The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Continues to Crater | Nick Di Paolo Show #1237

Episode Date: July 11, 2022

Biden hits new low. Biden older than dirt. Steak thefts NYC. Tampon drama in Oregon. Tribute to Tony Sirico. 

🎵 Hey! Nick Day! Hi, folks. How you is? Welcome to the show, Filthy Monday. Once again, always fucking Monday, Monday, Monday. Anyhow, they say life goes by fast, but I was thinking on the way here, I'm thinking back to like, you know, when I was in first and second grade. That seems like 10 lifetimes ago. And I feel like I should be 90 and not grade. That seems like 10 lifetimes ago. And I feel like I should be 90 and not 60.

But other times, I can't believe the football season's right around the fucking corner and I'll be dead soon. Last show, folks. I don't feel good. Do you notice I don't cough as much anymore? A couple of guys quit the show. They don't like to cough and suck a dick and die, you motherless fucks. Anyways, I blame it on COVID, not the goddamn cigarettes, which I have one in the morning. There it is. And it helps me poop. I put it right on my asshole. No, and then maybe one at night.

And some days I don't even do that. If two is enough to kill you, you deserve to be dead. You're a big bitch, okay? Tell it to the Marlboro men. Anyways, where the fuck am I? What am I doing? I have no idea. We'll do it live.

All right. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it, and we'll do it live. Fucking it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fucking thing sucks. Oh, God. Where'd you go, Billy boy?

Billy, Billy, Billy. Real quick, I want to thank you guys for watching. I also want to thank those of you who joined up on Patreon this weekend. The best way to support the show is by subscribing monthly through Patreon or the Comics Gym where you'll get the exclusive

Encore episode each day. Last week's Encore shows were about crocodiles, milfs, and trannies. I mean, come on. You don't get that on CNN. Or do you? What more

can you ask for? Seriously. Subscribe now on Patreon under my channel or at thecomicsgym.com and thank you guys again for making the show possible and letting me make a living in this beautiful town.

Real quickly, it was my wife's birthday last week, and, oh, but nothing, I took her to Abbey's, fucked the shit out of her. No. You know what we did? I took her to some hotel downtown, which is 2.5 miles from my house. It's called the Marshall House. It was a very historic, Sherman turned it into a hospital during the war, I guess. So it's supposed to be haunted and all

that shit. And, of course, I don't believe in any of that. I tell the people right at the front desk, oh, give me, I said, give me the most haunted room in here. Kick the shit out of those fucking rednecks. You know, anyways, we did that. Took a nice horse and buggy ride around town like we were

fucking from, you know, Alaska and had never seen Savannah. And then we drove home the next morning, which is, again, a six-minute, eight-minute ride, which is my idea of a vacation. I said, honey, you just fucked yourself. I'm not going anywhere. That's how I want to do it. Not a six-hour ride home or a five-hour flight. We're never going to see France. Go fucked yourself. I'm not going anywhere. That's how I want to do it. Not a six-hour ride home or a five-hour flight.

We're never going to see France. Go fuck yourself. Excuse me. So maybe I might take her to Athens on her birthday next year. Athens, Georgia. Georgia, not Greece. Christ, no.

Anyways, excuse me. And again, that's just chink COVID stuff. Let's move on, shall we? That was it. What else over the weekend? Oh, Red So just chink COVID stuff. Let's move on, shall we? That was it. What else over the weekend? Oh, Red Sox-Yankees. Real quick.

Fucking Red Sox kicked the Yankees in the ass on the way out of Boston, just to remind them the last two games that we ain't going nowhere. We had no Devis for this series, except the first game where he hit two bombs off Garrett Cole. Is that Merrick Cole? Garrett Cole? Whatever the fuck his name is. Hall of Famer, probably.

And Devis already has six homers. Anyways, and the Yankees are that good, I got to tell you. They got these guys I've never heard of making plays, and they are tremendous. I hate to admit, I kind of like, you know, I like Aaron Judge. And there's some guy, Nesta Cortez, some little Hispanic guy, he could vote her to the All-Star. Nobody expected that in a million years and shit. I don't know, it's different right now.

