The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Full of Natural Gas | Nick Di Paolo Show #674

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

Biden already blaming Russia. US brands pull out. Cruise ship slip & slide. Another light sentence. Basketball brawl. Space sex.

I am so sick and tired of the liberal agenda that is destroying our country from our schools to our workplaces to our media. It's literally everywhere. Well, everywhere maybe, but not this show. Never. Here you get the truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. I don't care if I hurt feelings or if I take a position that isn't agreeable or if I step on somebody's toes. I call them the way I see them and I put it out there for free. To keep this show free, I need your help. Please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution or even better, subscribe at thecomicsgym.com or on Patreon today and get

an extra encore show each day. Discounts on merchandise and a whole lot more. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing to the best show, in my opinion, on the Internet and the most honest. You guys make it happen. The three congressmen you have here, two of them look like they really could and did play ball, and the other one looks like he can bomb you. Who was the racist president?

Joy Reid? Oh yeah. Oh yeah. How are you folks? Wednesday, Georgia. Lester's in. The president has died. What's going on, folks? Good to be with you. What did I want to talk about off the top of my head? Nothing. I just, at 1.30 in the morning, I got out of bed, went downstairs, made a turkey and cheese sandwich on a croissant, ate it, started to head back to my bedroom, turned back around,

said, that was so good, I want another one. Had two at 1.30 and a little Debbie strawberry shortcake. This is what I do. I know I'm working out today. So that's how I justify it, you know, which used to work when I had a metabolism, not one of a paralyzed sea elephant at the age of fucking 60. I was actually laughing in bed laying there. It quieted the growling, I'll tell you that goddamn much.

Then I watched like three episodes of Evil Lives Here. Oh my god. They found some great stories to the point where you're going, come on. Anyways, you've got to watch that. Eva lives here. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Motherless folk. Let's get, yeah. So anyways, let's get on with it. Hey, as far as the N-word, the opening segment, I'm adjusting that because Tommy said, look, it has to be 30 seconds or less because people on the internet have zero attention, which is true and stuff. But also, I have to have enough time to explain what I'm talking about and get a joke out there. And 30 seconds just isn't doable, in my opinion. I'll figure something out. Every day, maybe I'll, I don't

know, I'll have a different dress on and a silly hat. Anything to get your attention. Maybe me choking a cat, all that type of shit. Okay, let's get right to it. Biden, the bullshitter. Again, I'm picking stories here and there. I told you guys, I'm like, hey, everything that comes out the next day, they go, well, that wasn't true. That wasn't true. And I really believe it's a propaganda campaign on nine sides. So I don't want to do that much. But Tommy picked the stories last night. So it's a little more Russia heavy than I would have it because I don't believe any frigging thing. Like I just, I just saw this on the internet before we came on. Russian, according to the Ukrainians, Russian bombing destroys children's hospital in Maripol.

So I watched a little clip they have on about a two minute clip and the guy's walking through the building with a camera and it's all rubble and shit, but all he's showing his offices, you know what I mean? Like administrative office. I'm going, okay, show me the babies. It's a maternity ward. Show me some friggin' fish tanks you keep the kids in. Whatever the fuck they are. Show me some of those blankets with orange and blue stripes on them that seem to be universal when you have a new baby. But I didn't see anything. Not even a rattle or a little pair of tiny shoes.

So I'm not saying, look, I'm just saying. I guess I am saying. You've got to verify. You've got to give us more. And I was laughing yesterday because Gutfeld on The Five was making a point about don't get wrapped up in these clips they show you, you know, to tug at your heartstrings, whatever. He was, you know, it's kind of a cold point, but a true point. And then they threw it during the five to this guy, Benjamin Hall, who's covering the war over there. And he kind of pushed back on that. He actually, you know, kind of said, these aren't

things intentional or whatever. And then they cut back and got back and go, should I challenge him on that or not right now? I'll be the bigger man. But I picked up on it, too. I went, ooh, we got a little cat fight here. So whatever. I see that guy's point because he's old. But I got Greg's point, too.

Because again, folks, everything that's put up on the screen is put up for a reason. It's not just to show you pictures. Anyhow, we know it's a New World Order thing, by the way. But I keep, you know, whatever. I want to see the five people. Well, I know, let's see. I know Zuckerberg's one of them.

