The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Encourages Americans to Snitch on One Another | Nick Di Paolo Show #557

Episode Date: June 16, 2021

Reverse the Races. Obama/Cooper put CNN ratings in a stupor. Gutfeld gutting the Daily Show.

Hey guys, this show, The Nick DiPaolo Show, is a place you can come to for an hour each day and know that the truth is going to be spoken. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's comedy, oftentimes it's both. Any way that you cut it, though, it's always honest, unfiltered, and free from the bias you'll find pretty much everywhere else, and certainly all day long by mainstream media. Free speech lives here, and it always will. I want to thank you all for supporting the show, and I want to encourage you to contribute on the comicsgym.com page or visit nickdip.com and click on Contribute.

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How are you folks? Let's get right to it because I have to get to the airport right after this. Real quickly, breaking news. Biden and Putin met. No punches thrown. Putin felt the guy was too old to punch, I guess. But remember, Biden's talking all tough. He's a killer and murderer.

Now he's acting like the big puss that he is. Anyways, they shook hands. Putin and Biden spoke briefly to the press at the top of the meeting with the help of an interpreter. Putin said, I know you've been on a long journey and have a lot of work. Still, the U.S. and Russia and U.S. relations have a lot of issues accumulated that require the highest level meeting, and I hope our meeting will be productive. As I said outside, I think it's always better to meet face-to-face, Biden said, noting the importance of finding areas of mutual interest between the two countries. Really? Even

when you think he's a killer? Jerk off. The president also spoke about the U.S. and Russia as two great powers. As reporters from both Russia and U.S. and Russia as two great powers. As reporters from both Russia and U.S. struggled for positioning during the meeting, Biden paused and looked at his notes but did not continue speaking. At one point, the president grinned as the chaos in the press scrum continued. I guess they were fighting for position. One American reporter said she asked Biden if he could trust Putin, and the president looked at her and nodded.

A White House official immediately clarified on social media that Biden was not responding to any particular question. See how they just cover his ass? It was a chaotic scrum with the reporters shouting over each other. The president was very clearly not responding to any one question, but nodding like an old man. An acknowledgment to the press in general, Kate Bendingfield said, the communications director. Biden smiled several times, probably gas, as photographers took photos, but Putin remained solemn. As reporters were asked to leave the room, however, the camera captured Putin laughing,

although it was unclear why. We know why. The president and secretary, Tony Blinken, will sit down with Putin and his foreign minister for the first part of the meeting. The latter part of the meeting will include five people in addition to both world leaders. I wonder if one of them is Joe's wife, Jill. There will be no meals shared between the two parties. Well, how rude. Guess they didn't have insure

on hand in Geneva. After the meeting, Putin will hold a press conference by himself, and Biden will have his press, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, that's that. It should be interesting because, you know, the hacking of the pipeline and other shit that supposedly we proved was Russian work.

At least that's what our media and the Biden, you know, that's their big boogeyman, because it was during Trump's administration. They don't want to look dumb. Anyways, sticking on. Yes, and our Are You you dog styling me segment tonight president biden's administration get this announced their plans to create ways for americans to report radicalized friends and family to the government in an effort uh to domestic terrorism. Can you fucking imagine? This is all just a big ruse and a distraction, reporting your friends. In a conversation with reporters,

one senior administration official explained the importance of stopping politically-fueled violence before it started. Oh, you're going to stop crimes before they actually happen? That sounds savory, doesn't it? We will work to improve public awareness of federal resources to address concerning or threatening behavior before violence occurs, the official said. How Orwellian. The official cited Department of Homeland Security's

if you see something, say something. So they're treating American citizens, Trump voters, the same way we treated people after 9-11 in New York, potential terrorists. If you see something, I saw something. I saw an election stolen last November 3rd by a fucking guy who is not fit to run a lemonade stand. So if you see something, say something, campaign to help stop radical Islamic terror as a domestic possibility.

