The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden Throwing Billons at Latin America | Nick Di Paolo Show #505

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

Biden tries to buy his way out of the border crisis. USPS bounced 90,000 ballots, says county clerk. New woke book argues that the tax code is racist.

🎵 Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah Hi folks, how are ya? Welcome, final day of the week. I'll tell you, the Europeans are right. Four days a week is more than enough. Even with this job, I love it. I'll go home, cook something, lay on the couch, and the alarm will go off on Monday. I'll get up and go to work.

It's like paralysis. I'm a lazy fuck. Not true. I get out sometimes. Girls jog by my house, young girls, and I hand out little cups of vodka like a marathon. Colin Quinn said I should have my car out there with the back gate open selling Daisy Duke shorts and fucking tank top. Excuse me. Yeah yeah it's okay i have nick the pig as a friend you're goddamn right

mr de paulo no one could be as nasty as as you pretend to be unless they they really wanted to be disliked you got that right right, Bobby. You got that right. Oh, I got to tell you a funny story. I made this chicken dish with, I love cherry red, red hot cherry peppers, the Italian kind in a jar. And so I made this dish last night, my favorite. And, you know, when I'm done, I clean up and wash my hands and whatever the fuck. Last night, I'm laying in bed with my hand on my package. Guys do that once in a while.

All of a sudden, something catches fire down there. Oh, my fucking word. I had pepper shit on my hand. Not just my balls. My dick was burning up. Very quick fire, by the way, unfortunately. I run into the goddamn bathroom. I take a wet face.

It was like throwing gas on a fire. It's like trying to put an oil grease fire out with water on a fucking stove top. Holy shit. I've washed my hands after I'm done eating, cooking and before and during. Anyways, thought that was. And boy, it took a good half hour to settle down. I poured a fucking quart of

low-fat milk down my underwear. It's a true story. That hurt like a motherfucker. Reminds me when I was in University of Maine and I had a groin pull, and the fucking, they put that, it's hotter than Bengay. It's about ten times hotter. They put that shit on a wrap around my groin, and we're stretching, and it fucking got on my balls.

And two other guys, two guys down from me, I think it was Gary Hopnagle, had the same thing. We both were going to the trainer. What the fuck? In the training room, unwrapping us. But let's get to it. As we watch Joe Biden, or every, now even women in their

40s have pronounced it by and i don't know how ghetto culture spills into the mainstream joe biden uh i i again i would feel bad for him if he wasn't, you know, if he didn't get put into office with a fucking fraud of an election. But I hope he dies on stage now. And I hope Kamala is paralyzed from the tits down. Nick, you shouldn't say stuff like that. That's why you can't get on Fox Nation. I don't want to be. Fox Nation.

Anyways, let's get right to how bad a shape he's in. That's all they're talking about, folks. This has to be embarrassing, but they have no shame. Do you guys know the Hill, the website, the Hill? Reporter Cheryl Atkinson, who I like very much, used to work for CBS. They canned her for going against their narrative years ago. And she was on O'Reilly with a book and shit, spilling the beans on how liberal the newsroom was. Anyways, she has suggested that the White House, listen to this, could, and they're talking about this, could use a hologram technology to help Joe Biden deliver public speeches. Can we make this shit up? Oh boy, is this great? They talked about Trump not being fit.

Is this not an admission he's not fit? You're talking about a hologram? Are you fucking, this should have been under the, are you dog styling me? Even his hologram, he'd probably fall down or something. Anyways, according to Atkinson, officials within the administration are mulling over far-fetched speculation that upon further examination starts to look almost like it's not completely outside the realm of possibility. The journalist highlighted how AI and deepfake technology is becoming so indistinguishable from reality that it can make people who didn't say or do something look very much like they said or did something, which is creeping me out.

Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. Look at him. He's fucking sniffing the hair of a building in New York. I know a guy who knows a guy, right? My buddy, Zook the Cop. His nephew worked for Disney for years. I don't know if he's still there. But he was telling me, telling us about the technology that they have, that they won't even release it because it could cause chaos.

That's how good the technology is. And don't tell me that's not going to happen. It's freaky, those deep fake things. I'm trying to do something myself. Cut myself in with like a young Pam Anderson. It's not working. Some years ago, a government source with access to intelligence at the highest levels explained to me, this is Atkinson talking, without divulging any classified information that any technological thing we can imagine is actually being researched or accomplished in the secret channels of our government. And he told me things that are beyond our ability to imagine also are being done, wrote Atkinson. How freaky is that? And you're going to tell me what party is more likely to

use it when you say. Come on. They stole the national election. So you know what? Maybe the Republicans. The only way you can beat them with fucking fakes. Maybe she's not real. Joe Biden isn't a hologram. But if he wanted to be and if powerful people with access to the latest technology wanted to make him one, it seems as though there might be a little

they couldn't accomplish, she concludes. Biden has yet to take part in a press conference or address the fucking nation. This is outrageous. I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. Yeah, you got to talk to us. Although he is set to do that today,

because it says tomorrow and I wrote this yesterday, set to do it today to mark the one year anniversary of the coronavirus shutdown. That's the only time he comes out of his mouse hole to take credit for something Trump did. You fucking people on the left. I can't tell you how much I hate you. And I'm insulted. I'm not kicked off my own thing. Meanwhile, Carmela, that'll piss her off Harris I want to like her she looks like it right there she looks like a cool chick

I want to like you but you're such a liberal fucking left-wing racist anti-white feminist douchebag I can't dump that hot coffee right down your fucking t-shirt. Let me lick off the cremora. Let's go, folks. Meanwhile, Carmela Harris has been handling important phone calls with foreign leaders, a task normally undertaken by the president. She's talking to fucking Russia and

Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. We can't. He's giving a speech today about COVID. Anyways, let's take a look at, have you seen this? You guys, you're up on it more than me, younger people, obviously, but hologram technology. I'm a hologram right now. You're watching this. No, but I found a little video that explains how it's done.

