The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden's Big Boy Presser | Nick Di Paolo Show #1596

Episode Date: July 11, 2024

Music playing What's this motherless fuck's name? Nick DiPaolo. Nice to be with you. How are you folks? Welcome to the show on a filthy Thursday, state of Georgia. Last day of work for me in Dallas, if you want to call this you. How are you folks? Welcome to the show on a filthy Thursday state of Georgia. Last day of work for me in Dallas if you want to call this work. Excuse me. Cigarette in the tub. Anyways, only have two a day.

What's going on folks? Fucking socks lost last night but we can't blame them. They've been fucking tremendous. I get nothing. Dallas anything. The wife gets sick or anything you can tell us. No, just going to New York to a dairy farm this weekend. Oh, that's right. Headed to upstate. As a young comedian, I used to get booked in, you know, City University of New York.

Dairy farms? Well, schools four feet from a dairy farm. I was literally standing, I told you this before, I'm standing, this is one of the ones that sticks out. I was in the business about two years maybe and they would send you to some college again. I'm standing on a fucking cafeteria table. Not in an auditorium, in the cafeteria during lunch time. Fucking people walking by with their trays. I did eight minutes on like spinach that they hated, and the rest of people weren't paying attention.

And I think I got $800, and I was thrilled. Who the fuck's going to know if you bomb 800 miles north of New York? Then you come back to the city and tell all your friends, I ripped it up. Yeah, so what are you shooting up there cows there how's it's a dairy farm one that's focused on regenerative farming so we've been shooting lately oh you're not doing I thought you and your wife are doing a documentary on raw milk there is a documentary happening but oh yeah yeah on farming

Holy shit anything I can jerk off to what can't you jerk off to? I like a goat I learned that from the Middle East well you've been in the Middle East apparently you the fight they have a goat fetish but you know you dress it up right when it's not a T-boy Thursday man love Thursday that's right go time yeah Colin Quinn always said that when we're on tough crowd and that's 20 something years ago and they love the young boy we're like what are you talking about yeah but we're amoral fucking girl shows her tits over here but you're fucking a young boy well that

goes on in Hollywood though they might as well be running MGM the television all right fuck it I got nothing might as well be running MGM, the television. All right, fuck it. I got nothing. Might as well get right to the headlines. A big boy press conference for the little man that will be Joe Biden. Imagine his own people are calling it a big boy press conference. That's what is that Kirby guy called it. How I think that's a sign you should step down. And embattled President Biden is set to stage a big boy press conference Thursday afternoon. The first, I can't even keep a straight face, look at him, look at him. Somebody just held up a popsicle or something. The first since his disastrous debate performance through his 2024 reelection campaign

into utter disray speaking of dairy farms listen such bulls they're talking about like this the debate is when he finally lost his shit like we haven't seen him falling downstairs for three and a half years and verbal gaffes and shit in his pants in front of the Duchess of Cornwall. The 81-year-old plans to close out the NATO summit in Washington, an event meant to showcase his leadership on the world stage. He can't even lead it home.

This is the biggest fucking farce. With rare solo news conference, that means, I'll give you my take on it, solo news conference that means I'll give you my take on the solo news conference as he scrambles to prove to the American public that he's capable of serving another another four years which everybody the commander in diapers is scheduled to take questions from the White House press corps at 5 30 p.m. Here is a summary of what has gone on in the last few days to to late up to this point. Those Democrats huddled for a private meeting Tuesday to discuss the situation concerning President Biden amid a national firestorm over his mental acuity in the week of a by a brush debates. And they really emerged from that meeting still divided and unclear over exactly how best to move forward.

Guys on the phone this guy just pissed himself off. One day after President Biden wrote a letter to congressional Democrats telling them that he will not step aside and very much plans to serve as a nominee for president for Democrats. Now, during the meeting that took place Tuesday, we're told that over two dozen members spoke and there was a lot of general airing of frustrations and concerns that Donald Trump could end up winning

in the fall. A lot of Democrats have said privately what they say in public that they view Trump as an existential threat to the country. All right, enough, I can't fucking hear. does anybody have a pushback when they say that anywhere even have you ever heard a Republican or anybody go what do you mean by that I don't know where they do that because they don't have each other on each other shows anymore but nobody stands up even in the press

court even I haven't heard do see go give us an example of him being a threat, Trump, to democracy, as opposed to fuckface. Nobody pushes back. I swear to God, it's all a big show for us. Fucking makes me nuts. The high stakes appearance which White House press secretary Corinne Jean-Pierre, what a fucking DEI specialist she is, has repeatedly referred to in recent statements

as Big Boy Press Conference, special she is has repeatedly referred to in recent statements as big boy press conference will be a test of his improvase improvisational skills yeah yeah yeah if he does well second city TV is gonna give my speaking skills as he prepares to confront the crowd of reporters his stamina and effectiveness what are we talking about a relief? Will be under a microscope like never before. What are they doing to this guy? Is Hunter getting back at the old man and just belly laughing? In an underwhelming pre-taped interview with ABC News last week, Biden had claimed that his bad episode

