The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden and Brady Victorious in Florida | Nick Di Paolo Show #318

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

Biden wins big in Florida. Trump doesn't apologize for Chinese Flu. Brady goes to the Bucs. Thank Adam from Melbourne for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon. MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, it's Nick DiPaolo. I'll tell you what I'm sick of. I'm sick of being told what's acceptable comedy and what isn't. I've never followed that. I hate people go, what's the line? There is no line. You know why? Your line might be a foot away. Mine might be three miles. There is no line. I call it like I see it. I'm sick of the mainstream media, which is run by ultra liberal people creating their own version of the news, not representing how I and you think. That's why we created the Nick DiPaolo show in the first place. Okay. I'm tired of this. Everybody's equal. Everybody gets a trophy. Nobody is judged on merit anymore. It's whether what your skin color is or what your gender is. I'm tired of that shit. So are you. That's why

the Nick DiPaolo podcast was created in the first place, where I could have a place to speak unapologetically, unfiltered. Hollywood turned their back on me years ago. Fuck them. Okay. That's what this show's about. You can watch it every Monday through Thursday. And if you're watching it on YouTube right now, click that button on your screen and you can catch it at nickdip.com five o'clock eastern this show is about cutting loose and right now we need your support especially with the coronavirus going on but we need your contributions because we made the show free recently. So you're going to keep this show alive with your contributions, whether it's individual contributions at nickdip.com or

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Thank you. Now, enjoy your cake. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show. It's a Wednesday in Georgia. I don't know what day it is in China. Probably Kill Americans Day. Those fucking slime. You know, stereotypes are all true, okay?

You know what the Chinese have been known for for a million years? Being sneaky. Yeah, I said it. They're trying to say the U.S. military. The U.S. military military the u.s military created the uh fucking coronavirus and we gave it that's what they're saying now they're threatening us because all our antibiotics are made over there almost we rely on them too much because you know the fucking elite assholes that ran this country for the last 30

years sold us out so they could get rich quick, and now we rely on these punks. But they just come out with this propaganda horseshit that, and they're threatening us to say they're going to shut off our, you know, any drugs that we need, so they'll throw it. They said they're going to throw us in the coronavirus sea, but make no mistake about it. This is the fucking face of the coronavirus, okay?

It wasn't created in the United States. Is that racist? I don't give a fucking rat's ass. I'm going to send this to Trump, have him sign it and put it on. He got in trouble referring to it as the China virus. We'll get to that in a few seconds, but they're

fucking slippery. Always have been. I always check my fucking, yeah, I'm not going to get into the fucking pork fried rice. Anyway. That's some racist shit. this country needs it people are dying all over the world and you have cdc doctors going we shouldn't call it shut the fuck up put on your lab coat and look through your goddamn microscope and figure it out we all know where it fucking started i'm watching a press

conference i'm going ahead of my stories here. Stupid. The fucking press, they just, but Mr. President, you called it to, it has a stick. Shut your fucking hole. That's what you're worried about? People on the left, you are hung up on race.

You have a unhealthy, irrational obsession about racism. You're fucking psychotic. Either that or you realize it's the only way to hurt guys like Trump. I'm so fucking tired of it. I could. Anyhow, before we get to that, stupid Joe Biden, the world's coming to a fucking end. We're all quarantine. Tom Brady is a buccaneer and Biden is fucking winning in a landslide as far as a Democratic primary. The world is coming to a goddamn end. Thank God.

I am exhausted after 58 years. Fuck this place. I'm ready to move to Wuhan right now and fucking eat out an 80-year-old lady just to end it. What? You heard me. Is this thing going to crack every time? Do we have a compressor in this motherfucker? Or was that made in China? Anyways, former vice president,

shithead and liar, Joe Biden has a near insurmountable lead over Vermont Senator communist slash Marxist cocksucker Bernie Sanders after Tuesday's primaries, Arizona, Florida, Illinois. They didn't do Florida, did they? I thought the guy called it off. Look at shithead with a smile. Can you imagine after all those gaffes? Think back when Trump was running.

They go, we don't know if he's mentally fit. Are you dog styling me? But this guy is? You've got to be shitting me. Fucking Joe. Ah, fucking Joe. I'm fucking, ah. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!

Yeah, exactly. Me fuck you and your bone spurs! That's the mood I'm in. Hi, Joe, how are you? What are we doing? What's going on right now? I'll tell you what, Joe. The Democrat Party's gonna use you as a puppet if you win, which I still don't think you're going to.

But if you won the presidency, they're going to control you like a fucking marionette. Every stupid thing that comes out of your mouth is going to be from Pelosi and people swift end in the coming days or continues on longer as the states that haven't yet voted shift their primaries to June because of the China fucking pork fried rice virus. Yeah, I said it. Fuck basis. Oh, I'm fucking fuming today. Why I woke up with a fever.

