The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Caught On Tape | Nick Di Paolo Show #1415

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Biden caught on tape, DOJ interference, shark bait, a survival story and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. It's freedom, baby, yeah. Yeah, baby. Welcome to the show the show how you is what it was and all that kind of good stuff hey you know that uh trans thing we talked about at the white house what was her name rose montoya um showed her boobs bo boobies. Anybody say that anymore? We talked about that earlier in the week, the other day. Well, now the White House comes out today and goes,

she's never going to be invited back. He or it, whatever the fuck. Do you see how they, do you see how they, this is all politics and politicians and presidential administration, whatever. They have something like that. Well, usually it's the left because they're the ones who push the envelope of the radical stuff. And obviously, people weren't pleased with that. Not just, you know, conservative people.

A little bit of disrespect to the flag and to veterans and everything else. Biden doesn't know because he's just a puppet at this point. You put Alpo in front of him and tell him to eat it, he's going to fuck it. He doesn't know. He's retarded. But it's the scumbags that surround him that pull this shit off. They're using him. I can see AOC, you know, rubbing their nipples watching this, just fucking loving it.

I'll rub them for you. fucking loving it um i'll rub them for you uh anyways so they come out today the next day and go that that was that was uh breaking protocol she'll never be invited back to the like she was ever going to be invited back again maybe on another if they you know another pride whatever day may i whatever but the point is they looked at the backlash, is what they did, with an election coming up, right? With Trump leading in the polls over Biden and coming on the wake of the Bud Light tragedies, all that crap. So they go, you know what?

Here's a good time to back off on this because we're never going to have her back anyways. But we'll pose ourselves as upset and concerned. Since when does the left limit that, bothered by that type of behavior? It's all optics, folks. They went, this is where we can get those people that are on the, you know what I mean? Let's look like we're bothered by it. We'll get those 10 conservatives that might come our way. Everything is so contrived. I don't know how do people go into this shit for a living. It's beyond me. But, yeah.

So, ooh, we're not going to see her anymore? It? Whatever. I hate to admit, but the boobs are fine. I'm not a big fan of the, you know, whatever. Anyways, I was looking at something for myself. Put them on my back. Just.

Anyhow. All right, let's get on with it. Let's get on with the continued witch hunt and the marcher on to a third rope banana republic under Joe Biden and the jerk offs that handle him. Caught on tape is the headline. Who was caught on tape, Nick? Republican Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa said that a Ukrainian energy company executive,

listen to this. I love Grassley. Always looks like he hasn't taken a good dump in a month. He makes Bernie look happy. Anyways, Ukrainian energy executive involved in the alleged Biden bribery scheme. Listen to this, had secret audio recordings of Hunter Biden and Joe Biden. I bet you they've known this forever. I swear to God.

Let me, let me, did I give this theory yesterday? I don't care. I'm going to keep saying it. My prediction is that I don't think the Democrats want Biden. I might've said this already. I don't care. I'm saying it again as the nominee. Right. So they're going to let him hang. They're going to they're going to leave him to hang out in the wind. Right. They're going to let Grassley and everybody come

after him and go, you got to step down. And that way they can go. It wasn't political with Trump. You see, we went after our guy, too. You can't say, I mean, I think that's how they're going to play it. Probably be wrong. If I was right, I should be on TV and rich. Grassley, who is the ranking member of the Senate Judiciary Committee, how many times have we read that title and nothing gets done, said Monday that the Burisma executive had a total of 17 secret recordings. Did anybody learn anything from President Nixon

about the Jews? And two of them are with Joe Biden out of the 17. Two with Biden, who was vice president under Barack Obama at the time. Jacka. Look at him there. That's the best picture ever.

For now, can we use that every time? What are we doing? What's going on right now? That is. They should bury him like that. The other 15 recordings were conversations with Hunter Biden, which we know. Much more. Probably about energy and pussy.

Grassley made the claims in a speech on the floor of the Senate. Where else is he going to do it? In the bathroom at the Arby's? He also said that the Burisma executive made the recordings as a kind of insurance policy. Yeah, this guy knows how to play the game. As an insurance policy. Sort of like Bud Black in, you know what, Wall Street. In case the official got into a tight spot.

Oh, boy, did he ever. Special Counsel Jack Smith-Jerkoff, right there, who looks like a healthy hunter, has used a recording against former President Trump, he added. That's what Grassley said. Well, what is U.S. Attorney Weiss doing with respect to these alleged Joe and Hunter Biden recordings that are apparently relevant to the high-stakes bribery scheme? That's what Chuck is asking. It's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer. Okay, Jack. Do you believe this shit? Do you believe it? Now, I believe that that's coming to light, again, because of my theory, right?

It's like too good. I want to, I swear to God, it doesn't feel like somebody wrote a novel when all this shit plays out. Even Trump's role, your role, me report. It's just that everybody has a, as Shakespeare said, I love television. Anyways, I hate reading. Anyways, let's move on. I can't even kind of relate.