Bill Gates. Soros. Soros, who's bragging about this war practically being his. That motherfucker should have been taken out years ago. Whatever. I don't know how he's still alive. I don't think he's human. No, he is.

They talk about the devil incarnate. This motherfucker. Hi-yi-yi. I can't believe there's people on the planet like that that can actually... He destroyed banks. He almost bankrupted the fucking country of the UK with some of his trade moves or whatever the fuck. He broke many big banks. I can't even work my email.

How the fuck are we from the same species? Excuse me. Anyways, Biden, the bullshitter, on Tuesday said that he can't do much about gas prices that are surging past all-time highs after he signed an executive order to ban Russian oil imports. Comrade, do you have a message for the American people on gas prices? One of the reporters asked, and Joe said, That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. He would say that, too, if he could.

Anyways, a reporter asked Biden as he arrived in Fort Worth, Texas, for an event. No, it wasn't my show in a couple of weeks. About veterans' health. They're going to go up, Biden says. Unlike my penis that stopped 40 years ago. A reporter followed up, what can you do about it? Oh, Jesus, don't ask him a follow-up.

And this is his answer. Can't do much right now. Russia is responding. And again, it's not Biden. It's AOC, the left, whoever the fuck's controlling this guy, the New World Order, pick anybody. But it's so, it is, they're so dumb, the answer is predictable.

The minute he announced that he was going to not buy Russian oil anymore, everybody, even leftists were going, he's going to blame it on, he's going to blame it on Putin now, the high gas price. They're not even creative with their dirtiness. Russia is responsible, he said, unpredictably, despite Republicans urging him to allow more domestic drilling and pipeline projects, which everybody knows it's his fault.

You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. Biden announced Tuesday morning that he would ban imp. By the way, they're talking about all these, they came out, Jen Psaki said, and Biden said, this 9,000, they have 9,000 drilling places

or whatever, licenses or whatever, but they're not drilling, you know, you need a permit too, supposedly, which they don't have. Just slimy motherless fucks, the left. Anything to take this country down. Everybody knows he could open up the Keystone, start

drilling, sitting on a ton of natural gas. Again, he's getting orders from Soros' sister, Betty Soros. Biden announced Tuesday morning that he would ban imports of Russian oil and we can't have any Russian dressing, he said. That's what's going to, what?

After two weeks of bipartisan pressure, Biden reportedly called House Speaker Nancy Cunlips Pelosi Monday night in a failed attempt to call off a vote on legislation that would force his hand. This is a step that we're taking to inflict further pain on, what do you mean further pain? Putin's sitting there. Last time I checked, he had a bevy of flight attendants smoking hot. Wasn't that a few days ago? Yeah, he's suffering. Further pain on Putin, but there will be costs as well here in the United States.

How convenient, Joe. And folks, don't forget this fact. Gas prices were going up before Putin even fucking invaded. So don't fall for this horseshit. Biden warned on Tuesday morning remarks as U.S. gas prices hit an all-time high of $4.17 per gallon on average. Yeah, that's here. L.A., which I love it, though. If you're living in L.A., you deserve it, you dummies. This is how they're going to get us off fossil fuels, probably, you know.

L.A., seven plus, probably eight today. The Biden administration has attempted to woo the despotic leaders of Iran, Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela, all our fucking enemies. All of a sudden, we like Maduro, who runs Venezuela, dictator. Iran, can you imagine? Instead of doing the right thing by the American people, we're begging those fucking people, countries that push gay people off the tops of, you know, as opposed to taking steps to boost domestic production as Russia's

invasion of Ukraine disrupts energy markets. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? I don't know. Gas prices? I don't know. How about the fact that Putin brings up the old Soviet Union every time? Brings up the old Soviet Union every time. U.S. diplomats are working to broker a new nuclear deal with Iran in exchange for sanctions relief.