I might have it. Now, again. At home in Vermont, Bernie Sanders, the only Jew living in Vermont, spoke early in the night before results were out and didn't address Tuesday's election at all. He gets smoked. He gets swept. He doesn't even bring it up last night. You know what that means? He's like, I am fucked. I'm going gonna go live in the villages in florida like the rest of nine-year-old joe's the coronavirus pandemic meant biden couldn't stage a large rally or deliver a raucous victory speech raucous excuse me tuesday night instead in a live stream you mean they got that right they can actually use technology now in a live stream from his home uh while a nurse was cleaning his diaper and taking his temperature as he threw up green jello,

he offered a message designed to bring the Democratic primary to its end and turn the party's focus to take it on Trump, who will stomp him like the fucking redheaded stepchild he is. Biden said he and Sanders may disagree on tactics, but we share a common vision on issues like health care, income inequality, and climate change. You know, all the shit that the Trump voters didn't give a fuck about who elected him president. So you keep it up, you fuck. You need to shut the fuck up. The political, excuse me, Sanders ignores his dwindling chances. The political reality for the Vermont senator was grim, but you wouldn't have

known it watching his live stream as election results ticked in. He entirely ignored Tuesday's elections and instead focused on the need to support working families struggling to deal with the coronavirus. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you.

Hey, hey, I don't like that talk. I don't need it on the show. Yet I continue to hit the button. Pressure mounts on Sanders to exit race. Sanders backers urged that a key reason the senator needs to stay in the race is to push Biden to the left. But many Democrats, fearing a repeat of 2016's lengthy primary, are itching for Sanders to bow out now. There were odd allies Tuesday night with operatives tied to Sanders celebrating Republican Governor Mike DeWine's decision to halt voting in Ohio amid the Center for Disease Control and Prevention's guidance to avoid gatherings of 50 people or more.

Biden crushed him in Florida. They did hold him in Florida, right? Effectively postponing the state's primary. In this moment, in the midst of a pandemic where we know that millions of Americans' lives are at risk, it feels like an abdication of Democratic leadership in this moment to carry forward. Alexander Rojas, the executive of Justice Democrats, a progressive group that endorsed Sanders, said on CNN, I think Ohio made a right call. Raz, did they fucking, can you look it up?

They had the fucking primary, right? I saw it. Biden crushed them. Former Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe, a Biden supporter, quickly squashed Roe Harses' argument. He said, we didn't delay voting during the Civil War. We didn't do it during the 1918 pandemic. We didn't delay at all during the World War II.

People want to exercise a constitutional right. Sanders himself questioned the prospect of people voting in the midst of the coronavirus before people headed to the polls. He said, I think about some of the elderly people like myself are sitting behind the desk registering people and doing all that stuff. The senator, does that make a lot of sense? I'm not

sure it does at this point. Hey, Bernie. Dead man walking. That's what you is. That's who you are. You dead. Dead. That fucking music sounds a little like rick ross go ahead joe biden won with 62 so what is this fucking article saying it's written after the results came in four takeaways from biden's sweep of arizona and

then down here i don't know he crushed bernie last night pretty much everywhere, you know. But let's just review. These aren't even some of the most recent gaffes by Biden. I went back and dug in a little. But here's some of it. This is the guy who's going to be your nominee. I want you to think about this, you Democrat fucks. We're so blinded by your hatred of Trump.

Senator, anything to report? Successful dump. I dropped everything at the dump. It all worked out. By the way, the second load guy's coming. Anybody who wants to help me unload? Chuck Graham, state senator's here. Chuck, stand up.

Chuck, good to see you. Hey, this is 12 years ago. God love you. What am I talking about? Guy's in a wheelchair. Tells him to stand up. You're making everybody else stand up, though, pal. Thank you very, very much.

I tell you what, stand up for Chuck. Twelve years ago. My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be President of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President. My mother and father believed. Look, John's last minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number one job facing the middle class and it happens to be as Barack says a three-letter word jobs j-o-b-s jobs. Joe you want to administer this is this is am I doing this again

for the senior staff keep your eye on Barack's face. A number of the government members have heard it. Biden's going to make a joke. My memory is not as good as Justice Roberts. Look at Barack's face. Look, look. Look at Barack, you fucking moron. He thinks Biden's a moron. And he's right. Dr. Pepper, and thank you, Chancellor.

Dr. Paper, and thank you, Chancellor. A man who will be the next president of the United States, Barack America. Barack America. But the Taoiseach knows a lot about it. His mom lived in Long Island for 10 years or so. God rest her soul. And although she's, wait, your mom's still alive as your dad passed. God bless her soul.

That was a good comeback, though. I gotta get this straight. Now is the time to heed the timeless advice from Teddy Roosevelt. This is when he had brains. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Watch this one. End of quote. I promise you, the president has a big stick.

