The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden's Behavior "Barely Legal" | Nick DiPaolo #344

Episode Date: May 4, 2020

Pompeo says Wuhan started it. Pilot says FU to Michigan Gov. NitWitmer. Motorcycle monkey steals baby. Thank you Michael K. from Kansas City, MO for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hello, I'm Mike Lindell. My pillow, you just look at it, you pass out. It's a fucking magic pillow. Invented by a guy who was on crack. Pretty ironic. We never sleep. Anyways, guys, just want to say that this is the show right now.

People are starving for it, obviously. The thing's growing like we hoped it would. And you know why that is? Nowhere else can you hear the truth. I deliver the news. That stuff's right out of the papers, right off the websites. But we make it funny and entertaining. We know you guys are locked in your house and you need some relief.

And people, Trump's approval ratings are up even during this pandemic. So things are looking up. And I really can't thank you guys enough. As you know, we've gone free a couple of weeks ago, Monday through Thursday. So we need you to contribute as much as you can at NickDip.com. You can make a single one-time contribution. And if you want to do more, you can sign up at Patreon.com. one-time contribution.

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We all want to get back to work. I can't wait to get on stage again. I'm climbing the walls. And, but you guys make this possible uh so we we thank you for that uh that's about it so what i want you to do right now is to uh enjoy the show so enjoy guitar solo Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's that time again, folks.

You believe it's Monday again. May the 4th, I think it is. Jesus H. Christ, I'll be dead in 8 to 10 minutes. It's scary, man. I'll tell you, Europe had it right with those 4-day work weeks. Oh, don't worry, I do some

heavy gardening on the weekend. I'm not sitting around. Literally, I'm sitting on the steps, smoking this thing. My wife's fucking like grouting the driveway. Got any more of that fucking Snapple? I am useless other than this. Useless.

I just said useless. How are you folks? Are you corona free? Are you social distancing? If you are, you big puss. Okay. It's a bad cold is what it is. Get out there, unless you're 70 and live

on Snickers and fucking pork rinds. You'll be aight. Anyways, I might speak Italian during the show because I'm watching this Gamora about a Naples crime family in Italy, and my God, they make black people look like Amish people when it comes to crime. Fucking proud

of my people. Remember, I'm only more Irish and English, believe it or not. Anyways, what else did I do real quick over the weekend? I don't know. Fucking worked out a couple times. Dave Rubin will be on next Monday's show. He has a book out. Wait a minute.

How are we going gonna do that oh yeah first of all I won't be here next week okay we're taking Thursday will be my last show I'll come back the following eight days which is a Friday we'll do one show and then come back as normal so but we'll play the best of we'll play reruns and stuff please again keep the contributions coming even if I'm not here but I need a break. I'm going to get a little toasty. All right?

Let's start the show, ladies and gentlemen. Mr. DiPaolo, no one can be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. Yeah?

Me fuck you and your bone spurs. That's what I say. In our Libs, Eating Libs segment today. The chairman of the DNC shrugged off any need to investigate sexual assault allegations against Joey Biden, noting he went through a vetting process when he became vice president and saying, I trust Joe Biden. Can you imagine what this this guy had the fucking nerve to say that you you smoke cocksucker? Fuck you. That's Tom Perez, by the way. He's the head

of the DNC. He's the guy that started cursing openly a couple of years ago. Real hothead. But yeah, he's saying that, you know, Biden went through some heavy vetting when he became vice president. So that's enough already. I'm sure Trump did, too. But that wasn't your attitude when the grabbing pussy tape came out, was it, Tommy? You motherless fuck you. Anyways, here's Tom Perez on a Sunday show. There's been so many investigations of this,

of the vice president. The most, the most comprehensive investigation of the vice president was when he was vetted by Barack Obama in 2008. I'm very familiar with vice presidential vetting process. They look at everything about you. They looked at the entire history of Joe Biden, his entire career. And I'll tell you, if Barack Obama had any indication that this there was an issue, Barack Obama would not have had him as his vice president. Oh, God, you're fucking crazy. Yeah, he wouldn't. Dick Cheney, huh? I wonder, Dick Cheney, I bet you he was vetted, huh? And you guys made him out to be Darth Vader, the most evil man on the planet. Sure, he went through that heavy vetting process. Oh, you dirty rot. Perez compared the accusations

against Biden, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, who I'm telling you, he's not going to be it, to to the he compared it to the email controversy that hillary clinton went through in 2016 he said this is like the hillary emails because there was nothing there he said what the fuck are you talking about there was nothing crazy biden by the way in an interview on msnbc's morning jo, thus the Libs Eatin' Libs segment, last Friday said Tara Reade's claims that he assaulted her in 1993 while she was working in his office are untrue. Oh, did he?

He says it never happened. Check it out. 1993, Mr. Vice President, that you pinned her against the wall and reached under her clothing and penetrated her with your fingers. Would you please go on the record with the American people? Did you sexually assault Tara Reid? No, it is not true. I'm saying unequivocally.

It never, never happened. And it didn't. It never happened. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. No. When anybody says it's not true, they should leave it there. It never happened. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. When anybody says it's not true, they should leave it there. But when they're lying, they go, it never happened. It didn't happen.

It never happened. Here, smell my fingers, Mika. I haven't washed my hands since 82. Even during the virus thing. Fucking look at her. She's looking like she's getting finger popped right now by fucking Joe Scarborough under the desk. That's what I do. I pause the Fox News girls at home and I go, look it. That's her sleeping before I sneak into the bedroom.