There you go. We're going to give Iran sanctions relief. Translation, more money to fucking fuel their world war. We're cutting our own throats. It's fucking priceless. And are suddenly seeking to smooth over a riff with Venezuela's socialist strongman, Nicolas Maduro,

who the U.S. government does not recognize as the country's legitimate role. So, I don't recognize our president as illegitimate. Seriously. Two illegitimates. Look at stupid here. Oh, God. Biden reportedly is considering a trip to Saudi Arabia this spring to get some pussy. Apparently, there's a harem over there, one of the young Muslims,

to move past hard feelings with Saudi crown prince. Oh, Mohammed bin Salman. He only cut up a fucking journalist. The U.S. Intelligence Committee believes he ordered the 2018 hit that killed and dismembered by Bonesaw. Yeah, let's ask this guy. And then we have the Washington Post columnist, Jamal Khashoggi. You remember that, don't you, folks? Got a clip from him. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa.

That's who we're asking. And then he's going to come on and talk about American values. And if you don't support this war against Russia, you're a fucking, you're not a patriot. You're not a Democrat. You people are sick in a lie head. Biden, who recently ordered the release of some oil from the National Strategic Reserve, you're supposed to applaud him for that, defended his own energy policies amid rise in gas prices,

saying Tuesday morning, it's simply not true that my administration or policies are holding back domestic energy production. That's simply not true. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? It's exactly true. And the whole world knows it.

Mother of God. It's like arguing with my wife. Honey, are you watching the show? I don't think so. Biden canceled construction of the Keystone XL oil pipeline last year and attempted to halt new drilling permits on public land. You've got to have the permits and Saki comes out and just spreads

that bucket of lye. It's not true. Jennifer, how dare you all spank that little pale ass and make it red as the hair on your lips. Good night, everybody. Let's move on, shall we? Well, this doesn't sound very manly, Dallas. Pulling out is the headline. Pepsi-Cola, Coca-Cola, McDonald's,

and Starbucks each said Tuesday they are suspending business. Yeah, took you long enough. This isn't going on for two weeks. What you do, like Hillary does, you put your finger in the air. This looks bad. And let me tell you, Coca-Cola, you can do anything you want. You fucking moved the All-Star game out of Atlanta for no reason whatsoever. You're all fucking, you're all woke and you're part of the problem. You're all working with the government and that's why we're in the toilet. You're all for the New World Order.

The suspending business in Russia after the country's invasion of Ukraine. A symbolic move by four iconic U.S. brands, they say. McDonald's said, but we're going to keep the McRib. It's a huge hit in Moscow. Dallas just goes,

he grew up in Texas I think he knows barbecue put universal remote back in docking station yeah but you guys are still wiping your ass with your hands before you get over here

oops that's what we're going to do you and Gianna coming over every like Sunday night we're going to watch two episodes of Zipron. I'm telling you. Pepsi has sold its products in Russia, get this folks, for more than 60 years. Even when the company had to trade its soda concentrate, that's when you don't have the bubbles. For Stoli, still my favorite vodka.

I don't care what I... Stick your fucking Grey Goose and... Tito's ain't bad, but I like... Look, you're talking vodka, you go with the Russians, right? You're talking pizza, you go with the Guineas. You're talking Mexicans when you're talking domestic violence. Oh my God, I just thought of a good joke. The Mexicans, Mexican husbands are the only ones that give their mother, I mean, give their wife an enswell for the thing they put on the fighters. That was a good one. I'll be kicked off the air, I hope.

Anyways, they used to trade their concentrate for vodka in warships. Warships? Is that true? McDonald's opened its first location beyond the Iron Curtain in Moscow just months before the Soviet Union collapsed. Hmm. I like McNugget.

Please pass diet soda. In recent days, Pepsi, Coke, McDonald's, and Starbucks have drawn criticism for continuing to operate in Russia while other U.S. companies announced suspensions and paused sales. Yale professor Jeffrey Sonnenfeld compiled, I think my brother was yelling at this guy at the TV when I was talking to him yesterday. I think this is the guy he was quoting. He was on like CNBC, the business show.

My brother said some fucking very funny, nasty shit. Compiled and made public a list of U.S. companies that have withdrawn from Russia following Vladimir Putin's invasion and those that hadn't. So people could go, oh, look at these. Until Tuesday afternoon, Coke was among the most recognizable names on the spreadsheet. Of course. Our hearts are with the people who are enduring unconscionable effects

from these tragic events in Ukraine, Coke said in a brief statement. The same company that lied about Republicans passing laws so black people can't vote, that even black people fucking disagreed with, Tuesday afternoon, we will continue to monitor and assess the situation as circumstances evolve. Meanwhile, try our new zero code.

