The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden's Biggest Blunder | Nick Di Paolo Show #588

Episode Date: August 16, 2021

Mayhem on the Tarmac. Texas to Build its Own Wall. Guy Pulls Train on Girlfriend....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. That's the last time he'll forget the words to the Black National Anthem. E' un po' di tempo. Excuse me. Hi, everybody.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Welcome to the big show. It's Monday again. It's Monday. How are you? Good to be with you. Back from the gig up in Cohoes Music Hall, Co coho's new york right up there by albany thank everybody that came up good crowd for a in the middle of a pandemic and everybody not knowing what the rules are and shit it's so confusing they had a sign right before people entered that said
Starting point is 00:01:57 that you had to have your mask on at all times and there was one next to it saying you have to wear a mask just to your seat and that of course, that's my crowd. I didn't see a mask there. It was fucking beautiful. People who believe in freedom and all that silly stuff, you know what I'm saying? Fresh air. But it was a good crowd, very lively crowd. And I had a blast actually meeting all the people after the show. I get the best fans. People travel a few hours. It's unbelievable. People, a couple from Philly that I met a couple of years ago at Helium Comedy Club drove up from Philly. People don't do that for Neil fucking Diamond or Barry Manilow anymore. Anyhow, and then I had to go to a wedding, you know, to ruin the weekend. The next day in Jersey, and the person getting married,
Starting point is 00:02:47 my wife's best friend, who she grew up with her daughter, I have a picture of me holding this girl, who's now a married woman, as a baby. It's frightening. I'll be dead soon. And no, I don't look like Glenn Beck. Stop with that shit. Yeah, so we went to this wedding, and unbelievable. I ever go to someone's house where they make more money than God?
Starting point is 00:03:08 It's this nice house right on a lake somewhere in New Jersey. And it wasn't even that big a yard, but they had a dock, and the lake is right there. And a lady playing the violin and a band. It was tremendous. A lot of young broads over there, you know what I'm saying? What a party. I was pissed and moaning about it,
Starting point is 00:03:32 but I had about eight drinks three minutes into it. I was fine. And still feel like shit. So good weekend. And again, thank you guys for coming out and buying a shitload of merchandise after. Trust me, I need that.
Starting point is 00:03:46 What did I see when I got up this morning? I'm out on my porch, you know, having a cigarette and doing some work, and yeah, the cabinet truck shows up. Then the plumber, then the electrician, and holy Christ, if you had any idea. El Chapo would look at the price of this kitchen and go, what the fuck, man? Anyhow, let's get to it, everybody. How about our president, our commander in chief, our fake president? How about him?
Starting point is 00:04:15 He's been in office for seven, eight months and has already sealed the deal, the title of the worst president in the history of the United States. Hey, let's pull the troops out of Afghanistan. What could happen? I'm so lazy. I saw a clip on TV yesterday showing him a month ago being asked about what's going to happen. And he said, no, the Taliban will not take over. And here's the reason, blah, blah, blah. It made me so sick I couldn't watch it again. So I didn't pull it. It gave me nausea. And you motherless fucks at CNN and ABC and CNN.
Starting point is 00:04:50 Here's how you know things are really dire. CNN's actually covering the fall of Kabul. And you know what that means? They see it. You're always going to think like this. They see it, as my buddy said, and I said. We're on the same track. You're going to go, why are they covering it?
Starting point is 00:05:08 It's such a, oh, that's right, Kamala Harris. This is her opening. I'm telling you, this fucking Weasley demented president of ours, I don't know how he's going to get out of this one. This was the biggest blunder. There's people that were in Nam saying this is worse. Remember Nam when we left Nam, the fucking, it was at the Tan Son Hung Airport near Saigon, and you had the chopper on the roof of the hotel
Starting point is 00:05:30 and people dangling off it and shit? Remember that we left in disgrace? This is worse. We've only seen it coming for 20 years, and guess what? We're not prepared. Biden's like, don't worry about it. We'll pull them out,
Starting point is 00:05:43 and we have all kinds of... You stupid, demented bag of shit. He is everything. I'm trying not to be so angry. I don't know why. My fans love it. My face is all puffy from booze, but I was ripped. I got some pictures done. What a vain fucking prick. Anyhow, what was I talking about oh biden and uh and uh yeah anyhow so um it felt just like uh saigon and um can you imagine all those soldiers all that blood and treasure can you imagine being one of those soldiers we knew this was coming for 20 years and didn't have a plan didn't have a plan. Didn't have a plan. Please try to put a spin on this NBC and Lester Holt.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I wouldn't have had anything to do with you guys focusing on the white supremacist terrorists at home. That's where your focus was. I'll prove it later on in the show. I'm going to show you a graph that even for Biden in these times made me fucking crazy. How they're trying to lump you and I into legitimate terrorist groups around the world, how we're no different. Let's take a look at the tarmac. And remember this, folks. I was over there. Again, I'm not pretending to be a soldier. I had the privilege of going over there with the USO and entertaining the troops. I had the privilege of going over there with the USO and entertaining the troops.
