The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bernie Challenged in Charleston | Nick Di Paolo Show #307

Episode Date: February 26, 2020

Debate "free for all". Monkeys with herpes. Liberal "woke" YouTuber, actually waking up. Thank you Ryan L. for submitting a question and being a Patreon member. MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA ...#ABreathOfFreshAir

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks? You know what that means. Nick DiPaolo Show from Georgia. Free four days a week, ladies and gentlemen. Go to nickdip.com YouTube. Where else? iTunes, Stitcher. All that shit you
Starting point is 00:00:48 kids love so much. You know what? You can stick these headphones up my mother's ass. Hold on. Ah! Fuck technology. I don't care. Again, if I look like an offensive coordinator for the Italy national team. That's what I'm about, I got flea flicker. How you doing, folks?
Starting point is 00:01:20 Great to be with you again. Mr. DiPaolo, no one can be as nasty as you pretend to be with you again um mr depaulo no one could be as nasty as as you pretend to be unless they they really wanted to be disliked oh yeah how about this me fuck you and your bone spurs and i'm saying bitch i have nick the pig as a friend uh yes folks we went free on monday uh as usual but now it's free monday through thursday itunes stitcher youtube soundcloud your sister's cloud big cloudy tits uh and join patreon for exclusive content we give you an extra story on patreon you can ask me questions and whatever else we come up with that's still in place some people like to just use that as a uh you know a donation to the cause but if you're not on patreon i in which you know i the show is free now i need donations at nickdip.com you know i'm saying man i i got
Starting point is 00:02:19 mouths to feed man um so anyways also um you click on the contact button at nickdip.com if you want to make contributions and if you have a company you want to sponsor the show send me a message at nickdip.com uh looking for anyone everyone who wants to get the word out that uh about their products and uh to hard-working americans that's who makes this country run. And they believe in free speech like myself and their Trump band. So do that. And this weekend, I'll be at the Decatur Civic Center Friday night and then Saturday night. The next night, Zany's in Rosemont, Illinois. March 13th and 14th, I'll be at McGuby's in Timonium, Maryland. And I'm sure I will get coronavirus on one of those flights.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Jesus H, you get on a plane now, everybody's got a Halloween mask on. Is that your ride, Rez? Nick, that's some racist shit. You hear a siren, you say it's a black... I mean, come on, man. Hey, big shout-outs to Clayton Veltkamp, donated $100.
Starting point is 00:03:25 Chris Logan, $10. Chris Logan, $10. Andrew Marshall, $100. Neil Allen, $10. Keith Light, $50. Brian Mazzulli, $100. David Rossin, $10. Ridian Banner, $15. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:03:39 This is what's going to keep the show up and running. Can't thank you guys enough. And I was very, very happy at Connecticut. Everybody after all the shows. Love the show. Listen to the, almost everybody. It's catching on like the coronavirus. Maybe that's, ooh, I just came up with a great self-promotion thing.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Fucking those surgical masks with my logo on them. The DePaulo show. I'm a fucking, I'll bring that to Shark Tank. You'll never see me again. What? Anybody watch the fucking Democratic debates last night? The free for all. I never gave you a title, did I, Raz?
Starting point is 00:04:19 Remind me. The free for all. It's kind of funny because the people up there are what? Politicians who want to give free shit to everybody. free for all. It's kind of funny because the people up there are what? Politicians who want to give free shit to everybody. Free for all. And it was a free for all. Bernie Sanders, because he's in the lead, was attacked and sexually assaulted by Liz Warren. Oh, you can't fucking make this shit up.
Starting point is 00:04:39 It was the worst moderated debate in the history of debates. And again, I don't mean to be sexist, but they have like two chicks, three chicks. There were some guys there, but of course they were, you notice how the guys were secondary, the moderators, they came in at the end of the show. And did you notice how the female moderators kept going to Liz Warren and to Klobuchar? Do you pick up on this shit?
Starting point is 00:05:01 You should if you're a fan of mine. Really just, well, here's just a quick clip of them talking over each other and how useless the moderators were about we don't let's talk about math okay so here's the nothing no here's the math can i respond doing nothing is what will happen. Senator Sanders, you were allowed a quick response, and then we would like to have another candidate. Moderator, guys. Well done, girls. How to step in and take control. They need a bouncer, a six-foot-eight black Muslim bouncer.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Why Muslim? I don't know. They look intimidating when I'm trying to get into bars. Just have them stand in there and fucking stand behind the moderators. And the minute they fucking start talking over each other, he goes up and he just slaps him with an open hand and punches their eardrum like Tyson Fury did to Deontay. Yeah, it was just horribly. And online, people attack the moderators because they did absolutely frigging nothing nor o'donnell did have a good question right at the beginning she went right at bernie and said that look trump's got this
Starting point is 00:06:09 economy humming how you know why would people change to a democratic socialist that was about the last uh good question i heard all night but um just uh just a free-for-all and the lying and uh bloomberg came out right at the beginning he's like, man, I didn't pull this clip up, but he actually said, I'm surprised that you guys showed up. I don't think he was being tongue in cheek since I beat you last week. He didn't seem like he was joking. Did he really believe he had a horrible debate last week? You know that, but he actually shared, you know, he was,
Starting point is 00:06:42 he kind of made up for it, but he came out swinging at he's he kind of made up for it but he came out swinging at bernie uh when he said this i think that uh donald trump thinks it would be better if he's president i do not think so vladimir putin thinks that donald trump is should be president united states and that's why russia is helping you go so you'll lose to him. Look at Bernie. Look at Bernie. Look at Bloomberg's face. Look at his face. He's a fag. Look at Bernie.
