The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Helped Illegals Vote! | Nick Di Paolo Show #1718

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

In this episode Nick talks about Dem Criminal Behavior, a Dem Songbook, a Trump Snub, a Horse Ride, Pitbulls, a Hit & Run and a Mountaineer Vet! To watch FULL EPISODES and get ALL RUMBLE PREMIUM content AD FREE, join by clicking the link below, then the red RUMBLE PREMIUM button – enter Promo Code MUGCLUB and get $10 off an annual subscription! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow/exclusive FOLLOW ME ON TIKTOK! in the show description as well with this URL https://www.tiktok.com/@nickdipaolocomedy MERCH - https://shop.nickdip.com/ TOUR DATES AND MORE - https://nickdip.com 4/25/2025 - Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, NY 5/15-16/2025 - Zanies, Rosemont, IL SOCIALS -   https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Music playing Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves. For Christ's sake, it's Monday. Oh! Nowhere to start the week, you dink. How are you, folks? For Christ's sake, it's a Monday. Oh! No way to start the week, you dink. How are you folks? Hope you had a great weekend. I didn't. Anyways, back to the show.

I... Ah! We are waiting on Dallas' wife, who is, I mean, the kid's foot has been sticking out since last Wednesday. They put a sneaker on it. It's kind of cute. I had a bit about me going into a and the pregnant part was true as far as this bit. She wasn't like eight months pregnant but this stripper had a bump. It was in Sacramento. I still remember it.

Asian woman. I go there and the joke, she was like eight months pregnant, the kid's hand was sticking out grabbing dollar bills off the steak. Boy did that rip the kids off the crowd for a couple years. Anyhow, any hee-hee. What else? So we shot a bitch in kitchen yesterday and we did these Korean hot and spicy chick it might be You guys you'll all send me a dollar after you have this recipe it's the best I'm not making chicken wings any other way if I do they'll come in second place today. I'm just saying we nailed this one Damn there's no reason not to eat like a king anymore if you you're bored and there's nothing on TV, you go to YouTube and go, you know, whatever, pork chop recipe. And there'll be 18 of them, each one better than the next or whatever.

It's insane. And I do believe if you read, you can cook. I mean, no, it's totally true. There are some retarded people. Not my wife, but it's so funny. Her IQ's through the roof, we all know that, right? But when she in the kitchen, which it's about the only thing I do better than her, that and I give mean hummers. What? Cut! We got to come up with something.

You have to, I know we came up, we got to come up with something. Yeah, so it's, because like when she boils pasta, she doesn't boil it, she simmers it. Because she doesn't want the water to spill off. She simmers her pasta. I go, it's supposed to be a hard boil. Anyway, she goes, if I want to see hard boil, look at your ass. And I said, what? I ought to fucking whack you. That's about it.

Red Sox stinky poo poo. Poo poo stinky. Right now. I still, they're loaded, but nobody's hitting. We only have one. Anyways, you guys don't want to know. What else? Hockey. Bruins have one more game in the season. They actually won in Pittsburgh, guys. David Posenach's been the best hockey player on the planet since January 1st. He's not just, he's not, he's getting to this elite level now. He's going through, he's getting to this elite level now. He's going through people like he's playing with kids, whatever.

When was the, was that last week that Ovechkin, Jesus Christ, Nick. Just do the stories, okay. This first story, oh man, it made me angry, like what doesn't. When are the arrests coming is what I headlined it. This one is just if somebody doesn't go to jail soon, okay, I'm gonna fucking have a sit down with Trump. I'll say look I know you kid, you've been on the show, I plug this book, you owe me one.

And I talk to assholes. What are you talking about? You're an asshole, I'm an asshole. I'm the exact same kind of asshole as you without the brains or the power. Check out what the Democrats were doing under Biden for the four years that he was in there, again, whoever was handling him. Then tell me these fuckers shouldn't be rounded up and burned alive. Honestly, if there aren't some indictments going down, I am going to be appalled. This is shocking even for all the shit they've been doing. And remember, Biden was the one flying the Legals in at night and during the day, illegally flying them into our airports, letting them run free. Just think about that when you listen to this story. Ever since the election, Democrats have been trying to scare people into believing that Donald Trump and Elon Musk were coming for your Social Security, that they were coming for your Medicare,

your Medicaid. They aren't. None of it was ever true, and now we have the proof. According to the Department of Government Efficiency, DOGE, Elon Musk's team, has just discovered that immigration officials under Joe Biden were doing something that's never been done before. They were giving illegal aliens work authorization papers just five months after they filed for asylum. The Biden immigration department... Pause. Did you hear that?

