The Nick DiPaolo Show - "Big Guy" in Big Trouble | Nick Di Paolo Show #1248

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Big Trouble for Big Guy. Whoopi retracts. Horse girl...or they. Even more monkey business from WHO. Prison guard allows rape. A-holes can breath?

🎵 Hey, it's Nick! Hi everybody, welcome to the show. Today I've got some great egg salad recipes. And we'll talk about stilettos. My favorite weapon of a choice. Excuse me. How you is? I have Nick the pig as a friend. Yeah. Yeah.

Real quickly, Red Sox, it's official. They're behind the Orioles in the standings. I'll say it again. They're like a half game behind. Two weeks ago, we were like first for the wild card, two and a half weeks ago. Bobby Dalbeck, who couldn't hit a bull's ass with a base fiddle, hit two run homers last night and had another RBI, and we still lose. There's a guy named Franchi Cadero.

I hate his name because it's definitely a spelling mistake by his mother. I don't give a fuck what anybody says. And the guy struck out a couple weekends ago, 15 out of 16 plate appearances against the Yankees. Last night he made three errors in one game. How is he in the major leagues? He has pictures, I'm telling you, of Cora giving a go-to-hand job in Vermont or something.

I don't know. But again, the Orioles are a half game ahead of the Stadians. Again, we're playing with almost like a triple-A lineup. I don't give a shit. Neither does Cora. All right, got that off my chest. This show is entirely funded by you viewers. I want to thank you for that and encourage you to go to nickdip.com

and click on the red text at the top of the page to make your contribution. Please. You'll get your name read here on the show, but more importantly, you'll be supporting free speech and a forum from people like you and I to tell it like it is. That's nickdip.com and thank you as always. Kit! Anyhow,

let's get right to it since it's the last day of the week. Big trouble for Big Guy. Gee, if we only knew who Big Guy was. This is the biggest scandal, do you understand, between Russiagate, this hiding Hunter's laptop story

right before an election, squashing it, the media, the internet, the high tech. Do you understand that makes Watergate look like a fart in the tub? Honestly. And nobody, nobody cares. It is very bizarre. Want to hunt to Biden's former business partners, Mike Lindell, the pillow guy, no, referred to Joe Biden as the big guy in a panicked message the same day that the New York Post broke the news of the infamous laptop from hell left behind by the president's son. So even when you're pulling off international scams, your friends can't keep their techs or their mouths shut. I have a big mouth. There you go. James Aguilera, a former British special forces officer, boy, they got a lot of scumbags in the British, with ties to UK intelligence services, discussed the Post's exclusive report

with an unnamed person on October 14th of 2020, according to the, that's right before the election, ain't it? According to the message provided by, get this, a whistleblower to GOP congressional investigators probing the laptop. In the message,

Gilear58 reassured the person that the revelations about Biden's apparent involvement in his son's foreign deals would not be damaging, regardless of the outcome of the 2020 election, presidential election. So that was his take on it. You're full of chimp, man. We're coming after you, okay? Here is Miranda Devine. She writes for the New York Post. I like this lady. She's the one who broke this story, you know, went national and stuff. Here she is, the limey lady. I mean, the lovely lady. Thanks, Maria. Well, this is really a breakthrough and it does look like a concerted scheme to keep the derogatory Hunter Biden information, which was derogatory to Joe Biden, one of the candidates for president

back then, out of public view to stop the senators, Chuck Grassley and Ron Johnson, who were becoming very, very close to some of this information, to stop them from inquiring, to cover up for the Bidens and to obstruct any journalist reporting or Chuck Grassley and Ron Johnson doing their. Yeah, first of all, it's pronounced derogatory. Speak English. Gellar was asked if Hunter and or Joe's campaign would try to make it. Oh, we never were involved and try to basically make us collateral damage. The guy said, I don't see how that would work for them. Gellar responded in the 6.07 p.m. message reviewed by The Post. make us collateral damage, the guy said. I don't see how that would work for them,

Gellar responded in the 6.07 p.m. message reviewed by the Post. I think in the scenario that he wins, they would just leave sleeping dogs lie, Gilead added once again. If they lose, honestly, I don't think that the big guy really cares about that, because he'll be dead in 10 minutes. He's old. No, because he'll be too busy focusing on strained peaches and bingo at the home. Anyway, he'll be focused on all the other shit he is doing. Like what?