And it's a little more in depth than what I'm going to show you here. It has something to do with the screen surface, too. It lets in light somewhere, and it lets in whatever, but check this out. Projector receives the video signal and projects it down from the ceiling. It hits a bounce screen on the floor, which then reflects the light back up into the mylar, which reflects it at a 45 degree angle into the audience. So if you have something horizontal on the floor and... Like a girl on drugs. At 45 degrees, the final image, as you see here on stage,

is going to appear perpendicular. Oh, my God. I set that up in a ladies' in a in the mall it didn't work it was just deflecting under the stall and it bounced back but it ended up on the wall and the uh you know what appliances department and i was asked to leave true story that's pretty fucking great isn't it though what the hell's going on out here i don't know i was born in 62 i was born a few months before kennedy was shot so i'm cleared but you believe that fucking shit i feel like my grandfather did we always say about my grandfather because he died at 90

imagine the changes he saw he was born in 1885. He saw TV, radio fucking running, whatever. Now I'm feeling like that. But I got no kids who are going to say, imagine what, Daddy? I just have nieces and nephews that go, Jesus, he was an asshole. We have all this footage to prove it. Why did they preserve Uncle Nick's shit? Quite a legacy of hate he left. Speaking of hate, I don't like the border operation that is going on now in our country. Did you see this woman,

Jacobson, spokesman for Biden? She's talking about what's going on at the border. Senorita Jacobson es muy estupido. I wrote that myself, so you can see I did well in school. Is that a woman, really? Jesus Christ, got hands like Larry Bird. White House National Security Council advisor Roberta Jacobson mistakenly told migrants that the southern border was open

during the White House press briefing on Wednesday. During the briefing, Jacobson switched from English to Spanish and said, La frontera no esta cerrada. The border is not closed. It was a Freudian slip, obviously. After a White House aide handed her a slip of paper later on that said in the briefing, it corrected her and told her to say uh the the border is closed uh i love when politicians remember beto o'rourke when he at least he was i guess he had some hispanic in him at least he could do it a little bit but i loved one like jeb

bushwood because he had a spanish fucking nephew or something in law. I remember he'd go, hola, zapatos, ventana, camellia. What? Yellow shoes out the window. I don't know. Remind me to tell you my great racist joke

when Obama was in office. One of my best. I just thought of shoes and presidents. Let's take a look at her trying to speak Spanish like a chooch. Así que yo creo que es muy importante subrayar el caso que la frontera no está cerrada. The border is not closed. We stupid, though, huh?

Yeah. How do you say that in Spanish? El fucking idiot. Twatsonio. Jacobson acknowledged during the briefing the administration was struggling with the issue of mixed messages by trying to signal hope to potential migrants

for a path into the country while also reminding them of the dangers of the journey. Yes, this has been going on for how many years and they don't know the dangers of what the hell is that? Is that a flatbed truck? Oh, my God. It looks like the goddamn El Macy's Day parade. Here come the governor's trophy float. here come the governor's trophy float this is called el brano they're just pouring in guys it's a crisis they put up numbers last night on tv of what they were calling a crisis a couple years ago and this is like fucking the number's like four times higher and biden and his spokesman are out there saying no el crisis yo i mean how fucking embarrassing yo whoa i'm

stuck in the spanish yo i will certainly agree jacobson said we are trying to walk and chew gum at the same time but he as she says you know my boss can't even walk or chew gum at separate times because he's 111 on tuesday as s oh, the little red beaver told reporters, we are not trying to close our borders and said the priority was to create an effective moral humane system. Meanwhile, they're putting kids in cages again. You hypocritical fucks. More kids are showing up without parents.

All the shit that they try to project on Trump who had a handle on it. Go interview anybody that lives on the border. Interview the border police. Interview ICE. They all tell you Trump had this thing under hand. And then the jerk offs come in. And why are they doing it? Don't ever forget why.

So they can have the Spanish brown vote locked up for the next thousand years. Here's my theory. Even if they come in, even the people who come in are going to go, these people are nuts. We came here for the American dream, not the communist dream. I wish they would do that. There wouldn't know communism if it bit in the clit, some of these people, but oh, that's gross. Let me have some coffee. Wouldn't that be funny? They get here and they they're like this is not what we signed up for jacobson blamed the surge of migrants under president joe biden on the hope that's why i never hope for anything i always go it's not gonna work always hope for the worst i mean predict the

worst and then uh you know what people go and then when something good happens you'll be presently surprised it's never happened good. I've always been right. 99.9% of the time, life's a fucking series of flat tires and cold sores and AIDS. Who's with me? She said, on President Joe Biden, I hope that the new administration offered compared to that of former President Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah.

He offered no. He offered nothing. Meanwhile, Hispanic unemployment at former President Donald Trump. Yeah, yeah, he offered no, he offered nothing. Meanwhile, Hispanic unemployment at record lows under Trump. Do you understand what you're doing to the people that Trump got jobs? These unskilled people, half-educated, pouring in, and whose jobs are they going to, who are they going to fight with? Hispanics who are here illegally and legally. Some of them are the illegals that are here, the 11 million.

It's really about 30 million. They put in. They do. They work hard, blah, blah, blah. But you know what? You're cutting their legs off. How the fuck the Republicans don't win a thousand elections in a row is beyond me. I don't like this guy, okay?