Work authorization papers. Right after they came for asylum they gave them work it gets worse social security numbers they give and you're going what you know why folks just so they'll show they'd vote in that last elect it would then mail each illegal alien a social security number no questions asked no interview no background check and presto you've got yourself a brand new democratic voter. That's how they were doing it. No administration has ever done anything like it before, but clearly, Democrats had a plan all along. A plan that the media deliberately

never talked about. A plan that was considered the third rail, off limits to even mention in polite company. They were importing voters. we have an answer to that question so you want me to believe that Biden won fair and square that the time before go fuck yourselves whoever's watching that doesn't like this show are you kidding me you want me to believe those dickheads didn't steal the one Trump one he won two in a row. Now this makes three. That's... You can't tell me that they didn't... Um...

Anyways, go ahead. Now, and while they were doing that, they were telling you this. Well, there certainly is not an open border. The border is secure. But we also have a broken immigration system. The border is closed, The border is secure. I just want that really clear.

It would be wrong to think that the border is open. It is not open. It's wrong to have you behind a fucking pony in your whore. Lying to the American public and now we have the proof. Clean it up, Mick. According to the Social Security Administration, the crime started immediately after Joe Biden took office in 2021. 270,000 illegals were given social security numbers.

That's about the population of Hartford, Connecticut. Yeah, but what about the cities? That will grow a year later to 590,000 illegals getting social security numbers. That's big as what? About the size of Cincinnati, Ohio. Thank you. A year later, 2023, 964,000 illegals got social security numbers about the size of San Francisco.

And in Joeiden's final year in office on his way out the door that number skyrocketed to just over two million illegal aliens getting social security numbers roughly the size of our third biggest city chicago yeah how about that folks how about that why do you put steve b, well we got Kash Patel but he's busy keeping us from getting murdered and and and but why do you put Steve Bannon on it or somebody? Why don't and why I don't even know what do you know what I don't know what channel that was. Obviously you know I was like it must be one new one American news or one of those I don't I don't it doesn't matter.

I didn't see it anywhere else. I mean I found that clip on the internet but that's a TV show. I didn't see any of this. I don't really you know I don't know if Fox covered it a little bit. Not even Fox. I don't even think Fox touched it because even they know the people are going to go so what because oh you're politicians you can do whatever the fuck you want I mean I know

Trump maybe doesn't have time to prosecute all this shit maybe you know I mean but what the fuck what the fuck sorry for the French god I have to feel guilty about saying fuck am I on show I'm on the goddamn internet this isn't Disney yeah your kids stink. What does that mean? I don't know. But that shocked me, even for today's standards. Unbelievable. Let's move on.

Con artist, singing from the same, that's plural, con artists, from the same songbook. Watch all the jerk off Democrats getting their talking points, I'm guessing from Soros and whoever else. Watch them spread the poison in unison. This is what happens. They get a, you know, and I'm guessing Soros, all the big money people on the left and politicians go here. This is what we want you to do. And I mean, this has been going on forever, but they all sing from the same notes they get I

Saw fucking Seth Meyers show for like a second the other night Those guys give me chills like he's not again. He's a late-night guy pretending Pretending he's a late night show and he's doing a thing shitting on Trump still it couldn't been more irrelevant Jimmy Kimmel makes my hair stand up and fucking and forget Colbert. He's like a they are spokesmen Hiding under the guise of entertainment. That's all they are Hey have a few guests on put the flavor of the month actors on have a fucking trumpet player on that way They'll think they're watching entertainment. It's fucking creepy Anyways, what's this about them Them all singing from the same notebook.

We begin this hour with the chaos. The average American sees chaos. The American people see chaos. It's total chaos. You brought chaos. It's just... I have wet dreams about running into Swalwell and fucking... Same with Seth Meyers. I literally have dreams about fucking running to them in New York. And I'm not gonna pull out what they did to the healthcare guy, but it's gonna be something like that.

I won't kill him. Just, I don't know. Trying to think. I'll carry around one of those green dumbbells that only the girls use, it's like 10 pounds. And just fucking bash them off the back of the head. So they're unconscious. I'm not promoting violence, just, it's a dream I had, okay?

Let's put it that way. Here's another dumb J. This broad, she should be home baking cookies with her retarded kids. Go ahead, clobuchar. Complete chaos. Unleashed an economic chaos. Unleashed chaos. They are creating chaos they unleash chaos they are creating chaos this chaos total chaos that amidst the chaos gonna see chaos after seeing all the chaos the chaos is unleashed on America continue to see

the chaos economic chaos a lot more chaos Trump's chaos this is chaos which such chaos the chaos because of this chaos chaos of is chaos which such chaos chaos because of this chaos chaos of this chaos on third yeah given all that chaos when it's chaos all the chaos chaos and confusion girl it's more chaos dysfunction and I can't think what's Watch your fat fucking mouth exactly watch your mouth. I Miss him so much You probably guys already know that but but how much more proof do you need to know that the fucking and and they have the Nerve to say stuff like conservative news Like Fox is conservative. Nick Napolit is a conservative comedian. No, I'm not actually. I'm a comedian who happens

