The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Blunder Rattles China | Nick Di Paolo Show #1213

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Biden's military support for Taiwan. Biden history of lies. Parson encouraging squating. Trans teacher seeks validation from 3 year olds. Fist fight at airport.

🎵 🎵 La la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, folks. Good to be back. Sorry yesterday. Sick as a dog. I didn't feel that great when I headed down to South Carolina, but I didn't tell anybody. I actually took the COVID test at my house and was negative, but it's been a while. I've been feeling really run down, sweating through the sheets again. Look at my white tongue. Look. See how discolored it is? Oh my God, I almost look yellow. See how discolored it is? Oh, my God, I almost look yellow. Is that the reflection from my tie?

Yeah. I think I have thrush, which is a ban out of Canada. Very good. COVID tongue. Wife has it, too. Googled it. White bumps on the side. Fuck it, I'm dying.

I'm dying over here. My tongue is falling off. Yeah, I just felt, I was sweating through my clothes on stage. But, you know, the adrenaline when you're on stage, just, it kills it. I come off and I feel like new. And then it creeps back in. I wake up the next morning, and I couldn't even hardly talk yesterday. It was a good move saying no show Monday because I'm not feeling the best,

yet I'm still going to fucking sweat it out, which is, I'll feel even worse when I'm done working. But I got to. I'm going to a wedding. I got to look nice, you know? I got a lot of hot nieces. What? Cut!

Anyways. Yeah. So let me tell you that until I'm driving. We'll be doing a show today, tomorrow, Thursday, and then get a wedding in Ohio. Yes, I'm driving. Going to break it up into a few days. Don't know if I'll be back Monday or not,

but because the wedding's Sunday. Anyhow, enough of that horse shit. Real quick, Red Sox update that you guys probably hate. Trevor Story, the guy we paid a lot of money for, who's been striking out every third time the first month. Well, he is now the hottest Red Sox on the planet. He had five home runs and 14 ribbies in a four-game series against the Mariners and was player of the month, I think,

in the American League or whatever. He's actually leading Devers in RBIs. This is, can you imagine? And he had a horrible, and they said he was going to have a horrible first month because I guess he missed most of spring training. And then his wife had a baby, all kinds of shit. So, oh my God.

And Devers is hitting just, he's hitting 350-something. He's got 10 homers, whatever. I mean, leads the league in hits, hardest hit balls, extra bases. He's 25 fucking years old. Any, I'm just saying they won five in a row. What do you guys care? You've watched them all over the country, but I'm just saying. And NHL hockey, if you're not watching it, you're really a homosexual. I've never, it's the best spectator sport, playoff're not watching it, you're really a homosexual. It's the best spectator sport. Playoff hockey, anybody will tell you.

Football plays like it. It's vicious. And anyways, enough of that. What else did I want to – what happened to me over the weekend? Nolan's. Oh, yeah. I'll get to Dallas. Thank you guys for coming out, by the way, South Carolina.

Jeff and Christine, his wife, run the club, the Daughters of the Wait. It's a family business, and they are so nice. I didn't even ask. I come off stage to go back to the hotel. There's a sandwich waiting for me. I mean, just super nice people, and the crowd's a little light because it was biker weekend,

and nobody goes inside unless they're getting arrested on biker weekend. So, anyways, thanks to those guys. Yeah, let's get to Dallas real quick. Went to New Orleans on business with his girlfriend, Gianna. Got a couple quick clips of that. Look at Johnny Depp playing keyboards on the left. Guy on trombone. Is that John Candy? And that's the music they play at funerals down there in New Orleans.

Right? It's the same shit. That's what I love. What else did you do? See, they do it right, Dallas and Gianna, when they go. Look it. See, I don't do anything like this. There's Gianna.

Like a movie star. They were doing a remake of the African Queen. Right after that, Dallas pushes her overboard. Look at, speaking of, yeah, check this out. You wanna go overboard? This freaks me the fuck out. Okay, I'm back on the plane. Back to Savannah if I see this anywhere near me. By the way, maybe the coolest creature on the planet. You all beat up.

