The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Bottoms Out | Nick Di Paolo Show #1346

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

American's Hate Biden. Utah Bans Trans Blockers. Wheel Of Fugitives.   Get an extra story Monday-Thursday by joining Nick on Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow   Get tickets to see Nick, live! www.nickdip.com/tour

🎵 All right, welcome to the show. It's the first of February. I know that because I turned 61 yesterday. And let me tell you something, folks. You know, if I died, nobody would even say anything. I'd be sad. You would be for about a week, and then you'd get married and forget you ever met me. Some comic had a great bit.

God damn it. His last name was Reynolds. He did a one-man show, and one of the big lines was about him dying and nobody giving a shit after doing comedy for 30s it was so brilliant I'm not doing it justice sorry brought it up anyways um yeah so February 1st uh treated myself to pizza last night again I'm fucking burning that oven up it's like fucking Auschwitz over there. Oh, come on. Will you stop with that? Okay.

Dude, I think I made an even better one. This was really thin crust because I made Andy a calzone with bolognese in it. Are you dog-styling me? I've got to stop. I get excited, but I know I have to get on a plane on Friday. Jesus fucking. It's only three shows. I can handle it.

That's what gets me through, knowing it's only one show Friday night. You guys don't understand. That makes a difference. As opposed to when I was in my 20s, late 20s, early 30s, when comedy was booming, I had to go to the punchline in Atlanta. They'd have a 7-9 at midnight. Think about that. Might as well be making sneakers in a factory or iPhones.

Oh my. And you do it. You wouldn't even fucking complain. But I did it about three times. I go, oh. Because that midnight show in the 90s, early in the people were drunk and fucking, ooh. Anyways, I look forward to, I never, never made anybody laugh in Arkansas. Especially the sheriff that pulled me over.

What else? Got to pick up my car today. Remember I backed into my late great buddy Zook's car, fucking crushed the fender, then I tapped the sheriff's car in the same quarter panel, and I had that blowout flat right before I brought it. Get that back with a donut on it. Life's a series, again, I'll say it, of STDs, cold sores and flat tires. Anyways, what else? Did I have anything else to get off my chest before I, let's get right to it. Headline, Americans hate Biden. It's official. It's so obvious that Dems are trying to get him out of there, isn't it? It's frigging... And I keep seeing...

When I say that, I keep seeing Newsom in that shot last week looking over his shoulder. That was no accident. Why would he be back there? Wouldn't they say, hey, get out of the shot? Well, it was his city, I guess. Americans now say that a lack of leadership. Really? It took you two and a half years, Americans? You wonder why we're in this shit storm we're in?

Aye, aye, aye. The lack of leadership from President Biden and the Congress. Well, this has been the case. Look at, what do you mean? He looks like Vince Lombardi there. We're going to run a power sweep up the alley? So, yeah, the leadership of him and the Congress is the country's biggest problem. You don't say. I thought it was the, you know what,

Olive Garden's lunch special. Outpacing inflation, the immigration crisis, and the state of the economy. So they're more bothered by his leadership skills than all those things, which result in those things, according to a poll released by Kevin McGillicuddy, a friend of mine, who does this on the side. So anyways, he's a fucking loser. We knew him from day one. Despite Americans getting socked in the wallet, the government slash poor leadership took over the number one spot from inflation in the poll over the past year, with 21% of Americans naming it as the most important problem facing this country today.

I mean, people are smuggling eggs from Mexico. Do you need to know anything else? Imagine you're smuggling eggs and you get mistaken for a, yeah, whatever, a cartel from, fucking dead because of an omelet. Come on. Who said last year

a Gallup poll said, yeah, was compared to 15% last year in a Gallup poll. So he's toast. They want him to be, isn't he? Inflation and the economy came in last year as the top two issues, tied at 16% each, followed by the government at 15%, so they've taken the lead.

Immigration at 8%. That should be at 99%, in my opinion. And unifying the country, 6%. You even get six. That's six too many? We've never been more polarized. This prick is calling conservatives homegrown terrorists and white supremacists. Over the past year, Americans' concerns with the economy fell six percentage points to 10%.