Falling off his bike. The identity of the big guy has since formed part of the grand jury investigation in Wilmington, Delaware into Hunter Hunter's business dealings as calls ramped up to have President Biden, who has repeatedly denied, you know why all this is coming out now or they're making you understand that the left, the Dems want him out of there now. They don't want him around for 2024. I don't even think he's going to make it to that. They're going to come up with something. Somebody's going to accidentally push him down the stairs when the Air Force has repeatedly denied any involvement

in his son's dealings. Fucking liar. Remember we played an audio of a voice message he left on Hunter's thing saying, I read the thing in the paper, but I think you're in the clear. So why isn't he being impeached or kicked the fuck out?

Oh, that's right, he's a Democrat. Gillard has referenced the big guy as he acted as the driving force behind Hunter and his uncle, Jim Biden, planned multimillion dollar deal with a Chinese energy conglomerate, C-E-F-C. Biden's son, Hunter Biden.

In an email to Hunter, Jim, and other partners on May 13, 2017, Gellar outlined an equity breakdown in which 10% of the lucrative CEFC joint venture would be held by Hunter. For who? The big guy. Who the hell else? You're not going to be a real detective to break that code. That email, which was previously revealed by the Post,

was found on the laptop Hunter abandoned at a Delaware repair shop in April 2019. Remember, folks? Do you remember all that? And then you have 50 CIA guys or intelligence guys from maybe FBI, all of them, Department of Justice sign a letter saying it was Russian disinformation. They were protecting fucking

protecting so Biden would win this thing. Whoever the next president has to clean house, I know they're not all bad people, but 50 of them, big names, Clapper, they all signed this letter saying it was Russian disinformation. It's still working.

You know, do whatever they want. Basically, I've had enough, okay? That's what I'm telling you. Anyways, what will happen? Will anything happen? That's the question. Let's move on to one of the hottest, smartest women.

I think she should be a fucking Fox anchor woman. Whoopi Goldberg. Can you imagine Ted Danson used to bang this on a regular basis? I get more respect for people that are on sex offenders. I'd hang out with a pedo before. That's fucking gross. You bang that beanbag chair with dreads. Whoopi severely retarded is the headline.

And ugly too. The View has issued an apology to Turning Point USA after the show called the organization out for not doing anything. This was the stoop. This shows how ignorant these broads are about neo-Nazi protests outside of last weekend's summit in Tampa, Florida. Ugh, look at her. You shit-kicking, stinky horseman who's smelling motherfucker, you. In a cease and desist letter Tuesday, the organization said the host's comments, In a cease and desist letter Tuesday, the organization said the host's comments, false derogatory and defamatory statements,

were unquestionably harmful to Turning Point USA's reputation, causing them to lose credibility with the public, potential donors, and current and future business partners, which makes sense. They're on a national show, but still people watch the show. I'd love to know what the real ratings are. It's got to be right above the WNBA. Yet they keep it on because it's good propaganda and housewives, idiots at home, just nod their heads. Again, the ones that vote, you know, the New Yorkers. TPUSA claimed it didn't have the right to remove the protesters from public property,

which is correct. You still have a right, at least when you're from the left, to protest freely. So anyways, TPUSA is demanding a public retraction and apology by Wednesday. In response, the dirty five yeast infections apologized for any confusion on Wednesday segment, setting the record straight that the organizers were not in any way endorsed by Turning Point USA. Let's listen to one of the dumbest people on the planet. Oh, okay, so you have to read this thing. Oh, I've got a legal note.

The conservative group... Oh, well, Sonny normally does this, but you... I know, I know. That's the conservative... He's our knockoff lawyer. The conservative group Turning Point USA has condemned normally does this, but you... I know, I know. That's the conservative... He's our knockoff lawyer. The conservative group Turning Point USA has condemned the group of neo-Nazis and said they have nothing to do with the organization. But where was DeSantis?

That's why I want to know. But you let them in. President, open your mouth. You let them in and you knew what they were. Right. So you are complicit. We'll be right back. You fat, nasty, black bitch.