Starting point is 00:07:13 I hate Bernie's politics. I really do. But there's something about this guy that, well, it's Larry David. Let's be honest. I came up with a show while I was watching this debate called The Golden Guys. Should be Bernie and fucking Biden and Trump in a house. Bloomberg is the cranky landlord. A little Jewish joke there. And Tom Steyer is the wacky gay neighbor. You see Tom Steyer over there? Everybody's talking. He's doing this. Nobody's listening.
Starting point is 00:07:43 This was in South Carolina. So it was all about the black vote last night. I was on Glenn Beck this month. I said, Glenn, explain it to me. When you try to win the big, the pot of gold, the presidency, the national general election, it's all about number of votes. Well, I know. I know we have the, you know what, college. Lectoral college. And I understand that. But I don't understand the black population is 14% of the country. White population is almost 65 or 68. So if you get half of 1% of the white population, it makes up like all the black.
Starting point is 00:08:20 I don't get it. I don't get the math. I really. Anyhow, so there was a lot of, I love black people more than you do. I feel their pain. You don't. A lot of that horse shit.
Starting point is 00:08:34 And I'm thinking, if I'm a black person watching, look at these pandering idiots. Jesus Christ, we're just Americans. Let's talk about shit that affects us. The hardest I laugh is when Tom Steyer, you know, like right in the middle of it went, reparations, I'm the only one up here for reparations. All the good remarks he made last night, which weren't that many, but he just fucking cut his own throat.
Starting point is 00:08:56 It's never going to happen. In a million years, there'll be a civil war. Listen, it's starting already. Can you hear the sirens? So Balloon Bird comes right in. Russia's helping you because they want Trump to win and they know if they put you up there.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Bernie's like, listen, you old, old. And then Bernie and Pete Buttigieg get into it. They start to argue over socialism and Bernie's past comments on Cuba. I have opposed authoritarianism all over the world. And I was really amazed at what Mayor Bloomberg just said a moment ago. He said that the Chinese government is responsive to the Politburo. But who the hell is the Politburo responsive to? Who elects the Politburo? You got a real dictatorship there? Of course you have a dictatorship in Cuba. What I said is what Barack Obama said in terms of Cuba, that Cuba made progress on education. Yes, I think. Really?
Starting point is 00:09:59 Really? Literacy programs are bad. What Barack Obama said is they made great progress on education and health care. That was Barack Obama. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Buttigieg said that, and I think he got in trouble for saying that. I fucking love Bernie.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Hate his politics. Hate fucking what he stands for. But my God, does he believe what he fucking believes? And he won't release his health records, by the way, because they did a chest x-ray. That fucking bagel is still wedged in his aorta. There's like a half a bagel block in there. But he's out there full of piss and vinegar.
Starting point is 00:10:47 You realize he's, what's he, 78? So is Bloomberg. Do you guys fucking realize these people are ancient? You know? But so obviously Bernie was the center of all these attacks. Because obviously he's leading. But the moderators reminded me of bad boxing refs you know when there's a guy getting the shit kicked out and you're like yelling did he stop the fight stop the fight just up against the ropes unconscious on your feet they just sat there
Starting point is 00:11:17 let him fight let it go it was so uh disorganized anyways uh then burdage i thought made a very salient point he goes he's talking about how divided the country is now and he says can you imagine if bernie is the nominee you think we're divided and hate each other now can you imagine bernie bros versus uh trump people a capitalist a billionaire capitalist versus, oh, my God. And what scares me is that argument could even take traction in this country. But thanks to so many dummies having their brains marinated over the last 40 years with liberal horseshit. So Buttigieg gets into it. I mean, look, if you think the last four years has been chaotic, divisive, toxic, exhausting, imagine spending the better part of 2020 with Bernie Sanders versus Donald Trump. Think about what that will be like for this country.
