The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bill Barr Gonna Bust Balls of Bureau #151

Episode Date: April 10, 2019

Bernies a Millionaire, Barr's Balls Busted, Ilhan Omar and Dan Crenshaw don't see Eye to Eye.

🎵 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! How are you folks? Welcome to the show Wednesday. Streaming live, YouTube, Facebook. Always live on a Wednesday. We'll do it live. Okay. We'll do it live! Fuck it! Do it live!

I'll write it and we'll do it live! You're goddamn right we will. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. What is going on, ladies and gentlemen? What is going on? Billy Barr, Attorney General Billy Barr getting his balls busted! by, you know, another.

How many fucking hearings do they do? They ever do anything to move the country forward. Anyhow, he's on the fucking griddle. Attorney General William Barr told the Senate panel he's reviewing whether federal authorities improperly spied on the Trump campaign during the now completed inquiry into whether the campaign conspired with the Kremlin. We all know the answer. Us people who don't fucking stay glued to Joe Scarborough and Rachel Maddow and CNN and the L.A. Times and the New York Times and all the other fucking liars who made asses of themselves. Now Barr comes along and now they're getting nervous. Just listen to the tone of Nita Lowey.

She's 112 years old. Listen to her tone in this clip. Your memo stated, quote, while this report does not conclude that the president committed a crime, it also does not exonerate him. Yet President Trump has publicly stated that this report is a complete and total exoneration. Can you tell us who is factually accurate? Exoneration. Can you tell us who is factually accurate and will the release report include details on the obstruction issue? And why, as you noted, the president is not exonerated or will that information be redacted? I've already explained the information that's going to be redacted from the report, the four categories. That is what's going to govern the redactions.

And, in fact, the special counsel and his staff are helping us select the information in the report that falls into those four categories. But, again, the report, I'll be in a position, as I said, within a week to release the report. People can then read the report. I've already promised the judiciary committees that I would appear as soon as they're able to schedule a hearing after the report is released. So I'm not going to discuss it any further until after the report is out. Where's the spying clip I sent you? Is that part of it? Loewy doesn't speak in that one.

That's the one I wanted first. I know, but then you said, check out the tone of Nita Loewy in this clip. So I went to the Nita Loewy clip. Oh, all right. As long as you get the spying clip yeah sorry she speaks you're not suggesting though that spying occurred

pause I don't you're not suggesting spying occurred yeah that's exactly what was suggested are you that fucking ensconced in your own little lip bubble? You know, you know, suggesting Obama administration fucking spied on Trump during the campaign. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. Does Bill Barr look like Elton John? Is it me? He looks like he looks like Elton John.

If you haven't seen Elton lately, that's what he looks like. But you're not suggesting that. No, I'm fucking saying that's exactly it, you dumb, nice fuck. Go ahead. Well, I guess you could. I think there was a spying did occur. Yes, I think spying did occur. You are correct, sir.

This committee owes an apology. This committee owes an apology. Apology, Senator. You're not suggesting, yeah, that's exactly what I said. Oh, my aching stem. You're not suggesting you're going to call us out on our bullshit for the last two years and make us look worse than we already do. You're not going to point out to call us out on our bullshit for the last two years and make us look worse than we already do. You're not going to point out to the nation, are you? That we're fucking lying cocksuckers?

Is that what you're pointing? Yeah, I do. Can you imagine after all that? They think it still should be one-sided. The Attorney General said plan to examine the genesis and the conduct of the FBI's investigation to possible ties between the Trump campaign and Russia launched in the midst of 2016. The Department Inspector General is already conducting review of surveillance warrants, authority used to eavesdrop on former campaigner Carter Page in October 2016. Barr said that effort should be completed by June. Barr has said that the effort should be completed by June.

Republicans in Congress have complained repeatedly that the FBI targeted Trump's campaign for political reasons, revealing text messages between two senior officials, you know, McCabe and Strzok and his girlfriend, involved in the probe who expressed their personal contempt for Trump. So far, however, investigations into Congress have not produced evidence that the extraordinary inquiry into whether Trump's campaign cooperated with Russian efforts to sway the 2016 election that put him in office were politically motivated yes that's all been proven

what are you a fucking dog style of me go take a look at Peter Strzok and his girlfriend's texts what are you shitting me yes we have an insurance policy in in case hillary loses the girlfriend says he won't be president will he trump and he and and and uh struck says no he will not we have insurance policy set it in andy mccabe's office so fucking stop it of course it was politically motivated what the fuck

bartolom make his wednesday planned to ask other Justice Department officials to examine whether the department abused its surveillance powers, which they did. He said he had not formed a view of whether the department or the other intelligence agencies acted improperly, but the sensitivity of using national security tools to investigate the conduct of a political campaign required scrutiny. Jesus, how outrageous that you even think that. They're actually shocked that somebody's going to call them on their fucking bullshit. In a perfect world, Obama would be in front of this being grilled, and maybe he will if they dig deep enough.

And the thick-ankled dogface who paid for the fucking Steele dossier that said Trump was in Russia watching hookers piss on themselves. You know what? If that was true, he would have won by a landslide. Hey, this guy's just like me. Only I didn't do it. I didn't do it in a beautiful hotel in Moscow. I did it at a Motel 6 in Denver. And they weren't hookers. They were two, well, a girl that worked the coat room and a fat waitress. But hey, hey, P is P. Anyhow, the Attorney General has said he expected to release a redacted version of a special counsel's report within a week. At the same time, Barr asserted that some of the parts of the report must remain secret because they contain grand jury information.

Remember the clip I showed of fucking Gerald Nadler after Bill Clinton was impeached saying, no, we can't release all that. Sounds like this grand jury testimony that has to be redacted, but now he's singing a different tone. They're all so full of shit. Please dig deep. Have somebody get arrested.