Ugh. Then Whoopi here, this piece of ass, had to, you know, sort of do her mea culpa. Oh, God. I'm sure she's nice. I'm sure she's nice. You know what I mean? I always say that.

I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt okay come with Dallas fuck her Dallas is like you get me this is Dallas you fat cat well here's whoopee retracting what she said about the neo-nazis at the turning point event they were outside protesters my point was more metaphorical that you embrace them extra thing i felt so i just they were not in the building no but you know what you know what if the so-called antifa who are anti-fascist that's what antifa stands for would go there and protest then antifa would get a bad reputation. That's why, when I hear that Antifa... All right, shut her off. Antifa would get a bad reputation, as opposed to that Sterling reputation.

Wow, could you be any more fucking retarded? I used to know her. I used to thought she was semi. Holy shit, that's what happened? you stay in New York your whole life mama mama's home anyways I just whoopee oh the poor thing as Sam Kenison said about whoopee a country strives

not to hurt a woman's feelings when she got an Oscar or something anyways can you imagine going down on that Dallas there's two guys that did check these two guys out this is what it would be like. All right. Oh, my God. Help us, Eloise.

Ted Danson. Hey, guys, the following stand-up shows are on sale now, so grab your tickets and make plans to join me. Friday, September 9th, Soul Joe's Comedy Club, Royalsford, Pennsylvania. Saturday, September 10th, Algonquin Arts Theater in Manasquan, New Jersey. Sunday, September 11th, Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center, Chester, New York. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida. Sunday,

November 13th, Sidesplitters Comedy Club at Tampa. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. As we continue today... Horse's ass trans girl. I have... I just saw this. Look. The trans thing, I think, makes all us semi-normative people get a little cuckoo whatever but some of them are goddamn funny matter of fact Tommy my manager has a trans

girl in in his uh clientele list she opened for me, and I'm like, she's kind of cute. Then I saw her after the show, and I'm like, holy shit, look at the cock on that thing. And she's, you know, she's actually a pretty good comic. But this, I mean, this trans person, I don't want to be disrespectful to this pillow-munching, fucking whatever,

confused young... I don't know why. They almost got it right. You know, the nose, the mouth, yeah, but then you look at the jawline. It's the Marlboro man with a wig. Got a jawline like one of the Kennedys. Ah, yeah. Ah, yeah. I have a dick

and a pussy. Ah, yeah. This girl slash guy, again, a boy who became a girl. I don't know why. Maybe I was giddy last night. I, yeah, yeah. This girl slash guy, I got a boy who became a girl. I don't know why, maybe I was giddy last night. I was punchy. She had me laughing. Somebody puts,

this proves they're all mentally ill. You know, whatever. But, go ahead. Ultra rad about transitioning is that you get to have like a second puberty. And I know that doesn't sound entirely appealing to most people, but it's kind of interesting that at 34 years old, I get to have

another puberty with the advantages of like wisdom and experience and age and no parents to tell me what to do, which essentially means that I get to choose freely whatever awkward pubescent phase I want to go through. I can be a horse girl if I want to. Just the girl that's so obsessed with horses. I just love horses and ponies and Mustangs. I love them. Retainer. Put in ill-fitting retainer.

Got a notebook full of like vaguely sexual drawings of horses. Like jacked horses with delts and six-packs and stuff. I have those. When I show people the pictures in my notebook, I can be like, this is Carmine, and he's a prince. And he had a spell cast on him by an evil witch, so he's a horse now. And he's waiting on true love's first kiss to break the spell, you see. And I could show you all the other horses that I filled this book with,

but that would make me late for clarinet lessons, so I gotta go. Your son looks like a fag to me. Ah, the homosexuals. Okay, that's a funny thing. It, they. That was a good little bit at the end there. I want her to open for me. Her leg so I can see what she got.

Good night! Hey-oh! La-la-la-la-la. Ba-ba-da-ba-ba. And I love it. It's yummy. It's in Carmine's, you prince. All of a sudden she's doing rich for us, my friend.

Oh, yeah. That's some wild stuff, Ed. Some wild, wild stuff. Again, most of it's good. Then you like Jay Leno. Like my giant chin. Oh, my God. What the, did she ever say her name?