Starting point is 00:12:19 You know, Pete, if you get rid of the boy's regular haircut, he's the best. Can I just say he's the best debater up there like he's the calmest and um i think he's i said that early on six months ago when they first started debating he's really smart dude uh but he's far far left he puts a fake uh oh i'm just a little mayor from in south bend indiana but he's as fucking radical as left as they come, except for Bernie. So I don't trust him either. But it seems like all the debates I watch, he's the only one with a clear, calm head. And I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:58 He's not going to win in South Carolina because, let's be honest, the brothers and sisters ain't big on fags down there. Carolina because let's be honest, the brothers and sisters ain't big on fags down there. They've made that clear. Whether you follow professional sports, not big on the gay thing. Nick, how can you say, how can you? Ah, shut up. We know it's true. How I hung out with Patrice O'Neill for fucking 10 years. That's how I know. He rarely let me know what's going on. And then lying Lizzie, I actually give that to Trump. Fucking lying Lizzie Warren took an ax,
Starting point is 00:13:36 gave the economy 40 whacks when she realized what she'd done. I forgot the rest of my poem. We were all homeless bums. I don't know. But the titless wonder, the Cherokee, the Blackfoot tribe was represented well by Liz Warren last night. She challenged Bloomberg. Remember, Bloomberg made some comment to a pregnant woman. My goodness. And here's Liz Warren, who, by the way, go ahead, play the clip. At least I didn't have a boss who said to me, kill it.
Starting point is 00:14:07 The way that Mayor Bloomberg never said that I've said to one of his pregnant employees. People want a chance to hear. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore. You know, this story has has been disproven. Do you know that? She said she was pregnant and got fired when she was 20 years old. She got fired because she was pregnant. People have researched and said it's baloney.
Starting point is 00:14:34 She's repeating it again. Running liar. But is that the best you could do, Bloomberg? Oh, come on. I was talking about a cockroach in the coffee room. Eh. Eh. I, come on. I was talking about a cockroach in the coffee room. I never said that. I bet he didn't either. Even if he did, even if he did, it was joking. Here's the thing I have learned about watching these Democrats. And we all know this political correctness, they're humorless. People who are PC are humorless.
Starting point is 00:15:06 That's been going on. People who cancel shows that they're, they are humorless. And you can see now people get in trouble for even like Bloomberg that remember we showed that clip of him that he ran where he said, I'm the only one who started a business. People, you know,
Starting point is 00:15:21 had a problem with that. You can't even joke now. It's getting creepy, uh how can you liz warren how can you what is going on out here can you hear that res you guys hear that siren up what the fuck is uh anyways uh so so liz warren's repeating a lie that she's already been disproven she's just so unlikable she's not going anywhere she had to drop out after this let's draw everybody but bernie and let's how about this bernie and trump in a boxingel in his heart ding ding uh anyway so kill it yeah he never said that i don't care if he did if he did he was joking with a woman obviously um and then what's what is a debate without a joe biden. He last night, they must have gotten his head and said,
Starting point is 00:16:26 listen, Joe, you got to pick up the energy, all right? If you say it loud enough, even if you're fucking lying, people will believe it. He was like an actor last night trying to be a president. He was speaking loudly. I'm the only one up here. Ba-boo, ba-da-boo. At one point, at one point, he stops before his time is up.
Starting point is 00:16:46 Only guy to do that. Everybody else is talking over the time. Then he goes, why am I stopping? Everybody else is going over. Why? Because you realize the more you talk, the bigger hole you dig for yourself. That's why. You can only tell somebody lies in a minute and 15 seconds.
Starting point is 00:17:01 He always comes up short. Everybody else was going over by 30 seconds. But listen to what he says. Here is the gaffe of the night about how many people died in the last 13 years because of guns in this country. Imagine if I stood here and said we give immunity drug companies, we give immunity tobacco companies. That has caused carnage on our streets. A hundred and fifty million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability. More than all the wars. What are we doing? What's going on right now? He just said a hundred and fifty million people, more than all the war, were killed with guns.
Starting point is 00:17:42 He wasn't talking globally. He was talking about this country since 2007. Nobody called him on it. I fucking sat up. I was eating a fucking hot fudge sundae. It fell all over my shorts. I sat up and went, that's half the United States. The population is what, 330 million? That's half the population of the United States.
Starting point is 00:18:02 So how come it's still so crowded on the highways and in the malls? What the fuck? Nobody picked up on it. None of the other debaters, not the moderators went, Bernie, can you repeat that? Bernie, repeat what you just said. He's out of his fucking tits. He belongs. Somebody should be wiping his ass at the Maple Street nursing home giving him green jello and tell him judge judy's coming on in 20 minutes he's out of his fucking mind what are we doing what's going on right now i'll tell you what's going on you are making a real ass of yourself remember barack said to him right before he announced he was gonna run you don't have to do this only barack obama realized that
Starting point is 00:18:43 joe biden his vice president was crazy as a shithouse rat. I wonder when he realized it, like after he picked him to be vice president. They have a meeting in the Oval Office. Joe comes in from the pool, completely naked, no towel. Hi, Barack. What are we doing? What's going on right now? You're going to put on some pants, stupid.
Starting point is 00:19:02 That's what's going on right now. 150 million people killed by guns. That's a lot. And here's a little montage just to wrap this up. See the top. Here's a few top moments. Of the last 50 polls that have been done nationally, I beat Trump 47 of those 50 times. What every study out there, conservative or progressive, says Medicare for all will save money.