He's comparing you to, you know, ISIS, Al-Qaeda. Fucking A. What an insult. Yeah. ISIS, Al-Qaeda. Fucking A. What an insult. That's Mike Pence and his family at a picnic. This involves creating contexts in which those who are family members or friends or co-workers, this is the American government, know that there are pathways and avenues

to raise concerns and seek help for those who they have perceived to be radicalizing and potentially radicalizing towards violence. So you know he's not talking on people who voted for him. Just let that sink in. Biden began his presidency with a stark warning in his inauguration speech about the rise in political extremism, white supremacy, domestic terrorism that we must confront and we will defeat on June 1st. Start naming names and name these groups, fuckhead. Either that or shut up. See, because

they don't exist. Biden described the threat from white supremacy as the most lethal threat to the homeland today. Fuck your mother! Yeah, I can see how you get that. Every clip I see of racism is black people knocking white people out, Asian people fucking shooting. At Buckhead, Atlanta, they shot a white guy jogging. But yeah, it's the white people you have to,

how fucking dare you? The Biden administration said it would also work with large, oh, not to mention everybody that burned and looted this summer. No monitor them or having their friends rat on each other. He'd also work with large technology companies that would be big tech, increased information

sharing to help combat radicalization. Hey, yeah, I saw my mother, I know it was a pipe bomb, she was making a pie or a pipe bomb, I don't know, check the bitch out. Any particular tech company often knows its own platform very well, the official noted, but the government sees things actually threats of violence across platforms. They see the relationship between online recruitment, radicalization, and violence in the physical world. Why don't you share that with the rest of the public, what you're talking about? Because you know what? We have a right to know, you lying cocksuckers.

The Department of Homeland Security also plans to deploy digital literacy and digital fitness programs to help combat malicious content online that bad actors deliberately try to disseminate. Can you fucking, this is your government. Shut up, mind your fucking business and shut up. The official reassured reporters that the administration's new strategies would remain laser focused on stopping violent acts. This is a strategy that is agnostic as to political ideology. You just mentioned white

supremacy, fuckstain. How ignorant do you think we are? Agnostic to political ideology. Who said that? Oh, the president. Who the fuck said that? The dink president. Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? The officials said what matters is when individuals take their political or other grievances and turn that unacceptably, unlawfully into violent action. Oh, you mean like Black Lives Matter in Antifa, which is on your side? You fucking... Help me, Matt. Help me help you.

The officials added the Biden administration was taking the threat of domestic terrorism seriously and would redirect the focus of intelligence agencies on internal threats. So instead of looking at the real threats, you know, Chinese spies at Harvard or fucking Middle Eastern people setting up shop in Newark, let's focus on the white family that voted for Trump. We are investing many agencies of the government and resourcing them appropriately and asking our citizens to participate.

Oh, we're going to do their dirty work. Because ultimately, this is really about homeland security being a responsibility of each citizen of our country to help us achieve. Is that what it's really about? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Stick that. Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Oh my God, if there was ever a time to, I am not going to say it. Let's do an update from yesterday, a story you did yesterday about Biden administration

holding political prisoners like Castro, like a Castro-like fucking dictator. He most certainly is. Julie Kelly, remember we did this yesterday? At Julie underscore Kelly too. Now getting reports the

deplorable jail will be on lockdown as punishment for Mark Levin having her on the show the other night. I've heard this from a few sources already this morning, she said. Can you fucking imagine? Son of a whore! That sounds like American, huh? That's unifying, Joe. Your administration's putting people on lockdown that shouldn't be in prison in the first place because a woman went on a conservative popular conservative show excuse me it's making me sick to my stomach okay mom could use a little uh good news today this

was the tweet we just found out they are locking us down for an entire week in retaliation for that special on us last night. You know, she's from that website. No phone calls, no rec time, five minute showers. Treating them like fucking out and out rapists. And she says, where are the lawyers? Exactly. You guys believe what I fucking just said to you these people are have been charged with nothing

they're political prisoners oh and by the way i didn't even pull up this story but i saw it last night on tv about january 6th did you know that the fbi and we know this from documentation, were working hand-in-hand on January 6th, like undercover, actually helping to set up January 6th, you know, like a big entrapment thing. Do you understand your own fucking government? That story's going to blow up. It just came out last night.