That's only because they got too much other shit to worry about. Inflation fell one point to 15%. That's how they reported to Biden, so they're supposed to be proud of that, you know. And immigration rose three points to 11%. The percentage of Americans who named unifying the country as one of the problems remain the same. Americans outlook appears to have tracked the cooling rate of inflation again it's the wallet stupid which fell from 7.5 percent last January to 6.5 percent in December according to the most recent numbers. The poll was conducted between January 2nd through the 22nd that's almost 20 days when I do the math.

When the discovery of classified documents, so this shit came down during, at President Biden's Delaware home, and you guys might, there he is. That's how we relieved tension. Nobody kicked at his front door at six in the morning. That's what they would have found, him on the front lawn going, I thought it was Jill. Anyhow, President Biden's documents at his Delaware home and the U.S. House of Reps, prolonged vote on electing Rep Kevin McCarthy. So what? That should be a negative. That was democracy in action. We didn't, like I said before, we didn't just do it with the Democrats. Next one up, I'll stay as a team,

don't even vet them. It's a black midget with one arm, put it in there, checks all the boxes. Anyways, because McCarthy took so long to get elected House Speaker, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? I don't know, you Asian prick, you.

Why aren't more people interrogating, like me? By the way, as far as the documents and a related thing, I'm interviewing Christina Bob tomorrow. She is a lawyer for former President Donald Trump. She was right in the middle of the Mar-a-Lago thing. She's a high-powered, and we got her on the show. So I want to touch on that before she's got a book out, a great book out.

What the hell? God, I think the font's big enough. Stealing your vote. I just started it very, very good. But the poll pointed out that the approval ratings for Biden, 41%, in Congress, 21%, remain basically unchanged over the past year. Republicans believe the governor slash poor leadership is more of a problem, 24%, than Democrats, 18%.

That's actually closer than I thought it would be. That's how bad he is. 18% is actually a lot for Democrats to bad mouth your own president. Republicans pick inflation and the economy, both at 18%. This is typical. This is an article

that had too much information. I'm already confused. You know what I'm saying? Fucking too much information. I could have stopped it after paragraph one. He's a dickhead. He's going. That should have been the paragraph one. He's a dickhead, he's going. That should have been the headline. As the second most pressing problems, followed by the economy, 11%. I've already lost track.

Didn't I already do these numbers? Declines in morality, ethics, and the family, and the federal budget deficit of 5%. Oh my God, there's more. Nick, learn to fucking edit. Democrats go with inflation, 11%. The economy, 9%, then race relations 9%. Unifying the country

8% and the environment 6%. Six and a half. I can't read it. Who cares? I'm sorry. Let's move on to Utah. Sans trans. For you people who don't speak Latin, oh my God, speak Latin or Spanish or French,

sans means without, doesn't it? Because when I order, I go, I'd like the omelet, sans the yellow part. Then a kid from Georgia, what the fuck are you talking about? What, saying what? You call me? You call me?

Governor Spencer Cox, Republican, Utah. There he is. Boy, does he look Utahian. What? Signed legislation Saturday banning, I'll repeat, banning gender-affirming health care. That's a political correct speech for mutilating tits on a perfectly, that sounds perverted. You know mean, cutting off young girls and castrating boys chemically. They call that, once again, the name always gives it away because it's the opposite, gender affirming health care, which is, it's just mutilation and people have caught on to it. There's kids, people coming out now. Is that today's show and the woman we're doing, Chloe, who was a trans? Yeah, we'll do that in a few minutes. Oh, is that the story? I so sigh.

Brutal morning, folks. A pound of pizza, two balls of bread. Gender-affirming health care for mine is making Utah the first state in 2023 to do so. I thought it might have been Florida. Don't matter to me. I transitioned to sixth grade, and let me tell you, to seventh grade, I was lost.