I don't know. Federal Bureau of Injustice. Now, what can that mean, ladies and gentlemen? CNN legal analyst, Ellie Honig, called out the, I'll repeat that, CNN. CNN, folks. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. Called out the Justice Department. By the way, he seems very gay, too.

Not that it matters. I'm just saying it's typical of CNN. On Monday, he called out the Justice Department. Get this slow walking investigation into Hunter Biden's investigation. I'm just saying it's typical of CNN. On Monday, he called out the Justice Department to get the slow-walking investigation into Hunter Biden's investigation. So that's why, again, it backs up my theory. When CNN's talking about it, they got the memo from the White House

like they always do, behind Joe's back, or whatever. Federal authorities have been investigating Hunter Biden since 2018 for alleged tax crimes related to his overseas business dealings and for allegedly lying about his drug use on the federal form required when purchasing a firearm. Remember, he threw it in a dumpster somewhere. the Washington Post reported last October 8th, that was eight months ago, that investigators, eight months ago, believe that they have enough evidence to charge Hunter, okay? Here's the guy on CNN, our boy Ellie, Eli, Sharon. Again, this is CNN. You'd think it would come right out of the Fox headlines, but listen to this. OJ, this is preposterous. This is pending, according to our reporting at CNN, since 2018.

Five years. And this, by the way, this investigation is not the laptop. This investigation is a tax issue. Did Hunter Biden declare his income? And a sort of obscure gun law. Did he possess a gun while he was addicted to drugs, which you're not allowed to do under federal law? Did he lie about that? But five years. I mean, that's a five week investigation. And this spans the Trump administration and the Biden administration. Someone's got to make a call on this case. I don't know what is going on, but it's beyond anything I've seen before.

It's on CNN. Look at all his colleagues going, did you really just say that? Well, it said right here in the memo from, you know, the black raggedy and all. Let me do my impression of what's her name? Karen Jompia. As the president said many times, it's top of mind. Keep an eye on my eyes. That's what she mind look look keep an eye on my eyes that's what she does to look intelligent um as you know the president stated many times um

oh p you uh the comments come as multiple irs whistleblowers alleged justice department has interfered into the Hunter Biden criminal investigation. Gary Shapley, an IRS criminal supervisory special agent, told CBS News last month, the investigation has been slow walked at the direction of the Department of Justice. He claimed there were deviations from the normal investigative process throughout the investigation. Think about that compared to what they're doing to Trump. throughout the investigation. Think about that compared to what they're doing to Trump. Which he said each and every time benefited the subject of the investigation,

meaning Hunter Biden. They've been slow walking this forever. Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go. Meanwhile, NBC News reported in April there's growing frustration with the FBI be within the FBI because investigators finished the bulk of their probe more than a year ago but prosecute yeah but I haven't heard him complaining out loud that much so they shut it down but prosecutors

have uh uh stalled charging Biden the report said four charges are on the table, three related to tax crimes and the gun charge. Okay? There you go. What a filthy, talk about a scandal-ridden administration. Has there ever been a more crooked, ugh, and that's saying a lot. In the second half of the show, by the way, kids, I'll be talking about your banks ratting you out. I'll tell you how. It's going to make you furious.

It's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com. Should you, would you? Yes, you will. Why are people still making recordings after Nixon? And why did he do it? And I bet you people before him did it. Bill Clinton had his thing in a sock drawer we talked about. What are you doing? They're probably tapping you anyways, you know? When did the FBI get so filthy? Wow. And I'm sorry, it's just a few people at the top.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, sorry. You know who I'd keep? The only people that came out as whistleblowers. I'll go, okay, you guys can stay. The rest of yous, rest of yous, get out of here. You got a clean house. You got a douche. Let's lighten it up a little bit. let's lighten it up with a, it's just a clip that I found disturbing.

This is what, I go to do research on this show, folks. You know, read articles. I shouldn't say research. This isn't the Woonhan Lab. But what happened, you know how you go down

that rabbit hole of videos? Some shit, it's like, I can't, I don't even know how old it is. I don't know if it happened yesterday, 10 years ago. I got to show this. You'll let me know

whether you saw. But anyway, I found this clip of a shark attack. I think it was over in Russia. I mean, you know how they always say warning,

distressing content. They always do that over here. And then you click on, don't give it away. Then you click on whatever and they pixelate the guy getting shot or they go right up to the, no, not this one.

This is a guy literally being eaten alive by a goddamn shark. And people witnessing it, you can actually see the fucking blood in the water real right at the beginning I have no problem with these things I just I'm so desensitized Spielberg did such a good job that I thought it's just a dummy but but what what a way go. Think about all the ways you can go. This is the way Joe should go. They should use him as chum. All right, let's take a look. Oh my God. Look, there's blood right there. Oh my God. There's blood. Now watch this. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Crunch. Right around his neck. Oh my God. What is this? What is this? No time for riddles. Look at that.