They contain grand jury information, sensitive national security material, interfered with ongoing inquiries or information that could be damaging to the reputations of those who were not charged in a special counsel's investigation. The attorney general said Mueller and his staff were working to help remove sensitive information from the report so it could be released to Congress and public. And he defended the summary conclusions he delivered to Congress last month and the speed at which the conclusions were made.

They were busting his balls about that. Boy, it took two years and you wrote up a summary and you put it out there in a week or two, right, F? And he was like, yeah, I had help from 18 other lawyers, Mueller's office. Oh, dum-dum-snatch, dum-dum snatch, dum-dum snatch. I guess that's a clip we already showed, right? I only had two? Lawmakers coldly questioned Barron's decision

to release a bare-bones summary, which he has the right to do, of the report last month in which the Attorney General said Mueller had not found a conspiracy involving President Donald Trump's campaign and the Russian government, and they're still busting balls about it.

Stop! Yes. Thank you. Yesterday, Barr told the House Committee he had no plans to ask for a court's permission to disclose grand jury material, but said he would consult with Congress after he released his report to determine whether he can provide additional information. House Democrats avowed last week they would seek Mueller's testimony in addition to that of Barr, who also is expected to address the matter for congressional committees in early May. Justice, however, has defended Barr's handling of the report,

suggesting that the full document was so packed with secret grand jury information that revealing even portions of it immediately would have been uh impossible and they're still whining these fucks let's see what happens folks let's see if we can't end up with somebody on the left and handcuffs going to jail like Manafort did or like Roger Stone let's see if it's even possible. How Peter Strzok isn't in jail and his fucking ugly girlfriend. It's all gonna come out. It's all unraveling. Yeah. Good luck to you all. See if Sarah Silverman will be tweeting about that. Wrong about Netanyahu too, Sarah.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Wah wah. What else going? Oh, look who's back in the news. Minnesota Democrat, the Jew hater, Ilhan Omar, facing more backlash after a speech at a Muslim rights groups event in which she described the September 11th attack as some people did something. That's what she said.

Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar! What a scumbag. Omar spoke at a council on American-Islamic relations. That's known as CARE. They're also a fucking hate group,

by the way. Fundraiser last month where she called upon other Muslim Americans to make people uncomfortable. That's in quotes. With their activism and presence in

the society and criticize the Jewish state. What a little shit stirrer. Nice going, Minnesota. Thanks for delivering this dumb whore to us. Oh, boy. But another part of the speech surfaced on social media early this week in which Omar described the terror attacks perpetrated by Al-Qaeda. Oh, now she's whitewashing it. Who are you giving the finger? I'll come over there and slap that rag off your head. Care was founded after the 9-11 attacks because they recognized that some people did something, she said,

and that all of us were starting to lose access to our civil liberties. Total fucking lie. Total lie. Oh, the Patriot Act, did that scare you? We had to... Remember? Oh, Muslim backlash, Islamophobia. One person was murdered by some idiot redneck in Arizona.

The guy was a Sikh. He was an Indian working at a gas station. That was the extent of the backlash. So, you know, how the fuck... Boy, she's going to get reelected, too, I bet. The comments from the Minnesota freshman Democrats still railing from a number of anti-Semitic controversies prompted text Republican Dan Crenshaw. You know, the guy with one eye. Him and Pete Davidson had that whole thing on SNL. Crenshaw had to slam Omar for her description of the people.

Some people did something. What was it? What do you mean? Who? Some people. Who? What? Was it the Red Sox infield?

Was it a bunch of Boy Scouts in the woods? Was it a boy band? Some people did something. They knocked down some buildings uh was it the irish uh he said first member of congress to ever describe terrorists who killed thousands of americans on 9-11 as some people who did something crenshaw wrote in a tweet unbelievable he said and uh he's right durka durka muhammad jihad every democrat should be asked by the media if they disavow right. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa. A bakala.

Every Democrat should be asked by the media if they disavow Ilhan statements. Every one of them tweeted Andrew Pollack, father of a Parkland high school shooting victim. Ilhan Omar isn't just anti-Semitic, she's anti-American, he says. Nearly 3,000 Americans lost their lives

to Islamic terrorists on 9 11 yet oh ma ha ma ha yeah diminish it is as some people did something democrat leaders need to condemn her brazen display of disrespect said gop chairwoman ronald mcdaniel yeah hold your fucking breath care has been infamously listed as an unindicted, listen to this, co-conspirator in funding Hamas. Yet it's all right that she has relations with them, one of our congresswomen. Stemming from the case against the Holy Land Foundation for Relief and Development,

which led to millions of charitable dollars getting funneled to the Palestinian terrorist organization. And that's who Minnesota voted in. Nice going. She first came under fire for tweeting in 2012 that Israel has hypnotized the world. No, that was David Copperfield. May Allah awaken the people

and help them see the evil doings of Israel. She then drew a bipartisan uproar in February after she suggested politicians in the U.S. were bought by AIPAC, a nonpartisan organization that seeks to foster the relationship between the U.S. and Israel. And on and on she goes. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! Hey, hey, hey, hey. Thank you, Mr. Crenshaw, for standing up and calling him. How did she get fucking elected? How? I know you have 68 Somalis living in Minneapolis. Do they have that much voting power? How the frick did she get elected?

The Democrats don't like the Jews, including Bernie. I'm starting to like, I mean, I hate his politics, but I just love that he's so out of his fucking mind. Omar then reignited the controversy, saying groups supportive of Israel were pushing members of Congress to have allegiance to a foreign country. Speaking of foreign country, why don't you go back to the third world shithole? Hence you came. I'm glad somebody called her out on her fucking

nonsense. Oh, look at the flag. Wait a minute, it's not on fire. There should be black smoke coming off that. Huh? What's... Isn't there a picture of her peeing on that three seconds after they snapped that picture?