First of all, I got all excited. I'm like a horse girl. I'm assuming right away sexual filthiness. You know, so I went to video, I actually Googled women having sex with horses. You get nothing. I don't know how to use the internet apparently. I gotta believe there's tons of stuff. I just can't find it.

Anyway, so I look up horse girl and it says, a girl who wears T-shirts with horses on them and tapered denim pants, has really long hair, in which the braid and fasten with a scrunchie in the back of their head, will gallop on the tractor in gym class. Urban dictionary definition. If someone's life revolves around horses, they are a horse girl or they like black cock. How did I not have the Mr. Ed button ready? It's in Carlyle, it becomes a princess. I can do anything. I can have a retainer. That person seems happy in its new whatever, but again, give it a couple years. Give it a couple years. You know, when you're lonely as a guy, you can go out and rape somebody. You can't...

No, I'm totally joking, folks. But I found that person kind of funny. Anybody else? I feel like we're going too fast for this show. I have no idea what to... I think 140. I don't know. What do we got here, folks? What have we got?

Oh, by the way, I made... I got to do this. I know I keep saying we're going to do the cooking segments. Dallas, the fucking eggplant balls. Dude, I was eating them like M&M's last night. Couldn't. Guys, where do you get this one? A perfect meatball is kind of crunchy on the outside.

You want a little crust on the outside and really tender inside. Well, when you make it with egg, if you like eggplant, which I love the taste of eggplant when it's cooked right, and I drop them in a deep, you know, oil, submerged completely just for about three minutes. You take them out. Let them cool down. I didn't do that.

Stuck to the roof of my mouth. Fucking smoke was coming out of my, I get scars up here like you wouldn't believe. You bite them and they're cream. It's like... I can't describe it. It's like an 18-year-old Boy Scout's ass. What? Who?

Oh, yes. Anyways, I was juggling. Gang, gang, gang. It made 18. I got up this morning. There was six left. Then I had a couple of pup tarts, but I look all right. Anyways, let's get on with the show,

shall we? We do, Dallas. I think we gotta do something. Everybody's been telling me that, though, since Tough Crowd. Colin, I've been cooking for a long time. Quinn's like, you gotta do it. And I said, shut it. Anyways, let's get right to the next headline. More monkey business from the

World Health Organization. I don't even get why. We know that they're a front for China. And Boutros, Boutros, golly, whoever runs the fucking thing, sucks J.Ping's dick. The Biden administration might declare monkey parks a public health emergency in the coming days. I'm guessing he picks like november 2nd

no actually a couple weeks before that yeah october the october surprise monkey parks which i think nine gay guys have i told you a long time ago you fucking little monkey not to fuck me hey i tell you get that monkey duck out of my ass sources familiar with the matter told political the declaration could happen as soon as later this week oh my aching ass such a declaration will be made but guys i'm not kidding you this is honest to god there's about 300 gay guys who have it total on the planet, and they're going to call it a national. You have to be dicking me. You guys suck at trying to scam the public. Declaration, I know, would be made by Biden's Department of Health and Human Services,

led by this jerk off Secretary Xavier Becerra, another West Coast moron, declaring an emergency would give HHS access to additional funds. Really, additional funds. The cops are fighting for their money, but let's throw something towards the thing that hardly exists. Additional funds and increase its staff to address the matter. But don't worry about the cops who can't even come when you dial 911 because they're stretched out financially. But Sarah is expected to hold a press conference at the San Diego Zoo in one of the cages with a couple of fruit cups.

Conference on the monkey parks this morning. The report, yeah, so I guess he's going to talk this morning. The report comes days after the World Health Organization declared the international monkey pox virus outbreak a global health emergency. Who gives a fuck what you think? Exactly. They didn't get one thing right with COVID.

I mean, everything right the way they wanted it to go. I'm telling you. There's like two Haitian choreographers, a couple of male figure skaters, a couple of male cheerleaders have rashes on their ass. It's a pandemic. Officials in the United States have been raising the alarm on monkey pox yet nobody's listening that is delicious what the you run out of water just get a pen have been raising the alarm on health departments in san francisco why why san francisco let me think about oh yeah

san francisco and other major cities say they still don't have enough shots of the vaccine to meet demand. Well, let me give you a little tip. Stop fucking each other in the ass. California lawmaker Scott Weiner. Oh, I can't make it up. Holy Jesus. You know, this guy's a heavyweight boxer. No.