Ah, what a liar. They're all liars. I have mixed feelings about this because they all have done something nasty and dirty. You know what I mean? I'm surprised there ain't six million women coming out. About all senators on both sides. Guys are just pussy hounds.

And the more power they have. Do you think she just made that up out of the blue, folks? Really? Tabarri just came forward because she wants the national spotlight shined on her and get death threats and all this shit. Huh? You really think she made it up? Let's be honest. The next thought is, OK, even if he did do it, does that disqualify him?

I don't know. Bill Clinton, alleged rapist for the love of Christ. Pictures of him flying Jeffrey Epstein's plane into Snatch Island, remember? That's where I'm going, by the way. Sandals and then Snatch Island with a wife. Anyways, Tara Reid told the AP that the complaint she filed to the congressional personnel office 27 years ago did not include explicit accusations of sexual assault because she didn't want to end the career when she was in her 20s or whatever. That's understandable. But do you really think she's making this out

of whole cloth? Come on. Get this, ladies and gentlemen. Another woman has come forward with allegations about Biden's inappropriate behavior, claiming that he commented on her age and her sweet little titties. Cut. What? It's the Internet. Commented on her age and her breasts when she was 14. And we've all seen Biden around 14 year olds at these things in the last couple of years, sniffing heads and rubbing backs and licking girls' ears. Speaking to Law and Crime, Eva Murray, 26. That's her. I'm going to be honest.

I like her on the left better. It's a joke, everybody. But that's a little too sexy for a 14 year old. By the way, that looks like my dog. I swear to God. There she is holding the dog. And they Biden's she says Biden sniffed her dog's ass a couple weeks ago, but nobody. Come on. Anyways, Eva Murray, 26, Eva Murray claims she was sexually harassed by Biden at first state gridiron dinner and show in 2008. A swanky political roast for Delaware press and politicians. It's similar to the White House Correspondents Dinner.

Murray is the niece of former Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell, who was running for Senate against Biden at the time and had occasionally went to political events for school credit. She was in middle school at the time. had occasionally went to political events for school credit. She was in middle school at the time. How creepy is that? Uncle Joe, how you doing? How old are you? Nice tits. Quack, quack, quack. At the dinner, Murray says that when she met Biden, he asked her age. Then, surprised by her youth, commented about how she was very well endowed for a 14 year old. That boy is a P.I.G. pig. What kind of comment is that? Sounds like something Raz would say when he's drunk.

She says, I remember walking into the lobby and being in awe of all the people in such fancy clothes, Murray told Law and Crime. Our two parties of people gravitated towards each other and everyone started saying their hellos. When it was Biden and my aunt's turn to say hello, he quickly turned to me and asked how old I was. I replied with my age and he replied with the comment, 14?

You're very well endowed for 14. Come on, come on, come on. What the fuck? Then he said this. Oh my God. I was confused, but it was definitely weird. He looked me up and down and hovered his eyes

on my chest so I had some clue about the notion of his comment, but didn't fully understand at the time. We quickly separated from his area after the encounter. Murray has six people to corroborate her claims. One friend and

her sister said that Murray told her details of the alleged incident more or less immediately after it happened. Four other friends of Murray's said they were told about the incident with the same details between two and three years after it originally occurred. Multiple friends who Murray told about the event spoke to the outlet on record. Judge Judy would say, that's hearsay. It doesn't matter. That's hearsay. She was telling me about the event and explained what happened. Victoria Antsy, a friend of Murray, said, I remember being so shocked I didn't know who Biden was or anything. Just that she said he was an older man was was enough for me to not like the situation. Eva is telling the truth.

She added. She told me he looked at her chest and she was well endowed. She looked very uncomfortable. I asked how old he was. She said, like an older man. I said, like old, like a teacher or elderly. And she said, old, like a teacher. I remember myself getting mad. old like a teacher or elderly? And she said, old like a teacher.

I remember myself getting mad. I remember myself getting mad because I had pretty nice jugs myself and he never said anything. Nancy said that she's a Democrat. She can't stand Trump and that it isn't about politics. It's about men in power abusing their positions, which is pretty true, you know.

You can act like a man. What's the matter with you? Another friend, Caitlin Weaver, said that Murray told her about the incident over 10 years ago. Eileen Callaghan, another friend, said Murray told her when they were teenagers. It was probably 2010 when she told me she told law and crime. She mentioned that he was at an event. She was with her aunt and that he was a creep and was looking at her chest the whole time. Eva Murray's oldest sister, Jenna Murray, said she was told about the alleged incident within a week or so of the dinner.

Following the incident, Murray says that she would sometimes have to see him at campaign events and would feel sick to her stomach knowing he would be there she said that she encountered him about three times after that at similar events and that his eyes never were on my face 14 for the love of pete uh murray has two children now is currently engaged no man or woman should get away with acting that way and that is what this boils down to she said now here's an important note to the story an email from biden 2020 rapid response director andrew bates contained two news articles which strongly suggest biden would not have been able to attend the event in question, as well as a copy of then Senator Biden's schedule, which also supports the claim that he did not attend the dinner.

