The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Holds Séance | Nick Di Paolo Show #1281

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Naples becomes Venice. Rubber on a mic. Biden calls on dead congresswoman. Virgin EXTREMELY woke. Man pisses on ex-wife's grave. New Zealand PM: free speech, "weapon".

For all my fans down in Florida, I'm thinking of you guys and I hope you're safe. I'll be down there in about six weeks to cheer you guys up with some live stand-up. It'll probably be open air. I'm thinking of the roof. I don't know. But in the meantime, seriously, take care of yourselves and take care of each other. And you know what? Fuck Joe Biden. And now, here's Nick! I forgot, I went a little early with the drum. I'm sorry about that, Ed. Here's Dick! It's a true story, too. He ate a rat. He had one fear in life. He said it was rats. And when he was in the cell for Watergate, he killed and cooked a rat to get over his fear of it.

That was in his book. I was like,. And we got this little horse, Shirley Jones, from the Partridge family. She turned me on before I had hair on my pencil. And finally, we've got a great musician. I think he's the only one that has a playing instrument from the Monkees. Mike Nesmith is here tonight. The guy with a dumb winter hat on all the time. Do you know what else he's famous for? Do you know what his mother's famous for, Dallas? Mike Nesmith.

Invented whiteout. Yep. Guessing filthy rich. Hope they weren't depending on his fucking musical career for money. All right, folks, let's get real quick. I'll give you what's as far as the weather in Florida. And I got a brother and a sister who have houses in Naples. And I said, you should change the name of it to fucking Venice. You get it? Anyway, historic Hurricane Ian has already

killed hundreds of people in Florida. That means less lines at Publix. What? That's stupid. A sheriff in the hardest hit region revealed earlier. But the death toll is expected to swell as floridians wake up to assess the true extent of the destruction in daylight that's what's creepy once this thing gets out of there and it look it literally looks like an a-bomb it's that's not no fucking uh this is life-changing event for all of us lee county sheriff camille marcino told good morning america why would you go on that stupid show i don don't have confirmed numbers. I definitely know the fatalities are in the hundreds. So far confirmed in the hundreds, he said, not that conditions were too dire for his officers. Noting, I'm sorry, that his conditions were too dire for his officers and other rescuers to get

a true sense of the disaster. There are thousands of people that are waiting to be rescued. Thousands. What do you do there? And again, cannot get a true assessment until we're actually on scene assessing each scene. And we can't access people. That's the problem. The Sheriff 1, the rescue crews are going to see things they've never seen before, as he noted in the masses of drownings. That's bodies floating around is what he's talking about.

Wow. Lee County Manager Roger, Jesus Christ, Roger D. Anybody from here? Fucking desk child. I can't think now has said late wednesday that the storm was too strong for officials to properly survey the damage we are beginning to get a sense that our community has been in some respects decimated anyways i just wanted to give you a update on that and we have some footage yesterday that i pulled off the internet um first thing I saw was a dog being rescued from a sailboat. By the way, I'm playing down here in about, you know, what, the middle of November in somewhere in these areas, like snappers. It's now a convertible. I hope not. Dog rescued from sailboat in Fort Myers. This guy went back and got a cat too. I thought I'd show this to try to

lighten the fucking mood a little. That's the guy, not the dog. Cold water and it's nuts. Was that his dog or just somebody? Saved a cat, too. Good for you. Don't take no shit off nobody, Spider.

As Hurricane Ian was pounding Florida's southwest coast, firefighters were having a tough time getting to their equipment. Video shows Naples firefighters wading through pretty deep flood water at a fire station in downtown Naples. The whole world lives in Naples. Honest to God, fucking anybody I know that's done well. I mean, there's so many people. And I said, like, my brother, I was just talking to him on the phone. He's an Ohio golfer right now, checking in on his, you know, he's got the thing

hooked up to his modem so he can check the temperature in the house. So he doesn't even know yet if he's got flood damage or whatever. Anyways, he dodged a bullet last year somehow. Check out this footage from the Naples firehouse. That's a fire truck, by the way. What the hell's going on out here? Are you shitting me? So when they say, you know, they're not in a position to rescue people, they're not making it up,

the city of Naples has issued an emergency citywide curfew to protect and safeguard the health, safety, and welfare of city of Naples residents, visitors, and first responders. And I guarantee you there won't be any loading. You know why? I'm not going to say. The curfew is effective immediately until further notice. What a... Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. Why? I didn't cause this shit. What's he getting mouthy with me for, you motherfucker? Downtown, look at that.