It's a black dick show. That can't a big stick. I promise you. That can't be an accident. Somebody wrote that. That's a black dick joke. I would have voted for him if he did that. This is 10 and 12 years ago when he had his fucking marbles. And this is going to be the Democrat nominee. And you really think he's not going to be controlled like a puppet by the fucking rest of the uh democrat machine what are we doing what's going on right now nothing joe just get out there

stand behind the podium we're going to feed shit into your ear and you just anyways the coronavirus is really fucking turning the world upside down so much so the u.s government is going to give citizens emergency financial aid and you can hear the minorities applauding. What? Who the fuck? There's white people, too, who need... Oh, shut it. Give me the money, you understand me?

Give me the fucking money, you hear me? You hear me? I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. He had the phone cord wrapped around his wings coming up. I can't. My fucking eyes eyes i might have corona my eyes are getting smaller donald trump has dramatically stepped up the u.s government's

response to the coronavirus outbreak by announcing plans to send checks direct since when do we spell checks c-h-e-q-u-e-s huh this is an American publication, is it not? Or is this English? Probably English. UK. Sending checks, yeah it is, to directly American citizens to give them emergency financial aid while agreeing to purchase up to one trillion of corporate bonds. I wish somebody could explain that to me. I'll have to call my brother. The White House said it was preparing to send the payments to Americans within two weeks as part of a vast stimulus package to shore up confidence in the world's largest economy as the efforts to contain the disease threaten a global recession. All this fucking good luck Trump's been having and along comes bat soup and holy fuck, he's fighting for his life. Speaking after the Republican senator mitt fucking romney you

remember him the traitor who said uh trump should be impeached the lone republican you remember that filthy mormon uh proposed sending one thousand dollar checks mnuchin said the value of the payments would be bigger than what's uh reported in the press but why the fuck is mitt romney weighing in why would anybody listen to him shut up mind your fucking business and shut up yeah all righty the handouts are part of a wider 850 billion dollar stimulus package that the trump administration's negotiating with congress the bank bailout package agreed at the time of the financial crisis known as tarp remember that when obama took we had the crash uh was worth 700 billion this is bigger than that uh the u.s federal reserve will also invest 10 billion to a special

purpose vehicle to provide guarantees that the central bank would purchase up to one trillion of u.s corporate bonds if required that, man. Aiming to smooth the financial markets after weeks of turmoil. Mnuchin also said the White House planned to allow individual taxpayers to defer payments of up to one mil and for companies for up to 10 mil and steps that could cost the government

as much as 300 billion. So you're going to get some tax relief, thank God, to the bat soup virus that was founded founded in china i'll say it again it's a chinese virus it's the pork fried rice fucking egg roll poopoo platter virus put that in your fucking pipe and smoke it pc fuck stains people are dying you're worried about what they're calling it oh my fucking aching stem. Take it out. Too much coffee.

Chili dog, coffee light. How am I looking at these glasses? Fucking look like a rapist on ID Network. We don't know if he's Italian or he's fucking Latino. Hey, I fucking saw her get into a cab at three in the morning. I had nothing to do with it. Where were you? I was home by myself.

That's where they always are. I took a nap for 18 hours while she was being strangled. Really? Wow. Raz, how are your eyes? You're young. Pretty good. Department of Homeland Security

is considering a plan that would turn away asylum seekers. Oh, is this what it took? Fucking pandemic to fucking protect the borders the way they should be protected? We're going to turn away asylum seekers and anyone who has crossed the southern border illegally in light of the Corona virus. So you heard Trump. All right, get up. Yeah.

So you heard Trump. All right, get up. Yeah. A DHS spokesman told Fox News the president has the authority to do whatever is necessary to protect the American public from this potentially deadly disease. Well, of course he does. It's in right in the fucking. You are correct, sir. President Trump is 100% committed to protecting the American people from the coronavirus and any ideas coming out of Pelosi's head of the Democrat Party. And all options are on the table, he said. The U.S. immigration and customs.

And can we just call it ICE? Do you have to spell out a fucking article? ICE falls under DHS and will be subject to carry out the directive if it were approved. ICE falls under DHS and will be subject to carry out the directive if it were approved. This news comes after the European Union chose to close the bloc's borders to most foreigners. Oh, really? Really? Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain.

For we've received orders for the sale back to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again. You notice borders are very important now? Huh? All the lefties who fucking want to live in a borderless world? All over the planet? You notice now the coronavirus? Oh, it's important to vet people coming into your country, huh?

European Union. Oh! This is actually good for people who don't believe in a borderless world like myself. This is why you have borders. Because scum filters in. Not just during pandemics, okay? Fentanyl pouring over the fucking border from Mexico, killing, by the way,

created in China. Fucking China's behind all this, dudes. Don't fucking kid yourself. But you keep focusing on Russia. But you notice all the talk about borders now? European Union shutting their borders. You racist. Trudeau shut the borders in Canada. He was calling Trump a bigot and a racist. Oh, it matters now. You know what? Trump's been ahead of all you cocksuckers for the last fucking three and a half years.

Why do you make me keep defending him? I don't like his neckties or his hair. why do you make me keep defending him? I don't like his neckties or his hair, but listen. Real quick, I have to do this because this is an important part of the show. You guys realize that we are free Monday through Thursday, which means we've got to bring in – I'm not going to get the stimulus package from Trump. I should. I'd do more for him than any other show. But we need your contributions.

