The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bernie and Bloomberg Bustin' Balls | Nick Di Paolo Show #302

Episode Date: February 18, 2020

Spilled milk at Bernie rally. Air Force service members can now wear turbans. Sex dolls cause psychological damage. Thanks Billy from Pelham, NY for submitting your Patreon question.   MONDAY - THURSDAY 9PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

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I want to thank everybody that supports the show monthly through Patreon and with one-time contributions through PayPal. You guys, you know, you keep this thing moving right along. And for monthly contributions and to see on-course show segments that are only available at Patreon, you can sign up at

patreon.com forward slash the Nick DiPaolo Show. If you'd like to make a one-time contribution, you can either do it at nickdip.com or directly through PayPal. Ooh, excuse me. PayPal.me forward slash The Nick DiPaolo Show. So you can make contributions there.

And please, please make them. I'm like any other capitalist, motherfucker. I need cheddar up in this bitch. Who said that? Winston Churchill, I believe in the early Thank you for everybody that came out this weekend to Lake Park Florida, the Kelsey Theater in Lake Park Florida, great gig, took

a hundred pictures, shook hands with everybody really fun crowd, great time, uh especially to mike this uh black kid from the bronx who stood there quietly after i shook everybody's hand he's standing in the corner he had a i think it said dipalo and pence or trump and dipalo in 2020 t-shirt and he was a truck driver who actually drove like three hours. He actually skipped work. I hope his boss isn't watching the show. But people like that.

Another couple drove three hours. I mean, I don't take that for granted because I wouldn't drive three hours to do anything. Fucking, I'll lay on the couch. I don't want to wash my ass from Friday night till Monday morning. These people get up. Some of them shower, put on clothes, and come out to see. I never take that for granted. It makes me nervous about the state of the world.

That's what I'm saying to you. I love you. Love you very much. So we had a fucking blast. Anyways, let's get right to it, shall we? What time do we start the show? 1.15? Okay.

Hey, you know, Mike Bloomberg, good friend of mine, little midget Jew guy from New York, maybe heterosexual, maybe not. Very smart. Worth between 60 and 70 billion with the B dollars. I admire anybody. Like, look, Rick Ross said it best. Rich is gangster. Nah, nah, nah. I can say it, right? If I'm quoting Raz, you give me a ruling. You're the black guy. I think anybody can say it right if I'm quoting Raz you give me a ruling you're the black guy I think anybody can say anything Richie no that's wrong any fucking lesbian can say anything any black guy can say anything Rich is gangsta nigga

that was the song I have it in my head I danced with my mother my wedding that was the song I requested. That bitch did not find that funny whatsoever. Know what I'm saying? Let's get right to Mike Blomberg, ladies and gentlemen. Michael Blomberg, look at him.

He's pointing to the bank. Look at Hillary going, what? You're worth how much? I didn't even make that in my book tour because I'm an unlikely booker. He's a fake. No, no, no. That's just my take on it. It doesn't matter. He's a smart son of a bitch. But let's be honest. Look at that.

He's talking about maybe considering the thick-ankled dogface as a running mate, according to the Drudge report the thick ankle dog face and let me tell you this right now she would never settle for vice president okay she was actually the president when bill was breath she would never settle for that you know what but here's the plan he's gonna get in there let's say they won. But I don't think anything is going to stop Trump. He was a Daytona in the beast, the fucking car, bulletproof limo. He was the pace car. I love that silly. So anyways, you know what's going to happen?

Let's say he gets in. She's on the ticket, and he won by some miracle. Then he's going to fake some type of cancer or some shit, and she's the president. You don't understand the United States, ladies and gentlemen. This is the century of the woman. We'll do anything. Cheat, steal, lie to get her in there. She already tried to lie and cheat and couldn't do it herself, so blow me. But I swear to God, if he gets in there, she's the vice president, something will happen to him. I'm not going to say what.

Maybe he breaks his neck during a ballet performance or something, and then she fills in. Nick, that's some crazy shit. Isn't that scary, though? What did I tell Donald Trump Jr.? I said, this guy's going to be involved. And I was right. I was right.

Blow me. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. That's Bill Clinton yelling at Mike Bloomberg. He's saying, you better put her on the ticket. I don't need her around the house. I come in at three in the morning with the fucking female scent of a Perkins waitress on my fingers. According to Drudge, a partnership Bloomberg would change his official residence from New York to Colorado or