I mean, Gilligan thought he had it tough. Look at the mess. Those are streets under there, folks. Do you understand that? This isn't like Venice, Italy. All those trees leaning right. I love it. What?

Nick, can you leave the politics out of it? No. They don't. Oh, MSNBC? These fucking unbelievable. And CNN? Bringing politics right into it. Oh, my God.

I can't even. Anyways. The other thing I liked. When you're in Florida Florida you realize every chick is hot pretty much I don't care if it's a Gardner a goddamn tall booth there's a lot of I might be exaggerating a little but definitely The anchor women on the note. That's true like almost every place except Naturally here in Savannah. The NBC

affiliate, which is about a mile from my house, is all you can't get a job. I want to do an investigation. You can't get a job there unless you're gay. I swear on my mother's eyes. There's a black woman, the only one who I think might be straight, but even she could be an

outside linebacker in Nebraska. She seems straight, but the rest of them, outside linebacker, Nebraska. She seems straight, but the rest of them, the sports guy, oh my, it's the weather guy. There's gotta be all kinds of dirty things going on behind that desk. Nick, why do you say that? I don't know. But anyways, back to the girl reporters in Florida. You know, you guys know what I'm talking about. What's the story here? Put a rubber on, Mike. You'll get it when you see it. A Florida reporter, these fucking, it's the lights, man. Don't pause.

Let it fly. A Florida reporter captured viewers' attention Wednesday when the condom on her microphone, is this how, am I just horny and shit? This made me fucking excited. Why? Flashed on the screen during an outdoor hurricane broadcast. NBC2's

Kyla Gaylor was reporting on Hurricane Ian's landfall from a parking lot in Fort Myers, Florida when viewers became, hope she comes to the show, became distracted by the bulbous rubber casing on, the guy helps to story the language, on her microphone. Let's, yay for her. There's a horny little girl doing a nose. Check it out. Check it out. A lot of people are asking, what is on my microphone? It is what you think it is.

It's a condom. It helps protect the gear. We can't get these mics wet. There's a lot of wind. There's a lot of rain. So we got to do what we got to do, and that is put a condom on the microphone. Pause. Look it.

She hauls it. You don't think every guy in America is going, that's a big black dick? That could be Terrell Suggs, my favorite. Why does that turn me on? I love red nails and a hand around a dick. Sure, that's a mic, but I have an imagination. And she's, you know, fucking little sugar pup. You shouldn't be watching the weather in a hurricane,

people dying with a thing of wet fucking naps next to you. Something wrong with that. Yeah, if you say so. Gayla's colleague, ABC7's Jeff Butera, then shared his own pictures of Gayla's microphone up close. Any, do we have any? No, it's all right. That one was good enough.

But Nick, you know what, Nick? You got to grow up. No, I don't. You're not a kid anymore. You hear me? You got to grow up. Says who? She's the one who put the condom on the mic and stick it in my face.

The funny exchange comes, no pun intended, amid worsening conditions in Florida's west coast as Hurricane Ian ravages Naples with record-breaking storm surges and winds of 100 miles per hour plus. With extreme wind warnings issued for the Fort Myers area, experts are warning residents of surges of up to 18 feet. That's her there. Speaking of surges. Danger. That's her there. Speaking of surges. Speaking of surges. Exactly.

I got about a five-foot surge right now. It's all blood. It's heading south. People, get out of there. So that's her, huh? I thought, I was hoping it was another one. They were talking to each other. I didn't hear a word she said.

Same way when I watch Fox News. Anyways, guys, make sure to join me on Patreon to get the exclusive encore episode. Today, I'm going to be talking about, I don't even know how to describe it. It's a guy who, it's trans turned into a woman and now a dragon. And I mean literally had surgery. This has me mentally so bad that the son disowned his mother slash father slash whatever. Boy, boy. Imagine looking back on this time if the planet's still here. What's going on in America then?

