The Nick DiPaolo Show - Best Bows Out | Nick DiPaolo Show #392

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

Seattle police chief resigns. Trump taken away by secret service. Girl screams "I can't breathe" while looting. FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, Nick DiPaolo here. As you know, my show exists because of viewer support. We need your support. And Patreon is a great way to support this show. If you become a Patreon member, you're a monthly subscriber, you will get an encore presentation story that nobody else gets. You will get to ask me a question during the show. You will have access to all the previous shows. a question during the show, you will have access to all the previous shows. You also could get a Nick DiPaolo mug or a signed CD, depending on what level you sign up at. Your support is really necessary. So subscribe today so you can hear your name mentioned on the show tomorrow when I read out people who have made donations.

It's more important now than ever. And I thank you for your time. And we'll see you down the road. guitar solo All righty. Yeah. Hi, how are you? Hi, I'm Mike Lindell. I'm now making sheets. I get them between the Nile River and a puddle in Newark.

Some of the finest cotton picked by some of the finest minorities in the world. What the fuck's his advertising budget? Jesus Christ, is he on TV a lot? Crack Cat invents a pillow. What are the odds? crackhead invents a pillow what are the odds i really gotta stop smoking i got the fucking teeth of a hillbilly from west virginia nice brown and yellow coffee fucking what do i give a shit as many of you know yesterday's episode of my show was taken down by youtube because they don't like the truth. Uh, no, no specific reason was

given. So, um, you know, it's not the first time currently we're testing a new platform that will allow me to do and say whatever the fuck I want and continue to tell the goddamn truth without being censored. It'll be ready soon. And then I'm going to make the jump off YouTube. In the meantime, and this is very important, focus, focus. Please go to nickdip.com, click on the contact page to add your email to my mailing list. We will notify everyone of the new platform when the time is right. The show will continue to be free, but you'll only find out through our mailing list. So again, please go to nickdip.com, click on the contact page to join my mailing list.

I want to thank all you people who are in the chat room when we premiere at 5 o'clock. We really appreciate those super chats like this one from yesterday. This is from Jim Dandy. Does anyone else miss when they used fire hoses on rioters? Well, I've brought that up many times, Jim. I hope you're not trying to steal an original idea I mentioned. Don't forget the police dogs, too. Just look at some footage of a

summer Alabama in the 50s and kind of recreate that scene only this time it'll be entitled white kids getting bit and blasted with hoses and a few black people who are brainwashed but yes I miss that very much a lot of these people from

Antigua and these anarchists they don't wash their asses. They could use a good blasting. Who's with me? Here are some dates. I haven't mentioned these in about a nanosecond. September 17th through the 19th at Plaza Hotel Casino in Vegas. October 2nd, Jonathan's in a gunk with Maine.

October 10th, stand-up live at Huntsville, Alabama. October 11th, Zany's Comedy Club in Nashville, Tennessee. November 19th, the Improv Rally, North Carolina. Come on out to see me. Again, barring COVID and all the faggoty governors. Look at this. Look at this fella. Here's a fan of mine.

He's on what they call a bulk carrier. He's commanding it. It's in Vancouver. I think he said it was built in Libya or some shit. Look at that thing, huh? Look at the pollution dripping out of those things in the back. That reminds me of Gamora. That's the type of shit.

This ship brings those giant, you see them at ports. You know, they lift off the big containers. That's what that is, I believe. But the guy commanding it has my shirt on. That makes me very nervous. That thing's going to end up on a beach in fucking New Jersey. Good looking guy, too. Gets a lot of ass up on the Lido deck.

Thank you so much, too. Gets a lot of ass up on the Lido deck. Thank you so much, pal. Excellent. We got them everywhere, folks. We got fans everywhere. The UK, Ireland. Ships heading to fucking Timbuktu. Breaking news this morning. Breaking news, ladies and gentlemen.

In a decision sending shockwaves through her department chief carmen best pictured here who has spent her entire 20-year career as a seattle police officer will announce her resignation and retirement tuesday morning according to multiple sources familiar with the situation bye bye this was a difficult decision for me she said even though i know she doesn't mean that because jenny dirk and the fucking governor is one dumb cunt but when it's time it's time she said best wrote that an email to her 1400 offices hours after the seattle city council the fucking moron liberal jackoffs voted to cut spd's, including 100 SWAT offices, the SWAT team, navigation team, and the chief's

own salary. I think that's what probably did it, don't you think? I saw her in the news during the riots, and she's a hardcore cop and just wants the best for Seattle. And I actually liked her, you know, and you can't blame her. They're going to cut her salary on top of it. How does that help anybody? She disagreed with all that shit that this governor allowed. She says, oh, this is Jenny Durkin. She wrote the Seattle Police Department staff members an email like she cares about him. This fucking vile twat.

While I understand the chief's reasons, I accepted her decision with a very heavy heart. I hope it's a giant tumor that's weighing it down, you pig face. I've had the privilege to be with Chief Carmen Best in so many situations, with her family at roll calls and community meetings and nearly weekly meetings addressing public safety. Her grit, grace, and delicious black skin have made me wet as a puddle. Durkin's a muncher. You know that, don't you? I just reminded myself. Her grace, grit, and integrity have inspired me and made our city better.

Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. She didn't mean a word of it. The first female African-American to ever serve as Seattle's police chief. Best rose through the ranks from a patrol officer in the East Precinct to sergeant, lieutenant, captain, and deputy chief. Pissing off a lot of white fellas, I'm sure. She voiced her resistance to the city council's plan to slash the department's budget by 50%. Of course she did. plan to slash the department's budget by 50 percent of course she did and the decision for officers to leave the east precinct in june when the capitol hill occupied protest or chop took over several blocks surrounding the building for weeks she said it was not my decision regarding

officers vacating the precinct after weeks of violent clashes with protesters in surrounding streets of course it wasn't it was a dumb governor's decision. Can you blame this woman? 28 years, good for you. Get a nice high-paying desk job. She says, I am confident the department will make it through these difficult times, even though the governor is a retarded lesbian. What? You truly are the best police department in the country. And please trust me when I say the vast majority of people in Seattle support you and appreciate you. Yeah, well, they're not showing it. Neither Bess nor Durkin referenced the city council's actions

as a reason for the decision, but sources close to Bess say she had been deliberating stepping down recently, but may have decided after Monday night's vote by the council to reduce the SPD's budget

while vowing to make more cuts in the coming. Of course, that was the reason. Why would you want to be the chief of police of a force that doesn't have the money or the resources? And every time they try to enforce the law, they get arrested and then you as chief will be responsible. Good for you. Good for you. So, best wishes, Miss Best. Let's get right to it. This was the big story yesterday.

I was watching this press conference when it happened. Did you see Trump giving a press conference and ship some shit went down? President Trump was abruptly removed from a White House press briefing Monday after Secret Service shot a suspect. Oh, I think they got him. What's left of him is his left hand, and they found a left nut. After the Secret Service shot a suspect outside the White House, the Secret Service confirmed a male suspect, Jewish, a senator from Vermont, very bitter, had been shot and taken away. I did not pull a gun. I got shot in the ass.

The Secret Service said in a statement that an adult man carrying a firearm approached the perimeter in his pajamas. Obviously, it was Joe Biden. Three people tackled him. When the suspect did not respond to verbal commands, he was shot once by a Secret Service agent and taken into custody. Should have had a sign person to... The shooting... The Secret Service recovered

a firearm at the scene. There was a shooting. Here's Trump. I was watching it when the guy comes in and it reminded me of Bush when he was reading that child's book and they said, look, uh a couple of dirty filthy middle eastern jerk offs just blew up the towers but here you go now dow jones are going to be i mean the way they're going it looks like they're just about going to be topping records hopefully soon. Excuse me. Excuse me.

I love playing with buttons. Oh, I am worried, but this is what reminded me, if he does get reelected, I am sincerely worried about his fucking future, as far as psychos go. Because if you look at almost every assassination attempt, it was by the left, which falls into line with their failed politics. And if you look, know your history, the left is always the violent ones. Anyways, so Trump said there was a shooting. It was law enforcement shot. Someone seems to be the suspect and the suspect is now on the way to the hospital,

the president said when he returned to the podium mr trump said the shooting occurred outside the fencing and that he was taken to the oval office it might not have had anything to do with me he said at first i thought it was that uh dirty stripper who said i her what was her name come on res No, Raz. It might have been something else, he said. Anyways, the shooting took place on 17th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue around the White House. Law enforcement agents scrambled as it happened. The briefing was scheduled to address signing executive measures aimed at addressing the economic fallout from coronavirus. But that may face challenges in court. You can tell this is a left-wing, what was the name? Stormy Daniels. How the fuck did I just remember that? Stormy Daniels. Sounds like a weatherman

from Dallas. There's a weatherman not in Dallas. His name is Dallas Rains. They always have these. Let's throw it over to Light Winds. The briefing was scheduled to sign executive measures. Before he took office, Mr. Trump bashed former... Again, this is from the Washington Post or CBS. Instead of just giving you the story, they have to give you and they have to do their op-ed. Before he took office, Trump bashed former President Obama for employing executive actions to accomplish his agenda while he was president. And then they put up an old tweet from July of 2012 of Trump's.

Why is that Barack Obama constantly issuing executive orders that are major power grabs of authority? That was a good question then. Do you understand? Because he didn't have the resistance of everybody in Washington against him. He didn't have Republicans that would refuse to talk to Obama about anything. That's why Trump has to do it. He's even got people

on the right. RINOs. Like that asshole Ben Sasse from Nebraska. That's why he has to do executive orders. because fucking ignorant people like pelosi and chuck schumer are like children to deal with that's why he's doing it obama had everybody licking his ass

mr trump insists he doesn't need congress to appropriate these dollars, although not all his own party agrees. The president, this is in the article about shots being fired outside the White House. Can't you stick to the story, can you, you goo goblers? The president last out a Republican senator, Ben Sasse, for calling, yeah, there you go, for calling his executive actions unconstitutional. That's what he said about that, Mama Luke. Let's stay on Trump. Here's a new book out.

A Harper Collins book by Breitbart editor Jerome Hudson. That's a brother. He looks like he's, well, from the eyebrows up, he looks like a black Larry Fine from the Stooges. Hey, Moe, I did that. But he's got a book out. I read this guy. Very bright.