I don't even know if I want to kiss you. Wow. Look at him. That alligator knows that guy. Look at his back all tore up. Back all tore up. Meanwhile, his hands are foot from 90 teeth. Do you fucking believe how he just tickled that thing?

But he acted like that was his pet. Oh, they knew, right? Yeah, they're all used to the airboaters. They feed him marshmallows as little treats. Yeah, put a marshmallow onto your dick. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't put my hand near that mouth. And what they like to do, folks, is, I know Dallas said, oh, they fucking,

I go, yeah, tell that to the, tell it to that woman a couple years ago who had her kids at Disney World. Remember Disney World, whatever, that big alligator come out of the lake and fucking drown the kid. That'll put a damper on the weekend, won't it? Can you fucking imagine? Anyhow, all right, let's get to it. Let's get to the goddamn harsh shit, as my mother would say. Real quick clip. I just saw this before coming on. I just want to, again, just to remind you what things are like in this country under Joe Biden. And it's a quick clip of Huntington Beach, California, jewelry store, family run, just like the comedy club, family run business. And naturally, since

shoplifting and theft and everything has become legal for black people, thanks to the Biden administration, and that's exactly right, I see this shit. It still shocks me. You could show me a thousand of these. Why the cops aren't there or nobody there of a professional nature to stop this shit. So have the cops been told to stand down? Honestly, is this reparations? I really, nobody even talks about it. They go, you know.

And when cops don't do their job, you know, the people who work, they have to, especially in family business. So this family decided to take the law into their own hands. Go ahead. Alan's video shows four hooded robbers enter the princess black robbers the first one smashing the front jewelry case with a hammer but watch on the top left side of your screen as a store employee runs out and starts attacking one of the robbers another employee quickly joins in look at the woman.

Now look it. Now here comes. That's a black employee with a stool. I love it. See? Honest to God, that makes me feel good. That's a black woman working with a white family. You know?

So don't tell me. And don't tell me about stereotyping people about crime and shit. I don't for the life of me understand. And she uses the word attack when the employees attack the robbers. Do you see? She's a journalist. She went to journalism school. And what did the guy say that I was complaining about, Dallas?

He led off with, don't try this at home. Don't try this at home, he says. Don't try it. First of all, I can't. I don't have a jewelry store in my living room, you fuckstain. And secondly, why not? If somebody breaks into your home, don't try it. No, do exactly what they did.

Make sure you have a gun first. Why you wouldn't have it why they wouldn't have a bunch of guns is yeah it's california fuck it so that's legal but if you pulled out a gun you'd go to jail probably honest to god where are the cops what the fuck i'm sure they came five minutes after the call went in or whatever. But they, don't try this at home. That's the lesson. Are you fucking kidding me? Arm yourself at home. That's right.

Don't try hand-to-hand combat. Maybe that's what they meant. Take out your goddamn fucking 870 and your 38 and your AR-15 and spray the joint. Like they're ants and that's raid in your gun. Fucking scumbags. I, I, I, I, and nobody does shit. Call the cops. And the cops

will do what? They're not going to do anything. They're going to pretend to fill out some paperwork. They'll come down and shit like that. And those people, and even if they did get busted, they're back on the streets in a fucking company because of, you know, jerk-off out there. Huntington Beach.

I'll never get desensitized to that shit. No, law and order is racist, I guess, in the United States, depending on who the suspect is. There's people still in prison because they were wandering around the Capitol on January 6th. Yet these motherfuckers can go free after shooting somebody, robbing.

Just think about that. It's not an accident, folks. The Biden administration hates you. Fuck, they have contempt for you, you hardworking taxpayers. They can't wait to get you out of the way. Ah, I really... It makes me so mad.

I'm black, y'all. And I'm black, y'all. And I'm blacker than black. And I'm black, y'all. Imagine telling business owners just to call the cops. You know, and they're like, yeah, really? Fuck you and fuck you. Who's next?

