The Nick DiPaolo Show - Biden's Ghost Gun Lies | Nick Di Paolo Show #690

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Bidens ghost guns. Ballot stuffing in GA. MSNBC calls MAGA racist. Dems too left for Sharpton. Jury duty sugar daddy. Ghost driver....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 šŸŽµ Oh yeah! How you is, folks? What it is, what it was, what it is! I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. Hey, it's April. How the hell did I forget? And I think for two years I've forgotten now. The guy that, what's the word I'm looking for, brings in April.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Come on. The April shower. I mean, girl. This guy is the first transition. I put some Jap... Japanese writing. I have no regrets Because it isn't rain, it's rain you know It's raining violets So if you seek life
Starting point is 00:01:36 Above the hills You soon will seek out Of Dapper Ditch Soon we'll see clouds of dappledeer And we'll keep on looking for that bluebird And it's meant for a song Whenever April showers come along Whenever April showers make on your way Hit it, boys. Boy. Make a way.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Are they bringing the flowers? Hey, what happened? All right. That's enough. Talus is like, all right, Nick. Up with that shit. Anyhow, anyway,
Starting point is 00:02:23 Wayne Newton, and I'll say it again first guy that uh he would have transitioned to abroad if he was born earlier still love him sure he got a ton of ass in vegas you know the money he was making it why am i talking about him let's get on to the president who's a fucking stooge. This guy looks like he's... Biden looks like he's going to cry. He's always like this. Just a fucking grouchy old man.
Starting point is 00:02:54 Ghost guns. Dallas, you know there's no such thing as a ghost gun. People have been building their own guns and shit for years. And you can't pass an executive, even I know this, you can't pass an executive order, fucking outlawed.
Starting point is 00:03:09 It's codified in the goddamn Second Amendment, for Christ's sake. People have been doing it for... Oh. I didn't even... We got a clip here. I didn't even include in this clip near the... There's another part. I didn't include, we got a clip here. I didn't even include in this clip near the, there's another part. I didn't include it because it made me so embarrassed.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I don't even want my fans to see. He walks over to this table. They have a ghost gun set up. And he's like, look, little screwdriver. People are putting these together. First of all, have you guys, once again, have you heard the term ghost gun? All of a sudden, you hear it every second now this week.
Starting point is 00:03:50 That's all they do. They brand, they lie, they brand. And the people shooting each other up in Chicago and Baltimore, they don't use ghost guns. They buy illegal guns. That's why background checks are stupid too. You think they're going into fucking Walmart or whatever, your local gun shop? All that
Starting point is 00:04:10 shit, you know who it hurts or they're trying to hurt? Actual NRA members, people who do it right. Fucking jerk-offs. I'd like to say something right now. He had the ghost gun in his hand. I should have played it. He put the gun in his hand. I should have played it. He put the gun in his fucking mouth.
Starting point is 00:04:27 But he couldn't. He can't hold it. You should have seen him walk. The table was a foot from the podium. Took him four minutes to get over there. Let's listen to Dinkweed. These guns are weapons of choice for many criminals. We're going to do everything we can to deprive them of that choice.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Don't cry, Joe. And when we find them, put them in jail for a long, long time. Law enforcement is sounding the alarm. Open your left eye. Our communities are paying the price. She is in it. Open it. Today, the United States Department of Justice is making it illegal for a business to manufacture one of these kits without a serial number. Illegal. Brilliant. Brilliant. You know who buys those kits, who works on their guns? Law-abiding people. Like I said, NRA members.
Starting point is 00:05:17 You know, mostly Republicans. Meanwhile, they're letting people back out on the street who are felons. Do you see what's happening? They're cracking down on you. the street who are felons. Do you see what's happening? They're cracking down on you. It's all coming, folks. They're trying to do it. Look at him scowling his fucking left eye. What a dinkweed.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Ugh. I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk-off. Hey, Joe, where you going with that ghost gun in your hand? I shot her. I shot her down. I get that solo down, by the way. It's the rest of the song. I'm having problems. Anyway, Joe, what are we doing? Shut it. What's going on right now?