Legislation that impacts our most vulnerable youth requires careful consideration and deliberation. liberation. More and more experts, states, and countries around the world are pausing these permanent and life-altering treatments for new patients until more and better research can help determine the long-term consequence. I think we already know. We always overthink shit. Forget the polls, the fucking research. It's bad. You're cutting the tits off a 14-year-old girl. What a waste. I mean, can somebody tell me where they pile those, by the way? I'm asking Fidelis. Cox tweeted, said, we sincerely hope that we can treat our trans... Is there a big pile of tits? Oh, God. Transgender family with more love and respect.

I don't, is that ear kicking in yet? I'm sweating like, huh? All right. As we work to better understand the science and consequences behind these procedures, Cox added. So he's on it. Yes, sir. Good for you, kid.

Not for nothing. You know what's creepy? I'm looking at these politicians now. Now I'm like 20 years older than them same when i'm watching football used to be the players now i'm the ref's age i used to yell the right he's too old to be on the field now they yell back the guy comes out clicks the thing shut your mouth we're the same age the newly signed legislation, SB 16, will become effective on May 3rd of 2023. It will prospectively prohibit, ah, fresh air, prohibit minors with gender dysphoria

from being subjected to body mutilating surgeries and other medical interventions. The bill will place an indefinite moratorium on their access to puberty. Meanwhile, you got Newsom out in California saying this is a sanctuary for this type of shit. If you want to get something cut off or put on, come on over. I love it. He's going to tank. He's going to go up like Beto O'Rourke eventually.

Anyways, a moratorium on access to puberty blockers and hormone therapy. You know who reported that? NBC, so it must be true. California-based Cole, a biological female, Chloe, I should say. Chloe or Cole? Chloe looks good from a distance. You know what I'm saying? I'd buy her a martini, try to get her back to the Red Roof Inn if I was single. A biological female describes herself as a former trans kid. Sounds like a boy band. Who had puberty blockers at 13,

and she said they blocked about as good as the Jets offensive line. Next thing you know, she had three dicks on her shoulder. And a double mastectomy at 15. A double mastectomy at 15. That just sounds wrong. Cole is now detransitioning. An 18-year-old, I keep saying Cole. It's Chloe Cole. So the first one, they were calling her by her last name. I don't like your name. How about transitioning to that? Get the H out.

She said this in her testimony on Utah's related HB 132. We have a video of her talking to people who are in agreement with her that are trying to stop this shit in Utah. So here it is. My name is Chloe Cole and I'm an 18-year-old detransitioner that was harmed directly by the treatments

that you are seeking to protect children from in Utah today. I cannot thank you enough. You're welcome. I'm here today to tell you about what has essentially been my own personal hell, which most people would refer to as a childhood. Before I get to that, I want to briefly mention a few things I noticed at the SB16 hearing last week.

I feel deeply for the parents who have children who are struggling with gender dysphoria. My parents also made the mistake of trusting medical professionals as well. My mom and dad sought a solution for my distress, just as any parent should, and I blame the ideologues peddling the pseudoscience and not

the parents. However, liking the color pink and playing with Barbies does not make your son a girl, and playing with toy trucks and roughhousing with friends does not make your daughter a boy. Pause. I think that's a great point, because I love Barbies. I used to put them in disgusting positions. You know what I'm saying? My sister would come in the dollhouse, a Barbie doll, and Ken would be on top of her naked on the roof of the house and shit. I had a ball. That didn't make me. Look at me. Do I look like a broad or sound like one? And I know little girls who play with trucks and grew up to get drafted in the NFL. So I don't agree with her

on that. I'm a funny buck. Anyways, back to they. It just makes them unique. It makes them creative. That is true. It does not require corrective action in the form of sterilization and mutilation. Please stop. Really? These parents today go, hey, Billy's playing with a Barbie doll. Let's get him to the doctor tomorrow and chop that off. That's her again, huh?

Yeah. Okay. You know, your son looks like a fag to me. Hey! I've got to tell you, a couple Heinekens, I might go after. If I, like, chase him with a fucking battery acid. Activists in favor of subjecting children to these physiologically and psychologically damaging procedures, some of which involve chemical and or physical castration. Physical castration.