Starting point is 00:07:05 We stayed in Kandahar. Me, Baba Booey, Artie Lang, Jimmy Florentine, Dave, the great Dave Attell. We went over there, and it was a trip of a life. I have never in my life, it's those things you do once, and I never had more gratitude for the women and men over there in uniform, how they live in 112 degree fucking heat. With a open cesspool about 200 yards from where they stay, the shit's literally bubbling. It's like simmering like gravy on this stuff. And that wind blows it all day. And you sleep in these wooden barracks that they throw. Unbelievable what these people sacrifice. They
Starting point is 00:07:43 have to look at this and go, you have to be kidding me. Families of guys who get blown up and women. I mean, you have to be shitting me. What a fuck up. Hey, a little lesson. No superpower has ever kicked the Taliban's ass. Why don't we mind our own fucking business? But now they're free. Oh, there's a ton of them now. They're swarming the joint. Here is the tarmac in Kabul. And check this video out. It's very reminiscent of Nam, only weirder. Looks like Sparrow Airlines. And they're having a special on a Tuesday.
Starting point is 00:08:25 75 bucks from Miami to L.A. Oh, my God. Can you imagine? Christ, how did we get to that point? I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. I'll tell you what. Keep your friends close, but your enemies close. Exactly, exactly. Which we took our eye off the ball, didn't we? I'll tell you what. Keep your friends close, but your enemies close. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Exactly. Which we took our eye off the ball, didn't we? Oh, yeah, we did. We were too worried about making sure that transgender people don't get shit on in the military. Making sure gay people had the right color fucking Kevlar. All the important shit. Well, that was going on over there. Do you think the Taliban has these people?
Starting point is 00:09:08 How scary are they that you got people flocking to get the fuck out of there? Because they took over. My goodness. Joe Biden, I cannot wait to see the spin on this one. And they're already trying to blame Trump for it. You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'm going to show you some footage now that is unbelievable. People were actually, a couple, and I think they were Afghans, actually,
Starting point is 00:09:37 hanging on to a, I think it was, was that a military jet, Matthew? It looked like it. It's a U.S. plane. It's a U.S. plane. You got to look real close when I show you this clip. About five, eight seconds in, you're going to see a tiny dot drop from the plane. That is a human being. They said two of them fell to their deaths trying to cling to the, can you, how bad is life over there?
Starting point is 00:10:03 Now, those people, if they show up at the border, I understand. Not somebody from El Salvador because their cousin got shot up at a drug deal, but this I understand. Check, check this out. This is creepy. Right there. See that dot? See that speck? It's about a third away down the screen. A tiny, tiny... That is a person. Can you fucking imagine how bad life is?
Starting point is 00:10:44 I tried that once. I worked in Winnipeg for like two weeks in February. I had to get out of there. I grabbed onto the wheel well. Luckily, I landed in a pool that was frozen. Just knocked the wind out of me. Matt shaking his head. Oh, that poor prey.
Starting point is 00:11:03 No, you're not. Yeah! With the Taliban establishing its rule over Afghanistan after completing the capture of Kabul, I like Kabul, shocking visuals from the country pouring in, showing panic-stricken people desperate to flee the country. Can you imagine the fear the Taliban has put into it? And they'll rape and kill and behead people, you know, people who were allies of ours. Shortly after a video of a huge crowd jostling to get into an aircraft at Kabul airport flooded the social media on Monday.
Starting point is 00:11:44 Another unforeseen video splashed TV screens all over what we just showed you. And oof, oof. I don't remember people falling. Remember, it really is reminiscent of the helicopter and arm and shit, only it was a little more controlled over there. You thought the North Vietnamese were bad. So anyways, the Taliban takes over the capital, Kabul, and they're excited about it. Very excited.
Starting point is 00:12:20 With the fall of Kabul, the war in Afghanistan comes to an anonymous end. The country exactly as it was when we invaded it in 2001, in the grip of fanatical Islamists who rape and persecute women, practice medieval punishment, and harbor terrorists who plot to destroy the Western world. That's what these motherfuckers do all day. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa. A bacala.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I agree. Can you imagine? The families of the 2,312 American military personnel who died there and the 20,066 who were wounded have every right to feel fucking anger and bitterness. It's just sickening. Yeah, we killed Osama bin Laden and... But you don't have opening? No. But why not? But otherwise, over three administrations, we barely articulated a mission beyond the defeat of al-Qaeda.