There's not enough hate between those two teams. That can change with a little chin music. Excuse me. Now I'm coughing that I brought it up. Anyways, they came back twice. And fucking last night, 11-7 or some shit. Good for you. Now we get all our pitches back. I'm sorry I'm doing sports right now, but we're missing three or four starting pitches. We've had no Chris Sale. He's our ace all year. Of all these, he's been out

for the last month. Our lefty now, what's his name? Rich Hill has a problem. A guy named Paxton we got hasn't pitched this year. One of the top guys. And Michael Walker, who's been our best pitcher, has shoulder inflammation for the last couple weeks. So he wasn't there. Devens wasn't there for the last two, and we still won. All right, that's all I got to say. We're coming for you. We're not going to win the division, but let me tell you something. No one's going to want to face us in the playoffs, not with that offense and if our pitching stays healthy. But who knows? They could all get ass cancer. I don't know. Anyways, Biden hits new low, which is how do you do that? Where is he? A foot from China now? President Joe Biden's approval rating dropped into

the 20s, just nipping his IQ for the first time in his presidency, a Saturday civics poll revealed. Just get this, folks. Get this. Get this. I'm sure you got 81 million votes. How dare you? Just 29% of voters approve of Biden, while 58% they disapprove. Only 19% of independents approve of Biden.

That's costly. That's the big one. 67% of independents disapprove? Oh, you're in deep boo-doo-doo. Among Hispanics, Carlos Mencia, George Lopez, and two other guys like him. Just 36% approve. 48% disapprove. Do you understand that puts a chill up the Democrats' asses? That makes them shit their pants. Hispanics have always been, that's what they're counting on. Why do you think they're letting South Central America pour in?

What do you think, those are Swedes? Get out of here. Only 63% of Democrats approve of Biden, down from 88% since last July. Here's the fat lady laughing. It ain't over till the fat lady fucking becomes president. 88%. 88%.

It's dropped five points since June 20th. Just 36% of Democrats want Biden on the 2024 ticket. Who are those 36%? Honestly, God, that just shows you it's about party. It's not about what's good for the country. Our team has to win regardless. Go, you sister, the boxhole. Well, the right's just like that too.

No, they're not. Maybe the far right, but no. Biden's approval rating is historically low. According to Gallup, it's three inches lower than his ball sack when he sits on the toilet in the morning. Good night, everybody. CNN. According to Gallup, five presidents have sunken into the 20s.

Those presidents include Harry Truman. Wow, we're going back. 22%. Richard Nixon, 24 percent. Jimmy Carter, 28 percent. George H.W. Bush, you surprised me, 29 percent. George W. Bush, 25 percent. Biden's approval rating began to drop in August when he led the deadly Afghanistan withdrawal

that left hundreds, if not thousands of American citizens stranded behind enemy lines. We know that to be true. That was Ron Klain, his manager, yelling. Yeah, so let's just say he's plummeting. I mean, he's going on like, here he is. I made a graph for you. This is how it works. So you can understand. Here comes Jill. Get up, you fucking bull.

Biden's 40-year high inflation and record high gas prices have also been a factor, you think? And the president's diminishing. You know what's even worse? It's not just that. It's that he blames other people and insults the even, he's insulting people who vote Democrat. When he looks and he goes, the economy is strong and it's just fucking

horse shit. That's why, look at he's praying that he dies tonight. The president's diminishing approval. Polling shows the economy has been the most important issue. It always is for voters for 43 straight weeks. In recent months, Biden has also come under fire for his cognitive state. It's kind of ironic, the cognitive state. He never knows what state he's in. Remember, he's in fucking Vamanco. And I'll tell you, I love Idaho.

Look at the mountains and the sheep. A majority of voters believe Biden is unfit to be president. You know, we were saying that during the goddamn debates three years ago. And you were calling us assholes. Why don't you just admit, you idiots on the left. You're fucking retarded. Do what you do best. Paint, smoke pot, play

guitar. 62... What? Nice shirt, prisoner. 62% say he is not fit to be president because he's too old. 59% said he's just fucking retarded. No. They're worried about his mental and physical fitness. Well, you should be, okay? You're a real crumbum. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. Yummy, yummy, yummy. He's just, guys, you can't tell me he got 81 million.