San Francisco Democrat issued a statement urging Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom to declare a state of emergency. Again, how dare you? Unfortunately, because of our federal government failed to act quickly to acquire the vaccine supplies needed to prevent an outbreak. You see how he depends on the federal government like all the lefty Jews? We are now in a public health emergency. No, we're not. Even if you're talking about California. No, you're not. Maybe your city is because there's a heavy concentration of fruit cups.

A public health emergency that is only going to escalate. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. And tell me now like you did during AIDS that it doesn't discriminate. It's going to kill, which is a bunch of shit.

We've been through this. You probably were born during the AIDS. It was a good time. Given that gay and bi men and trans people are the most impacted, oh, I can't take no more.

Please give me a cup. It's sadly becoming clear that we are being left behind once again. Oh, poor, you. Let me explain something to you, dickhead with a suit, Woody Allen wannabe. It's awful.

My friend has AIDS. It's awful. Being left behind, all we do is talk about you and your problems and your community's problems around the clock, 24-7, 365 days a year. You have not been left behind.

It's just the fucking opposite. You're overrepresented in the media. Should have listened to the bigots when I had a chance. Disproportionately represented. Thank you. That's what I meant. What a baby. Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you. The monkeypox virus mainly spreads through skin-on-skin contact,

but it can also transmit through touching linens. Yeah, if you're rolling around in a blanket you bought at a Liberace yard sale. Buy someone of the... You can get an affection from linen hey look freddie murchie used to wipe his ass with this the i'll make a pillowcase out of it the vast majority of cases reported have been in men who have sex with men yeah exactly so how the hell is it a pandemic or whatever you want to call it though health officials have stressed that anyone can catch the virus. Boy, don't that all sound familiar? Anybody who can catch the virus, you know, anybody, like any guy that takes an old pair of Greg Louganis' swimsuit and shoes on him. You fucking liars. I'm healthy as a horse. Not hung like one, but I'm healthy as a horse.

Good night, everybody. I'm a miniature pony. If you've got someone who is celebrating an upcoming birthday or event or just someone you want to send a great gift to, send them a cameo from me. I would love to send the personal message to roast your loved one or

coworker. You've got to give me a little bit of information. I've done a couple. They're like, yeah, he's a dumb guy. He drives a car. Dallas has got the link up there on the screen. These are fun to do. Go there and you can see some of the cameos I've done. Order one yourself or just go to

Cameo and search my name, Kevin Spacey. Ah, mama's home. Anyways. Monkey Pox. Anyways. Monkey pox. Jesus Christ. I can't. Has the last 10 years been the weirdest on this planet?

I mean, each day. I'm reading news last night that I'm not even telling you guys about that is so brutal. Just evil everywhere. Whether it's a mom selling her six-year-old girl, you know, having sex with men and just pimping around. I mean, I couldn't believe this shit. Tremendously exciting in a bad way. Speaking of that headline, a real low life, more than a dozen female inmates were raped, assaulted, or harassed in an Indiana jail. These are actually women, too. It's not like the story we did with, remember they put the guy, the trans woman, and that means he has a dick in a woman's prison,

and we all know how that goes. Anyways, harassed in an Indiana jail. The corrections officers, actually one of them, this guy, Mr. Lowe, allegedly sold off his keys to the cell, to their cells, male prisoner cells. That's a stupid sentence they wrote there. He sold the keys to the male prisoner's cells, the keys that open the woman's section. God, who wrote this? Do you get it now?

You got the woman's keys and, hey, you want to fuck that? Of course, you're too bubblicious and some strange nuts. For $1,000 each, multiple lawsuits allege. How can you think you're going to get away with something? The woman claimed they were forced to endure a night of terror.

