The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Admin Craps On Christians | Nick Di Paolo Show #1546

Episode Date: April 1, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Easter Bunny blues, Holy smoke and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 That's your world. I just live in it. Got that right. Hi, folks. How are you? Hold on. Hey, do they make a shirt that where both collars do the same thing? Is that fucking possible in this fucking country? Although it was probably made in Beijing.

Excuse me. That's cigarette smoke. That's right. I drank and smoked like Dean Martin while I was off. You remember him, right? Sure you do, folks. Anyways, great to be with you I guess. The fuck else we're gonna do on a Monday? I'm in a rare fucking mood. I say I slept, I had a quality 11 hours sleep I'd say on the week off. Don't ask me I just see fucking I see Alzheimer's in my future. That's all I'm saying. Thank God for Advil PM I cut the shit up and I cook it on a spoon sometimes I shoot it between my toes

like Christopher Moltisanti what's going on American Idol I just wanted to get this off my chest I take back every good thing I've ever said about the show again I don't watch it for the same reasons I told you it is a microcosm to get this off my chest. I take back every good thing I've ever said about the show. Again, I don't watch it for the same reasons I told you.

It is a microcosm of our society, political correctness, victim status. It highlights all that shit. I ruin it. My wife tries to watch it as a singing competition, and I analyze it out loud

while she's trying to watch, ruining her night. It's fucking great. I just, it's fucking, there's a generation out there that they come on and they have a sob story. I'm sure ABC prods it out of them. Whether it be a minority who grew up in a town where he got bullied and racist, all that shit. They are so happy. The girl last night tells a story, real attractive. She's like 17, right? Really attractive girl. Starts telling a sob story about something that

happened to her as a small girl that shouldn't happen to any young girl. But that's all she says about it. So I flip the fuck out. I go, if you're going to use this to manipulate, to make America like you, you've got to give us more than that. Nick, don't be so cynical.

What the fuck? Everybody else has a sob story. So we're all assuming she got molested or whatever the fuck. But then tell us details. If you're going to use it to manipulate, and that's what you were taught, your generation, if you have a sob story and you're a victim,

you'll go far. I want to hear the details. Even creepier, she's sitting on a stool, singing a song about it that she wrote. She's in a denim skirt that's cut a little below her belly button. It's like a gap shot.

This is on fucking Disney, ABC, Dataclub. What is... What's the message? I'm getting fucking crossed wires here. What are you trying to tell us? Well Nick, what are you saying? She did, I just, I don't know.

Then they cut to a black guy, well she's singing a song about being molested. They cut to a black contested guy, he's crying for her. Are you sucking my ass? Are you sucking,ant guy he's crying for her are you sucking my ass are you suck even if he's gay which most people are contestants on the show are gay and they're scary talented all of them i'm not shitting you uh but i'm just saying then you cut to a black when's the last time a black guy cried for a white girl this kind of other than when he accidentally choked her too far. It is a study, and I noticed they're doing a lot of what American gut talent does,

manipulating your feelings, along with shots that are spliced in later on. Everybody gets a standing ovation. And it's creepy. It's creepy. Cut to people crying. It's fucking creepy. And it should just be a singing contest. But again, it's run by Disney and liberals, so they have to make you feel bad about everything.

It's fucking odd. It's really fucking odd. Well, Nick, that's what you get for watching that. What the fuck? I watched three hockey games. I drank all week. You saw the picture. Do we put it? Excuse me. Uh-oh.

That's me in my favorite local watering hole. I just put that up. I said to the bartender, take this picture, and I threw it on, whatever the fuck you throw it on. X, it got almost a thousand likes. I was making a retarded face on purpose, and then I look at it, I go, that's how people smile when they try,

and. That was me trying to act retarded. And it looks like I'm smiling and having a good time. Of course I put that bib on to get a laugh. And of course, people online are so stupid. You look like a retard with that bib. That was the whole idea. Yeah, fuck. How the fuck are you a fan of mine? You don't fucking... Yeah, I didn't want to get a Bloody Mary mix on my jean jacket. Anyways. But yeah, that American Idol is a study in victim.

It is tremendous. It is. Oh, and then the Tranny guy, who's the most Tranny. He's from the Netherlands, Amsterdam, of course. He's got his hair dyed blue and pink on top. And he's got a girl's face. And he's wearing a pink, a pink like, what do you call it? I don't know what you'd call it, that a woman would wear, like a model with a jacket with the puffy shoulders but no shirt on.

