The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden FBI Terrorizes Pro-Lifer | Nick Di Paolo Show #1280

Episode Date: September 28, 2022

Hurricane Ian a monster. Joy attacks DeSantis before Hurricane even hits. FBI arresting more innocents. Trump wants Biden to succeed. Black violence in NYC.

I want to take a second and thank our military men and women. You are our country's finest citizens, and you have my full respect. You guys know that. If you're a veteran and want to get all the extras of the Nick DiPaolo Show, including the daily encore show, go to patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo Show, and you'll find that we added a veteran discount, so you can subscribe for just $3 per month. And again, thank you guys.

God bless for defending my right to shoot my mouth off. I'm in jail. I'm a familiar. Greasy, greasy, greasy fall cocksucker. Thank you, Rosetta Stone. Hold on. And now, here's Nick. Hey! Ba-da-ba-ba-da. Ba-da-ba-da-ba.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba. There goes some more money to Paul Anka, that fucking stingy prick. Ed, how are you? You look pickled. Great show tonight, Ed. Got a very talented, well, you guys know him from that series, Roots, that Alex Trebek wrote. It was a ripoff. You know, Alex Haley ripped that off, by the way.

That's true. Ben Vereen, he played, I think he played Chicken George or Rib Shack Ronnie. I can't remember. And Joe Namath. The great Joe Namath. I'd like to sniff his fingers. Anybody else? And of course, one of our favorites in a regular show, Zsa Zsa Gabor. We'll talk about which L.A. cop she's fucking right now. Okay. What's going on? Yeah, that was me cooking a kale. The wife says, make me a kale zone. And I don't do much for her. Let's be honest. I mean, she's out front jackhammering the sidewalk. I'm watching the fucking college football. I am one of the worst husbands ever. But you know, I bring in the cake, and that's how it should be.

That's how it should be. I bring it in. You said you want to take care of the house and all that. Well, you are. She's not Jack Hammer. I'm kidding. Plenty of illegals to do that. Am I right, Ed?

You are correct, sir. Anyways, yeah, so she kept talking about calzone she had in the Bronx for years. And it's just, you know, ground beef, tomato sauce, regatt, little moots inside. So I bagged it out like the chef that I am. And this is probably what I'll be doing in two years for a living. I don't know. But we just showed you me taking it out of my pizza oven. I'll pay for that after I sell this last kilo of Coke.

And here is me cutting into it. It looks like a fucking football. Listen to this. Listen to that crunch. Nice and dull as my cock. Oh, yeah. Oh, diarrhea. Oh, diarrhea. Diarrhea regard.

Bon appétit. Look at that. Dallas, you and Gianna Cabalba. I'm sure Gianna likes a calzone. Oh, yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah. You know, my late great friend,

Greg Zook, who passed away. So now we're in touch with his nephew, Andy. He's in his 40s now. Last time I saw him, literally he was like three years old. So we're in touch now and we sent him this calzone. My wife, like, made a face on it

and shit with stupid, you know, and I go, what the fuck? But he must have some of Greg in him because my late friend Greg loved stupid puns and shit. And he sends back, he goes, you should animate the mouth so it's talking and call him Calzone. And I replied like this. No. That might be a good intro if we ever do this cooking shit, which we really should. Anyways, let's get to it.

I'm fucking around. Meanwhile, people in Florida are going, you know, I'm from New Jersey. What the fuck? Anyways, hurricane from hell. Daunting satellite images show bolts of lightning sparking around the massive swirling eye, looks like a colonoscopy I had, of Hurricane Ian. What a pussy name for such a mean storm. As the apocalyptic storm approaches Florida Wednesday after already knocking out power

in Cuba, what does that mean? One of the fat Castros died? Hummer, hummer, hummer, hummer, hummer. Look at that. Look at that sucker. You don't have to be Al Roker to know that thing. You don't have to be Al Roker to not be able to get a cab. The time...