I want to tell you. And oh, the other thing, I'm watching footage of the people coming over. I saw, the footage was literally 10 seconds long. I saw three women that were about 14 months pregnant. The fucking kid's hand was sticking out and they just handed him one of those things for court to show up in here.

Honest to God, I saw three women who were about to burst. That's right. Bring them in. Anchor babies. You're not going to recognize this country if this shit goes on for another fucking six months. But that's what the Dems want. That's what Obama wants.

Oh, yeah, my Obamager. Shoe. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. I was listening to Glenn Beck, and they brought up the shoe-throwing incident when Bush was, remember the Middle Eastern reporter whipped his shoe at Bush? So I went down. I saw it that day. I had a set at the cellar that night.

I go, did you see that? Fucking guy threw a shoe at our president's head. I go, you know, I hate Obama, but if I showed up at a press conference, I wouldn't take off my shoe and throw it at his head unless it needed shining. You know? And that's the type of stuff that, I don't know, people laughed at back then. They loved it. Black, white, Hispanic.

I don't know, people laughed at it back then. They loved it. Black, white, Hispanic. Anyways, don't ever forget when you're listening to me or you're watching the news or reading a newspaper, keep this in mind as the backdrop. The election was stolen from Trump. Keep that in mind when you're listening because the lies get magnified

when they come out of the left's mouth. Anyways, we have more evidence that he got fucked over, more evidence that Trump was robbed. 90,000 ballots in largest Nevada county sent to wrong addresses bounced back. Just 90,000. Clark County, which includes the Las Vegas metro area, made the extraordinary move to mail ballots to all the nearly 1.3 million active voters in the country instead of just those who requested them. Of course, they did that under the guise of keeping people away because of COVID. Ugh, all a pretext, right? More than 450,000 voters cast their votes through the mail-in ballots. But get this, more than 92,000 ballots were returned by the Postal Service as undeliverable,

according to the Public Interest Legal Foundation. That's PILF. I'll send you a PILF t-shirt if you watch the show. March 10th research. You believe that? 92,000 bounced back. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Does anybody still believe he's a president legitimately?

I'm going to find out what the hell happens here. Okay, Sidney. The number is based on data provided in February by Clark County voter registrar Joe Gloria, the brief says. The Clark County election office didn't immediately respond to a request for calm. Really? They didn't get right back to you and say, yeah, we cheated. Mass mail balloting is a step backward for American elections. There are millions of voter registration records with unreliable active addresses, information that will ultimately send ballots to the wrong place in a mail election. PILF president, J. Christian Adams, said that.

Look at him. You're going to argue with John Candy's nephew? Come on! Who's with me here? You are correct, sir. So, like I said, all these bills they're passing, they're codifying all the cheating they did. They did, because it all worked.

The entire state of Nevada reported, listen to this, listen to this stat. The entire state of Nevada reported only 5,863 mail ballots returned undeliverable in the 2012, 2014, and 2016 and 2018 general elections combined. and 2018 general elections combined come four elections and they only had 5600 plus returned you believe that shit referring to the u.s election assistance commission surveys adams also took aim at the hr1 election reform bill that was recently passed by the democrat controlled house of representatives the nearly 800 page bill oh by the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives, the nearly 800-page bill. Oh, by the way, did you hear how many bills is in the Rescue America bill that they just passed, the $1.9 trillion? You know how many pages it was? And they gave the Republicans the day before to read 5,500 and something. There's your healing there's your bipartisan reach across the aisle and bring us together you fucking dirty dirty dirty girls the nearly 800 page bill will largely

shift power over elections to the federal government it would discard state voter id laws allow for same-day voter registration ban witness signature requirements boy that is coming out and say why don't you say steal steal steal for mail-in ballots and require that mail-in ballots can arrive as late as 10 days after election day as long uh as it post stamped by election day so these things eventually our elections are going to run into fucking june like hockey scene it would also make it a federal crime listen to this to communicate or cause to be communicated information that is knowingly false and designed to discourage voting and require a plethora of other measures have Have you ever heard of such fucking outright nonsense

in your life? No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Yeah, that ignorance makes them win. Just fucking codifying all the horse shit. Literally. Hey, and you know how it says they'll punish you if you miscommunicate

and try to discourage vote? That's what all the red states by trying to pass ID laws, they will be punished. I told you that article a couple of days ago. You'll lose seats in the House. They designed it so if you're literally trying to have a clean election, like we used to have, I guess, at least it looked like it optically, you're going to get punished. These guys are hard.

If this, the Democrats, if they were a gang to be MS-13, I'll tell you, man, I'll get sick of this shit, okay? NCS is, isn't that a show on CBS? NCS is Roberta Jacobson. sick of this shit okay ncs is uh isn't that a show on cbs ncs is roberta jacobson why is this coming in now oh it's part of the article ncs roberta jacobson inadvertently admitted that biden administration open board policies are causing the current uh migrant crisis. Here she is a couple days ago. She's actually, she inadvertently admitted that they're causing a crisis. First of all, one of the things I think is important is we've seen surges before. Surges tend to respond to hope. And there was a significant hope for a more humane policy after four years of you know pent up demand

so i don't know whether i would call that a coincidence but i certainly think that the idea that a more humane policy would be in place may have driven people to make that decision all right she just admitted it's his policies acting as a fucking magnet i would tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again is what biden said to her um it's so obvious the administration plans to send get this folks a staggering $4 billion, with a B, dollars, okay? $4 billion, I'll repeat that. Son of a whore! To Central American communities, which are most likely to send migrants

in a desperate bid to stop the migrant crisis. What you'll see is that $4 billion in Central American Northern Triangle strategy will be part of our foreign assistance request and will focus on the things we know that work jacobson said she doesn't mention that it's our money she doesn't mention that it's our fucking money and it's being used to ruin our country just think about that's your money folks some people don't even realize it. That's your tax money. Welcoming fucking

third worlders to change our culture permanently. How the fuck did we get here? You know how I should have studied political science. I could have changed the world at D minus. I actually

had one political science class and I loved it. I was asked to leave the room twice because they said no you can't say shit like that I said come on it's 1983 we're in Maine who's gonna hear it my buddy sent a team picture of a you know he played with me up at Maine so fucking hilarious

there's like 88 guys in the picture there's like two black guys you can't play football like two black guys. You can't play football with two black guys, even back then. Jacobson added, we know how to get money to communities that are most likely to send migrants. What they're doing is trying to pay them off. You get it?