Florida. The Constitution suggests there may be limitations in both members of a presidential ballot residing in the same state. Why? I never heard that. You? Not that I give a shit. Trump's going to trounce anybody. Clinton was asked earlier this year by talk show host and fellow carpet muncher Ellen DeGeneres, if she, can you imagine that interview? Wow, that must have been hard hitting. Ellen asked, would you consider running as vice president in 2020 and she said well that that's well that's not going to happen uh clinton said at the time but this is typical hillary no that's not going to happen then but no probably no see the probably always listen for that when this woman is speaking and that listen for that as he let her out of the pen clinton has uh been less coy when addressing the current field of democratic candidates in

an interview with a hollywood reporter hillary slammed bernie sanders her main competitor in 2016 even after she fucking cheated him out of a win she's still slamming him. Thick-ankled dog face. I hate your fucking mug. Anyways, you know what she said in the interview? Nobody likes him. Boy, if anybody knows about being disliked, it's you. You thick-ankled fucking Halloween mask zitty-backed bitch. By the way, Hillary, I hate Pelosi more than you. It's neck and neck. Bloomberg, a late contender in the presidential race,

has been pouring money into ads online means to support his run. And those efforts appear to have borne fruit with him rising in the polls. And I underline the word fruit. He's a fag. Oh, I'm just kidding. Before you kick me off fucking YouTube. Have a sense of humor, LG, PQ, RS, WZ, XI, yeah, yeah.

I'm finna break it down for you. I just got my start. Fuck them cops. If you love hip-hop, bust them shirts. What a show we got today, folks. Let's stay on politics and

Bernie Sanders. Why? It's all Jewish politicians. You guys are going to get reputation for running the world if you keep this up. Somebody put Hillary back in the pen, please. Get in there, you fucking corn eater. You pig face. A topless protest that disrupted Senator Bernie Sanders' campaign rally

in Nevada on Sunday. Moments after Bill the Douche de Blasio introduced the Democratic presidential candidate to the stage, de Blasio had just announced Sanders to the crowd in Carson City as the next president of the Soviet Union. You fucking cocksucker. When Sanders entered the stage with his wife, I'll say it again, you Bernie brothers out there, I hate Bernie's politics and shit, but I appreciate his authenticity. He actually believes the horse shit. He really thinks he's arrogant enough to think this is going to work in this country.

It is pricelessly funny to me. Anyways, they brought him to the stage with his wife as the song Power to the People. You fuck. Here's the clip of that. Great security. Bernie, I'm your big supporter, and I'm here to ask you to stop popping up the dairy industry and to stop popping up animals everywhere. Look at Bernie. Get this fucking cunt off. Pause. Here comes the security. A couple of guys are press pass. What if that girl wanted to stab him in the ass or whatever or choke him out?

What kind of security? Already I can tell you're not fit to run the country. Imagine the Mexican border. Nobody stopped her. And it's only starting to get fun. She's yelling about the dairy industry. Now watch what happens. Now we're talking.

What? I like it. Uh-huh. You see him on the street? Left him with me? I like it. That's right. Now, let me ask you. Were they working in cahoots those two girls

first girls yelling about the dairy industry and then we have two big tits on the face I might have to be a perverted to make that connection I think they were working together but what kind of security what the fuck who's texting you right now

Raz oh what are you looking at? About, oh, okay, for the show, we might use that, yeah. Probably the I Like Big Tits song might not leave it in there. I don't give a fuck. I played two seconds of it, for the love of Christ. Can you imagine de Blasio bringing on, oh, God. Sanders moved to the edge of the stage as a string of women.

Then did you see the first girl? How arrogant. Just get up there and grab the mic. I mean, Bernie should have just fucking Bernie. If you fucking dropped her with an elbow forearm shiver, I vote for you. I would vote for you. I'm not a fan of feminist whores. You should have knocked her silly.

Sanders moved to the edge of the stage as a string of women paraded across holding images of cows. Followed by a topless woman who gestured to Sanders as members of his security detail positioned themselves between the two. Even in the article, they don't pick up on the fact. You know, the guy who wrote this article, Mark, should be going, where was his security? Or is this all staged? You know what I mean? But do you understand why this infuriates Bernie and the far left?

Because it makes him look like the far left loons. It shows a lack of, you know what I mean, professionalism. And this is what people who are afraid of the far left think the nation's going to turn into. And that's a best case scenario. Girls showing their tits. I'm going to have to rethink my vote, Trump, unless you could up it. Trump probably will up it at the next rally.

You know what I mean? He'll get a bunch of strippers from the gold club in Atlanta and have Kanye back him in in a gold Rolls Royce or some shit. I hope. This is what Bernie said after the topless. This is Nevada. There's always a little excitement at no extra cost. Except we have a lot of water on stage, he says.

I could slip and break one of my two plastic hips. The protesters were prompted by senators' support in 2018 for legislation that provided emergency financial support for dairy farmers across the country because of falling milk price of milk. It's not. Wait a minute. That's. That sounds like socialism. Anytime the government's propping up farmers and shit.

And are they Bernie fans or not? Maybe. Maybe those are. It's not the first time a Sanders rally has been disrupted by a topless protester. A woman showed up at March 2016 rally in Arizona with the word stop fascism on her back and hate speech is not free on her front.