Starting point is 00:06:05 You're shitting your pants right now. Go fucking lay down, you green, jello-eating maggot. Biden's plan, he proposed new federal rules. And again, these aren't even fucking... He's going to do it by executive order. Federal rules that would bring the purchasing process for these kits in line with regulations for purchasing traditional guns by expanding the definition of a firearm
Starting point is 00:06:32 to include unfinished parts. So you're going to need a license to get unfinished parts. And again, it only hurts people who follow the law. You think fucking Tyrone is building his own gun? follow the law. You think fucking Tyrone is building his own gun? Like there's a frame of a handgun or the receiver of
Starting point is 00:06:50 a long gun, according to the AP. And then not exactly conservative. What an ass. You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole.
Starting point is 00:07:07 That was Ron Klain talking to Joe when he came off the stage. That means sellers would need to run background checks and include serial numbers on the gun kits. The rules apply to parts made by any method, including 3D printers. to parts made by any method, including 3D printers. They are scheduled to go into effect 120 days after Biden's April 11th announcement. Good luck. Good luck, motherfucker. If you're looking for civil war, keep pushing it. The new rules would also require gun sellers to keep records for as long as they are in
Starting point is 00:07:41 business, meaning they'll no longer be able to throw them away after 20 years. Gun Owners of America, a nonprofit lobbying organization, said the rules essentially allow the ATF to end the online sale of gun parts. Just think about that for a second. The organization said it plans to challenge the rule change, which it argues violates the Second Amendment and other federal laws, just as we oppose the Trump administration's arbitrary ban on bump stocks. Remember the bump stocks thing after the Vegas shoot? GOA will also sue Biden's ATF to halt the implementation of this rule, Aiden Johnston, the group's director of federal affairs, said in a statement. Did he say it in a statement?
Starting point is 00:08:26 Glad you cleared that up. I thought he sang it to us, you dumb fuck. Counselor? Yeah, exactly. Counselor? Are you there? Could you be there? Oh, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:08:40 Throws the chain away. I'm going to watch that tonight at like midnight. If I'm not watching, Evil lives here, which is so goddamn fucking good. Again, it's got an agenda, though. Look it. You can tell. I told Dallas, I worked out.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I did cardio yesterday. Before I left this building, I was starving. If you do it, if you work out, you saw how much I was soaked. Your fucking metabolism goes through the goddamn roof. My wife wants me to make her dinner and I'm trying to fucking drop a few. I make her mac and cheese. I don't touch any of it. I don't eat any mac and cheese. Very hard, I make a killer mac and cheese. Anyways, but of course later on, what do I do? Fucking go wild. At 1 o'clock in the morning, I get up.
Starting point is 00:09:29 I got the munchies. After already eating, what did I have? I don't know. Ice cream? I can't even remember. I get up. We don't have nacho chips. I take fucking saltines.
Starting point is 00:09:45 About a half a sleeve on a plate. I cover them with chopped cheddar cheese and Monterey Jack cheese and pepperoncinis and put them in the microwave for 40 seconds. It was like eating an 18-year-old snatch. 18-year-old horse, not a woman. And I did that twice.
Starting point is 00:10:02 And then went to bed. Look. Look at this. Hey. And I can't work out today because, you know, my Achilles, my left Achilles, that'll blow out soon. Anyways, Beck, enough about me, you dink. See, now that makes me sad when I do that because my buddy Greg Zook fucking loved the rim shot shit. Makes me sad when I do that because my buddy Greg Zook fucking loved the rimshot shit. And that, when I play Mammy, he used to fucking text me right away, more Mammy. Let's get on to some local news, which is also national news.
Starting point is 00:10:41 Ballot stuffing in Georgia. Here's a statement by Donald J. Trump, the real president of the United States of America. This is him saying, is the unselect committee of January 6th going to see the movie that was just released by Citizens United called Rigged? Or the movie coming out shortly concerning True the Vote and produced by our buddy who we had on the show, Dinesh D'Souza, called 2,000 Mules. He does good work. You know those Indians are smart motherfuckers, right? But you don't have opening? No.