Finally, the Biden campaign almost provided it also provided a letter from a man who identified himself as the former vice president of the gridiron dinner, which categorically denied Biden's attendance that year. OK, so she got the year wrong is what i'm saying girls don't just come out and make this shit up you know unless you're christine blasey ford and you're a hard lefty and donald trump uh kavanaugh is up for a supreme court seat but no young girl this girl's only 26 now. They don't want to be their privacy invaded and shit. But what's fair is fair. Her friends hate fucking Trump and they're even saying it's true.

So, Joe, I don't know what to tell you, Joe. That makes what you're being accused of now even more credible in my opinion. I'm just connecting the dots i report you motherless fucks decide wasn't that a slogan by somebody oh now let's get to uh what's going on in today's world ladies and gentlemen and you know what that is coronavirus from china that's the way trump said it remember the reporter said why do you keep calling it the China? Because it's from China.

It's from China. Don't you understand? You call Chinese food, Chinese food because it's from China. By the way, I had 12 egg rolls last night in about four minutes. Delicious. Delicious.

Delicious. China hid coronavirus severity to hoard supplies. Sounds just like the Chinese to me. They are very slippery, ladies and gentlemen. As slippery as the eels they fry for breakfast. U.S. officials believe China covered up the extent of the coronavirus outbreak and how contagious the disease is to stock up on medical supplies needed to respond to it. Intelligence documents show Chinese leaders intentionally conceal the severity that's in quotes of the pandemic from the world early in January,

according to a four page Department of Homeland Security report dated May 1st and obtained by the AP, the revelation comes as the Trump administration has intensified its criticism of China, with Secretary of State Mike Pompeo saying Sunday that China, China, what was possible for the spread of the disease, it must be held accountable. Here's Mike Pompeo. the spread of the disease, it must be held accountable. Here's Mike Pompeo. We've said from the beginning that this was a virus that originated in Wuhan, China. We took a lot of grief for that from the outset, but I think the whole world can see now. Remember, China has a history of infecting the world and they have a history of running substandard laboratories. These are not the first times that we've had a world exposed to viruses as a result of failures in a Chinese lab. And so while the Intelligence Committee continues to do its work,

they should continue to do that and verify so that we are certain. I can tell you that there is a significant amount of evidence that this came from that laboratory in Wuhan. Okay. He wouldn't lie. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay. I come with two chopsticks. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks?

Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Lekker some booty. Lekker some booty. Lekker some booty. I love my show. The analysis states that while downplaying the severity of the coronavirus, China increased imports and decreased exports of medical supplies.

That's evidence enough for me. Sorry to be a fucking American. It attempted to cover up doing so by denying there were export restrictions and obfuscating and delaying provision of its trade data. The analysis said. Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind. Ah, you're breaking my bars here, huh? You're breaking my bars. The report also says China held off informing the World Health Organization that the coronavirus was a contagion for much of January,

so it could order medical supplies from abroad, was a contagion for much of January so it could order medical supplies from abroad, and that its imports of face masks and surgical gowns and gloves increased sharply. You want inspection? Inspect that, you butt-fucking piece of shit! Wow, tensions are ratcheting up. Ratcheting up. Ratcheting up. Those conclusions are based on the 95% probability that China's changes in imports and export behavior were not within the normal range, according to the report. Enough evidence for me. They started importing all kinds of shit. So.

I'm sorry, they're very dirty. They're very dirty. And I think they're very the rest of the world's a little pissed too. It's not just Trump for you people are going, he's such a racist. If you don't believe in quarantining and social distancing, you're just a fucking racist.

And this is the world's problem. We're all into, we're not all in it together. If I hear that one more time in a commercial, Jesus Christ, we're all in it together. Really? How come you're telling me to stay 70 meters away from the person at the fucking Ace Hardware store?

I had to pick up a claw hammer. The guy threw it to me. It's stuck in my neck. Don't get me this we're in together fucking horse shit. What did I cook this weekend? Ironically, stir fry. Twice.

I miss sports, don't you, folks? Please watch Gamora. Do you want to see some animal Italian people that live in ghettos in Naples? Please watch Gamora. Oh, my God. Violence, beautiful Italian women, all kinds of dirtiness, drugs. Everything that America's about, only in Chinese and Italian.

Fucking, it is so good. I used to sit home, people talking about all these shows on Netflix and I'd be out doing comedy. I would never catch this shit, but now I see why. Go ahead, Russ. I have a Patreon question for you if you want to ask it now. Already?

Boy, can you pick a time during the show? Be consistent with it. It's either five minutes before the show ends or 10 minutes into it. Yeah, sure. We have a Patreon. Again, folks, I want to thank you. People contributing to the show at nickdip.com and people, we had 10 or 11 people sign up on Patreon this weekend.

That's what keeps us going. I can't thank my fans enough. Michael K., Kansas City, Missouri. If the revolting, degenerate pieces of filth, Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi got into a fight to the death

with Louisville sluggers, who would win? Thanks for all your great content. Take care of her. With Louisville sluggers, they'd probably just do each other without Louisville Sluggers, who would win? Thanks for all your great content. Take care of it. With Louisville Sluggers, they'd probably just do each other without Louisville. They wouldn't even hit each other. You know what I'm saying?

They don't like the real thing. They go with a meat substitute. Nice 36-ounce Barry Bonds model. Nice black, shiny. Oh, Hillary would kill her. Hillary's just a fucking mean bitch. Get a few drinks in her. She got that Irish Chicago comes out.