What the fuck? Why would you... The time lapse by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, where Hooper worked, came as more than 2.5 million people in the sunshine state have been urged to evacuate before the eye is expected to hit their late Wednesday. You hearing some hissing? Yeah, it's this right here. All right,

let's take a, let's go to the videotape. Look at that. Oh, I didn't realize you were playing it. Are you all right? Look at that. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. I love it. Danger. Look at that on the outside. It's Pauly Shore. Those are flash cubes. That's me getting out of the car. Anyways, I have a sister and a brother who have houses in Naples, Florida. And the sister has one, ironically, she's in Italy right now. And my brother's in Ohio. He's like monitoring them. He sends me a thing. They had already three inches of rain like an hour ago. I mean, anyways, if Air Force hurricane hunters find Ian has strengthened into an extremely tough fag. Extremely.

Yeah. extremely dangerous category four hurricane the united states national hurricane set at miami set at 5 a.m on wednesday it's expected to cause life-threatening storm surge catastrophic winds and flooding across florida the advisory warned whoa that's that bridge I've been over a million times. Every Florida gig I went to, I had to do radio over that. Very recent data from an Air Force Reserve Hurricane Hunter aircraft indicate that the maximum sustained winds have increased to nearly 140 miles per hour with higher gusts. Enos forecast to approach the west coast of Florida

as an extremely dangerous major hurricane, folks. Dangerous. Danger, Will Robinson. While the edge will hit early today, the center of Ian is forecast to move over central Florida tonight and Thursday morning and emerge over the western Atlantic by late Thursday, the Hurricane Center said, which means it'll be up coming towards us, right? On Thursday, you think, Dallas? Last year we had a big warning like that, if you remember.

And literally me and my wife sat out on the front steps waiting for the... We come out, literally two leaves got coming down, just two little leaves. I got hit with a little spit of rain. It was a little gentle, perhaps a fall. That's right. That's right. That was kind of creepy. It was the silence before the storm. Nothing ever came. This is me. It's so funny. I'm such a cynical ass. My wife's like, oh, we better, I gotta do that. I said, don't you understand Home Depot and the local weatherman have a deal? Understand how much plywood they're going to sell? A hurricane warning covering roughly

220 miles of the state included Fort Myers, as well as Tampa and St. Pete, which could get their first direct hit by a major hurricane since 1921. Forecasters said the storm surge could reach 12 feet if it peaks at high tide. Rainfall near the area of landfall could get this. Top 18 frucking inches. I heard... And my wife said, how much is 18 inches? And I said, my dick twice.

And then I was hit with a frying pan right here not so much here but right here 18 inches of rain I've read 24 on the internet this morning two feet of water imagine if that was snow boy boy is this great anyways stay safe Florida yeah at, 2.5 million evacuated. Good time to loot. Whoops. Speaking of looting and who does it, let's talk about Joyless Joy Reid. What a hateful... Does this broad...

Do you understand? It's so funny that white people are called racists in this country. And nobody, nobody is a bigger racist, including Klan members, fucking the Grand Wizard. I don't give a fuck who you're talking about. Nobody is a bigger racist than Joy Reid. Her hate for white people runs so frigging deep, this stupid bitch went to Harvard.

Okay? There's your problem. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure she got in on her grades. Get the fuck out of here. You should be washing the toilets there. MSNBC's Joy Reid compared the millions.

Listen to this. She can never stop with evacuating Florida ahead of the Hurricane Ian. She compared them to illegal immigrants crossing the border in a slight against Governor Ron DeSantis, of course. Hey, look at the carrot-top do on that dumb, dumb, dumb biatch. Can you imagine? Yeah, that's exactly the same. Exactly. Oh, my God. And wait till we play the clip. I almost went through. As the Category 3 storm made its way through Cuba towards Florida, Reid criticized DeSantis on the readout. Get it?

Readout. That's the name of the show. Jesus. For somebody who can't read. Joking that he is now forced to do something other than owning the libs to help Florida citizens. Yeah, that's all he's done. That's why half the country's moving there, you dumb bitch. Oh my God, I can't stand this. She's a malignant cunt. Oh, that's going easy on her. Later on, she suggested that those temporary

living stayed, I didn't go by the video yet, did I? Yeah. Stayed under hurricane evacuation orders are no different from illegal immigrants who want to live and work in the United States. How do you get there? How do you get there? People fleeing a life and death situation, right? But see, because it's a lot of white people. Oh, no, it's no different. There's also a key difference here.