They were involved, like we've been saying all along. Why do you think we don't know anything about the cop? We don't know his identity that shot the white woman, unarmed white woman. And we don't know who he is because probably an FBI guy. I can't even make this shit up. Let's move on, shall we, Matt? I'm pissed. There are white niggers.

I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Hey, watch your language, buddy. An ex-top trustee of Manhattan's, this is our reverse the race segment, by the way. I could do it on every segment, but I chose this one. An ex-top trustee of Manhattan's elite Spence School says she yanked her daughter out over her growing disgust with its racial indoctrination capped by a class video that tarred and feathered white women. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

And she's Hispanic, defending white people. Hispanic tech executive Gabriela Barron fired off a scorched earth letter to the prestigious Upper East Side school last week, seething that the video shown to her 8th grade daughter and classmates on graduation day, no less, openly derides, humiliates, and ridicules white women. She said, in quote, derides, humiliates, and ridicules white women. She said, in quote, they sat there in their graduation dresses while the white mothers of the white students, many of whom volunteer, donate, call, email, and do whatever the school asks of them, were tarred and feathered in a video their teachers showed them. While their white female teachers were mocked. Barron raged in the midst of a copy of which was obtained by the Post. Barron said the footage featuring racially charged comedian, I'm a comic, never

heard of this bitch. That's not her, by the way. That's the woman who wrote the letter. Zui Fumido, I can just tell, oh, she looks hilarious, was just another indication of what she and her husband see happening at Spence and many other schools in New York City-o. City-o? In New York City-o, that's Spanish for city. This broad has a show, apparently, supposedly a comedian, just a racist twat on Showtime. And you wonder why you guys don't see me anywhere. This is what they think.

Here's a preview of what her show's about. Hi, I'm Ziwe. I believe in using humor as a tool to shed light on the truth. But there are some issues that are too sensitive to joke about. What bothers you more, slow walkers or racism? That's a real question. too sensitive to joke about. What bothers you more, slow walkers or racism? That's a real question.

Please welcome me. Who do you want to represent less, immigrants or gay people? American Girl dolls? Aren't those for lesbians? The American Girl doll is for normal girls. You need blousa. Blouse for black women.

Sorry, racist. Sorry, sorry. Look at all the white men involved, huh? We could break these ukuleles. Yeah, I'd love that. Aah! Would you consider yourself a good ally? Karen is proud!

I try. How do you try? I, um... You have a book called Pretty Powerful. Why do you think ugly people can't be powerful? I... um... You have a book called Pretty Powerful. Why do you think ugly people can't be powerful? I wanna be like dumb thick. Do you know what dumb thick means?

Um... no. Like Nicki Minaj, she has this line, she goes, BIG FAT ASS! Like that. Are you a racist? A rac- my face is blurred for this, right? How many times have you said the N word? The A or the er

wow there's the white guy the race i love it could we perhaps make it blacker i do not approve of this message uh we have her doing an interview too what folks says about this this family, I do. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hog. Imagine Vanity Fair and Showtime

consider this edgy comedy. A black female, probably gay, I don't know. Um, this is edgy to them. Just think about what they think of me and my comedy. You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Over the last several years, my husband and I have grown increasingly concerned about certain trends at Spence. This is the Hispanic woman's letter, including what we believe is a de-emphasis on academic rigor and single-minded focus on race diversity

and inclusion that is now driving the school and everything that goes on within its walls, wrote Barron, the daughter of Cuban immigrants. Barron, who confirmed to the Post, that's a New York Post, on Tuesday that she sent the letter, is an alum. She actually went there, alum of Spence, which includes actresses Gwyneth Paltrow, Kerry Washington, and Michael Bloomberg's daughter, Georgina, so now you know what it's all about, among its graduates, the K-12 school charges more than $57,400 a year per student to have them indoctrinated into this fucking woke horse shit.