Who gives a fuck what you think? I agree, Kevin. Slip sliding away. Slip sliding away. Mmm. Yummy. Because she believes in me. I never know just what she sees in me. I never know just what she sees in me. I told her someday if she was my girl,

I could change the world about little dick jokes. I was wrong. Slip and slide. A female cruise ship. I can't believe Tommy threw this in here. I picture Tommy working on his new bar, restaurant, whatever, and just out of the corner of his eye going, man, that one's good enough. As he's fucking drywalling

or whatever the fuck. Actually, let me just give him prop. Did I mention this on the show? Yes, he had his grand opening. Did I talk about it on the show? Gets three times what he expected business-wise. Can't wait till that happens to me, Tom. Okay, you fucking kitty.

Slash check. A female cruise ship passenger was left high but not dry. So she smoked a joint, didn't get laid, is that what you mean? I don't, get like that! High but not dry after getting trapped on the attraction's massive water slide overlooking the ocean. I was hoping it was going to be a big fat broad so I could do a ton of fat jokes. No, it's a pretty hot chick in a bikini.

So I'm blaming the engineering. A video of her unorthodox stranding at sea currently boasts, do people like to see people in trouble? 15 million views. But a hospital bomb in Ukraine gets 200 views on TikTok. When the looping slide fails, reads the caption to the clip, very creative, which was uploaded Saturday by agent at whatever, YMG Travels. We have a couple videos of this

and I don't know why people still go on cruises, number one. I don't get it. I had to go on one for Comedy Central. Me, Patrice, and a couple other fucking comedians actually shot a commercial for comedy and there was an ice rink in there

where I skated on the boat. Isn't that crazy? And I fell and fucked up my shoulder. They were all nervous. You're not going to sue us. Then me and Patrice were in a hot tub exchanging racial while little kids were around. It was fucking great.

They're like, quiet. Patrice, what the fuck, man? But I found it very, it's a mall but floats. Yes, I know the idea you stop at an island, but even that sounds shitty. What, do you get about five hours and you're going to get back? Why is that fun? Anyways, let's take a look at this girl getting stuck in a fallopian tube.

Showed bikini-clad Paige Hodgson zooming confidently down the flume and making it all the way to the top before grinding to a sudden halt. After her first attempt, Miss Hodgson made another two tries to the delight of spectators each time reaching the peak and then falling backward. I would have saved her. I would have slid down there in my yellow Speedo. Here's the other one. um look at she stuck, she's going backwards. Now, what bothered me? Well, I'll let you guys see if you can guess. So that was fun.

They asked her if she had fun, and she said, well, my wheelchair doesn't work. But the maritime mishap reportedly occurred on Norwegian slowdown, Nick. Yeah, Norgens. Cruise lines. Ocean loops slide. A closed tube double loop ride that sends sliders plummeting from the top deck and shooting out over the sea before curving back to

base like a watery roller coaster. The independent... The clip starts off innocuously, as you saw. Enough with the unnamed female... What does it say? Enough? Oh, innocuously enough. I'm sorry. I can't blame the... I can't blame the teleprompter,

because we've moved, we've fixed that. It's about a foot from me. Now I'm just retarded. I'm exposed for being a bad reader. With the unnamed female rider sliding down the first two portions. Blah blah. Unfortunately, the slider doesn't seem to gain enough momentum. Yeah, blame her. Who wrote this? The lawyers for the ship?

To go through corkscrew and plunges backwards, whereupon she gets trapped in the transparent tube section of the attraction, suspended terrifyingly open. Terrifyingly? For the love of Christ. Yeah, what? Exactly.

It's not an ostrich egg you're in, you fuckhead. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. No, she ain't fat. Oh, you're talking to me? You're talking to me? The footage ends with a stranded ride seemingly trying to scoot back to the starting point while fellow passengers look on in shock. No, they didn't. You know some lawyer's going to grab this even though she's fine, right? And try to spin it into some type of horse shat. I

just found it funny on a cruise, big ship and there's pools there. Meanwhile, you're in an ocean. I don't know. Couldn't you put, I guess, sharks and shit and whatever. That makes it more fun. Hey, guys, once again, I'm going to tell you this one more time because I'm back on the road. Maybe you didn't hear. Maybe you don't watch the show every day.