50. I like this guy. He's bright. He's articulate. He's handsome. He's clean. You know. Anyways, he's got a book out and he's defending Trump, okay? And he's black. And I and uh and he's defending trump okay publishing powerhouse harper collins has released the cover of bright barge new entertainment editor jerome hudson's latest book 50 things they don't want to know they don't want you to know about trump which promises uh to deliver counterintuitive facts about the president's first term that the establishment

media have worked so hard to ignore. Can you stay cataclysmic? You are fake news, sir. You can't handle the truth. The ultimate collection of facts about what President Donald Trump accomplished in his first term. Facts your professors, your politicians in D.C., TV pundits, and Hollywood celebrities don't want you to know. And they include, here's some of them, President Trump allocated more

funding to historically black colleges and universities than any other president. You are correct, sir. The poverty rate for black and Hispanic Americans dropped to an all-time low in 2018. You are correct, sir. The famous Muslim ban excluded 87% of the world's Muslims. You are correct, sir. That means it only banned 13%. Blue-collar workers enjoyed three times the wage growth of the top 1% of households.

You are correct, sir. the wage growth of the top 1% of households. You are correct, sir. Median household income reached $65,666 in 2019, the highest level on record. You are correct, sir. From his first month in office, Trump presided over the largest manufacturing boom in a first term since the 1970s. You are correct, sir. Trump has been tougher on Putin thans. You are correct. Trump has been tougher on Putin than Obama. You are correct. The Trump Department of Justice has opened more than a thousand cases against the world's top intellectual property thieves as America loses trillions to the dirty Chinese. You are correct. Trump prioritized breaking the Chinese monopoly on rare earth elements and the U.S. is digging for them for the first time since the Manhattan Project.

You are correct, sir. We're not talking about New York. That was a bomb. Border crossings plummeted by 78% from March of 2019 to March of 2020. You are correct, sir. Democrats began calling for Trump's impeachment months before he was even the nominee. You are correct, sir. began calling for Trump's impeachment months before he was even the nominee. You are correct,

sir. Violent crime has fallen every year since Trump took office after rising the last two years under the Marxist cocksucker. You are correct, sir. Trump's federal agencies are investigating the big tech giants monopolistic practices. You are correct, sir. Americans have not been told the whole story about the Trump presidency. What we have seen is an endless stream, this is him talking, of so-called scandals and establishment media narratives that Americans do not care about. What you are not told is how the President Trump created the number one economy in the world, drove down illegal immigration, confronted Silicon Valley's tech takeover, took on our adversaries, China and Russia and Iran.

Just the facts, man. So get that book. We should get him on, Raz. I mean, we had Joel Pollack on from, love to get this guy on. He looks like a black Ben Franklin, actually. Well, not there. In this shot. Anyways.

But seriously, all that shit I just mentioned, you wouldn't find that. You could scour CNN, MSNBC, CBS, NBC News. Unreal. It was great. I was watching Tucker last night. it was great. I was watching Tucker last night and he was talking about how all that shit went on in Chicago and Portland

Sunday night that we showed yesterday. CNN, NBC, MSNBC, no mention of it. None of it. Instead, they focused on all those bikers, those white bikers with their Harleys going to Sturgis and how they're going to be a super spreader.

That's what they're, can you imagine out and out lying motherless fucks? Now clean it up. Okay, I don't like them. I don't like them at all. Let's stay on Trump some more. One of his, you guys remember Scaramucci? Scaramucci, Scaramucci, when you do the Van Damme, the Thunderbolt and Lightning,

very, very frightening. Go, go, Leo. I used to be able to sing that, but after a pack and a half. Remember Scaramucci, the anti-Scaramucci? He worked for Trump for literally like 10 minutes. I thought I was going to like him because the first time they interviewed him, he dropped about eight F-bombs and cocksucker and like, all right. But then he turned out to be a two-face, uh, Jackoff. Uh,

so he hates Trump now. Trump said he begged to get his job back at the white house. That's Trump's version. Who knows? But this guy is a typical, when people talk about loudly abrasive New Yorkers and how arrogant, this guy just like sums it up perfectly. He made a lot of money and he had about 10 minutes of fame. So now he, you know, he's on all those other networks I just mentioned shitting all over Trump. Well, he was on with Steve Hilton. That's a Fox News show called The New Revolution or something like that. The Next Revolution. And so this Steve Hilton's a sharp dude. He's bald, blue-eyed devil, English, I think. Anyways, he had scary mooch on and it was good. It got a little heat, not heated, but here's a couple clips. I don't even remember what the clips are about.

You're now supporting a candidate who literally wants to shut down a school choice program that enables black and Hispanic low-income children to go to university. That's what you now want to do. You want to shut that down. Why? Well, first of all, that's totally not true. And it is true. It is in that I'm playing a long game. I am playing the long game, playing the long game. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. I'm playing the law. What a fucking bag of wind. I'm playing the law.

What a fucking bag of wind. Go ahead. It's the same tripe you've been hearing. Trump's a racist and shit. He's just a bitter guy who's made it, you know, made a lot of money for himself. But now he's just an empty suit. Go ahead. He is dividing people. He's incensing people.

He's blowing a racist dog whistle. Oh, my God. You smoke cocksucker. Fuck you. Blowing a racist dog whistle. What did you have drinks with Rachel Maddow last night at the clam lappers? Racial dog whistle. How fucking dare you? At least he uses a dog whistle. Biden just comes right out and says it. Hey, you a cocaine or a junkie black fucking interviewer. Come on, man. What else did Biden say recently about black people? I can't even remember the comments so fast and furious. Razzle remember he black.