And then he tells a sob story how the people in the Netherlands told him to get lost. You know, they don't like me. It's hard. But no, you're asking for people to pick on you. They call them cotton candy. Well, your head's fucking pink and blue. Look like my nuts. One healthy one.

You're asking for it. That's my new take. You're asking to be fucking picked on. I'm not condoning the people that picked on you or whatever the fuck. Also, you're an influencer, so you have millions of fans, by the way. But my point being is you're asking to stick out. You have to read the room a little bit. Are we supposed to all bend our knees to your fucking lifestyle? Which, by the way, is one in one zillion people. Do you see what I'm saying? And I'm not condoning idiots who bully or whatever the fuck. Live and let live, I say.

But don't provoke with your fucking and then go, why can't they understand me? Stop with that horse shit. It's so bad, I'm going to start watching sports again.

Anyways. Wow. That was a good one. Somebody put that, that should be up there on Citizens Free Press or whatever. I'm just saying.

I'm a live and let live guy, but you guys are asking for it. Anyhow, how's this show work? What's next? The first story? Sure. Me and Dallas both forgot. All right. First story.

Easter Bunny Blues. Can you, again, I'm not a religious guy, but White House spokesperson, Karine Jean-Pierre, actually literally the most unqualified person ever to get within a foot of the White House, has doubled down after President Joe Biden, are we still calling him president, declared Easter Sunday a transgender day of visibility. Jean-Pierre's statement on X Saturday

followed overwhelming backlash to Biden's animated affirmation of the controversial holiday as the same. Do we have enough holidays and days for queers and fags and fucking homos and pillow biting, pipe smoking? Any other fucking months, days you want? Can we have something to ourself? I like pussy. Let's fucking raise the flag on that one.

December fucking 4th. Holiday is the same, the holiest Christian holiday. She got very upset, Jean Carver de Pierre. And do we have her? She said, um, this is what she said. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you

that you can always tell a lady, but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John. Shut up. Anyways, I'll translate. On Transgender Day of Visibility, the Biden-Harris administration honors the extraordinary courage. Oh, it or takes courage does it and Contributions of trans hey, this is a good segue into what I just shot my mouth off about and again

I again, I I don't want to come across as anti-trade. I don't I wouldn't want to go through it I believe some people are born too much male juice and whatever the fuck I understand that But don't turn us into bad people and make us, you know, fucking act like we're the fucking idiots. Yeah. Extraordinary courage, it says. I don't know what courage that is.

It's the safest time to be gay or trans or anything on the planet in this country. Well, Nick, they get beat up and shit. Everybody does. And you're gonna, like I said, it's a fucking mean world. Don't provoke it. What are you saying? I'm asking for it the way I dress? Yeah, you got pink and blue

hair and lips like a bitch. Although somebody told me I had lips like a bitch. Black homeless guy in New York. Did I tell you that? Are you sure? I'm getting into a cab. Dude, you're gonna love this. I'm getting into a cab. Dude, you're going to love this. I'm getting into a cab.

People that have watched the show have heard this. With my buddy, the late Greg Zook, in New York City, in the village. Just moved there. Early 90s. Still look like the young, handsome guy. I get in the cab. Zook gets in. The window's down.

All of a sudden, this black, like, homeless guy. He looked like he was in his 70s. Gray beard and shit. Or 60s, maybe. Then again, he was a crackhead. 11. I don't know. Sticks his face sudden, this black, like, homeless guy, he looked like he was in his 70s, gray beard and shit, or 60s maybe. Then again, he was a crackhead, 11, I don't know.

Sticks his face and he goes, hey man, you get eyes and mouth like a bitch. I just went, thank you. Fucking Zuck

almost shit his pants laughing. Oh my God. I took it as a compliment. Before I move on, I'm digressing. I'm all over the place. It's Monday on, I'm digressing. I'm all over the place. It's Monday. Second half of the show, I'll be telling you about something interesting

going on in the rich neighborhoods in, is it Illinois? I wrote down Michigan here, buddy. Is it Michigan? Oh, okay. Well, Chilean gangs. Now, how'd they pick the state of Michigan to do their dirty? Well, anyways, I'll tell you what they're doing to rich houses. And also another bridge incident since the one, since the collapse in Baltimore. So that's kind of a worrying pattern. I'll talk about that in detail. Only if you guys belong to Mug Club. And to do that, you've got to go to nickdip.com to join.

club. And to do that, you got to go to nickdip.com to join. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to NickDip.com and click on store. Again, that's NickDip.com and click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Alright. Let me go back to what I was talking about.