57 large. It's just so ridiculous. Boy, Gwyneth Paltrow went there. It must be a good school. The blatantly racist video shown during her daughter's last middle school history class was of Fomoldo's, that comedian, premiere episode of her Showtime talk series,

Zeewee, which aired last month. And I tried to poop one, but I have a flat screen. It featured a sit-down with Fran Lebowitz, a very nice Jewish fellow. That's actually a woman, by the way, who is a great writer and shit. I used to read when I was in New York, but look. God bless her. She never had a chance. It's fucking Shemp Howard. Anyways, with Fran Lebowitz, woman's rights icon, Gloria Steinem, listen to this garbage lineup.

And four white women named Karen. That's not racist, is it, Tanisha? The caption to introduce Lebowitz, this is what it read under their caption when they introduced Lebowitz. Author, public speaker, white woman. At one point, Fumito remarked to her, it read under their capsule when they introduced Lieberth, author, public speaker, white woman. At one point, Fumito remarked to her, I believe that you are not concerned with how annoying white women can be.

Can you reverse the races on this one? Can you fucking imagine? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Anyways. She's got a show on Showtime. Somebody nobody's ever heard of.

Why would you give a shit? Why would you watch it? Who gives a fuck what you think? The host also said, What percentage of white men do you hate? And, uh, there is a right answer to that, she said. Can you imagine saying that about black people? I do right here on the show. Join me in honesty.

There's a right answer to that, too, because most black people, as I've said a million times, Charles Barkley said it best, most white and black people are decent people. But there's a percentage, it's just kind of a large percentage in the black community that, you know, there's a right number, I don't want to say it. Famuto asked Steinem how many black friends she has.

What a ball buster, huh? That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Then read her obscene lyrics from the rap song WAP by Cardi B and Megan. Oh, I liked her old shit, Cardi B. The Stallion wanted to know whether the activists felt empowered by them. Before the Karens took the stage, Fumito read what she said

was an urban dictionary meaning for their name, which included obnoxious, angry, and entitled, often racist, white women. And the white woman looked back at her and said, I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon. Very deep voice. It must have been Leibowitz. At the end of the segment,

Fumito gave the women temporary tattoos that said, Karen and proud. The Hispanic lady who pulled her kid out, it astounds me that a Spence faculty member felt comfortable showing this to students and thought it was acceptable to do so, Barron said, of the mocking, cringeworthy footage. Had the video, here's where she's so right, we all know this, had the video derided and ridiculed Asian women, black women, or Hispanic women,

the Spence community would declare with one voice that it was blatant racism, which is exactly right. Hey, where are the white women at, said the mom. Executive Vice Presidency of Strategy at the tech software firm KLD discovered, according to her LinkedIn page, that's what she does, Ms. Barron. In fact, had a similar video been shown, she says, making fun of any other racial group, Spence, its faculty, the board of the entire community, would be whipped into a frenzy, Barron said. Is Zwi's video somehow not racist and acceptable to Spence because it attacks white people?

Exactly. on their special day earlier this month was only the final straw for her and her husband at the PC-obsessed all-girls institution, which churns out generation after generation of dumb cunts, which has a task force to make sure it is the anti-racist institution, they have a task force, that it inspires to be. She said that several years ago, students in Spencer's lowest school were required to make politically oriented protest posters. Barron said that when she protested,

she was falsely told by the school officials that this was not the case. In 2019, a Manhattan couple sued the school for allegedly buying into a mean girl scheme in which two students branded their daughters as racist over an innocent Instagram. So fucking why are you sending them there?

Wake up, white people. Oh, my aching stem. I need a break. Hey, guys, I want you to take a few minutes and introduce you to joinhoney.com. What they offer is great. I was on there again earlier this week, grabbed a few travel items before I go to Dallas. And I saved like 20, 22 bucks.