They actually go back to the state, back to their homes when it's done well yes exactly they're citizens and they pay taxes just you know little thing like that they don't they don't come over and drain this fucking social safety nets and uh you just she has to be brighter than that i don't give a shit affirmative action gotta rent the car she's blinded by her fucking hate. How is this bitch MSNBC, how the fuck is she not? Where are the Republicans going? Get her off the fucking air. Where are the people that boycott like Tucker Carlson show and shit?

You filthy, you're right. I'm not saying those are the people that be boycotting her, but I'm saying, whiz, on our side, where are those people? Ay, ay, ay. It's a bit ironic now, she says, that you might have Floridians having to pour over the borders and go north. Yeah, it's the same thing. You mean state lines?

Yeah, same thing, exactly. Swimming across a fucking river. Go north and get out of the state of Florida in the exact same crisis we have been talking about on a trolling level in that state for a long time, she said. What? Listen to her language. And I warn you, this should have been a fucking reverse the races after I saw the clip. But listen to how she fucking, go ahead. after I saw the clip.

But listen to how she fucking, go ahead. And be careful about attacking people who have to move to save their own lives and safety because you never know when it's your people that have to move, when it's your people who have to migrate, when it's your people.

Pause. Who's your people? You can say that? How about your people? How about your people that 80% fucking illegitimacy rate murdering each other and white people, selling drugs for the last 50 years,

beating up old people, raping and killing? Shut the fuck up. Your people. Can you imagine a fucking white anchor on Fox showing a black clip and go, your people are causing too much trouble. Your people are fucking up the school system. Your people can't keep up.

Says it with impunity. Fucking MSNBC. Somebody bomb that fucking place. Am I teasing? I'll let you figure it out. Yes, of course. I kid. Who the fuck's that?

Orville Redenbacher on the right? Fucking Keanu Reeves on the left? Look at her. Stupid face. I'd like to take a dump on it. Elsewhere, and it looks like somebody beat me to it. Elsewhere in the segment, Democratic pollsters Fernand Armandi suggested that DeSantis failure to secure the housing, they are so desperate, to secure the housing market in Florida could lead to another catastrophe for the state. What does that even mean? You pompous, stuck-up, not-noticed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. It has nothing to do with the hurricane. Oh, my God. What is he talking about?

I'll say it again. This is a tropical depression, right? That's what they call it. Well, I got a segment coming up. It's called Topical Depression. It's when all the headlines are really set. That's the type of shit you get on cable. Oh, my God, I want to fucking, I just want to saw her head off, throw it into a dumpster,

let a homeless guy find it, use it for a toilet. They didn't do nearly enough, and now the people of Florida are going to face this catastrophe, not once, but twice, because Ron DeSantis and the Republicans that have been in charge of the state for 28 years, you mean the state everybody's moving to? Look, it's number one, he's telling you. Joy, they have done nothing.

The Republicans have done nothing. Only made it the most popular state. It is shameful. They are living on a different fucking... That says it better. That's all I can say. Isn't it creepy how they see the world? It's creepy.

How does this not end in a fucking war? I don't understand. I don't want that. Trust me, folks. There's a lot of good college games on this weekend. I'm not going to fucking... Dallas, give me one. What's a fucking good...

Who did we talk about yesterday? There's a lot. There's a lot. Trust me. DeVry at Monmouth. DeSantis also oversaw Hurricane Sally striking the Florida Panhandle in

September of... After it heavily damaged the city of Pensacola. What's that mean? You trying to blame it on him? He's the best governor in the country. Can you name a lefty governor that's half as popular as him or has done as much? How about him being ahead of everybody on COVID? You guys remember that? You fucking idiots.