Here, here's four fucking zillion. Keep your dirty people there. That should be an insult to them too. But she says most likely to send migrants, but also that are suffering the greatest effects of two hurricanes this season, et cetera.

Oh my God. Shut up. What is it? Shut up. Shut up. So it's our job. It's our, you know, do you see how you be,

you taxpayers who are paying for this are being put last? They're letting people in illegally, number one. And here's the outrage. A lot of them have COVID. They're telling you you can't run your fucking business. Stay in the house. And they're letting these motherfuckers, putting them on buses to your town.

You come last. And you're paying for it. If there's not a revolution now, I don't know when there's going to be one, but somebody tell me. Make sure I'm not on the road when it breaks out. Hate to be doing

zanies. Go back to the red roof and put on the TV. And see go back to the red roof and put on the TV and see my wife on the front steps with my AR. It would be kind of funny. I want to welcome Caliper CBD to the Nick DiPaolo family. I found these guys when I was looking for a good way to be less sore after workouts that wasn't an oil. And look, you know I'm telling the truth.

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you speed up the wear and tear on your joints, I got to believe. What's funny is I destroyed both shoulders, reconstructed both of them, and I have no pain there unless I do things like eat and have a drink but you know anyways you know what we haven't mentioned today the word racist have we have we brought that up yet well you know we couldn't do a show without it this is america the most racist place on the planet. Headline, insane Bloomberg Businessweek cover story question. This is the question on Bloomberg's public. Is the tax code racist?

Well, I don't know if Whitey invented it. It must be, huh? The cover of the new issue led with a picture of Emory University law professor Dorothy, that's right, Brown, another Whitey hater, who made the argument that the tax code is racist. The picture was captioned with a leading question. Is the tax code racist? I say no.

Next story. Ha ha, walk, walk, walk. The actual story headline was just as bad. A tax code optimized for white wealth leaves black americans behind i can't take it oh boy you yes i'm sure tiger woods and any pro uh athlete who's black has really been getting fucked over ask pacman jones he'll help you out with the taxes or willie nelson ask him if it's racist the piece propagandized brown's history and bloviated how in quotes as a teenager brown thought she'd found

a way out a loophole in american racism taking an accountant class the self-described math geek discovered the u.s tax code of course she's black, the article had nothing to do with simplifying the tax code for all Americans. On the contrary, the piece backed Brown's apparent effort to make white people pay more in taxes. Fucking genius, huh? What you just said. I didn't. She said it is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. Miss Brown, why don't you get a room with Joy Reid and all the other black women who, you know, have done pretty well for themselves,

still screaming racism. The article continued to push Brown's theses based on a radical upcoming book called The Whiteness of Wealth. White power, one, two, three. Brown spent a quarter century, that's 25 years for you math geeks, trying to prove the opposite of the notion that the only color the tax law sees is green. That although tax laws may appear to be colorblind, they still discriminate against black Americans, she says. Now that Asaga Greggs Candler, professor of law at Emory University, Brown is, she's a professor at a great university and she's crying racism. She's preparing to publish a book that's a culmination of years of research titled The Whiteness of Wealth, how the tax system impoverishes black Americans and how we can fix it.

And I say to her, shut your fucking mouth. Shut the fuck up, you cunt. Oh, take it easy. Oh. Wow. I'm a victim wah this whole generation to have she's a professor spreading her fucking victimhood to all her people all you know whoever whatever fucking student she has don't you see people on the left saying crazy shit that are like in their 20s and 30s and you go oh my god they're filled with it they Isn't it? That's what I see. I see a product of just literally a victim of brainwashing. If you're a victim, that's the one thing you're a victim of, being brainwashed by the left.

It's so corrosive to tell black people this country is race and to start teaching it in kindergarten and K through 12. Do you understand how corrosive that is? It can only end bad. Business Week was giddy that President Joe Biden could take Brown's research to a new level. Just hours after being sworn in on January 20th, the fake president signed an executive order

creating a cross-agency group with a mandate to address systemic racism in the United States government. He thinks he's at the Cheesecakes factory. He goes, where are the scallops I had last night? Brown's reform plan would arbitrarily strip the tax code of exemptions. Listen to this, and deductions. That's the only way we can save money. That's their advantages to white Americans.

You know why we're the ones who benefit that? Because we own shit and we worked hard and we bought a house. Sorry. Stop having kids out of wedlock and you can do the same. That's the whole message here as far as curing this racist shit. All income, she says, should be taxable, she says. No more exclusions for gifts, inheritance, or property sale. No more tax, really? No exclusions for gifts? All right, there goes preparation. Preparations? Reparations. Wow.

They got me so scared I can't even say the word. Exclusion of gifts, inheritance, or property sales. She said that in Business Week. And Jim Jordan replied, you fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready.