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And just by getting it, you'll also be supporting this show. Get it for free at joinhoney.com slash nickdip. That's joinhoney.com slash nickdip. And we thank them for supporting the show. On with more show. KGB versus BLM. What the hell could this be? Well, aforementioned President Putin says he understands the plight of the African-American, but groups like BLM, and I'm paraphrasing him, have veered into the extremist category, which he finds unacceptable.

Here he is saying that in Russia, sounds much nicer in Russia. It sounds much nicer in Russia. I think that, of course, this movement was used by one of the political forces domestically in the course of election campaigns, even from the USSR days. And in Russia, we have always, always treated with understanding the fight of African Americans for their rights. But no matter how noble the goals that somebody is driven by, if it reaches certain extremes, if it spills over into extremism, acquires elements of extremism, we cannot approve this.

I hope Biden heard that and all the other douchebags that work for him. Here it is in... Then he said this. Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you.

A transcript of the conversation between the pilot and his commander. We intercept Dragonfly transcript of the conversation between BLM leaders and his command that we intercept dragon fly wolf dead colorful names what exactly leads you to believe the soviets were involved uh even putin who is a killer former kgb guy treating afric treating African-Americans with kid gloves. At least that's what he says they do over there. I actually believe it.

That's how deep this horse shit runs. But even he's going, you know what? This guy's a KGB. Fucking BLM, they're a terrorist group. Basically, I'm paraphrasing. He spoke more honestly there about African- Americans than any American politician has done. Let's stay on the African Americans, American ones. Black suspects shooting spree that wounded five was motivated by race, detective says.

What's funny is he came out and said it, right? I'm going to read this article to you and see what's missing. A black man accused in a 20-hour two-state shooting spree that wounded five strangers told cops he was motivated by race and intentionally targeted military-looking white men. He believed wronged him. Police said. This guy is as crazy as they come. We need partners.

We need brothers and we need friends. Justin Tyron Roberts, 39. That guy's 39? Once again with the I hate white people hairdo, was arrested Saturday by police in Columbus, Georgia, where cops say he wounded four people, all white, including two white men, during separate attacks late Friday and Saturday afternoon. Roberts is also accused of shooting a white man in the back at a hotel in Phoenix City, Alabama. That's, wow, a lot of balls, huh, shooting a guy in the back. That's faggot stuff. You want a court by its name, that's strictly for fags.

by its name, that's strictly for fags. Detective Brandon Lockhart testified Monday that Roberts told police following his arrest that he had to have one victim who was shot in the back as he got into a car under the Oglethorpe Bridge in Columbus. Basically, he explained throughout his life

specifically, white males had taken from him. Now, where do you think he got that idea? You think it could be the message that's been drilled into his head for the last 39 years that white people are evil? Fucking Don Lemon, you have fucking blood on your hands

in any other fucking left-wing broadcast. Specifically, white males had taken from him. And also what he described as military-looking white males had taken from him. What did they take, your curling iron? You got nothing. Recalling what Roberts allegedly told investigators.

Here's a sick bastard right there. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. Columbus Police Chief Freddie Blackman said Saturday that all of the victims were expected to recover. Investigators also found no evidence that Roberts knew any of the shooting victims. That would have made it a little understandable, the Ledger Inquiry reported. Roberts also claimed that white men had been shooting at him in a wooded area with a slingshot. That was white supremacy and their dangerous weapons. But police found no evidence to back up that assertion. Roberts, a convicted felon, surprise, was found with a Taurus 9mm pistol that had been stolen Thursday when he was arrested. Just a human piece of garbage.

The alleged shooting spree started one day later at the Courtyard Marriott Hotel in Phoenix City, where a man was hospitalized following the apparently random attack. That's the guy that he shot in the back on Saturday. Roberts fits the description of the gunman in that attack and he's expected to face additional charges in Alabama. Nice guy. Please give me a call. Oh, you're gonna get it. Hours later, two white males and a black female. Oh, he shot a black person. Must have been a misfire. Was shot elsewhere in Columbus. Roberts is charged with multiple counts of aggravated assault and gun charges in connection to being a convicted felon in that case. I don't know what you're smiling at, watermelon.

