The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Lying Through His False Teeth | Nick Di Paolo Show #345

Episode Date: May 5, 2020

Family Dollar guard killed in Flint, MI over mask law. Florida beach goers get warning from Grim Reaper. Don Lemon has a flair for the dramatic. Thank you David G. from Palm Springs, CA for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, it's Nick DiPaolo. I'll tell you what I'm sick of. I'm sick of being told what's acceptable comedy and what isn't. I've never followed that. I hate people go, what's the line? There is no line. You know why? Your line might be a foot away. Mine might be three miles. There is no line. I call it like I see it. I'm sick of the mainstream media, which is run by ultra liberal people creating their own version of the news, not representing how I and you think. That's why we created the Nick DiPaolo show in the first place. Okay. I'm tired of this. Everybody's equal. Everybody gets a trophy. Nobody is judged on merit anymore. It's whether what your skin color is or what your gender is. I'm tired of that shit. So are you. That's why

the Nick DiPaolo podcast was created in the first place, where I could have a place to speak unapologetically, unfiltered. Hollywood turned their back on me years ago. Fuck them. Okay. That's what this show's about. You can watch it every Monday through Thursday. And if you're watching it on YouTube right now, click that button on your screen and you can catch it at nickdip.com five o'clock eastern this show is about cutting loose and right now we need your support especially with the coronavirus going on but we need your contributions because we made the show free recently. So you're going to keep this show alive with your contributions, whether it's individual contributions at nickdip.com or

signing up for Patreon monthly. That's how we will keep this show going. And it's an important show. I really believe that we need it today. I want to thank you guys so much for your support. And if you continue to support it, I will continue to call it like I see it. There's two type of people in the world, politically correct and honest people. And I'm in the latter category like yourselves. So please support the show by contributing at nickdip.com.

Thank you. Now, enjoy your cake. How are you? How are you? How are you, folks? Tuesday in Georgia. How you all doing? You corona? How are you, folks? Tuesday in Georgia. How you all doing? You corona-free, you bunch of bitches. Hey, you motherfucker.

What kind of people are these, Henry? Yeah, I went and got the, I came this close. I'm watching Gamora, folks. If you're not watching it, you're gay. Fucking Italian mob family, contemporary setting, and it's ghettos of naples italy what a shithole and and uh oh my god but every fucking all the gangsters and they're young kids obviously but they have the shaved head the shaved sides with the fucking you know the full head on wacky rat i came this close at the barbers i was thinking about going in this is almost god

talking to me i was thinking about getting that haircut just to frighten everybody I go in and who's fucking sitting in the chair a guy probably not that much younger than me probably late 30s okay a lot younger than me and he was getting it they shaved the city and he had a fucking

almost a mohawk big hunk of hair down the middle I think I'm going to do it. I might even go home and finish the sides. I look like De Niro right now in Godfather 2. Remember the lady comes in? She get kicked out of her apartment because her dog was barking.

And then the landlord comes in after he finds out who De Niro is. And he said, I lowered the rent. $200. De Niro is. And he said, I lowered the rent. $200. De Niro goes, looks away from her. $300. $50.

$50. Anyways. How are you, folks? I'm scaring myself. I think I might go home and finish it. I'm going to take the sides off right down on the skin. I know that's going to piss off.

Hey, real quick, speaking of guineas, Anthony Volpe, he signed up on Patreon at the veto level, which is the most expensive one. And he sent his initials yesterday. He wants his name Antonio Volpe. Grazie. Very guinea show today. He wants his name Antonio Evolpa.

Grazie. Very guinea show today. I don't know what's going on. Let's get the haircut. Grazie. Molto bene. Thank you, Anthony. Seriously appreciate it. Everybody who's signed up on Patreon. Real quick, let's get the silly shit out of the way. I can't keep going

into Corona, but this is yellow related. Social media bozos are now Let's get the silly shit out of the way. I can't keep going into Corona, but this is yellow related. Social media bozos are now peeing in their pants out of lockdown boredom. God, I wish I was fucking young. Just in case you thought coronavirus hashtag stay at home challenge couldn't get any grosser, bored isolationists are now posting TikTok videos of themselves wetting their own pants. Good for them. Yeah. I wish I could pee like that again. The hashtag pee your pants challenge hashtag currently boasts 3.9 million views on TikTok with dozens of clout chasing chuckleheads heading nature's call on camera to keep entertain amid the lockdown.

What the hell's going on out here? That's me, Raz. Don't touch nothing. In the original clip posted April 21st, 19-year-old comedian Liam Weyer, this is how comedians get famous now. They piss themselves, get 70 million viewers,

and they'll be selling out knuckleheads in 2024 if it opens. He can be seen in front of a mirror nonchalantly announcing the perverse prank's name before a revolting trickling sound can be heard in the background, followed by a wet spot appearing on the front of his sweatpants. That's a comedian for you. Weyer, who reposted the video after it was taken down from TikTok told the insider, I am surprised to see that people on the internet will pee themselves if you call it a challenge

and add a hashtag. Needless to say, his viral video leak spawned hordes of imitators. One of the more popular clips, which currently holds almost 70,000 likes and 2 million on TikTok. Jesus, what is TikTok? It makes Twitter look like a think tank, apparently.