Naughty, naughty girl. You're a naughty, naughty girl. Naughty girl. Durka, Durka. Muhammad Jihad. Hakka Sherpa Sherpa. Hakka Shebad. Oh my God. What has happened to our country?

I want to know how many Japanese were elected to Congress after December 7th. Let's pull up that figure. They couldn't. They were interment camps. I know. they couldn't they were interment camp i know this is how left wing and and how out of whack this country is especially the media especially espn as i love sports stories because they intersect with it's a microcosm of our society excuse me nick bosa do you know who he is place for ohio state his brother's already in the NFL.

I think he's a Miami Dolphin. Not sure. Got a picture of Bosa? Put up a picture. That's Nick Bosa. Anyways, he's, you know, All-American Ohio State defensive end slash linebacker. Anyways, he's hiding Donald Trump support

ahead of the NFL draft. Nick Bosa has swiped some of his Twitter slate clean. The Ohio State defensive end, who's projected to be one of the NFL draft. Nick Bosa has swiped some of his Twitter slate clean. The Ohio State defensive end, who's projected to be one of the top picks in this month's NFL draft, told ESPN he deleted certain posts, including a 2016 tweet in which he called Colin Kaepernick a clown

due to his potential landing spot. He said, I had to. There's a chance I might end up in San Francisco because they have like the number two pick. Can you imagine? This is where we're at. Bosa 21 previously quoted, previously quote tweeted a picture of Donald Trump and Reagan with a caption, GOATS.

In other words, greatest of all times. Pro Sports Illustrated. God, oh my God, huh? ESPN also notes, noted Bosa's online behavior grew increasingly bland leading up to the NFL combine in early March, though he had previously praised

the president during his time at Ohio State. We're at a point now in this country where a college kid going into the NFL can't say that he likes the current president. Are you fucking,

and why are you ESPN Disney slash libtards? Why are you watching his tweet, his tweet so closely? Huh? You just hoping something breaks? Let me get this straight. So black dudes can kneel during the national anthem. You know, I have no problem with that, but this guy put up that Reagan and Trump trump greatest of presidents of all time holy shit wipe that off facebook before what before what he drops a couple rounds and the draft caught costing himself millions of dollars because he admits to liking trump what the fuck is going on on. I wonder if we should have, you know, we should have, let's go back to all the Facebook and social media of black dudes who voted for Obama and make a big stink. Well, that's different.

No, it's not. This is fucking sickening that you have to hide the fact that you like the current administration because you're afraid you'll be punished. What does that say about the times we're living in? Fascists left as fucks. That's what it says. And if you left that stuff up, remember Tom Brady was getting shit. Brady was getting shit because his friends would try.

Even though Brady said, I don't agree with much of his policies, but he's still a friend, but still caught a load of shit. Just put, you know what, Bosa, show us some balls. Put the picture and the quotes back up. And you know what? And if something happens to you, if you drop three rounds and shit,

the NFL will hurt themselves even more. Do it. Grow a pair. Put the shit back up there. Say, fuck you. This is who I am. It worked for Trump during the 2016 campaign. Ryan?

I thought you were going to... Something? Malcolm Palm says, the left are a bunch of psychotic, backstabbing, delusional idiots. That is correct. Malcolm, you are correct, sir. You are on the money. Backstabbing? I'm not sure who they're backstabbing. Each other, I guess.

We'd like to see some of that footage. But it doesn't matter. They, you know, no, they're unaccountable. They don't answer to the law. The fact that that woman, you're not suggesting that there was spying on the truck. Yes, not only suggesting, we're going to dig deep. Everybody knows it. Shut off fucking Mika, Big Titter Brzezinski, and Hillbilly Eyes Joe Scarborough, and wake the fuck up. Put on Fox News for five minutes. I know Hannity's a Nazi, but he's only been right about all this shit.

And anybody else who leans fucking right but the fact that we're living in a time where a college football player has to scrub it's not like he's on there with his resting his balls in some co-ed's mouth while she's passed out that would make him move him up a notch uh you know it's not like he's on there fucking smoking a joint or shooting up or like Aaron Hernandez. He's got a handgun and the tweet and, you know, he has to scrub the shit. What does that say about where we are? Anyhow, folks, do you want to get a personal video message From me?

I got a couple waiting right now To a liberal that you want to set straight I can tell your next door neighbor To kiss your ass I can tell your ex she's a syphilitic whore Or your boyfriend He's a needle dick moron I can sing happy birthday to your three year old

Whatever you guys want I'll put on a Marilyn Monroe wing, sing happy birthday to little Timmy. But this is fun. I do it all the time. People just make requests. I make a little video. I send it to them. They send it to their friends to bust their balls, somebody they hate at work. I can ruin their day. I can make their day. Just go to Cameo.com, fill out the information, click on my profile, fill out the information, tell me what you'd Just go to Cameo.com. Fill out the information. Click on my profile. Fill out the information. Tell me what you'd like me to talk about.

Be glad to do it. Enjoy it very, very much. Norm MacDonald is on there. Hannibal Buress. Jeff Ross. Brett Favre. A bunch of other comedians I can't even think of. But Cameo.com.

Soccer fan. Oh, more left-wing fascism. Soccer fan sues California DMV for rejecting Come On You Whites vanity play. Come On You Whites. That's all he wanted to say, and that's somehow controversial in the dumbest state in the union.

and that's somehow controversial in the dumbest state in the union. It's a good soccer song. I started to watch my country. Going down the drain. We are all apart now. We are all to blame. Well, I think I took over. We just let them come.

I wonder if there was any meth in the fucking green room before they did that taping. A soccer fan says in a lawsuit that the California Department of Motor Vehicles violated his First Amendment rights by rejecting a personalized license plate he said would celebrate his favorite team, but which the DMV, the morons in California, determined might be deemed defensive. John Kotler applied for a plate. Ryan, can you focus? Thanks. John Kotler applied for a plate that would read C-O-Y-W.