Roberts appeared in court Monday to face charges in one of the shootings. And his public defender asked the judge to order that he undergo a mental health evaluation claiming that Lockhart's testimony showed the man is having delusions. No, he's not. No, he's not. He's right on the fucking money. Having delusions and a disconnect from reality

from watching CNN. I added. Yeah, he's fucking. You're crazy. I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. The judge agreed, sent Roberts charges of aggravated assault, using a gun to commit a crime,

and being convicted felon with a firearm to Muskegee Superior Court. He's expected to appear for a preliminary hearing in one of the shootings Tuesday. I just read you about a three-minute article about a black guy who admitted he wanted to shoot white people. And what didn't you hear? What did you not hear in that article? Come on, fans. You know the show.

Did you hear hate crime? Did you hear that once? Not a once. It's just an isolated incident. He'd be crazy and shit. He don't mean no harm. Fucking A. shit. He don't mean no harm. Fucking A. You know who helped create this anti-white environment? A lot of people, Tucker Carlson, and I couldn't agree more, calls Obama a racial arsonist,

which I can't think of a better phrase. Anyways, Obama sat down with another gay guy, Can't think of a better phrase. Anyways, Obama sat down with another gay guy, Anderson Cooper, and guess what? Put fucking CNN's ratings into a stupor. Failed former president Barack Obama appeared on CNN last week and pulled in less than half as many viewers

as Tucker Carlson on Fox News. CNN desperately needed a ratings boost from its interview with former President Obama on Monday after the liberal network failed to reach one million viewers for an unprecedented six consecutive days. The 44th commander-in-Chief sat down with CNN anchor Anderson Cooper for an hour-long special, earning 1.4 million views, according to the Nielsen data. Despite booking one of the nation's most popular Democrats, Cooper was still trounced by Tucker Carlson, which earned almost 3 million viewers,

more than double the Obama interview during the 8 o'clock time slot. The Obama interview was widely publicized on behalf of poor Anderson. I suck cock. Cooper. And I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy.

Who has been averaging only around 900,000 nightly viewers, which proves there are only about 900,000 morons left in the world who enjoy being serially lied to. The day after, on Tuesday, Anderson Cooper's total viewers collapsed right back into the basement with just 795,000, or around a quarter of what Tucker Carlson had, which is about 2.86 million. Moreover, Cooper was actually shedding viewers from his lead in the hideous Aaron Burnett, who earned him easily 814,000

viewers. Wow. Jake, the fake news tapper, is in his usual black hole. This guy used to work for Fox, scaring up 684,000 viewers during his second hour, or about a quarter of the Fox's The Five, a show that airs at 5 o'clock, which drew 2.69 million viewers. During his first hour, Tapper somehow lost to Fox's Neil Cavuto. That's a business show with a guy who has the charisma of a doorknob compared to

1.21 million for Cavuto. Oh my god. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Who are we forgetting on CNN? Oh, we're not. Chris, the Fredo Cuomo, couldn't even scare up 800,000 viewers on Tuesday. I'm smart.

I'm like everybody says. Like, don't. I'm smart. And I want the sticks. A mere 798,000 turned in to watch the ethically Crippled Little Brother compared to 2.286 million for Sean Hannity and 2.3 million for MSNBC's Rachel Maddow. I love that guy. The insufferable Don.

You know who I'm talking about. Please give me a call. Lemon, who was soon to depart CNN time slot for obvious reasons, reached only 684,000 viewers post-Fredo, which is about a third of the $2.06 million for Laura Ingraham and the $1.6 million for MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell. People are still listening to that pompous jerk-off. At what point do you go, you know, these guys have been wrong about everything for the last fucking, I don't know, six empirical evidence says so but you keep in a second hour lemon collapsed to just 460 000 viewers i think we get more while fox's greg guttfeld nearly quadrupled With 1.635 a million.