Huh? Oh, yeah. No diversity in the African-American community. Razor, remember, he black. Huh? Oh, yeah, no diversity in the African-American community. No dog whistle there, Mr. Scaramucci. Biden's like this. Hey, black people, you ain't black. You ain't even diverse. Wash your ass. I like clean, articulate black people.

Go ahead. The president of the United States is a bully. The president of the United States is a bully. The president of the United States is a divider, and he lies about the science. You've said that many times. You're a creep. Get away from me. He's a bully. He's a racist, and he calls himself a Republican.

He says it needs to be. I had to shut it off. It was giving me a Republican. He says it needs to, I had to shut it off. It was giving me a headache. We have to read, we have to expand the tapestry of the Republican party to include more people. Those are ideas we've been hearing since the late eighties. No, we don't. We have to narrow it down like Trump did to the people who love this country. Fuck your diversity and all that horseshit. People who believe in the constitution, I don't care what color they are. We have a bigger mosaic, a bigger tent. How big does a tent have to be?

Just enough to cover Chop or Chaz, whatever the fuck. We need a party that's filled with old white crusty motherfuckers. That's racist. Not if you're black. So that was pretty interesting. He's out there and he's still pissed. Speaking of diversity and, you know, black people are waking up. And I said it yesterday on this show that he's Trump's going to do very well.

I really don't think with black. And by the way, the ship is turning already. The numbers, the Biden gap is narrowing. You know, by by this time of next month, Trump will be three points ahead. I could be wrong, but some black people really get it. Well, this girl looks black, but she said she isn't. Raz says she's black, and Raz knows. Raz is black. It's like gay people can tell them gay people are gay.

Here's a clip of a girl at a, and I almost showed my racist streak. I think she's black. She said she's not doesn't matter she's brown okay a light tan color uh anyway she's at a rally and i'm like oh here we go you're gonna lecture white people and she's on the trump side she's on the right side and she had this to say to some of the people that she me the video. Show me the numbers. Show me the news reports. Oh wait, it's not true. You don't have the evidence.

Ah, pause! Ha ha ha ha! I am here! I have things to say! Ha ha! Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it. I am here. I have things to say. Love you, honey. You hear that? That's the salient point. Trump ought to hire her.

I've been waiting for 40 years for a Republican, a white person to say, show me the clips of a gang of white people beating up an old black lady. Send them my way. Well, they did that back in 1860. Oh, you had to go back fucking three centuries. Okay, let my girlfriend roll. What the fuck up?

Are you black? No. It doesn't matter if I am. I'm American. Yeah, exactly. Red, white, and blue, baby. And nobody, everyone tries to guess my ethnicity, nobody ever figures it out. You don't know if I'm Puerto Rican, you don't know if I'm Egyptian, you don't know if I'm

Ethiopian, you don't know what I am. And it doesn't fucking matter. You're all Americans. Exactly. I'm American. And I'm fighting for this country. My parents are veterans. My great- great grandfather was the first black police officer in the state of South Carolina

this is my fucking country get the fuck out of here with your white liberal bullshit fuck you I don't have time for it fuck you alright I gotta go back to business red mill rage on YouTube red mill rage alright alright

doesn't matter if she's black All right, all right, all right. Doesn't matter if she's black, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Egyptian, not with those fun bags that don't. She dropped a lot of F-bombs. She's got that anger in her. Like myself. She's black, Rez? I don't know. Why wouldn't she just say yeah?

When people ask me if I'm black, I say yeah. She's trying to prove she's American. Trying to prove she's American. What do you mean? Black people American? Well, you know what I'm saying. No, I don't, Rez. She's out there around a bunch of white people. It doesn't matter if I'm black or not. I'm American. It's just the point she's trying to make. That's what I'm trying to say.

Okay. I don't understand it. I think it's racist, but know, I'm American. It's just the points she's trying to make. That's what I'm trying to say. Okay, I don't understand it. I think it's racist, but I don't get it. I'm so confused now. Again, Patrice O'Neill said I was black. Keith Robinson, my two black comedian friends. Why are you always... Nick, why are you always defending white people?

You ain't even white. I go, yeah, thanks to your great great great grandfathers that fucking raped and pillaged Sicily I should look like fucking Buffy from Family Affair or Conan O'Brien but you know what I thank you for the black

blood gave me a nice fucking tan and the broads loved it speaking of black people, black women, you remember Kim Fox? You remember Jussie Smollett, the prosecutor, the fat black broad from, you know, well, we have a picture of her right here. You remember her? There she is stretching out before she plays some tennis or before she jogs down to Krispy Kreme. Holy shit, you could fuck her kneecaps. See her left leg up on the bed with her hand on it?

Does that look like that shit emoji? kim foxx a chicago prosecutor criticized over the handling of the jesse smollett case is tossing felony cases at a higher rate than her predecessor according to a new report well of course she is of course she is you fat nasty black bitch look her. She looks like a young refrigerator Perry with a wig on. Don't she? Data analyzed by the Chicago Tribune shows that Fox's office dropped all charges and 29.9% of felony cases in her first three years as Cook County State's attorney. In her first three years as Cook County State's attorney, as compared to 19.4% from the former prosecutor, Anita Alvarez. In her three years in office.