Starting point is 00:13:31 The Taliban were never vanquished. The Afghan army crumbled. The democracy we helped build was ground into dust as the president fled the nation himself, the president of Afghanistan. There he is right there. Bye-bye, dickhead. With 12 people hanging onto a scarf on the way out of there. Can you fucking imagine? What's that feel like when you're president, Bahmooses?
Starting point is 00:13:57 Sort of like what we're going through. Biden is the president. We don't have one. We don't have a leader. Afghanistan was the forgotten war from the start. The Bush administration quickly moved into Iraq. Obama didn't give a fuck. Trump even less. Maybe it never would have worked even with more resources, planning, and leadership. It probably wouldn't work. If this century has taught America anything, it's that democracy cannot be imposed on others.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Why would we think it could be when you think about it? Because picture somebody trying to impose, well, we are right now. The Biden administration actually imposing Marxism on us. It sort of feels like that. But it's a tragedy that the glimmer of hope provided, particularly to the young girls who could finally go to school over there,
Starting point is 00:14:45 it's now gone. What was the point of all that? Can you fucking imagine the terror in those people's eyes? They'll go from door to door tonight and, you know, start massacring people. We've seen it before. Maybe we should have sat down with the Russians
Starting point is 00:15:00 after they tried going in there for like 20 years, remember? Apparently these guys can fight. But don't worry, Americanos. Biden, who should be impeached, or the 25th Amendment, just pick something. He just proved he has no idea what's going on. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:15:24 Guess what? The empty pantsuit, the black-slican Indian woman is going to be running this. She's so far. She makes Biden look sharp. She's so far in over her head. I swear to God, this is her opening. I'm not sure. Before I wrap it up on the nightmare that is Kabul and the Taliban taking over,
Starting point is 00:15:42 the nightmare that is Kabul and the Taliban taking over. I had the privilege and the honor, like I said, to go over there in 20... I want to say 2007, was it? With the boys that I mentioned earlier. I mentioned it earlier, right?
Starting point is 00:16:00 With Artie Lang and Baba Bowie and Jimmy Florentine, Dave Attell, myself, went to Afghanistan, stayed in Kandahar, and this is me doing stand-up. I'm playing this because I can't believe some of these guys I'm playing to probably never came home. This is what's making me nuts.
Starting point is 00:16:18 They flew us out to a forward operating base in the middle of nowhere. We had, you know what, Black Hawk helicopters and the other helicopters escorting us out there. A Ford operating base, if you guys aren't familiar with it, that's a base whose purpose is to draw enemy fire in the middle of nowhere. We had to have escorts out there. And we played to like 50 guys in 112 degree heat, and we were glad to do it. You could see how much they loved just to see some faces. That's us on the C-17, I believe.
Starting point is 00:16:50 Jimmy Florentine is my boy Artie, and look at the size of that fucker. And they let us in the cockpit. We flew at night to one of them. They let me and Artie go up into the cockpit. And what's scary is the two guys flying it are about half our age with crew cuts. I'm going through the night. Crazy. What else we got from that? Just the clip and the highlight for me and Artie and Dave Attell. There was a guy who was a sergeant, young sergeant. He was a black guy.
Starting point is 00:17:27 His last name was White. I remember that. Coolest dude. He asked me and Artie, once we're up there, you guys want to get in the jump seat and shoot the 240, whatever we were shooting? And we said, of course. So I have a clip of me. This has been on my website. And these helicopters, I was shitting my pants when we got in it on the ground
Starting point is 00:17:46 because this loose wire is hanging down and you're like this is gonna fly this like fucking just random wires and shit i was sitting there an open door with a seat belt on not a big fan of heights but i had to fucking do this so they let us get in they They let me and then Artie and Attell eventually get in the seat and shoot this machine gun. And here is me doing it. And love the guy for letting me do on a sandbar. And you know what's creepy? And this is the truth. When we landed, I see the guy,
Starting point is 00:18:34 the sergeant, the black dude who let us do that, I see him getting kind of a stern talking to by his superior. Apparently, when he let me shoot, we were over
Starting point is 00:18:42 a friendly village. Shit. I was just aiming at a dirt mound, like there was a big dirt mountain. But apparently, there were people that lived somewhere around there. But that, I will never forget what we saw there. I will never forget Flannels, Choppers. You would see a desert, right? You would see a woman in all black walking.