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So go to nickdip.com, click on whatever. Monthly supporters, here's five people signing up at Patreon, which is another great way. If you do that, you get an extra story a day. You get to ask me a question and you get access to 300 shows. Michael Cipriani, Robert Drumheller, Philip Pietropalo, Rob Ringwald, Nick Dip has al dente bitch hips. What the fuck? What the fuck is that? I ain't got no bitch hips. 58 years old.

I'm in good shape. But thank you anyways. That was a good one. That's why I love my fans. I fucking love them. They didn't fuck. I went to Baltimore. They cut through the virus like a bug and they didn't give a shit.

They were with no shirts on. Drinking green tea. Anyhow, you know who else we have to thank? Our new sponsor, which is Tushy, hellotushy.com. You know there's a toilet paper shortage, right? You have to know that right now. You know who doesn't need toilet paper? People who aren't wiping their ass but washing it, which is a good idea.

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It won't clog your toilets. Tushy sprays your ass with fresh water. It's not toilet water. Tushy connects to the water supply behind your toilet to spray your dirty ass with clean, fresh water. The same water that you brush your teeth with. Wet wipes are worse than toilet paper. They're terrible for the environment. They clog toilet pipes and they can cause anal fissures. You don't want your anus fissuring, do you? I actually had a fissure back in the day.

And ouch. But get this, folks. This product, it's only $79. A real bidet. Ever go to a hotel with a real bidet? I think they're trying to put them in the Motel 6, isn't it? It's a guy with a garden hose, a guy who does the... But Tushy's only $79. That is a great deal. How do you get it? You go to hellotushy, H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y dot com forward slash Nick Dip. And we thank Tushy for sponsoring the Nick DiPaolo show. Appreciate it very much. And these times, everybody's fighting over toilet paper.

Couldn't be a better time for the product. Now here's the story that just made me trump having to defend referring to the coronavirus as a chinese virus you know it's real easy let me explain to the the press and people who vote democrat who somehow think they're not racist in any way and that us deplorables are some shit let me explain something to you the virus started in wuhan china what should we call it the fucking new jersey virus it's a chinese virus and i love that trump gets shit from the press they actually ask him about it you know i love like fucking an hour later, he's tweeting the China virus, just sticking it right up there. Trump on Tuesday defended his referring to the coronavirus as the Chinese by calling it a very accurate term.

Trump stood by his use of the phrase, which critics say is loaded with troubling racist connotations. Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. the fuck up oh my god i'm sure if it started in london you'd have a problem calling it the fucking english virus right sure you would here's a video of trump being having his balls busted about something that to me is totally irrelevant. China and others have criticized you for using the phrase Chinese virus. How do you feel about that? Are you going to continue using that phrase?

Well, China was putting out information which was false that our military gave this to them. That was false. And rather than having an argument, I said I have to call it where it came from. It did come from China. So I think it's a very accurate term. But no, I said I have to call it where it came from. It did come from China. So I think it's a very accurate term. But no, I didn't appreciate the fact that China was saying that our military gave it to them. Our military did not give it to anybody. Could critics say using that phrase creates a stigma? No, I don't think so.

No, I think saying that our military gave it to them creates a stigma. End of story. Beautifully handled. How he doesn't jump over the podium and choke a guy with a British accent. But it creates a stigma. What kind of fucking stigma? Nobody gives a shit. So hung up on that. And China knows that. They know race politics in this country is the way to hurt people in power.

And that's what they do. It's, yes, sir. You know what I love about Trump? What do you love about him? Is that he is able to stay calm. He doesn't get mad or pissed off or angry or yell back at people. He stays calm.

You got to. Yeah. You know, look at me. I don't get mad. No, he's a lot better. No, you're right. You see him? That was him at his best.

He just turned it around. But my point is that shouldn't even be coming up. Seriously. People are dying all around the world. And that's what you hung up again? Because it's language. And that's how political correctness is because it's language and that's how political correctness is controlling people's behavior by manipulating the language and that's what they do

and that british jerk off who asked a question and everybody it's just fucking mind-boggling to me it's a virus that started in china they complained when he called it Wuhan. Anyway, since originating in Wuhan, China in late 2019, the coronavirus has infected 190,000 people worldwide as of Tuesday afternoon, killing more than 75. And they're trying to pin it on us, on the American military, and saying that they're going to throw us into the Corona sea by cutting off our supply for antibiotics and shit, which is our fault, you know, but come on.

I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass.

That is some racist shit, isn't it? I kill you. I kill you Americans right now. I put poo-poo in your poo-poo platter. Anyways, the United States will be powerfully supporting those industries. Trump is talking about sending money to U.S. industries that are affected, like the airlines and others that are affected by the virus. And we will be stronger than ever before.