She would beat her like a fucking rented mule. You know what I'd do? I'd masturbate to it if they videotaped it. Hopefully they both die. By the way, that's what they, in Gomorrah, you want to see people hitting each other with bats? There's a little of that. Old school.

That's a good question, Mike. I appreciate that. Two old ladies who hate the country just savaging each other. But yeah, no, I take Hillary. First of all, balance. She's got those cankles. You know what I mean? She'd be like a good fighter. You have her unconscious on the ropes. But she doesn't go down because she's got feet like a dinosaur, fucking thick ankles, head like a Coke machine, face like a fucking crocodile. Pelosi could, I don't know, block some of the big titties.

Anyways, great question. Great answer by me. This is a serious show. What do we got here? What do we have here, ladies here ladies and gentlemen oh the judge is coming the coach's in session the coach's in session now here come the judge here come the judge oh flip wilson loved him i'm fucking eight years old. I was fucking watching comedy like that. The Justice Department is siding with a Virginia church suing Governor Ralph Blackface, Clan Robe Northam, after police threatened a pastor with jail time or $2,500 fine for violating the state's coronavirus lockdown restrictions by holding a 16- person church service on Palm Sunday. I love it. The Justice Department is siding with the church. You don't see that often. As you know, this country has grown more secular and really hates all religions,

except Muslim ones. But, you know, they probably hate them, too, but don't have the balls to say it. They probably hate them too, but don't have the balls to say it. The Department of Justice decision came after police and protective garb served a summons to Kevin Wilson, one of my favorite pastors in the country, Kev Wilson, the pastor of the Lighthouse Fellowship Church on Chincoteague Island. Holy shit, it really does says Chincoteague. I can't make this up during corona times for holding the service on april 5th with 16 people spaced far apart from one another and get this in a church that could hold 293 people 16 people they could be 12 feet apart that's a comedy club 293 people

That's a comedy club, 293 people. And they're busting their balls about this. State officials said Wilson, by the way, Virginia is as blue as blue can be. It's really turned into a police state. State officials said Wilson and the church violated the Virginia Constitution by breaking state-imposed social distancing restrictions intended to stop the spread of the coronavirus. Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what they didn't break. The First Amendment, right to assemble, which trumps your

shitty little constitution. Maybe it doesn't, but I'm just saying that. I'm the lawyer. Although I worked for Salino and Barnes for a couple of years. The Commonwealth of Virginia has offered no good reason, this is the judge speaking for for refusing to trust congregants who promise to use care and worship in the same way it trusts accountants lawyers and other workers to do the same it's a great point isn't it that's because they're hostile towards religion i'm not even a religious person folks i'm just saying uh matt staver the chairman and founder of liberty council representing the pastor accused northamam, the blackface ass, a Democrat, of discriminating against the church and violating what I just said, the First Amendment.

And this is what he said about Northam. Your mother sucks cocks in hell, Harris. I thought that went over the line a little. Your mother sucks cocks in hell, got him. Across the country, law enforcement has been cracking down on religious congregations threatening heavy summons and fines for deliberately breaking state rules yeah crack down on that but leave the liquor stores open release thousands of prisoners because they might get sick of coronavirus shut the gun shops but

but let's pick on the goddamn churchgoers. Again, I'm not religious, but I like religious people because they believe in a bigger thing. They believe, you know, they fear God, which is good. It makes them behave. I don't fear any man. It's a joke. I'm shitting my pants right now. Churches have been urged, Raz, to switch to virtual services in lieu of in-person sermons, but Wilson's church

claimed that the Lighthouse Fellowship didn't have the capacity to do that. He said, none of the motherfuckers in my parish are fucking tech savvy. Well, he didn't. Many parishioners didn't have access to the internet.

That's kind of weird, but that's what he say. Counselor? to the internet that's kind of weird but that's what he say um counselor counselor attorney general bill barr said in an interview last month that the doj in some cases would side with citizens and businesses suing states over coronavirus lockdown orders i I love it. They hate Bill Barr. They think he's just a mouthpiece with Trump and shit. I think he believes in law and order and he doesn't, you know,

he follows the rules as they're written. But I know you guys, and plus he looks a lot like Elton John. Nobody else has made that observation but me. Someone saved my life tonight. It's a little bit funny This feeling inside Though Raz is not one who can easily hide He's about 5'10", 245 And if I did

I'd buy a big church where we could hide from covid i got another question oh shit raz i love it not a patreon but one for you oh have you always like not have you always not been religious or is it just something that uh kind of happened that's a great question again here's the thing about religion and if i have a nice chunk on breath of fresh air my last special which is kicking ass still on youtube um i talk about religion and uh you don't get to choose your religion they slap it on you when you're a kid i do a bit about they brought me to some priest, oh, and I'm like 10 months old, I splash some water on my face, and then I said, I'm hoping that was water. Felt like hair gel. But, so, no, I was raised, my mother still goes to church every Sunday. Her mother was really

religious, and I'll tell you why she was really religious when she was like 10 12 years old my grandmother my mother's mother who's passed and she developed like so open sores on her neck some type of cancer this is way back she was born in 19 whatever the early 19 anyways her mother was very religious took her all the way to Quebec to some church for some priestess they gave her a prayer this is all true they gave a prayer to tell my grandmother to say every day a day after they got home from that trip to Quebec my grandmother started eating solid food for like the first time in like months all this stuff they actually told my grandmother's mother to bring her

home and let her die she was that sick and uh so my grandmother you know was very religious because her mother was very religious i was you know i went to catechism class i went to church made my first confession and all that shit and and it just didn't stick i don't know what to believe i'm i'm agnostic as they say i i'm not saying it i'm saying i don't know you know i mean but you know i remember a guy coming up to me i was hanging on washington square park before a set at the comedy cellar and some guy came up he said do you have a personal relationship with jesus christ and i said look i get enough problems with my wife. The fuck do I need another relationship?