All right, that's grossing me out. Making me thirsty. Two million on TikTok shows a urine enthusiast guffawing hysterically and then subsequently moaning as the dirtiness of his deed sinks in. Fortunately, it seems the social media leg excuse me legions are none to amuse by the soft mark stunt somebody posted don't worry there's still time to delete this someone else uh

whatever however the internet personality has since claimed that he was simply taking the piss with the hashtag pee your pants on he says i'm definitely surprised that the challenge actually became a trend uh way or totally inside adding that the prank was intended to poke fun at how pointless viral Internet challenges are. Don't tell me you didn't know you weren't going to get a ton of hits. And where are the girls? I would enjoy that. I'm sure there's girls that step up. I'd like to see a transgender one.

You don't know what the pee's coming from. Step up. Show me you're a man. Show us your new cock. Go pee-pee. I don't know. Hey, I shit my pants less than six months ago while I was asleep.

That's no joke, man. I must have been dreaming I was in a farting contest because I drew heavy mud. Fucking embarrassing. Right down to the mattress pad. I'll tell you, Mike Lundell would have been dreaming I was in a farting contest because I drew heavy mud. Fucking embarrassing. Right down to the mattress pad. I'll tell you, Mike Lindell would have been none too proud of me. All right, let's get to the real show. I thought I'd open up with something light.

Oh, for the love of God. Did you see this folks this is if this isn't the best proof of how corrupt the mainstream left-wing media if this isn't if they're not trying to be funny here keep that they weren't trying to be ironic with this they weren't trying to be funny listen to this what they suggest new york times editorial board faced mockery from multiple journalists Sunday after the board suggested that a sexual assault allegation against former VP Biden be investigated by none other than who? The Democrat National Committee. You got to be dog style on me. You have to be fucking dog style. The Times editorial called for records from Biden's time in the Senate to be reviewed by what they called, get this in quotes, an unbiased apolitical panel together by the DNC.

Put together, I should say, by the DNC. A-plot. Are you fucking dog styling me? Even people, the Democrats laughed at it. How corrupt is the fucking New York Times? Honestly. Yeah, a political panel put together by DNC leading Axios. Jonathan Swan, he writes for Axios to speculate whether the Times was actually serious.

Sure they were. Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. Is this satire, Swan tweeted? Has Raz put up his tweet? Look, I mean, might as well just say there's little Biden can do to satisfy critics since any panel sound by Dancy

wouldn't be accepted as unbiased. I mean, what the do you but they are they really this ensconced in their little political bubble the fucking balls washington examiner chief political correspondent byron york excuse me also a fox news contributor i think he had a tweet too razz did he absolutely astonishing the times not only rejects role of media but calls for an investigation done by an unbiased this is uh who else had a swan guy named Jonathan Swan? I've seen some spectacularly stupid stuff in New York Times, but this might take the cake.

The Times editorial equated its call for investigating Biden with its 2018 call for investigating Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh when sexual assault allegations were made against him during his confirmation process. Kavanaugh, however, was investigated a little differently. It wasn't just by the RNC. Allegations were made against him during his confirmation process. Kavanaugh, however, was investigated a little differently. It wasn't just by the RNC. It was by the FBI. Both questioned by senators from both parties. Well, they say that Biden probe should be done by his own fucking party. You snotty little bastard.

You have to be dog styling me. Fuck that. You're sticking it right in my ass. Never mind dog style. Nick, you can't talk like that. You'll never be on the blaze again. Hey, suck it. Do you believe that, folks?

Do you believe it? Saying that after the Russia. How long have we been on, Raz? I didn't look at the clock when we started. Ten minutes. Oh, my God. I better slow down. Never go outside the... Never go outside the podcast

and tell all the podcasters what you're thinking. I think your brain is going soft from all the comedy with that young girl I want to thank Rich Wood for sending me a meme that's been around for fucking 12 years thanks again Rich but we'll use it anyways because

the captions underneath are very funny feminist hypocrisy you, it's a meme. This guy has the best laugh I have ever. This is the most contagious laugh. It's like when Patrice used to get going, Patrice O'Neill and Artie Lang. This is what when I used to make Artie laugh real hard. This is he has the same. Anyways, this is a meme and they're joking about the hypocrisy of today's feminism and how, you know, nobody's going after Biden like they did Kavanaugh during the hashtag Me Too. Check this out. This made me. Jesus, it looks like me without the mustache.

Read the captions. Everybody get your stories up. People are listening. No matter how famous they were, they were exposed. Melissa Milano, Deborah Messing, hundreds of Hollywood women came out and spoke for these victims. Until Biden got accused. It's true. It's true.

It's true. Melissa Milano hasn't even sent out a single tweet. It's true. But in 2018, when Trump was pushing for Kavanaugh, there'd be two times up people were all over it. Melissa Milano was saying something along the lines of, you can't not support a woman who comes forward and pretend to be for the American people. And Debra Messing tweeting a selfie,

the lead women's shirt. That Joe Biden's a magician. He really is. Just take a little gander at his work. You won't believe it. He has all the female liberal feminists as supporters. And he's got them all to stay silent about a rape allegation. Just look at their Twitter feeds.

Nothing but tumbleweeds. They disappeared. But seriously, no, let's get real. When a woman alleges rape, we should presume she's telling the truth. Guess who said that in 2018? Joe Biden. What a nice guy. Isn't he?