Public health experts including robert redfield director of the federal centers for disease control and prevention have disavowed references to the now global contagion as a chinese disease yeah you can't just you can't handle the truth truth. I don't know. Now this is kind of, this might be considered right, but I'm going to show you a clip, right? This is an Indian guy with his eyes wide open. And there's a Chinese guy who's known in China for how tiny his eyes are. And there was a bunch of comments after the clip, they were interviewing people and Chinese people saying like two of them thought I was a bunch of comments after the clip. They were interviewing people. And Chinese people saying, like, two of them thought I was a little racist. But most people were laughing at it because they're not hung up on this shit, you know.

But this cracked me up. You heard it. He's trying to open his eyes. And then he laughs at the end of it it's just all in fun folks those are racist black guys even though that guy's indian they used to make black people do that on the three stooges remember the guy in the kitchen fucking water squirting out of the pipes his eyes get real that could be a little fucking, I'm just saying, can you just have fun with it and roll with it? We have bigger fucking problems.

I remember Louis C.K. had a great joke when we first moved to New York when he was a young comic. He's saying, you know, white people make fun of Asian people's eyes, but like fucking more than half the population is Asian on the planet or whatever. He goes, so they don't have weird eyes.

We have weird googly round eyes. Guy in Texas. Guy in Texas was arrested for falsely claiming in a social media post to be infected with a coronavirus. People lie on Tinder all the time about not having AIDS and fucking STDs. Do they get arrested? But this guy, why would you do that now, sir? You're lying. And you're a piece of shit.

The unidentified person allegedly said over the weekend that they tested positive for the virus at Tyler County Hospital, according to the Tyler County District Attorney's Office. And he's full of shit. We know that. He's lying. The DA's office charged a person with circulating a false report

in a separate Facebook post. What about free speech? The DA's office warned that one can be charged with a crime for knowingly communicating, initiating, or circulating a false report, false alarm of COVID-19 that one knows is false or baseless, which I think is prudent at this point. You don't want people fucking around like that. As of Tuesday, Texas had recorded 64 cases of coronavirus,

then a case and a half of Bud Light, and a case and a half of Bud Light, and a case and a half of Heineken Light. Anyways, none of those 64 cases have come out of Tyler County. Interesting. Why would you do that, sir? What are you doing? That's how bad people want attention. We are the most media-driven society on the planet.

People, you saw the hot chick licking the toilet, airplane toilet seat yesterday. She has 160,000 people on her Instagram because of her tits and how she looks, and that's not enough. She's licking a toilet seat. Mother of God. I do this because I need the fucking cash. You understand?

10 years, I'll be fucking dead. Ow, my eye! More corona shit. This isn't going to go away, is it? New York City coronavirus cases increased by more than 101 day. Now, that's not surprising. Do you know why? Because there's 11,000 people for every square foot in Manhattan.

If you ever spend any time in New York City, you talk about a perfect place to breed something. My God, but that's a a lot isn't it sure it is say it is if that's a fact tell me am i lying there are currently at least 923 confirmed uh covid 19 patients in the city think about it city's almost 10 million up from 814 reported cases earlier tuesday de blasio said at msm guys like de blasio get an erection when shit like this hat you know why because we have to rely on the government and you you know i'm not a big government person but this is when you need them right don't depend on 100 but but they should protect us with the military, right? And then something like this, and that's it.

Then mind your business. Leave us the fuck alone. If I want to plant a tree in my yard, I shouldn't have to fill out 19 permits. If I want to put a new toilet in it, I shouldn't have to clear that with the fucking government. Anyways, it's unbelievable how rapidly the crisis is growing, said shithead de Blasio. You know, maybe that has something to do with you, mayor. The guy sleeps till 10 o'clock. He's late for his press conference. The mayor reiterated that residents should prepare for an unprecedented shelter in place order to contain the coronavirus. The mayor expects as many as 10,000 cases of the disease in the Big Apple by next week.

Excuse me. The idea of shelter in place has to be considered now. It has to be with between, in our case, the city and the state working together. Problem. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you. You know, it's funny. He's saying the state and the city working together. You know, they hate each other, de Blasio and Cuomo.

They pretend to like each other. They hate each other. But everything has to be cleared through the state. If New York City says, well, you can't come out of your house, all that will do is cause you to stay with your cousin in Westchester, Cuomo said, adding that he's working on coordinating restrictions with Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Connecticut. There's not going to be any quarantine, Cuomo said. His honor admitted on MSNBC he has differences with Cuomo,

joking that the two could share a social distance. Are you funny, motherfucker? This has to be done with the state because it's the only way it works. And if it happens, it's because the state thinks it's the right thing to do, he said. Blah, blah, blah. How about this, de Blasio? How about not making your fucking city a sanctuary city and giving illegals driver's license and using it as a magnet to attract everybody from all over the world they'd have a dawn on you

mr open borders huh you know i mean does it even register my concern he says right now if we don't see an intensive federal event intervention providing income replacement a serious effort to keep people as whole as possible, you will see household budgets collapse, he said. And that's where I come in, because that's what we do, us libs. We rely on you people not being able to wipe your own ass. Oh, God, gives me a headache. Stop getting cocky. It's a wet dream for guys like this. I was watching Tucker Carlson last night, right? He had some guy on for me that runs like Connecticut hospitals. Dr. Ned Lamont, something like that, or Lamont.