Anyways, this is her administration. Extraordinary courage, contributions, transgender Americans. They've been around five minutes. And reaffirms our nation's commitment to forming a more perfect union. That's exactly what it doesn't do. Think about that statement. We're fighting about it all the time.

What union? If you mean taking the genitals off a guy and slapping him on a broad, that's a union. We're all people are treated equally. Oh, my God. If I hear that phrase one more time, I'm going to fucking shit blood. Biden's proclamation issued on Good Friday, another sacred day for Christians, announced that transgender Americans are part of the fabric of our nation

and called for the passage of the Equality Act. What the fuck? How many Equality Acts do we have? Oh my God, this is such horseshit. That law would codify Democrats' embrace of gender identity. You know, just the Democrats. The made-up concept that one can identify as a sex, somebody who wrote this, I guess, agrees with us. sex. Somebody who wrote this, I guess, agrees with us. The made up concept, which it is, that one can identify as a sex other than what they were born and become that sex. Hey, easy. Anyways, Democrats have tried to pass the bill for years.

You know, this is what they focus on. Well, we have China breathing down our neck. Half the world hates it. But they have yet to get it across the president's desk. Christians across the nation spoke out after Biden's declaration went viral. Republicans in Congress overwhelmingly opposed it as well. The Biden White House has betrayed the central tenet of Easter, which is the resurrection of Jesus Christ, Speaker Mike Johnson said on X, banning sacred truth and tradition, while at the same time proclaiming Easter Sunday a transgender visibility day. It's outrageous and abhorrent, he said. The American people are taking note, are they? That's all you guys do is take note.

You never push back. You never push back. Let's wait for, I don't know, Ramadan, and we'll have a fucking whatever. Christians are great. Let's have a fucking Crusades celebration. That was the fucking Christians, right, being bad? That's right. Biden has posted an Easter message on Easter Day in years past. All those statements were much shorter and seemingly boilerplate than his lengthy Transgender Day.

And that's as strong as you can come out against it, whoever wrote this. Transgender Day of Visibility, call to arms. Fuck Joe Biden! Fuck Joe Biden! But just think about the gall to do that. Honestly. Just pick another religion and whatever. Take whatever they... Let's celebrate the Jews on the first day of Ramadan or something.

Whatever the fuck. I don't know. You guys think of something funny. I'm tired. Anyways. Let's move on to holy smoke. Holy smoke. Holy smoke. A pastor reportedly discovered a trailer filled with Bibles. Oh, more. More attacks on Easter weekend. This is here now.

This isn't the Middle East. We're talking, this shit's going on here now. A trailer filled with Bibles. Why would anybody have a trailer filled with Bibles? That were intentionally set on fire Easter Sunday outside a church in Tennessee. Yeah, you better fuck, Stane. What the fuck? Pastor Greg Locke found the Bible set aflame when he arrived at Global Vision Bible Church. What the hell kind of name is that? Global Vision. Isn't that who, Tommy? That's my manager's company.

On Sunday morning. It was strange. They did this on Easter, by the way. It was strange because, and again, folks, I'm not going to sit and pretend I'm a religious guy, because I'm not. I didn't know it was Easter until about 3 o'clock yesterday. I mean, I just forgot.

It was a big deal when I was a kid. You know, I had a chocolate fix and I knew that was the day to stock up. Fucking Easter bunnies and little fucking yellow things that give you cancer. Delicious. Thank you. It was strange because he, the suspect, this is the Reverend talking, had his blinkers on and he scotched the wheels. What does that mean, Dallas? You know? Scotch the wheels?

Scotch guarded? Maybe he poured scotch on it. To get it going. He scotched the wheels and everything, Lark told the alley. He was very meticulous. Why do you blow him? So he had to be very courageous to do what he did. Oh, again, big balls to be transgender, to burn a bunch of Bibles.