It doesn't even say the word. Like, anybody would know what the fuck that meant. It stands for, it's an acronym for, Come On You Whites. It stands for, it's an acronym for, Come On You Whites. Used by supporters of London-based Fulham Football Club. According to the federal lawsuit filed in L.A., Fulham players wear white jerseys. In denying the proposed plate, the DMV said the abbreviation could have racial overtones and carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency.

What a fucking crock. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Can you explain to me who that would offend? First of all, it's an acronym. Nobody's going to know what they're talking about. So that's how you know it's bullshit. So now we can't even, you can't even, just the slogan, come on you

whites. It could be a Mexican driving it. It could be a guy from Germany. It could be a black, but again, because it has the words whites in it. That's how PC and fucked up we are, especially in California with all this PC shit started. It's the first amendment fucking right. They're pissing on it because it says it's got the letter W in it. Somebody might figure out that somehow encouraging white people to do something. That's where we stand as a fucking nation. Congratulations, leftists. Are you fucking dog styling me? Come on, you whites. Who is that going to offend, even if the words were written out on the plate? Offensive to good taste.

So just to say the word whites or imply anything about white people is in bad taste and indecent. That's the only logical fucking conclusion you can come to. The department's rejecting. You know what's funny about that? You can't have something like that, but right next to it, you could have a bumper sticker that says, you know, fucking, uh,

you know, Trump's a fucking Nazi cocksucker. That's... Right next to the plate, you know, but don't... Don't have an acronym that nobody would know about

unless you were from Manchester. The department's rejection of the application violated his right to freedom of speech, said Kotler. That's his of the application violated his right to freedom of speech, said Kotler. That's his lawyer. You're goddamn right. He's a constitutional scholar at USC Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism.

Kotler's suit asked the court to declare the Department of Motor Vehicles criteria for personalized license plates as unconstitutional. Even a third grader would know that. He also wants the department to pay his court costs. Good for him. I want this guy as the lawyer. You can't fucking say that. You're going to be kidding.

Nobody would know. In its rejection letter to Kotler, the Department of Motor Vehicles acknowledged the difficulties in balancing an individual's constitutional right to free speech and expression while protecting the sensibilities of all segments of our population. It's not your job to protect the sensibilities of certain segments or all of the population. It's not your fucking job. You should be able to have anything on there.

Whoa, it might cause road raid incidents. People should, yeah. Let's thin out the herd with the morons. You should be able to have anything on there. Whoa, it might cause road rage incidents. People should, yeah. Let's thin out the herd with the morons. There should be, you should, if you're, if you're pro-abortion, you should be able to have a picture of a fucking dried up fetus on your license plate. If you're pro-gun, you should have a fucking AR-15.

And, you know, a country that has free speech. Notice how every time there's a free speech issue, it's the rights, you know, speech being crushed. You ever notice that? You fucking people are so ignorant in government, especially in California. That state is just horrible. I love my fans there.

Fucking love Rogan's fans. But as far as the politicians, just look at what's happened to your cities, whether it's San Francisco or LA. It's just a fucking nightmare. Oh my God. Listen to this. In 1973, the California Court of Appeals

upheld the Department of Motor Vehicles standard of good taste and decency in rejecting a plaintiff's claim that his free speech was violated when the department rejected his requested license plate. Easy lay. Which I had in high school and it paid off big time. Can you imagine? They said that, you know. Yeah, I'm sure people behind that car that had a plate that's an easy lay there was so shocked they went off the road and hit a tree and fucking die uh you dog styling me you should have a pick you should have you should be able to put up

fuck me you know you know maybe the license plate should come with trigger warnings. The trigger state. Ryan, what's up? You leaning something? There have been four Japanese-Americans congressmen. Yeah. Two of which have been elected since 1941.

Oh, we're going back to... Okay. Is that right? How many? Four total? Four total. All from California or Hawaii. Yeah. Well, when was the first one elected after 1941?

There's just one in 1941 and the other one was 2013. Anyhow. You asked me to look it up. Yeah, fucking 28 minutes ago when it was relevant to the conversation why don't you get a vanity plate says dummy not a bad effort though i appreciate it uh constitutional scholar david hudson said to me court should be very sensitive to viewpoint discrimination and should err on the side of protecting the individual's speech from government censorship.

Yeah, we could all agree on that, but there's something called the Democrat Party. And remember the poll they did about a year ago, 40% of millennials think you should crack down on speech that's hurtful. You fucking fags, you fucking fags, you fucking fags. I don't mean that to gay people. I mean, you know how I mean it. Kotler's being represented pro bono by the libertarian-leaning nonprofit Pacific Legal Foundation.

Anyways, he says, you can call John a sports fan or a First Amendment expert, but the DMV's misguided efforts to regulate license plates have misbranded John as a rape. Exactly. Again, it's an acronym that nobody would know what the fuck it's talking about. Somebody's going to go, what, Google it while they're in the car and go fucking crazy? That W's for white. Pull over. Do you understand how stupid you are, people who believe in this shit? It's the only thing, the First Amendment, the only thing that separates us from the garbage that's pouring over the

southern border, where they come from. They're trying to escape oppression like that. So they can come here and call Whitey a cracker and a piece of shit and Trump a Nazi and ya, ya, ya, ya, ya. Paul Whitey, a cracker and a piece of shit, and Trump a Nazi, and ya, ya, ya, ya, ya. I want to get one that says, I don't know, I got to get Vanity Play, DMZ, blow me, bill. It's going to be a big plate. It's more of a billboard.

Go ahead, Ryan. I got nothing. I'm just looking at you. It's even more uncomfortable. Ryan said he's looking at me please come to Denver she said no boy why don't you come home to me? Ramblin' boy, why don't you settle down? The funny bone ain't your kind of club.