Get the bowl cutters. Express discontent with the decision. Salt Lake City Mayor Erin Mendenhall, seen here, another pretty face with no brains, offered an apology. Oh, wait a minute. Who's she? Yeah, she's for this shit. To Utah's gender dysphoric youth.

This is wrong and it isn't fair. She's talking about the bill they're trying to pass. I'm sorry this is happening to you. You are loved. I stand with you. Do you? You stand with me? Oh my, do you guys, do you really elect people? You don't know their views beforehand? The 42-year-old Democrat tweeted Friday

before she learned she's reading at a second grade level. know their views beforehand? The 42-year-old Democrat tweeted Friday before she learned she's reading at a second grade level. Shannon Minter, legal director of the National Center. See, I assumed when I read the article it was a lesbian, Shannon. National Center for Lesbian Rights. I worked there for about a week. They didn't like that I was arm wrestling everybody and losing.

And says it will face a legal challenge. We are preparing a challenge, meant to told, dork. Adding that the ACLU of Utah. Utah? Jesus Christ. Did you have a vodka and tonic, you asshole? Tap the brakes into Boston there. What's that?

Yeah, tap the brakes into Boston. You need a translator. Of Utah. I know, that's how I usually say it. What are you, retarded? From Utah? In NCLR, we'll file a lawsuit as soon as we can. That's what the...

What kind of guy represents a bunch of carpenters? A big girl. Come on. My vagina's angry. Oh, it is, Shannon. It is. You are. It's pissed off. I don't doubt it, okay. My vagina's angry. Oh, it is, Shannon. It is. You are. It's pissed off.

I don't doubt it, okay? My vagina is furious. Oh, my God. So is your fucking hair follicles. I keep grabbing. I'm like Biden. I keep grabbing for an imaginary coffee. Him trying to get off stage.

Ladies and gentlemen, finally tonight on Three's Company. Wheel of fuck-ups. This was a good one. Good one, Dallas. Dallas found this. I got a nice chuckle when I watched this.

Some people have. I like people who don't take life too seriously, especially when they're law enforcement under attack right now. And that's what makes me most nervous, folks. Right now, nobody wants to be a cop and you can't blame them. And it's done on purpose. Never mind systematic discrimination. It's systematic. You know, you don't have to defund the cops to shrink. Nobody wants to be a cop. You just, they keep laying on onus, onus, onerous. Sorry. I'm sharpening up for the next guest.

Onerous laws. You know, if a cop looks somebody wrong, they're in a lawsuit. They can't use a chokehold. You can't kneel on a guy's back. What the fuck are we supposed to do? You know? So nobody's signing up. And, like, major cities have a shortage.

And that's the whole idea, right? Chaos. From the far left to whoever's running the planet. A man has filed a defamation lawsuit against a Florida sheriff. Guy wants a lawsuit. Counselor. No. Counselor. Who posts weekly, excuse me, weekly, get this,

wheel ofugitive. Wheel of Fugitive videos on social media saying that he wasn't, the guy who's suing says he wasn't a fugitive when his name and image appeared several times in 2021 in the sheriff's post inspired by the long-running tv game show will of fortune this is a guy in brevard county as he says i thought it was brevard but he says brevard uh county in florida and you gotta like this guy look you know he's been doing it forever and is this our culture gotta Got to make it entertaining. I remember my late great buddy, Zook, who was a cop in Miami and then a detective for 30-something years. They used to put pictures up in Dade County

of the most wanted 10 guys, and they had to stop doing it because it was all black and Hispanic. So they stopped doing it because of that. You know, something that's responsible will help you being safe. Get rid of it. We're just cutting on our own throats.

But here's the Pat Sajak of law enforcement. We are the fugitives! Hello everyone, I'm Sheriff Wayne Ivey of the Brevard County Sheriff's Office and welcome to We Are the Fugitives. You know how it works. All ten people up here have warrants for their arrest. We want to get them off the streets and safely behind bars where they can't victimize anybody else. Let's see who our fugitive of the Week is here in Brevard County. Oh, Michael Christmas. All right, folks. Rebecca C. Heaselwood is our Fugitive of the Week.