He believed Kavanaugh's accuser, but not his own. I'm going to use that anytime I'm feeling a little fucking depressed. That fucking, that's what Artie sounded like when we did Nick and Artie, when he, when he get going. Oh, it's that silly though. It's that silly. Let's go on to some. So, uh, let's that silly, though. It's that silly. Let's go on to some. So let's trans. Let's make a segue.

What am I trying to say? It's true. Here's something very funny, too. Michigan, Flint, Michigan. here's something very funny too uh uh michigan flint michigan a woman her adult son and husband have been charged in the fatal shooting of a security guard who refused to let her daughter enter a family dollar in michigan because she wasn't wearing a face mask to protect against the coronavirus i just read that first sentence and me being the racist said, that's a black fucking woman. That's what I said.

Bingo, ding-toe. Why? Well, Flint, Michigan's a giveaway known for their delicious spring water and dollar store and violence for no reason whatsoever. I put those three together. Call me a fucking magician. Oh, Nick, that's horrible.

I don't think it is. No, they're ignorant that's ignorant calvin uh munerlin who's probably black himself uh was shot friday at the store just north of downtown flint a short time after telling charmelle teague's daughter she had to leave because she lacked a mask according to the genesee county prosecutor david layton i just got a haircut i had to wear a mask the girl cut my hair a mask it was very fucking weird teague 45 argued with munorin 43 before leaving two men came back to the store teague her husband larry teague 44 andonia Bishop, 23, they're charged with first degree premeditated murder on gun charges.

Think about how ignorant that is. Gone. Life. Because of a little argument over. Just think about it. Larry Teague also charged with violating. They put this in. This may be Teague, the guy who, you know, he's going to be charged with premeditated. They put this in. This may be Teague, the guy who, you know, he's going to be charged with premeditated. Also charged with violating Governor Gretchen Whitmer's executive order, maintaining that all customers and employees must wear face. Oh, that's the one that that's the guy's going to get life. And they throw that in there.

Witnesses identified Bishop as the man who shot Munor in the back of the head. You got to be dog style. Wake up, white people. What are you talking about? It's got nothing to do with white people. Sharmell Teague has been arrested. Police were looking for her husband and son. No information has been released about the daughter who has not yet been charged in the shooting. Now listen to this. Here comes the liberal spin. This is the same story. Look what they look, how they try to pass on the blame.

Here's how the left wing media, they're very slick with this shit. This is still the same story. Watch how they pass the blame. Who's really to blame on Thursday? Gun carrying protesters and other demonstrators rallied inside the Capitol. Remember all the white people? A couple of them had guns on them calling for Corona virus related restrictions to be lifted. Some protesters with guns, which are allowed in the statehouse, went to the Senate gallery.

Some senators wore bulletproof vests. Here it comes. The hostile tone. Who's saying this? I don't comes. The hostile tone, who's saying this? I don't know. The hostile, Leighton, the hostile tone that we have seen in recent days on television and in social media can permeate our society in ways we sometimes don't fully realize or anticipate, Leighton told reporters on Monday.

See that? Do you see what they did there? So it's the white people you saw on TV protesting at the Capitol in Michigan. You know, the ones with the guns that did it peacefully, where there was no violence, there was no litter, just assembling like you have the right to. That's the reason.

These black people saw that shit on TV and that's what spawned the behavior. Layton, I don't know who the fuck you are, but you're everything that's wrong with the world. See how they do that though? Somebody read that and subconsciously digest it and go, oh, so goddamn white people with guns. Unfucking real.

That made me so angry. Do we have a picture of her? Looks like every power forward for the Pistons in the last six years. What? She actually looks like a nice lady. Can't believe she pulled that shit. What the fuck's the matter with you? Women arrested for licking

spree. My balls weren't involved alert south carolina sumpter right up the street a woman who allegedly licked her hands and touched food items and several surfaces at the south carolina grocery store and sandwich shop was arrested. You fat, nasty, black bitch. Shanier Gibson Holiday, she spells Holiday H-O-L-L-I-D-A, was taken into custody Saturday after Sumter Police responded to reports of a suspicious person at an IGA grocery store.

Police said surveillance footage from the store showed Holiday licking her hands and coughing before touching food items and freezer doors. Why would you do that? Why? Like, think about that. What's her, to get on the news or to kill everybody? Oh, she's like, I have a little bit of power with this coronavirus thing, right? She's like, I have a little bit of power with this coronavirus thing, right? And this transcends all people, by the way. The incident came after the manager of a substation two sandwich shop said a woman was seen licking coins and putting them back in the shop's tip jar. You know, you're going to buy cigarettes and you're a couple pennies short.

Can I take those out? Now you go home and shit blood and die the next day. The shop's manager, licking coins. That's pretty fucking gross. Delicious. Thank you. The shop's manager said the woman also licked her hands before handing money over to the clerk and touched the shop's debit card machine.

I went into the supermarket and they maybe, you know, put my card in. Fucking lady made me pick up that dirty pen. I licked it just to scare her. Deputy said the woman exited the store before the workers were done making her food and told them she'll be back.

Deputies did not find her at the shop when they arrived. Holiday was put on a trespass notice for all substation two sandwich shops and charged with aggravated breach of peace and food tampering. She's being held at a detention center on a $100,000 bond. A hundred large.