Bernie Sanders' tax returns reveals that he is a millionaire, as he would say. Fucking hypocrite. Oh, I'm happy he's a millionaire. I mean, I am happy. I really am. I'm happy. What I'm not happy about is his viewpoint and opinion on other millionaires. That's what makes him a hypocritical cocksucker and a socialist. I have a, yes, by tax returns, I am a millionaire. I plan on getting that down to 18.5 a a year I somehow made that much money

I wrote a book, that's not my fault there's nothing wrong with that Bernie you shouldn't be ashamed of it look at Bernie, there he is getting a blowjob I feel somebody licking my sack this is the face I make when I'm coming. I got one word for you, bran. I think he farted. Look at the lady on the left. She's like, Jesus H. Christ, do I have mustard gas in my upper lip? I'm going to fucking die over here. America's most famous

socialist is now a millionaire. He's a millionaire. I don't have a problem with that. Who's got a problem with that? Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? Yeah. Bernie Sanders said Tuesday he would release 10 years of his tax returns by tax day on Monday and confirmed that he was now one of the millionaires he reviled throughout his political career. How did that happen, Bernie? Because you're just like us. Admit it.

I wrote a best-selling book. If you write a best-selling book, you can be a millionaire, too. He got all defensive, and he said, fuck you, leave me alone. I'm a good writer. I once wrote an article in Erotic Magazine saying when a woman's having sex with her husband, she's actually fantasizing about being raped

by three guys at once. That's how you know I'm a real socialist and even in my rape fantasies um you're sharing the pussy three times most of the good pussies are trickling up to the one percent april 15th is coming he says we wanted to release 10 years of tax returns april 15th 2019 will be the 10th year so i think you will see them He also said Trump should do the same, but he doesn't have to, Bernie. But he predicted his would be dull in comparison to the president's, he says. You're greedy just like the rest of us. He says not being a billionaire,

not having investments in Saudi Arabia, wherever he has investments all over the world, mine will be a bit more boring, but I will do better. Here I am seen having my taint lit, not enjoying it one minute whatsoever. Nothing to be ashamed of, Bernie. I hope you're a multimillionaire, but just give it away

you know what I mean this is you fucking libs who make like George Colonies of the world Ben Affleck's whoever Bill Maher why do you still follow the tax Robert De Niro

why do you still follow the tax guidelines as far as percentages you're supposed to pay based on your why don't you give you know if you made 12 million last year why don't you give, you know, if you made $12 million last year, why don't you give $10 million to the homeless or whoever the fuck, whatever charity you pretend to care about?

What's stopping you? What's stopping any of you rich libs in Hollywood from doing that? The answer is nothing, but none of you should do it because you're hypocrites. And you live in giant fucking houses behind gated fucking walls, and you're guarded by guys with guns. Everything you piss on. Do as I say, not as I do. But good for you, Bernie.

Enjoy the goddamn money. You're going to be dead in five minutes anyways. What are you, 171? Look at you there. He's got an ulcer in his stomach. Right there. It's like a fucking bee's nest. Bleeding from his ass.

He probably had dairy that morning. Anyways, don't be ashamed of it. Flaunt that he bought a nice house. Remember right after the election up in Vermont? He said, remember,

I'm a democratic socialist. I can't help it if my books sell well. I got a lot of friends in high places and that's that. Here's a guy that I can relate to more than Bernie Sanders actually. I think I can.

Yeah. A UK man, that would be a guy in England, with a sick obsession for publicly masturbating near horses. That is sick. You should do it on the horse if you're enjoying the ride.

Near horses has been arrested twice within 24 hours for the same lewd offense. Hello, I'm Mr. Red. Hello, I'm Mr. Red Malcolm Downs who has a long long history of pleasuring himself in front of the mammals was arrested on

February 18th at the Kentucky Derby he was in gate 6 with his pants up he was arrested February 18th after he was spotted touching himself in a field in the city of Howell, England remind me to sell that condo god fucking damn

you know what I'm saying, he was touching himself up in here a witness initially thought that Downs was urinating don't you know the difference between yellow and, I don't know off-white he thought he was urinating, soon became clear he was in fact masturbating off-white. He thought he was urinating.

Soon became clear he was, in fact, masturbating. This activity went on for three or four minutes. His penis was exposed for about ten minutes. When police grilled Downs about the illicit act, he told detectives, I was sat on a bench. I was feeling sexy, so I started to. What the fuck does that even mean?

Downs told cops he knew what he was doing was wrong, but look at the ass on that horse, he said. It reminds me of a young Esther Rolle. Oh, he didn't say that. The suspect, there he is. He doesn't look like a sick fuck, does he? I'll tell you what's surprising, he's jerking off near stables and not not looking into the fucking room of the you know maple street elementary school this guy's got pedophile written all over him but he likes horses he's a

oh my god the world don't judge nick um oh i. Anyways, the suspect was then released on bail after saying he'd been planning to see his doctor for libido-suppressing drugs. What do you call that, saltpita? There's not enough in the world. I would love to see this guy like at, I don't know. I don't want to say a cop's journal.

Where else can you see horses? Can you imagine sitting next to this guy during the Super Bowl and a Budweiser ad comes out on those Clydesdales? Jesus Christ, he'll decorate your face like Fudgy the Whale. Sick bastard. But within 24 hours, Downs could not resist his urges. He was back at the same field where he was caught by an off-duty cop. You ever think he's getting off by the cops or people?

It's got nothing to do with the horses. Does it? I mean, they're a good-looking animal, but I have never grabbed them. You know what I mean? And I've seen some nice horses. I got a horse named Lollipop. The offender was ultimately jailed for eight months. Downs admitted he had a problem.