Starting point is 00:11:16 But why not? That's when he called me when I'm on the show. When you watch the movies or look at any of the other mountains of evidence on the rigged election, you would realize that there's standard, this is Trump still talking, and boring soundbite, the big lie is actually the big lie itself. We know that. You are correct, sir.
Starting point is 00:11:38 This is how they cheated. True the Vote has the receipts on video. True the Vote has the receipts on video. Katherine Engelbrecht and Greg Phillips were on the Charlie Kirk show, and they're going to point out the mules. They have video of the mule stuffing ballot boxes right in the middle of the day with people in line voting. Take a look. Is that your mule?
Starting point is 00:12:02 That's our mule. So this is a mule in front of everyone it should be 39 others everybody's sitting there watching like what so this is happening right now as she opens it up i can't figure out open up because they won't fit right no because she's a democrat at what point dumb cunt after the first year now it's a felony so this is a felon three felons at one drop box everybody you. You fat, nasty black bitch. There you go. She's a mule stuffing a ballot box.
Starting point is 00:12:30 Those people are waiting in line. They don't know what that box is. They think she's mailing something to fucking Nigeria. And we got another mule coming in here. You look like a jerk. It's not, you know, fucking, these are white, progressive, old lib douchebags. So you're not allowed to turn in more than one, unless it's for a close relative? That's correct. And he's trying to figure out
Starting point is 00:12:50 how to even get them into the box because he has so many he can't fit them in the little slot. So then he starts having to put them in one by one. Everybody's sitting there waiting on him. Now this is illegal. Highly illegal to do this. Everyone pass that first one? You're a crumb creep. Those are mules. Right. Highly illegal to do this. Everyone pass that first one.
Starting point is 00:13:06 You're a crumb creep. Those are mules. Right out in the daytime. I wouldn't have thought twice. Would you? That's the way to do it. Don't be secretive about it. If you do it right, people think, oh, it must be legit.
Starting point is 00:13:22 That's a baseless claim. That's what they'll say. So why doesn't somebody take that video and go on MSNBC or CBS or 60 Minutes and show it and say to fucking jerk off Pelly? What's that? How about the video where they had cardboard up in Detroit on the voting, on the windows, blocking the windows. That's a baseless claim. Or the video of the guy pulling the suitcase out. Or watching, you can follow how the votes went, six in the morning, 200,000 votes for, spiked for. Those are baseless claims? Fuck you and everything you believe in. They stole it and they're already preparing to do it for the midterms.
Starting point is 00:14:05 You know, COVID's making a comeback, right? You watch Shanghai, what they're doing. Was that one of my stories? Did I include it? Shanghai? Oh, we'll get to that in a few minutes. Huh? Oh, it was yesterday?
Starting point is 00:14:16 Couldn't remember if I... 25 million people in lockdown. People are killing themselves. Oh, yeah, we show the killing themselves. People are being pulled to internment camps and shit. And Biden's already making some rules about masks is coming back, already preparing. You want to see? That might kick off the Civil War, I would think.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Do you understand the masks have been proven, not by, I've said this before, but by John Hopkins virologists all over the world. They're useless, yet they're still making you wear them on a plane to get you into that obeying mode. It's all this. It's creepy. It infuriates me. That's why I just bought a unicycle, and that's how I'm going to go to my next gig. I'm going to have Dallas follow me in a car filming it. It'll be terrific. It'll go viral. But those are fucking mules,
Starting point is 00:15:11 right in broad daylight. And again, they'll go, that's baseless claim. You watch CNN, CBS, and they call us liars or Trump a liar. The clip we showed yesterday, Trump supporters who believe that, they're terrorists. Oh, that's today, by the way. That's the black dope on MSNBC. It's next, is it already? Boy, good thing I have a grip on the show. What's up, Nick?