Of course she did. Most of them are black, and I said it again, I don't care if you call me racist, they can't be objective. I don't want them on my jury. Not all of them, but like her, she's in a position of power, and she can't be objective. I don't want them on my jury. Not all of them, but like her, she's in a position of power and she can't be honest. Thank you, affirmative action. A total of 25,183 defendants whose felony cases were prosecuted under Fox saw their charges tossed through November of 2019. under Fox saw their charges tossed through November of 2019. 25,000. That number is up from 18,000 over a similar period under Alvarez.

Okay? Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. The toss cases involve some of the most serious charges, murder, sex crimes, drug offenses offenses and attack on police officers but fox defended her office's work as dismissing cases against low-level non-violent offenders allowing prosecutors to focus on violent crimes what a fucking liar liar whore liar whore you know does she understand this they keep statistics you can't't change facts. You threw out murder and felony charges. And you're going,

we only let the nonviolent. The fuck can we have? We have it. We have it here. I'm going to find out what happened here. Raz, your ride's here. I will say this.

I will say that this administration, this is her talking, has been clear that our focus would be on Krispy Kreme and grits. She said our focus would be on violent crime and making sure that our resources and attention would go to address violent crime.

You're a lying fat chocolate pig. You're lying. Do words mean anything anymore in this country? after all 16 felony counts against Empire Goo Gobbler actor Smollett, who was accused of staging a hate crime beatdown, were abruptly dropped by her office in March of 29. Remember that? By the way, he was out marching in New York with all the anti-cop people.

Should be home licking somebody's balls. A special prosecutor was assigned to probe Fox's handling of the Smollett case, and a grand jury indicted the troubled actor on new charges in February. His efforts to get the fresh charges, six counts of disorderly conduct related to false statements to Chicago police, he wanted to have him tossed, but you know what? He's been unsuccessful. wanted to have him tossed, but you know what? He's been unsuccessful. The tub of lard Fox 48 is up for reelection in November after winning the Democratic nomination in March. Even after she proved she was a fraud with a Smollett case, a high profile national case, she proved that she is not capable of being honest. And that race fucking obsesses her.

Even after all that, you and Chicago voted her in. You get what you asked for. So how's she doing? How's Lori Lightfoot doing? The black gay woman the mayor of Chicago how are they doing don't say racist speaking of Chicago Raz uh Raz you weren't from Chicago though what were you doing in Chicago you had a girl you had a bitch up in there

doing in Chicago? You had a girl, you had a bitch up in there? What were you doing in Chicago? I forget. My wife was in school. So we lived up there for two years. Where'd she go? Northwest? Midwestern. Midwestern? Yeah, that's not like Northwestern. That's like going to DeVry.

DeVry. Raz's wife is a pharmacist, right? Unbelievable. And he's not even hooked on all that shit everybody else is hooked on. Fentanyl. I like to give that shit a shot. I need something to relax me. Anyways.

So Sunday night we showed the footage. I didn't show the car ramming into the window of the store in chicago but we showed all the looting and shit going on in chicago amidst the widespread race riots and mass looting in downtown chicago following a police-involved shooting of an armed suspect yeah he shot at the cops for us video has emerged of a female looter screaming i can't breathe while running through a store searching for a device to remove security tags from canada goose merchandise i've run through a store saying i can't breathe either i had to take a wicked dump i was at marshals uh anyways here's the video i want you to listen to her street language and how ignorant and how stupid i can't even believe that she grew up in this just listen to how stupid

she is. Hold on. Hold on. Let me see. Hold on. Did they say Valentina? Yeah, Valentina. They say Doce Gabbana? What? Hold on. Let me find me something first. Hold on. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

You're insulting George Floyd. His grandma is sick. Where the extra lodges at? What you got? What you got? Hey, how you get these Canada Gooses off? How you get these Canada Gooses off? Pause.

How you get these Canada Gooses off? Like any other goose with your right hand. Go ahead. They over there. They over there. Translator. How the fuck do you get that? How the fuck?

There ain't no scissors in this bitch. Ain't no scissors in this bitch. Pause. I heard that when I't no scissors in this bitch. Pause. I heard that when I had shoulder surgery in high school. I had a black surgeon. It's the last thing I heard before I passed out. There ain't no scissors up in this bitch. Go ahead.

The fuck? You know it, because I'm a girl, baby. What folks says about this family, I do. Hey, can y'all just tell the group that you can always tell a lady but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hawk.

Well-loading. Well-loading. But remember, all people are alike. There's no difference. Doesn't matter the skin color. Just remember that we're all, we have blood and bones. I'm not being sarcastic. We're all alike.

Hey guys, our friends at thedonaldstuff.com have taken their designs and created a new line of face masks. The way they see it, if they're going to make us wear these goddamn things to get groceries and such, you might as well show off your true colors and show your support. Check these out. That's kind of nice looking, actually. I like that as a, I don't know, a bra. Hell no. Oh my God. He's obsessed with these fucking Trump and Pace. What's his name? Pace? Pence. Trump and Pace. I'll tell you what a ticket is Donald if he did a fucking cycle of roids. Defund the police.

Yeah, wear that shit. Those are pretty nice colors. Anyways, as you know, theDonaldStuff.com are great supporters of the show. We hope you'll support them, too. Make sure that when you purchase, you use the promo code Nick to get 10% off everything at theDonaldStuff.com. And we thank them for sponsoring the show, everybody. Let's lighten it up with a nice light story that we can feel good about

and just prove that it's not that dark. Light's coming. It's just a nice world to be in. Let's do that. South Carolina woman who gouged her eyes out during a meth-induced psychotic episode in which she thought she could save the world has received a pair of prosthetic eyeballs that make her appear more normal to the outside world. But in her head, she knows she's fucking crazy.

