The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden's Bogus Border Bill | Nick Di Paolo Show #1521

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about cop beaters busted in AZ, Biden's border bill, NYC crime spree and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. Got that right, Bob. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show on a Tuesday. As you know, I'll be flying the hell out of here right after this show. Yeah, I do have the work ethic of an Amish fellow. Somebody in their late 70s, pretty good. I'll be on Crowder tomorrow morning. That'll be 9 Dallas time. 10 here, I believe. Yes. And Thursday morning. Then catching a flight back here and going to my ceramic class.

Great to be with you. I don't know what happened since last night. It's the same headlines over and over again, only some of them a little upgraded and fucking... All I know is I haven't heard one person, a Republican politician, in the last 30 years go, hey, this fucking party that challenges has to be destroyed. That's where the lingo should be at this point. It has...

The Democrat Party has to be obliterated and replaced with something a little, you know, a little pro-American. The outright hate they have and if you vote this way you're voting for these policies. Don't give me this shit. You're voting for the you're not going to recognize this country. Good luck to whoever the next president who's going to deport all these people. You think they're calling Trump Hitler now.

Wait till he starts knocking on doors. I hope that's the case. And forces people at gunpoint to leave at three in the morning. That's all that's going to solve this. Or a civil fucking war. Otherwise, we got nothing to say to them. Somebody say that, other than J.D. Vance, who I love. The more I hear that guy, the more I want him on the ticket.

Super bright dude who they hate, which is a good sign. How the fuck can the squad still have a say in our government? You guys don't see this spitting in your face? You probably do because you're fans of mine. You vote like I do. It's insane that border wall immigration thing we talked about, the bill they're trying to pass. We're going to let 5,000 people in a day.

That's it, though. And that's like the moderate part of the bill. It's insane. Spitting in your face, especially black and brown people. They're furious, and they should be. It's, fuck, I can't believe. Beating up cops and then not putting them in jail that night. Think about it.

They're giving you the finger. They can't wait to move you out of the way, American citizens. And it's all about what? So they can vote Democrat for the next thousand years. I got news for you. It won't be can vote Democrat for the next thousand years. I get news for you. It won't be around this planet in the next hundred years. So do whatever you're going to do. I can't.

Honest to God, last night I go, maybe I should change my show. Because my blood pressure is going through the fucking roof. I can't believe what I'm seeing. I'm not exaggerating. This isn't hyperbole. And again, if you vote Democrat, it's to the point where I will fucking ignore you the rest of my life, which I never did. But if you're watching what I'm watching, and then people are in shock on CNN when they

announce that they arrest people in Florida that get caught shoplifting and shit, they're literally like, what? Honest to God, it is the creepiest thing. I always knew the left hated this country. I had no idea. And where did they hide these people? Where did Kathy Hochul come from? Where the fuck do they make these people?

Where was she hiding? Under Cuomo's cape? She's insane, Whitmer. All these douchebags that have come on the scene. I mean, they can't wait to change this country into some type of government that's never worked ever in the history of this planet. Insane. I just, I'm watching it.

I can't even give you the specifics on the bill because it's not even that complicated. Mr. Biden could snap his fingers today, executive order, and shut that border down. But now he pretends, they try to negotiate it. Now it's on the Republicans. They don't want to pass something. That'll make it worse. But they blame them. And then the media, who's in cahoots with the left, goes out and that's the message, that the Republicans are holding up immigration. It's fucking insane. Once again, the right is playing defense. Do any of you other than Abbott have a fucking idea? He should be on the ticket. How about blowing that up and putting five guys on a ticket? Since the Democrats want to blow up the Supreme

Court, let's pack the ticket with far right. Get somebody from the fucking Klan in there. with far right. Get somebody from the fucking Klan in there. David Duke's sitting around. You could put David Duke in there. He would be a moderate compared to what the left is. Yeah, I'm surprised that there's no entertaining of bringing Abaddon as a VP. We need somebody to protect Texas

because it's going to be America. You really? I want him where he is because he's really effective. I was never a big fan. Because other than this, he always sounded kind of middle of the road, you know? But yeah. No, we got plenty of...