Starting point is 00:15:41 Lady, lady. Next headline, dumb colored guy. Who's writing this shit? It's black. Dumb colored guy on MSNBC calls MAGA racist. MSNBC contributor. They are. At least they let you know that they're fucking Marxists, unlike CNN pretends to be right down the middle.
Starting point is 00:16:08 MSNBC contributed political, he's a professor. They won, the Marxists won. We get ignorant fucking jerk-offs teaching our kids. Jason Johnson said Monday on MSNBC's The Beat, look at him, The Beat. Look at him. The Beat. That's racist. He's saying he has rhythm. That the MAGA movement is a terrorist organization that no longer believes in democracy. I love how the left is now the leader in defining
Starting point is 00:16:37 democracy. I don't hear anybody on TV go, what do you know about democracy? You already admitted you buried the story about Hunter's laptop. Is that democracy? You block conservatives on Twitter. How is that democratic? You pass shit that people don't even vote on.
Starting point is 00:17:00 What the fuck? Joe Biden is flying people in. Another plane lands in Westchester last night with hundreds on it. Can you fucking, what do you know about democracy, you fuck? Like somebody said, you know how only way it's going to stop? I've been saying, but I didn't think of using the word anarchy, but we need anarchy from the right. Let's get it on. Look at this. Telling us fucking what democracy is. Yeah, exactly. Let's listen to the dummy.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I was saying this during Ferguson. You know, the country can't heal if we can't agree on what the diagnosis is of what got us sick. And at the end of the day, you have a certain segment of the population that has told the Republican Party, we do not believe in a multicultural democracy. So anything that you have... Nobody said that. Nobody has said that. You dumb fuck. That's why you're going to get slaughtered and black people are moving to the Republican Party. You're just an outright fucking liar. We don't believe in a diverse... Are you shitting me? You're the party of slavery. You were the party of Jim Crow. What are you fucking talking about? Calling, again, Trump supporters terrorists. Try doing that
Starting point is 00:18:21 with BLM, who by the way is a Marxist organization through their own admission. It's right in their mission statement. You fucking, who's he going to tie from Target on? Go ahead. To do, to make sure that this country stays in the hands of straight white men is okay. You see? Again, this, it's in the hands of straight white men. That's like me, even if it was. It's like, again, me going to Africa.
Starting point is 00:18:50 Why is everything owned and run by black guys? You dumb fuck. Get out. Get the fuck out of my country, honestly. It ain't never going to change. Because you know what? A lot of people like it the way it is. Italians, Irish, Polish, Germans,
Starting point is 00:19:08 Mexicans even, Hispanic people, black people. They like the country, but you have this paranoid horseshit. We're never going to fix it until we agree what made it sick. Yeah, I know what made it sick. A bunch of dumb white fucks bought a bunch of black people from dumb, a bunch of black people from dumb black fucks who were selling them and brought them over here. That's what the sickness is.
Starting point is 00:19:34 You're trying to cure something that happened 500 years ago. And you're taking it out on white people who live with you today, who had nothing to fucking do with it. Until you acknowledge that this is the most... Why am I going nuts? The coffee's really kicking it. That's why people come out to see me. Why don't you acknowledge this is the least racist country in the history of the world? What other country opens its doors to every fucking person on the planet? How fucking dare you? if you were in another country shithead you'd be fucking stocking shelves at fucking walmart ugh you make me want to puke will you shut up shut up shut up shut up
Starting point is 00:20:18 these blacks who knows where they're gonna take the wrong way Did you notice this light just went off? It's alright. Still looks alright. Fucking cheeks look like a fucking squirrel holding nuts. But that's, yeah, that was well done, Mr. Johnson. Blaming it all on fucking old white guys.
Starting point is 00:20:45 Old white guys, Mr. Johnson, created the greatest form of government this planet has ever seen. It's lifted more people out of poverty than anything. Why don't you take a look at communism style? Where else would you rather live, you stinkbag? So tired of it. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. That was my worst nightmare.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Liz Warren eating AOC. You're talking about a bucket of mackerel that's been sitting out in the sun. Oh, Nick, you're horrible. In our Libs eating Libs segment tonight, the headline, two left for Sharpton even. I couldn't come up with any. I just have to. I can't sit there five minutes and think of something. I get three. I have the fucking Red Sox.