You are dumb. You're in the wrong business. You really are. You're not the wrong business. You really are. You're not good at anything, really, people on the left. You should have stuck with your tie-dye T-shirts like your parents did. Smoke weed and fucking whatever. Paint.

Anyways, Nick, you seem very agitated. Oh, it's about my eighth cup of coffee. That Calzone right now is trying to get at me like triplets. That thing must That thing must have weighed a pound, about three and a half pounds. I cut it in half and I give it to my wife. I go, there's no way she's going to even put a dent in it. I look over about four minutes later, she's got a bite left. The fuck is that about? And we both have, you know, lactose intolerance.

There's about two pounds of regar in there. I said, this is a good time to test those pipes the guy fixed. And you know what? We took a lactate pill, which never do anything for me. Right after I eat cheese, again, it sounds like Duke Ellington on his trumpet doing a solo or whatever. Louis Armstrong. I take the, you know,

that rubber thing on the end of the plunger that they use for the trumpet. But it worked. Nothing. Didn't get a stomach ache or nothing. Anyways, I don't know why I'm talking about poo-poo. This show is entirely supported by you listeners. Thank you to those who joined our Patreon in the past week, those who made contributions too. Please continue to do so. I'll promise I'll keep working to spread honest and direct comedy and commentary through the show,

and I promise I'll have Tommy write some new copy. I can't read this shit again. You can contribute at nickdip.com. I'll read your name on the show. Thank you guys again in advance so much. And the show is great. We're excited because it's back up and doing what it should be doing, by the way. Let's move on, shall we?

FBI, you know what that stands for? Forever Badgering the Innocent. Thank you very much. Sure, there's a T in there, but you don't count that. As many as 22 lawmakers, as they say in New York, have called upon Attorney General Merrick Garland, who's a closeted fruit cup. I don't give a shit.

Look, he belongs in a tree making cookies. Does he not? Does he not? Look at this jerk-off. You can tell he's been bullied his whole life. What a nasty little man. Attorney General Merrick Garland to provide an explanation as to why the FBI allegedly sent 25 to 30 fully armed agents to arrest a Catholic pro-life activist, Mark Houck, as his screaming children watched in horror. How's that for a headline? But again, it's the Republicans. They're the ones who are...

Are you interested in the real story? We're the fascists, you know. Released Tuesday, the open letter spearheaded by Rep. Chip Roy, a Republican from Texas, said the FBI should have an extraordinary reason for arresting Houck the way they allegedly did. The letter said, there is much to learn about the extent of the FBI's operations in this case. Apparently, since state-level charges were apparently dismissed by local authorities in Philadelphia, surely the FBI must have an extraordinary reason for showing up at the home of an American family, allegedly with roughly 25 heavily armed agents and arresting a father in front

of his seven children. And they dare call people on the right fascists or the fucking broad in Italy, Maloney. Can you point to a time when Republicans did that? on the right fascists. Or the fucking broad in Italy, Maloney. Can you point to a time when Republicans did that? Kenya in the last 40 years? I say 40 because after that I was watching Gilligan. Mark Houck,

the founder and president of the King's Men, a group dedicated to helping men become better husbands, fathers, and leaders. Jesus, he sounds like a threat to society, doesn't he? Was arrested at his rural Pennsylvania home last Friday for allegedly violating the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrance Act. That's face. Yeah, why don't you sit on mine, garlic? Wait a minute, that would make me gay too. Anyways, during his regular sidewalk counseling outside of an abortion clinic in 20, this happened in 2021, this incident.

Speaking with LifeSite News, Houck's wife, Ryan Marie, said that around 25 to 30 fully armed FBI agents stormed their property early Friday morning, aiming their rifles at the children as the children screamed in horror. Point to the rifles at the guy's head, right in front of his kids. Excuse me. That's me crying, looking at him having all those kids. I couldn't. How do you? The guy's more of a man him having all those kids. I couldn't. How do you? The guy's more of a man than I'll ever be.