Let's set up a GoFundMe for this fucking what? Raz, you want to get famous? You want to go viral? Go into Publix and just start licking the fucking celery and the grapes. You'll be famous in no time. Hey, guys. This sponsor is Reed is for my fellow Georgians. As many of you know, I moved down here from New York about a year ago.

It was actually one of the best decisions I made. Obviously, looking back, we didn't know Corona was coming, but I feel good. By the way, it's been 85 down here, breezy. How's the cold up there? How's the Corona? How's the fucking mass? How's the shelter in place?

How's the fucking taxes? How's the construction? How's the... Anyway, the guys at the roofing remedies in Atlanta are big fans of the show and are now sponsors and I really appreciate it. Like I said, these guys are out of Atlanta. They do great work. Commercial roof repair, residential roof repair,

metal roofs, shingle roofs, the roof of your mouth. They will fix anything. Remind me to tell you how I burnt my mouth yesterday. I almost didn't think I was coming in. I'm not shitting you. My lips last night. I looked like the wives of Beverly Hills when I went to bed. Oh, painful. If you've got tax return money or stimulus money burning a hole in your pocket and you need your roof fixed, check out these guys at roofingremediesrepairs.net. I wouldn't want to be on a roof today. It's already in the roofingremediesrepairs.net. I wouldn't

want to be on a roof today. It's already in the 80s and 90s down here, and these guys do excellent work. Let them handle it. That's roofingremediesrepair.net, and we thank them for sponsoring this show, and we do. It's nice to have a little regional blood. Yeah, I was

making Hooters Hot Wings. I have the recipe that somebody put online supposedly their recipe they're not even close to as good but they're still delicious enough to clog your arteries so I'm deep frying the shit at 375 and they kept floating up and I had a cocktail spoon

with a long handle and I kept poking the wings down but I don't think that's what did it I put the spoon down on the stove. I didn't realize it was about an inch from the burner. Yeah. So I picked the spoon up, and then I went over to the sink. I wanted to dump a bucket of water in the sink or whatever I had.

So I needed my other hand, so I put the spoon in my mouth. I could hear the... Here's one burn. I have two identical up under here. Dude, they were white. I go, I can't go to work with this. I had a big white blister and like second degree burns. Christ, I'll never be able to blow anybody again.

That's what my wife goes. That happens when girls blow. Oh, thanks. What are you telling me that for? I haven't sucked a dick since seventh grade. Come on. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. It was ignorant. Oh, my God. I was almost crying. And the other thing, my house is, I don't believe in the supernatural. I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in any of that shit. But somebody explain this to me.

And I'm not kidding. Every night, me and my wife hear creaking above us. We're in the TV living room. Her office is right next to it. We hear not squirrels running around, maybe in the it sounds like heavy. So we don't know what that is. Number one, Sunday, I'm in the bathroom sitting on a toilet. I hear crash, bang, boom. I thought like a cabinet in the kitchen came off the wall. I mean, that loud. I actually yell, what what happened think of my wife who goes oh but

she goes did you hear that i go yeah what was it we don't know we don't know and it was in our house i checked every cabinet i i don't believe in that but i'm starting to get a little weird savannah's known for their ghosts and right believe in that shit but i'm starting to get a little weird savannah's known for their ghosts and shit right i'm hoping it's like a fucking confederate soldier i was on his side no no it wasn't but raz what the fuck it could be like a indian burial ground also bad let's hope so i hope it's a i hope it's fucking liz warren's relatives hate me. They're haunting me. The titless wonder-screaming beagle. What?

Raz, I am fucking dumbfounded. It was in our... And then last night, we're sitting there watching Gamora. We have an air conditioning grate on the living room floor. We hear... Like a loud scrape. I'm going, please, I hope that was outside. my wife. She goes, did you just fucking hear that? Doesn't matter. I still slept like a baby last night. I don't believe in ghosts. Pretty sure I can kick a ghost's ass. They don't weigh that much. let's get on to speaking of mystery a strange phenomenon dubbed happy hypoxia has baffled

doctors treating coronavirus patients who describe themselves as comfortable despite dangerously low oxygen levels that would typically leave them unconscious or even dead how the fucking weird i don't know nothing about that the mysterious condition that appears to defy basic biology is raising questions about how COVID-19 attacks the lungs. While a healthy person's blood oxygen, listen to this, saturation is at least 95%. In other words, your blood has 95% oxygen in it. Doctors have reported some coronavirus-stricken patients with levels in the 80s or 70s, with some extreme cases below 50. And yet those so-called happy hypoxics

have been observed scrolling on their phones, chatting with their health care provider, describing themselves as generally comfortable. Speaking of ghosts, fucking explain that. This doctor says there is a mismatch between what we see on the monitor and what the patients look like in front of us. Dr. Ruben Strayer, an emergency physician, told the magazine from his home as he recovered from the illness himself.

Dr. Jonathan Bannard-Smith, a critical care specialist at the Manchester Royal Infirmary in England, told The Guardian that some patients are unaware that their oxygen saturations are so low. We wouldn't usually see this phenomenon in influenza or community acquired pneumonia, he said. It's very much more profound and an example of very abnormal physiology going on before our eyes, he said. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? It's intriguing to see so many people coming in quite hypoxic they are. Another British physician said people would ordinarily appear to be extremely ill with other lung conditions that could cause severe hypoxia. With pneumonia or pulmonary embolism, they wouldn't be sitting up in bed talking to you, Dr. Charles Worth said of some English faggy Tom.