Or you can, but this is how you have to admit it, that Pennsylvania and a bunch of other states changed laws, remember, right before, right before the election because of COVID, you know, to make people able to mail in ballots. Remember, they changed, literally constitutional shit that was supposed to go through their legislature, their state legislature, remember? And they just sort of, it was unconstitutional. And a bunch of other stuff. So if he, even if he got the 81, even cheating, I don't think he did. and they just sort of, it was unconstitutional and a bunch of other stuff. So even if he got the 81, even cheating, I don't think he did.

But the way they talk about it, ooh, the big lie. And again, I'll say it one more time. I don't understand why 2,000 mules, what am I, the only one that saw it that night? Was it a mirage? What the fuck? You don't hear about it? Do you see how they quash guys like that?

Is that a word, quash? I used to have it on Thanksgiving. Listen, I did a pun. He's older than dirt, part two of Job. I'll shit on him some more. Questions about President Biden's age and mental fitness have continued to surface. Amid signs he will run for a second. He can't even run to the bathroom.

This is bullshit. He's not running for a second term. This is all, yep, yep, he knows it. With some staffers, these are his people, pointing out his verbal stumbles and the noticeable hitch in his step, he shuffles like Tim Conway. While aides say, by the way, the New York Times, maybe it's coming up in the article, the Times wrote a piece this week, the New York Times saying he's too old

and all this shit. The New York Times, who again left his scumbags because when he was running for president, they were vouching for him. Oh, he's fine, cognitive, no worse than Trump, but you can go read it. And soon as he gets him. Oh, he's fine, cognitive, no worse than Trump, but you can go read it. And soon as he gets in, now the truth comes up because some things you just can't lie about. Well, I'd say Biden's energy levels are remarkable for a 79-year-old man. Really? Really? I'm trying to think yeah yeah he slurs

79 you know who's 79 or older Fauci Fauci's 80 something now that's remarkable that guy is remarkable he's a fucking psycho but he's remarkable Jerry Stiller when he was on King of Queens for Christ's sake

he had a memorized line he was at least 79 Hunter it's good you probably got one of them hookers in there don't wash your hands before you come to the house I like to get a little snip you hear me son I saw the article coming out tomorrow it was online I think you're clear You hear me, son? I saw the article coming out tomorrow. It was online.

I think you're clear. Yeah. Talk to the Lucchese family. You look good. I got to go. I just filled my diaper with chicken soup. I got to go. What?

Yeah. Hello? Yeah. Remarkable ending for 79. The New York Times reported on Sunday they still worry that he'll, again, the New York Times, they're worried that he'll trip on a wire. Is that a phrase? What does that mean? I just pictured like, I don't know, Jim Jordan and another Republican tying a wire across the, you know, about a foot off the ground in front of the Oval Office. I don't know what they're talking. He'll trip on a wire because of the way he shuffles as he walks. That's racist.

If you said it about a black man. In fear he won't make it to the end of his remarks without a gaffe. Well, wait a minute. That's just a fear now, New York Times? When he was literally, literally in the debates, the primaries, he was making gaffes. Before that, he's the gaffe machine, is he not? Listen to this. This is this weekend.

And you've got to, like you said, you've got to learn to begin with. Go ahead, roll it. It's so funny. It's a quote now from the majority. Women are not without electoral or political power. It is noteworthy that the percentage of women who register to vote and cast a ballot is consistently higher than the percentage of the men who do so. End of quote. Repeat the line. Pause. Pause.

Did you hear he just said repeat the line? That's a direction, talking direction, on the teleprompter. For him, he's not supposed to read that. It says repeat the line. It probably says repeat the line, shithead. He was smart enough to leave that. How about poor, I even feel bad for Horseface, Kamala, and the other jerk off. Watch the guy on the right almost cringe.

They're trying not to laugh. They're like, I can't believe we're standing behind this guy. Go ahead. Women are not without electoral and or political or maybe precise, not and or, or political power. Look at the guy on the right. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck. You know that? Honest to God, Joe Biden,

you're an asshole. You're a bigger asshole than he is. You're supposed to love this guy and protect him. Huh? Turns out she's just a fame whore. Doctor. I'm a doctor.

The president is already a year older than Ronald Reagan. Well, was at the end of a second administration. Biden will be 86 at the conclusion of a second term if he wins re-election, which is silly. He won't, I mean, number one, I don't think he's going to run again. Wouldn't it be fun if he tried to, though? And then, you know what I mean? Like last weekend, he went to what state? Ohio or somewhere where the two politicians who were running in the primaries didn't want to be seen with him.