Starting point is 00:19:33 Ours will cost about $45 billion, not $60 trillion. No, I like it. Bernie, I was talking. We are looking at a party that has decided that we're either going to support someone who's a Democratic socialist or somebody who has a long history of being a Republican. Nine people shot dead by a white supremacist. Bernie voted five times against the Brady Bill. I'm not saying he's responsible for the nine deaths, but that man would not have been able to get that weapon with the waiting period had been, what I suggest, until you are cleared. The mayor even said that they disproportionately stopped white people too often and minorities too little.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Pause. They did. That was a fact. Mr. Mr. Kiss Blackass Buttigieg. Pete, you don't have a chance in hell, man. You'll get drafted by the frigging Cowboys for the quarterback before you... Black audience can't take this guy serious. Look at him. If you asked a black guy to draw a dorky white guy, that's what he'd come up with. 10 out of 10 guy.
Starting point is 00:20:41 If you look at statistics with stop and frisk, as far as, yeah yeah as far as percentages they did stop too many white people believe it or not go ahead pause so what is seven white people talking about racial justice yeah cause the white people are in power
Starting point is 00:21:03 who else is gonna fix it what are you gonna fucking leave it up to the to fix it? What, are you going to fucking leave it up to the cast of Good Times? The fuck are you talking about? They should be ashamed because they're white and they're talking about,
Starting point is 00:21:12 well, yeah, white people created the alleged injustice, you know, so they have to fix it. Get it? Have the front four of the L.A. Rams up there discussing it? Aaron Donald, what do you think of our reparation I don't even believe in dinosaurs motherfucker
Starting point is 00:21:30 you guys see that on Hard Knocks that was my favorite episode a couple years ago Aaron Donald says dinosaurs never it's all bullshit man who's gonna argue with him take your fucking head off uh what else did i want to plug real quick nickdip.com i got my uh tickets uh obviously for my shows you can get all the information there uh i covered it already let's uh let's
Starting point is 00:22:02 get to um the coverage was cbs last night and they're getting, you know, attacked on social media for what a dog shit job they did. But there's news from ABC. You know, the Project Veritas, that's James O'Keefe, who to me is the journalist of the century. He goes undercover at places like Planned Parenthood and real lefty places, Google. He sneaks people in there, gets a few drinks, and I'm after work. And he hides a camera and lets them spew how they really feel. And he's doing God's work. And anyways, he went after ABC. ABC's David Wright admits network doesn't care about the news. admits network doesn't care about the news. In a newly released Project Veritas video,
Starting point is 00:22:50 footage reveals ABC correspondent Dave Wright admitting the network doesn't care about newsworthy stories. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? He says, I feel terrible. This guy went to Harvard, by the way. Graduated fucking, what do you call it? Come loudy. Come loudy, come softly, come in my mouthy. I can't think today.
Starting point is 00:23:16 I know there's a word before. I feel terrible about it. He says, I feel that the truth suffers. The voters are poorly informed, and people also have the opportunity to tune into whatever they want to hear. And so it's like there's no upside or our bosses don't see an upside in doing the job we're supposed to do, which is speaking truth to power and hold people accountable. While Wright claims he feels bad that voters, ABC doesn't inform voters, in a separate conversation, Wright said he believes ABC News isn't even interested in voters.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Well, so far, this is all true. This admission isn't coming from a Trump sympathizer in this footage. Listen to him talk about how he votes and whatnot. Wright's anti-Trump bias is clear. Not surprising, considering his politics. Would you consider yourself a Democrat socialist? Why not? I'd consider myself a socialist. I think there should be national health insurance. I'm totally fine with reigning in corporations. I think there are too many billionaires.
Starting point is 00:24:22 Those are all Bernie talking points. Those are Bernie talking points. David Wright said it. Bernie said it before he said it. For all of you people that make fun of Fox News and whatnot, and how you think it's bias. Okay. How many times have we revealed shit like this?
Starting point is 00:24:47 That's ABC. He's a high-profile correspondent. You know what? They suspended him. Guy went to Harvard. He was graduated first in his class. He's no fucking dummy. But my point is, of course, people who work at these networks,
Starting point is 00:25:01 we all have political leanings. It's your job, I don't know what they taught you in journalism class, to put those aside. But people can't because we're selfish little pricks. And he wants to see Bernie win deep down. You know? How come nobody's infiltrated Fox News? How come we don't have them on their spewing shit?
Starting point is 00:25:22 Like any other people at home. Oh, they do it right on air. No, they don't.nn has become a joke people who are liberal don't watch cnn anymore did you see what the numbers were this week fox listen to this fox has been a juggernaut right fox news has been a juggernaut ratings wise they just had their best uh month in the 24-year history of Fox. Un-fucking-believable. Hannity leads all people in basic cable news. Holy crap.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Then Tucker Carlson, then Laura Ingraham, who's on it like 10 o'clock. They added since, I think it was since last week, they added, I don't know, they were up, I don't know, 80%. MSNBC was negative. CNN was negative. It's a bloodbath, man. And I know people are going to get nervous. Well, that's only, we're only going to get one side of it.