We just don't understand it. We don't know if it's causing organ damage that we're not able to detect. Are you saying he knows nothing about these matters? To my knowledge, sitting right up. I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. We don't know. This committee is now adjourned. We don't understand if the body's compensating at another doctor who was also infected with COVID. Jesus Christ. After coming down with a cough and fever, he spent 48 hours in bed, during which he said there were signs he was hypoxic. So this guy's speaking from experience. I know a thing or two about a thing or two.

I was sending very strange messages on my phone. I was essentially delirious looking back i probably should have come into the hospital i'm pretty sure my oxygen levels were low this is the doctor who had it what causes people suffering from lung disease to feel breathless is not the fall in oxygen levels but rather the body sensing the rise in levels of carbon dioxide. The brain is tuned to monitoring the carbon dioxide with various sensors. We don't sense our oxygen levels, Paul Davenport said, a respiratory physiologist at University of Florida. But among some coronavirus patients, this response does not appear to be kicking in. During the early phase of COVID-19,

low saturation levels aren't always accompanied with obvious respiratory difficulties carbon dioxide levels can be normal and deep breathing may be comfortable uh a pulmonologist said uh but the lung is inflating so they feel okay she said though their oxygen saturation could be in the 70s 60s 50, 50s, or even lower. So in other words, if you had something else, pneumonia or something, you'd fucking be almost dead with levels that low. Theories about what causes happy hypoxia are emerging

as many doctors recognize clotting as a major feature of severe COVID-19. It's called the China virus. Fuck your PC COVID-19 shit. It started in China, as Trump said. Negri believes slight clotting might start early in the lungs, perhaps a result of inflammatory reaction in their fine blood vessels,

which could trigger a cascade of proteins that prompts blood clots. Strayer also finds it reasonable to imagine that hypoxia may be caused when small blood vessels of the lung are being showered with clots but stray has stressed that it is simply not known whether clotting causes happy hypoxia wouldn't call it happy the fuck that's weird though right if you had any other disease and you're down in your 50s, you'd be on your back almost dying. These guys are on their phone, chat like everything. We know nothing about this virus.

The Chinese really pulling over on us. They probably worked on this for 10 years in a fucking lab. All right, maybe I'm just being a conspiracy guy. Trump said they didn't do it on purpose. That's what Trump said yesterday, but he believed it came out of that lab. They didn't do it on purpose.'s what trump said yesterday but they he believed it came out of that lap they didn't do it on purpose wake up smell the coffee it's a fucking communist government done worse shit than this anyways raz pull it up in our florida segment tonight. We have a... No music for that? What?

All right, we're working on that, folks. And our fucking lunatic FLA segment. You know, well, he had this jerk off on a beach who's afraid of the little virus, but, you know, he wanted to go viral, too. Did you see the asshole dressed up like the Grin Reaper? Check it out. He's just a fucking... Dressed up as a Grin Reaper, protesting the

reopening of beaches during the pandemic. We are dealing with a deadly virus. I love our beaches. I've been fighting for our beaches for years, but I think it's too soon to draw thousands of millions of people to our beaches. Oh, fucking idiot! Just walked around just like that.

Let me pause. Let me ask you a second. You've been fighting for beaches for years? What does that mean? That's how you know he's full of shit. Just wants to be another fucking social media sensation, and I'm helping him. Most people who saw the Grim Reaper on the beach were unfazed and said they are still glad the beaches are open and they hope that this guy dies of cancer and his kids die in a fire. I embellished. Go ahead. What a jack off. Problem? You're the

fucking problem? You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag arking spunk bubble. I'm telling you H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. Oh, that's him. Hey, let me ask you a question. The beaches have been open now, what, a couple weekends? Do we have any data? Anybody get sick? Just like to know.

They were open last week down here, right? Tybee Island a couple weeks ago. I want to hear the data. How many people are getting sick? Because a lot of doctors said that sunlight is good for it. Humidity, heat. So I'll dress like the Grin. Go fucking jerk off.

Let's stay on our fucking lunatic asylum segment tonight. Florida man shoots AR-15 at dirt bikers. Duraz's favorite story today. Who are tormenting the neighborhood. I love Florida. You know what? And I know the bikers he's talking about. A Florida man said he

fired his ar-15 multiple times because a group of juveniles on dirt bikes were tormenting the neighborhood he just wanted to in quotes make awareness look at him if that fucking goatee doesn't say meth he should be on he should be the governor of florida just by his looks uh he just wanted to make uh people aware deputy said they were called to investigate reports of dirt bikers driving recklessly which i've seen these kids doing the back and all over the place as deputy anthony esquivel uh was investigating the juveniles told him that 45 year old derrick roberts pictured here had fired an AR-15 towards them. Roberts claimed two of the victims had threatened to shoot him and had run their... This is him talking.

Two of the... They're saying... They're referring to the bikers as victims. They're the ones raising fucking hell, you cocksuckers, that had threatened to shoot him and had run their dog off the road a week prior, causing the canine to run into a fence and injure its neck. Get off my lawn, cocksucker! Oh, God. Deputy said Roberts admitted to firing six rounds from his Glock into his yard after the 10th expletive.

