nice melody. We knocked on doors for you.

Yeah. That's terrific. When you're done knocking on doors, how about having your brother cut my lawn and clean the Weed Whacker You fuckstain Go ahead Alright let's

And she responded That was definitely like two Starbucks large blacks and a bowl of chili on the way to work. I don't think there are... We should have showed Biden here. There's a clip of Biden actually saying this in a press conference. He was asked about this behavior.

And Jerkoff says, I don't think there are appropriate tactics, but it happens to everybody. Oh! You know. think they're appropriate tactics, but it happens to everybody. Oh, you know, I caught a guy, you know, a guy was jerking off on the train yesterday. Well, everybody does. President Joe Biden said Monday, it's part of the process. Now, you're going to tell me he'd be saying that if, I don't know, I'm trying to think of a real, well, let's say Pelosi. If Fox News, Doocy went in there and got Pelosi in a headlock while she was standing at the urinal with her giant cock up.

He says it's part of the process. Several hours after Biden's remarks, White House press secretary, my girlfriend, Jen. Jen? You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. It's a great show today. Jen Psaki refused to comment on whether the administration condemned the taped harassment of a U.S. senator. Can you imagine? She can't even answer that.

She can't condemn it. You all right with that? Can you imagine? She can't even answer that. She can't condemn it. You all right with that? The president wasn't the only lib who defended Sinema's harassers who belong to an activist organization bankrolled by who else? Left-wing billionaire George somebody should whack Soros. Sinema's constituents feel this is the only way to reach her, wrote Democratic strategist Max Burns, seen here with the most punchable face in the Capitol. Look at that pencil neck geek. I would just slap you if you're walking by on the sidewalk for being a cunt. Don't run for office if you're just going to hide, is what this goo gobbler said. need to shut the fuck up which is worse your grandparents

being deported oh kirsten powers who used to work at fox news then took her sweet tits over to the fucking cnn which is worse your grandparents being deported or being followed into a bathroom because you refuse to stop and listen. Let's find out when I follow you in the bathroom and shoot a load over the top of the stall and it lands on your head. What? Nick, you can't? I did. Because you refuse to stop and listen by people desperate for your help.

Oh, yeah, they're in such crisis. Their parents are dumb enough to bring them over here illegally. Fuck you. Fuck you, I tell you. The Das brothers. This is not a trick question, wrote Kirsten Powers, a senior political brain damage waste of tits at CNN. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! God, I love that clip. Brings me back to Easter when I was 11 and my dad lost his temper. Something about lumps in his mashed potatoes. But, you know. Fucking coffee.

I won't shit till next week. Dehydrated, just fucking hot air. It's like listening to OC. What's, this story really got me by the short ones. Texas to pardon George Floyd. Oh God, thank Christ. I have been tossing and turning

like somebody was kneeling on my throat. The Texas State Board of Pardons. This is what they're worrying about in Texas as half of Haiti and Central America is climbing into their country illegally. The Texas State Board of Pardons and Paroles voted unanimously Monday to recommend a full posthumous, how do

you say that? Posthumous. Pardon of George Floyd for a 2004 drug conviction. Not the thing that got him killed, according to hearing minutes provided by the board to CNN. Naturally, they're there for the big breaking news. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all. And I'm black, y'all. An application for the pardon was filed in April on behalf of Floyd by Nick DiPaolo and his friend, what? And his surviving family. And in the application, Alison Mathis, surviving family. In the application, Alison Mathis, seen here, great granddaughter of Johnny Mathis. I see it in you. Say a bell singing and I'm gay. Suck a big prick on a bale of fucking hay.

Family, Alison Mathis of the Harris County Public Defender's Office said the request was filed because the arresting officer in Floyd's case, Gerald Goines, seen here, black fella. Who does he look like? That's right, every other black fella. What? That's a joke, everybody. Lighten up. I knew somebody, a cab driver there. Gerald Goines manufactured the existence of confidential informants

to bolster his cases against innocent defendants. Floyd died. Oh, I'm glad they rehashed this. Every time they bring up George Floyd, they have to rehash how he died. Oh, I'm glad they rehashed this. Every time they bring up George Floyd, they have to rehash how he died. It's hilarious. It'll be like bringing up Jesus. Every time you mention Jesus in an article, you're going to tell me how he died. Jesus was a Jew who was nailed to a cross because the Romans had a hair across their ass. Floyd died on May 20. He did? What happened?