The FACE Act violation allegedly stems from an incident in which Houck shoved a 72-year-old abortion activist escorting women into a Planned Parenthood clinic. Right, you could tell he was the aggressor just by looking at him and what he does for a living. You fucking people. Houck's family maintains that the man had been harassing his 12 year old son. They were talking about it on TV and he was he was the guy was saying to the 12 year old

get right in his face. You know, your dad's a faggot, right? And saying all this horrendous shit. You really want me to believe this guy was going to provoke somebody, though the media reports that the escort required medical attention after Houck shoved him, Brian Middleton, a spokesman for the Houck family, told Catholic News Agency that the escort needed little more than a band-aid and sustained no serious injuries. The spokesman, see what happens when lawyers get involved in politics, the spokesman

also said that the Houck family is now seeking to obtain video evidence of the incident. Both Philadelphia police and the district attorney declined to file charges against Houck. And though the escort, why do they keep calling it an escort? Because the escort's women into Planned Parenthood. It makes it sound like the whore that he is. Filed a private criminal complaint

in Philadelphia Municipal Court. The case was allegedly dismissed in July. Sounds like there's no case there to me. So why are we still talking about it? So why is the FBI needing to do an actual raid for something so mundane? You know why. He's a little bit of a high profile pro-life guy. Just letting you know, they don't believe in God. They fucking believe in killing babies. You guys have heard my stand-up. I'm not a huge pro-life guy.

You know what I mean? I think they go too extreme. But, you know. I'm not going to do the bit. It'll explain why. Get it on my next album called Who's That Spanish Fella? According to attorney Peter Breen, oh, he's a hunk, this Peter Breen. I like that I got a piece of him. Hey, Peter Breen, this is what I think of your haircut. Oh my God, I found a new toy.

Thomas, the Thomas More Society, vice president and senior counsel, Houck agreed to turn himself over to the authorities voluntarily three months ago. Rather than accepting Mr. Houck's offer to appear voluntarily, the Biden Department of Justice chose to make an unnecessary show of potentially deadly force.

The guy was going to turn himself in, but that's not enough, because it doesn't get on the news and doesn't show off what, hey, we're in charge. Sending 20 heavily armed federal agents to Houck's residence at dawn on this past Friday. Who the fuck do you think you are? The FBI.

Who the fuck do you think you are? Who the fuck? That was audio from me at Arby's. I told the guy to pick up his pay. Put simply, violence is never the answer, said the dumbest bitch in the land, Jacqueline McGuire, special agent in charge of the FBI's Philadelphia division.

I looked her up, and of course, she was in the military, and again, looks like a cornerback for the Eagles. You know what I'm saying. Violating the FACE Act by committing a physical assault. Here's a new rule I'm going to say. I don't think you guys are going to like it. You will, but I'm just saying the rest of the country won't. No more minorities or women in government because you can't be objective. You all have a chip on your shoulder about your place in society and it's imaginary one. How's that? That's putting your foot

down. You want to see fascism? Put me in charge. By committing, I want to have lunch with Mrs. Maloney over there. It's not about act by committing a physical assault is a serious crime for which assault

pushing a guy who needed a Band-Aid. That's the world we live in. Thank you, lawyers, nerds, and jerk-offs. For which the FBI will work to hold offenders accountable. Yeah, you be doing... Make sure you're doing that. Go after a family guy who shoved a guy, allegedly, as terrorists are pouring over the border.

That's what you FBI, is that what you're doing? Mrs. Dinkweed? God, she makes me sick. You stupid fucking blabbermouth, cut! That's the clip that keeps the show from blowing up. Or from failing. Or from... Faelic. Hout's attorney, Peter Breen, also told Breitbart News that

Thomas More Society notified the Biden Department of Justice that FACE Act does not cover one-on-one altercations. And they sent 30... Hout could face up to 11 years in prison and fines of up to $350,000 if found guilty. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something. There'll be a GoFundMe page. He'll get twice that in an hour. Trust me. Catholics are like this. They're like the Jews. They stick together. What? I don't know. I just made that up.