Pulls him undergone. Bon appetit. Oh no. Delicious. No. Thank you. Anyways. Do we have a picture of the guy?

Yes. We do. We got a picture of the poor bastard. Oh, young kid, huh? And there they found, I didn't tell you, and there's a little story, a blurb. They found his pieces of him in the shower. You know, like the Kittner kid.

I'm not going to do a half-ass autopsy right here and have that kid spill out over the dock. Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. My tribute to the poor guy. Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain. For we've received orders for the sail back

to Boston. And so nevermore shall we see you again. Delicious. Thank you. Hey, is that a still picture of him? Yeah.

Being pulled under? Yeah. Wow, I didn't even see that. I thought that was antlers on a moose getting out of the water. Look at that. What a way to go. Now, the poor shark's just doing his thing. You know?

Honest to God. But fuck him. This kid was minding his business. I don't know. But holy frickin' moly. I had to show you that. It's like porn to me. Anyways, let's move on to somebody,

a better, happier story, at least an ending. Survivor, this is the show Survivor, kind of Colombian edition. Columbia. Four young siblings from an indigenous group, that's maybe where they have the instincts, in South America are true survivors. They first survived the plane crash

that killed all the adults on board. Think about that. And then they survived 40 days alone in some of the most inhospitable jungle area in all of Colombia. And that's saying something. Until rescue teams finally located them. 40 days?

Is that what it said? God. Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Hola. Miracle, miracle, miracle.

Whip. Chirped a voice on an Army radio about 4 p.m. on Friday afternoon. At that point, the hundreds and hundreds of volunteers who had been searching for weeks for the form. Wow, they kept it up for weeks. Over here, they give you about three days. Fuck them. For weeks. Hello?

Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Here's the story. They do a better job about telling it. Go ahead. Let them tell it. Called Operation Hope, authorities say the three girls and one boy survived the May 1st Cessna crash that killed their mother and both pilots. During the week's long search, soldiers say they found a baby bottle,

diaper, and a child's tiny footprint. Promising signs the children were still out there. It's not known exactly how they were able to stay alive, but the indigenous children had some survival skills. Colombia's President Gustavo Petro saying the siblings are an example of survival that will go down in history. Wow. One of them, it said an 11th month old baby.

How the fuck is that possible for kids to, 8, 9 year old kids even know? You see your parents dead? Wouldn't you instinctually just stay there? Whatever. They wandered through and they said this poisonous snakes, this jungle's known for venomous snakes and wild cats, as in like panthers.

Shit. What the hell? Now that's something. Hey, Biden, see that's inspiring. That's courageous. Not some tranny whipping his tits out on the front lawn. That's what he said. They're courageous.

That's some of the most inspiring. What? The unfortunate saga began on May 1st when the four kids mistakenly booked Frontier Airlines. 1st when the four kids mistakenly booked Frontier Airlines. When the four kids, ages 13, 9, and 4, in 11 months. Do you understand

the baby's not even going to remember this? Not even going to remember it. It's amazing to me. First of all, that the baby survived. And their mother hopped aboard a Cessna. She didn't make it, 206, a single-engine plane heading from the Amazonian village of Aracura, where me and Dallas have a duplex, to San Jose del Cuavriera, a city hundreds of miles away.

Sometime during the flight, authorities received reports of engine failure. That's why I'm scared of those little planes, you know. Houston, we have a problem. The engine failure must have been catastrophic. Well, thanks, detective, for putting that together. As the plane crashed, taking a nosedive into the earthen floor of a sparsely populated jungle. When rescue... Does people live in there?

Sure. What do they mean, fucking... A couple of pigeons in a... When rescue teams located the plane approximately two feet from a Starbucks, they were surprised that... No. Two weeks later, they find the plane. They found the remains of the pilot,

the children's mother, and one other adult. That would be enough to scare kids to death, I would think. However, the children were nowhere to be found. Rescue helicopters secured an area encompassing about 125 square miles, and regularly broadcasted a message from the children's grandmother asking them to wipe their feet before they come in the house. No, asking them to stay put.

And I went something like, I'll talk about it, talk about it. They also dropped off food packages, an unhappy meal, and Nick, I'm just trying to bring a little levity of attention, and rescue teams were encouraged, even after weeks of unsuccessful searches, which you got to give them credit here, when they discovered the fruit rinds, the fruit rinds with a child's teeth marks still in the rinds, as well as some discarded diapers.

So now they're going, we think it's a vegetarian in his late 90s. No. Unfreaking real to me. Isn't it? They were indigenous. They're saying, whatever. Yeah were indigenous. They're the same, whatever. Yeah, whatever.

I give the nine, and the other one was a 13-year-old. Yeah, big props. I don't think there's any American kids who can survive that. I don't know. Maybe. Anyways, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdopaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more. And while you're at nickdip.com,

why don't you click on the tour button and you'll see dates like that. You can come see me live. Oh, it's tremendous. It's tremendous. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.