So you people who are monthly subscribers will get get that should be a lot of fun. You'll also get access to all the past shows, including every Encore show, discounts of merchandise and more. Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo show to sign up today. Thank you so much. Biden, you see Joe Biden yesterday? The guy that stole the

election a few years ago that has no business even being in politics? He held his own seance. It's the only way I can put it yesterday. President, boy, this was a fucking... And Jill, I don't know what you're thinking. If you love your... What you don't? You're a power-hungry whore who thinks she's a doctor. Let me kill this phone. It's my gynecologist. All right. President Joe Biden on Wednesday asked if a congresswoman who died last month,

not last year or three years ago, last month, he actually lowered the thing to half-snap, the flag. Asked if a congressman who died last month was present at a White House food insecurity conference. Just the title of that. What is it, a Twinkie who doesn't? I'm not even, you know, I can't even match up with an eclair. I mean, look at the figure on that. Get the fuck out.

What is that about? Food insecurity. Bunch of grapes going, Jesus, everybody's buying the strawberries. What's wrong with me? At the event, the White House's first hunger conference since not, is anybody hungry in this country, number one? Or are we worried about the world now? As steak goes up to 98 bucks a pound here, you fudge-a-la-gotcha.

The hunger harvests since 1969. It's the first I've heard of it. Biden took a moment during his remarks to credit a list of bipartisan elected officials. All of the officials he listed were behind a bill establishing Wednesday's conference. And it's so, he's going to list them, and then he's going to ask for this woman, Jackie, who was killed, by the way. We might have mentioned her on the show a couple months ago. She was killed in a van going to a press conference with two of her young aides with her.

And his dinkweed proving he's out of his fucking mind. I want to thank all of you here for including bipartisan elected officials like the governor of government, Senator Braun, Senator Booker, Representative Jackie. Are you here? Where's Jackie? I didn't think she was going to be here.

She's dead! Somebody should have yelled, she's fucking dead, Joe! And of all the people for him to ask for, the list that he goes down, it's her dead, Joe! And of all the people for him to ask for, of the list that he goes down, it's her. Yeah, which makes me wonder. Is Jackie here? Jackie, Jackie, you here?

Jackie? Jackie? Here's how his press secretary handled it. You want to? This enraged me more than, Joe's out of his mind. He has no mind left. It's mean that his wife actually sits there and watches him be put through this.

But this little scruffy thing has, seriously, I could go up tomorrow. I'm not shitting you. I could read the newspaper in the morning, go up and pretend I'm a Democrat and deflect questions better than this little ragamuffin who is less qualified to do what she's doing than Biden is to be president. This poor thing is useless. She is a product that, I'm just going to say affirmative action. She's there because she's black and gay.

And boy, does it show when you don't hire on merits. We all used to make fun of Jen Psaki, but you know what? She was pretty goddamn good trying to defend Joe Biden. That would be the most difficult job, the shit that comes out of his fucking yap. But this broad stinks at it. She makes phrases up like top of mind. Listen to the report, the guy who looks like, the first guy to ask the question, looks like James Dean, you're going to laugh. And he goes, I'm trying to get my head around this. That's how you know when it's bad.

She just said something that he's trying to get his head around. That's a nice way of saying, are you fucking crazy? Go ahead. I'm trying to get my head around the response. If the late congresswoman was top of mind for the president and her family was expected to be here... Pause! Look at the guy to his left behind him.

Look at that hairdo. Blow it up again. Watch. And the guy to the right. What is this, a fucking waiting room at a cancer hospital? And he's James Dean. Hair for men. Yeah, and he's got perfect hair. Oh my God, he's holding a wig in his hand.

Look. Hey, this blew up from Venice. This blew up the coast. It looks like he's holding a woman's head. Oh my God. I mean, this blew up the coast. I found it. It looks like he's holding a woman's head. Oh my God. I didn't realize it was the guy on the left is killing me. Oh, the poor prick. He's going, you know, if I leave this and it looks like a stripper's pussy, like a stripper in her nineties going through chemo, I still might get laid. I want that whole thing played as the clip. I want every comment in there, Della.

You can take that part out, but go ahead. What was he looking for? I'm not trying to be snarky here. No, I mean, and I'm... You're saying what he said there. And again, I think people can understand. I think the American people out there who, you know, watch the briefing from time to time,

maybe at this moment, will understand. Did you hear all that right there? That's all killing time. The people who watch you know, watch the briefing from time to time, maybe at this moment, will understand. Did you hear all that right there? That's all killing time. The people who watch the briefing, I think they can understand. She's trying to fill time. I know, I'm a bullshitter, folks. We've all done high school papers.