Starting point is 00:19:06 And there's nothing, the nearest, they literally live in mud huts with big mud walls around them. It's amazing what they built, but the nearest one looked like it was 12 miles from where she was walking. The wind's blowing and the sand, and I'm going, I felt like we were on a different planet,
Starting point is 00:19:23 and I'm thinking, what possibly could we either have in common or why in that part of the world, what's the conflict? But of course, they want to take down the Western world according to our, so I guess we have to be there. But it was fucking crazy. And I show that again because what an honor to go over there. And we had an old Vietnam vet babysitting us, this black dude. And I'll show you more pictures maybe during the week. We have a picture of me, all the crew, me, Florentine, Atel, Artie, Bubba Bowie, in front of a helicopter about to fly. We had the helmets on, Artie's guts hanging out. Me and Attila holding guns the wrong
Starting point is 00:20:05 way. It's an American flag and a chopper behind us. These are the coolest people on the planet, these men and women that really, and they live, like I said, oh, it's just, it's just humbling. Feel so spoiled. But what an experience. I'll tell you who's had enough. Donald Trump Jr., friend of this show, he tweeted, he sure did, he tweeted this. I don't know about you guys, but I'd gladly trade a few mean but also true tweets for some of that $1.85 gas, Middle East peace, energy independence, record unemployment, rising wages, a safe and secure border, and no skyrocketing inflation right about now, he said. Hashtag Biden's failure.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Let him have it, Donny boy. You know what's sad though? The people that voted wouldn't even agree to that. What are you talking about? It's all Trump's fault. I don't know why. I don't know. He started the time of pulling them out.
Starting point is 00:21:15 Skip your time overseas. We're getting to it. Oh, what was it? Was it in there? Well, it's not in the teleprompter. There's a script for it. We added it at the end. Oh, well. Well, was it in there? Well, it's not in the teleprompter. There's a script for it. We added it at the end.
Starting point is 00:21:25 Oh, well. Anyways. Okay, drop this in before what I just did. Yeah. And three, two, one. So in relation to what I'm talking about, the terrorism and all that, back to why we took our eye off the ball and what an asshole Biden is. NBC reports new Department of Homeland Security terrorism advisory. Get this.
Starting point is 00:22:00 This is in quotes. It's not based on any actual threats or plots. So they're just, you know, making making the shit up, apparently. But it's all lies. What did that tweet say? I'm sorry. Is it in here? Yeah, it goes on to claim this is a tweet by what's-her-name, goes on to claim potential threats from anti-governmental sentiment, anti-COVID, pro-Trump, and uses 9-11 and, in quotes, religious holidays as triggering this warning. Can you fucking imagine the balls?
Starting point is 00:22:39 Hello, everyone! Hello! Check this out. Check out this list of threats. Here's Pete Williams at NBC doing what they do best, sucking the dick of any Democrat president and their hatred of this country. And this jerk-off's been there for a thousand years. He'd be the first one against, one of the first ones against the wall to be executed.
Starting point is 00:23:02 Listen, I don't know how he can read this with a straight face. Pete Williams. New terrorism advisory is not based on any actual threats or plots, but it says there's a rise in anti-government rhetoric. Some of it is opposition to covid public health rules like mask and vaccine measures. Some calls for violent action are based on claims of election fraud or a belief that Donald Trump can be reinstated. or based on claims of election fraud or a belief that Donald Trump can be reinstated. And DHS says the coming 20th anniversary of the 9-11 attacks and religious holidays later this year could be catalysts for violence. The last terror advisory was issued in May.
Starting point is 00:23:35 What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. Matthew, can you put that back up? That image of what the three priorities are as far as terrorism threats. This is so insulting. so insulting and this has to be a low let's take a look at this again potential terror threats look how evil this is folks if you aren't out of your mind at this you're not paying attention opposition to covid measures now who would that be that makes you a terrorist according to our government who would that be hmm they will tell you it's all white, dumb rubes who voted for Trump, when in actuality, there's more black people who are against the vaccine in New York and
Starting point is 00:24:32 other major cities than white people by like two to one. So there, I guess you'd consider them terrorists too, huh, Joe? Claims of election fraud, which is anybody who voted for Trump, basically. Do you, okay. And then the third one, 9-11 anniversary, religious, they don't even get specific, they're so ballers as far as the holidays. Do you see what they did there? They lumped you and me, people who think like that, in with the people who took down the towers on 9-11. That's what they're fucking doing.