Hate speech is not free uh there's no such thing as hate speech put on your pants you pig uh de blasio announced his support for sanders wow that ought to prop you up bernie as as people run wild in new york and i'll prove that in a few minutes uh he uh he announced his support for sanders this weekend after backing Hillary Clinton in 2016. Do you really want that jerk off, Bill de Blasio, endorsing anything? Problem. You're the fucking problem. He is the problem.

You fucking Dr. White, onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. Not this time. Not this time.

De Blasio, you cocksucker. Speaking of Billy de Blasio, see, this is the, I promise you. Not this time. Not this time. Not this time. DeBlasio, you cocksucker. Speaking of Billy DeBlasio, see, this is the, you got Bernie now, you got Bloomberg, you know, Bernie, he's a capitalist, but you know, everything else, he's hiding it too. But this is what's going on in New York. This is why I segue from DeBlasio. A serial thief who has racked up 139 arrests for pickpocketing unsuspecting subway commuters has thanked the Democrats because bail reform allows him to commit more crimes. And you know what's funny? This stupid fucking criminal, there he is. First of all,

that looks like Abdul-Jabbar sherman hemsley had a son yeah we're moving on up to pick pocket on the east side look that looks like a little again look i see abdul jabbar and anyways i'm famous he says do you understand he thinks he's doing democrats a favor doing this i'm famous charles barry understand he thinks he's doing democrats a favor doing this i'm famous charles barry maybe he doesn't maybe he's actually a fucking can you be a career criminal and be republican i'm sure you can uh charles barry 56 told a reporter outside of manhattan criminal court on saturday after he was released uh to the uh because of the new lenient law. I'm famous. Charlesbury 56. There's something wrong with the black man's mind.

There's something wrong with his mind. No, it ain't. There's something wrong with the white man's mind. Bill de Blasio, whoever fucking got this legislation passed. So there's no bail on nonviolent crimes. He goes, listen, this is a quote from the criminal. I take two, 300 a day of your money, cracker. Barry has been arrested six times so far.

There's a little rule, okay? You know, the three strikes and you're out. I thought that was great. I don't give a fuck if it's lifting a slice of pizza, stealing a kid's bike. On the third one, you're going to jail. Not for a lifetime, but depending on the crimes. You know what I mean?

So anyways, arrested six times in 2020. Each time he's been freed without paying bail, thanks to a new state law that went into effect on January 1st. Fucking de Blasio. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? State law that went into effect on January 1st. Fucking de Blasio. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? No, you're not. As police led Barry out of the precinct on Thursday after his latest arrest, he yelled to the reporter, bail reform.

He says, bail reforms, it's lit. It's the Democrats. He might be a Republican. The Democrats know me and the Republicans fear me. You can't touch me. I can't be stopped. If that's a fact, tell me,

am I lying? Listen to his record, Raz. Not to pick on your people, but Jesus Christ, there can't be a white guy with this record anywhere. I mean, sure, Bundy and those guys cut people's heads off, but... On two occasions, he was arrested for stealing money from subway commuters who were in the process of buying MetroCards

from the vending machines in the subway station. On January 19th, Barry allegedly stole $50 out of a woman's hand inside the subway station. He was then issued a desk appearance ticket for failing to show up for a court hearing. The arrests in 2020 are in addition to the 133 other arrests for crimes like grand larceny, petty larceny, and fraudulent accosting. The new law in New York State, which was passed after democrats took control did you hear that fuck stains you're still voting democrat after democrats took control of the legislation in albany requires judges to release those accused of misdemeanors and non-violent so

stealing money right out of a girl's hand you know that's not you know why that's non-violent or whatever it's only non-violent if you do it to me, a res, we're going to fight. And you don't have a weapon on you. I'm going to punch you in the head. You're going to punch me back. We're going to wrestle. Right? Again, if barring you have no knife on you, which, you know, on the subway.

So then it becomes violent. So I suggest spitting the guy's face when he tries. In order to ensure that those arrested return for their court dates, the judge may impose a non-monetary non-monetary conditions like electronic monitoring or supervised release you fucking liberals are out of your tits sanctuary cities fucking now they raise the amount when you steal they're lowering the threshold on that you, so it won't be considered a felon. It'll be a misdemeanor if you take less than. They're lowering the threshold.

So criminals know that now? It's fucking. Who is it, Raz? Who's running the world who wants to destroy? If someone else, listen to this, if someone is suspected of committing a violent felony and the judge is not convinced that he or she will show up for the court date, the judge can impose bail. That's pretty anybody you know i mean somebody's a lifelong criminal you think they're going to show up for the court date you dinkless wonder supporters of the reform say it's necessary and here comes the bullshit here comes the

smokescreen to reduce the pre-trial jail population in combat mass incarceration. I can't believe this argument fucking gets any traction because it's too crowded. What if everybody started raping everybody and shit? There's no room. Just use the logic. We have to let them out early. It's packed. Build more prisons.