We've all done high school papers. Here's an essay. Fucking Teddy Bergeron had the best bit on that. Ah, the Indian War was much like the American War and the Korean War. He goes, I didn't bring a pencil, I brought a shovel. Listen to her trying to make this shit up. Go ahead. And when someone is at top of mind.

Top of mind. Pause. Top of mind. Have you guys ever heard that phrase before? When someone is at top of mind have you guys ever heard that phrase before when someone is the top of my what was she what she was trying to say um that's who he had on his mind that's what she means top of mind she's making phrases up i i feel bad for her because even with a lot of smarts if you're good at that it'll be hard to defend what comes out of this White House.

But she has no business being there. She sucks at this. I'd trade her for two spokesmen to be named later and $11. Go ahead. This was such an important event when we're talking about hunger, when we're talking about food insecurity, such an important event when we're talking about hunger, when we're talking about food insecurity, when we're talking about these champions, these congressional champions who were in the room, who have worked in a bipartisan way. We don't talk much about bipartisan actions that we see in Congress at this time. And as he was naming folks, she was on top of

mind and he understands and knew that he was going to see her family on Friday. Now, if there was any objectivity in that room, the next person would go, can you explain the phrase top of mind? Maybe I'm dumb, but I had never heard it. You mean that was on the top of mind the, you know, top of mind. It might be a phrase. I don't care. It sounds stupid. Get rid of it.

Yeah. Bunch of people on his mind. She was at the top. Is that what you mean? Ragamuffin? You fucking silly bitch. Oh, my God. That's what you're looking at.

The face of whatever, political correctness. Steve Portnoy of CBS News Radio, the third reporter to raise the topic after ABC's three people to raise the topic, Cecilia Vega and CNN's Phil Mattingly, asked Jean-Pierre, was the president confused? Was something written in the teleprompter that he didn't recognize? And of course, you got this one right. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that

sick that I'm going to answer. How awesome would it be to have Joe Pesci as his press secretary? No! Yes! What, are you shitting me? I was going to say, if she said that, if that was her answer, if that was her answer, it would be more credible than what she said. If she said, that's a sick fuck, and you're a sick fuck.

I swear to God, that's more credible than what she just came out of her. Somebody should say to her, listen, like Jen Psaki, somebody should go, when you're caught, when the president does something and he's dead to rights, don't try to weasel out of it. She could have just said, you know what, he had a mental lapse or whatever. From time to time, we know he has memory problems. I mean, that would have shut everybody up. But to go, it's so important. It was about insecure foods, you know, grapes that don't have big tits. And you stupid fuck.

Another JFK haircut. What? Let me just say this about his memory lapse. I'm trying to find out what happened here. The Portnoy added. He's a reporter. You're jumping to a lot of conclusions. If that had been the case, I would have stated that,

Jean-Pierre the Lying Ragamuffin said. What I said was that she was on top of mind. That's Jackie, by the way, who looks a lot like Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. I don't mean to make fun of poor Jackie, but that's Dustin Hoffman. No, shut up! I don't mean to make fun of poor Jackie, but that's Dustin Hoffman. I can't help myself.

Portnoy followed up asking Jean-Pierre if the White House would release Biden's prepared script so people could understand. And they said, we don't have a translator from that planet. How the error occurred. See, they're pressing on her because she made such an act. Judd had just admitted, hey, he had, you know, he forgot. That's all you had to say. But they're so conditioned to lie and to bullshit. It's a reflex of, you know, the press secretary answered that she didn't understand what that has to do with anything.

I've got a story coming up later that might be the favorite one since I started this show. I can't help it. It's a guy that fucking got divorced, I don't know, 40 years ago, and he still pisses and leaves. I can't even. It's so precious.

Don't spoil it. Yeah, spoiler alert. I don't want to give it away. Give it away now. Let's move on from that bullshit. I can't even take it no more. I swear to God, I'm not making this up. I've never had high blood pressure, and I told you.

The last couple of years, it's been a little high since jerk-off got in office. Joe List texted me. He goes, you're going to die. This was years ago. He goes, you better calm down. No, I'm coming, calm down. I said, who the fuck are you talking to? Anyways, coffee or teabagging or me, Virgin Atlantic, boy, these are some good ones today, will

apparently allow male workers to sport skirts. Yeah. Please give me skirts. The airline announced on Wednesday that it has updated its gender identity policy to allow people to wear whichever of the company's uniforms that they prefer. They're on the edge. This is their values. They're on the edge of wokeness. They brag they're the most woke company, which to me, eventually it's going to blow up in your face. We finally get stewardesses. They used to be smoking hot.