You go, Gutfeld. So all that's taking place at the most trusted name in news. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. I mean in comedy. Let's stay on our buddy Gutfeld, who I know very well. Gutfeld gutting the Daily Show like a dead deer is the headline. This is from at Johnny Dollar on, he tweeted, Trevor Noah, who has stage four cancer of the funny bone, in my opinion. Nice guy, met him, but just hasn't said a funny thing in what,

how long has he had the show? Trevor Noah's Daily Show will take summer hiatus, the network said, intends to unveil a new look and feel. Yeah, how about a fucking white guy who's for the truth and funny? That would really fucking flip things on its head. A new look and feel for the program on September 13th. Here's what they don't want to admit.

Ed Greg Gutfeld shows beating him like a rug. Guy actually said beating him like a rug. There's a million other things. I could say my meat, your meat. Anyways, good luck with that new looking feel. Imagine he's getting crushed. Spanking him like a redheaded stepchild. You're a loser.

You'll always be a loser. Oh boy. Oh, boy. Anyways, like I told you at the top of the show, I have to run to the airport right after this. Just a quick reminder, there will not be a show tomorrow. I'll be in Texas doing Stephen Crowder's show, and then at noontime Texas time, I'll be performing at the Sons of Herman Hall in Dallas

on Friday, June 18th, and this Saturday, the 19th. You can get tickets to these shows at nickdip.com and then click on the tour button. That's nickdip.com. So I hope to see you guys out there. We need something to get us in the mood for Texas. Ooh. What could we... Oh, Heidi Klum.

I dated her, but I had to break up. She snores. Heidi Klum, what, no moon? Apparently she's a big German soccer fan, and she's always putting herself on Instagram, cheering them along. I guess there's a big tournament coming up. I don't know, the sports for gay Europeans

and white girls in fifth grade. But anyways, if you like to watch teams playing in the neutral zone for three hours, it's a terrific spectator sport. Anyways, she's a big German, and she loves it. That was Heidi saying, you go, Germans, ahead of her home country's game against France in the UEFA European Football Conference Championship, a.k.a. the Euros, on Tuesday,

Heidi Klum showed her support in an entirely unsupportive shirt. The supermodel, 48th, you've got to be dog-styling, wore a tiny black bikini bottom, which, a gold belly chain. That's what I had on. She's 48. She's 48. And that's not airbrushed or nothing. Don't you think when God made her, he actually

he just you know, he kept her around. That's all I'm saying. Look at that. Those are real tits, by the way. 48. She's gravity-proof. Goodness gracious, Heloise. A gold belly chain and a German jersey chopped into a crop top that barely covered her nipples. Thank God.

Delicious. Delicious. Thank you. Look at that. Good luck today, Germany, the mom of four. You can tell she's had four kids. Look at her hips and belly. The mom of four. Four what?

Four kittens? She captioned the underboob bearing pic. Let's all study that pick, can we? Klum appears to be watching the game from her houseboat. Boy, life sucks, huh? On Lake Wannsee in Berlin where she and husband Tom Collett, I like to sniff

his fingers, were spotted packing on Major PDA, which is public display of affection, last month, I guess. So good for him, huh? Who don't? A few people. While the America's Got Talent star, excuse me, is no stranger to showing her love for her man, she's also not shy about showing off her body. Last month, she flaunted her physique by snapping a topless sunbathing photo on the beach. And I looked at that, and so did the German soccer team, and we heard that. Go, go, Audrey, show us, you can't go.

Even during the winter, she wore nothing but thigh-high boots with her puffy coat, which is what I used to do in winter in New York. Oh, my God. Help us, our Father who art in heaven. Let's stay on sports, shall we? Here's one for you. An Olympic hopeful says her burrito is to blame for her positive drug test. Didn't Jose Canseco say that?