Oh, that's big here. But then he got a thrill out of pleasuring himself. Yeah, but where do the horses work at? Who doesn't get a thrill out of pleasuring yourself? That's what it is. It's a nice...

I don't have to beat the fucking Preakness to do it. Guys, you probably get a picture of Barbro. He also had nine breaches of anti-social behavior order for masturbating in public. Again, I don't think it's about the horses, but you don't want to be in Times Square. It's all dirty. There's no privacy.

The court order had barred Downs from entering any field, stable, or area that may have equine animals across the northern England county of Humberside. Yes, Jason, anything? No, it's just gross. You think it's gross? Just a little bit it is how about the poor horse is just looking at him

my my my I understand if the guy was hung well and you know he's doing he could just say look I'm comparing myself

to that fucking I should know a horse's name I have one but what do we got here? Dates, nickdip.com. Hey, how'd you know? Did you guys see that?

How did you know that was coming? That was tremendous. Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Come see me live. Friday and Saturday, May 3rd and 4th, Sidesplitters in Tampa, Florida. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, Governors in Levittown, New York. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's at Gunkwit, Florida. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, Governess in Levittown, New York. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's at Gunkwit, Maine. Saturday, June 1, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass. Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday,

August 16th and 17th, Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia. Friday, October 18th, the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Friday, November 15th, Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. And the New Year's Eve back at, Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York, and the New Year's Eve back at the Tarrytown Music Hall in Tarrytown, New York. That'll be a doozy. Keep checking nickdip.com because this schedule will change. Obviously, I'll be adding dates throughout the year here and there when I can. So please check that.

Come see me live. I'll sell you a Nick DiPaolo shot glass and some plastic exploding shoes. Yes, Ryan? So I have some super chats for you, sir. Let me hear them, buddy. Okay, this is a mouthful. U.S. would Vlad them in the pee hole. You for greed, says debate Kyle Kulinski. Our economy is not good. Debate? What makes you think this is meet the fucking press? Our economy is not good? Really?

Well, unemployment's at record lows. Wages have risen. Quit watching MSNBC. It's stronger than it's been in a long time. It goes up and down. Do you understand that's how it works? It's a very fluid thing. As you speak, you might be right. It's not going to get great guns, but it's a hell of a lot better than it was under the fucking Marxist asshole,

only president in the history of the United States who never hit fucking, what, 3% growth, I think it was? Next. Patrick Doerr says, Lewinsky had horse teeth Did this guy and Bill have something in common Hmm She had horse teeth Yeah but she was alright You know what I mean

Bill's like sure I just close my eyes and Pretend that I'm at a parade After she blows me I throw a sugar cube and a couple of carrots. Don't cost me a thing. She had a pretty mouth. You got a pretty mouth. Her life's ruined.

Anything else? Chanel Julio says, If the limey horse lover loved jerking it to male horses, would that be worse? Who said he didn't? They just said horses, right? Who said, no, actually, he wouldn't. I mean, a horse is a horse for whatever the course of the fucking,

whether it has a vag or... Horses aren't known for their giant vaginas. They are known for their, you know, their giant vaginas. They are known for their, you know, their giant bleeps. Anyhow, speaking of the animal world, a woman's infection turned out to be bees living in her eye, feeding on her tears. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy, you guys.

Doctors treating a Taiwanese woman with an eye infection were surprised when they found four bees embedded in her eye. The 29-year-old Taiwanese woman named He. Oh, boy. That's actually her name. She's not like a transgender pulling that call me they we fucking him shit i don't think uh her name is he went went to fuyin university hospital they have terrific tapioca pudding there i had a foot infection when i was in taiwan uh in taiwan

after experiencing severe pain in her eye their doctor doctors found the bees feeding on her tear ducts under her swollen fucking eyelids. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears are unfathomable. Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen. And you can tell everybody. The hospital's head of ophthalmology, Dr. Hung Chi-Tang, fill in dick joke,

said at a press conference that such bees nest near graves and in fallen trees, so chances of coming across them while hiking in the mountains are high. I gotta worry about that, because I plan to bury my parents on a mountain in fucking Taiwan.

Break out the goggles. i was visiting and tidying a relative's grave with my family i was squatting down taking a pee on my aunt paulie's grave and pulling out weeds apparently they didn't get along uh he said meaning she at a news conference jesus assuming that sand or dirt had gotten into my eye, she said I cleaned my eye with water at the time. However, she started to experience a stinging pain and her eye would tear up constantly. You know, that's terrible. Now think about if you were white, Miss He, and you had big round eyes like me. They would have found them immediately. Nick, that's kind of right.

Well, you can't do a Taiwanese story about bees living in somebody's eye in Taiwan and not bring up there's a different shape. That would be fucking comedy neglect. This is a true story. My father worked with a guy. We used to rent his camp up in Maine. His name was George.

Don't remember his last name. True fucking story. Mosquitoes got up into his sinus cavity and laid eggs for like months. And his nose kept getting bigger and bigger. I remember saying to my dad, when the fuck did you start hanging out with W.C. Fields? He's got a, it was like a fucking, and they finally went in there. And a fucking whole nest of mosquitoes! And the same guy had an earwig crawling to his fucking ear!

That's where the insects climbed into this guy. His head was like a vending machine with Zagnut bars with no fucking wrapping on. The bugs were just crawling over this. That's a true story. The fucking earwig went in his ear in and his nose was like filled with mosquito lava.

Yummy, yummy. In my tummy. Anyways, during the press conference, Dr. Hong said, I saw something that looked like insect legs, so I pulled them out under a microscope slowly and one at a time without damaging their bodies.