You guys not my age don't realize that. You couldn't be a flight attendant unless you were anything under a seven. You wouldn't get in. We had standards. Then, you know, fat chicks and, you know, flight attendants today, if you ask for peanuts, they eat them on the way down the aisle. Big fucking trunk. They all look like John Madden in a fucking, they're just disgusting, bitter.

Brett Favre. Yeah. Brett, they look, there you go. They look like Brett Favre. And the fucking, or black gay guys, which I get along with great when I get on the plane. I go, maybe, I've never been a mile high club. Maybe you can suck my dick. Here, put my bags up there. And they go, that's racist. I said,

you're a fag. How's it racist? Then we get into a gender. Anyways, this is their commercial, which is hilarious. What do you think they spent? And you know they called in a director from Broadway, fucking Bob Fosse or whoever to direct this?

Who puts this effort into a mini musical? And you guys, I told you they're very slick when they do shit. It's about, what, 10, 15 seconds, you'll see women there. But there's clearly a guy that looks like me almost when I was young in a fucking skirt. Go ahead. Why would this make me want to take your airline? Well, her. Then you ruin it with it.

What's that? Yeah, there you go. That's what I want. Fucking Grace Jones. Get me a Diet Coke. I'm gayer than a rain bubble, and I like it that fucking way I'm gay, I'm really gay, I'm truly very gay Now I'm curious though, if somebody identifies as Ricky Vaughn, are they allowed to cut the sleeves of the uniform? I wish I knew what that meant

The wild, Ricky the wild man Vaughn from Major League. Wow. I don't know, you reference that like it was Vito Corleone. I mean, it was a big movie, I guess. Yeah, that's a good question, I guess. I don't know. And then you got a broad with a pretty face who's only straight when they cover it with a mask.

Do you fucking believe the effort they put into that? That horse shit? Does that make you guys want to fly the thing or go? I don't know. I get a feeling if I took more than a two-hour flight on that, I'd be charged with a hate crime coming off the plane. What'd he do? I teabagged him.

He was looking at him. The woke company will also hold mandatory, listen to this. This is where it gets very Stalin-ish. Mandatory inclusivity training. Mandatory. That's just what the Russians used to call a political rehabilitation.

Do you fucking believe it? Mandatory inclusivity training. And give workers and customers the option to wear pronoun badges. The announcement is part of an ongoing drive to champion the individuality. Again, let me explain it to you. Individuality is what Marxists and socialists use to break us apart. That's why the nuclear family is the enemy of Marxism and shit. As long as you're in groups and you can, you understand?

But if we're all individuals, we're easy to control. Radical individualism, that's been going on, but they've been stressing that. That's how, you know what I mean? That's why when your daughter comes home from college

and she's got three rings in her tits and whatever, she's a lizard forehead tattoo and you want nothing to rings in her tits and whatever. She's a lizard forehead tattoo and you want nothing to do with her. It's individuality. It's how they break up the family. You guys can laugh at that all you want. No, read your books. I'm not the best at explaining, but it makes perfect sense. Here's a book for you that turned me into a monster in a good way. In a good way. Judge Bork, Robert Bork, who's dead now.

His book was called Slouching Towards Gomorrah. I read that about 30 years ago. We're past Gomorrah now. Anyway. Anyways, drive to champion the individuality of its people and customers. And is complimented by, nothing about, we're going to get you there safely. Best pilots ever no we're gonna make sure your fucking head flight attendant looks like fred gwynn in a fucking micro skirt you

motherless fucks and is complimented by the rollout of optional pronoun badges for all its people and those traveling with the keep talking i'm gonna stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? Do you really think? Listen to this. This move, pronoun pins, enables everyone to clearly communicate and be addressed by their pronouns. The badges will be available to teams and customers from today, and customers simply need to ask for their preferred badge

at the check-in desk or in the Virgin Atlantic Clubhouse where you can get cornholed the press release. You've got to be fucking mad. How's that for a pronoun? You really think this whole pronoun thing's got me fucking laughing? You people who are confused about your sexuality or bought into this shit, you really think you can make me address you? What are you, my sergeant? You people who are confused about your sexuality or bought into this shit, you really think you can make me address you? What are you, my sergeant?