No, that was Matt Gaetz. Business Week said Brown's racially charged book comes at an opportune time, but the magazine appeared to undercut Brown's arguments when it admitted that the Internal Revenue Service doesn't take race into account when it analyzes its giant trove of tax data. To prove her arguments, said Businessweek, To prove her arguments, said Businessweek, Brown had to laboriously stitch together information from dozens of other sources to prove her book theses. The best evidence, according to Businessweek, was the sheer size and persistence of the racial wealth gap. Which is totally horseshit.

Are you interested in the real story? Yes. Two Cato experts. That's a think tank, folks. Okay. Two Cato experts, Chris Edwards and Ray Bork. No, I'm kidding. Ryan Bourne have already debunked the idea of using wealth inequality in quotes as a reliable measure for understanding the status of poor americans they wrote and this

makes perfect sense even me a money dummy realizes when everybody does good even the poor get lifted we're the only country where people under the poverty line have two cars in the fucking driveway, flat screen TV, air conditioning. Shut your hole and I'm paying for it. Anyways, they wrote, measures of wealth inequality do not tell us anything about the well-being of the poor, which is more important focus for public policy than inequality. Poverty may fall as wealth inequality rises, such as when entrepreneurs build fortunes by generating economic growth. That's what they never get.

They never get. They badmouth people with, you know, Buffett with his zillions and, you know, even fucking Mitt Romney, you know how many people he's employed with staples

and, do you get it, folks? That's the economy. That's what makes the country run. The guy who, Sam Walmart or Sam whatever his fuck is. Yeah, Walton, fucking zillionaire. How many people, you know? Do you understand? Everybody.

Poor black and brown people need a job. They don't get it. Or they do and they just ignore it. There's no better system on the planet. And you know how I know that? Because nobody can point to one. Okay? So suck it and swallow it. I am. Hey. Somebody else we haven't mentioned in six minutes. The horniest governor on the land. This guy makes Bill Clinton look like a homo.

Again, though, I really think it's a lot of hashtag me too. Like I said, he didn't get blown under his desk that we know of. Maybe that woman's staying quiet. What's the sense of being powerful? And let me tell you something, folks. Do you know why people want to get power? Once again, it comes down to pussy. I swear on my mother's eyes.

Do you remember Henry Kissinger? He said, power is the best aphrodisiac. Even that guy got laid. He was frightening with his Coke bottle glasses, smart as a whip. Women love powerful men. It's the only reason you get up and try to make money and have a nice house and cars. Who are you doing that for? Your wife?

I don't think so. I mean, what? She doesn't watch this show anymore. It's true. Somebody once said this. it's my favorite quote um basically i'm paraphrasing but he says um civilization evolved as a result of men trying to meet the demands and expectations of women and it's true i had a bit on my album. I said, if the first two cavemen are gay, we'd still be living in caves. You know what I mean? It goes on, but I can't remember the funny part.

CNN, MSNBC both go a full 24 hours without on-air mention of Andrew Cuomo's sixth accuser. That's right. Another one came forward. Good for you, Andy. Get that schlong out there. Show them who's a boss and how he's a. On Tuesday afternoon, the Albany Times Union newspaper reported that an unnamed staffer alleged that Cuomo touched her with a pencil sharpener.

What? No, touched her without her consent at the executive mansion late last year and that her supervisors were recently made aware of the incident. Cuomo later reiterated his stance that he never touched anyone inappropriately or made any inappropriate advances. Now, that's a little hard for me or anybody else to swallow, isn't it? I think so. or anybody else to swallow, isn't it? I think so. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. He wasn't lying when he said that.

He had no relations. He just got blown under the desk, finger popped her hair in there, but there was no chit-chat, no presents, no gifts. The kind of relationship we all strive for, right, fellas? Both CNN and MSNBC have yet to inform their millions of gay viewers about the new allegation, according to Grabian transcripts. Neither CNN nor NBC's websites

address the claims as well. You know why that is? Can you stay categorical? You are fake news. Exactly, you fucks. While ABC's Good Morning America and CBS This Morning both addressed the allegation

on wednesday uh nbc's today did not nbc is the most in the tank fucking left-wing horseshit all three networks avoided the story on their tuesday evening news broadcasts yeah i can see why it's not like he was important during the COVID thing. It's not like he has the blood of fucking 15,000 octogenarian on his hands. Yeah, let's avoid, let's not. Fucking shameless. The Times Union published another damning to the mansion under the apparent pretext of having her assist the governor with a minor technical issue involving his mobile phone, probably on something like this. Cindy, I'm trying to send you a dick pic,

and this thing keeps coming back to me. So I'll just show it to you, and we're out. The Times Junior reported reported according to a source with direct knowledge they were alone in cuomo's private residence on the second floor when he closed the door and allegedly reached under her blouse and began to fondle her and of course she got scared she got scared. She's in the room alone with her boss who's apparently a maniac. They have audio of it. Places the lotion in the basket. Please.

Please. I want to go home. Please. He places the lotion in the basket. I want to see my mommy. Please basket I want to see my mommy please no I want to see my governor

leave her alone put the fucking lotion in the basket put the fucking lotion in the basket I love how his voice changes oh god that guy played a great role now yeah he served me french fries at sonics the report continued the person who was not authorized to comment publicly said the woman who was much younger than cuomo told the governor to stop her broader allegations include that he frequently engaged in flirtatious behavior with her and that it was not the only time that he had touched her holy moly

oh that dirty cocksucker cuomo denied the allegations but called the report details gut-wrenching i don't even know why you would say that. That sort of leans that you did it. The absent coverage of Cuomo's alleged sexual misconduct pales in comparison, which is true, to the coverage the networks gave to the allegations against now Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. Remember, he was in a gang rape and killed everybody, raped people during his 2018 confirmation battle. You see the double stand? It's fucking sickening. MSNBC,

how dare you? Still on the air. You know? And they accuse Fox and these other channels of misinformation. We are living on two different planets, but we're not. We're living in the same country, which means it's going to end the violence. Let's keep our fingers crossed. I don't know. Hey, everybody, I want to thank you guys and share some photos I got from our pal Mike in Connecticut. People are buying merchandise and oh my God, I didn't see this one. What a cutie.