You wouldn't want to kill something that got into your fucking eyes. The insects were later identified as sweat bees, which was a good group in the 70s. They used to open for canned heat. Dr. Huang explained to reporters that even though sweat bees do not attack people, they're attracted to the perspiration of humans. Sweat bees, also known

as helichidae, are small but not aggressive. Not aggressive? They set up shop in our fucking eyelid! What's your definition of aggressive? Jesus H. Christ Heloise! However, sweat bees are attracted to perspiration and have

a tendency to land on humans to obtain moisture and salts from their sweat. 20 girls like that too, by the way. They do. They like after you work out. If you don't smell like, you know, dog shit.

Your fucking testosterone, your hormones come out through your skin. Jason, I'm telling you. It's a true story. I'll have to start working out then. You do. You should work out. And when you get all sweaty at Jack LaLanne's or some other faggy place, you rip off your shirt and just fucking bump it up against broads. They'll come after you like you're wearing canoe or dracar. And it's 1971.

Crowd appalled when man pulls out gun to defend himself against attackers in Chicago. Video emerged Monday of a man drawing a firearm to defend himself against two attackers near Chicago's Magnificent Mile. That's not even in the bad area. Filmed from inside a McDonald's. Where else? The video shows two males, I would say black males, what appears to be a security guard

outside of the restaurant. The assailant slammed the security guard into the wall of the restaurant and grappled with him as he tries to free himself. This is just disgusting. But here's what I want you to notice. Somebody's filming it from inside a McDonald's. It's happening outside.

I just want you to make a mental note of when the people start to panic and they think it's a dangerous situation. No! No! No! No! okay okay isn't that funny huh everything was fine while the old white man was being triple teamed the double team by two fucking scumbags no no alarm they're just watching chewing on their mcribs or

whatever the fuck their quarter pounders or their 11 sandwiches for 12 cents uh no problem but as soon as the old white man pulled out again oh, oh, now it's a panic situation. Now they show alarm. And I'm sure MSNBC, ABC, CBS, I'm going to stop with the coffee. The teeth are getting very dingy. I'm sure you'll all be running that, right? All you fucking pro-gun control people be showing why you should have a gun and everybody should and people will be much more behaved.

I don't know how he restrained himself and didn't put a couple in their ass. You don't have to kill them. But the creepy thing in that clip is the response of the people filming it who had no problem, nobody went out to help the old guy, just watching him get fucking beat up

by two people an eighth of his age. But when he pulled the gun, oh no! Angry white male! That's how it'll be portrayed. You won't see it anywhere else. Maybe you might see it on Fox News or talk about it on AM radio. You're not going to hear about it or see it. Perfect example why

we should all be armed. Yeah, but it could go off and somebody could get wounded as they're getting a McSlurpee. The NRA, you should jump on that and you should make that commercial run it on a fucking loop. People inside the McDonald's, though,

had no problem. No, in response to the guy pulling out the fucking gun. The guy is just, he's had it with his scumbags. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore. As the attack has run off, the pepper spray can be seen rolling on the ground next to the man's feet. Somebody came out, grabbed the pepper, brought it in, put it on their thighs. That's a true... I'm telling you, it's right in the fucking story, yo.

That's a true... I'm telling you, it's right in the fucking story, yo! As he walks to the edge of the McDonald's property line with his gun still pointed at the two fleeing teens. Good for him. Good for him. Chicago police. By the way, you know, you should have... That was an actual... That's what a race crime looks like.

I know you still got Jussie Smollett on your mind. We don't have to fake it. They actually happen to white people. There's so many of them that, you know, Chicago police say no report was filed in connection with the incident. The man's identity is still unclear. You think the police are going to do anything for these little scumbags? After what Jussie Smollett did and pulled his shit, even the black cops are going, chalk one up a whitey here.

Police announced the arrest of 21 people. 21 people on Saturday afternoon. Not night. Afternoon in the Magnificent Mile area where the attack occurred. It's not like a bad area as far as I know. Things are just getting worse in chicago the ccwb reported chicago police are taking a less tolerant approach to handling what they call large group that's in quote incidents that will be um large black or brown groups yeah i just said it because if you don't believe me, you just can go online.

There's a zillion viral videos of people bum-rushing footlockers and bodegas and whatever. Large group internet. Large group internet. After more lenient strategies proved disastrous last year. So good for you, Chicago police. I'm a big fan. That's all I got to say. You know what I'm saying?

The cop says there's a serious problem. We have to stop it. We have a limited number of tools in our toolbox. Chicago alderman Brian Hopkins said of the new strategy to contain mobs, arrest is one of the things we can do, so we're doing it. Wow, what a novel idea. Giant groups of kids are surrounding innocent people

and beating the fuck out of them and mugging them. So guess what? We're going to start arresting people. How'd it go, alderman? How'd I be on top of it? Watch the ACLU and Southern poverty laws. Watch all the suits coming now. Should have fucking martial law in Chicago for the next 10 fucking years.

And again, that magnificent mile, maybe it's a bad area now. I don't know. The McDonald's adjacent attack comes in the wake of a weekend gun violence that saw 28 people hurt and three killed across the city. That's actually a slow weekend for Chicago. The gun violence issues in Chicago, which has some of the strictest, I'll repeat, the strictest gun control laws in the country, reflect national concerns about gun control in the U.S. Proponents of stricter gun laws say the bans could result in safer communities

while opponents point to examples of defensive use of guns like I just showed you as a critical constitutional right. Gee, who's right there? This whole fucking notion that if you got rid of every gun that the bad guys wouldn't find a way to get it is the silliest thing I've ever heard in my life.

I'm just sorry. That's why they're called outlaws. What else is going on, ladies and gentlemen? Here you go. I'll tell this story right after that story. This will make sense. California, again, the most retarded state in the union politically. I love the state and most of the people, but the politicians are just retarded.