Build more jails. I don't want to hear any more about we got too many prisons. There's a pipeline. Build as many as you need. Have you ever fly over the middle of the country? There's zillions of acres. You could put big, shiny new prisons. I'll pay taxes. Raise mine for that. Oh, Nick, you're just fucking. I'll pay taxes. Raise mine for that. Oh, Nick, you're just fucking... What a stupid argument that is. Opponents say that it allows recidivist criminals

to continue committing crimes without a deterrent. Well, I think Mr. Barry just fucking proved that, didn't he? Since Barry's crimes are considered nonviolent, you know, after you do like 10, I don't care if it's 10 loitering, the 11th one should be considered violent, whatever it is. How about 10 misdemeanors equal a felon or whatever? Somebody help me here. Since his crimes are non-violent, judges are not allowed to send him to jail while his case awaits trial.

Why? Why? Why? According to authorities, Barry has a history of sneaking up on commuters and stealing their wallets. Police say he's even pretended to be a Metropolitan Transportation Authority worker, otherwise known as MTA, and often helped to riders buying subway cards only to run off with their cash and credit cards. But it's not violent, right? It's not violent. The 56-year-old Barry has served six terms in state prison.

So that tells me he has a history of violence. Or did he go to prison for these? I don't think so. He was sentenced after being convicted for selling drugs as well, and people say selling drugs is nonviolent, which is total horseshit, the dirtiest business. Okay, you fucking sell drugs.

There's no crime associated with the drug industry. See Scarface. Even on a low level, it turns people into violent fucking. Okay, how about I make that argument? Ever see somebody on fucking bath salts? Remember back in Florida about five, 10 years ago, people getting their faces chewed off at a bus stop?

But that's, you know, it's nonviolent. The guy that sold the shit, he's just a pharmacist. Critics of the bail law say it should be amended so that judges have some discretion to impose bail on potentially dangerous. Gee, you think? But supporters of the bail law accuse the NYPD of amplifying Barry's arrest to promote their agenda. What? You're lying. They are lying.

You're a piece of shit. How are you fucking? he's got 156 arrests but we're amplifying his record fuck you and everything you believe in you left-wing twats the LAS which is representing Barry uh that's the legal aid society which should be uh banned um the LAS which is representing Barry says putting him in jail doesn't does no one any good That's the Legal Aid Society, which should be banned. The LAAS, which is representing Barry, says putting him in jail does no one any good. Really? Why don't you go ask the 156 people he pickpocketed or robbed if it would have done them good if he was in jail after about number 10?

Fucking retardation. Locking up Mr. Barry on unaffordable bail or worse, remanding without bail, ultimately does nothing to protect the public and fails entirely to address his actual needs. Fuck his needs. Fuck his needs. The fuck? You don't think we'd all like to go out and rob? You think Raz wanted to drive here again today? To make 70, 80 grand he makes a month?

I mean, come on! again today to make 70, 80 grand he makes a month? I mean, come on. You need to shut the fuck up. Yeah, we're moving on up to the east side to pickpocket in a deluxe apartment in the sky. Welcome home, Jabba. I can't do the rest of the lyrics that has the n-word in it very catchy hey dates real quick folks this weekend god Tommy's working me like I'm a fucking

strong middle act this weekend Thursday Friday Saturday I'll be at comics in Mohegan Sun in Montville Connecticut and then next weekend I gotta go to goddamn Illinois, Decatur Civic Center, Decatur, Illinois. And then that's on the February 28th. The next night, Zany's Comedy Club, Rosemont, Illinois.

I actually love the Chicago area. March 13th and 14th, the Magoobies Joke House, Timonium, Maryland. And just added March 28th and 29th, Skank Fest in Houston, Texas. That's like Jay Oakerson and Louie Gomez and the boys. They put on this big thing for a weekend, and I can't wait. I like all those guys.

April 3rd, Morgan Hill Event Center, Herman Maine. The next night, April 4th, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine. June 12th, the Ritz Theater in Scranton, Pennsylvania. September 24th through 26th, the Comedy Works at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. October 10th, Stand Up Live Huntsville, Alabama. October 11th, the next night, Zany's in Nashville, Tennessee. And then I'm going to cut an album for the old Opry. All right.

Go to nickdip.com. But take an affirmation. Air Force. Let's get back to this country. Lower But the confirmation. Air Force, let's get back to this country, lowering the standards. That's pretty much the theme of the show today. Lowering the standards out of fairness. You know, like Lizzo. I'll get to her in a few minutes. She hosted SNL at Christmas. I saw the rerun. I always skip through the fucking music part of the show because I'm in my late hundreds and I never know who these fucks are. But I kept hearing Lizzo, Lizzo, Lizzo.