to lean right in my politics. Not even close to conservative. I don't know where I stand on God. Abortions. I don't have a dog in that fight either, but you know, I know there's too many of them going on, but it's so funny, huh? Like I said, this, again, I don't call this show business anymore, but when we used to sit at the Comedy Cellar table, and I was, when anybody would interview me, I'd go, if you're in show business, you know, I have one foot in show business, if you lean right of a hundred and fifty issues you're a Nazi to them anyways let's move on before I punch myself on the side of the face this was beautiful this was so beautiful even though I like Cheryl Hines Trump was at UFC once again this weekend 314 I believe it was. Volkanov

versus fucking what was his name Hispanic kid long hair. He looks like Patrick Swayze. And he's a Diego whatever the fucking McGee. I don't know. Diego Sanchez. God my mind is shot. anyways it was a great fight this kids a young and up-and-comer just to fill you guys in I don't know why people aren't my friends surprised me that this on a Saturday night it's the if you like boxing this is 40 times better it's brutal brutal anyways why am I bringing that up because Trump showed up there? And by the way all the fighters after they get them fighting they jump over the fence to shake Trump's hand

Of course He gets a huge ovation and I saw like on the internet they show him there. Meanwhile, Bernie Sanders is that Coachella doing some fucking communist speech in front of a bunch of broads who don't douche and like base. So anyway, so he walks into the arena. Place is going nuts. President has previously, I said he snubbed bigly. President has previously faced criticism from H Heinz who was public about her opposition to his candidacy but the dick it's a thing now when Kennedy made the leap of

Endorsing then former president during he's she's married to RFK jr. Okay, you know from curb your enthusiasm She's very beautiful woman. I think It was so funny to me that Larry David, that was supposed to be his wife. I never got that. Anyways, Heinz was adamant she would only support her hubby, not Trump. When he agreed to join Trump, President Donald Trump appeared to snub her, the wife of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., as he walked into the ring Saturday night. Video captured the commander in chief as he received a raucous welcome at the

quesadilla center, I mean, quesilla center in Miami, which was much warmer than the one he gave the high-profile spouse of his cabinet secretary, meaning her. Check, check, uh, and this is no doubt, I guess later on they said he was seen talking to her and shit but and they're going I wonder if that was intentional what are you dog styling me he looked in her eye for like 10 seconds before he walked by her he made sure everybody knows it was a snub That's Donald Trump and that's me Go ahead Now a tense moment unfolded

President Trump appeared to make up for the apparent snub later on seen holding Heinz hand. Once again, pussy always wins out as he spoke to her and RFK jr. according to photo circulating online the president I would have grabbed R.F.K. Jr.'s hand and then sniffed it. Delicious. The President has previously faced criticism for Hines, who was public about her opposition to his candidacy when Kennedy made the leap of endorsing then former President, the 2024 President-Elect Hines was adamant. I already said that,

stupid. Why'd I put that in there again? Let's move the hell on, shall we? Dallas is tonight. The kids coming tonight. She's started her contractions. There's just pre-labor. Can you get some footage? Nothing exciting. Bullshit. Maybe not for you. Just every time I say something mildly, honestly just jot down the time and then we'll pick from there. It was too short a week last week. Let me get this out of the way before I go any further. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and everything in between and some really retarded sheep, I'll be doing stand up at Cahoe's Music Hall.

What's the date today Dallas? 15th? 14th? 11 days from now, Cahoe's Music Hall, upstate New York, beautiful theater. And then May 15 and 16 I'll be at Zanies in Rosemont, Illinois, and I love that room very, very much. For all of you guys, excuse me, that love TikTok, is this in the teleprompter?

No, okay. For all of you guys that love TikTok, I have great news for you. It just got better, because I have an accountant and will be posting content there That you won't find on my Instagram and Facebook So open the TikTok app order a sandwich and two whores no And before you start scrolling through the clips of like I said ducks

Directing traffic and squirrels water skiing and all that shit that really doesn't happen High school girls and bikinis throwing pudding at each other. Type in at Nick DePaulo comedy and hit follow and I'll be commenting on some clips. I'll be commenting them as I'm watching them. That's the big thing. I'm so tired of folks you don't understand I would quit tomorrow. 60 fucking 3, okay? I don't give a fuck anymore about Snapchat. Snapchat?

Also, you can watch full episodes of my show and Lotto with Crowder. And all exclusive Rumble content ad free with just one subscription. So join Rumble premium and put in the promo code mug club. That's one word to get $10 off your annual subscription. Do it. You'll be glad you did. And then you can have some Korean chicken wings. Hi, good night everybody. I'm gonna be a man Wow! I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall

I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall I'm gonna be the one to fall Thanks for watching!