That's when I said, man, I stopped going to church like eighth grade. My mother, I remember one Sunday she tried to hit me with a wooden spoon. I put this up and it broke. And I said, I'm not going. Meanwhile, my father's laying in bed going, get to church or you'll go to hell. And I'm like, well, you're not going to hell. He's, I'm married, I'm in hell. Go to church.

So I don't, you know what I mean? And I really do. I admire religious people. I mean, look at Mike Lindell, my pillow guy. Anybody else find it amazing that a crackhead seriously invented the most comfortable pillow? He should have a crackhead on his commercials, lay down on the pillow after doing two pounds of meth and go, look, he's out like a light. Anyway, to answer your question, Raz, yeah, I don't. Let me ask you a question.

You're from the South, are you? North Carolina, right? Black, a lot of religious conservatives, right? So do you still go to church and all that? I don't go to church. I got tired of an old guy yelling at me, you know, preaching. You know, so I don't go to church, but I am religious. I'm Christian.

Yeah, a lot of people say that. You don't need the church. Cut out the middleman. I'm going right to the, but I am religious. I'm Christian. Yeah. A lot of people say that you don't you don't need the church. Cut out the middleman. I'm going right to the guy myself. Do you pray? Just like the Lord's Prayer every now and then. Inshallah. Yes. This is Raz praying.

God, I hope the lake is covered tonight. Inshallah. I get ten G's on it. Our five. I still remember this, though. They drill that into your head. Hail Mary, the Lord is with. Same with the Italians,

the Gamora. They're always, you know, they're praying, then they machine gun some kids down. I don't know what to believe, but I'm like everybody else. If somebody tells me

I have cancer tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be a believer. I don't know. I might like everybody else. If somebody tells me I have cancer tomorrow, I'm sure I'll be a believer. I don't know. I might convert to Judaism. I need the help of the money. What? That's Annie Smith. No, it isn't, it's a joke.

Colin Quinn on Tough Crowd. It's one of the opening segments. It said Judaism. The thing comes up, it says Judaism. He goes, uh, something religion or a nasty multinational corporation. Boy, that even shocked me.

Speaking of shocking, ladies and gentlemen, what is the world coming to? We get COVID, right? Everybody admits this is the creepiest time to be alive. We thought nine 11 was going to be there, but this COVID thing is so creepy.

It seems like the world's going nut lady get eaten by a alligator, by the way, We thought 9-11 was going to be the, but this COVID thing is so creepy. It seems like the world's going, a lady get eaten by an alligator, by the way, in South Carolina this weekend. And I don't mean sexually. What? Anyways, I don't know if you guys saw this video. Shocking moment. Monkey on bicycle. I'll repeat monkey on bicycle, grabs a toddler and drags her away. This is an Indonesia. Let's take a look at

the videotape. Here he comes on his bike. Look at this. What the fuck? That poor little girl. Joe Biden was seen on a bike. A monkey has been filmed speeding along on a bicycle before he grabbed the young girl's dress, pulled her along an alley. Witnesses scream when they saw the monkey trying to kidnap the Tanya. He's going to hold her hostage.

The video thought to have been filmed in Tanjogzari village, Indonesia. It's on a bike. I don't know what's more amazing. As it reached a bench where a woman and her three young daughters were sitting, the monkey grabbed at one of the girls' dresses

and pulled her off the goddamn bench. I told you a long time ago, you fucking little monkey, not to fuck me. Hey! What kind of world is, what is going on? Seriously. Got this monkey.

I'm going to do a story in a few minutes. Look at that. What's more incredible? The riding of the bike or the... That poor girl will never go to the zoo again. Where's her mother, by the way? Sitting on the bench going, anyways, it's like, that's like something out of the Wizard of Oz. Fucking, I'll do a story in a few minutes. China has a hornet that said, they say it's gonna,

it's already in Washington State. It's like a killer hornet. It's two inches long. It's the biggest hornet in the world. I'll get to it in a few seconds. They say it'll make its way to the East Coast in two or three years. Unless, like the guy who wrote the article said, unless somebody, you know, has some in the back of his pickup truck,

it could be here in a week. But it's fucking, it's a meat-eating hornet. The fuck? They probably created that in the lab over there too. With a quarter-inch stinger. It eats other bees. It robs honeybees' nests. Wears little bandanas. Fucking crazy. Oh, God. Here's my favorite governor right now. This broad is drunk on power. An angry pilot has taken to the skies over Michigan to chart a flight path spelling out F you. I love these Michigan people. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

look at that's the flight path f you with an arrow pointing towards the fucking mansion the governor's man uh it was directed at governor gretchen nitittwitmer. Ed Frederick, 45, spent an hour crafting the message in his Piper propeller plane. Can you imagine how pissed this guy is? Friday morning, after Whitmer extended statewide stay-at-home orders through May 28th in a bid to slow the spread. Flight trackers shared a screen grab of the flight path, which also featured an arrow pointing at the governor's mansion. In Michigan, there are, look, I can understand a little bit.