Ah, help us, Lordy, Lordy, Lordy. Anyhow, let's get to the next story. Clean up on aisle Biden. President Biden said Monday that the United States would intervene militarily if China, China, oh boy, if China imported vodka, if China were to invade Taiwan in one of the most forceful and overt statements of American government support for Taiwan in decades, and naturally, because it was so, you know, such a strong statement in decades. And naturally, they had to backpedal because Doofus here, this is a case of him always being, I'm going to explain to you how it works, right?

They have an airpiece in, they're telling him, he might as well be a quarterback in the huddle with a coach. And they're telling him what to say, right? But every once in a while, Joe Biden goes off and goes, you know what, I'm the goddamn president. I'll answer this one myself. And every time he does, he fucks it up is right. Anyways, speaking at a joint news conference in Tokyo with Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida, Mr. Biden. Look at that. It's kind of a, I don't know.

It's kind of a Japanese guy with a suit. Mr. Biden was asked this by CBS News correspondent Nancy Cordes. So she's going to ask him this question and he's going to, Joe's going to take this one on his own like a man. Go ahead. Are you willing to get involved militarily to defend Taiwan if it comes to that? Yes. You are? That's a commitment we made. That's a commitment we made.

Yes. Yes, it's a commitment we made. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck. You know that? We agree, he says, with a one China policy. I thought one China policy meant having one baby. Do you remember that? They used to call it that, didn't they?

Now they mean one China. In other words, you're not fucking going to take everybody around you. We signed on to it and all the attendant agreements made from there. But the idea that it, Taiwan, could be taken by force, just taken by force. It's just not appropriate. Oh, are we living in a world where you do appropriate shit, you fucking Megatron, you? It'll dislocate the entire region. He's reading this off of fucking his forearm. And be another action similar to what happened in Ukraine.

And so it's a burden that is even stronger, this mamaluk said. And the president then said, U.S. policy towards Taiwan has not changed at all, stressing his government's commitment to the peace and stability across Taiwan Strait. Yeah, that's a good way to enable peace is to come out and go, yeah, if they try any shit, we'll be right over there.

We're like, guns fly. Back in the day, that would have been a good statement, but it's a little late for that. You saw what, you saw us trying to leave Afghanistan. I'm sure China's licking its chops across the Taiwan Strait

and ensuring that there's no unilateral change to the status quo. The president said Beijing was flirting. I'll say it again, flirting with danger with recent military flights close to Taiwan. Beijing was quick to respond with foreign ministry spokesman Wang Wenbin, and he had to say this. Biden, just a little reminder from China to Joe that we know everything about Biden. No one should underestimate the firm resolve, staunch will, this is China talking back, and strong ability of the Chinese people in defending national sovereignty and territorial integrity,

according to French news agency AFP. It was the second time within a year that Mr. Biden has left people questioning, such an idiot, his administration's stance on the long-held unofficial U.S. government policy of strategic ambiguity on Taiwan. What that means is you don't know, you don't let them know ahead of time how you're going to react. That's all that means. You leave them fucking ambiguous. They don't know what you're going to do, but not stupid over here. We'll be over there at about 3.30 Chinese time.

This poor bastard. I'm telling you, he gets sick of every once in a while he's going to take one of his own. Do you understand? Tomorrow, he won't remember he was there. That's what's kind of creepy about the whole thing. And China's right to speak up.

Imagine if we said, you know, Coney Island is ours. And China said, no, we're going to, you start any shit with Coney Island, we're coming over there. Whatever. Great analogy. Got a C plus in marketing. Soon after he made the remarks, the White House released a statement insisting that he's a jerk off and he didn't even really win the election.

That's from his own people. No. They released a statement insisting, as Mr. Biden did after his comments in Tokyo on Monday, that there had been no change in official U.S. policy on Taiwan. Well, then, okay. So what he just said, what they're saying is ambiguity is what we're supposed to be doing. They're cleaning up for Joe, once again, like a puppy that shit on the rug for the 18th time this week. What makes me laugh about all this is he has us on the edge of nuclear war with Russia. Now he's flicking the nose of the Chinese. This is all the shit they said Donald Trump was going to do.