My mug's being used as a chew toy. Look at that fucking dog. I love that dog. What's in the glass? I wonder what he put in the glass. Find out that Mike put, you know. El Poe, the dog's been starved for a week. Yeah, but 10, you'll like this coffee mug.

This is Teeter, and he's got the official Nick DiPaolo show mug. I hope he don't pee-pee in it. That is an adorable dog. Uh, anyway, grab yourself a Nick DiPaolo show hat, t-shirt or mug on my website at nick.com. And if you have a photo that you want us to share on the show, send it to us, uh, through my website as well. Again, everything is at nickdip.com. And I thank you guys. You're really the best fans in the world. And more t-shirt shots, ladies.

I don't care if you're 650 pounds. I don't discriminate here. Jason likes heavyset broads. He likes them thick, he said. I want to thank the people who donate to this show. Financially, it's what keeps me up and going. It's the reason I can drive a 1978 Toyota Corolla. Jared Fusia, Maryland.

Hunter's crying niece, Kentucky. Kevin McArdle, Massachusetts. Paul Sagnelli, Connecticut. Don Roberson, California. Chris Vaccarelli, my buddy up in New York. Bree Ann Hernandez. I think I met her at a show, Arizona. New monthly supporters, Horse Choker, Mark Cheater, Tiffany Eichel, California. Jason Chappelle, Texas. Daniel Haley Mississippi thank you guys for signing up for the monthly subscription to the show I mean you do that again you get an extra story every day

nobody else gets and you get to come to my house and cut my lawn it's a great deal for everybody I don't that's the beauty of my house down here I don't not that I'm going to cut my lawn. I'm going to hire, I like to hire people and boss them around from other countries. I'm hiring, trying to find white guys from Ireland.

But if I had to cut my lawn down here, it'd be about, take me about 18 minutes maybe as opposed to when I was up in Westchester County and I was on a sit down lawn mower, I'd have to pack a lunch and fucking say to my wife, I'll see you Tuesday. I actually tipped over the law. We had a slant.

You've been in my house, Jason. The front yard, there was a slant from the driveway down to a brook. I mean, it's deep one. And I used to cut a teeter on the top of that. Fuck. One day I cut the wheel and I'm heading for the brook with my legs like this. And I'm listening to Pavarotti as I'm fucking. I knew enough to hit the button that shuts the blade off right into the fucking brook.

Had to call my great neighbor, the crafts. Mr. Robert Craft came out and helped me pull up. What an asshole. I am a Mama Luke. Speaking of assholes, this guy had a bit of an attitude, in my opinion. I don't want to come down too hard on him. California man killed his wife, then propped up her body on a sofa for their children as they opened presents on Christmas morning. Prosecutors allege this week.

Oh, my God. What a naughty guy william wallace is his name and he's black is william wallace you can take her life you can take her life William Wallace 39 allegedly told the kids that his 26 year old wife uh Zazelle Preston was drunk as they unwrapped presents at their Anaheim home in front of her body the disturbing scene from December 2011 was described as Wallace's murder trial got underway this Monday. Prosecutors allege that the couple, who shared a newborn son as well as Preston's, oh God, two daughters, then age three and eight at the time, had gone to a neighbor's Christmas

Eve party before her sudden death almost 10 years ago. Here's a picture. How fucking horrible. Kids are growing up. One, without, and he's going to, so now no mother and he'll be in prison. And we wonder why things keep stuck in neutral. One neighbor said they heard the couple arguing later that night after they returned. So she talked to somebody.

Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. Wallace allegedly told one of Preston's relatives that in quotes that we were drinking during the argument. I tossed her around a bit. Can you fucking imagine? The next morning, Wallace dragged his wife's body from the bedroom to the living room where he placed her on the couch with sunglasses. What is this weekend at Wallace's? Mommy ruined Christmas. It's not bad enough he killed her then he tells the kids mummy ruined christmas she got drunk and ruined christmas he allegedly

told the children what a scumbucket this guy is huh god you're a real crumbum it's unclear who called 9-1-1 but when parics arrived, she was slumped over on the couch. Prosecutors said police discovered blood throughout the apartment, in addition to holes punched in walls in a door that was off the hinges. Wallace was arrested and has remained in custody on $1 million of bail for nine years as he awaited trial. as he awaited trial. His lawyer argued that Wallace wasn't responsible for Preston's sudden death. You gotta be dog-styling me. Insisting that she died from injuries

after she drunkenly tripped and fell into a coffee table. That's something I would say as a kid, and I did when I spilled blood in our living room playing hockey or whatever the fuck. Does anybody believe this scumbag? You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. Mr. Wallace is being accused of something

that is not at all his fault. How do these lawyers sleep at night? There's blood all over the apartment, holes punched, the doors off the hinges. But she tripped. Boy, she must have been tripping for like 20 minutes knocking holes in the wall. Accused of something that is not his fault.

Heather Moorhead told jurors, you will hear about a relationship that was full of arguing and yelling, but also a lot of love, she says. Can you fucking imagine making a living like that? If convicted of first degree murder, Wallace could face up to 25 years to life in the goddamn slammer. Let's hope that happens. Come back here.