After four-mile Minneapolis, police officer Derek Chauvin knelt on his neck for more than nine minutes. I'm glad you cleared that up. That's about eight. Chauvin was found guilty of Floyd's murder in April and was sentenced to 22 and a half years in prison in June. We lament the loss of former Houstonian George Floyd. Yes, we do, said this guy here. Fucking Pat Moynihan, former tight end for TCU. Fucking, is every broad in politics got a cock? A cock. A cock. Have a cock. Every, no, no, no, not every

Houstonian here. George Floyd in hope that his family finds comfort. Oh yeah, I'm sure they'll. In Monday's decision by the Texas State Board of Pardons and Paroles to recommend clemency for a 2004 conviction involving

former Houston Police Department officer Gerald Goines, Kim Aug. She's as pretty as her name. Kim Aug. Aug. The Harris County District Attorney said in a statement as she shaved her back. Goines arrested Floyd on February 5, 2004, alleging at the time that Floyd possessed crack cocaine and that Floyd had provided the

drugs to an unnamed second suspect who had agreed to sell the drugs to the undercover Goins. The second suspect was not arrested. Goins noted in his offense report in an attempt to further the narcotic trafficking in this area, which raised a red flag. You know. Goyne's attorney, Nicole DeBoard, DeBoard, told CNN in April, we stand by the original case. We certainly sympathize with Mr. Floyd's cause, but that doesn't change the fact that his former conviction was a

legitimate one. And I'm guessing it was. How about that? I'm weighing in. Jesus Christ, they're making this guy out to be Anthony Fauci. A saint. And again, I'll say it again, nobody, he didn't deserve to die that way. Obviously. But that's not the point.

Don't turn him into something he wasn't, okay? The guy held a gun to a pregnant woman's stomach. By the way, the toxicology report said he died of drugs, but let's just fucking throw the guy in jail, the cop, anyways. Hey, guys, I'll be back performing stand-up, and I'm glad I cleared up stand-up because a lot of people think I tap dance and ride a unicycle. I'll be doing stand-up in Florida in just a few weeks. I'm going to be doing four shows at the Visani Comedy Theater in Port Charlotte. That's Port Charlotte, Florida, on October 28th, 29th, and 30th. If you live in Port Charlotte, even Venice, Naples, or Fort Myers, make plans to come out.

Grab the wife or the boyfriend or the husband or the kid in the wheelchair. I'll make fun of him, too. Also, I'm back at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Vegas, November 12th and 13th, and just added dates early next year in upstate New York, New Jersey, and on Long Island. Get tickets to all my shows at nickdimp.com and click on the tour button for all that information. Could you please? I'd like to see you out at the shows.

That pizza oven ain't going to pay for itself, you know what I'm saying? Oh, here's a story. Now, why doesn't this come on the Florida story? Isn't Hialeah in Florida? It is. The fuck? Am I the only one doing my job here? I don't know who to yell at.

Haleah, teacher. It ain't me, all's I know. Haleah, teacher, has sex with student. Why is this news? This is great news if you're that student. I'm trying to think of any teachers I wish fucked me. There's this one guy, Mr. French. Haleah middle drama teacher has been arrested after police said she had sex with a 14-year-old former student.

Where were these broads? That's not her, by the way. We'll show you the real her, not quite as hot as this broad. Former student in her car multiple times. It's always a 14-year-old boy. You lucky motherfuckers. She was banging him for a couple months in a car. Nice. She said, let me show you my Volvo. Timmy, get in there. Let me show you my ball ball. Timmy, get in there. Oh! Woo!