Starting point is 00:26:14 No, people who watch that shit, I see liberals on there all the time. I don't see conservatives on CNN. Do you? Or MSNBC? MSNBC never has guests on, at least informed ones. But anyways, this guy works for ABC, admitting he is. But my point is, you have to put that shit aside, right, if you're a journalist or if you work for the FBI, you're supposed to. But my question, is it possible? Can you put your biases aside? You should go into something else
Starting point is 00:26:42 if you can't. Obviously, watch five minutes of CNN and MSNBC. You'll get your answer. People can't seem to put it aside. Oh, for the love of God. Hey, where's that lesbian story? Oh, I guess we'll get to that later. I went to show. This happened a couple days ago, but it made me laugh. You want to see my face when I was born?
Starting point is 00:27:10 Apparently they had footage of me being born. Here I am, Nick DiPaolo, going, listen. Ah, look at that fucking baby's face. Mr. DiPaolo, no one can be as nasty as you pretend to be, unless you're being very negative, Mr. DiPaolo. That's Bernie Sanders. But my question is, look at the guy eating Chinese noodles with the chopsticks behind him.
Starting point is 00:27:41 This kid was born, that's making me hungry. It looks like a rollatini, my favorite pasta. Look at the look on this kid was born that's making me hungry it looks like a rollatini my favorite pasta look at the look on this kid this is a little girl what did they name her this girl is gonna be bad news she might run the world when she's in third grade. She's all business. She's got that look like, who locked me in there? I couldn't even breathe. Now cut this thing. I got a drug meeting to go to. Look at the fuck.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Unbelievable. Anyways, her name is Isabella Pereira de Jesus. Oh, Jesus. This was in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Maybe that's why she pissed. She realized where she was born. Nick, that's horrible. Oh, shut it, you big girls.
Starting point is 00:28:34 She made that serious expression. This is her mother talking. And only started crying after the umbilical cord was cut. She's looking at the doctor. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? The internet has predictably gone gaga
Starting point is 00:28:56 over the indelible image that Captain Isabella making a cross on man's face, which the proud mother said proves how brave her baby is. Here comes the mother with all the, my baby was born courageous. No, your fucking, your daughter was born pissed off. If she's not smoking weed
Starting point is 00:29:17 by the third grade to mellow out, I'll be worried. Those fucking eyes, mama mia. She says it's a meme already. She, she always wrinkles her forehead when changing diapers. So does Biden in nursing.
Starting point is 00:29:33 I don't wrinkle my forehead when I'm licking a titty. I'm smiling. Isabella is supposed to be born on the 20th. Listen, this is a mother talking, but she chose her day already showing her personality. Oh, come on, mom. Shut up!
Starting point is 00:29:49 Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I want to know what she's doing in five years. They put a little thing on her toe. You know how you put the name tags on her toe, it said future school shooter. Oh, I'm kidding. She's a doll. I'm sure you get a boob in her
Starting point is 00:30:11 mouth, she'll be burping away. What time did we start the show, Raz? Any idea? We're about 30 minutes in. 30 in. That's beautiful. I took out the trash yesterday the first time in a month. I found the block of cheese in one of the old coffee cups. Doctors are warning people. Breaking news. This is heavy-hitting news. We go from the debates.
Starting point is 00:30:41 Doctors, of course, this is in England, warning people not to insert frozen potatoes in their asses a number of online websites suggest a frozen french fry sized piece of potato inserted internally for 30 seconds is just the ticket for people who have hemorrhoids. I'm loving it. I used to stick them up there hot on a cold day. But I've had hemorrhoids. As you people know who've watched the show,
Starting point is 00:31:16 I had hemorrhoid surgery, what, a year or two ago, a year and a half ago? The fucking most painful thing I've ever gone through. I had to wear like a pad in my, bleeding like a stuck pig, every couch I sat on looked like Charlie Manson's fucking Sharon Tate's throw rugs, every time I got up, it was a blood stain, and you know, men have their period, it was the worst thing ever, but I never put a frozen potato up there. A couple of freeze pops, maybe a push-up. Because a raw potato is slightly acidic,
Starting point is 00:31:55 it apparently can relieve pain and itching while its frozen state constricts blood vessels in the sensitive zone. Here's what you need. Some blue cheese, some paprika, and it's right in the Barefoot Contessa book. They're called Asshole French Fries. Freedom Fries. Freedom from pain.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I can't even read now. Here's what you need to do. Peel a raw potato and cut it into thin slices like you do for french fries. Okay, you guys got that? Bon appetit. Put the slices into the freezer and wait until they are frozen. Insert the frozen potato slice in your anus and leave it inside for 30 seconds. You know, like sex.