Starting point is 00:25:00 People who oppose COVID measures, people who say the election was stolen, and 9-11, we're lumped in with them. Just let that sit in. Your president and vice president and all the jerk-offs who voted for him. Again, he didn't win. He lost in a landslide.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Every time a story like this comes up, it's proof. We are terrorists, which is an insult to real terrorists. I can't blow myself up. It's my wife's job. Now get out of here. It is. ah another word you just sticking up for your civil rights and shit makes you a uh a terrorist it's freedom baby yeah it used to be now we're in a totalitarian government, a Marxist government. I got to tell you, ladies and gentlemen, you people with kids out there, because we're getting to a story about the people showing up, you know, the parents now showing up at school in the thousands in Tennessee. This should set it
Starting point is 00:26:17 off. When you got kids and the government's telling you they're going to have to wear masks, knowing the damage it does to young people as far as psychologically, physically. When you start fucking with people's kids, it's like going up to a bear with their cubs and, you know, kicking one in the face. See how that works out for you. I am just, I'm at my wit's end. Necktie by Rich Wood, by the way, the great Rich Wood. So you're the terrorists, keep that in mind.
Starting point is 00:26:53 You are as dangerous as the motherfuckers that just took over Kabul, according to Biden. That filthy, no good, mindless ass. As we crumble at home. Here's some more proof that we're crumbling at home, but this is an uplifting story. Texas, you know the state of Texas that's supposedly, you know, starting to turn blue because all the jerk-offs from LA are moving there? Texas to build its own border wall. Oh my God, I got hard when I read this, and I'm not a big fan of Governor Abbott.
Starting point is 00:27:25 He seems like a wolf in sheep's clothing, too. Texas Department of Transportation. It's at the ideally $25 million for the construction of a two-mile concrete barrier along the border in Eagle Pass. That's the transportation. That's not the wall, folks. Those are the Klansmen with giant heads meeting. Along the border in Eagle Pass, giving the first glimpse into the cost of a state-funded,
Starting point is 00:27:49 not federally, but state-funded border wall. How's that going to work? I mean, I'm loving what they do, but the first day some of that fence goes up, you're going to hear this from, you know, you're going to hear, Good morning, my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! Oh, my God. Under the project, the state has also contracted for a temporary fence near the right-of-way along State Loop 480,
Starting point is 00:28:21 which the Department of Public Safety has designated as a high-traffic area for illegal immigration. The fence, why do we have to call it a fence? It is, please tell me that's not it. Something that can be beat with a 14-foot ladder at Home Depot, which where, ironically, a lot of legals hang out. Let me fix my seat here. Excuse me, that was my necktie.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Let me fix my seat here. Excuse me, that was my necktie. The fence construction of which Abbott has touted online costs the state $280,000. That's it? What's it made of, fucking balsa wood? The remainder of the $25 million estimate will go into a concrete barrier along the same right-of-way that will be able to remain permanently
Starting point is 00:29:02 or be relocated if needed, said Ryan LaFontaine, a spokesperson for the Transportation Department. The work is scheduled to be completed in December. I didn't even know that it was underway. Renee Ease, a spokesperson for Abbott, said the construction, I didn't know Mr. Abbott was in a wheelchair either. Matthew just told me, yeah, they've been hiding it. Those look like my legs before somebody introduced me to Nautilus back in the 80s.
Starting point is 00:29:36 Come on. I don't know about this guy. First of all, he's so slippery, I never knew he was in a wheelchair. But anyways, he's doing the right thing here, so you go, Governor Abbott. Said that construction is part of three initiatives done in conjunction with Operation Lone Star, as we say in Boston, Lone Star. As your cousin says, Lone Star State, great beer. The governor's effort to secure the border, building a border wall,
Starting point is 00:30:04 utilizing strategic barriers, and erecting temporary fencing. A $25 million contract was awarded to a company, I wonder if Dick Cheney was involved, to build a barrier at the border on state land that the Texas Department of Public Safety identified as a high traffic area for illegal immigration, she said. DPS has also been working with the Texas Military Department engineers to identify locations for temporary fencing as a deterrent to illegal immigrants that are entering Texas. So they're finally trying to make it hard for them to get in. You'll be hearing this at your local movie theaters.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Can you imagine, though, living on the Texas border? I've watched some of the news, you know, the channels that report the truth, and the poor people are afraid to leave their goddamn houses without guns and shit. They wake up and there's trash in their front yards and condoms and sombreros, kazoos, little Debbie cakes. Apparently those are universal. It's clear from the governor's announcement that these are all separate and unique projects as part of his overall border security plan to protect Texans and our state, she said. Abbott announced his plans for a state-funded border wall in June after declaring a state of disaster at the border because of an increase in illegal immigration.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Let's review. Since Biden got in office, we lost control of the border completely. There is no border. They opened it. We just ran out of Afghanistan with our tail between our legs because he wanted to withdraw everybody.