I was listening to Louis C.K. He's kind of an atheist, dude. But he's not a dick about it. But one of his bits, his references make me laugh so hard. He goes, ah, who goes to church out here like nobody raises their hand? You know, he's in front of 5,000 people. He goes, that shit is so over. He goes, you ever wander into a church

now on like a Sunday? He goes, it looks like a roller skating rink on a Wednesday afternoon. That made me fucking cackle. Let's move on to the man we need back in charge. Him or the Sam. I don't care. I'll take either one.

Trump's just more entertaining. A little more petty, but I don't care. That's how I am. My mother says, you never let anything go. And I said, fuck off. What do you mean, like your throat? Trump wants Biden to succeed, unlike the Dems. Just watch the tone here as compared to the hatefulness on the left.

You know why they're so hateful? They're insecure. And they should be because they are intellectually just fucking retarded. As far as politics goes, former President Donald Trump warned Tuesday that World War III could erupt. You know what's funny? That's what they said. Remember when that was the Dems' biggest worry about getting him in office?

They're like, he's going to get us into World War III? All the shit. Well, he said, Trump, World War III could erupt over Ukraine or Taiwan. And said Russian President Vladimir Putin's threat of unleashing nuclear weapons made this a very, made it a very bad, very dangerous time. Yes, sir. During an appearance on 77 WABC. I actually had a little radio thing on there. Uh, Trump was asked by host John Casamates, uh, what things, he's a billionaire, this guy owns a chain of restaurants, I mean, of a supermarket, keep you up at night, he asked Trump. Trump said,

I think, uh, more than anything else, it's that bean burrito at about 1.25 in the morning. He says, I think we could end up in World War III, and it could be all of the horrible things that took place in Ukraine, he said. Looks like it's going to happen in China with Taiwan. Boy, he was cherry-mood. As you know, and you see what's going on over there. I like the way he throws out a broad sentence like that. And you see what's going on. If I was interviewing, I'd go, well, what is going on?

He'd go, I don't know, a bunch of angry people. I don't know. But that's where my ties are made. We've got to keep them free. That was pretty funny. Trump also alluded to Putin's speech last week in which he vowed to use all the means at our disposal to protect Russia and our people. I think Trump said we're at the most dangerous time maybe in many, many years, maybe ever because of the power of nuclear, Trump said. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved?

Because the Dems told me they were. For a major nation that's equal with us on nuclear power, they actually have more than us. It doesn't matter. You blow the world up 10 times or 70 times. For a major nation that's equal with us on nuclear power to be throwing around the word cavalierly like nuclear is a very, very bad time. Very bad time. No, a bad time is like when you go to a party and your wife

gets sick and you have to leave her. A very bad time. Very bad time for this country and a very bad and very dangerous time for the world. Trump also agreed with Cassimides, suggesting that if he were still president, Putin wouldn't have invaded Ukraine earlier this year. I got along with him very well. I spoke to him. I understood him, Trump said to the Russian leader. We played squash together. I made him a sandwich. He understood me, but I understood him well, and he would have never done it. You are correct, sir.

Translation, Putin thinks I'm crazier than he is. And he's right. That's why we love him. I miss his goddamn rallies. I used to get so excited for his rallies. Just to hear him talk the same 50 talking points that he does, but then throwing off the cuff crap. And then when he gets a big laugh, he'd turn his back to the audience like a comedian does.

Without mentioning President Biden's by name during the 20-minute pre-recorded interview, Trump also blasted last year's botched U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan before launching into a series of attacks. A lot of things don't make sense, he said. Inflation doesn't make sense. Totally unnecessary. That was caused by oil. That was caused by energy prices. Now it's caused by everything.

Now it's beyond that, he said. Now, this is a clip of him. This is him with Casametes, but now the clip is of him talking to Hannity. And him and Hannity are tight. They said Hannity had his ear the whole time he was in the White House. And this is another example of softball questions like teen. I'm up for your kid.