Starting point is 00:32:38 Repeat the process for three to five days. Fuck it, you repeat it. What I'd do is put the fries back into the freezer, just as a joke, to get on Nick for the love of God. The next three to five days, leave the slice inside for 30 seconds, 30 seconds more each time. Delicious. Thank you. The potatoes have astringent properties and help relieve the pain and itching sensation, which usually happens with this condition. While the ice cold potato constricts the blood vessels, reduces the swelling, and relieves
Starting point is 00:33:11 your pain instantly. Hemorrhoids or piles, that's a gross name, piles, as they are commonly known as swollen or bulging veins in the, they're just varicose veins in your asshole. Raz, you must have them. No? You good? You must drink water and have, I would eat a whole pizza. I would eat a large pizza and not even drink anything.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Not even a sip of Coke. And then wonder why I tear my ass to shreds. I hate water. I drink Gatorade around the clock now. But Metamucil is the answer to all this. I'm not kidding you. Again, I know you're going, Nick, no, I'm telling you, nobody eats enough roughage. You have to take in half the rainforest to get a good dump, according to the health experts. Two tablespoons of Metamucil, you'll be passing stuff you ate in third grade, trust me.
Starting point is 00:34:05 was a Metamucil, you'll be passing stuff you ate in third grade. Trust me. It's estimated that one in 20 Brits will experience piles at least. I wonder when they take a shit if they call it Brexit. Look out! What? There are many causes for hemorrhoids, including pregnancy. That's how I got mine. And straining during a bowel movement. That's really how how i got mine i am not a big water drinker you come in if you walk into me if you walked in when i was in the bathroom i'm doing like a headstand on the toilet i'm in such pain long spells of sitting down constipation low fiber diet obesity la la la there's no medical evidence that putting a frozen potato inside the anus can help cure piles said dr diana gall so i would urge caution to anyone thinking of doing this. She doesn't want to fucking, she doesn't buy this shit.
Starting point is 00:34:51 I mean, who is she? I mean, right? Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Yeah, I did write a book. New moms who suffer with post-pregnancy piles have been trialing trendy food supplements. CBD oil.
Starting point is 00:35:08 Oh, my God. The CBD people are exploiting everything. You got cancer? Breast cancer? Rub CBD. The cancer goes away in two weeks. They're using it for, you want to cook French fries? Stick them in.
Starting point is 00:35:22 CBD oil. So they're saying CBD oil can actually shrink your hemorrhoids. Just another reason to. CBD absorbed and actually reached the internal hemorrhoids, admits a new mom. Please stop talking about this. Please. Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head.
Starting point is 00:35:46 Oh, for the love of Pete. Anyways, the doctor says don't say a fucking word to me I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head oh for the love of Pete anyways the doctor says don't do it I say do whatever you like you know frozen french fries why not frozen vegetables oh the acidity I still say
Starting point is 00:36:03 blow pops you know the red white and blue ones go about right up to the blue line Oh, the acidity. I still say blow pops. You know, the red, white, and blue ones go about right up to the blue line. Oh, Nick, what is going on? Hey, I found this clip, and I really like this girl. This is a lesbian, a young lesbian gal. And she, the gist of the story is, she said the LGBT community and the left have lost their fucking mind. Listen to this.
Starting point is 00:36:32 She's going to become a conservative. Leave the madness behind. A feminist and lesbian YouTuber. She's quitting the LGBT community because of increasingly intolerant action by pro-transgender and woke activists towards lesbians. So she's really not reason. She's leaving it because it's attacking her. And I mean, you should have left it years ago.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Sweetie. Ariel. Scarcella. Nice Italian chick. You should have left it years ago. But this is how we are. Once it touches home with us. See, this is Libs eating Libs.
Starting point is 00:37:11 And by the way, the only Libs I want to see eating Libs is a gay woman. That's me. Who's with me? Bon appetit. Anyways, this is Arielle Scarcella. And I really do appreciate people who wake up and smell the coffee. You know, this is her telling you how crazy it's gotten. I'm not one of them.
Starting point is 00:37:39 Hi, I'm Arielle. I'm a lesbian. And I don't think gender is a social construct. I don't think cis straight white men are evil. I don't believe that genital preferences are transphobic or that there are 97 genders. I don't think that male sex offenders belong in women's prisons. I don't think it's normal for people to be praised for walking around with shirts that say kill turfs. I don't think like these people and I no longer want to be associated with them. I've reached peak LGBT. This is my coming out video. Never in my life have i been more cancelled
Starting point is 00:38:05 tortured tormented harassed than my members of my own community never have i witnessed literal mentally ill individuals who are laughing themselves yeah did you see that one look at these two look at this girl's playing horseshoes playing horseshoes. Wow. I have a theory about that too. For every nose piercing and thing, that's a 10 years of quality time your parents didn't spend with you.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Look at her shit, Kermit. Yeah, draw more attention to your dog face. What is she, a cults fan? Off to the LGBT community without actually being LGBT for the sake of oppression points, external validation and sympathy. Never have I seen such disrespect from younger LGBT people to the older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender advocates who have been paving the way for us for
Starting point is 00:38:57 longer than we've all been alive. Never have I seen people that use the word bigot so frequently and not see the hypocrisy and irony in themselves saying it. Some of you have noticed this change coming onto my channel within the past two years as I've gotten what some people would say more conservative. And yeah, I have, haven't I? Since the queer movement right now is obsessed with all these different labels and I am a fan of labels, I wanted to share a new label of mine with you. I'm coming out. I am officially leaving the left. When it's gotten to the point where I can no longer even list LGBT or women empowerment in my Instagram and Twitter bios without people thinking I'm part of this ridiculously woke cult. Mental illness. And a pecking order of who is able
Starting point is 00:39:35 to speak and for how long. Even about the bodies and experience. I think it's tough. Try being a white guy in his 50s. You want to catch a rash of shit? of whole time i'm listening to her i'm picturing her making out with abroad is that wrong all right go ahead experiences when we have children drag queens and think it's okay for them to perform sexually for adults when we praise news stories like this that make absolutely no sense and do nothing for our movement or for people understanding us when this person is praised by lgbt organizations and deemed a speaker for life people say that straight black men are the white men of black people, and I know what they mean. I no longer wish to be a part of this.