Kaylee Muthart of Anderson or Muthart was 20 years old when she ripped out her eyes, squishing them in February 2018 after snorting and injecting tainted

methamphetamine. Oh my God. Is that? I thought they were making this shit up what's that on wednesday she finally received her prosthetic eyes from dr joseph goran of goran's Clinic in Greenville. Good place to go. I was so excited to get them, she said.

She's enrolled in blind school. I just wanted to appear more normal to the outside world. We have a picture of her, Raz? Do you? The one I have, she's a lot... This must mean she's still on meth. Why is her face shaped just like a mask? She looks like Jennifer Aniston

looking into a Funhouse mirror at the... Anyways, Muthart FaceTime with her mom, katie tompkins to show her the new look she cried with happiness muthart told the son she is so excited for me in this next chapter of my life she entered the call by saying please don't pull off your titties what muthart said she celebrated by going to dinner with george at Applebee's where they had their first date. Well, that makes sense of it all. Listen to this. Before they had dinner, she said, I put on my own makeup for the first time since I lost my sight.

That felt very special. We have a picture of her. She put on her makeup by herself for the first time since I lost my sight. That felt very special. We have a picture of her. She put on her makeup by herself for the first time. Beautiful job. Let's head to jalapeno popper night at Applebee's. Muthat, who will soon receive a guide dog, said she has learned a decent amount of Braille. Excuse me, waitress.

excuse me waitress can i get that mediocre grits and shrimp you have at appleby she can cook show her with third degree burns on her tits and wash clothes make a bed and even look after pets hey maybe I should blind my wife. She doesn't do half that shit. She pulled her eyes out and squished them. Jesus, why? I've never been to a party where something cool like that happened ever. Can you imagine if you were there and she was like,

I gotta save the world! I would have killed to seen that. The other people's faces. Was she around other people? Oh my god. I pull the eye. When I cook a whole fish,

I like red snapper. I roast a whole fish, I like red snap. I roast the whole fish. I always leave the eyeballs at the end because my wife freaks out and I bite down on them. I want to thank you people. I am so excited about what happened last night because the show got taken down. So we threw it on Patreon. And thank God a lot of people went to patreon um as you know you can sign up at patreon to be a monthly subscriber or you

can donate every day at nickdip.com i want to thank contributors since yesterday john costa of california paul sagnella who's in here every day connecticut michael smith florida debbie ellsworth connecticut matthew dawn alabama michael spence california sarah noah kansas beatrice sarando Smith, Florida. Debbie Ellsworth, Connecticut. Matthew Dawn, Alabama. Michael Spence, California. Sarah Noah, Kansas. Beatrice Sorondo, Florida. Kevin Clark, Illinois. Joey the Motherless Bastard Bon Bono, Pennsylvania. I liked he went with Motherless Bastard and not fuck. Craig Burton, went with motherless bastard and not fuck craig burton australia matthew hebert new hampshire now listen to these these people signed up as monthly subscribers we're happy when we get five or six or whatever new monthly supporters chris kurtz kurtz hells daniel Haley, David C., Don King, Keith Light, Matt P., Mimmy, Miserable Prick, Nicholas Montalioni, R. Sheets, Samantha Rosario, Tim Doughty, William Rhodes, you believe this?

Jesse Cover, Michael Varney, Pauly R, Eric Abner, Patricia, Ronnie Isguerro, Isguerro. That's 19 new subscribers last night. Can't thank you enough. And you know we need it because we're being fucked with. Oh, man. Let's lighten up. Man, let's lighten it up. Woman from Vermont cuts her nipples off with an X-Acto knife.

Fries them and eats them. Here you go. Toymaker Hasbro announced that it will pull a new Trolls doll from stores after an uproar and petition denouncing a button located in the doll's private area that makes it gasp and giggle. That's what happens when you're supposed to, that's when you touch a girl's button, that's supposed to happen. And they're supposed to go, may I have another?

Drawing accusations that the toy grooms children for sexual abuse. Maybe. A button between the crotch? I don't, I don't. I, I did not have sex with that girl. A video, a video that went viral shows a mother explaining her outrage, demonstrating the button after her daughter received the doll for her birthday. Wow, really?

Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. That's what the dog's doll says when you pull the... That's what the dog's doll says when you pull the... A petition demanding the toy maker pull the product from shelves reached nearly 400,000 signatures. The petition states, Our society is conditioning our children to think pedophilia is okay. This Trolls World Tour doll named Poppy has a button on her private area under her skirt. When you push this button on the doll's privates, she gasps and giggles. This is

not okay for a child's toy. This toy needs to be removed from our stores. What will this toy make our innocent, impressionable children think? That it's fun when someone touches your private area? It kinda is. I mean, as adults. Not as kids. I'm with

her on this. I'm just saying. That pedophilia and child molestation are okay? It's not okay. It's not fun. Absolutely right. It's damaging and has long-term effects on a child's mental slash physical health. Sign this petition to get this toy removed from the shelves and help. Hashtag save the children.