They're fucking retarded. Headline, California weighs opposing plans to deter killings by police. It calls for them not to use lethal force unless it is absolutely necessary. Gee, I kind of think that's how the the laws read now down it don't they yeah they do um that someone's life is an image i'll say that again it calls for them not to use lethal force unless it's absolutely necessary that someone's life is an imminent danger said democratic moron assemblywoman shirley weber of san diego who wrote the bill that advocates hope will be a model for others.

Yes, let's let's model ourself on California where you can wade knee deep in dirty needles and fucking human feces in San Francisco. You can be stabbed in the ass walking through a bunch of tents filled with homeless people right outside of Anaheim. Let's model on what they're doing. There are other means and methods that could be used because you respect life. Oh, that's just a fucking naive, stupid... If I could, I'd grab this microphone

and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's what you deserve. That's what you deserve. It faces intense opposition, which I hoped it would, from law enforcement groups which are urging a different plan, requiring that every department have policies on when officers should use de-escalation tactics and other alternatives to deadly force. See, you're over, oh, there it is, Shirley Ann Weber, there you go.

Wasn't she on Sanford and Son? Did she play George? Or Grady? Fred! Fred, now don't do that! Fred! Fred, don't do that now, Fred! She's got Bill Cosby's nose, Richard Simmons'

hair, Ray Lewis' neck, Oh, Shirley, I'm sure you're a nice lady lady you're as dumb as your fucking haircut i'm sorry i'm just sorry about it the law enforcement bill enshrines current court standards in state law allowing officers to use deadly force where they have a reasonable fear of being harmed the stand that has made it rare for officers to be charged after a shooting

and rare still for them to be convicted, which is the way it should be. When you're out there every night putting your neck on the fucking line, you're in a dark alley with a gangbanger, and one of the cases they do, a kid pulls out a cell phone and points it, which is fucking suicide by cop. They mention that in this article. You have a split second as a cop to decide whether that's a gun and you're going to go, you know, you want to go home and see your family. What do you think? I think we should sort of, and again, they're out there protecting us every night. I think we should sort of give them the

benefit of the doubt. I know, you know, you, you know, it's hard when I hear of a crip or a blood being shot. He was on a, turned out he just had a cell phone or a salami sandwich in his hand. You know, but the law is fine the way it is, okay? And this whole notion that unarmed black men are being shot, we've debunked it a million times on the show. Cops have millions of interactions a year with civilians. Cops have millions of interactions a year with civilians. And it's like less than 1% end in shootings and less than half of 1% where the guy was unarmed. Yes.

Right. I got a super chat from Northern Jackalope. Okay. He says, Nick, can we ban the word community? For the love of God, I'm sick of it. I've been saying that for years, fella. I've been saying that for years because everybody has their've been saying that for years. Because everybody has their own community. But we don't have one big community.

We have the black community. We have the LGBTQ community. We have the Hispanic community. The queer, gay rights community. We have, you know, but it's true. It's a word that, that and healing. That one really gets on my mind. And the word wonderful.

I fucking hate the word wonderful. I've hated it since, it's the silliest sounding. It's wonderful. Ever say it slow? It's the most retarded. It's wonderful. I was wondered, but what the fuck? Never used it in my life.

How was the blowjob? It was fucking great. It was wonderful, Dave. Anyways, hundreds of chanting supporters of Weber's Bill March, just fucking dumpy, to the Capitol on Monday

wearing yellow American Civil Liberties Union t-shirts backed by a brass band. Supporters held three American flags listing the names of dozens of people killed in police shootings. Did you have a flag listing the hundreds of cops who have been gunned down in the last few years? Do you have that flag too?

No, you don't? You only care about one side of the argument? Huh? How many cops have died by scumbags that you're trying to protect? Anyways, Sierra Hamilton, a cousin of Deontay Yarber, a car theft suspect who was killed by Barstow police last year in a busy Southern California parking lot, said Weber's bill would allow that accountability. Yarber was shot after police said he struck two squad cars and nearly struck an officer.

Of course, the family says the car was barely moving. What does that tell us about policing in California and America? It's that black and brown people are not safe from state-sanctioned violence. That's what Hamilton said, whoever the fuck that

idiots and... No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Yet despite supporters' expectations in law enforcement affairs, Plumas County Sheriff Deputy Ed Obayashi, a use-of-force expert, called Weber's bill an exercise in illegal futility,

and it should be because he predicts judges will interpret the language the same way they do current court rulings. Exactly. Anyhow, it's fine the way it is. And when somebody gets killed, they're unarmed, and somebody gets shot in the back and there's clear evidence that there was incompetence by the police,

guess what? They go to fucking prison and they go to jail. Keep believing the fucking nonsense. It's all a fucking con game. The fact that the Democrats were lining up last week to suck Al Sharpton,

the biggest racist on the planet's ass, it's a con game. They'll never admit or acknowledge that they've made progress. And the cops do the best they could. Mark Furman said it best. Even Oprah put him on the show. This is what changed after the whole OJ thing.

Remember, he said the N-word over the radio and they were trying to paint him as a racist. And he went on and said, I spent every night of my last 25 years in black neighborhoods trying to protect black people, and I'm a fucking racist. When cops do wrong, most

of them will go to jail or prison. The system works fine. But don't make it so they don't want to get out of their cop cars, like they did in New York and Chicago, where they'll be, they were trying to pass legislation where the cop will be personally liable could be sued personally they did that in Chicago remember and it went through the roof crime because the cops

didn't want to get out of the car but you keep pushing it's fucking unbelievable anyways that is it for today remember Remember, ladies and gentlemen, go to cameo.com and I'll shoot you off a video to one of your enemies or your friends, whatever you'd like. Go to nickanddip.com for my dates. And you guys keep thinking it. I'll keep saying it.

My special A Breath of Fresh Air is being edited right now. So look for that soon. I will talk to you guys tomorrow on Patreon. Take care of yourselves, everybody. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ ¶¶ Outro Music