The Republicans have a deep bench. I mean, a deep bench. A lot of good people. When Trump says that, he's not kidding. I just hope he's around. Everybody's assuming he's going to be around. And a little tiny part of me wants to see them try to put him in jail. And that would be the litmus test.

I've been saying this today. There's been eight litmus tests. Because if it doesn't happen then, it never will. Yeah, well, it should have happened a long time ago. But yes, God damn it. I had to get that off my chest. It was like diarrhea. And I'm not fucking happy about it.

I love going to the, you know, Texas area, but these planes, every fucking story I'm reading, there's bolts missing. They're hiring people who used to work at Wendy's to do the mechanics. You know, they found the hot dog wrapper in one of the engines. It's getting frightening. Anyways, that was a nice little rant. Let's get on with it. Illegal scum caught in Arizona. Getting frightening. Anyways, that was a nice little rant. Let's get on with it.

Illegal scum caught in Arizona. Follow up on the New York City cop beating that we showed you yesterday. Several of the migrants believed to have fled New York City after being charged with assaulting. Two NYPD officers have been arrested in Phoenix, Arizona, per multiple reports. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. La, la, la, la, la. The migrants who have not yet been named, by the way, they were released that night, you know,

remember, by Alvin Bragg right on the street. Again, proving my point that I mentioned earlier. Yeah, and they're given a court date as if they're going to show up. Yeah, they'll have to, just to try to fool the people who vote Democrat. Migrants who have not yet been named were taken into custody.

I'll name them Pedro, Pedro, and Pedro. Monday night at a Greyhound bus station, Immigration and Customs Enforcement sources told Fox News. That would be ICE. They are part of a group of six migrants who were arrested and charged with robbery and felony assault

following a vicious attack on NYPD officers in time. Robbery? What were they robbing? Doesn't matter. In Times Square on January 27th, only to be sprung hours after that. Police sources previously said that four of the migrants charged in the Times Square attack,

Darwin Andres Gomez, 19, listen to all the family members that are coming over because they were in danger from their home country, Kelvin Servita Arroca, 19. William Rojas, that's Rojas, 21. And Jormen Reverend, 24. May have fled the city after using fake names to obtain tickets from a charity

that helps bring down the United States. I mean, helps migrants. Look at these four dudes. And by the way, you're going to tell me they don't have a fucking police record in their shithole country a mile long if they keep records over there. You know, a lot of these people are coming right out of prison, these single military age males. It's an invasion. He said, while the video is shocking, this is the fat fuck, Alvin Bragg. While the video is shocking and disturbing, there he is, look at him.

You fat cat! Wow. He said, while the video is shocking and disturbing, in order to secure convictions in the court of law, it is essential that we conclusively identify each defense. What does that mean? You fucking idiot! What does that fucking mean?

If they stabbed the cop to death right there, you'd do the same thing? Because you didn't know who they were? What does that mean? You fat fuck. That's where the bullshit comes in. Aye, aye, aye, aye, fucking aye. Again, he was appointed, not elected.

I don't give a shit what anybody says. Somehow, you know, I know Obama's fingerprints are all over the, and Soros. I'm telling you, they're meeting in a room, go, look it, this is working. Biden's the best thing that ever happened to this party. I can hear him now. Hey, in the second half of this show, ladies and gentlemen, speaking of, I'll be talking about the attorneys general, that's more than one one warning on how the government is going to use AI against us. And it's creepy. It's freaking creepy.

Also, Biden in an interview gives at least 40 reasons why he's a big failure. And none of them are his fault. It's even shocking for him. When I read that, you're going to die. It's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get Mug Club. Go to nickdip.com. That's where you get that. You'll be glad you did. You're welcome. Cocaina. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, Hey, boys and girls, head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time.