Starting point is 00:40:10 The LGBT community has become a safe haven for the mentally unstable who are not seeking help and who also aren't in any sense of the word queer. We've become so obsessed with validating everybody. How did we not see this coming? I did. We did. Pause. We did. And we spoke up. And you call this bigots and whatever the fuck and homophobes. We start coming a mile away. Slippery slope. Slippery slope. That's the real. I don't give a fuck. I mean, I'm just saying because I'm
Starting point is 00:40:39 not I get I get labeled conservative, which, as you know me, I'm the fucking a real conservative. You know, Mike Pence might would have a problem with the game. I don't give a fucking. But the get labeled conservative which as you know me i'm the fucking a real conservative you know uh mike pence might would have a problem with the game you know i don't give a fucking but the point being is um real conservatives would say look remember gay marriage and all that was a problem and they were saying slippery slope and and the gay community so that's bullshit but now we're to the point where i don't want to confuse gay and transgender, but sorry, you're all in the same basket, just like us deplorables. You start, you know, we get to the point where a guy can say he's a girl and vice versa and whatever, all bets are off, okay? Ridiculously intolerant while preaching love that for the first time in a decade, LGBT acceptance is down. Anyone
Starting point is 00:41:23 who goes against the grain and thinks for themselves is immediately outcast. You just realized that now? That's a five-mind cult. Once again, my name is Arielle. I'm a lesbian YouTuber. I've been making content on this platform for 10 years. And I no longer want to be associated with the ridiculously woke left. I know you guys understand where I'm coming from.
Starting point is 00:41:38 And I know you'll stick around. So I'm not worried about any of this. I just wanted to give you guys a heads up and let you know what I'm currently feeling. And I will see you guys back here in a few days. This is rape. This is rape. If you haven't already.
Starting point is 00:41:52 Okay, we gave her a nice plug. She woke up. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. But you didn't see all that coming, Ariel? You didn't, you know, huh? They're too crazy for her. I mean, come on, man.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Transgender people just talk about bigoted. They hate everybody who doesn't have a green crew cut and a fucking 19 rings in their tits. Yes? We actually have a patriarch question. A patriarch? I thought you said a patriarch question. Yes. On transgenders. So this is like a patriarch question a patreon i thought you said a patriarch question yes on transgenders uh so this is like a longer question i just shortened it down to what it all right all right ryan l blackstone blackstone mass didn't even know there was such a place
Starting point is 00:42:37 since you seem to love trans people that's see it's in quotes meaning he's being sarcastic would you ever identify a person by a pronoun other than he or she? No, I wouldn't. I'd go with they. I've had this theory. I'd go with they if they're over 400 pounds. That goes for straight people, transgender, you're they. Hey, they are blocking the sidewalk.
Starting point is 00:43:01 They are taking all the ice cream. the sidewalk they are taking all the ice cream uh no i'm not i'm not gonna let somebody impose this stupid their objective is to re tear down the society as we have it and rebuild it the way again you know what again let's let me remind you again transgender makes up what 0.001 percent of the world population? And we're supposed to change our language? Fuck the fuck off, they, he, she, it. That answer your question? I wonder what Bernie would say.
Starting point is 00:43:40 They, it, the 1% transgender violence against black women. Yes, there's been three cases of that on the planet. Let's make that an epidemic, Liz Warren, you cheese ass. Anyways, what time do we start? I must not have slept last night. I feel dog shit. All that drinking and shit I did in Connecticut, it's hitting me now.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I was going to go to the gym, but I think I'm going to land at this desk until 7.30. We're at what? 40 minutes? We're at 45? Boy, do I give you people a show. It's like fucking Billy Joel in the early 70s, ain't it? Yeah, let's close with this one.
Starting point is 00:44:24 This is a beauty. Herpes riddled monkeys like we don't have enough problem with coronavirus. Herpes riddled monkeys rampage as humans infected by out of control macaws. Rhesus macaws.
Starting point is 00:44:41 Those are those monkeys. It's always the rhesus monkeys. The chocolate and peanut butter ones. Apparently they're raping people. They're raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape.
Starting point is 00:44:54 I think I have a solution. There go the monkeys. Hey, did you know there was an island of monkeys off of South Carolina? Are you trying to make me make a racist joke is there really because yeah they were like test subjects for something they just been like isolated out there you can't even get close to it are you and your buddies gonna go visit that island this weekend with your moonshine see what happens when you get them drunk raz is going camping with a couple other black dudes and they they got moonshine. That's why I love the South. No, what island's that?