You know what? Time they passed by just to make awareness. He also said next time, if y'all don't do anything about them, I'll be happy to go to jail. My type of guy. Fucking cops is pussyfooting around. Good for you, you psycho. all don't do anything about them i'll be happy to go to jail my type of guy fucking cops his pussy footing around good for you you psycho one victim said one victim again these are the bikers who started this whole thing said he was called to the area after the shooting and was talking to roberts wife to try to figure out what oh you're trying to figure out what happened you were buzzing

his fucking house like 20 times you're trying to figure out what happened victim what happened. Oh, you're trying to figure out what happened? You were buzzing his fucking house like 20 times. You're trying to figure out what happened, victim? What happened when Roberts came out of his house and said something explicit to him, then told him wait right here, while he went inside grabbed the AR-15, then shot toward the boy's vehicle. Roberts claimed he shot the AR-15 at the ground and only did it because the boys and the pickup truck were threatening him.

Deputies said evidence from the scene proved that Roberts was not aiming at the ground when he shot the rifle. No one was injured. No one was injured. Roberts was arrested on three counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. That's from our Florida segment. Hey, our sponsor, TheDonaldStuff.com, has hilarious T-shirts, hats, mugs, etc. Most of them surrounding our commander inief, Donald J. Trump. Well, guess what?

They also have a Nick DiPaolo collection and just added new items and ladies cut versions of everything. So there'll be four ladies will be getting this. I think that's the total I have. I would like to see a girl with a nice rack on that shirt, though. Me making that face like, what, I don't get to touch them? Hey! Anyway, lots of great stuff on thedonaldstuff.com. Go there and check out all the gear.

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up a shirt or a mug or a hat and support these guys because they do a great job for sponsoring the show. So please do that, will you? Here's some gear you can wear to protect yourself from the coronavirus. Man wears KKK hood while grocery shopping in California. I love our country why? this is so much fun what would we do without black and white tension nothing would be bored stiff

keep it coming let me put these back on don't ever go to the grocery store wearing a clown hood again the hooded creep was seen roaming the aisles of Vaughn Supermarket in the San Diego County city of Santee on Saturday.

Store clerks repeatedly asked the man to remove the hood or leave the premise. I would have said, why? Protecting myself from COVID. There's nothing illegal about this. Sure, it's fucking offensive, but I ain't taking it off. Look at him all cocky, leaning on his grub.

If you look in that basket, you know there's got to be a thing for bleach and fucking I don't know what else goes into meth, like fucking brake fluid. Look, he's in front of the fresh produce. Oh, there's a burning cross on aisle three.

Clean it up. They asked the man to leave the premise. A supervisor approached him at the checkout and asked him to take off the hood or leave. Company spokeswoman Melissa Hill told the newspaper. The man finally removed the hood and bought his items and left. Turned out to be none other than Mitch McConnell. All right, well, that was great.

At Vons, fostering, and here comes the politically correct horse shit, like we need to hear this. Raz, you know, at Vons, fostering an environment of courtesy, dignity, and respect. Listen to this shit. It's a supermarket, for fuck's sake. Courtesy, dignity, and respect. Listen to this shit. It's a supermarket, for fuck's sake.

Courtesy, dignity, and respect is one of our highest priorities. And we work hard to hold everyone in our stores to these standards, including the customers. You're not working hard enough, apparently. No other stores, Kruger's, Publix, they don't have Klansmen picking up bleach and shit. Santee Mayor John Minto had to stick his two-piecey

faggy sense in. Residents said on social media that the man's actions do not represent the values of the city of almost 60,000 residents. That's what he had to say. Like, we needed to fucking hear that. Don't say a fucking word to me.

I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. The city has tried over the years to overcome a history of racially motivated incidents that led to nicknames such as clanty and santucky why is everyone so fucking stupid why aren't more people interrogating like me let me ask you something when you say that you're trying to uh you know create an environment of

tolerance and does that include uh when black people act up do you come out do you make those statements no you don't no you fucking don't oh the double standard uh here's a guy that I hate almost as much as Hillary and fucking Pelosi combined. Judd Apatow. There he is. Long Island lib. His movies suck. He was bullied as a kid. He licked Roseanne Barr's ass as a gopher to get where he is.

I fucking hate everything he makes i hated that shit on hbo what was it called the comedy show that i already was in i forget anyways i i just this is a headline trump has normalized being insane that's what that's what he said i suck cock and i love it yummy yummy yummy yummy Here's something. Russ just went yummy, yummy, yummy along with it. When you see him make an outrageous statement like this on Twitter or social media, you know, your next thought should be, oh, he must have a movie coming out, I bet. Sure enough. Hollywood director Judd Apatow laid blame for the death of thousands of Americans killed by the Chinese coronavirus at the feet of Republicans.

Oh, God. What the fuck am I on this? I've lost all. It says here I'm supposed to hit the button that says you smug cocksucker. I can't find it. Got to put it in. Anyways, this is what the jerk off said. He normalized being insane, meaning Trump, but we will vote Trump and all Republicans out in November. The king of Staten Island director.

So that's the new movie. Make sure you waste your twelve dollars on that when it eventually comes out. He said this yesterday. They care more about, listen to this, their power than helping people. None stand up and say the president is inept and that that is a dereliction of duty. As a party, they are responsible for thousands of deaths. That's what this fucking jerk off said. Oh, retard alert. Retard alert.