Takes big. We've had people — this is the guy who should be upset at this. Is that him talking? What's his name? Fucking Tom — huh? Male Speaker 1 in audience member's audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1 in audience member's voice. Male Speaker 1's a lock? Yeah. We've had people do things to our building.

We've been vandalized a number of times. Are you hearing this, folks? But you don't see it on NBC or anywhere. Hence why we — yet if somebody throws a rock through a mosque and leaves a pig's head near it, oh, my God, you could make a fucking short film about it just from the news. Hence why we have to have security, but never 200 Bibles being burned. That's a pretty rebellious statement towards the church. Thank you, fucking Father Obvious.

Those are the Bibles. These aren't all the shit. Are these the ones that Trump was selling? I don't understand that one either. Can you imagine, though? If that was 200 Korans, you think the... I haven't heard a thing. They won't follow up on this story. It's fucking evil shit.

My wedding song. I love that, whatever that is. It really creeps me out. There was a lady, this is the guy talking still locked, that had driven through the night to get to our church, and she was in the parking lot and was able to get the police officers here quickly. This lady drove through the night to go to church. I grew up from a church.

I'm not kidding you. Our church is at the top of our street. I went once every two years. It's a big hill. I was able to get the police officers here quickly, but it was quite the scene to wake up to on my first morning back from Israel, he continued. I wonder if they had anything to do. Had to block traffic in all directions, but they're almost finished cleaning it up. It's going to be a great day in the Lord. I wish I had that attitude.

I'm sure that's how the mullahs would have handled it. They found a bunch of Korans in front of a mosque in Manhattan. They would have said, that's going to be a good day. They didn't mean nothing. They didn't mean nothing by it. That's the problem when you get pushed around. Who's we? I don't know.

Kind of a Catholic. I mean, I want to believe. Can you see? I can see all the drinks. Boy, I drank everything, too. I'm like a little kid. Try one of these. Make me something. Had this bartender. I said, make me fucking. She invented like three different ones and sucked them down. She, like, good. I go, I didn't even taste them. My throat's numb from the ice. Day drinking, anything better? It really isn't.

I mean, I don't like, while you're an adult, you know how to do it. When you're young, you start hammering at noon, and by five, your head's split. You've got to pace yourself. Then get in the car and drive around. That was the other thing when we posted that picture. Everybody's like, I love it. You've got to pace yourself. Then get in the car and drive around. That was the other thing when we posted that picture. Everybody's like, I love it. There's you drinking your car keys right next to me.

Everybody picks up and he goes, you've got a bottle open on your car keys. Yeah. I'm an American. People pick up on the fucking funny shit, man. Anyways, folks, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of this show. And everyone everyone else go to nickdip.com and sign up to get my again my full show and steven crowder's full show and a whole lot more and while you're there at my site nickdip.com

click on the tour dates i keep forgetting about these that that Tommy threw in. I am so nervous, folks. I've been doing this forever and I've never taken this much time off. And it feels great, by the way. I can be honest with you. The only part I miss is being on the stage

and hanging out with you guys after. I do miss that because that's basically my social life. But the rest of it, you know, fucking...

Patrice O'Neill said it best. I go, Patrice, how come you don't do the road at all? Man, I'm fucking lonely, man. And that voice. It's fucking horrible. Unless you're a young comedian, and again, no wife, no girlfriend, and you're

fucking the fat girl in the coat check room. Sure, she's fat, but she's got a pretty mouth. What? She lost my cashmere sweater. Let's she's fat, but she's got a pretty mouth. What? She lost my cashmere sweater. Let's move on. I don't even know what that meant. Well, this is a month from today, actually. Your first date.

Jesus, it's April Fool's Day, folks. I don't fall for that shit. I didn't come in and do something silly for you. I'll do that like on the April 5th, just to fuck you up. Well, that's a little late, Nick. Well, we just took down a Christmas tree today, so shut up. All right. Yeah, May 11th.

May 1 and 2 at Tampa Sidesplitters. May 10th, Soul Joels, right? For a couple shows. That's the night before, obviously, the 11th. At fucking Red Bank. Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey, May 11th. That's a big one. Please buy tickets. Tommy, New Jersey, May 11th. That's a big one. Please buy tickets, Tommy.

Get on the goddamn Facebook thing. Let's go. 600 was a good number three weeks ago. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else

No, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get in trouble like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else

I see you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else