You can find all my tour dates at DaveChapelle.org. At NickDip.com. March 25th, Hyenas Comedy Club in Dallas. The next night, the 26th, Hyenas Comedy Club in Fort Worth. Then April 7th through 9th, Comics at Mohegan Sun in Connecticut. Great gig. May 6th, Governor's Comedy Club in Levittown. One of my favorite haunts.

May 7th, the Paramount Theater in Peekskill, New York. September 9th, Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royersford, PA. The 10th Algonquin Theater in Mattisquan, New Jersey. And September 11th, the Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center, Chester, New York. Again, you can get all those links for tickets at nickdip.com. Just click on the old tour button. Right here, a great friend of mine from the Royals area.

Excuse me. I'm sick of putting a tie and shirt on. Is it alright if I do the show like this, folks? You can weigh in. I did that because I thought it's funnier because it makes me look more legit and then you hear the shit coming out of my mouth. This guy's wearing a tie?

Anyways, what's this headline? Violent colored kid. I don't know who writes this shit. I think Timmy, the kid we have in the back room. A Duncan employee in Tampa, Florida, accused of fatally punching a customer who used a racial slur, I don't buy it, against him last year, was sentenced, get this, the guy died, old white guy though,

so sentenced to two years of house arrest after pleading guilty to a felony battery. These blacks, who knows where they're going to take the wrong way. The worker, I got tons of questions about this. We had a woman. There was a story in the news. God, I already can't remember where she's from. God damn it.

Anyways, her son, she was from, I don't know, Florida, Virginia. Her son was up in New York at a bachelor party in Brooklyn. Went to wave down his Uber, which he thought it was Uber, he banged on the window or something. Black guy ends up punching him because it wasn't an Uber. He hits his head and dies. Guy knocks him out. So it was a basketball call, assistant call. So we had her on the show and I stayed in touch with her. I know when she reads something like this, I know this guy's an old guy, but he was a young, it was horrible.

And she was telling me how it was going court-wise. You wouldn't believe. It's just, the work of Corey Pujols, that's the black kid right there. Yeah. Why would you hire him in the first place? Oh, Nick, you can't say that. Yeah, I can.

You know why I can say that? Because Biden comes out and he's selecting the next Supreme Court and says, I'm picking a black woman. Outright discrimination. So I'm saying I wouldn't hire him because of the way he looks. I'm prejudging. You can't judge a book by its cover. Yeah, you can. As Louie said, that's why they have covers on them. Ever think of that? I wouldn't fucking hire this kid. Could be a nice guy. I could be wrong. But I'm saying you go woke McDonald.

The work of Corey Pohlholz, 27, was ordered by a Tampa judge on Monday to complete 200 hours of community service. Can you imagine? That's what a white life is worth. And attended anger management. A little late for that, motherfucker. Oy, oy, oy.

That's faggot stuff. I agree. You want a court by its name, that's strictly for fags. Yeah, I'm sure he hurries when an old white guy wants to be. Tampa Police said the incident occurred around 1.30 p.m. on May 4th

at Dunkin' Donuts location, 410 South 50th Street. According to court records, the customer, Varnell Cook, 77... Okay, let me reverse my thing. I'm pretty sure he said the N-word. I'm going to tell you something, boy. You get that

fillet of fish over here now. But here's my point. This is the latest trend. It started about five years ago where young black men do something horrible to a white person or somebody that's not black, and they say they call this a racial slur. There were two black kids on a high school football team

that fucking attacked the ref, like knocked them out and shit, and they said he called and said, there's no evidence of it, but that's the new thing, because the environment we live in, everybody's going to go. Must be right.

Anyways, Von Elkoop, look, okay, looks like Buddy Ebsen, who was white, 77, had gone through the drive-thru to order coffee and was angry over the lack of service, which I believe,

because they don't rush around for old white men for anything. I conclude myself that now. I'm an old white guy. Except Publix. Publix is the greatest supermarket in the history of, they'll help you at all, whatever. While in the drive-through Dunkin' Donuts employees had trouble hearing him, and he started to yell at them about poor service.