Republicans do everything for power are you fucking dog styling me Judd Russia hoax been proved to be horse shit fake fucking impeachment spying on Trump when he was

running for president fucking Obama only president in history never hit 3.0 with GDP. Are you dog-styling me inept? You have to be, you know what they do? They project. They project.

They, you are literally insane. Best economy ever, you're fucking ignoring all that, and now you're trying to pin the coronavirus on him. Why don't you look up when Obamaama finally did something about h1n1 six months in fucking retarded you stay in hollywood long enough he's already a big lib before he went out there i'm sure because he's from new york he says i think the senate majority leader and

all of these politicians should be prosecuted when this is done. How about fucking Peter Strzok and his girlfriend and the FBI, who we are now finding out set up fucking General Flynn, a decorated war hero, you fucksdame. Do you ever read the other side?

Do you talk to anybody that doesn't think like you? Prosecute when this is done for the lives, which costs thousands of deaths, Apatow said, responding to Mitch McConnell's contention that the Democrats pushed impeachment while President Trump was dealing with the threat of the Chinese coronavirus. Were they not? Is that a fucking lie? You're insane. You're projecting. He knows Trump is a con man who lied to everyone to delay bad news and that led to thousands of additional deaths yeah go read the new york times that's even being mocked today by other liberals like you you're fucking insane piss me get this through your head get

this through your head you jew motherfucker you he's a nazi he wants no this is from uh he said these are some of his quotes about trump in the past he's a nazi that's very original judd but as original as your movies uh he wants no judicial process he kidnapped children and commits acts of violence for political gain those children he's talking about the ones that were in cages at the border. That was under Obama, stupid. And gain support, his racist view. Gain support from his race. You know, he's pinning on all of us. Apatow said that in 28.

He admires violent dictators. Yeah, I can see. Yeah, he admires violent dictators so much that he put a 25% tariff on fucking China's goods. Enough to the point to piss off China where they probably did this on purpose. Trump is a Nazi.

The debate is over. Soon we will have the proof he is a Nazi supported by the Russians. How'd that work out, Judd? But again, and I don't want to dislike him because we did a young comedian special together. That's the last time he ever got a

laugh on stage, fucking 35 years ago. But right in these quotes, he admires Dick to, soon we'll have proof he's a Nazi supported by the Russians. He said that a couple years ago. How'd that work out? Judd, do you check your work after you say it or you just a Nazi supported by the Russians. He said that a couple years ago. How'd that work out? Judd? Do you

check your work after you say it or you just have it supported by all the left-wing outlets? I want to thank you people for contributing to this show financially, whether it's on Patreon where you become a monthly subscriber and when you do that, you get an extra story a day. You get to ask me a question

and you get access to all the past shows. I also want to thank one-time contributors at nickdip.com. You can contribute. This is since yesterday. Richard Rouge, Missouri. Manish Sharma, California. Ryan Easley, Missouri. Aaron Reba or Ryber, Pennsylvania.

Jack Myers, California. Steven Watson, Arizona. Christopher Verzi, Michigan, Roland Klein, Oregon, Brent Robinson, Washington, Angela Anderson, Illinois, Ida ate Hillary's ass. Ida eat Hillary's ass, Illinois. And monthly supporters at patreon.com. Mark Wilson, Ron Steiger

and Anthony Volpe at the veto level. Guys, I can't thank you enough. Can't thank you enough. This show keeps me sane, too. Because I haven't done stand-up forever like everybody else. And my God, I don't want to go back to selling Coke. I mean,

that's a world I just don't. Never sold a drug in my life. Did a little blow in the 80s like everybody. I mean, who wasn't doing it? Walk in, your fucking mother was snorting a line up the picnic table. I did a comedy club in New Haven, Connecticut. I think it's still there, actually, run by different people now, but the guy I ran it with was a little, you know, a little connected or whatnot. I'm not cheating.

Like, the second time I worked there, I go into the men's room. His mother, she's like in her 70s, late 70s, is in there with a state trooper snorting coke.

is in there with a state trooper snorting coke. He's still in his uniform. That's what I love about this job. You just experience, oh my god, let's get to this. I'm giving you a trigger warning for fans of mine. This is Don

Lemon, who's more evil than all of them put together. This fucking cum guzzler. He thinks he's he's acting now. He looks into the camera. He gets all dramatic. You know, the fags have a flair for the dramatic. Listen to this. So I'm going to we're going to show this clip. If you don't lose your mind, CNN's Don Lemon launched into a bizarre. Excuse me. me god damn it i'm doing the right thing here into a bizarre anti-trump diatribe on sunday night accusing the president of letting president barack obama get under his skin watch this performance keep in mind this guy they actually had him as a moderator during one of the debates.

This is what CNN thinks is a journalist. Watch this. What is it about President Obama that really gets under your skin? Please give me a call. Is it because he's smarter than you? Please give me a call. Better educated? Made it on his own?

Didn't need daddy's help? Wife is more accomplished? Better looking? I don't know. What is it? What is it about him? That he's a black man that's accomplished? Became president? Suck your dick and die. Please give me a call. What is it about him? Please give me a call. That he's a black man that's accomplished, became president.