And he did none of it do you understand what does it tell you that Donald Trump a novice to politics is fucking four times a president 400 times than this mamalu who did politics for a living it tells you we don't need

politicians anymore we need a real douch least the ones that are. We need a real douching. All right, my eyes are watering. Probably, again, some type of fucking Kobe chinky. Let's stay on Captain Biden, shall we? Joe Biden, I just found this. Somebody put it up. Very refreshing. I'm old enough to remember all these lies that he told. Biden, lie about the election that he won? Saying of a stone, would he lie about that? Nah.

What makes you think he has a history of lying? Well, here's a little montage that we stumbled on from the doomed Biden campaign in 1988. Let's take a listen and watch the whole minute, minute and a half and enjoy the greatest hits of stupid. New Hampshire. I went to law school on a full academic scholarship. The only one in my in my class to have a full academic scholarship went back to law school and in fact ended up in the top half of my class. I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my class i was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year i graduated with three degrees from undergraduate

school 165 credits only 123 credits biden now concedes he did not graduate in the top half of his law school class that he does not have three degrees from college and that he was not named outstanding political science student in college newsweekweek says Biden actually went to school on a half scholarship, ended up near the bottom of his class, and won only one degree, not three. Joe Biden ranked 76th in the class of 85 at the University of Syracuse Law School. I mean, this guy comes off this whole thing as a flyweight. Now Biden says Newsweek is right. His memory had failed him. And I'd be delighted to sit down and compare my IQ to yours if you'd like, Frank.

Joe Biden was victimized by the truth. Bye-bye Biden. He may not know it yet, but I think this is going to be very difficult. Here comes my favorite. I miss McLaughlin Group so much. That's Eleanor Cliff, by the way. That's how old I am. She's been probably, I don't know, she's still alive.

But listen, he's the best host in the history of Sunday morning shows. He just goes around. They used to make fun of him on SNL. He'll just go, Joe, your thought. Watch. For him to recover. Is Joe Biden dead meat? Yes or no?

I think so. Bob. Bob. Terminal condition. Terminal. Eleanor. Eleanor. Yes, unless he comes in third in Iowa.

Morton. Dying. I say dead. Bye-bye. That's him. That's the bye-bye guy. You know that, Eleanor? That's where I got that.

That's how he ended every show. Bye-bye. He goes, dead meat. He goes, not Morton. He goes, Morton. And now he's president. Yeah, exactly. What does that tell you?

That's right. That's a good point. You lie like a motherfucker, climb that ladder. Yeah, so you believe you get 80 million, 81 million votes, right? People, sock my white European cock tonight. Joe? You're a loser. You'll always be a loser.

I can't remember who turned me on to Black Buffalo. Hi, I have it right here. It's very relaxing at night while I'm watching hockey. But I'm glad they did. I'll tell you what, I think it was Dallas' sister, Sharon. I like all their flavors and it's quality stuff. For those of you who don't know, Black Buffalo is a tobacco alternative and comes in wintergreen, mint, straight, peach, and blood orange.

They have both long cut and pouches. Are you still dipping traditional tobacco with those little white portion things? If so, and you're 21, it's time to get with Black Buffalo. Come on, pick up the pace. It's everything you love about dipping, just without the actual tobacco leaf or stem. Head to blackbuffalo.com. Use promo code NICKDIP at checkout for 25% off your first order. That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to use my code NICKDIP for 25% off your first order.

One last time, that's promo code NICKDIP for 25% off your first order. One last time, that's promo code NickDip for 25% off your first order. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical that I enjoy very much. Okay, folks? Okay, take it easy. What do we got here? Rebecca, who doesn't like pecker. What do we got here? Rebecca, who doesn't like Pekka. You ever see Richard Pryor when he imitates white people? He's talking about, I'm cutting in line at the movies, and he goes, every once in a while you run into a white guy. Hey, fuck you, Pekka head!