Poor service at a Dunkin' Donuts. Come on. Employees told Cook, a regular at the establishment. These guys are regular there. Let's kill them. To leave, but he parked his car, walked inside, and was aggressive and verbally abusive towards employees. I love that, too. It used to be, you know, and was in an argument.

Now it's verbally abusive. Like the other kid wasn't yelling back shit, whatever. My wife, you're verbally abusive. It's a joke, folks. Relax. Excuse me. I'm doing McGregor. And verbally abusive towards employees, prosecutors said, Excuse me. I'm doing McGregor.

And verbally abusive towards employees, prosecutors said, really? All he said was this. We partners. We brothers and we are friends. Now give me my carver. Excuse me. I swear, folks, it's the turkey sandwich. It was smoked.

Pool host asked a co-worker to call the police, leading to an argument between him and Cook. Fox 13, Tampa Bay reported. When pool host, who is black, asked Cook to leave, police said Cook called him a racial slur. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Let me ask you a question, police. How do you know? When that happens, they usually go, his word against your word.

I want, you gonna, audio? Audio? Do we have audio? Doesn't matter, he's gotta be, he's an all-white guy. He'll be dead soon. Pool host then walked around the counter and asked Cook not to call him that slur again. I'm sure he did. He went be dead soon. Pool host then walked around the counter and asked Cook not to call him that slur again. I'm sure he did. He went, Mr. Cook,

please, Mr. Cook, don't and again, folks, I don't care if he said the word or fucking not. You guys keep making this word out to be it has a life of its own. It's just a fucking word. Who said that? My black producer, Raz, on many stories. Yeah, it's a fucking ugly word. Who said that? My black producer, Raz, on many stories.

Yeah, it's a fucking ugly word. But like I said, if I'm going to fight, argue with a black guy, I'm going to use the ugliest shit I can, just like he is and anybody does. Anyways, he walked around the counter and told the old man, you know, please don't use that slur again. But when Cook did, Pujols punched him in the jaw because he's a 77-year-old white guy and he's a young black male who's prone to violence.

Cook fell and hit his head on the floor. Taken to the hospital where he died three days later. If you reverse the races on this, doesn't pass the litmus test, does it? Huh? Put the white kid behind that kind of old black man and he dies. I'm sure he'd just get house arrest. Suck my European ass.

An autopsy showed that he suffered a skull fracture and brain contusions and there was too much salt on his front trunks. Pujols had initially been charged with aggravated manslaughter following the incident. Prosecutors accepted a plea deal from Pujols, who agreed to plead guilty to the lesser charge of felony battery. Guy's dead.

Grayson Cam, a spokesman for Hillsborough State Attorney Andrew Warren, let's take a look at this big girl, said prosecutors in their decision considered the totality of the circumstances, which included Pujols' lack of criminal history, his youth,

and the fact that he did not intend to cause Cook's death. No. When you hit a 70-70, probably a sucker punch, even if it wasn't. This is a good chance the guy's going to fucking, No? When you hit a 70-70, probably you suck a pie, even if it wasn't. This is a good chance the guy's going to fucking... Two of the primary factors

were the aggressive approach the victim took. Now they focus on the victim and blame him toward the defendant and everyone working with the defendant, which is irrelevant,

and that the victim repeatedly used possibly, here it comes, here's the real reason, forget all that other shit, possibly the most aggressive and offensive term in the English language. And there you have it, from this liberal, he's a spokesman, really, that's so different than kike or spick. Oh, but the history behind. Shut the fuck up.

It's a word. Ay yi yi. Most offensive term in the language. Who took that boat? Anyways, look at this kid. Cook was a registered sex offender. All right. So why are we upset here?

If you're a 77-year-old white guy and you're a registered sex offender, you ain't gonna... I'm surprised this kid got any time at all. Did the society a favor? Nah, don't give a fuck. Sex offender or not. They did find two Cub Scout uniforms in this guy's car

and one of those gold handkerchiefs with shit on it. What? Well, it was tied in a knot. Why would you say that? I don't know. I'm trying to kill time till the show's over. What do you think of that? Okay.