Anyways, I was watching the interview, and all of a sudden the guy goes, I have 200 nurses at a hospital in Connecticut, a couple of hospitals that I run, that are on furlough because of the virus. her on furlough because of the virus. So I sat up and I went, that sounded very political. This guy must be an anti-Trump guy. And sure enough, they go to break, they come back, Tucker Carlson goes, he goes, we just had a guest that said he had 200 nurses on furlough. And he goes, I immediately got a bunch of texts from people in Connecticut in the industry saying that was totally untrue. So before the show was over,

they actually did some digging and found out it was untrue. So that's some scumbag hospital administrator playing politics with this. You know what I mean? That's all it was. It stuck out like a sore thumb to me while watching the interview.

You would have heard about that. My wife's from Connecticut. She would have heard about it from her niece who's a nurse. You know? And sure enough, I got to watch tonight to see if they do an update on him. But a bunch of people said he's full of shit. And they weren't just Trump supporters. They were hospital people.

But that's what people do with this, you know. Here's another genius on the left. This guy, district attorney from Philly. We've talked about this guy before, Larry Krasner. He's a real fucking lefty. He's called on the city's police force to turn a blind eye to all but serious offenses in order to help prevent the spread of the. So now instead of dying of the disease, you can get shot or raped or stabbed. Am I exaggerating? No, not really. It's Philly. Fuck, another dummy. To him I say... What's the idea?

Get upstairs. They're telling the cops to fucking turn... Only the... You know, only rapes and murders, but the rest of it, you shouldn't be. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. He says, I look forward to the decisions the police are going to make about arrests. Krasnick complained. What was that?

Oh, okay, Raz. All of a sudden I heard Raz pissing. Krasnick complained about officers who have recently arrested suspects for offenses. He's complaining that cops are doing their job for offenses such as a simple drug possession and unlicensed alcohol sales. of the criminal justice system becoming infected with the coronavirus. Tough. It's part of your job. Look the other way. Are you fucking, you make that announcement in public?

Seriously. You don't think the fucking criminals are going to go crazy the next fucking couple months? How the fuck do you make that statement publicly unless you're a left-wing dick? I hope you get it, Mr. Krasner. It spreads to you and your fucking rotten family. Just kidding.

Don't know your family, but you, I've read about you plenty. You're just a fucking American-hating piece of cheese. He says, we want to make sure the police are safe. How about the fucking people who pay their salaries? You want to make sure they're safe?

Us civilians? Want to make sure the police are safe and don't have prolonged contact with people that have the virus. Taking one person

back to the police station risks everyone at the station. Okay. But you said serious crimes you will arrest people. So if you bring one rapist, a murderer back, you're going to... What are you talking about?

Take one, put everybody at risk at the station. They go into custody, they endanger other inmates. Oh, Jesus. I hope somebody who breaks the law on a regular basis has a rap sheet as long as my ass doesn't get the sniffles. What the fuck? They endanger other inmates. And that great cruise ship that is jail, he calls it. Another funny motherfucker. Krasner has urged Philly police commissioner, get this.

Get this girl's name. And again, woman police commissioner. Get this. Get this girl's name. And again, woman police commissioner. Something white supremacists predicted back in the 80s. Krasner has urged Philly police commissioner Danielle Outlaw. That's like the cop during Rodney King, Coons, all all these where how many stories have we done with the names fucking i'll say that again philly police commissioner danielle outlaw to instruct the city's police force to only focus on serious offenses in order to curb the spread of the coronavirus oh my god i i can't believe what i'm reading don't say a fucking word to me i'll get up and i'll bury this telephone in your head.

In the meantime, the district attorney has been revising policies within his office regarding bail and deciding whether or not to charge offenders in order to ensure only people who present a danger to the public are held in it. Maybe you think, but just by you saying that, you know, we know people, we know criminals follow the news, like in California, right, the threshold for a felony, they lowered it, or they upped it, I should say, whatever, remember, up to 950, and what happened, fucking criminals actually going into Apple stores to calculate, making sure they're staying under the limit. This guy's out there going, cops, relax. Unless it's a fucking rape, murder, pedophile.

Because I don't want to get sick. I have a Patreon question. All right, brother man. Hey, Nick, I fucking love you, sir. This is from Adam from Melbourne, Australia, I'm guessing. No homo. Why not? I like a little ball rubbing. Keep telling the truth. Don't stop. My question is, why do you think it seems only white people have this self-hatred of their race? No other race does this. Other races have pride and love for themselves. Not us.