You fucking Pekka head! Anyhow, Rebecca, who doesn't like PECA, Washington Democrat, congressional candidate, Rebecca Parson, has a bold idea to get Congress to pass housing legislation. I didn't know everybody was guaranteed housing. Look, I'm going to teach you guys another trick. Just look at the rim of her glasses. It'll tell you how much she liked coconut. She gave up on men in about eighth grade. I can tell from the rim of her glasses, this ginger left wing. She's a social. At least she admits it. But why those glasses? Do you have to look like, do you have to wear the glasses that Michael, Michael, you know, who dug this war and falling down? That's what they are.

Anyways, to get Congress to pass the housing legislation, have a million people, this is what she wants people to do, have a million people break into empty houses across the country. That's her plan. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! Parson, a member of the Democrat Socialists of America, is running to represent Washington

6th Congressional District. Nick? 6th Congressional District. In a video, you can leave that in, by the way. No, I'm doing it. In a video ad,

she outlined what she and her followers can do if she wins. Check out this commercial she made. Again, I don't know. I like rebel rouses, even though, you know, she's a socialist whore and I could slit her throat with a fucking spork and sleep like a lamb.

But let's take a look at this Gingers commercial. Now you do what they told you. Now you do what they told you. I did what they told me. I went to college. I got a master's degree. I ended up living in my car. Pause.

I just like to train a thought. Because I went to school, got a master's degree. That should guarantee I should be successful. You owe me. I did what I had to do. No, that's just to get started in life. You chubby young lady. Go home and be ashamed of your hips. Go ahead. I did what they told me. Protests, letters, phone calls, nothing changed.

So I stopped doing what they told me. We occupied empty buildings and got 200 shelter beds added in our town. 200 people who didn't freeze to death. Billionaires tell us, you'll own nothing and you'll be happy. Well, fuck that. They want you depressed and hopeless. No. Fuck that,

she said. You blow your father with that mouth? Go ahead. You should be angry and hopeful. Imagine I proposed a housing for all bill in Congress. Then imagine you, me, and a million of our friends took action and occupied empty houses nationwide. They couldn't ignore us. No one has ever done anything like this.

That's why it's going to work. Yeah, no one's done everything like this. You know why no one has ever done anything like this. That's why it's going to work. Pause. Yeah, no one's done everything like this. You know why no one's ever done anything? Because it won't work. And if you break it into even houses that are unoccupied and you're white, the cops will show up and do their job. So what you should do is surround yourself with a bunch of black people, then it might work. But even the black people have had enough of the left-wing socialist horseshit. Biden's losing. That's their worst nightmare, the Democrats. They are fucking bleeding out as far as black voters. It's their worst nightmare.

You go, Joe. I'll let Chubby finish up. Are you ready? For what, lunch? Fuck you, I won't do what you're telling me. Fuck you, I won't do what you're telling me. Who said that? You know who said're telling me. Who said that? You know who said it.

Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? That would be Miss Parsons. Fox News reached out to Parsons and grabbed her by the throat and choked her. No. They reached out to her campaign for details of the plan, but they did not

immediately respond back naturally. What the fuck's no? On the surface, the strategy appears to amount to trespass, a misdemeanor in Washington state, I'm guessing, although state law does say that it is a

defense of, that it is a defense if the property is abandoned. Really? Really? Yeah, they're out there. Judge, what's his name? Not judge, governor, fucking J. Occupying buildings is nothing new for Parsons. In 2020, she was a spokesperson for the group Tacoma Housing

Now, which organized a group of homeless people in 16 rooms at a motel in Fife, Washington. I happened to be playing the Rascals there, and I stayed with them. Boy, nobody showered that way. How about that? Can I just say this about her? I got to be honest. I hate her politics and whatever. But you know what? She's not just yapping. She's out doing something. You know what I mean?