And turns out she used to be a nose guard for the University of Texas and just a fat broad who's proud of it. And anyways, here's another standard we're going to change. The Air Force is going to allow uniformed members to wear turbans, hijabs, beards, and a new dress code update. That's what they're going to do. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa, Abakala. There you go. That looks like Kurt Metzger in the upper left-hand corner. Look, they have to throw a white guy in there for the beard thing,

so now you can have beards. You think it's really about white guys wanting beards? That's why we did. And then you got the woman in the upper right-hand corner with a fucking erection growing out of the back of her head. What the fuck is that lump,

E.T.? Look, this is almost racist. They give you the guy with the camouflage. It's almost like a mugshot. Look, that's him. Now he's looking straight at us. And then there's the Irish pasty white guy. And there she is, again, profile shot straight ahead.

Here's why I got a problem with this. You know, servicemen have been killed, right? Even in this country, in Fort Hood. And I know I'm not again, I'm not saying all Muslims, but I'm just saying we've had or even in Afghanistan, the ones that work with us, you know, the locals have turned their guns on American soldiers. And but Nick, this this would make it easy for them to identify. Oh, good point. All right.

Okay. But my point being is, it's the U.S. military. Why are we bending to their religion? You know what I mean? If you're a Sikh or a Muslim and you want to be in the U.S. military, no, these are our rules. You have to follow them. Wouldn't that be signaling that, hey, I'm all for being an American? Anybody out there? Are you all anesthetized by political correctness and just, no, come on, man, that's racist, blah, blah, blah?

No, it isn't. I'd make the ones, I'd make the Muslim soldiers that have to get an American flag tattoo on their forehead how would that sit would you that's some fascist shit yo yeah i know i know but as my friend said from pakistan durka durka muhammad jihad the air force released an update of the dress code and personal appearance on Air Force personnel on February 7th, now permitting airmen to request a waiver to wear religious apparel. Again, fuck you. Do what the American military has been doing. In uniform as long as they are neat and conservative.

What does that mean? Neat and conserved? What does that mean? neat and concert what does that mean as long as uh your hijab is on straight and you have the same politics as mitch mcconnell i don't even know if he's fucking uh the material used for headwear must resemble the color of the assigned uniform oh hey thanks this includes camouflage must be worn in a fashion that presents a professional and well-groomed appearance. In addition to religion, if you want a professional and well-groomed appearance, you should get all the gay men in the country to sign up. These motherfuckers know how to dress and whatnot. In addition to religious apparel, members also can request permission to have unshorn beards and unshorn hair. Hair, sorry, hair.

Hair. If the length of the beard exceeds two inches, oh boy, I'm glad we're focusing on the enemy. China's creating a virus in labs and taking out half the world population. We're over here going, Abdul, come here. That looks like it's about three and a half inches. It must be, if it's longer than two inches, it must be rolled or tied to meet the new standards. Isn't that terrific? We're focusing.

No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Oh, God. The Air Force will be able to deny any requests if it furthers a compelling governmental interest. I don't know what that means. Special requests to observe religious practices previously have been approved. In 2018, Staff Sergeant Abdul Rahman Gashan became the first Muslim airman to receive a beard waiver for religious reasons, according to the Air Force. And what were those religious reasons i don't know but it sounded like this oh nick that's horrible airman first class uh hop in dinner hop in dinner

okay no rule if i can't say your first name you're not allowed in the military. I'll call him Jack Singh Bajra. Became the first active duty Sikh. I like Sikhs. They work hard. Every time you get in a cab in New York, it's a Sikh driving. Not every time, but to be ready to wear a turban, beard and long hair the following year. Okay, so why is this such big breaking news? They've already done this.

Somebody help me out here. I don't know. That just looks like a guy in a bandana. We'll let it slide. I mean, every black NFL player wears it under their helmet, that hat. Probably says Under Armour behind it. Got a whole fucking... I know they're good patriots and shit, but I'm saying we have a history

of Muslim people who are working alongside our military turning their guns on them and whether it's Fort Hood or over in Afghanistan sometimes translators snap and they go I'm working with these dirty Yankees you know what I'm saying oh Nick that's ridiculous shut up

you know who's a real asshole Raz and I'll tell you You know what I'm saying? Oh, Nick, that's ridiculous. Shut up. You know who's a real asshole, Raz? And I'll tell you. Sadiq Khan. Who's he? He's a cornerback for the Green Bay Packers. He just signed the one-year deal. No.

He's the mayor of London. Can you imagine? England's being overrun by violent fucking extremists, Islamic extremists. But let's make the mayor fucking whitey. You lost your balls. You lost it. I liked it better in Braveheart days when England was running the world. How about that?

I had more respect for you then. London Mayor Sadiq Khan has declared that biological males and females who identify as the opposite sex are indeed what they claim to be. identify as the opposite sex are indeed what they claim to be that people who say they are non-binary really are neither male nor female and moreover that all gender identities are valid this is what this fucking jerk i think your brain is going soft oh my god what a mess let me ask you this this insanity is already spread over here too and we probably i don't know who gave the virus to who but so what stops me when i get pulled over from the cops i hand the id and they go mr de ball no i'm not fucking my name is janet today i'm a woman you got the wrong

fucking guy seriously i don't get it. You know? London Mass Decon. Trans women are trans women. Trans-ams are trans-ams. Trans men are men. No, they're not. No, they're not. They're women who want to be men. Trans women are women.