Children are our future and we are their voice. After Hasbro announced that it would pull the toy, Jessica McManus, the woman who created the petition, responded on Twitter. She said, I didn't expect my petition to blow up like this. I'm so happy it did. They recalled the doll today. There's no way someone at Hasbro didn't think it was weird when deciding to create this doll like that. I think she's right on. Why would you put it in a crowd?

I mean, come on. Did you really think you were going to get away with that? There's some sick fucks out there. There really are. Oh, I'm sorry, Raz. Yes, we have a video of it. Down here, I figured a video was the best way. So I just touched her tummy and she's going to sing for a minute.

But down here is a button right here on her privates pause pause when did button become button huh when did Johnson becomes Johnson I fucking hate it there's grown white women talking

like that that was a more of a low income housing language button joe button joe by and it's biden it's not by and it's not but it's button okay now touch your crotch go ahead if you push those she makes these sounds. Boop. Wee! Like a gasping sound. And I know some of you may not like think this is a big deal, but especially since I've had kids, like this is wrong. For one, this button, it says nothing about this button on the box. Nothing. It's just there. And it makes a gasping sound when you touch her privates.

And to me, it's just like sexual sounds. Oh, is that right? How do I get one? It makes gasping sounds. That's when you're choking a girl. She has to be choked. What's the say for it? Hard or...

There's no need to put that button in the crotch area. Sorry, I'm with her on that. I don't sound too Pollyannish here, but... It'd be funny if you press that button, the doll said this. I suck cock. That would have been offensive, too. Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in Cape Cod.

A Puerto Rican goes to a party. He loses his crack pipe at the party. Cut. In the world of absurd. Boy, I'm having trouble today. I slept good last night. I don't know what the fuck. I'm taking this Welbutrin on top of my Lexapro.

On top of my Lipitor. I'm like Keith Richards in the morning. I got 19 things laid out. And I never dream. I used to never dream. Since this shit kicked in, I dream every frigging night. And I have little flashbacks during the day. That means I'm sleeping, I guess, at least, you know.

But did you dream, Raz? Do you? About what? Raz, what do you dream about? That we could all live in peace? Yeah, that and morning erections. I didn't even have them when I was young. Well, when you're a teenager, you're doing stuff.

But like in my 20s, I don't remember waking up with a hard-on every morning. I've got to believe that's a side effect of whatever. It's kind of cool. It makes me feel young. Then I get up and I nod off at about 1130. That boner took the life out of me. Couldn't get it off. Speaking of politically correct run amok, you know, that's the world we live in.

NASA drops insensitive nicknames for cosmic objects. Do you believe this is where we're at? I think your brain is going soft. Do you believe this is where we're at? I think your brain is going soft. Do you believe this is where we're at? NASA is joining the ever-growing list of organizations and companies reexamining its naming system, removing names that are insensitive and harmful. How can a name be harmful? How?

How can a word be harmful? It can't. I said this on CBS radio, and I had a show in New York. They made us read the manual after Don Imus got in trouble. And I said, words do not hurt. Harmful. So they're removing, changing the names from its vocabulary. Aunt Jemima, the chicks, Lady A, Mrs. Buttersworth, the Washington football team, and now celestial objects are all undergoing. What are we doing? Just changing our history of everything because some people got their feelings hurt. Huh?

If I had time, I would have come up with some real racist constellations. Look at this six-piece bucket. Looks like the Big Dip. Three in a biscuit. Look at the big dollar sign. We call that ju-ju-ju. Eskimo Nebula and Siamese Twins Galaxy.

Dude, I didn't even know those existed. Are just two examples of nicknames that will be retired. Really? A couple of twins joined at the fucking hip look up and go, hey, what the fuck? They're making fun of us. Let's get out of here. I don't want to go. I want to go. I don't want to go. let's get out of here i don't want to go i want to go i don't want to go eskimo nebula two examples and they'll be retired the space agency announced this week often seemingly innocuous nicknames can be harmful and detract from the science who the fuck said that you need to shut the fuck up celestial objects such planets, galaxies and nebulae are often given unofficial nicknames since their official

names are typically a series of letters and numbers. However, since we've lost our sense of humor on planet Earth, however, NASA said some of the names are offensive and they plan to retire them. Hello?

Hello? Hello? Anybody? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Echo! Echo! As the scientific community works to identify and address systemic discrimination and inequality,

that's not your job. How about focusing on beating Russia to Mars? Jesus fucking Christ. Political correctness is now in space literally so they're trying to identify and address systemic discrimination and inequality in all aspects of the field. It has become clear that certain cosmic nicknames are not only insensitive but can be actively harmful. No, it isn't. You're lying. And you're scientists.

You know you're full of shit. It's not like you're looking up and go, look, Spickle. Fucking what? Wap of Borealis. NASA is examining its use of unofficial terminology for cosmic objects as part of its commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion. I'm gay, I'm really gay, I'm super duper gay.

I'm gayer than a rainbow, I'm gayer than I'll say. Gay, I'm really gay, I'm truly very gay. Clamlapper, right above the Big Dipper. NASA said it will no longer afford a planetary nebula NGC 2392, the glowing remains of a sun-like star near the end of its life, as the Eskimo nebula. It acknowledged the term's racist origins. Many indigenous people, there's two left,

consider Eskimo a derogatory term because non-native colonizers used it to mean eater of raw meat that was my girlfriend's name in fucking college or nickname holy shit i didn't know that's what it meant half the football team said hey eskimo i'm like what connoting barbarism in june dry as ice cream dropped the name Eskimo Pie after nearly 100 years. Oh, boy, you. Oh, my God. I am so embarrassed where we are as a nation.