I love the Jim Jordans and the Ted Cruz's where you see them on TV talking a tough game. You don't see them out there beating up BLM members with the butt of their gun. That would make me like them. She acts, but you know what? And she will win out there,

right? Bernie Sanders must fucking jerk off to this, bro. The group paid for one night for the rooms, then demanded that the city, see this is where your plan goes awry, the city and state governments pay as the people refuse to leave. It's called squatting.

The people, and you know what, the laws, every state are on the squatter side, by the way. The people finally left after six days when police showed up and ordered them to get out, which surprises me. Washington State. A camp man. which surprises me. Washington State. A camp man.

Parson, who says she has been homeless herself. Again, if you blew guys, you wouldn't have that situation. You know what I mean? You go, I'll suck your dick. Let me stay in the garage on a cot. Also has an atypical position on the minimum wage. Let's listen to this. While those in the further left part of the Democratic Party often support a $15 minimum wage, Parsons would prefer to double that. Again, who cares what you think? The minimum wage, she says, shouldn't be $7.25.

It shouldn't be $15. It should be $30, she tweeted, adding that this is the bare minimum in every county in the United States. First of all, how do you know that? For an adult with a kid to afford housing, food, health care, basic necessities. food, healthcare, basic necessities. You're a communist. Huh? How'd you like it?

They tell you all the time what to do, what to think, what to feel. Do you want to be like a cheap? Want to be like a cheap? I don't have to listen to this bullshit. Do you want to work eight, ten fucking hours? You own nothing? You got nothing? You listen to Tony Montana, ten fucking hours? You own nothing? You got nothing? You listen to Tony Montana, lady.

Nothing's changed. She sees, but she believes the government should. It's a nice wet dream. But can I ask you a question, dumb, red-headed pig-face? Do you see millions of people still trying to get into this country? Day after day, year after year? Why is it, if you think our system is so bad? Because they're coming from, a lot of them are coming from the systems that you're advocating.

Do you ever ask yourself that and then take a runny dump? Okay. Didn't take a runny dump. Okay. Parson previously ran for Congress in 2020, and she lost in the primary, which tells you what? Even in the fucking Northwest,

they're like, this bitch is out there. I give her credit for rebel rousing. I always like a rebel rouse. Like Al Davis, the owner of the Raiders in the 70s. The fucking league hated him. He was fighting with the commissioners, suing the NFL all the time. He was a little bit of a gangster out of Brooklyn and a smart one. And they used to play dirty and cheat. Why do I love shit like that?

Well, because you're half Italian. All right. My father loved the Raiders. I'd go, Dan, why do you like them so much? Because everybody else hates them. But they would back it up back then. Boy, I got the chills. I just had a chill run through me, and I almost pooped my pants.

Let's move on. Oh, the bearded lady. What could this be about? Not the zoo, not the carnival. Trans preschool teacher says he, keyword he, gets his gender identity validation from his three-year-old students. Isn't that good news, huh? Isn't that good news?

This is the teacher, teaches three-year-old students, and why you would drop your kid off as a parent and the bearded lady comes up and you go, okay, Billy, we'll pick you up at 2. I wouldn't let this piece of shit near my fucking kids. I wouldn't let my kids join the Cub Scout. I don't trust people over 30 who want to work with kids. Nick, that's a horrible, that's a typical, I feel bad for you, man. You're just living in fear.

Yeah, yeah, I am. Suck it. No, Nick, come on. Oh, I had a great joke on stage. Just a one-liner, but I was talking about guys and girls. I said, guys like certain, you know, every guy has a certain type of girl. Oh, I'm a tit man. I'm an ass man. I'm a leg man. I said, I'm a face man. You have to have a beautiful face because if I'm going to see it every time I open

my freezer door, I got a bunch of new ones I got to get home and... Anyhow, let's take a listen to this. I'll repeat it again. This piece of whatever it is, and again, I don't mean to be too mean. I'd say it all the time, because I wouldn't wish this shit on anybody, but I keep harking back to the 50s when the left was calling the far right homophobic

and when the right, religious right, would say, they'll come for your kids eventually. Isn't it kind of coming to that prediction a little bit? It's just, anyways, can you imagine leaving your three-year-old? Go ahead. So today was full of little happy gender euphoria moments. I got called Mr. Micah a lot today. Well, completely femme. And that was really heartwarming that the kids just got it.