No, they're not. It's a guy who's transitioning, I guess. Don't even know what trans mean. It used to mean transsexual, you know, transgender transition. Just whatever. Here's how it should work. You get pulled over and your name is Diane. All right, let me see you snatch. Some cops do that now, by the way. Not very nice. do that now by the way not very nice uh transmitted non-binary people are non-binary all genders are valid uh the publicly funded british broadcasting corporation that would be the bbc for example recently produced a video series for young school children i'll repeat that for young school children in which it is explained that there are over 100 if not more, gender identities. Huh? Do you guys believe that? That's what they say here.

Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Actually, there's still only two. I'm sticking to my guns. There's still only two. You can catch a couple people in transition abroad with tits and a penis some guys are into that shit i know one comic who's got a long list of

khan's preferred brand of identity politics is race-based however with the u.s president donald trump being a favorite foil and uh you know you know what khan says about trump he only cares about white white america he says and i say this to you you half a fucking jerk off fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. There was a delay there. That could have been hilarious. That could have been a showstopper.

You want a question? Yeah, I'd like a question. Please. Here you go. Billy S., Pelham, New York. Hello, Nick. Does the rest of your family share your political views? Just curious.

None of your business, Bill. Go make your wife a fucking sandwich. I don't like the tone of your voice. That's his way of going. Are they fucking as racist and big? Which one is it? Your father? Your mother?

The rest of my family, my sister Donna is, you know, right wing as I am. But no, to answer your question, you know what they're for? They're for hardworking people. And my parents, my dad hasn't voted. I mean, he's got Alzheimer's. But my mom, you know, I mean, they just, they want common sense. They're not real right winger, left winger, you know what I mean? But they'd rather Republican in the White House.

You know why? Because they get up and they pay their taxes and they worked hard and they raised five productive kids. Those are usually traits you'd find in somebody on the right, you know? My mother's not laying in her bed blogging at fucking, you know, 10 in the morning, raging against dairy products and subsidy fucking horseshit. So, no, I'm the lone bigot. Is that what you want to call it? Is that what you're getting at, Billy?

Actually, good question. But yeah, my brother, isn't my brother? Look, my brother worked for Time on a Cable, marketing guy, semi-retired, two years younger than me, good business guy, moved his family all over the country, had to uproot his kids. you think that's easy deserves every penny he makes um you know my sister darling is more apolitical but just for common sense and if you've a common sense you're not for the democrat party anymore so yes and no to answer i'm very I'm very confused. Bill, it's a terrific question. But yes, I'm the more outspoken.

My sister Donna, don't get her going. Holy fucking moly. She makes me look like a fucking shrinking violet. The real answer, Bill, is my parents. No, I didn't get this shit from my parents. They're very nice. My dad would drop a few, you know, watching a fucking Celtics game.

He'd drop a few bombs, but it had nothing to do with race. It had more to do with the chili he had. Listen. Let's stay on gender and sex. Where are we, Raz? This is, oh god u.s researchers have warned that the availability of sex robots with artificial intelligence poses a growing psychological and moral threat to individuals and society uh sex robots may cause psychological damage

you know the female ones and raz said yeah, yeah, so did the real woman. That was Raz's line, which was a fucking zinger. I was all against this until I started to see some of these dolls. We'll put them up in a second. Yeah, hold on. Relax. He's got an itchy trigger finger. All right.

They say the technology is escaping oversight because agencies are too embarrassed to investigate it. Grow up, people. They're too embarrassed to investigate. The scientists want action to prevent the unregulated use of such robots. Again, you know what? I'm against that, too. Hands off, government. The arguments are coming up up but i'm just saying

some lonely fucking guy who's 400 you know 400 pounds can't get laid or you know broad who looks like lizzo and she's not famous they should be able to get the dolls go crazy keep fucking lizzo out of a bikini dr christine hendron hey Hey, Hendry. How you doing, Hendry? You'll be working with Jimmy. Christine Hendry of Duke University told BBC News that the stakes were high.

Some robots are programmed to protest to create rape scenarios, she said. I don't know if that's needed, but... You're raping me. This is rape.

This is rape. This is rape. That's rape. This is rape. That's the Harvey Weinstein model. Why would you program it to fucking scream rape? Oh, my God. Danger. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger.