Heaselwood. Look at her. A fucking Johnny Depp transitioning. Look at that beauty. You know what would have been funny? They should have had like a they should have had a Vanna White character. A guy transition in one tit right in the middle of it, you know? He's got one leg shaved. Oh, that would have been beautiful. Look at her. I can't believe we haven't talked about her in FLA. Oh, my God. And what's funny is, you know these guys, these criminals are sitting home

watching this. Imagine you see a face go by. Because that's what this guy's suing for. It stopped on Rebecca Heaselwood, the person before was a black guy named Michael Christmas Jr. Do they make up their names? I do too.

I've yet to meet a Christmas I like. It's more about my relatives. Because of the Sheriff's Post, David Gaye, can you make this shit up? Lost a, that's David Gaye? Dan Whitney created Larry the Cable Guy from this guy. Look at this. Can you imagine having that redneck look and your last name's Gaye? This poor prick took a beating in school. Lost a job. Oh, this is the guy that's suing. He lost a job. He would have been the only white guy on the wheel. Lost a job and suffered emotional distress. You couldn't hurt

this guy emotionally if you shot his dog and took away his pickup truck. According to the lawsuit seeking more than $50,000 in damages. The lawsuit was filed last week in state court in Brevard, Brevard County along Florida's Space Coast. Wow. Gay's prospective boss called him, listen to this, as he was driving to his first day of work and told him not to bother showing up as he had seen Brevard County Sheriff's Wayne Ivey's Wheel of Fugitive videos. The lawsuit says. Oh, the poor bastard. You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired. You're fired. Fire? It ain't even started yet. The hell are you talking about? A spokesman for the sheriff's office on Monday didn't respond to an emailed inquiry seeking comment about the lawsuit, but Ivey has told the Associated Press that everybody watches it. He's beating Colbert and Fallon combined in the ratings, is what we were told. I would watch this every goddamn week, a night, he does you got this is a guy

that's like been defeated mentally because I gotta have fun with it I'm gonna get shot at you know even the fugitives watch it yeah on stolen TVs to see who becomes the fugitive of the week oh my god I'm laughing at him with a missing tooth. However, while Gay was in jail for the violation of probation arrests, Ivy said in a Wheel of Fugitive video that Gay was a fugitive when in reality he was already in the Brevard County Jail. So busy, can't keep track. That was according to the lawsuit.

So the sheriff made a bit of a mistake there. That's what you hear. Hey, wait a minute. You hear that on Wheel of Fortune. You hit bankrupt. Spin the wheel again. I want to know. Gay was featured in three more episodes of Wheel of Fugitive,

including on the day after he was sentenced to probation under the same terms that previously had been imposed and was released from custody, the lawsuit said. So the sheriff, you got a good attitude, pal. I mean, you know, it's amazing, though, you talk about crime in the state of Florida, how Miami is at like record lows. That's a major city.

We're not supposed to take anything from that. And it was one of the worst cities for the longest time. Absolutely. They've always been good, though, even during the riots. You know, again, to bring up my late great buddy who was a cop down there in the 80s when Cuba sent about 200,000 prisoners on a boat, remember? That's where the movie Scarface came from. He saw all that shit. That's why they didn't

play during the unrest during after Michael Floyd and shit. Remember Miami was dead quiet because they bust heads down there. And that's why DeSantis, I think, has a good shot. So anyways, that is it

for a Wednesday. I've got to do thank yous though. I haven't thanked it for a Wednesday. I got to do thank yous, though. I haven't thanked people for a while. Let them build up. You guys, again, you keep the show afloat by your contributions. I want to thank all the new patrons that just signed up at Patreon to support the show. The show is free for anyone to watch there, but when you join one of our subscription tiers, you get exclusive extra daily content, access to 300 plus archive

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