Why? Is it indoctrination at schools or something? More. It's a lot of that. It's white liberal people, you understand, who figured out that the race card, look, fucking England controlled the fucking planet for a while, back in the day, back in the William Wallace days,

and all that stuff. But in order to do that, you have to be a pretty smart fucking race. Don't you? Yeah, you do. Yeah. Um, but it's liberals, it's white fucking liberals who figured out. And like you brought up academia, you're dead, right? If you teach generation after generation, how bad this country is you would think we're the only country that ever had slavery do you know it didn't start here but do you know it ended here does anybody fucking bring that up um and but you're right about academia bright brainwashing through the media for the last 40 years has people convinced you see young white

kids they don't even know who they are they They dress like they're fucking black. They talk like they want to be part of the underclass. The fucking media drove that home. You're watching it take fruition. It's been going, again, read the book, Slouching Towards Gomorrah. Robert Bork, who's going to be a judge, and I think he's dead now. But that's the book that opened my eyes. He was confirming all the shit I had in my head that I wasn't saying. But yes, that's the truth of it. And you can't blame other minorities and other races for taking advantage of this fucking white guilt, but it's white people doing it to white people. The civil rights, you know, all that shit's good, but now they've gone frigging overboard.

It's white people doing it to white people. So that's the answer to the question. Yeah, you don't hear any other races doing that. Let's lighten it up here. Florida man who was peeing all over room attacks Good Samaritan who tried to stop him. We had to do this one. Fucking a little levity to break the tension. Hey, I heard that earlier in the show.

A drunk Florida man thanked the Good Samaritan who gave him a place to stay when he couldn't get home by peeing all over his bedroom and then attacking him. You're fucking crazy. This is Melbourne, Florida. Where else? The victim said he was at a party in downtown Melbourne on Saturday when he met

Colin Geib who he described as a friend of a friend. Geib, 23, was drunk, didn't have a way to get home, and couldn't provide his address, so the victim took him back to his place so he could have a safe place. You're kind of a dummy to have taken a guy back you barely know. I don't care if you're a girl or a guy. I ain't doing it.

That's why I'm a dick. Hey, you mind helping my buddy? Yeah, I do. I'm going to wake up and he's pissing on my Cheerios? Fuck that. Call Uber. Oh, you didn't have Cheerios? Fuck that. Call Uber. Oh, you didn't have any money? Tough shit.

Get a job. The victim allowed Gebe to sleep in his room and went to sleep in the other room for the night. Sunday morning, the victim heard noises from the house and found Gebe peeing everywhere in the room. Police said the victim repeatedly asked Gebe to leave, but Gebe wouldn't and instead became upset and turned violent. He came at me with his dick out and he attacked me, the victim said. Gibb, who is six feet tall, 170 pounds, punched the man multiple times, attempted to choke him

and pushed him into a wall before the victim was able to wrestle Geib out of the front door and call police, wreck and show. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? When asked about the incident, Geib said, you heard the whole story, there is nothing I need to tell you, and asked, why am I here? Police said they found blood at the front door, holes in the walls, and a room saturated with urine.

No good deed goes unpunished. That's why I don't do good deeds. No good deeds. I'm very selfish like that. If my cousin was fucked up enough, I wouldn't give him a ride home from a party. That's why my car is clean. There's no puking it. No.

Let's get to the real news of the day. I can't believe I showed up for work. I was so depressed. One of my unfavorite. Tampa is one of my favorite comedy towns. Don't get me wrong. But the Buccaneers, I never cared for that franchise. Never cared for it.

Did they beat? They beat the Raiders, I think, when Gruden coached. Right? They won a Super Bowl. But anyways, that division. I live now in Georgia. I have to watch that division of the Houston Texans, teams that nobody cares about, the Indianapolis Colts. Then again, I used to watch the AFC East.

I could watch Brady put up 80 against Buffalo in the first half. The point being is my boy Tom Brady is now a fucking buccaneer. After all this, out of all the teams, I know they have two great receivers, Williams and Godwin. And Arians is supposedly an offensive genius. Well, how many Super Bowls has he won? Wasn't he like the Cardinals coach forever? But you know what?

No income tax in Florida. When you're making 30 mil a year. Come on. But somebody put up a funny video. These deep fake videos, deep state, whatever the fucking deep fake videos, are pretty creepy. I don't know if you guys have ever seen the movie The Town with Ben Affleck. It's about like Southie or Charlestown in Boston. And if you didn't see

this isn't gonna mean much to you but it's a scene uh they put brady's face on it and the guy who put out posted this said this is edelman trying to convince brady to stay and not go to florida but watch this what does it sound like i don't know what's that what's that mean what the f**k you thinking man what does that mean you're done it sounds like? I don't know. What's that mean? What the f*** you think it means? What does that mean you're done? It sounds like a bunch of f***ing bulls***. I'm putting this whole f***ing town in my rear view. There's people I can't let you walk away from. What? I don't know who the f*** you think you are, either.

You either want to let me or not let me do s***. Alright, here's a little f little fucking cheat sheet for you. It's never going to be me and you and your sister and Shine fucking playing house up there. All right, you got it? Get that in your fucking head. I'm tired of your one-way fucking bullshit. If you want to see me again, come down and visit me in Florida. Go.