I do think she's drunk on power. And she's auditioning, by the way, to be whoever the Democrat nominee, whether it's Biden or not, maybe be on that ticket. That's what the theory is. In Michigan, there are at least 43 000 cases of coronavirus and more than 4 000 have died so she's saying hey we gotta fucking you know frederick told the new york post that he believes whitmer is on a power trip and that it is not necessarily uh not necessary for lockdown orders to continue across the entire state, which I sort of agree with the guy.

Don't you? Sure you do. You are correct, sir. There are 82 counties in Michigan, but really only four need to be locked down, Frederick stated. He claimed that only areas surrounding Detroit, always racist, should continue to remain on lockdown, given that is where a majority of the coronavirus cases are close,

which is true. A lot of people put that theory out there. You quarantine the sick people, not the healthy one. And we've seen all the clips of the Michigan people showing up at the statehouse. That's the beauty of this country, folks. Right into the cap, they go right at March in. Some of them had their guns and shit,

which is very American. It's Michigan. I don't hear anybody beef when fucking black lives matter is chanting burn all cops and shit frederick theorizes that it would not play with whitmer's democratic base to only keep those areas unlocked in other words if she locked down just the detroit areas you know her base would say she's being racist uh anyways whitmer says this is for the safety of michigan but i think it's for the safety of her keeping her votes because the southeast is highly democratic frederick said frederick added that he owns a small business outside grand rapids and is disappointed that it will have to remain closed for another month so guys you gotta feel for

people like his business probably permanently ruined. On Thursday evening, Whitmer extended the stay-at-home order for another four weeks, despite armed protesters storming the state capitol building earlier in the day. Good for them. Fucking bitch.

The order bans gyms, theaters, bars, and casinos from opening and also limits restaurant to carry out and delivery orders. Restaurants can allow up to five people inside at a time to pick up orders, but only if they follow social distancing guidelines by staying six feet apart. That's a big debate. Is it overkill? I really think it is.

This is a bad flu, folks. It kills the same people the regular flu does. Old, unhealthy people for the most part. Yes, there's been a few exceptions to that, but it's up to you as an American. If you're afraid, stay home. If you're not, do what I do. Go to World of Beer. Sit there with

four other people in a place that holds 300. Go, Jesus Christ, my life's in shambles. four other people in a place that holds 300 go jesus christ my life's in shambles uh okay in our make me a sandwich segment today uh make me a sandwich make me a fucking sandwich no no no no. Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer slammed the stay-at-home order protesters who stormed the state's Capitol on Thursday, saying they represented the worst racism and awful parts of U.S. history. Of course, that's her take. She's a lefty. White power, one, two, three, four! of U.S. history. Of course, that's her take. She's a lefty. Catchy little tune. The Democratic governor said the group of armed demonstrators, which she said included people wielding Confederate flags and nooses, that it's a little unnecessary. In addition to to other racist signs we're not representative of who

we are today well if that's the case and it's not representative it's only small don't get all excited about it uh that's a small group of people when you think about the fact that there's 10 million people in this state the vast majority of whom are doing the right thing because me hitler said so president trump called on whitmer in a tweet last week to negotiate with protesters. He said, this bitch ought to wake up and smell the coffee. No, he said the governor of Michigan should give a little and put out the fire. These are very good people. I don't think he was talking. I'm surprised the left wing media, or maybe they did.

Maybe I missed it. Didn't jump on the. Good people. They had nooses and Confederate flags, but they're angry. Trump said they want their lives back again safely. See them. Talk to them. Make a deal. Everything's a deal with him. Monty fucking Hall. But Whitmer doubled down Sunday on her defense of the statewide stay-at-home order,

saying she was working to protect your life. She's protecting your life, people. She knows better than you. She has extended the mandate last week to May 15th, but eased some restrictions, including on motorboating, golfing, and curbside pickups at businesses. So she's just drunk. And for you, do eigenarbeit, do eigenen fleiß, eigenen Trostein. Michigan reported a total of 43,254 confirmed coronavirus cases and 4,025 deaths statewide as of Sunday afternoon, according to John Hopkins University. So, again, it depends what you believe. You know, we all know it's very, very, very contagious. believe you know we all know it's very very very contagious but as far as uh you know

fatality rates it's very it's very uh you know the odds are on your side if you're healthy and under 107 years old anyways i want to thank as you know folks people can contribute to this show financially at nickdip.com and they can also sign up at patreon.com and become a monthly supporter. And when you do that, you get extra story every day. Nobody else gets. You get to ask me questions, and you get access to all the previous shows. But I want to thank these people who have contributed since Thursday. Renee Allen, New York. Lon Jerks, Virginia.

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How many is that, Raz? One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21. 22 people contributed to NickDip.com. And get this, monthly supporters. This is at Patreon.com. Peter Molnar. Doc Farmer. Roger Jabot. Kenny Frankis.

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a J V who signed up at the veto level, which is the highest level. Thank you guys all so much for, uh, patrion.com and the individual contributions. We, we can't thank you enough. Um, Hmm. More corona news, ladies.