But my favorite reaction, and it sums me up so well, I feel like, is I was in a new classroom and I took off my mask to blow my nose. And I just hear a kid loudly whisper please give me oh she's a boy i was like yeah you got it kid you totally got it my vagina's angry it is it's pissed off the kid said oh it's a boy. And he goes, you got it, kid. Well, I disagree. I don't know any boys that wear a fucking dress.

Boy, George. The haircut. I don't know. Isn't it creepy when she started to talk and it is a she. But yeah, let her be alone with your kids. You parents out there, I know you're angry. You ain't getting angry enough. Anyhow, Nick, you're intolerant. You're goddamn right. Because you know who's intolerant now? The left has been forever. Guy my age, White, they're trying to get me out of the way forever.

They're intolerant. And Biden's bringing down the whole brigada, as they say. Is this the final story? Two more. Two more. I better pick up the pace. Not so United Airlines. Boy, the airline, let me tell you about airports and airlines. They've given us some of the best entertainment

for the wrong reasons for the last couple of decades. Shocking video captured the moment a former NFL player, right away, whoever's fighting them is in trouble. That's all I'm going to say. You can say a lot of things about the NFL, but whoever plays in it, they've been in a few scrapes and they know how to, you know, you don't play if you're a pussy. You're basically going to be a criminal and skillful. Anyways, shocking video captured the moment a former NFL player, again, remember the video doesn't start until the shit's already in action.

All right? So I'm going to tell you right now, and because I read it in the, I didn't put it in the teleprompter, I'm further down. It said, a witness said he saw the football player, former NFL guy start the shit, which I don't doubt. Anyways, the clip shows the former NFL player squaring off with a United Airlines employee in a violent scuffle at Newark Airport last week. The footage, which starts mid-brawl, it always does. That's why it always does. And that's why it looks so one-sided. It always looks like the black guy's being oppressed somehow or treated unfairly. Not that they start every brawl, but the footage which starts mid-brawl shows the airline employees shove a passenger identified by TMZ as ex-Denver Broncos quarterback

Brendan Langley. And you can tell the guy from the airlines, I mean, he's Newark. This is in Newark. And you can tell he might have even boxed or whatever. I mean, he was ducking. This is in Newark, and you can tell he might even box go at him. I mean, he was ducking like that. He was trying to. But I think he thought he was back in his heyday when he was a young kid.

I mean, what I'm trying to say is normally, right, those are usually the people that work the airlines are little pussies, right? They're not going to stand up to a guy. But watch what takes place here. It's pretty fucking interesting. Look, he's still coming. Watch this. Watch this. Watch this.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Good night. Oh! You got knocked the fuck out, man! Hey, was that low? Shit. You got knocked the fuck out, man.

All right. He did. The white guy did. No, that's all right. Can we watch it again? Yeah, sure. Here we go. Watch it.. There's something wrong with the black man's mind!

There's something wrong with his mind! There's something wrong with the other guy's mind! Just stand up like that. I mean, that was just so fucking unusual to see anybody work at an airline. And you know, fuck it. Well, I'll tell you what he did anyways. God damn it. You got what he, well, I'll tell you what he did anyways. God damn it.

You got knocked the fuck out, man. You want some more? He wants some more, Langley yells at him. What I like, though, is the white guy, whatever he is, probably whatever. Soon as the black guy got a little bit distracted,

he suckered him, which is the usual black guy move. But this guy, obviously this NFL player, you know, he can box. And he threw a nice right cross right on the button. Langley, who is now a receiver for the Calgary Stampeders in Canada, was arrested Thursday and charged with simple assault, according to TMZ. It is unclear from the footage who exactly threw the first punch, but the airline worker has not been arrested, the outlet added.