Starting point is 00:21:43 They lose to fucking Detroit last night. But that's all right. People forget. The season is so good. Honestly, you could drop the first 20 and still win you the bid. That's the baseball. Look at Atlanta last year. I don't want to.
Starting point is 00:21:58 But you have to because they embody exactly what you said. I don't want to. Fuck Atlanta. Anyways. They embody exactly what you said. I don't want to. Fuck Atlanta. Anyways, no, actually, Braves are one of the teams I like in the National League, actually. Freddie Freeman's gone? Yep, I know. Did you see the Do-Re-Mi? The Dodgers are buying themselves another.
Starting point is 00:22:21 And by the way, the fucking World Series, the last one they won during the two-month season. Don't count. Suck my dick magic. Anyways, Sharpton, as gun violence in D.C., Chicago, Baltimore, New York, L.A., and other cities, what do they all have in common? There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! Don't say that. There's two white people in there. Anyways, in all those cities, other cities continue to surge. The crime does.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Analysts agree that Democrats are likely to feel the fallout when the 2022 midterm election rolls the fuck around. That was my Rambo. Watch my face. Come on, get in the helicopter. Come on. You don't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:23:26 You asked me, I didn't ask you. Coming over to the airport, people spitting this, got a baby killer, you know, that vile crap. I couldn't find his legs. That was a pretty good monologue he did. Anyhow, Mark Bavaro hated it, the tight end for the Giants, because his uncle was at NAMM, and he thought it was just a caricature of, I can see why some people might think that, but it was fucking entertaining as hell.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Anything, let's roll on. Check out my pits. That's coffee, folks. I'm going to put a cup under here in about 10 minutes. It'll be hotter than what I just drank. Anyhow, the Democratic politicians at the helm of many of these cities, coupled with the left wing of the Democrat Party that wants to defund the police, are in some serious trouble come 2022. Conservative commenter Bernard Goldberg wrote in The Hill,
Starting point is 00:24:24 and he's right on the money. Just the facts, man. You really are, Bernie. You're right on. Remember, where's he gone? He was always on with O'Reilly, like once a week. I wonder what he said wrong. I forget.
Starting point is 00:24:37 There was something. Anyways, and he's not exactly, by the way, he's not exactly conservative. The guy was on HBO Sports, a real bastion of, you know. Didn't I hate that show with Brian Gumbel? Ooh, let's do an investigation and see if we can find any racism at the hockey puck factory. Get the fuck out of here, you suckbag. Long-time civil rights activist at MSNBC host Al Sharpton, my buddy. I always bring it up, but I had breakfast with him, did a thing for Comedy Central that you guys would have shit your pants laughing.
Starting point is 00:25:11 No, didn't see the light of day. Indicated on Monday that he partially agrees with the conservatives about the Dems being in trouble. Listen to what we're about to have to say. They're losing people of color because they really don't get the people of color's life if you are living in a city in a neighborhood that is inundated with crime and you act like that is not an issue you've already lost me that is an issue yes we must deal with policing i've been out front of that but you cannot ignore when 12 year old kids who somebody's niece and neighbors killed and you act like that's a non-issue because you're too elitist to live on
Starting point is 00:25:54 the ground what a terrible mental Riley what a stable somebody needs nephew get killed eating kool-Aid and drinking gin out here. Huh? He's right. Did I just say Al Sharpton was right? What's the matter? What's the world coming to? I think that was his point. When he says that, though, even that's, you know who he's talking about, white.
Starting point is 00:26:25 When you hear elitist, you don't think. And he's right. White, elitist, progressives, whoever the fuck lives. You know, the Governor Newsom, those assholes. And he's right. You can't. I mean, the Dems are so dumb. Just like the Republicans are dumb that, you know, they should have wrapped up the Mexican vote years ago
Starting point is 00:26:46 because they're conservative, they work hard, and, you know, they have the same values. But he's right. Black people are the ones who don't. They want the cops around. They live in some tough neighborhoods. It's so, oh, my God. I don't get the strategy of the debt.