Program to create, to protest. Maybe those girls showing their tits at Bernie sings. Were they plugged in? Some are designed to look like children. Now that's where I draw the line. Unless the kids are really good looking. That's gross. One developer of these in Japan

is a self-confessed pedophile. Guy who makes these dolls. Who says that this device is a prophylactic against him ever hunting, ever hurting that this device is a prophylactic against him ever hunting, ever hurting, hunting, hurting a real child is what he says. So hey, little boy, do you want some candy? You got to think about that. He's saying, well, if I'm fucking the doll, that means I'm not fucking kids. But you know what? You're still fucking a doll that looks

like a kid. So how about we put you to death like they would in Tehran? I don't like it. And eventually you're going to get tired of the doll. There's nothing like the real thing. Come on. How many of us have bagged a doll that looks like a Cub Scout? There's nothing like a real... You know, it's just as sick

to want to fuck a doll that looks like a kid. So I don't know. But he's saying, well, if I'm doing that, I'm not bullshit. You're going to get bored. You're going to get bored. Some people say, but doesn't that normalize and give people a chance to practice these behaviors that should be treated by just stamping them out? That's a great question. A number of sex robots are advertised online. A U.S. based firm,

it's called Real Robotics, has posted a video marketing its Harmony robot for between eight and ten grand. It's a life-size doll, which can blink and move its eyes and neck, which is a more I can say than the last girl I fucked back in the, uh, picked her up at a, a spinal cord injury hospital. Who's with me? Anybody?

Uh, it's a life-size doll, which can blink and move its eyes. Why don't you just pick up a fucking paralyzed person? And also it can move its lips as it talks. That's what a guy's looking for in a doll. Just spend 10 grand and a doll is going to yap back to him? You fucked on her.

She's like, clean the garage. I'll choke you out, bitch. Put up some of the pictures of these that's Whitney Cummings right she's a female comedian I like her I know her a little bit she's rich she wrote Two Broke Women which proves

there is no female bias in Hollywood because that show is about as funny as pediatric cancer okay it's the fucking worst I mean she's not bad i don't think she's a bad comic she's a good looking girl is that that's her where was this res where'd you find this i think it's from a special she did but it's her sex robot it oh she owns it she has sex

with herself who she liberace remember liberace made a kid get fucking plastic surgery so he looked like himself? He was fucking a kid that looked like him. Whitney's, now here's one here. These are, no, go ahead. This is a beautiful doll. And I'm not talking about the one on the right. I like the Asian kid with the big pipes. I like to fucking give him a real beat.

Look at her over here, Miss Sweet Tits i i'm on the fence raz yeah i'm against the fucking making them look like kids and shit but i mean for uh you know this kid's not having the pussy train pull up to his house the asian kid you know he looks like he's doing look at that i mean holy fucking moly let's say you don't feel like going out. This was going to happen, right? Saturday night, you're a young guy. Oh, for fuck's sake. You worked all week. Your friends want you to meet you at some bar 12 miles away. It's 11 degrees out. Am I going to roll over and fucking pork this fucking snow tire? Look at those lips. They're perfect. But if she starts talking, I'm going to choke her out. That's too real.

God damn it. Okay, I changed my mind. You should be able to get these dolls. The prices are ridiculous, though. You horny guys out there, it's going to be like when the fucking VCR came out. You're paying through, you know, flat screen TVs that were fucking $3,000. Just wait a year. You're going to be able to get those at Walmart

next to the malted milk balls. Fuck. They'll go from $8,000 to $10,000 to like, you know, fucking, I don't know, $480. They'll have a regular ones, you know, the nipples over here or the fucking... Spanish. Speaking with a Scottish accent.

Oh my God. The mannequin says, if you play your cards right, you'll have some pleasure and fun coming your way. Something I've never heard out of my wife. You're going to hear a lot of this, too. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. That's me yelling at the door. Anyways, listen to this. The firm's founder, CEO Matt McMullen, explains that Harmony has AI that enables her

to develop a relationship with the owner. Yeah, that's what guys are looking for. Do you guys not understand men at all, Matt? You think a guy's buying a $10,000 fucking doll so he can have a relationship with it? Or does he want to fuck the shit out of it till it pops like a... I want somebody I can relate to and who loves me. No, I want something I can use as a fucking cum ashtray.

She's going to remember things about you, your likes, your dislikes, and your experiences. Everything you don't want women to do. Matt, I've got to sit down and talk with you. What are you, 11? I wonder if you can get one that you can put a drug in and pour it in the doll's mouth. She acts all stupid and shit. This isn't Diet Coke. This tastes funny.