Starting point is 00:31:59 We have inflation. Gas is up over $4. What the fuck were you people thinking that stole the election? I ask you, ask not what the Mexicans can do for their country. That month, Abbott said he would transfer $250 million from the Texas Department of Criminal Justice 2023 budget to the Texas Facilities Commission to be used as a down payment for the border wall. Abbott acknowledged that the wall, which he believes could extend for hundreds of miles, this is excellent, could cost more than $250 million, but said the state would pay for it.
Starting point is 00:32:38 He also launched a state fund. That's one thing taxpayers wouldn't mind, I'm guessing, in Texas, That's one thing taxpayers wouldn't mind, I'm guessing, in Texas, pitching in for. A state fundraising campaign, which has raised about $936,000 in private donations over the last two months. You better pick up the pace. Did you say $250 million and you got $906? Jesus. Thank God you weren't running the Jerry Lewis tele-haunt. Kids will be stuck in crutches forever. I mean, pick up the pace.
Starting point is 00:33:08 You know what I'm saying? Wow. Have we ever been in crazier times? Let me ask you that, bro. I am still fuming. I was literally tossing and turning last night. Thinking about that jerk, I'm having the nerve, our president, to compare U.S. citizens of any stripe to the fucking terrorists that want to do us harm
Starting point is 00:33:30 let's lighten it up let's go to a city that's well it's leading the way into decay and care hey can I ask you a question when is fucking de Blasio finally out? Anybody know? Has he not been there since 1978 or is it me? Man, how time crawls when you have a Marxist running a city. Anyways, here's a little, this is, I like this story. I found it endearing. I don't blame the people in it. We've done stories like this before. There's a black dude in New York who drives the subway. He let his boo-boo, his girl, his chick, his honey, drive the train. I've done this story before. Now, normally, I'd get mad and go, what's going on? But these people are just playing their role in a city that's lost its mind. Guy pulls train on girlfriend, I put. That's naughty. An MTA motor man allegedly let his gal pal operate a, of course he did, a D train through
Starting point is 00:34:29 multiple stations during a tunnel of love trip in Brooklyn on Friday. And the next stop could be jail. He let his chick, hey, guys don't do anything for a handjob. Here, take the wheel. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. It's one thing to get a blow job, right, when you're going down the highway by your girlfriend or wife or some shit. I mean, if you go off the road, you're going to kill yourself and her maybe, but come on,
Starting point is 00:34:53 a train full of people? Let's think this out. Cops are looking to question the wannabe conductor Dominique Belgrave, 28, after she posted an Instagram story showing her and her beau, identified by police as Terrell Harris, holding hands over the train's controls on the romantic jaunt through the 50th Street, 55th Street, and 62nd Street station. Imagine you're on that train reading the paper. You have no idea. You're trying to get home to your wife and kids, and meanwhile, the driver's finger popping his girlfriend. Yes, this is me. She put this on Instagram. Look at him licking her face. I can't even get mad. We're living in a world of, yes, this is me operating the train right now, Belgrave, the woman says in one of her multiple videos posted to her account.
Starting point is 00:35:46 I guess you're not afraid of getting busted, which has since been made private. Why would you put it up on your... What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? What the fuck's the matter with you? Sorry, Jimmy.
Starting point is 00:36:02 It's my mother's name. What'd you say? You getting wise, Dominique? What the fuck's the matter with you? Sorry, Jimmy. It's my mother's name. What'd you say? You getting wise, Dominique? What the fuck's the matter with you? Fat fuck ought to order a sign. At one point, as the love train choo-choos through the underground stations, Belgrave is shown in footage. Because when you're committing a crime,
Starting point is 00:36:17 you definitely want to have footage of it laying around the house. Belgrave is shown in footage alone at the controls and posing for a selfie as she's doing the speed of light through, uh, for a selfie with Harris and the cab. As the train zips towards Coney Island, Stilwell Avenue, Harris explains that the marker, this is the woman, I mean, this is the guy complaining while she's driving it. She explained, he explains to her, the marker showing where operators who are driving the train must stop is hard to see from the cab, and Belgrave echoes the complaint.