Here's Trump talking to Hannity. Republican or Democrat, I want to see somebody that's great. You want Joe Biden to succeed? Right. You want Joe Biden to succeed. I would rather have him succeed incredibly, even if it meant a much tougher and maybe even a loss. I want to see what's good for the country. If if I had my choice of having this mess that we have in there right now, this country is a mess. This country is not going to survive the way it's going right now. It's not going to be willing to go through all the hell that we talked about today and all that you went through all these six years because you put your country first this is this is a

calling for the country first yeah yeah that's not supposed to do you matter a Democrat I was saying that about Trump we just want him to succeed because it's a... I am your voice. He was the best guy around. All right, let me show you this about that. Boy, more violent clips. Oh, we're getting to that. I want you guys to know at home, for every clip I show of black violence on whoever, I skip over 10 or 15 a day. I don't know. How much are we going to put up with in this fucking country?

They can't even say it on, when they talk about it on TV, they can't, they don't even use the word black. A hundred teens in downtown Philly swarmed. Oh, yeah? Diversity's not important then, huh? Just teens. Hey, guys, make plans to come and see me on the road. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates.

Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. The next night, the 12th of November, Saturday, Snappers Comedy Club, Fort Myers, Florida, if the club's still there after these hurricanes. Sunday, November 13th, same for this one, Sidesplitters Comedy Club, Tampa, Florida. So those three nights right now, 11th, 12th, 13th.

And at the Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A after the show with VIP ticket holders. So grab those before they're gone. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Well, I'm trying to think of the most useless mayors in the country. And it's really a dead heat. Just pick any liberal city. And, you know, Mayor Adams, though though this guy was supposed to be remember he was

supposed to be a tough cop and law and order guy this motherfucker has done nothing and again i believe it's all intentional mayor adams useless the mom of five who was mercilessly pummeled by a homeless maniac at a queen subway station, revealed her gruesome injuries Tuesday while issuing a desperate plea to Mayor Adams, who's just... She said, our city needs major help, said Elizabeth Gomes, after removing her sunglasses to show her injuries. Look at this. Some guy from the horrific caught on camera attack, which included her eyes being swollen shut in a nasty gash over her right one.

She can hardly see out of the one that's not bashed in. We're going through a lot here, she said. I feel I really this was really upsetting. Remember hearing, she said, I remember hearing that they would have cops posted. Remember when the mayor said all this when he first took over? Cops posted on platforms, riding the trains,

cops down on the subway. Mayor Adams said, especially in the subway, she said. The mayor said we would have much more cops in the subway and the cops specifically would be patrolling the subways because that's where the worst of the crimes were happening, especially at places like Howard Beach Station. There was no one, she says. This was 5 in the morning. She works at JFK.

Why no protection there, she said, referring to her early morning assault on September 20th at the Howard Beach Station. Here she is talking. This is her husband on the right. I mean, she's just a hardworking lady. This is just, and I'll show you the beating she took. I mean, you think you and I get desensitized because we show so much of this shit? I just can't believe a fucking guy would do that to a woman.

But then I say guy, I mean fucking savage animal. Anyways, listen to her. It's like any other crazy guy out there. He's just talking about a whole bunch of nonsense and just trying to ignore him, just, you know, just trying to make it to work peacefully. And I mean, I don't know, it just viciously attack me out of nowhere like I don't even want to take the train you know I love my job so much and a part of me like it doesn't want to go back because I'm scared I wouldn't ever be like this to happen like my life has changed everything changed yeah I'm as mad as hell

and I'm not going to take this anymore. That's how every woman right now that lives in New York, they're taking polls. They're afraid to leave. You know what I mean? Because you can get it walking through Midtown.

It doesn't have to be nighttime either. So obviously the government or nobody is doing anything for us, the married mom said in a separate interview with her husband minutes early outside the home. When we're out there, we're by ourselves. We're fighting these battles by ourselves. And what do they do? They go try to help other countries that have nothing to do with what we're going through in our own place, which is so, so right, but nobody's listening. Nobody can hear you.

Nobody cares about you. Nothing will come out of this. Gomes asked later by the Post who she was referring to by they, replied the mayor, the governor. She's right on top of it, even though she had her brains bad. Here is a refresher video for you guys because I didn't show this one right? A couple days ago

I skipped over it because I'm like yeah I showed it exactly. Here's what happened to her at 5 in the morning just trying to go to work. What the fuck? What the fuck? Race war already started, folks.