You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to NickDip.com and click on store. Again, that's NickDip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Biden's bogus border bill. Wow, that's some alliteration. That's alliteration.

I was just reading how Gandolfini, talk about a boozer, they said. And I heard that. I heard he could put away like nobody's, and in season five, I just read this. It was interesting that he was really sometimes showing up four hours late and angry as a motherfucker.

Anyways, the Senate's draft border bill that promised to reduce migration chaos at the border actually invites a greater inflow by welcoming migrants. Those are illegals, by the way. All right. Excuse me. I'm watching Fox News yesterday. They keep saying migrants. You know they got a fucking memo from on high saying, say migrants, not illegals.

Part of the problem. By welcoming migrants who seek jobs or claim asylum. Your sister's box. I've seen enough, said a Sunday evening tweet from House Speaker Mike Johnson. And then they attributed that tweet to somebody else later in the article. So I don't know. It doesn't matter. Adding, this bill is even worse than we expected and won't come close to ending the border catastrophe the president has created. As the lead Democrat negotiator proclaimed, under this legislation, the border will be never closed.

And he was bragging, by the way. That was Chris Murphy, I think. Bragging that the border will never be closed. Do you believe that shit? I'm going to find out what the hell happened here. Dink. The phrase, the border never closes, is a much replayed quote from the top Democrat negotiator

and cocksucker Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut. One of the guys who can't wait, there he is, to destroy this country and make it the third world shithole so he can have a job bossing people around for the next fucking 20 years. In a series of Sunday evening tweets, Murphy gloated, they'll be bragging folks, that Democrats promised curb on illegal immigration, including a much touted border shutdown process. Those are trumped by many pro-migration rules. They had no, they have no fucking intention on shutting the border down. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. A quicker, border. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. A quicker, fairer asylum process. No more 10-year wait. This is what he lists in the bill. Claims processed in a non-detained, non-adversarial way in six months, even though they're called illegals and they're breaking the law. They're non-adversarial.

A slightly higher asylum screening standard. They even put slightly in there. They don't even try to hide that they're bullshitting us. A slightly higher screening standard. In other words, you're going to have an IQ of 78, not fucking 76. Also, no more waiting for work permits. How do you feel about that,

people of the low-income trying to put food on the table, you American citizens? Most asylum seekers can work immediately. Fuck you. A brand new right to legal representation for all immigrants. I thought they already had that.

Remember when Trump denied lawyers to victims of the Muslim ban? Remember that? And the first ever government paid for lawyers. That means we're paying for it, right? For young unaccompanied minors, which is all that is, a longstanding, injusted, righted, the fucking... A requirement the president to funnel asylum claims to the land ports of entry when more than 5,000 people cross a day.

In other words, we'll try to do a little something after 5,000 people come in a day, which doesn't sound like much because we're letting in about 80,000 a week. The border never closes, but claims must be processed at the ports. Oh, how stringent. This allows for a more orderly, humane asylum processing system. Fucking. You should be offended, folks. But important checks on that power.

It can only be used for a limited number of days per year. It sunsets in three years. You know, after we have 60 trillion people here. Emergency cases that show up in between the ports still need to be accepted. The ports must process a minimum of 1,400 claims

a day. What is that, a minimum? Democrats proudly proclaim new border law, and they're bragging this, never closes the border. Excuse me. And, of course, the entire $115 billion will be borrowed, said a tweet from Rand Paul. Nothing, he said, absolutely nothing conservative about this deal.

Conservative? Jesus Christ, it couldn't be more radical. Now, supposedly this is going to be dead on arrival. According to the new House Speaker and a few Republicans, you believe there's some Republicans that agreed to this shit? How much more do you need to know that they're in on this? Again, especially illegals. I used to understand both sides wanted illegals because it's cheap labor. But now there's technology taking everybody's jobs. So now you're importing a bunch of minorities with fifth grade educations and police records. A lot of them right out of jail.