These companies are saying, you don't have friendship. This is a lady who's against it. Kathleen Richardson, professor of ethics and culture robots. That's an actual thing now at DeMontfort University in Leicester wants this kind of marketing outlaw. These companies are saying you don't have a friendship. You don't have a life partner, don't worry, we can create a robot girlfriend for you. Yeah, exactly. A relationship with a girlfriend

is based on intimacy, she says, attachment and reciprocity. I can't say that. These are things that can be replicated by machines. They can't be replicated by machines, is what she's saying and uh are we going to

mu move into a future where we can keep normalizing the idea of women as sex objects she told bbc news it always gets back to the feminist uh shit yeah but she's not you're not thinking honey there's a lot of guys out there who can't get laid you You know? Although, you know what? That's not true. If a guy can afford an $8,000 to $10,000 doll, he'll probably get some cash on him. You know what? Girls are as shallow as men. Okay? You've seen some of the

people. Look at fucking Weinstein. Do you believe anybody fucked that guy? Or the lead singer of the Cars. Remember him? He's dead now, and I loved him. Rick Ocasek was banging the hottest fucking supermodel of the time. You're going to tell me if he was working at the city dump, Paulina Porticova would have been fucking him? I don't know what my point is here, but I'm going to get a doll. I get some mannequins out here.

They're about $22. You've seen them on the show before. That's her big concern with treating him like sex well a doll would be a sex object wouldn't you rather have a guy treating a doll like shit instead of a real woman lady i don't know i'm not getting your argument i talked myself into a circle on that one i have no idea i gotta be honest if i had had the fucking that kind of cash, I'd probably have a couple. I'd be driving around in my car, not even fucking. So people go, Jesus Christ, guys are Nissan fucking Altima and he's getting that kind of pussy? I'd have their faces out the window.

Tits hanging. Let's do one more shall we speaking of binary non-binary dolls real dolls this kind of comes into now we're again changing we're changing everything about our society what's's the headline here? Well, I'll tell you what the headline is. Hear ye! Hear ye! The court's in session. The court's in session now. Here come the judge.

Here come the judge. This is out of Florida. Huachachula. An orangutan named Sandra who was granted legal personhood by a judge in Argentina, later found a new home in Florida, celebrated her 34th birthday on Valentine's Day with a special new primate friend, Patty Reagan, director of the Center of Great Apes in Huachula, Florida. center of great apes watchula florida that looks like an old irish guy look there's no doubt we came from them there's no doubt that i fucking believe man yeah but not

to this point listen patty reagan director of the Center of Great Apes in Huachula, Florida, says Sandra has adjusted beautifully to her life at the sanctuary and has befriended Jethro, a 31-year-old male orangutan, who apparently has a very successful tool and dye business. He's worth about $4 million. Judge Elena Liberatore's landmark ruling in 2015 declared that Sandra is legally not an animal, but not she's not an animal, but a non-human person. I've been described that many times after a show and thus entitled to some legal rights enjoyed by people and better living conditions. enjoyed by people and better living conditions.

You just said she's a non-human person, so why does she enjoy rights of people? I don't get it. People are, you know. With that ruling, this dumb cunt's ruling, I want to tell society something new, that animals are sentient beings and that the first right they have is our obligation to respect them, she says. Is that what you say?

So they're just like us, Raz. They're people. I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. Beneath him be. Sandra.

Salacious 17th century. 21st century. Can you imagine on judge on Friday? Sandra says, does she get to pick pocket in the subways and does she have to post bail or no? On Friday, Sandra celebrated her birthday complete with pink signs and wrapped packages.

Jethro, who was once in the entertainment business. That's what it says. Oh God, I can make this so horribly offensive, but I'm not going to. Once in the entertainment business. What was he? Oh, that's right.

I do remember him. He was the fucking bass player for somebody. Tower of Power. Once in the entertainment business. So they hooked him up together and I guess he prefers that over fucking a $10,000 doll I don't know the point of the whole fucking goddamn story but it's making me angry

at the judge no Jethro's a good guy but did you catch the little the little contradiction she says it's not human it's non-human but it deserves the rights of people aren't we human people human aren't they synonymous somebody fucking help me out i can't live anymore i don't know the difference between a guy and a girl a pussy and a dick a fucking orangutan and a real just a pussy and a dick.

A fucking orangutan and a real, just a fat guy at a parade. There's no... God help me. Anyways, that's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. What am I supposed to say here, Raz? Cabio, encore. Don't forget your encore presentation for you people who are, do they get it today too?

Free people get it too? Get an encore? We'll give you an encore, an extra story. And after that zinger, I'm sure you can't wait. Don't forget cameo.com. I don't know what's going on, but I'm getting a ton of these things lately. Go to cameo.com. I'll make a personal, you tell, but I'm getting a ton of these things lately. Go to cameo.com. I'll make a personal, you tell me where to send that.

I'll make a personal video on my phone, uh, roasting one of your friends, you know, trashing your neighbor, trashing a relative you hate or being nice. You know, I can be nice. Sure. I can, uh, go to cameo.com and, uh, you tell me what to say and I'll say it. Click on my profile. Go to NickDip.com for ticket information. Is that it?

I feel like I'm forgetting something. I've got to start writing this shit down. Anyways, that is it, ladies and gentlemen. You guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome and I'll see you people same time on people on Patreon. I'll see you tomorrow. Take care of yourselves. guitar solo I'm out.