Another video shared online of the incident appeared to show Langley land the first blow. The bloody skirmish is believed to have began when Langley, listen to this, it always starts with a black guy doing something wrong, whether it's, you know, not getting out of the car for the cops or fucking whatever.

When Langley used a wheelchair, the guy's kind of resourceful, to transport his luggage instead of a luggage cart, which cost $5. So apparently he's not making a lot of bucks playing Canadian football. He couldn't afford a $5 cart. Where'd a $3 cart at? Give me that wheelchair. He used a wheelchair. Langley addressed the incident on Twitter on Thursday,

writing, y'all ain't off the hook. Worst customer experience in the entirety of my life on heaven. What does that mean? On heaven? On heaven. Not even in heaven. Heaven's probably a stripper from Newark. He then claimed in a tweet Monday after TMZ first reported on the story that he was assaulted by the United worker and was defending himself. I don't know about that.

There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. Ain't nothing wrong with his hands. Hey, are we back? Oh, we have a hotline. We actually have somebody called in on the hotline. Tommy, if you're listening, I'm going to do this. But if we don't do it next week, it's going away completely

because you're confusing a lot of people. Voicemail segment. Thanks to all of those of you who subscribe monthly on the Comics Gym and Patreon who continue to call and leave voicemails. I get such a kick out of them. Anyway, this one came in last week, and I want to address it right now. Go ahead. It's my primary. Hi, Nick.

This is Hasneen from Chennai, South India. It's my primary... Hi Nick, this is Husnain from Chennai, South India. I'm a professional pastry chef and a bread baker and I love that you've got a pizza oven. So my question for you today is, what type of pizza dough are you working with? Is it high water content or is it a stiffer dough? And what are your favorite toppings on a pizza? I'd love to hear what you've got to say. Cheers and love from India.

Bye. That was my primary care physician. Hi, Nick. Hi. Hi, Nick. All right. He asked me what kind of dough, and he said high water content or whatever. I don't know if it's considered high water content, but yeah, a cup and a quarter of lukewarm water.

I'll explain exactly how I do it. I put the yeast in, the quick rise yeast, and, you know, put like a teaspoon of sugar to feed the yeast because the yeast is alive. You know that from your wife's infections. And what the? Bobby Slate used to go, my wife has yeast infections. We go to the beach, her pussy turns into a donut joke. Oh, how fucking juvenile. Anyways, I love that joke.

Yeah, I put the yeast and the sugar in, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I put three and a half cups of all-purpose flour into a food processor. I add some olive oil, actually, to the water, and I pour that in as the process is going. It works beautifully. All of a sudden, you get a ball in there. You hardly have to clean your food processor. And then, so I don't know if that's high content or not. As far as toppings, if I'm out getting pizza and the waitress is blonde and good looking, I ask for pubes. No, my favorite, here's my favorite. I think it's a well-kept secret. Everybody's pepperoni pepper.

You ever put bacon? We all love bacon. Breakfast bacon. Not Canadian fucking ham. Bacon. Bacon like breakfast bacon. I like that and like hot cherry peppers. I also like margarita, by the way, which is just fresh basil.

So thank you very much, Ganesh. I don't know what his name is. But I'll see you. You look at my foot infection next week. That was a good question. Enjoyed it. Anyways, again, to access the voicemail line, sign up to be a monthly supporter at thecomicsgym.com or on my Patreon page.

That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. I want to thank you again who came out to South Carolina, Myrtle Beach. I had a great time. I'll be back there. I don't know. They usually do it every 10 months or so. Don't forget to sign up. Comicsgym.com.

Patreon.com. Nickdip.com to click on the tour button to find my dates. Cameo.com, which I did a whole bunch of them. Right after I play live, people want one. Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Just a few zingers. I'm not going to do a five-minute roast. It's like a minute and a half.

And people seem to love it. Go to Cameo.com. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. Good to be back. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time.

Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. guitar solo guitar solo Thanks for watching!