at the debate was simply the result of a cold and not any cognitive issues. And does anybody in the press go, sir, I've had COVID eight times, I can still spell dog, you fucking. On Tuesday, Biden read carefully from the teleprompters in a speech kicking off NATO's annual summit that featured just a few minor verbal stumbles including the pronunciation of Ukraine. God bless those movies for the show. My take on this is okay it's supposed to be a big boy press conference and do you really believe that the press corps that's been kissing his ass for the last I don't know how many years is you want me to believe that like Biden's not going to get even these questions the ones that he's supposedly answering off the top of his head. I don't.

And if he doesn't he's going to make an asshole of himself. Either way this could be great. This is at 5 30. This is must-watch TV. Imagine the pressure on this poor prick. Good. It's all blown up in their faces. I fucking love it. They thought, well, they said, well, put this empty fucking guy in the White House and we'll just fill him. We'll fill a teleprompter with lies and shit. He's too out of it to fucking realize it. But now it's blown up. It's a story that won't go away because he's still alive. And he's the president. There's going to be cameras on him every time he fights. Anyway, so tune into that, folks. I think it's, well, you'll be watching this so set your you know DVR how much said VCR what do you mind in my late fucking 90s and then go to blockbuster and get a movie for

yourself anyways hey in the second half of the show boys and girls I got more proof that the Democrats hate Americans and love the fucking illegals. You won't believe the vote that almost almost yeah you won't you're not gonna believe what I tell you and NASCAR fans put the fear of death into a Hamas fella and you're like Hamas fucking NASCAR oh yeah they love they love little boys and fast cars. It's some footage of him up on a fence with a Hamas. Dude, it's so goddamn funny. Get full episodes of the Nick DePaulo Show and Lauda

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Looney Clooney comes clean on Biden. After fronting a splashy fundraiser with Julia Roberts another whore who should be beheaded Barbara Streisand maybe the biggest douche beautiful voice I admit that much and Jimmy Kimmel I don't know what happened to Jimmy I know him back in the day did his show a couple times and I it's creepy it's creepy how they get into this guy's head. And la la land three weeks ago, George Clooney penned a bombshell column for the New York Times because we know celebrities really have a grasp on politics and what's going on.

So anyways, he bombed a column for the New York Times this morning urging, that was yesterday, Biden to drop out of the race. It's devastating to say, this is Clooney talking, but the Joe Biden I was with three weeks ago at the fundraiser was not the Joe big fucking deal Biden of 2010. Even back then he said fuck into a live microphone.

That's the last time he sounded cogent, wrote Clooney. He wasn't even the Joe Biden of 2020. He was the same man we all witnessed at the debate. Again, like the debates were. And by the way, thanks for speaking up three weeks later, Clooney. What fucking slimy, what are they, just born fucked up people that believe this shit?

He saw that Biden was a shell of his former self, like people on the right have been saying for the last four years and being called assholes for it, and yet still helped to raise $30 million for a political lemon. Hey, the show must go on, right? Let's take a look, if you don't remember, I'll just show you a quick snippet of Biden at that fundraiser three weeks ago in case you forgot that he's not exactly a gymnast hey fuckface over here bring it over where we going what are we doing what's going on right now?

I'm leading you to the shitter One of the band members said he smelled shit and everybody thinks it's you Only now cloney admits that what we saw on TV. He saw in private Everybody knows it the jig and I mean that racially is finally up. Oh, come on folks. It's a joke The jig, and I mean that racially, is finally up. Oh, come on, folks, it's a joke. Clooney got the kill sign from the party base. Can you imagine? They have so much faith in the people

who read other people's words. The party's base, who want Biden put out to pasture, because if they put him out to stud, nothing, because they know he can't win. The time arrived for a public and coordinated mass knifing in old Joe's back, so the actor obliged. It's craven. Joe Biden is a hero. I think this is him still talking, Clooney. He saved democracy in 2020. He fucking stunted it, it you asshole go shoot another pilot that nobody will see We need him to do it again in 2024 Clooney wrote

The left of our left right there boom the left is simply blinded by their hatred of Donald Trump Whom they have promised would end democracy back in 2016. And why didn't he? Why did he? He was president for four years. Did he become a dictator? Did he end democracy?

Or did we have the best economy ever? This shit, and you can say, what are you being a jingoistic? No, this is all backed up by quantified numbers and shit. This is what kills me. How can you people that vote Democrat can look at this shit and go, he's going to destroy democracy? And we were energy independent, best economy ever. Every minority had a job almost, except for the three

that fucking stand in my house. But that's a threat. It just shows how much they hate fucking this country and what it stands for. Anyways, in true Hollywood form, they are trotting out another bad dystopian sequel with the same old script. Yeah, put Nick Cage in it.