No. And tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. Yeah, well, your freedom's taken, son. Enjoy being boned in the ass for the next 25 to life. California. Speaking of California cal let's stay in california panda express workers pressured oh was this this might not have been california might have been ohio i don't know uh pan panda huh california too panda express workers were pressured to strip at cult-like seminar according to a a lawsuit. A former Panda Express worker in California claims in a lawsuit that the

Chinese fast food joint pressured her and her coworkers to attend a seminar where they were made to strip down to their underwear, an account-like ritual. Wow. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. christy get down on your knees so sabrina can see your asshole the 23 year old former employee who worked at the santa clarita location from 2016 through july 2019 alleges she was told by the store manager that she needed to take a self-improvement seminar which she and other employees understood they had to complete to be considered for promotion, according to a report by the LA Daily News. So the woman, whose name was withheld by the outlet, paid for the four-day seminar herself

and was eager to improve her skills and advance within the company, which is understandable. Oh my God, is that a stripper there? The woman attended the seminar hosted by Alive Seminars that took place in an East Los Angeles warehouse. Well, there's the first sign that in July 2019 with 20 to 50 other workers. to sit in silence and left alone for an hour before men came in screaming at them in Spanish for not doing anything as they've been previously instructed to. What is going on out there? Where's Tony Robbins when you need him? Then a drill sergeant like seminar employee yelled that they were nothing

and telling them they don't matter, the suit alleges. Well, I understand that. Who said that? Oh, Panda Express. Who the fuck said that? Somebody at Panda Express. The seminar had an atmosphere of a site

for off-the-books interrogation of terrorist suspects, in quotes, where the attendees weren't allowed to use their phones, windows were blocked by dark sheets, and there were no clocks, the suit claims. Nevertheless, most attendees, including the plaintiff, felt that they had no choice but to remain because they were sent to the seminar by Panda Express and told that their opportunity for promotion would depend on completion of the seminar. Let me ask you something, Panda Express and told that their opportunity for promotion would depend on completion of the seminar. Let me ask you something, Panda Express. Do you check out

when you hire a contractor to do seminars like this? First of all, why aren't you involved? You know what I mean? Later in the seminar, do you vet them or are you like Joe Biden going, yeah, what's he, Ecuadorian? All right. Later in the seminar, the plaintiff was allegedly pressured to strip down to her underwear with other co-workers. Well, we used to do this at lunchtime when I work with that meat company. Well, they all tried to make the whole group believe them as they screamed out about their inner struggles as part of a trust-building exercise. This is that psychobabble fucking left-wing California hate-Ashbury-buggin' new-age psychology. The woman was allegedly forced to hug one man who was also in his underwear. Now, why is that bad?

As he wept. Oh. You know how many times a woman has hugged me in my underwear and I wept when I was young and blew a load after 12 seconds? As he wept because he was not convincing enough during the exercise you can act like a man what's the matter i'm trying to i just want to be a waiter the alive seminar workers allegedly then dim the lights and told them all to keep their eyes closed as they imagined that a light from above was removing their negative energy. That's why I stay negative.

This could happen to you. And a hole in the ground was swallowing the negative energy. A seminar worker was allegedly capturing the moment, including the victim in her underwear with the cell phone. I couldn't find it. Could you? I wanted to see a girl in her underwear. And a guy. I'll tell you you i'm very open-minded but i couldn't find it anyway it took me about three hours one attendee was

monitored while inside the bathroom and another person who needed to throw up was given a trash can to hurl in front of the group this makes you a better employee folks have you ever eaten at panda express is that like food court shit probably right yeah that's when you know it's real good chinese food it's a foot from the foot locker and fucking radio shack some of the best uh some of the best peaking duck i've ever had there's a cross from fucking bed bathroom the woman finally fled the bizarre gathering claiming that she had a family emergency she ended up quitting her job because of the emotional

distress caused by the getaway she alleges the woman brought claims of sexual battery hostile work environment, and intentional infliction of emotional distress against Panda Restaurant Group. Alive seminars and coaching academy, she sued all of them, and a Los Angeles County Superior Court last month.

So, I got a feeling she might win that one. Counselor! Counselor! Yes. And finally tonight, I'm giving you a little extra here, folks, because it's Thursday. Do you guys remember Maranovich, the quarterback? Maranovich, am I saying his name right for the Raiders?

He's a redheaded kid. Maranovich. He was pretty goddamn good in college, and they dropped him. His dad, remember, he had never had fast food in his life. His old man was like a nut, wouldn't let him eat anything unhealthy. And I think he ended up hating his dad, believe it or not. But anyways, this reminded me of that fitness obsessed dad made daughter sign a contract to never get fat. Let me tell you something.

We can laugh at that guy. But boy, I wish some of the fathers in this country would do it. Have you been to the mall or the airport or the beach lately? Every fucking person is at least not five or ten pounds overweight. I mean huge. Nick, that's sexist. I don't give a shit. If I had a daughter, I'd go sign this.

You're going to do 400 chin-ups in front of me every morning until you're 36. What's her name? Rashid Khadla, 56. That's the guy. Excuse me, the father. Faces charges of child cruelty and assault. This is a good picture. I'm hiding his fucking face.

Over his alleged treatment of his now adult daughter, Amira, and sons, Hickam and Karam. What the fuck are you? What kind of names are these? What kind of people are these, Henry? Hyde News Pictures reported, this is the contract the daughter had to sign. I, Amera Kadla, will never let myself get fat. I will do lots of exercise to make sure I will never get fat

even until I die. to make sure I will never get fat even until I die. Kadi's daughter wrote in her 2012 agreement, a court had heard. Oh my God. What? Nothing for you. I gotta say, it worked.