In Oklahoma City, walked back an emergency declaration requiring customers to wear face masks inside businesses after threats of violence were hurled at store employees, which is so ignorant. The employees are doing their job. And people coming in and ignorant the employees are doing their job and people

coming in and threatening the employees for doing it even so much as somebody brandished a weapon which is just so stupid i mean come on come on do you want to go to war we'll take you to war okay officials in stillwater announced the change friday less than 24 hours after the rule went into effect at stores and restaurants. In the short time beginning on May 1st, that face coverings have been required for entry into stores, restaurants, store employees have been threatened with physical violence and showered with verbal abuse, city manager Norman McNichol said in a statement. In addition, there has been one threat of violence using a firearm you gotta be shitting me the antichrist you got me in a vendetta kind of mood stillwater mayor will joyce said on twitter that he didn't expect the declaration to provoke a violent reaction he said in quotes i knew there

would be some objections but i did not expect physical confrontation with employees and threatening phone calls to City Hall. I hate that our business and their employees had to deal with this type of abuse, and I apologize for putting them in that position. It's really not your fault, Mayor. It's the fucking moron people who are just, you know, about an eighth grade mentality. And I don't agree with all the closing and all the masks and all that shit, but Jesus Christ, be smart enough to know who's making the rules and who to take it out on. You should be thanking these people for showing up to work. He said that face masks are still strongly recommended for residents when around other people and will continue to be required for workers at public-facing businesses. We said we must find common ground, work together to deal with the circumstances our society

is facing. Whether or not we agree in all the details, we have to find ways to cooperate in the task before us. That's not going to get through to these idiots or knuckleheads as Governor Murphyphy of governor that's the next story governor murphy new jersey he's the guy that initially was arresting people on beaches and you know guys guys sitting on a beach for christ's sake and on a sunday and this guy sends the cops out so i don't personally my trump's always like he's a great guy we're working together well make up your mind for fuck's sake here's a picture of uh governor murphy right there of uh

new jersey governor phil murphy said the state's's pace of reopening from shutdowns designed to slow the spread of the virus reflect in part by how much knucklehead behavior emerges as restrictions. Knuckle. The fuck is that? Moe Howard? What's the idea? Get off the beach. Get upstairs. Sit down.

Oh, my God, Governor Murphy, you're killing me. He says the family, friends, and neighbors who we have lost are the reason why we can't rush our restart. Murphy said in a press briefing on Saturday, if we are reckless, we will lose not just more, but many more beyond that. Oh, you're laying it on

heavy. Thank you. New Jersey, second only to New York in the number of coronavirus cases and deaths, allowed state parks and golf courses to reopen Saturday for the first time since early April. That's what he thinks of golfers. He's like, fuck these rich white dudes. Let them get

out there and take a risk. Murphy said officials would be monitoring closely for compliance with social distancing. If we hear reports of people not taking either their health or the health of maybe even more importantly, the health of other park goers seriously, then we won't hesitate to. And I don't say this with any joy. Yeah, you do. To close them again, Murphy said.

If we can do this and I know we can, then we'll be able to move forward, he said in German. Murphy said on April 28th that New Jersey is still a number of weeks away from totally reopening. He hedged on Sunday when asked if the state included beaches would be largely reopened by Memorial Day, May 25th. He said Amityville means friendly. And those beaches will be open. I think it's too early to tell for lots of reasons, including our neighbors, he said. This isn't about the old legacy stuff,

Murphy said, a reference to suggesting Democrat-led states are looking for bailouts for long-running budget problems. Yeah, it is. Maybe not yours, but all the fucking big money going to the states, the governors, fucking liberal left-leaning states run by lefties

who are already in financial straits before all this happened, like New York, like fucking Los Angeles. He says we're already seeing some layoffs in New Jersey. We need a big slug of federal direct cash assistance is what he said. Give me the money.

Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me? I said come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Remember what Rahm Emanuel said, never let a crisis go to waste. So these governors are like, fuck, this is a good way to bail us out of this mess we were in before COVID. Just my opinion.

Could be wrong. Don't give a shit. It's an internet show. I'm just reporting the facts with a little cursing involved. If you don't like it, fucking go home. Cocaina. A lot of this in Gamora.

A lot of people going, that's good shit. I want to learn Italianian it's so good he's dead hey ladies and gentlemen as you know the donaldstuff.com are big sponsors of the show we really appreciate the eight them for that they also know uh i love to cook and uh asked me to share this item check Check it out. It's a Trump apron. That's me standing very gaily on the left.

As you can see, I've slimmed down because of the virus. And I have the hips of a bitch. That's me after I burn something, tearing my T-shirt off in anger. Motherfucker. How cool is that? Get it for yourself. Even better better get one from someone you know who hates trump maybe even have a barbecue and invite your lib friends over and wear it while you're putting bloody chicken juice raw chicken juice into the hamburger anyway lots of great stuff on the donaldstuff.com go Go there and check out all the gear. When you use the promo code Nick, you get 10% off, not just the

apron, but everything on the website. Go to thedonaldstuff.com, pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat and support these guys, and we thank them for sponsoring the show. So, speaking of buying shit, guess what, folks? This surprised the hell out of me. Crowds gathered to buy new Air Jordans in Atlanta after lockdown lifted.

I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. Where are my shoes at? An Atlanta mall saw massive crowds gather Saturday to buy the new Air Jordans. Really, this is what's priority on your mind? Look, Tyron, you could get COVID and die. I don't give a fuck, man. I ain't paying retail and online. I'm sure there was some white folk in there, too.