Starting point is 00:36:55 It's not enough that they're doing something illegal. They're bitching about it. And she puts, God, I love these people. And by people, I mean people who steal tranks. Y'all ain't put the stickers in a visible place, she exclaims in a beautiful black verbiage. She's complaining. She's been behind the wheel for three seconds. Houston, we have a problem.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Please stand clear of the closing doors. Please stand clear of the closing doors. A third clip shows her entering the public section of the car saying, Back inside I go. Belgrave's caption reads, listen to this, Conducting the D you heard. Footage of the transit-loving temptress driving the, I love how the writer has to come up with more and more descriptions, driving the motorman wild went viral among MTA workers over the weekend
Starting point is 00:37:51 and eventually caught the eye of a supervisor who responded and reported them to the NYPD. Despite the post-trust train wreck, Belgrave bragged about the illegal breach of the operator's cab on Facebook. Well, what's the sense of doing something like this? You ain't got to put it on Facebook and make your friends laugh. And she suggested
Starting point is 00:38:12 she might be angling for a transit authority gig herself. Listen to this. I'm going to read her tweet. All you MTA fuckers trying to add me on my Facebook and IG. Eat a big, fat, turtleneck, cheesy dick. How about that?
Starting point is 00:38:33 Oh, my God. A turtleneck cheesy. That's an uncircumcised reference, ain't it? Bitch, be funny up in a trail uh... then she made an announcement that uh... over the speakers that some of recorded uh... only and only
Starting point is 00:38:56 it has been offered a book on station on the other hand i think that it's a bit down the road and he got a few and i would like to please take a look at the closing dollars she's in a local, you got to express. Please stay glad of the closing doors. She's in a brassiere. Other MTA workers reported the incident to the NY. I bet you there were thousands who saw it and laughed their balls off, who hate their bosses.
Starting point is 00:39:19 Anyway, probably a good job, benefits and whatnot. All might start at the bottom, she says, but I'm going to move my way up. They're going to see me in traffic. She did not immediately return her request for comment. It's not clear whether Harris or Belgrave
Starting point is 00:39:38 will face criminal charges. Can I ask you a question? Why isn't it clear? Why isn't it clear? Shouldn't it be crystal clear that they will? Huh? We given that much leeway now? Part of the reparations deal?
Starting point is 00:39:53 I don't know. Anyhow, let's move on. Let's move on to sports on the Nick DiPaolo show. You remember Jay Cutler? Pretty good quarterback. Kind of inconsistent here and there, but he was with the Bears for quite a while. Former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler
Starting point is 00:40:10 has been dropped from an Uber Eats ad campaign. Oh my God, I will not sleep tonight. Over his stance against what, folks? Rape, murder? No, against masks that you wear. Mask mandates in school. Apparently he has an opinion about that. And guess what?
Starting point is 00:40:28 Uber Eats disagrees with his opinion. So this. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired.
Starting point is 00:40:36 You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. That wasn't even him. That was a clip of all the offensive coordinators that gave him the bad nose as he moved on throughout his career. Cutler's best known for his eight seasons with the Chicago Bears
Starting point is 00:40:51 and for his failed marriage with a real piece of ass, in my opinion. Every time, I didn't even know who this woman was, but every time I saw a picture, I would stop in the New York Post. Reality TV star, Kristen Cavallari. Yummy, yummy. How'd you fuck that up, Jay? He's like, how did I fuck it up? Look at me.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I'm 6'6 and handsome. Get all the ass I want. Anyways, he said the food delivery service pulled out of the deal because its views aren't aligned with Cutler's recent statements. That's what the company said. The former athlete teased a potential campaign to run for his school board in tweets as well. Good for him. God, I like her a lot. Lost a commercial.
Starting point is 00:41:34 This is what he tweeted. Lost a commercial with Uber Eats partnering with the NFL. Was going to film in Los Angeles. Views aren't aligned, meaning his and the company's. Guess they don't like future school board members. Freeze up my weekend, Cutler tweeted on Friday. There's Uber Eats. Here's a guy. I ordered a cheesesteak on Tuesday, and this is what I see in front of my house. Him be chomping on it and whatnot. Cutler has tweeted in support of anti-mask protests by parents
Starting point is 00:42:06 in williams county tennessee this has become like ground zero and you know why travis what's his name clay clay travis yeah clay travis he's the guy that took over for rush him and buck sexton and um clay's a big radio guy and down there so. So he's actually helped pull this together. Anyways, and Jay Cutler actually weighed in. This is in Tennessee. Posted at Outkick.com. Jay shrugged off the move by Uber Eats. Quipping, tend to cook at home anyway.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Ooh, now he's getting a little fresher. You snotty little bastard. Let's take a look at the footage of what's going on. These are parents who have had it with mask mandates for their kids. Take it easy, you violent terrorists, white people. He appears to be seriously considering a potential run, Cutler is, for his local school board in Williams County. Uber, in a statement to The Post on Sunday, said it prefers to work with individuals who support its work in helping people get vaccinated. Oh, is that how you feel? Who gives a fuck what you think?