They blew him off. I forget what state it was, but, oh, boy. who were running in the primaries didn't want to be seen with them. They blew them off. I forget what state it was, but oh boy. The thick-ankled dog face is probably sitting home eating Cheetos. Huh? Getting all excited. The president has said questions about his mental and physical fitness for office are fair game. Well, thanks, Joe.

But some wonder if he can keep up the demanding pace for another six years, even just pointing out that he looks older than when he entered the White House in 2021. Of course he does. That's a fact. Tell me, am I lying? White House aide, if you put a two-year-old baby behind the desk for a year, he'll come out 48 years old. White House aides say they don't carve out accommodations for Biden, but privately they try to protect his weekends away in Delaware. They're like, get him out of here.

Get him out of here. Get him on a train to Delaware. Come on, he likes choo-choo trains. Give him a fucking snow cone. Let him sit in a caboose. Let him drive. But the Times report noted that in public, Biden sometimes loses his train of thought

or struggles to recall a name. Hello? Is this really reporting? Hello? Anybody there? Anybody there? You're supposed to show that beforehand. Did you? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? and still stumbles over his words despite overcoming a stutter from childhood. A group of Republican lawmakers this winter called him by to take a cognitive test. In a letter that cited several examples of what they termed mental decline,

in polls that show Americans were questioning his mental fitness, GOP legislators insisted their request wasn't partisan, and pointed out that former President Donald Trump also had submitted to one to one like voluntarily because they kept calling him stupid and shit enough of this shit i'll take a test what do you got tic-tac-toe pretty good at that uh anyway this makes me laugh because he's so proud and mr president trump you know i love you i want you back in office just because so many people on the left hate you that's why i want and you know i love you uh watch how proud he is of how he passes uh even the doctor's gonna go go ahead uh like a memory question it's uh like you'll go person, woman, man, camera, TV. So they say, could you repeat that?

He gets nervous. So I said, yeah. So it's person, woman, man, camera, TV. Okay, that's very good. You are correct, sir. Okay, that's very good. I think I proved I'm fit to run the planet. I remembered person, TV, dog, cat.

It doesn't matter. Now, they tried it with Joe. They said woman, person, camera, TV. Joe came out, said bowling pin, corn on the cob, and tap shoes. Look. I just laughed out I pictured George that made me nervous because you remember

George W. Bush going fool me once fool me once shame on you fool me twice we don't get fooled again starting to quote yeah he's fucking

all of a sudden he's quoting the who. But that was, why doesn't he take a, I love these double standards. Are you Republicans that fucking useless? You have no power? I know they're in control of the Dems. I guess you can't force a guy to take a cognitive, it should be. You know how driving, at a certain age, you have to take an eye test

before you get your license renewed again? Should be the same thing there. Any guy who's president after like 65, first thing they do, they check you for skid marks. And you know, last time you had a solid meal. But I don't get it. I don't understand why he gets a free pass. Can you imagine him trying to remember that? He couldn't, the poor prick. And Jill's over there giggling. Anyways. Hey, guys, please take a moment.

Click the share button to share today's episode with a friend or coworker if they haven't been shot. Nothing helps this show grow as much as the word of mouth, and I thank all of you who continue to let people know about us. That's the best way to do it. Which reminds me of Louie's movie, Fourth of July, right? He just sent an email out. It's selling out everywhere. It's going to be in 70 different theaters tonight, just for like one night. But all the theaters it's already been in had to add shows, keep it there for the weekend, whatever.

This theater's requesting it now. I can only say you're welcome, Lou. I was terrific. No, I mean, fucking Joe List, my buddy Joe List, my little boy. He's the only closest I've come to having a son. This fucking guy is going to get nominated for a goddamn Oscar if they let him back, Louis back.

You know, he's a bad guy, but apparently not. Sold out in Santa Monica two weekends in a row. Somebody saw Oliver Stone, one of the guys that was in the movie with me, lives out in LA, so he went to the Santa Monica screening and saw Oliver Stone out front. Doesn't know if he saw the movie or not, but that's kind of cool. So he just sent out a list. I just read it to Dallas. I must've named 60 cities and the ones that already have to ask him to keep an extra day and shit. You know what that tells you folks? just they still appreciate funny and up color you know i'm telling you anyways you can't keep good talent down it's a fucking genius most interesting person i ever met between between him and this stripper from fort lauderdale

no this guy had a nice ass he was a very in anti-computer, you know what, whiz. Let's move on to high stakes, spelled S-T-E-A-K-S. Shoplifters are hitting supermarket aisles across New York City with increasingly brazen heists, emboldened by soft-on-crime laws that are forcing grocers to take matters into their own hands, even as they shell out more cash for security, the poor bastards. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.