They're in line Saturday. I love them. Fuck the pandemic. These are Air Jordansans to buy the new air jordan sneakers after lockdown restrictions were lifted apparently they were lifted so i don't know that's uh i think your brain is going soft shoppers packed close uh close to shoppers packed close to form lines that it makes no sense i don't know who wrote this that wrapped outside

greenbrier mall on saturday that's where i go i get my fucking giant pretzels at green by that's right i make a four-hour drive to atlanta uh to get their hands on new air jordan 5 uh the new air jordan 5 sneakers we have a pix i don't know why everybody's look at those would you wear those anywhere? I know what Michael Jordan's changed in his old age. He designed these fuckers. Look at that. Those are shoes that nobody would shoot you and steal off your feet.

I'll tell you that much. Video posted on social media show people waiting to get into the mall and then outside of the shoe store. Jimmy Jazz. They have the best ones. You ever been to Jimmyimmy jazz oh everyone i talked to was in line for a new air jordan 5 that sold out online uh tweeted nbc producer charlie guile or gile the sneaker frenzy comes after georgia governor brian kemp allowed shelter in place orders to expire and encourage businesses to reopen. So if anybody gets hurt. It's on you, governor.

I guess I got to do the Hornet story, huh? Yeah. Real quick. Final story, folks. What is what is going on in the world? Unbelievable. Asia murder hornet will arrive. They call it the murder hornet. It was in line trying to get Air Jordan 5s in Atlanta. Asia's murder hornet will arrive on East Coast and it's here to stay, experts say. What? I kill you.

I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. It's not a matter of it, but if, but when the murder hornet will hit the East Coast. The deadly meat-eating Asian. What kind of hornets eat meat? They create this in the Wuhan lab?

Didn't say China. I saw one fly by with a fucking ribeye in its mouth. The deadly meat-eating Asian giant hornet, which has been known to kill up to 50 people a year in Japan, recently surfaced for the first time in U.S. and Washington State, and New York City beekeepers say there's no way it won't make it to the East Coast either. I told the NYPD back in 2012, your problem is not the bees. This murder hornet is your problem. Recalled retired police department beekeeper Anthony Tony Bees Planeckis.

Anthony Tony Bees Plenakis. What was he, a mobster too? Tony Bees. Asked if the monstrous insects are dangerous to humans, Plenakis replied, absolutely. Oh, my God. What the fuck? Oh!

Oh! Ah! Oh! Yeah! Yeah! the hornets the world's largest at more than two inches long were first spotted in washington in december likely have made their way to the u.s aboard a ship from china trump will be gone i'm telling you they knew about these bees in early february of 2018 plan Planakis said he expects them to arrive at the East Coast in the next two or three years. He said that in terms of eventual local infiltration,

city green spaces in the outer boroughs will get most likely hit. Excuse me. Spots such as the Bronx Botanical Gardens are ideal because there's plenty of open spaces and lots of food. In other words, watch out when you're at a fucking barbecue. Listen to this. We can expect them to be everywhere on the continent in time.

It's a done deal, Cody said. He's an expert. There's no way to contain it to the West Coast. He said he saw the giant hornets on a trip to China in 2017 where local beekeepers were using small bats that look like miniature cricket bats to smack the fucking hornets out of the air what the fuck there's no crying in baseball the killer hornet listen to this can decimate a honeybee colony because it needs to build up protein for its own colony well get your own protein don't fucking come to my house bitch it decapitates and consumes part of the honeybees. Planticus

said the hornet's stinger is approximately a quarter of an inch compared to the one-sixteenth of an inch for honeybees. And get this, they're meat eaters. 2,200 was saw at Ruth Chris's on Wednesday night.

They'll go after birds, small sparrows if they have to. Planticus said the inside, listen to this, that inside their venom is a pheromone, which is like a magnet to other hornets. So you can get swarmed just from getting stung by one. These fuckers are gangs.

They're like, oh, we wounded Raz. Call everybody. The worst thing anyone can do with these things is kill them he said when you kill them a scent is going to be airborne and the rest of the hive will come what the fuck this is like gamora fucking antony gets whacked he goes back tells all the other getting stung is extremely painful and they don't sting you one time they have the ability to sting you multiple times. What the fuck? I cry like a bitch.

Planica said that in China they have hornet hunters. There's a tracker. What they do is set up a water source and they wait there like a deer hunter would. As soon as they see the hornets coming to the water source to drink, the guy jumps out with a net. I like to see who that is. And grabs it. Then ever so carefully he ties a string onto the hornet.

And let's say, you know how big a hornet has to be that you can tie a fucking string on? Jeez, what do you do? Pin it down? There's a spot of watching it now with binoculars. He watches this thing as it flies because obviously it's going to go back to the nest. When they find it, they mark where the nest is. Then at night, they come back, the hunters, with a flamethrower and just toast the whole nest. Jesus Christ, China.

You gave us this pandemic. Now you're going to release hornets on us? We've got to come up with something. Anyways, that is it, folks. I want to thank you so much again for all the support we get over the weekend don't forget i'm working uh today tomorrow wednesday thursday as normal and then i will take uh days off until the following friday like eight days away we come back for one show and then the weekend okay and dave rubin uh will be on monday show uh he's got a book out don't burn this book

i've been listening to it on audio. It's excellent. So that is it. You think and I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Stay safe, everybody. Bye. guitar solo Outro Music