I'm going to salute you later? And you don't go, hey, he. Hey, they. Again, unless they're really fat. They, when you're obese, I've said this many times, they goes good. But would this make you want to fly an airline? Because they're cutting, they haven't mentioned on-time arrivals. We'll make sure the flight attendant has both, a clit and a dick, you know,

because that's mandatory inclusivity. What if the pilot identifies as a fucking ISIS guy that day? Mandatory inclusivity training will also be rolled out for its people at all levels across Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Atlantic holidays, as well as a series of inclusivity learning initiatives for tourism partners and hotels. Imagine you're working at the fucking Marriott on whatever, St. Bart's, and they're like, yeah, you have to, Virgin Atlantic wants you to learn these rules in case half a fan comes in. Within destinations such as the Caribbean to ensure all of our customers feel welcome, despite barriers to LGBTQ+.

What barriers? Yeah, exactly. What, dental dams when you're trying to? Yeah! Thank you. What barriers? Exactly. Did somebody block the fucking,

somebody block the glory hole at the fucking Red Roof Inn in Miami? What? What a world. Hey, guys. We go from that to this. Hey, guys. I feel like Mike Lindell.

Now he's got slippers, apparently, that are the greatest on the planet. My tour. Hey, guys. Make plans to come and see me on the road. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel. Again, this is barring weather.

Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. Saturday, the next night, November 12th, Snappers Comedy Club, Fort Myers. I hope they still have a club there. I'm being serious. Sunday, November 13th, the next night, Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa. And as you guys know, the Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A

after the show with VIP ticket holders holders so grab them before they're all gone you can get tickets to see all these shows at nickdip.com let's move on shall we this is might be my favorite story it made me laugh I couldn't get through it I fucking I why do I find this shit funny? Well, because you, people are horrible, that's why. And some people aren't afraid to show how horrible. Colin Quinn used to do a bit about how, it's one of my favorite, how people, especially when they're in groups, if we're really petty and you're very defensive and you don't like other people,

he'd do a bit about his aunt dying in a hospital. She's like on her deathbed like the day before. And she goes, that chair they're trying to use, that's ours, pull it over here. Just a little slice of, oh, the ex-husband, listen to this. Boy, this guy made me laugh. The ex-husband of a deceased woman was caught on video urinating on her grave.

The woman's family told News 12, Now, you'd be going, well, you know, big deal. But you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't understand. This is her ex. This is his ex-wife from like 40 years ago. This didn't happen a year ago, a month ago. How fucking angry.

Annie's married. He makes his current wife watch, sit in the car and watch this. How cool is she? She's like, yeah,

fucking water that bitch. The couple has been divorced for over 40 years. What the fuck? Over 40 years. We got videotape. This is a guy telling the story, which just made me laugh, too. Go ahead.

The camera, the family set up to see who was coming here to leave bags of feces and urinate on this grave. The family says that they shared the video with police that showed a man urinating on the grave here at the Tappan Reform Church Cemetery. The family says they believe it's the ex-husband of the woman buried here. Their daughter, Renee Berrigan, told me that they started to find bags of feces at the grave as early as April. At first, she thought it was trash, but then noticed that the feces was being left here regularly. And that's when she decided to put up the camera. We don't know how long he's been using this as his bathroom.

But since the bag of feces, we caught on that something's happening. Aren't you a detective? What, did you think it was dogs scooping up after themselves? Oh my God. How? This is just a slice of humanity. As Bill Hicks said, we're a virus with shoes. Michael Murphy told News 12 he and his sister last spring started finding deli bags filled with feces. Near the headstone of their mother, Linda Torello. Maybe he's a Red Sox fan. She's buried at a Tappan

Reformed Church Cemetery in Tappan, New York. I know where that is. WABC-TV reported adding that she died five years ago. Murphy and his sister initially thought the bag of feces may have been left by a careless dog walker or a dog owner. I was just guessing that. But after a second bag was found, they were convinced they'd been left there intentionally. Congress is having a hearing. We contacted the police, Murphy told News 12. They came and took a report and they said, if you find another one, let us know, because we're starving down at this station. So we found another one a couple of weeks later. Murphy and his family then got

permission from the cemetery to install cameras. Indeed, camera time stamps showed a man coming to the grave at 6.15 in the morning. Boy, he's pissed to get up that early. What are you doing? I gotta get up early to take a shit on my ex-wife's car. For four consecutive days last week,

all while the man's wife waited in a car. That's crazy. Is that an actual picture? Oh, my God. How about the people that live in the house next to the cemetery? Then on day five, Murphy propped his camera on a nearby headstone, shot video, and confirmed the man in question is his deceased mother's ex-husband, adding that she divorced him over four decades ago.