Starting point is 00:27:06 This is going to be a massacre like no other in November. And you're thinking that's a ways away. It's a blink of an eye. You'll be blinking your eyes. You'll be watching the NFL again. It's, we're in what, April? So it's seven months away, which is nothing. Trust me.
Starting point is 00:27:22 I'll be dead in eight minutes. It's going to be a bloodbath. If it isn't, if they, I can't wait to see if they try to steal it. I almost hope they do, and you watch the shit finally. I would hope. Hope everybody's not as lazy as me.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Anyways, let's move on. Shall we, kids? Sure. No, no, no, no! Oh, my favorite. In our FLA segment tonight, it seems like people will say just about anything to get out of jury duty,
Starting point is 00:27:55 and sometimes that anything is particularly surprising. In FLA, of course, that's Florida, folks, a woman told the judge she was unable to serve on a jury because she had to take a monster dump. What? Cut. No. She said she couldn't serve on a jury due to needing to see her sugar daddy. And the internet had a blast with that type. Can you imagine? That's not her, by the way. It sounds like a Jamaican. It's a stupid, by the way. It sounds like a Jamaican. It's a stupid, it's a stupid, it's a stupid.
Starting point is 00:28:29 I like Bobby Slayton had a great line about jury duty. Fucking, you're being judged by people who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty in the first place. How stupid. The jury selection was for the sentencing of the Parkland school shooter. Jesus Christ, that's just coming around now, the sentencing? Boy, huh? Doesn't justice, the wheels move quickly. The Parkland school shooter who had pleaded guilty to 17 counts of murder.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Ugh. This kid's, he ain't going to make it. He won't do all the time. After his mass shooting rampage in 2018, He ain't going to make it. He won't do all the time. After his mass shooting rampage in 2018, the jury will determine the punishment for Mr. Cruz.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Dead man walking. I knew you were going to love that one. Dallas hadn't heard that one yet. What you just said. What? I didn't say anything. Dead man walking. That's what my wife says as I'm heading to bed to have sex with her.
Starting point is 00:29:38 During the selection process, Judge Elizabeth Scherer, seen here, who we would date, I'm guessing she's had some face work. Jesus Christ. It's a little tight, the skin, though. You know, she's not 20, Dallas. You know she's got to be in her 40s. Look how tight her skin is. I mean, if she farts, her forehead's going to split. Cute, though.
Starting point is 00:29:56 Why doesn't she have a show? Asked if she had missed anyone with questions or concerns about their ability to perform on the jury. One woman identified as Miss, I had a bit about me being on a jury. What did I do with that? It's not one of my albums. As Mrs. Bristol spoke up saying she had some conflict. So here's the judge asking Mrs. Bristol, who sounds Jamaican or some type of Islander. I hope you don't need a translator here, but here we go. I have my sugar daddy that I see every day. I'm sorry?
Starting point is 00:30:30 My sugar daddy. Okay, I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, but... Well, I'm married and I have my sugar daddy. Okay. I see him every day. All right, ma'am, we'll come back to you, okay? Thank you. What you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Oh, God bless her. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. You're all dismissed. May God have mercy on your soul. I think she's playing crazy. She was actually crazy like a fox. You don't want to do that. I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:31:06 I got to go back and listen to my bit. I fucking raised my hand. What did I say? I was on a... Ah, fuck. Something about the OJ trial. Everybody almost shit their pants. And then they said... They looked my
Starting point is 00:31:22 background up and I was a... They saw I was an entertainer and had a radio show at the time. They said, no, you can walk. But I was down to like the fucking, you know, it starts with a big group and it whittles down. I was down to like the last group. I think I shit my pants to let him know he's crazy. I'm like, anyways, only in Florida.