And what do you think? Who do you think pays for that when they shell out for more security? Who do you think pays for it, folks, when you buy an apple and it's $11? Audacious thieves are showing up with reusable shopping bags it's so cocky they are backpacks even empty suitcases and waltzing out with stacks of london broil steaks which is exactly what i would do love my london broil um it reminded me of a scene in a very funny movie when i was 11 years old let's take a look that's right oh yeah this is going on now that's a nice rose a guy in the back that made me hungry I look at red meat, I get fucking starving.

Hey, Dale, did you ever eat at Vic's? Oh, yeah. My God. I didn't fucking. I don't know how I missed that one. I had a charred octopus. It's like a big tentacle. I ordered two appetizers.

That and the Thai shrimp crawfish beignets. Go for the shrimp and grits next. It's amazing. Oh, my wife did. Andy did. And I ended up eating half of it. And, you know, fucking, I'm like, I'll have two appetizers. But I look like that guy with his meat in his sweater. Anyways, it was so goddamn good.

I'm going to pinch myself. Anyways, armloads of air fresheners they've been stealing, dozens of ice cream pints at a time, some brandished knives or hypodermic needles when confronted. Not the white ones. And a few employees have been injured while attempting to thwart the shoplifters, grocers say. I wouldn't do it.

You're letting it happen. People that are only... We have rampant theft in our stores, said a Stephen Sloan, co-owner of the high-end Morton Williams chain, which has 16 stores, mostly in Manhattan. We hired uniformed police officers with guns,

and we've never had to do this before. Thank you again. Great mayor you got there. Real fucking law and order guy. And Alvin Bragg. Yeah, and Alvin Bragg. Real law and order fucking mayor. That has helped to deter

the thieves, but at a huge cost, the guys. The city's 30s Gristeens and D'Agostino stores have seen a 30% spike in shoplifting year to date compared with the same period last year. According to President Joe Parisi, he blames the increase on the fact that the thieves

are not typically prosecuted, Alvin Bragg, or arrested for stealing less than $1,000 worth of good. Isn't that funny? How you change a law and say anything under $1 a thousand, no biggie, you're not going to get punished. And they start this boy. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore. This guy looks white and I'll tell

you why I don't have a problem with it. See if you can guess. I think he is. I don't know. I'm going to go white just to be fair. And I'm going to say, you know what? It is fair because nobody's stopping black people from overrunning Rite-Aids and shit. Everybody's just standing around watching. Why shouldn't a white fella grab a few steaks? In response, Chris Steeds and the Agostino managers are making Haagen-Dazs pints so they can trace. This is where we are. You got to put traces in your fucking pistachio

so they can trace where they're resold after they're filched. Elsewhere, a grocer in the Bronx told the Post he has instructed his staff to face off with thieves in groups as large as a half dozen. So he has five or six people that work for him. They're not going to do one-on-one shit. You've got to outnumber the thief. Wait until one of your employees gets shot, though, and then you're going to be finished. We avoid one-on-one confrontations, the Bronx grocer told the Post, asking that his stores not be specifically identified. When they see that there are numbers involved, five or six employees, they usually leave us

and rob the Rite Aid down the street. The guy says without any irony. Another example of your lib policies going right in a toilet. Some sophisticated thieves are staking out stores waiting for the moment when a security guard leaves a post. The pilfered merchandise is resold for a fraction of the cost,

sometimes right outside the supermarkets. Go out there and knock them in the head with a shovel to pass it by, or Bodega is happy for the five-finger discount amid record high inflation. The Morton Williams on West 57th Street, Manhattan, has been dogged by a serial steak thief who wears a blue baseball cap. They think it's Aaron Judge. No. Bose headphones and a blue backpack. Wow, that narrows it down. He has swiped hundreds of dollars worth of meat from the store since. That's what I'm saying. If you've got a shoplift, why would you go to Rite Aid and get deodorant? I'm loading up on fucking

pork chops and typically heading to a surveillance blind spot to fill his backpack, a store worker said. Here's the video of the guy at work helping himself. He's a little fatty. Why not? What the hell's he got there? Oh, it's a thing from the market. Now he disappears. Here's Richard Gere. Here comes the guy looking for him in his apron.