That settled in smack and break. That's, did you hear his accent? Ben Affleck, that's a real Bostonian, right? That's how I sounded when I, I still sound a little bit like that. But when I moved to New York, half my jokes weren't flying because my accent was heavier than that.

But I thought that was pretty clever. And it's creepy how good these fake videos are getting. How long before they show fucking you know Trump going like this in the White House and making you know I mean anyways so he's a buccaneer uh let me just real quick here uh at the last NFL combine last month Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Bruce Arians was asked, of all the free agent quarterbacks, which one would you pick up the phone to recruit? He didn't hesitate. Tom Brady, he said. Three weeks later, and what might go down as one of the most improbable moves in all the sports, Arians' Hail Mary attempt landed the six-time Super Bowl winner and perhaps, what do you mean perhaps the greatest of all time? Fucking how can you argue?

What's the perhaps? Probably a New Yorker writing this. Perhaps. It's the fucking greatest period. Just look at his resume, for the love of Christ. He should be president of the world. Goddamn, he landed them, though. Aryans landed them. Fucking pissing me the fuck off.

Oh, that dirty cocksucker. Now Brady leaves New England for warmer weather, an estate with no income tax. That's attractive. But it was 67-year-old Arians, the two-time NFL Coach of the Year, who's, does he have a ring yet? Who has been known to greet players with, hey, babe. It's not Belichick like at all uh and celebrates wins in the parking lot after games who offered brady the greatest appeal a change in scenery blah bing blah blink bing uh make no mistake

about it it says the arians teams work hard and are coached hard but they have fun too i don't think that's what brady br Brady's not down there to have fun, okay? Brady was like Belichick. He's a drill side. He's all about business, man. The Bucs hope Jameis Winston, Mr. I steal crab legs and fucking rape college students

and get away with it. Just my opinion. Guy could wing a football, but he always threw it to the wrong team. He sucked. The Bucs hoped Winston could blossom into the franchise quarterback, selecting him first overall in 2050. But turnovers plagued him. You think so?

88 interceptions and 111 turnovers are both the most of any player in the league since 2015. If anybody needed a Tom Brady. Oh, my God. How are those for numbers winston last year led the nfl with 5109 passing yards but also became the that was in 2019 also became the first quarterback to throw 30 touchdowns and 30 interceptions brady hasn't thrown 30 interceptions in his career, has he?

30 in a year. What are you doing, man? Maybe he was colorblind. They should check his. The question that must be answered now, can Brady replicate his Patriots magic without Belichick? How does Arians' no-risket-no-biscuit system fit the 42-year-old passer no more for carving teams up underneath than throwing long, you know?

What are you kidding me? It's about winning. And believe me, Arians will go, listen, I'll do whatever you want, Tom. This is how it's going to go. Seriously, what did you do? Do you want to do the under little dink passes? Well, you know, they got two great receivers, though, right? Mike Evans.

I think I said Williams before. Mike Evans and Chris Godwin. Anyways, you know, Brady, he's never thrown more than 14 interceptions or turned the ball over more than 17 times in a season, and he's got Godwin and Evans now. Got to give him a line, though. Because last year they surrendered 47 sacks. One off from the league high.

But they say they're going to draft an offensive. Yeah, you're going to need more than that. And that's the first thing, man. That was Brady for his whole 20 years hardly ever got touched. Ever. They hardly laid a hand on him last year. It wasn't too good, but you give him time.

He's going to carve you up. I don't care if he's 82 anyways. So that's it. I can't believe this is the world we live in folks. Biden could be the nominee. Brady's a fucking buck in here and the coronavirus those that are locusts are coming tomorrow

and it's going to be over it's over Johnny it's never over you don't just turn it off you know you ask me how did I do Chinese eating bat soup and all that vile shit

alright that's enough for today ladies and gentlemen remember please if you want a shirt like this by the way I saw about 10 of them in Baltimore at the show nickdip.com you go and there's a store there I believe right where we sell things.

Yeah. And it's a nice t-shirt. They fit. You know what I mean? It's that soft cotton stuff. This one I stretched out. I had it on a 400-pound girl a couple weeks ago. You know, she put it on as a nightie. Anyways, nickdip.com. I don't know what they cost, but really, it's a great T-shirt. I see them all the time. I actually saw somebody in Georgia when I first moved down here once. Come up to me. I love you, Shil.

I love them as well. Keep your shit up, boy. That is it. What am I forgetting, Raz? Cameo.com. If you want me to make a personal video roasting one of your friends or your parents or whatever, I will make it on my phone. You tell me something about the person, I will destroy their day.

It's a lot of fun. That's Cameo.com. People can support the show on Patreon. You can support the show on Patreon.com. You do that, you subscribe, you get an extra story every day, like I'm about to do when we shut off here, and you can have the ability to ask questions and you have access to all the previous shows.

Remember, you guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. See you back here tomorrow. Stay safe. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.