Starting point is 00:31:41 What's your name, Judge Shear? Could you dox her for me? I want to take her to Joe's Crab Shack. I like all kinds of girls. You know that. I've slept with two black women in my life and they both wanted me to talk dirty to them. You know,
Starting point is 00:32:02 I'm behind one of them and I go, who's your daddy? And she goes, I have no idea. I can't be the first one to have thought of that. That seems to me somebody, but maybe not. That's a good one, ain't it? Thought of that last night. I have no idea. Both of them said that.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Cut to us. What's that? Sounds like a new show edition. Oh, yeah. So cut to me with a swab and a rassle. I'm going to do a 23 of me. Actually, I call it 11 of me. It's my own kit.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Who's your daddy? I have no idea. Let's take a look at this tree. If I'm not the first to have said that, I mean, if I am the first, you know how it is. Fans say it, then they put it on Twitter. They take credit. But we have it marked here. We have it. We have it here. You signed an affidavit.
Starting point is 00:33:02 I'm going to get to the bottom of this. Anyways, let's move on to the faggy city, the hellhole, the just outright disaster, the prototype for liberalism, the shittiest city, which was once the most beautiful, San Francisco. They have things called ghost drivers. The San Francisco Police Department and Cruise, that's a company driverless vehicles, I didn't even know these things existed. I know they were testing them years ago,
Starting point is 00:33:35 had an interesting run-in over the weekend. The incident, which was caught on video by bystanders, has people full of questions and the Cruise social media team working in overdrive. Footage shows the officer pulled up behind the white and red Chevy Bolt, a vehicle which had been converted into a cruise car. Cruise vehicles are driverless.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Robo taxis. They're available from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. That's creepy. 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. That's creepy. 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. around San Francisco. I don't, huh? What if the thing starts taking you out of the way? And the doors are locked. I'm going to be raped by a ghost.
Starting point is 00:34:23 Let's take a look at... Hold on. This one in the video we're going to show is driving without lights on. Again, no driver. Not only dangerous and illegal, but indicative of a technical issue with the car's computer. The clip shows the officer approach and examine the car, try to open the door, and then start walking back to his car.
Starting point is 00:34:46 Take a look at this ain't nobody in it Are you serious? Why does that happen? Oh my god, I have to watch this. Ain't nobody... Oh god. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. Show me your hands.
Starting point is 00:35:28 I don't have any hands. I am a computer. Quack, quack, quack, quack. I don't know. That's weird. How long? And let me tell you, this hasn't already happened. How many times has a homeless guy got one just to shit in the back?
Starting point is 00:35:45 Go fuck a crack horse. You just give him a fake address. I just thought of a great thing for prom night. Too bad I'm 60. You're going to tell me you're a homeless guy? You're going to take a dump? You're not going to weigh one of those down? Deliver it right to Pelosi's house?
Starting point is 00:36:03 Big steam and pile of fucking Funyuns and Ripple. Finally tonight on Nick's show. There are white niggers. I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. In RTR, reverse the race segment tonight, Adam Schechter has apologized for how he insensitively broke the news of Dwayne Haskins. That was tragic. This guy was a hell of a player at Ohio State, you know?
Starting point is 00:36:35 Anyways, why was he on a highway? Why was he walking on a highway, they said, or whatever? Hit by a dump truck, I think. Anyways, the news of Dway. Hit by a dump truck, I think. Anyways, the news of Dwayne Haskins' death, Schefter had attributed out and paid tribute to the late quarterback. I guess he wasn't sensitive
Starting point is 00:36:54 enough for this country because when you're talking about black people, you've got to be way more. So here's his tweet. Dwayne Haskins, a standout at Ohio State before struggling to catch on with Washington and Pittsburgh in the NFL, died this morning when he got hit by a car in South Florida, per his agent, Cedric Saunders.
Starting point is 00:37:14 Haskins would have turned 25 years old on May 3rd, read Schefter's original since-deleted tweet. Now, did anything jump out at you there that was horrible? I'm guessing what they're complaining about, he didn't catch on with the Redskins, and that's what they're complaining about? To me, he was trying to, he didn't say he couldn't run to his right and he threw 11 picks.