Suck a dick and die. That he punked you on the whole birth certificate thing. Please give me a call. Hold it. Pause. Maybe it's because Obama, Obama weaponized the Justice Department, all the intelligence agencies. It was the last thing he did before he went out the door so they could spy on him you think that might have gotten a skin you fucking cum guzzler you hater of white people of women you're fucking evil fucking aids i hope it comes back full fucking go ahead let him finish. Just wondering. Please give me a cup. Please give me a cup.

You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! Please give me a cup. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I get that speaking cunt please give me cock that's all i get to say don you are a lying cocksucker literally cnn you ought to be embarrassed how are they go ahead i have a patreon question related to the obamas you should we're two hours into the show what is it razzy david g palm springs california according to the most accurate models trump has a 91 probability of being re-elected is that right if mich Michelle joins Joe's ticket, do you feel she is a coattail whore like Hillary? No, Hillary was literally a coattail whore because, you know, she jumped on the ticket with her husband.

Joe Biden is not Michelle's husband. I understand her husband worked with Joe Biden, but yeah, the mentality would be, you know what it is? Here's what it is. I don't think it's going to happen. She's got, the NFL is opening up. She's got spring training. Number one.

Fucking thick ankle, thick neck, fucking whitey hater. Anyways, Michelle, if she jumped on, you know why she'd jump on the ticket? Because she would have Barack Obama's ear at home. And he would tell her what to say to tell Biden what to say. Little chain going. But Biden's not going to be there. There's no way. Once he comes out of his fucking mouse hole and talks for more than 10 seconds, he makes an asshole of himself.

You think his senility went away because he's hiding? No, he's crazy as ever. He's not going to be the guy I'm telling you right now. Why doesn't get it over with, Libs? Put fucking Oprah and Michelle on the ticket and then dare the United States to say no to two black women. They won't. You're right.

You'll win in spades. No pun intended. But seriously, I'd go all out. I'd put frigging Oprah at the top of the ticket. Then Michelle. Then Republicans would come back with fucking Nikki Haley and, I don't know, Candace Owens. Finally, tonight on Meet the Press. Boy press boy christ i've got enough for another fucking day res sorry you must shit your pants when i send you all these and you're like jesus

christ let it go uh here's a follow-up story from yesterday remember we did a we did a story on that killer fucking hornet from asia like the coronavirus isn't enough. Now they're sending 11 pound bees our way. Fangs. You saw the thing yesterday. Excuse me. Fucking A. I'm doing pretty good with the cigarettes. I'm cutting down on those.

But this is. You're not supposed to suck on this all day. Said Don Lemon to his boyfriend. on this all day, said Don Lemon to his boyfriend. Here's what it feels like to be stung by Asia's murder hornet. We touched on this yesterday, right? Didn't we? We sure did. an extreme nature show host allowed himself to be stung on camera by the nightmarish asian giant hornet which is believed to have first shown up in the uh u.s remember i tell you about the chicken

wings when you go to a chinese restaurant they're huge they're probably from these hornets they showed up in december experts one will now inevitably and inevitably arrive in the new york area in a couple years or so and uh so here's the video of him letting the goddamn thing sting him Let's go! Ah! Oh, this thing's stuck in my arm! Ah! Ooh! How bad is it? Oh man, wave of dizziness really quick.

Ah! Watch your hat. Oh! Oh, steering pain! Absolute steering pain! He's doing play by bling. Those little steering went in right there. Did you guys see how slow the sting was?

Oh! I see blood. Ah! Oh my gosh. Here, here, here, look at this. If I turn my arm sideways, look at the welt. Whoa! I'm, oh, oh, oh, sideways, look at the welt. Whoa. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. Can't touch near it.

Sharp shooting pain if I touch near it. If I was his friend, I'd be punching him. I don't know. I get stung. When I was a kid, I was cutting the grass for my grandparents, and I went over a underground wasp nest, and 25 of them came out. I got stung like six or seven times. I was running, and they were fucking.

And here's my grandmother. This isn't too old school Italian, is it? You know what she does? Because my arm was all swollen. They got me all in one arm. What does she do? She soaks rocks in cold water and puts the rocks on my arm. Most people would go with ice, but no.

I guess she had them laying around when she was throwing him at my grandfather's head uh uh the the theory being the rocks stay cold longer they don't melt or whatever the fuck which makes sense and it did work but uh and then in westchester county couple years ago before i moved down here. Yellow jackets. They hurt the most. I was in my shed, getting my lawnmower out, fucking hit a nest. Those fuckers chased me. And I

get three or four on my back. Those fuckers hurt. My grandfather used to say, none should be afraid of anything that's smaller than you and then my brother would go yo what about a scorpion grampy he didn't know what a scorpion was

ah buff and gold are scorpion anyways I just wanted to show you that that's it Jesus Christ a long show huh Marius still got nine stories left one of those is going to you Patreon members so anyways hey uh thank you guys very much remember cameo.com too where if you want me to send i'll make a personal video

on my phone roasting one of your friends or relatives uh one of your arch enemies or say happy birthday to your grammy and grampy whatever you want i can make the day i'll wreck the day go to uh cameo.com and uh click on my profile tell me a little bit about the person and we'll go to town on him or her that is it you guys think and i will say it you're very welcome we'll see you back here tomorrow uh stay corona free everybody guitar solo I'm out.