This is her, how she was. And you just saw how she ended up. So can we really get mad at this fucking guy? I kidding i don't know who that pig is that's a beautiful young lady again you don't have to have him sign a contract but who's for this right and you know what happened i went from this i went down one of those fucking internet rabbit holes last night I went to um you know fathers abusing their kids and I started pulling these disturbing clips up some middle eastern fucking jerk off he had like a stick and he was making his kid who looked like about 10 or 12 put his bare feet in the end he was cracking him with a stick on the feet. I watched that shit. I got a nut off. Anyway,

Nick, for the love of God, Amara's domineering dad also allegedly assaulted her regularly, hitting her with a spoon. Now, I got the spoon treatment. If you're talking wooden spoon, and that hurt when I was little,

but my mother didn't think I was like in eighth grade, and they started breaking on my forearms, and she'd cry because she had nothing to stir the sauce with and then my dad would hit her i mean it was ugly it was no but i did get the wooden spoons they bust over your head when you get older and shit can i tell you a quick fucking funny story there was a ball a game called skittle bowl you guys probably don't remember you set up these wooden pins in a shape like bowling pins and there was a stick with a ball and chain on it. And you, you know, you threw the

ball. It came around and knocked over the pins. Me and my brother playing that. And we got in a fight where my mother comes running down. I hate this goddamn game. She pulled the stick up and the ball whipped around at about 400 miles. And I hit her right in the fucking floor. It sounded like Moe hitting Shemp with a hammer. And here's the difference between me and my brother. I was belly laughing and he was crying because my mom had an egg. Now do you understand why I am the way I am? Fucking thing came around at the speed of like, oh, my God. If I think of it now, I'll start laughing. I love her.

Don't get me wrong. Assaulted her. The father assaulted this girl, regularly hitting her with a spoon, punching her in the chest. What a piece of shit. And even once throwing a chair at her and decided what she could wear, just outside of London, was always consumed with his kids' girth and would weigh them to make sure they didn't pack on the pounds. What a weird...

Drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. I know, but weighing them every day. He also choked his now 18-year-old son and beat the children with spoons if he believed they had misbehaved coddler's wife of 27 years this poor lady sarah did not intervene in the abuse but supported his prosecution saying he had a quick temper you don't say the you know what i blame you too for bringing an asshole like this into your fucking kids' lives. I'm sure it didn't just start happening.

Who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. The father was reportedly aggravated by his younger son, Hickam, who had learning difficulties. That's a good reason to punch your son and choke him, because he had learning disabilities. In October 2019, he allegedly attacked the boy for being too slow when he was cleaning his sister's room. Come on, God damn it. Let's go, let's go, let's go. I don't know why he was in the car, but he punched Hickam to the chest a number of times,

then pushed him onto his sister's bed, Prosecutor Alex Kirkler said. He then placed both hands around his neck and strangled him for quite some time, five to ten seconds. Clean that room! Clean it! Before pulling him up, punching him in the chest, and walking away, he said.

Hickam had tried to say stop, but had been unable to speak. Yeah, it's hard to talk when you're being choked. A lot of you girls know that. He could not breathe, and although the marks left behind the strangulation were relatively minor, the incident was extremely frightening, Kirk added. Hickam told his mother the next day that his father had crossed the line, then shared his ordeal with schoolmates while the family celebrated his sister's university

graduation the boys his friends told their teachers what Hickam had told them and the staff informed the cops who arrested this scumbag that evening his father would make him put his hands out and would smack the palms of his hands with a wooden spoon he also described how his father would push and punch him on occasions throwing throwing things at him. The abuse was not just physical. The defendant would also threaten extreme violence that he would splatter the kid's brains across the ceiling and kill him. Definitely Middle Eastern. His father would tell him that he was weak.

You wonder why this psych goes out there? You want to know if this kid grows up to be a psychic, you blame him. The eldest son, Kareem, now 26, recounted the control and temper and the violence and being struck in the head so forcefully when he was 15 that it knocked him over. Candler claimed the attack that he attacked Hickam in self-defense, saying he was afraid of his enraged son, so he tried to restrain him. Yeah, that's how you restrain them. Put your hands out. When asked how he would discipline his children, he said, when they were younger, I would just smack them on the bottom. But otherwise, he said that he had never beaten or physically chastised them.

I should be put to death. I'm going to kill you, you lying cocksucker! guy should be put to death he denied threatening children or physically hurting them saying that he sometimes shouted but that was it he denied controlling his children codler faces three counts of child cruelty two counts of assault uh occasioning an actual bodily harm so uh bye bye dickhead yeah see you later scumbag that's the one thing that bothers me if i had a if i was rich enough that i could donate to charities i got a lot of money that would be the first one abuse kids because they're i see those commercials for the aspca with the dogs and oh people and i understand that i love animals too but pam anderson and wouldn't you put your millions there's a food chain the kids are above the

fucking cats and i don't know to each his his own. But that one really fucking gets me. And I read so many stories when I was living in New York that it would ruin my day, you know, and then you still think of them years later. It's horrible. Anyways, I thought I'd end on a light note for you kids. Have a good weekend. Don't let me beat your face. And that is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen.

Again, thank you. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com to sign up for the show there, the ultimate home. Cameo.com, if you want me to roast one of your friends, relatives, enemies, go to cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person. I'll make a video on my phone, a personal message, and send it to that person and make and break the day. I love roasting them. And people love to be roasted. They don't take it personally. They love it. Most of the people are fans of the show and that's why their friends

requested. So cameo.com. Uh, that is it. I think you guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday.

Have a great weekend, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.