They had to watch Trevor Noah's show and then two hours of Colbert reruns. See that? Those are actual women there. A night of terror at the Clark County Jail in Jefferson after Officer David Lowe, seen here with the best haircut you can get in Indiana, 29, allegedly gave the male inmates access to the female housing pod for several hours on October 23, 2021. At least two female inmates claim

they were raped during the ordeal, while others allege they were groped, fondled, harassed, and intimidated, according to the lawsuit. You're raping me! This is rape! This is rape! This is rape! It ain't rape, bitch. That's consensual up in this mother- Eight women filed a federal civil rights complaint against Lowe, the Clark County Sheriff, and other corrections officers last week, while another suit was filed on behalf of 20 women last month. Lowe, who has since been fired, but hired by the teachers union to work in Chicago, and criminally charged over the incident, was on duty the night he allegedly handed out the keys to the male inmates after taking the bribes.

That's what the lawsuit says. He looks like trouble. Indiana's a tough state, man. You're a crumb creep. Huh? Yeah, it's a little... I played a casino there. A little edgy around the casino.

Nice people. I mean, come on. Bobby Knight, he seems like a mellow guy. I edgy around the casino. Nice people. I mean, come on. Bobby Knight? He seems like a mellow guy. I don't even know where he's from. The male inmates covered their heads with towels. This is what I do when I have sex with my wife, to shield their identities

when they enter the female-only area. And then allegedly they threatened to harm women even further if they screamed for help or tried to use an emergency call button. This sounds like a good movie. You're too young, and I know you're too young for this, Dallas. There was a movie for you guys, people my age, and there's a lot of you that's watching. You guys remember it was a made-for-TV movie.

Remember Chuck Connors, the rifleman? He played a crooked sheriff down south. It was called Nightmare in Batom County. Remember Chuck Connors, the rifleman? He played a crooked sheriff down south. It was called Nightmare in Batten County. Susan Day from the Partridge family was one of the lead women, and like another woman, they go down south on a vacation. He pulls them over, brings them back to the cell, and starts raping them. Fuck in. It was great for a TV movie.

Tremendous. I'm sure it holds up. Men were yelling. Listen to this. It was great for a TV movie. Tremendous. I'm sure it holds up. Men were yelling. Listen to this. Fucking prison, huh? It is a jungle. Men were yelling.

Well, I don't know why this is so shocking. You hear this at a goddamn hip-hop concert. Where the pussy at? And I haven't had pussy in two years. That could have come out of my kitchen. What? Hey, where are the white women at? We don't have those keys. No jail officers came to the woman's aid during the hour-long attack, and some were left with significant physical injuries, including bleeding, vaginal tears, and genital herpes. You can get those from a toilet seat at this nightclub. What's it called? The Ramrod? Anyways, imagine vaginal tears, herpes,

and horrible. A lot of that going on. The lawsuit filed last week is seeking a jury trial as well as punitive and compensatory damage for the women. Lowe is awaiting trial on charges of trafficking with an inmate, aiding escape, and official misconduct. Not unofficial. What? But not unofficial misconduct. I was just going to say. That unofficial misconduct I was just gonna say that's official misconduct it's like a senseless killing as opposed to a sensible official misconduct what did he keep his hat on mama take this badge from from me I can't use it anymore it's getting dark too dark to see feels like

I'm knocking on heaven's door hey hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm killing it, folks. Here's a story you won't catch. Well, maybe you would on CNN. The headline is, Hey, Aspreth. Is this the final story? Pink, fleshy, and round. That sounds like somebody describing me after I assaulted them sexually.

What did the members look like? Pink, fleshy, and round. You just described Joy Behar. Pink, fleshy, and round. The anus has a lot in common with the mouth. That's a gross one. You forgot the teeth. Oh, my God. The anus has a lot in common with the mouth, including the breath, and is every bit as important, but the similarities don't just stop there. Buttholes can also help animals breathe, new research says.

From the Paul Lynn Institute. Nathan Lane, scientist Nathan Lane. What the hell, so you can breathe out of your ass? If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? I think he is. A team of scholars in Japan has found that pigs can absorb oxygen through the anus. What scares me is who was sitting around going, yeah, but it makes sense. Because when you breathe in, folks, you know, it goes into your, you know, the, it's osmosis.