Starting point is 00:37:40 He told you a fact just to make it a little more informative if you didn't know who he was. And again, if this is a white athlete, is he going to be, you know, Disney fucking got on the phone and said, Disney owns ESPN. You better fucking delete that tweet, whatever. You've got to be kidding me. If that was a white guy, he wouldn't have been on the highway
Starting point is 00:38:01 training them on a walk-in. But, you know, you really think they would have went, oh, that was insensitive. He didn't catch on with a couple teens. I'm guessing that's what they're complaining about, right? Here's Schefter of course doing the obligatory apology
Starting point is 00:38:18 because his jerk-off boss is, we have the audio, here you go. First I wanted to address the death of Dwayne Haskins and the tweet that I posted this weekend. It was insensitive. It was a mistake. And I can assure you is not my intention. I wish I could have that tweet back. The focus should have been on Dwayne, who he was as a person, a husband, a friend, and so much more. I wanted to apologize to Dwayne's family, his friends, the players in the National Football League, and offer my condolences to everybody
Starting point is 00:38:55 close to Dwayne. And you blew it! You blew it! Jesus, Mr. Adam Schefter Really? I guess you gotta keep your job There's no way There had to be somebody who's boss Seriously guys Was that really that insensitive And again I'll say it again
Starting point is 00:39:17 If it was a fucking white guy It would have never happened And then they asked Haskins uncle how he felt about Schefter, and he said, Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you! God, I love my show. Anybody else with me on that out there? Did that really wrinkle anybody's...
Starting point is 00:39:40 I guarantee it might not even have got a complaint. It was a pure Disney thing. You know, the ones that are trying to teach your four-year-old girls about cock. Schefter continued to praise Haskins' work ethic within the Steelers organization and commitment to community service, community work. He said, although he doesn't know how to cross the street. That was insensitive. Dwayne Haskins was beloved by his teammates and the NFL community
Starting point is 00:40:05 as the outpouring of support from over the weekend showed. Schefter said he was beloved because of his smile, his attitude, his work ethic, his growth, and the man he had turned himself into. His was a life taken too young. Absolutely. And what you said wasn't that bad. I'm not trying to just start a
Starting point is 00:40:26 fucking fight with a Riznan. Jesus, you're going to walk on fucking eggshells. I mean, come on. That's it, folks. I've had enough. Look at this. You don't believe me? What the hell? By the way, people who sweat like that, you know
Starting point is 00:40:42 what that means? Your cooling system's working. I'm serious. I remember the one thing I learned in my four years of college, I remember taking a health class, and a person who's in shape sweats quicker if they were both jumping around than somebody who's out of shape. You're just exceptionally good at it. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:01 Exactly. According to that, I'm fucking Jack LaLanne when he's 21, looks like I got shot under both armpits, all right, kids, that's enough, don't forget to sign up monthly, please, I'm freaking begging you, okay, I'm putting in a new bathroom now, you see what my wife's doing to me, fucking kitchen, I'm sick of peeing into a Sprite bottle and dumping into an old frying pan. I'll tell you, it's the South, but na-na-na-na. Anyways, thecomicsgym.com. Please sign up at thecomicsgym.com.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Please sign up at patreon.com. Again, monthly. Nickdip.com, and you can click on the tour button, see where I'll be next, buy merchandise. You know where it is. And cameo.com. If you'd like me to send a quick video to somebody to say happy birthday or whatever, happy anniversary, or bust balls,
Starting point is 00:41:54 which most of my fans love to bust the balls of another fan, a friend of theirs, or whatever, go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile. It'll tell you how to do it. You guys think it. I'll say it. Click on my profile. It'll tell you how to do it. You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. We will see you back here tomorrow at the same time.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Have a nice day, everybody. I'm free I'm free I'm free I'm free guitar soloć‚µćƒ–ć‚æć‚¤ćƒˆćƒ« 悭惟惎惟惤

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