You fucking whore. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. You fucking whore. Oh, boy. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. He said as he peed on her. Image saw a WABC TV video screenshot. There's been no contacts.

Oh, you put that in there. I'm reading it like Biden. There's been no contacts since 1976, Murphy told the news. I know they were married for a year. They had a bad breakup. I could see him up there, and I could hear the urine hitting the ground, Murphy added to the station in an emotional portion of the interview. I promised my wife and kids the day before.

I promised my sisters because I was fuming. I would not hurt the man. But we wanted to do it the right way. We thought we'd get justice this way. Orange Town police arrested a 68-year-old man for allegedly urinating in the grave. The family identified the suspect as Dean Eichler, adding that he left, listen to this, it gets more interesting. He left the woman, Tortello, when she got pregnant 40 years ago, claiming the child was not his. This is where

we needed Jerry Springer. But the station said DNA testing showed a much different result. In other words, it was his. And Eichler's biological daughter was shocked by her father's actions. Tortello remarried. A neighbor told ABC the suspect lives in Bergenfield, New Jersey and works in the deli section. I'm not touching those rolls. Of a major food chain.

in the deli section, I'm not touching those rolls, of a major food chain. Hot dogs, get your hot dogs here. It's unclear to Tatella's family how long the grave desecration has been going on, but Murphy told the news they want more serious charges than just public urination. They're hoping for legislation that will make it a criminal... Well, it's not happening that much, is it?

Desecrated grave, though. I got to believe there's something on the books that says that. Can you imagine? What's he mad about? First of all, it was his kid. She told him, and he said, no, it's not. She was still alive. Oh, but he's still alive. Would have been funny the other way if he died first and then she, just seeing a woman dropping a log. Oh, Nick, grow up.

I don't have to. I'm a comedian. Finally tonight on Sugarloaf Mountain, what's the headline? Misinformation, get it? As in Miss Florida, Miss Universe. On Saturday, New Zealand's Prime Minister how do you say that name Jacinda Jacinda Jacinda a derm address the United Nations this lady's

this lady's crazier than the guy who shits on his wife's grave and I'm not kidding and again New Zealand's Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern addressed the United Nations General Assembly about her teeth. Can somebody help me out? Plenty of news outlets covered it. However, I defy you to find one news outlet that highlighted or analyzed what many considered the most dangerous, scary part of her speech. And here's the problem. You've got to look for it, right?

Fucking, you think mainstream news? That's what you get. Prime Minister Adairn told the Assembly this week, we launched an initiative alongside companies and nonprofits to help, again, once you hear government working with companies, to help improve research and understanding of how a person's online experiences are curated by automated processes. This will also be important in understanding more about mis- and disinformation online, she explained, a challenge that we must as leaders address.

No, you don't. No, you don't. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. Y onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H. You keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. You know why that's funny? That's the accent of New Zealand.

That was beautiful. So New Zealand's national government and big companies working together to understand misinformation. Sounds familiar. Listen to this. I don't know where they grow these people. They literally think they're smarter than everybody else in the planet, and they're going to tell you what's fake and what's not. And we're dumb enough to fall for that.

Are you ready to die, lady? Because that's where... Go ahead. I think it's easy to dismiss this problem as one in the margins. Margins. I can certainly understand the desire to leave it to someone else. As leaders, we're rightly concerned that even the most light-touch approaches to disinformation could be misinterpreted as being hostile to the values of free speech that we value so

much free speech that we value she's just saying that we believe what we believe is right there might be some people out there believing that it's right but it's not we know the... Can you fucking imagine being that fucking... You pompous, stuck-up... You... All right, go ahead. Anything else? But while I cannot tell you today

what the answer is to this challenge, I can say with complete certainty that we cannot ignore it. To do so poses an equal threat to the norms we all value. After all, how do you successfully end a war if people are led to believe the reason for its existence is not only legal but noble? How do you tackle climate change if people do not believe it exists?