It goes into your blood. The oxygen goes into your blood or whatever. So long as you get oxygen in there, but this is going to lead to some horrible accidents all over my Mike Lindell sheets. Oxygen through the anus in studies. I've had oxygen come out of the anus at 150 miles an hour. We all have. I tried to light come out of the anus at 150 miles an hour. We all have. I tried to light a fire when I was in high school. I fought it to it. It blew the lighter out of my hand. Stuck right in the wall. Oxygen through the anus in studies exploring treatment for people

with respiratory conditions. I think I'd rather die. Got a garden hose. I can't breathe. Yeah, here's some looblets. By pumping oxygen and oxygenated liquid through animals' buttholes into their intestines, the researchers found that they could survive without breathing through their lungs. That was the pig saying, look. I can't breathe. It's so impressive because we never thought of breathing from the gut.

Exactly, Sergeant. But it's possible. Takanori Takabi, an author of the study and a doctor at the Tokyo Medical and Dental University. What? What the fuck? Open wide. Don't forget to flush your ass. Oh, my God. Look at him. He looks like he's from a boy band in Tokyo, doesn't he?

And I can see by the way he's holding his hand, he came up with his anus breathing idea and the way he's dressed. But this might be a, I don't know. Anyways, there's a line, there is a line of gay guys around this hospital, too deep to be experimented on. Anyway, dental universe, I didn't read that, the original article. I'm not making this up, folks.

Now they're looking to submit their research on pigs, which are closer to humans in physiology and genetic makeup, especially, again, we're talking about the woman from The View, to a U.S. medical journal in August. to a U.S. medical journal in August. As many emergency rooms saw during the early stages of the COVID-19 pandemic, it's not always possible to get your hands on a ventilator, but a garden hose and some, I can't believe it's not butter, right there. With this in mind, Takebi thought, why not try the back door? I'm telling you,

he's in a boy bed. And a 50-kilogram pig, can't we switch over? I'm so sick of when we provide this size of liquid oxygen to the butt. This is really, this is funny, but it makes, it actually makes, the diagram is killing me. It's like this little, start it for me.

How's it go, the three little pigs, when you count your toes? This little pig stayed home. Yeah, this little pig stayed home. Yeah, this one, yeah, and this one had a garden hose shoved up his ass. When we provide this size of liquid oxygen to the butt, they can survive 30 minutes, even when experiencing, excuse me, lethal respiratory failure conditions. I don't know why a pig would do that. I don't know, during tax season? He's all stressed. Caleb Kelly, a gastroenterology fellow at Yale.

What are you doing? Gastroenterology fellow? Yeah, I say that. At Yale University, who's not affiliated with the study. He just swatted in from a gay nightclub. Describe the scientist's newfound method as promising. The pandemic has highlighted the need to expand options for ventilation and oxygenation in critical illness. And this niche or niche will persist even as the pandemic subsides, he wrote in a, it has subsided.

Look at these three guys, they escaped the hospital and this scientist caught them accompanying the 2021 study. Takebi plans to start human clinical trials as early as Michael Jackson's birthday as this year to prove it's real life efficacy. And anyways, they're fighting about it. About the thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years.

We have some video of one of the first sample batches. Oh, that's right, yeah. Hey, come on! Better look alive. Einhorn's on her way down. Woo! Oh, that's right, yeah. That's interesting. So you're going to see. Let me just put it this way. A lot of times you find somebody injured or whatever, passed out,

and they have throw up in the mob. You can't do CPR. Now you can, the other end. My question is, what happens when, you know, you're relying on the oxygen from your asshole, but then you need to take a shit? Yes, that's the equivalent. Well, you need some of it, and it's hard to do the reverse Heimlich. You've got to have a Heimlich move for that.

That's a good point. That's the equivalent of having a piece of steak caught in your throat. Good point. Anyways, that's enough for today, ladies and gents. It's Thursday. Don't forget. Hey, don't forget to sign up monthly. Patreon.com.

Also, thecomicsgym.com. Again, monthly, please, if you can. Afford it in the Biden days. Nickdip.com for all your DiPaolo needs. Cameo.com as you know. And I also do something similar, Cameo, called ShoutOut.Fans. It's sort of a

you know what, a Liberty version. American loving of a Cameo. Anyways, that is it. You guys think it? I will say it. You're most welcome. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take care. I'm free I'm free guitar solo Outro Music