I tell you. No kiss. I don't know. I'm trying to kill time until the show's over. What do you think of that? Cocaine. I tell you. No kiss. Let's move on, shall we? What a great show. Basketball bra. I got a basketball, Jones. I got a basketball, Jones.

If you're a Cheech and Chong fan, you know what that's from. One of their first albums. I played it, and it turns out they watch. They're right on the shit. I couldn't monetize that. So I would love to. Anyways, the brawl broke out in the stands Tuesday night, late in the NEC tournament title game in Smithfield, Rhode Island,

and that was only part of what made it an ugly evening for Wagner. There was also a beatdown on the court. The Seahawks trailed by 30 points late in the first half, and the night didn't get any better. Not only did they again fall short of reaching the NCAA tournament after being thoroughly outplayed by top-seeded Bryant in a 70-43 route. But also, the loss included an ugly fight. I watched it. I couldn't find any ugliness anywhere. But anyways, between the team's fans behind the Wagner bench late in the second half, we've all,

I was expecting to see, was it the Pistons that went up into the, huh? Yeah, I think it was. Now that was ugly. There was a white guy. I remember that one. There was a white guy sitting there. He had nothing to do with it. They thought he threw the One of the pistons fucking came up and started to smack him. Oh, made me laugh. Anyways.

Anyways, let's take a look at a few seconds of this, which to me was, I don't know, I've seen worse. Obviously, we have no clue how this happened or what's happening, but the main thing is now Bashir Mason is doing the right thing. I can tell by the haircuts. The concern in Will Martinez certainly has to come down. See the mess going on up front there?

Did not go up into the stands. Upper right. These players, their families are up there as well. Their parents, their brothers, their sisters, their relatives. See the mess going on up front there? Upper right. Oh, I think I found them. Look at this kid. Oh, I see the coach in it another, and it's just mayhem. All right. What are you getting upset about female students?

It's a college campus. Everything's inclusive. They were invading the safe space of the fans behind the back. You see the white kid dropped no shirt. I got a feeling he might have been involved. Now, from that clip, it didn't look like the players were really trying to get in there. I see a couple coaches in between. Google New York Rangers Boston Bruins Mike Milbury shoe.

Just put Mike Milbury fight in stands shoe, and you'll see an ugly incident when six Bruins climbed up at Madison Square Garden. Some guy threw something, one of the Bruins climbed up at Madison Square Garden. Some guy threw something at one of the Bruins. They went up with their skates on. One of the Bruins has a guy pinned down. Dallas, you ever see this? Mike Milbury, who's a tough defenseman, pulls the guy's shoe off and starts beating him over the head with a guy's shoe.

It went on for about 20 minutes. Now, that was ugly. And a little follow-up on the Mike Milbury incident. The Bruins practice in my hometown, Twin Rings, back in the... Anyways, a photographer showed up a couple days after the fight in New York, and he said, can I get a picture of you guys that were involved? So Milbury gets in there, Peter McNabb, O'Reilly, about five of them. So he takes them...

Bad day back. What was that? I'm going to pull it up. Oh, you're going to pull it up. Anyways, so the guy ended up being a lawyer, a photographer, the lawyer. He wanted a picture of all the defendants because it was a big lawsuit. Here's the fight between the Rangers. Now, this is what I call ugly.

Well, we've got a little thing going on here between Beaton and Secord. Oh, El Secord. The fans are now getting involved. Look at O'Reilly. Look at Terry. O'Reilly is out into the stands. And this is going to be something.

O'Reilly's into the stands fighting with a Here comes Winsink. 18. One of the biggest goons ever there is in there peter mcnab they're all into the stands going up to grab somebody look at this he's got the guy look at millbury now millbury gets the guy's shoe off right here and uh you gotta worry about a spectator well Well, the Bruins are at a decided disadvantage, Fred, with those skates, and somebody could get seriously hurt.

Now, that was hockey, folks. None of this, oh, two fights and you're gone. Now, that's ugly. Compare that to the faggy basketball fight. How funny was that, Dallas? I'm telling you. They were the fucking wild men. Mike Milbury was a hard-nosed defenseman.