It'd be funny if he came back with a bloody cleaver in his head. And there goes the crook, right? Is that the crook leaving? He comes in at least four times that we know of, said the assistant general manager, Ryan G., who has confirmed the heist on the store surveillance tape. I even followed him outside once, watching him disappear into the subway next door with

two men carrying a cooler. Guys, you can't. We're laughing at it, but that's a breakdown of Guys, you can't. We're laughing at it, but that's a breakdown of society. You can't. This is society breaking down. People be killing each other. And they keep predicting a food shortage, by the way, because we, me and

Dallas and some of you guys, I'm sure you've read online how many incidents have shut down food processing plants all across the country. It's weird. Plus, China owns half the farms now in this country. It is creeperini. Let's move on to some bloody who is.

What? Tamping it down? What does that mean? Listen to this one, folks. Trigger warning. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. That was for the last guy, stealing a stick. An Oregon mom is challenging a state law requiring schools to provide free tampons in all bathrooms, including men's.

And I love it. She's challenging it. Finally, a lady. Fucking Oregon. What a shithole. I mean, sure, it's a beautiful state. The politics have ruined it. The Oregon legislature passed the Menstrual Dignity Act.

Let me tell you something. You'll bleed from your crack. There's nothing fucking dignified about it. You're a dirty little thing. I'm kidding. He reminds me of Jay Leno. I told you this. Letterman's like, Jay goes, I'm a big fan of the, oh, you're a big fan of the news, Jay?

Are you a big fan? You sit home, you know, staring at the ankle? He goes, I'm not sitting home like a psycho writing letters, all women are unclean. That one got me good. The Oregon legislature passed the Menstrual Dignity Act, thank God, in August, because I hate it when I'm sitting on a white leather couch at a party and I get up. I get up and it looks like somebody shot a squirrel which required schools to ramp up the supply of tampons for students in state remember there was a tampon shortage we talked about a couple of

month ago of course everybody's using them now I mean schools were first required to provide free tampons in any two bathrooms of their choosing by the end of the 2020 21 22 school year but they will be required to provide the products in all bathrooms who do you fucking regardless of gender by 2023 according to uh o Live. It's just so ridiculous. Mother and Eagle Point School District Board Member. I like it. She's a board member of the school. Charlene Strittenberg petitioned the Oregon Department of Education

to roll back the law, arguing it wastes school funding. Yes, you've got to be a real detective to figure that out. Honest to God. Can you imagine? Excuse me. What are we taking a look at? I don't even know. It says video footage of some boys.

Oh, the boys discussing. This is what's causing all kinds of confusion amongst the young kids. And let's check this out. Oh, bingo. What is it? I have no no idea that's a tampon what's it for girls shove it up their buttholes to stop babies from coming out an eighth grader told me that look at the kid that kid looks like he's gonna be be trouble. I don't know why.

Anyways, the law passed through the state legislature, get this, with near universal support from both Republicans and Democrats. Rhinos. Rhinos? They're not even rhinos. You don't have Republicans in Oregon. Just like New York. Like Bloomberg was a Republican.

Eat my ass. Not tonight. As we know, there's a lot of our youth who don't identify as female or male or are transitioning genders, Oregon State. A lot? It's not a lot, you liar, you frigging... You liar. You frigging... Where are we? Not a lot. That's not true. A lot.

Female or female who are transitioning genders, Oregon State Rep. Ricky Ruiz? Is that who said it? Ruiz. Yeah, Ricky Ruiz. He's probably 20-something, but I can, I don't know,

he looks like he's 40 in the mouth there. Ruiz, a Democrat, said of the bill, we wanted to respect that. He's, wait a minute, when he's 14, this fucking,

he's got a say in this? We wanted to respect that and make sure we provide these resources in all restrooms for folks, you know, all two of them in the nation who have been struggling to transition to a different restroom. No, your brothers. The legislation will cost the state roughly 5.6 mil. Get this out of the 9.3 billion education budget. Money well spent, huh?