Pause. How do you... You dumb cunt. There's two sides and opinions to every story. And she's doing it under the guise of protecting free speech. Where do they make these fucking people? Not to mention her teeth. Last time I saw choppers like that,

it was coming around turn three at the Preakness. Anyway, has she got more to say? Miss... go ahead. To ensure the human rights of others are upheld when they are subjected to hateful and dangerous rhetoric and ideology. The weapons may be different, but the goals of those who perpetuate them is often the same. Okay, that's it.

That's enough. Beautiful choppers. She should have opened the speech like this. Hello. I'm Mr. Ed. You're a dumb hoe. Yes, you are. Your mom was a little dodo.

Make me a sandwich, you fucking pencil neck geek. Do you guys know the arrogance do you understand and we already tried it over here remember they were going to do the fucking I already forget her name disinformation governance board that's right very good and that woman you haven't heard from her since remember the one who sang

the fucking from whatever my fair lady or some faggoty song. Anyways, independent journalist Glenn Greenwald. This is a gay Jewish fellow who I love very much. He used to be a real lib. He reminds me of Dershowitz, you know? Calls the strikes the way he sees it. And he's on fucking,

he was on a hardcore lib. And he's on fucking, he was on a hardcore, and he's still liberal. But when it comes to free speech and shit, I mean, there is black and white. Independent journalist Glenn Green, Nick, why do you have to point out he's Jewish? I don't know. I'm hoping a lib is watching it.

Fucking makes him furious. Quickly call this portion of her speech what it truly was, the face of authoritarianism. Fucking exactly right, sir. You are correct, sir. Greenwald is correct that this is how tyranny comes, when elites are so convinced of their own righteousness that they should find the collective will to control the thoughts and ideas of others that don't jibe with their world view. So well put, right? Right on the money. You are correct, sir.

They convince themselves they are right. So why permit wrong? Why allow wrong to exist when they have the means to stamp it out? What PM Arden said in this speech, and to the degree that this mindset is shared by powerful governments and corporations around the world, represents a terrible threat to liberal democracies everywhere. You think we would have recognized it by now? Anyhow, unlike the United States where we have First amendment protections new zealand has hate speech laws that jacinda ardern has been eager to expand similar to other countries but

even in the united states elites have increasingly sought to tamp down on basic speech just a few months ago roughly half the country was seemingly comfortable with Biden administration establishing a federal agency to regulate speech. If you remember that, half the country didn't have a problem with it. The dumb half. We could be living in, do you understand? Just think about if you got these assholes out of the way, these leftists. Because the rest of the people, and they always say it's half and half. I still say it's more, the media gives you an impression it's half and half.

More people think like us than Jacinda. So it's insane. And try it, because that's going to lead to, at least over here, I'm hoping it will. Anyways, that's it, right? Thank you. Thank you is before I go. We got thank yous.

I want to close out the week by thanking our newest patrons. AJ from the Netherlands. Speaking of AJ, the Boston Bruins have a kid named AJ Greer who's been in... He played, what, four games or three games,

been in three fights, and he's got like four or five goals. Sign him now. Fucking love him. A.J. from the Netherlands. Sorry, I digressed. Bo Schadeva. Vince Jacobo. I want to welcome and thank Jay Dunn, Jamie Pratt, John Carroll, David Moore, and Mike, who just signed up for our new military level,

which is for all former and active military. Dallas, you've got a blog, right? A blog? Yeah. What do you got? A blog now. What do you got? Something they can read about you or no?

Yeah, I've got an IMDb page. Oh, IMDb page. Just Dallas Burgess. Dallas Burgess. He was on Gilligan. It's quite a resume. No, go look at that if you want to see a guy with a great resume. Thank you to Stephen Stanley, Buddy Paul Sagnella, Scott Brown, Dougie Young, Joseph Hirsch,

and for supporting this show monthly through PayPal automatic payments. We really appreciate you guys very much. That is it. Had a great week. If you're in Florida, again, and I got a lot of, that's where I play a lot now. Hope you guys are safe.

Keep your chin up. Yeah, life can be a real ball buster. It's heading this way. We're going to get it tonight or tomorrow, apparently. I'm a little nervous because it rained hard a couple weekends ago and we had a leak in the guest bedroom. So my wife was under it like this for 12 hours.

I gave her a rest the next day. All right, that is it. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to, that is it. Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.com. You guys think that I'll say it, you're very welcome. See you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend. I'm out. guitar solo Outro Music