And it's funny now because he does color commentary. I think they booted him from saying something politically incorrect. But he always had a chip on his shoulder, you know. But when he was doing color commentary, he'd go, that was an unnecessary hit. He would just play the game, you know, they got to get rid of that, take that out of hockey. Meanwhile, this fucking guy, John Wensink, number 18 for the Bruins, you saw him climbing up there. His claim to fame, he bit a guy's earlobe off in junior hockey up in Canada. And we had a guy, Stan Jonathan, who was Cherokee Indian, 5'8", like 205, who was the best fighter ever, maybe, in hockey. I think out of the three of them, they scored eight goals

in their career combined. Anyways, back to the faggy basketball fight. Seahawks guard, Will Martinez, who tried to reach the melee, was ejected. Oh, that's racist. Will Martinez, who tried to reach the melee, was ejected. Oh, that's racist. All right, get up! Yeah! After a 30-minute delay, the game resumed and finished without incident. With

2.6 seconds left, the officials stopped the game and allowed the Wagner contingent to leave the floor before Bryant fans stormed the court. That's P.U. Final story. Or is this? Yes, final story today, folks. Spatial facial. Now that was pretty good. NASA has finally said it will consider researching something that has tortured astronauts for decades, sex in space. The space agency, wow, yummy, delicious, and I'm talking about the guy. That girl's got those legs that I like.

The space agency has come under increased pressure to encourage a 62-mile high club. By the way, that's the year I was born. And embrace space sex research to ensure that humans can safely reproduce in outer space. Sounds like a crock of shat, right? That you hear, that was Buzz Aldrin in the capsule by himself. Academics argue it will be vital to ensuring a long-term human presence on other celestial bodies like Mars or the moon as the likes of Elon

Musk. Well the only question is you blow a load is it to float up? You know me before it's supposed to go where it's going you're aiming for a tits and it ends up on you. Yeah I think we should look over this. Academic Simon Dubé said, no research has explored intimate relationships. You know why? It's not that important, you big girl. Nor the human experience of sexual functions and well-being in space

or space analogs or how any of this can affect crew performance. Well, we know how it is. After the fucking astronaut blows his load, he's going to fall asleep at the wheel. Why is it any different up there? Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your ass. That's what you're going to hear from the capsule.

Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial, and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. That's what we get from the space capsule. Did you, Dallas, did you ever see American Psycho? Oh, okay. I forgot your movie. After years of dodging the question and forcing astronauts to keep their hands to themselves, NASA has finally said it's willing to conduct research into the subject.

NASA told Mike, we are primarily concerned with ensuring crew members' health and safety in space for long periods of time. Our human research program is working to mitigate the five hazards of human space fight, flight, space fight. Look at this thing. That's because they want sex, the space fight. That's an actual rocket. I found it in my wife's drawer by the bed.

Well, a replica. And researching ways to help crews work together and remain emotionally prepared during the, listen to all this goo-gobbling horseshit. Should a future need for more in-depth study on reproductive health and space be identified, Madonna has raised her hand to go up there with a bottle of Tang and a monkey. NASA would take the appropriate steps. However, it added, we are not currently seeking proposals or considering dedicated field or project office on this topic.

And they added, what's that got to do with the price of yen? You see him on Mars. Pluto, too. Covered in dust and baby goo. I like me dick. Anyway, that's the show, folks. Trying to keep it light while babies are being bombed in Ukraine, supposedly. I don't know.

The thing that sticks out to me the most is that Zelensky's still alive. That smells fishy to me. You know what I mean? I feel like he's the messenger. He's as valuable to Putin. I don't know. Who's with me? Anybody? Nick, you just smoked pot. No, I don't. That's it. Don't forget to sign up. Please sign up monthly.

I'll beg it one more time. Patreon.com TheComicsGym.com NickDip.com thecomicsgym.com nickdip.com for tour dates and merchandise cameo.com if you would like me to roast a friend or relative you go to cameo.com

click on my profile it'll explain how to do it I'll make a recording on my phone couple minutes of ball busting it'll be a lot of fun that's it you guys think it I will say it you're very welcome my teeth are brown from coffee. We'll see you tomorrow. Oh, wow, wow, wow Oh, wow, wow, wow Oh, wow, wow, wow Oh, wow, wow, wow

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