Strittenberg's petition argues that the state should strike the requirement to provide tampons specifically in boys' bathrooms, calling it a misuse of funds. Exactly. According to OL, the petition comes amid a wider push for parents against Democrat attempts to impose transgender policies on the U.S. education system, otherwise known indoctrination, folks. Get it? Fucking quit! Yeah, I know. Take it easy. The conservative parent advocacy group Fight for Schools has also accused Joe Biden's administration of holding federal school lunch funds hostage in order to leverage gender identity policies into schools. See how they are? Strong arm everything. What you're seeing here is really

the Biden administration saying, you're going to do what I want or I'm going to take your lunch money away, FF's executive director Ian Ian Pryor, told Fox News, for the federal government to come in and really tie school nutrition and school lunch programs to this radical ideology is terrifying. And it's appalling. Guy's dead on the money is what he is.

Yes, sir! Can you imagine? What a sick time to be alive. Anyways, ladies, people always ask me what I do when I'm not doing the show or touring. The answer is I'm a Milan runway model. It's not too much. I like to lay around, as you know. And that's the way I like it.

That's why I move here to Georgia. People move like they're underwater, and that's my pace. We move slow, and people have their priorities straight. Seriously though, I really like doing these cameos. I don't think I, when I first, I'm like, I don't know if I like to do them, but I really do enjoy creating these personal messages to roast your brother or say happy birthday, your husband or whatever, because they're fans of mine and they want to be zinged. And again, I'm not going to do a five-minute roast, folks, okay? Anyway, Dallas is going to put the link on the screen. Go there, and you can see some of the cameos I've done

and order one yourself, or just go to Cameo and search my name. Finally tonight on Meet the Sugar Daddies, this one made me sad. We had a tough weekend, us gangster film lovers and half Italians. Since I saw you last, we lost Sonny Corleone and Paulie Walmarts. And last week it was goddamn Henry Hill, Ray Liotta. What in God's name? It really...

So Tony Sirico, you guys know. You know Sopranos is just my favorite, favorite thing in the whole world. And more than all of them, even the Godfather, Goodfellas, it just it made me laugh. And this guy was at the center of the laughs most of the time. The lady from CBS will tell you we lost to the great Tony Sirico. The entertainment world has lost an actor best known for his tough guy roles. Brooklyn native Tony Sirico appeared in Goodfellas, Mighty Aphrodite, and Mickey Blue Eyes, but he became best known on The Sopranos, playing the colorful but brutal Tony Sirico.

Sirico died yesterday at an assisted living facility in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. He was 79 years old. Let's take a look and put a little tribute together of some of his finer moments. Oh, this is a real quick, I'll show you this. This is a serious interview he did a long time ago because he's fairly young. He was the real frigging deal. And he talks about when he was younger, what a maniac he was and uh it's hard not to laugh i like how they zoom in on his mouth for this whole interview like but it's interesting go ahead i came by and was talking to him and i freaked out and i'm telling

you i freaked out he's talking about how jealous he was when he had he left his wife and kids for this girl in the neighborhood girl and he was like most italians psycho jealous and um some sailor was talking to his girlfriend probably not even hitting on her and he was getting he goes i go into joe's clam bar to get cigarettes which just made me laugh and he sees the sailor tiny just beat the almost killed the guy yeah i went outside and i just started wailing on him but i mean i gave him a beating i mean i overdid it you know i wasn't in my right head i mean it was a bad bad time in my life that's why i'm telling you about it i'm not ashamed of it yeah i am ashamed of it but uh

this helps me when i was done giving him that beating I threw him over over the rail into the water I threw him and he hit the boat. There was a there was a fishing boat there. He hit the boat and I don't even know till this day what happened to this guy I just took him and I ran got in the cab and disappeared. Was your girlfriend with you? Yeah. Yeah, what'd she say? She was hugging me and kissing me That crazy? I have no explanation for my actions. How do you explain her abandoning you when you got arrested?

I have none for that. And I used to think when I was in prison, how could she have done this to me? I mean, I would have died for it. I would have stood there and you could have put a bullet in my brain. You could have shot me from the toes to my nose. I would have died for her. I would have stood there and you could have put a bullet in my brain. You could have shot me from the toes to my nose. I would have never said peep. The first six months in the can, I had a real bad time.