Shelby Houlihan, the middle distance runner who currently holds two United States records, says she's been banned from the Tokyo Olympics after testing positive for the steroid nandrolone. Houlihan says she's clean and is blaming the test result on a pork burrito she got from a food truck. Oh, the poor girl. Anti-doping officials don't agree with the runner.

They've handed Houlihan a four-year ban. Why? Because she's a Karen? Just before U.S. Olympic trials for the track and field team will begin in Eugene, Oregon this weekend. You know what? You're better off not going to that shithole. She says, I quote, the runner says, I feel completely devastated, lost, broken, angry, confused, and betrayed by the very sport that I've loved and poured myself

into just to see how good I was, Houlihan said in an announcement on her Instagram feed. So she has a broken heart. You would too. Oh, poor you. Bullshit. She trains hard. I'm going to continue to fight to prove my innocence,

Houlihan said during an emotional virtual news conference. I absolutely respect and wholeheartedly support the fight to catch athletes who disrespect the sport by cheating and doping, but I'm not one of them. And you know what? I believe her. Does she look like she's doping? I can't believe she ate a burrito. She's been living on fucking carrots and dust. She's tried to establish her innocence

in a variety of ways, including a food log. Gross. She compiled after learning of the test result. After reviewing what she ate, Houlihan said, we concluded that the most likely explanation was a burrito purchased and consumed approximately 10 hours before that drug test from an authentic Mexican food truck. Always blaming the Mexicans. Mexican food truck that serves pig offal, I mean, O-F-F-A-L, near my house in Beaverton, Oregon. So she's blaming it on pork, which, you know, I don't know. Houlihan is now pointing to studies that show nandrolone occurs naturally in some pigs. But Dr. Keith Nachman, an associate professor at the John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health,

says the steroid would be unlikely to be found in pork. Okay, you're saying unlikely. You're not saying never. Nandrolone is not approved for use in any food animal, said Nachman, noting that it's illegal to use any steroid. Well, they use them all the times illegally. I saw my niece, seven years old. She ate like nothing but Purdue chicken for a year. She had a goatee when she was eight.

Use any steroid hormones in pig production. We use them in cattle and sheep, and that's it. Okay, but Mexico doesn't. I'm with her. I'm sorry. The runner says she plans to appeal the court's decision and I hope she wins. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. You're out of order. Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, West Coast stupid on display at Ace Hardware in Seattle. Where else? Let's drop a fucking bomb on Seattle and Portland, land of Marxist warts.

This guy goes to Ace Hardware somewhere in Seattle and is confronted. I think it was a mask problem, right? He's confronted by an employee with a bat. Just showing you that fucking guys, i don't even know his politics but he lives in seattle so i don't know but can you imagine i can't believe ace hard was not in trouble after what went down here take a look at this hit me with the back get out you talk These are the employees of Ace Hardware in fucking Seattle. What a fucking punk bitch. Look at this shit. What the fuck, man?

Punches like a bitch. Real guys here, huh? That's what's winning. Should've kneed him right in the face. You better get the fuck off him. Look at these fucking pieces of shit. I got the whole fucking thing on video, bitch. Bitch.

I got the whole fucking thing on video, bitch. Unbelievable. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Can you imagine? I think this is over a mask approaching him with a bat. You've got to be kidding me. I'm staying right here. It sure is. I'm not.

I've got to get out of here. That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Again, don't forget thecomicsgym.com nickdip.com Click on the tour dates. I'll see you guys hopefully in Dallas this Friday and Saturday night at the Sons of Herman Hall. Don't forget Cameo.com.

If you want me to roast a friend or a relative or say happy birthday, it's Father's Day. A lot of people have dads who are fans of mine. And so go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile, and it's self-explanatory. That is it, you guys. Think it. I will say profile, and it's self-explanatory. That is it, you guys. Think it. I will say it, as I always do. I will see you back here on Monday,

so have a great rest of the week and weekend. Take care. guitar solo Outro Music