Wake up. But that was a brown lady. I know. You fucking believe that? How can a place in New York at 5 in the morning be that void of security? Fucking guy has a record of mile long, of course. Has no business. Is he the one that beat his grandmother to death?

I'm confusing my thugs. I think when he was 14, it might be another story, but I think he beat his grandmother to death, I read in the article. Adams declined to comment to the Post. Who, the mayor? With his office referring questions to the NYPD. This dummy. What a fucking... The minute I saw him, I'm like, that's who you picked?

You'd think Giuliani should have been the permanent mayor. In April, he vowed to double the number of NYPD officers on the subways after the horrific Brooklyn station shooting that injured 28 people. Forgot about that one, remember? Already? But he promised, you know, to double the fucking... Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head.

Two months later, he said the NYPD would begin solo patrols of the subway so that more ground could be covered by cops. The move ended a safety policy of partnered patrols that had been instituted after double street assassination of officers Wayne Shane Liu and Rafael Ramos. Remember that? They were just sitting in the car during the riots. That's 10 years ago? That's right. That just sitting in the car during the riots. That's 10 years ago?

That's right. That wasn't the last round of the riots. That was 10 years ago already. Gomes, a JFK airport security, was on her way to work when she was randomly attacked by a ranting vagrant identified by cops as ex-con. Oh yeah, granny killer, Waheed Foster, who was still on parole for a 2010 assault. Can you imagine? That's your sister, mother, or whoever. What the fuck? These politicians, these lib cocksuckers, they're sicking thugs on your daughters and wives and anybody.

How the fuck are they still in office? Why? Because when you vote, it doesn't count. They're appointed. This is a fucking mirage. I've come to the conclusion. Headline. Final story. More black savagery. Yeah, it's the police

who need... I sent this out because I saw this clip. Is this the school fight? I tweeted it. I said, yeah, it's the police who need reforming and reimagining, not the black culture in this country. When is enough enough? How much more of this savage behavior does everyone have to put up with

before we can call them out on it? And then a few hashtags that probably kept the thing from getting posted. But this is just a classroom somewhere. a few hashtags that probably kept the thing from getting posted. But this is just a classroom somewhere, and a teacher trying to break up a fight between two well-behaved kids. And boy, they get suspended more than the white students. That's just plain racism, huh? Just take a look at this clip.

No! Stop it! Break it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Just take a look at this clip. You broke her nose! Call the teacher, call the teacher. Okay. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch! And then they'll go, black students get... why are they getting punished more than white people they do remember minneapolis it's called disparate impact it was under obama of course they went in there and they saw blacks because most of them come from a broken home if they even show up to school you know but they just looked at it with their numbers around here, but fix it.

Ay, ay, ay. So, you know, but like I said, they can't even talk about it on TV. They'd say, two schoolmates got in a fight, which technically, I guess you could say, but it's like, I'm trying to describe it. It's like if you had, I don't know, three kinds of gerbils in a cage.

One of them's brown, the other one's gray, and the other one's black. And the fucking gray one keeps killing the other ones. But you can't see. I don't know how to. Gerbils? Yeah. Must have been something I did last night.

Never mind. And I guess this beef started on the playground at recess. These two kids got into it with their friends. A large fruit to a rope and whirls it swiftly at rope's length. The others attempt to hit the fleeting object by casting their spears at it. The target movement is much like that of an attacking or retreating animal. And that, apparently, the kid let it go and it hit Tyrone in the chin. And they were at each other.

Anyways, I looked for the footage. It's all I could find. That was on CNN, by the way. Okay, that is it, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. And don't forget Cameo.com. I got one waiting for me today. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go forget cameo.com. I got one waiting for me today. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. And don't forget to tell your friends to sign up at Patreon. And we have that military discount. That's it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome.

We'll be back here tomorrow for what? The final day of the week. Have a good day. guitar solo Outro Music