Sure would be a hit. That's the one that gets me. Out of all the shit they've been saying about him, that he's a threat to democracy, that's the one that I can't believe I don't see people, well, burning down the White House. Let's just put it this way. You want to see a real insurrection?

Let the Dems win this election. I'm hoping. I was very disappointed in the last insurrection. You people were very fucking dismal. Somebody should have come out of there with Pelosi's tits on a paper plate. And what was there? One gun, and that was used by that fucking cop

to kill a Trump fan and a veteran woman. Nobody was charged with insurrection, as I understand it. But that was worse than 9-11, remember? Suck a bag of dicks. Anyways, let's move on. Deadly Drunken Douchebag. They always say shocking video.

This one is truly shocking. And it happened in Long Island. A shocking new video captured the gut-wrenching moment an accused drunk driver slammed into a Long Island nail salon, killing an off-duty NYPD cop and about 42 Vietnamese. You know, what? No. Why are they so good at nails and shit everywhere I've lived LA makes sense you know but you know my wife LA Asian New York upstate at West Chester here in Georgia Vietnamese woman sweet as pie what is it about them that's like the Indians in 7-eleven. Yes, they have a real a real knack for Twinkies and

Triple-a batteries Nobody can explain that to me You'd think otherwise I don't know if the Chinese are into that because they they they you know, they cripple the women's feet. They think that's sexy I gotta write a bit on that. They make them wear shoes that are like baby shoes till they're like 30. They fucking feet get all the form and guys jerk off to it.

But they're all right. Anyways, injuring, it killed four people, an off duty NYPD cop and three, I think, girls that work there. I'm fucking when your time is up the minivan allegedly driven by accused drunk driver Stephen Schwalie. Oh Stephen this guy's like my age by the way took good care of himself. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Anyways, I don't know why I'm laughing because I'm not related to these people but he barrels over a curb briefly going airborne. It did. It looked like something out of fucking Smokey and the Bandit. At full speed into Hawaii Nail, oh excuse me, Hawaiian like to feed to, nail and spa in Deer Park, Long Island on June 28th. This is the beauty. I know the internet is bad for a lot of shit, but this is why I can't sleep at night. I pick up the phone and all of a sudden, I don't even know how I get into it. I go on X for one thing and it goes from a clip like this to three black guys beating up a nun to a baby shitting at a Wal-Mart. I don't know how you guys sleep. It's fascinating. But watch, this is really

scary. He's lucky he didn't take a, if he hit one of these park cars, he would have taken, I don't know how many people, and the guy, you'll see a guy walking out, tell me he's not counting his blessings. Although he got in his Jeep like a true New Yorker. I was going to go, I got shit to do. Sure people are dead. Sure my wife's in there. I just dropped her off. Maybe he had something to do with it.

Take a look at this. This is shocking video, really. I know look at him gets in his fucking jeep What happened to the second? They showed it twice. The second one zoomed in on a parked car. The crash killed off duty NYPD officer Amelia Renhak, 31 years old, who was having her nails done for a wedding later that day well that wedding gonna be a ball huh what the fuck do you call it off I don't know she was just an usher no I don't know what you do that's horrible and

three others by the way good friends of mine Jin Kai Chen 37 young ju 41 and my zi zheng 40 We just can't show you a choose e how she said she was a yo He said the guy needs a breathalyzer a 12 year old girl was among those injured in the drunken crash Please how cannot everybody be dead that was in there. Holy shit They're probably people just sitting there with their back to the window Unfucking isn't that life though, some jerk off just. Schwalle was arraigned on driving while intoxicated charges on July 1st in Suffolk County Court with Renhak's newlywed husband, NYPD Detective Carl Renhak, looking on. So he went to watch this scumbag get arraigned probably wanted to get at him

Prosecutors said Schwalie admitted to police that he downed 18 beers In the hours prior to the fatal crash and is being held on a million dollars bail Pending a return court appearance on July 9th if he was only black he'd be out next week Pending a return court appearance on July 9th if he was only black he'd be out next week Earlier records show that Schwalie was also hit with a DWI charge in Dicks Hills 11 years ago March 25th 2013 Exactly Unfucking real I'm fucking real

Hey guys for those of you on mug club stick around for the second half of this show Everyone else go to Nick dip comm join to get my full show all the time It's Steven Crowder's and a whole lot more. It's the best money And I'm not kidding as far as podcasts, you get so much shit for this. And those guys work like around the clock. So it's a good value. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and like I said, join to get my show crowders. And while you're there, click on the Nick Dip, the tour date button at the top of my website. August 9th, I'll be at the Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts.

Haven't done Jacksonville in a while. And then the next night, I think which is the Saturday, August 10th the Gas South Theater in Duluth, Georgia. Which I have never been to Duluth. It's close to Atlanta I'm told, so I will wear a bulletproof vest. Hi, good night everybody. Oh, yeah Thanks for watching!