Starting point is 00:43:26 Listen to how they word this to make you feel bad about your anti-mask position. We are proud of all the work Uber has done over the last year to help get as many people vaccinated as possible. Hey, does that count the ones that died after and got sick or just didn't want it? and got sick or just didn't want it. As such, we prefer to partner with those who support that work, you know, that agree with our point of view, the spokesman said. Uber has pledged 10 million free rides to individuals to vaccination sites. Let me translate that for you. We are, we're fascists and we believe and fucking up people's livelihoods or
Starting point is 00:44:06 incomes if they disagree with us politically because we are now part of the initial stages of this country turning socialist where big government sucks the uh dick of big corporations and they work together which again also known as some light form of Marxism or socialism. Mask mandates have spurred debates and protests all over the country, some of which have become violent, including in LA when a clash between two groups left one victim stabbed outside City Hall on Saturday. In New York State, incoming Governor Kathy Hochul, seen here, not bad for a Dem broad, in her late 70s, said she believes masks should be mandatory for students and staff this fall. But you know what? She says, we'll leave the decision up to local districts. She probably
Starting point is 00:44:59 didn't finish her sentence and go, you know what? If they don't agree with me, I'm going to withhold funds. I don't even know if you can do that, but I'm guessing. But she sounds a little more open-minded. Meanwhile, Cuomo, I got a piece of pizza in Albany. Guess who took it out of the oven and gave it to me? Governor Cuomo. Clay Travis tweeted, the anti-mask at schools revolution is underway in Tennessee. These are the people who couldn't get in the meeting tonight. They had thousands of people who couldn't even get in. They've never seen a crowd this big before a school board meeting. You know why?
Starting point is 00:45:34 They've had it with the assholes that run this country. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. I'm telling you, you want to tip off a revolution? Really? Piss off the parents. Go ahead. Do we have any video? Or did we already play it? We played it already. All right. So good for Clay Travis, by the way. Powerful voice now. And that's not just happening in Tennessee. You're going to see these meetings get bigger and bigger. But can I just give you more instructions, you people, you parents and shit?
Starting point is 00:46:10 Even ask your kids to do it. I know you guys have jobs and have to work and support your kids and stuff. You got to start doing what they did. Start doxing these people. The school board members, find out where they live. Show up at their houses. Yeah, but Nick, you don't want to. Yeah, you do.
Starting point is 00:46:24 I want to get down in the mud and roll with these people. Put their personal information online. Scare the shit out of them. You can't commit violence, apparently. The left can. They can burn and loot and shit. But you can't. You're already on a terror watch list.
Starting point is 00:46:36 But just do that. Start doxing them and stuff, following them into restaurants. Come on. I want to see, what are we going to lay down and take in the ass? Speaking of taking the ass,'s it folks what you heard me uh that is it for today ladies and gentlemen and again thank you to you people came out to see me at the cohoes music hall I had a great time up there and um don't forget the comics gym.com the permanent home of the nick dipolo show don't forget thecomicsgym.com, the permanent home of the Nick
Starting point is 00:47:06 DiPaolo Show. Don't forget nickdip.com. Oh, I got to tell you something before we go. It's either a week from tomorrow or a week from Wednesday. I am shooting a film in upstate New York. Can't talk about it. You know how that works. So I'm going to be up there for two weeks, so I don't know, we'll figure something out to keep you entertained, okay, but when you're on a film set, it's day, night, morning, you don't know when you're going to shoot, you sit around, wait, whatever, I don't know, but we'll figure something out, but again, that's, I think, a week from either Tuesday or Wednesday. And I'm going to be gone for a good 14 days.
Starting point is 00:47:49 So, again, some of those are weekend days. And Friday, Saturday, Sunday, we don't do it anyways. Won't be that much. But Matthew has agreed to, he plays the fiddle and the spoons. He'll be, we'll figure something out. But I just wanted to give you a heads up. You guys are my fans.
Starting point is 00:48:07 You know I've been at this forever. You don't get a chance to be in a film very often. So I think you would support me. Boy, did I drink a lot of booze. I mean, I was looking good before I went to the wedding. And you know, big as a fuck. I don't like this. That is it.
Starting point is 00:48:22 Don't forget Cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.com. Tell me about the person. I'll make a video on my phone, a minute, minute and a half for a small fee, ruining that person's day or having, you know, saying happy birthday to whoever
Starting point is 00:48:38 or happy anniversary or congratulations on the circumcision, Billy. That is it. You guys, thank you. I will say you're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a goodcision, Billy. That is it. You guys, thank you. And I will say, you're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music

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