Starting point is 00:45:29 Do people go on it? No, they don't let people nearby at all. The monkeys will fucking tear them up. This is creepy. Is there footage? Yeah, I'll have to find it. I'll send it to you. Okay.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Oh, my God. Monkeys infected with herpes are running rampant in Florida. It's soon going to multiply out of control with attacks on humans expected to rise. Rhesus macaws are the rampage on the banks of the Silver River in Florida. They're constantly breeding and expanding their range. Scientists have said their population expands. They will continue to come into contact with humans, leading to more scratches, bites, and potential fatal infection. What are you trying to do, wrestle them?
Starting point is 00:46:10 I'm scared shit of monkeys. I told you, we did an episode of Louie, and the episode was going to be a guy shows up in a card game with a monkey, and I'm scared shit of it. But I was so scared of the real monkey that he was sensing it. And the guy goes, if he senses, the trainer goes, if you guys do a scene and you start getting loud, he'll jump in and start swinging at people.
Starting point is 00:46:35 I go, I'm out. I'm fucking getting out of here. It turns out, though, the person training the monkey was supposed to be in the scene, and he couldn't act for shit, so he fucking slashed it. I was so happy. I am scared shit of monkeys. After that lady got her face bitten off in Connecticut, oh, my God. Anyways, listen to this.
Starting point is 00:46:56 The monkey population is expected to double over the next two years. That could mean almost 400 monkeys sprawling the riverbanks. Again, there's a simple solution. 400 monkeys sprawling the riverbanks. Again, there's a simple solution. Get Ted Nugent and a bunch of fucking... He'll fend that out in a half hour. I mean, how can't you be scared of this little... Will you fucking look at the face on this thing?
Starting point is 00:47:19 I'd trust Liz Warren before I'd trust this. Look at that scary little fucker. 25% of them are carrying the herpes B virus. It's believed 21 people have been killed by herpes, passed on to them from monkeys. God, somebody was fucking a monkey somewhere. You know it, I know it i know it and the last known fatal infection was 1997
Starting point is 00:47:49 um but according to joe bye bye according to joe biden 120 million people were killed by monkeys herpes since 2004 monkey populations on the rise will inevitably lead to more conflict with humans. Excuse me. Corona. And the monkeys often menace groups of park users as they hunt for food. Professor Johnson said, I understand why they don't want to address the issue. It's a lose-lose situation.
Starting point is 00:48:21 But if they do nothing, they're potentially opening up a barrel of monkey. Oh, you know what? Somebody ought to put a gun in his mouth. The monkeys are invasive. The monkeys are invasive speech, and it is believed they were brought for a tourist attraction in the 1930s. Maybe that's the island. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. No?
Starting point is 00:48:40 I should have saved this for the bonus time. Guess where they came from? Well, first of all, the local legend, however, recalls monkeys escaped from the set of a Tarzan movie. Oh, God. File that was filmed at Silver Springs during the 30s and 40s. The species is native to parts of Afghanistan, Pakistan, India, China. Do they ever give us anything?
Starting point is 00:49:04 Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Hakka Sherpa Sherpa. Abakala. You gave us ISIS. You give us ricin, herpy monkeys. Anyways, that's enough. He let six of these macabre
Starting point is 00:49:22 monkeys loose on the island as part of the attraction. But they escaped and established a population. I did that whole story with no racist jokes whatsoever. Somebody make a note. Fucking ridiculous. What a world, huh? Coronavirus, herpy monkeys, Liz Warren.
Starting point is 00:49:47 So the ones in South Carolina, it's called Morgan Island. Morgan Island. Don't say it's named after Morgan Friedman. I will fire you. That would be racist. It's north of Beaufort, which is like an hour from here. Less than. North of Beaufort, South Carolina.
Starting point is 00:50:02 And it's like 4,000 racist monkeys out there. How do I not fucking know this? So if you want to commit suicide, like you want to get AIDS, you just go to that island? Yeah. In a Speedo with a couple of fucking 11 bananas sticking out of the back? Oh, my God. We're going there. Do people, like, go around it in a boat looking at it?
Starting point is 00:50:24 I'm sure you can. Not me. I'm afraid a bunch will jump in the water and they can swim like motherfuckers. I don't know. Anyways, that's it, folks. We covered everything from the dumb debates to herpes and monkeys. I mean, a full show today.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Don't forget to donate at nickdip.com because again, the show is free now and I could use it. Uh, click on, uh, the contact button. Uh, if you have a company, you want to sponsor the show, hit, hit me up at nickdip.com. We'll talk about getting a relationship going. And, uh, um, what else? It starts at five o'clock now, 5 PM Eastern time.
Starting point is 00:51:02 The show, we drop it Monday through through thursday go ahead razzle and patreon members get exclusive encore videos well said exclusive encore videos and uh questions to me and uh for uh patreon members exclusively we'll leave that up there and uh but uh we appreciate your support either way that's. You guys think and I will say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo We'll see you next time.

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