Woo! Here come that train. Woo! Next up, Jism Town. Brittany Lopez Murray, one crazy spick broad. Look at the face on this poor thing. You can tell she was violated by her uncle. Look at the hurt in her eyes.

Look at that. Again, if you're a 14-year-old boy, throw on a little lipstick. Maybe make her wash. Brittany Lopez Murray, 31, was booked into Miami-Dade Jail on Monday evening on multiple felonies, including lewd and lascivious battery molestation and engaging in sexual act with a child. Fourteen! It's not a premature baby. Hey, little boy. Do you want some candy?

You're goddamn right I do. Give me a Butterfinger. What? The Miami-Dade school district said Monday night that she has been a teacher for four years without prior disciplinary history, so she should be able to fuck whoever she wants. Hialeah Middle named Lopez Murray

Rookie Teacher of the Year. She was Rookie Teacher. No wonder why she feels she can get away with this shit. If she blows two more wrestlers, she could be up for MVP of the hell highest school system. Her defense attorneys, you're going to laugh at this, Landon Ray, that's Landon Ray, not a bad looking fella, but I mean, he's chopped liver compared to Jeff Chukawuma.

Seen here, this is an attorney slash model. Hey, who'd you get to represent you? A Deion Sanders cousin. Look at his black hunk. Chukawoma hadn't seen her arrest report as on Monday night. She is presumed innocent until proven guilty, Ray said. Which one's Ray? The white guy?

Oh, that's that guy. We hope you don't think that black attorney's banging that little white thing. Get the fuck out. Not for nothing, Pete. These folks love that shit, no? We hope everyone is... We hope everyone is patient. Don't rush to judgment and respects the family's privacy. We hope everyone is patient.

Don't rush to judgment and respects the family's privacy. Lopez Murray, who was married in 2016, apparently that's not going well, started the relationship with a teenager in August, police said. According to Hialeah Police Report, the student, who is now a student at a high school in Hialeah, used to be Lopez Murray's student. Oh, we know, we know you can't, you can't, you can't do that. On Saturday, the report said the victim's sister became suspicious

of her brother's behavior on his phone as he kept wiping it down with Windex. She managed to get his phone and saw explicit text messages and photos between the teen and Lopez. The boy's father later saw the phone in that the teacher had sent the boy photos of her exposed breasts and vag. The cops are trying to get the phone back from dad. He won't give it away. The police report text messages between the two detailed how much they enjoy sex with each other,

according to the reports, and the audio proves it, I think. Next stop, Jism Town. This is like Quint when he's on the boat. Quint, don't push it that hard. Set up. It sounds like the orca. Hialeah police detectives interviewed the boy who told them Lopez Murray sent him a text in August 2020

where she expressed her feelings towards him. They later met for coffee, and that led to multiple sex acts in her car on multiple dates, including the parking lot of the Westland Mall and Publix. On several occasions, the sex act happened as they were eating fried chicken at Publix. No, after she picked him up from basketball practice. She likes it like sweaty balls. The police said, Haleah detectives arrested Lopez Maria on Monday. She invoked her right to remain silent and did not speak to police.

And I don't know how you feel about it, but that's just terrific. She's a little whore. No. And a little piece of trash. No, I disagree. She's the rookie of the year. Hey, I want to thank you guys. Paul Sagnella in Connecticut.

Tim Hershey in Ohio. John Rose in Kentucky. Marcy Stevens in Georgia. Kit Fortney in Michigan. Robert Curley in New York. Melody Walke, Utah. David Schmidt, California, Sean Powell in Florida writing us from rehab, I hope.

Anyways, that's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank you guys so much for, again, coming out to see me live and watching the show every day. Please spread the word. I want this thing to grow. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com to check out my tour dates. You can buy stuff there.

And cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. Tell me about the person. I'll make a video on my phone roasting that person. We'll send it right to them. That is it. You guys think that I will say it.

You're very welcome. We'll see you back here already. That is it. You guys think that I will say you're very welcome. We'll see you back here already tomorrow's Wednesday at the same time. Have a good day. guitar solo Outro Music