Dropped Eskimo Pies. What do you call them now? Hair Pie? Remember that one from junior high school? Let's get off it. Finally tonight, let's go to the cops who have been maligned every which way in the last, I don't know, few years. Now they're trying to blame some of the NYPD cops. NYPD cops don't lift a finger as 11-year-old is beaten in broad daylight.

What the hell's going on out here? NYPD cops had a front row seat to a five-on-one brawl, but let the violence play out rather than doing the jobs to break it up, according to a New York Post reporter. An 11-year-old girl was slapped, punched, kicked, and even shot with a stun gun by a group of five other girls after a basketball game. I wonder what color these people, I wonder what color the people involved in this. Five on one, basketball. I don't know. I have no idea. Let's read on.

I don't know. I have no idea. Let's read our... Oh, it happened on East 125th Street near Madison Avenue in Harlem. I still, I'm still confused. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch! Oh! Oh! Raz, oh! During the roughly four-minute beatdown, cops sat idly in nearby cruises, but they didn't get out until the girl was bloody and bruised. At least 20 police cars were nearby on the street, with at least one a little more than a car length away, photos show. Police sources told the Post the young girl was treated at Mount Sinai Hospital after being cut, bruised, and shocked in the stomach with a stun gun. The girl told cops she didn't know her attackers,

but knew two of their handles on social media. An NYPD spokesman claimed the account witnessed by the post photographer was completely inaccurate. The officers were met by a large crowd while attempting to come to this person's assistant. They were outnumbered. Projectiles were thrown at them, and they were forced to

reposition and call every available resource in the area, said Rep. Al Baker. The department also tweeted footage it claimed to show people throwing bottles at cops who tried to intervene, though it was unclear when or where the footage was shot and it does not show the girl being attacked. But the post photographer said he observed no bottles being tossed at police, though he was on the scene after hearing reports of an unruly crowd nearby some 45 minutes earlier. Chance you might not have been there when it happened. The hands-off approach comes as the police unions challenge a portion of New York City's chokehold bill that makes it a misdemeanor crime to use any technique during an arrest that could limit breathing. Oh my god,

you're taking all the tools away from the cops. Top NYPD officials have also spoken out against the local reform calling it dangerous but have denied a slowdown despite video leaking out from a weekly comp stat meeting capturing precinct leaders telling the chief department Terrence Monaghan that cops were afraid of facing charges over the new law can you imagine taking these tools away and they gotta you know de Blasio wants to cut millions of dollars from the you know i mean send them out there unarmed and shit take away their guns too maybe they maybe they can do rock paper scissors with the fucking drug addicts

over the last month arrests have plummeted with cops making nearly 60 fewer callers yeah because they don't want to be sued or killed in the process. Fucking believable. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. Cops are also pulling over fewer drivers, issuing a quarter of the normal speed tickets with the city's speed cameras violations count holding steady. So if you're going to speed, do it in New York. Here's the dumbest person of the week maybe get this headline

a Nashville council woman wants anyone who doesn't wear a mask to be tried for murder or attempted murder you fucking whore yeah that's it go home get my dinner ready right you got a pick don't wait for

me. There she is. Now, who does she look like? I don't know. Every pulling guard for the fucking Giants. Is that hair or is she wearing a fucking tiara made of Brillo?

My question goes back to legislation. Sharon Hurt, an at-large councilwoman of the National Metro Council, said during a meeting last week between public safety, beer, and regulated beverages and health hospitals and social service committees do you see the bureaucracy even in the name it takes five minutes to say she says my concern is you know i work for an organization that if they pass a virus then they are tried for murder or attempted murder if they are not told and this person who may very well pass this virus that's out in the air because they're not told. And this person who may very well pass this virus that's

out in the air because they're not wearing a mask is basically doing the same thing to someone who contracts it and dies from it. Is she the dumbest? Thank you. It seems to me that we have been more reactive as opposed to proactive and a little too late, she says, too little too late. Maybe there needs to be stronger legislation to say that if you do not wear a mask and you subject exposure of this virus to someone else then there will be some stronger penalty as it is as it is in other viruses that are exposed what are you talking about you're a loser you'll always be a loser she's dead serious does it not scare you that this is the level of intelligence of people legislatures people who get voted in

heard had to be told by the way there any white women in power doing anything other than fucking hillary and heard had to be told by metro nashville's director of legislative affairs mike james, that the city committees just can't do that. The council does not have the opportunity on its own to create criminal legislation, he said. You'd think she'd know that, right? In terms of creating a new code or class of criminal offenses, that is a creature of state law. To which dummy Miss Hurt said, she expressed her disappointment. I was afraid that was going to be the answer.

Oh, fucking idiot! If you knew that, why'd you bring it up? Attempted murder for not wearing a mask or murder. Wow. Maybe we can bring back Quincy or fucking murder she sneezed. That is it for today, folks. Again, thank you so much, so much for the Patreon and the people who donate daily. That was great, though. And again, we'll keep you posted on this new platform, since it looks like I'm on YouTube's radar, although we like YouTube, and I think we're

doing a fair job of walking that tightrope. And thank God I have a manager who knows how to handle and talk in a civil way, unlike me. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a good rest of the day. Bye-bye. guitar solo Outro Music