I was madly in love with her. And she didn't come to see me. She didn't even stand in the back of the court and wave goodbye to me when I went away. And for the first six months in the can, I was... Yeah, you didn't want to know me. I was a dangerous, dangerous kid. And then one morning, I woke up. That's good. It's a real... I mean, you know, you don't want to glorify

these guys, but you got to realize his parents right from Italy, you know, and they brought up fucking, you know, a lot of fucking ding-ding-ding. You know what comes out And they brought up fucking, you know, a lot of fucking dang-dang. And you know what comes out of Brooklyn and shit. You know, Carly Quinn grew up in a lot of these.

Anyways, here's some highlights from him on The Sopranos playing Pauly Walnuts. We're not lost. Stop getting cunty. Fuck it. Let's just go Squirrels will lead them anyway I lost my shoe What's your fucking plan? Eat ketchup packs? We should have stopped at Roy Rogers

And I should have fucked Dale Evans But I didn't Bring some food, alright? Some fucking shoes too. I loved that cocksucker like a brother. And he fucked me in the ass. Well that's the difference between a pussy and the others. Him you loved.

The world don't run out of love. Did you sniff that girl's panties? He told you that? Fucking baby. You gotta apologize. T, I'm not apologizing. You were out of line. He's gonna marry the girl, for Christ's sakes.

As of the wedding day, anything that touches a pussy is off limits. He thinks that's normal. I'm here to tell you one thing. You ever go whining to the big man again about shit between you and me, we'll have a problem, my friend. Look at Christopher's face. Couple more.

I'm sorry. I love this guy. Don't embarrass yourself any further. Just leave. I'm not embarrassed. You're embarrassed? guy. Fuck you! Fuck. Say fuck this Paulie. What? That's how they say nothing. Fuck that. This is how I say nothing. Hey, I remember every ball job I ever got. How about you? Remember your first ball job?

Yeah, of course. How long did it take for the guy to come? You hear that? I said, do you remember your first ball job? He said, yeah. I said, how long did it take for the guy to come? He repeats it like an idiot. I'm making some changes.

Well, thanks for fucking telling me. When was this decided? I did something wrong. We're both dead. My house. Box of Malibus on the counter. Fucking empty. You think I don't know it was you?

I'm kidding you, you fuck. Box of Malamars. It's good. You're getting a bump. Fucking Malamars. I thought you lost your mind. What do you hear? What do you say? License and registration. How about if I give you one of these instead?

I'm wearing a vest. Oh, yeah? If I shoot, it's going in your brajo. You're a real sick Oh, yeah, if I shoot it's going in the bra show You're real sick fuck, you know that Daddy boy How's it family not bad boy, you know, we had to move my father tonight folks home I got my own fucking problems Fuck you in this bullshit. That's what this is, you know Satanic black magic sick shit I'm asking you to leave sir yeah fucking quiz some have a good look with Swiss basics moisturizing formula

God bless Tony Sirico. Mamma mia. Rest in peace. That's it, folks. That one got me. That guy's just so goddamn... And before I go today, as always, I want to thank the contributors to the show. Paul Sagnella, a buddy from Connecticut. Sean Powell of Florida. I want to thank the contributors to the show. Paul Sagnella, a buddy

from Connecticut. Sean Powell of Florida. I want to see some new names. Douglas Elkire, Arizona. New subscribers. The Comics Gym. Kevin O'Neill. J.D.

Rizzo. Patreon. David Henry, who just signed up for a full year at Patreon. We'd love that. Kevin Darcy. Here we go. Vince Jacobo. These are new. Jonathan Plesch.

Tony Petz. That sounds like a right mobster nickname. Tony Petz. Tony Petz, huh? Why they call him that? Because he used to make sausage with his dog. Christopher Cardona. And that's it.

Guys, thank you so much again for contributing to the show financially. Let's grow the show. That pissed me off the first part. Very short list. But new guys, very good. All right? What do you want me to do? Head Ed Sullivan on the goddamn show?

Dig him? Don't forget to sign up at patreon.com, thecomicsgym.com, and go to my website, nickdip.com. Don't forget cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. I got two I got to do today. God, don't let me forget.

They've been sitting there all weekend. I was kind of busy. Anyways, that's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to

I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to guitar solo Outro Music