Remember Trump said they're not sending their best? Understatement. They're doing just what fucking Castro did in the 80s. Sending empty inprisons to Miami. That's all it is, only on a way larger scale. To that, I say, y'all sister's box. So, again, keep voting Democrat, folks. Let's stay on how fucking retarded and what's happening.

Like people say now, every state is a border state. Now, this is coming to, you know, everywhere. Headlines, illegals on crime spree in New York City thanks to a retarded mayor. And that's what he is. At least Bill de Blasio is out now fucking Marxist and didn't say he was otherwise. This fucking jerk off was a high up, a former cop, commissioner or whatever, way high up in the NYPD. And he's retarded. And again, I don't believe anybody voted, but it's New York City. Three migrants were arrested by the NYPD after they allegedly were on a crime spree

that saw them stealing wallets and cell phones from at least 62 women across the city's seven boroughs. Girls, you still going to vote for Biden? Yes, they are. Actually, they're young girls, so they probably... Police say they arrested the migrants, illegals, all believed to from... Oh, they're all from Venezuela, in a safe house in the Bronx after executing a search warrant. This is old-style pickpocket, like, gypsy shit. They're running around on scooters and just, you know, chicks walking around with their face in their phones.

They don't have to hurt them, just grab them and go. Make it a little easy for them. The suspects were allegedly stealing the iPhones to use the Apple Pay feature, which I don't even know how to use. They're smarter than I am. And use the owner's credit. Why would you? I know people use that Apple. So you're for the one digital currency. That's what you're doing when you do that. You guys use that Apple feature. You're saying yes to fucking Apple and the 12 people that run the planet. They will have power over your bank accounts very soon. I try to use

cash everywhere I can just to irritate people. I really do. Here's 100. Break it. What the fuck is this? Look it up. Anyways, here's some video of the cops putting out essentially a hit. Pause. Sorry. Look at this. I said, Pete, women don't get hurt. This is a this is on video that, you know, they try to grab this woman's cell phone, whatever she had. She holds on and gets dragged in the street. Look at this. People to go do his dirty work to grab phones. All right. He's the big target. There's a lot of problems in New York City. And hopefully you'll grab him. We get some headway.

Convincing. Mayor Eric Adams went along for the sting operation and later appeared at a press conference with with police. That's pretty impressive impressive this isn't about the migrants listen listen to this quote from the shithead this isn't about the migrants and asylum seekers this is about those who break the law do you understand how fucking ignorant what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. Once again, he wants to rule out black and brown people. In other words, he's just saying, you know, American citizens do this too. Yeah, which they do.

And they're usually related to the people. It doesn't matter where you're from. Yeah. So what you're telling me, there's no connection between these guys coming over illegally and robbing that girl and hurting her. There's no connection between that and them not being here and her not getting robbed. Is that what you're telling us?

Just think about that for a second, you fucking nitwit. Monday's arrest comes after another video showed about a dozen migrants assaulting two police officers in Times Square which we just covered a Manhattan judge let at least five asylum seekers go free without bail after they were charged with assault only one of the suspects remains in jail

well of course try that if you're fucking white or even a black dude from another you know from here whatever do you need any more evidence, folks, how much they hate you? Because the next story is going to give you more. Anyways, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of this show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com, join to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, which I'll be on tomorrow morning and

Thursday. And while you're there, at nickdip.com, buy a ticket or whatever the fuck. I don't know what you do. The order's steak. May 11th, Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey. Folks, I haven't done stand-up in a while.

I'm sure I'll do it a couple times before this date. Doesn't matter to me, because I have so much on my chest and mind right now. I might just show up and rant for a fucking hour and be considered the most racist, hateful person alive. That's what I'm promising. That's not much different than my other shows. But the other shows, I used to put it in joke form. I'm not fucking joking no more. Boy, you woke up with a hair cross your head.

Yes, I did. I had a midget blow me in. What? Get out of here! Anyways, yeah, so May 11th, Comp Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down

Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else, no, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else, well I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else

Cause I'm not like everybody else I see you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else Hey, hey