The Nick DiPaolo Show - Black Teen Behavior Inexcusable | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1898

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about White Replacement Theory at Nationals Game, Dr. Oz Exposes Fraud, Maryland Gov. Caught Cheating, Schlitz Gone, Black Teen Mobs and Grandmother Falls in Manhole!  The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow GET TOUR DATES & TICKETS - https://www.nickdip.com/tour NOVEMBER 5TH - The Punchline: ATLANTA, GA NOVEMBER 6TH - Rivers Casino: PHILADELPHIA, PA NOVEMBER 7TH - Soul Joel's: POTTSTOWN, PA MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

You get that little red beaver right up there and funny. I don't think it's crazy at all. Hi. Red Sox last night. Playing a very mediocre Kansas City team, but still, uh, was two to one going into the eighth or ninth? Sox put up like six.

Um, everybody's sat in a head like disposed to Roman Anthony. I don't know how long he's going to be out. He's fucking nowhere because of his wrist. Those things are tricky. know for baseball players. But their defense is insanely good. Last night,

Jaron Duran, who I, right before the game started, I said to my wife, I would trade this guy tomorrow. I fucking love the way he hustles. I love all that shit. But he fucking swings and misses too much,

strikes out too much. And I'm like, he's decent in the field. He made a play last night. After, after Raphael Saddam Rafael. Raphael said,

that fucking, some grease ball from Dominican Republic. You know, Ma. Sadian Raphael. He made, he made a play

going over his head. And then he already won a glow glove, Raphael, and so did Abraeu. He's already won two gold gloves. He fucking throws a ball from right field,

Dallas, not from short right field, not from a little deeper than mid-left right field. In the air to the catcher. to hold the guy at third. And then he threw somebody out at second, I think. He's already ahead of everybody as far as those new statistics,

defensive play, runs saved and shit. He's already fucking, their defense is insane. And that guy who can't hit a new third basement, he's hit like 178, he's fucking making plays out of his ass like he's Brooks Robinson. Like I said, they're one or two in defense and overall. They got that taken care of. The pitching has been tremendous. and they hit like bitches.

So anyways, why do you care? I don't blame you, folks. I just like to kill fucking time. I hate life. Gotta go have a fucking with this again. Jesus Christ. And my living's going. Did I tell you?

No. What the fuck else? Still working on the book, obviously. I'll be working on for a year probably. But I get that word counter app and I, you know, I did the thing and I'm up to like, What fuck did it say?

I don't know, 89 pages? I'm long-winded, apparently. I'm like, I'm right now about my first girlfriend in high school. And there's just a ton of shit in there. It involved football and me following around like a psycho for, you know, a month in school. And the pants used to wear the whole fucking high school would be buzzing. She just had a fucking nectarine for an ass. And she was my dentist's daughter.

A lot of good shit in there. And the first, I haven't even got to the first date. I'm 30 pages in, or 15 pages in. I haven't even got to the first date, which is, I took her to see a movie. A perfect movie for a girl, by the way. Paradise Alley, that's a wrestling movie that Stallone did. He wrote the book first, I think. I think it came out after Rocky.

Paradise Alley. Amina Sanchez in it. It's the worst thing you could ever bring. If I, if I, I could have brought her to a fucking, porno theater like Travis Bickle did and taxi driver. Remember he brought was it Jody? Who did he bring Jody Foster? Whoever, the girl he was hitting on him. That wasn't Jody

Foster, it was the other one. Remember he brings it to a fucking porno there in Times Square on the first day? I didn't know I thought you'd like. It would have been fucking, you know, so it wasn't for her number one. You know. Get in the car. I'm giving away there, but still, get in the car, I look behind me. Full lot, you know, I don't see anything.

Put it in reverse back. I'll bang. Right into some guy. When you had my, by the way, I had my license like two weeks. You know what I mean? It was one of those rookie mistakes. You know, now when you look, you check, you checked like four times. I just checked once ago.

There's nobody behind me. Bang! First date. She's in the car. I'm exchange of papers. This guy wants to rip my head up. That takes a half hour. This is a first date, folks. with a girl that I was dreaming about.

So after half hour exchange of papers, all that shit, guy was nice about he could tell I was fucking young and, you know, whatever. So we get back in the car, I go through the park a lot, I'm exiting the back of the mall, there's a road, you know, I'm pulling out onto that.

Some guy comes over, he's got to be doing 55, in a mall, in a mall, I stick my nose out. He comes this close. He had to cut his wheel. I didn't see him. He came fucking out of nowhere.

He fucking missed me by this much. And I'm like, what the fuck? We're walking. The girl goes, pull over, will you? So I pull out, right? Pull out, go through, get on to the, I take her right. Who's following me?

The guy that I almost cut off, or he almost, whatever. He's on my ass now, leaning on his horn. This is the first thing. I go, motherfucker. Here we go. I'm trying to ignore him. Finally, I pull over. He pulls over behind me.

I'm lifting weights. I'm in football shape. And I'm in no fucking mood after just having the fucking... It could have been a fucking gang member with a knife. I would have fucking... I get out.

He gets out. Lucky for me. He's about... I'd say about 6'1, but about 160 pounds. Blonde hair down to hair. Leather jacket. I'm the jock.

I go, this kid's going to get a fucking... He starts, you motherfucker, it starts walking towards me. I'm looking at his right hand because I always... He might as well have sent it Western Union. I saw it coming, ducked under it like a good wrestler, picked him up and body slammed him on the... I could hear how to him. And I started pounding his face in.

As the girl sits in the car terrified. Do you believe this? Fucking car pulls over. Two guys like my father's age had to pull me off. The fucking guy. And I wouldn't have fucking stopped, man. I was like so embarrassed. And I'm like, fuck, if this date's over, I'm going to lose your.

You're going to pay. But I was lucky. That could have been a 6-3-2-60. I would have been a dead man if he was as aggressive as this fucking punk. But, you know, so that was, this is my first date, folks. Get back in the car. I'm like, how you doing? We were actually laughing.

I go, this is going good, huh? Luckily, she had a sense of fucking, this is my dentist's daughter. and then we make it to a party one of her girl is having a party and you know fucking I'm there I'm sitting there everybody's having a good time I got my hand with ice

and a fucking I think it was a bag of frozen peas they put it. So that's I haven't even got to that yet I'm talking about now and when she turned me down and I finally get the balls off balls up to like three weeks to ask her out in the hallway and she fucking no thank you but you know

I appreciate but blah blah I'm like no problem you filthy cunt listen So he just broke Fucking took the wind out of me I went to practice that day And I was just unloading on people That weren't even looking And getting yelled out by the coaches

And fucking Oh my God And eventually she came around Like a few weeks later Yeah so they brought us up to Varsity And they happened to put my My picture in the paper And the Davis Herald

The local paper Saying De Pallo Varsity Bibbba And And yeah, and then about a week later I go to this place called the Topsville Fair. You know, people have fairs, county fairs. You know, we have it in Topsville, Mass, a couple towns over for me. And it was like an October night.

And I remember Nate Emerson, who knew her, who tried to introduce me to her at a party earlier. Anyways, he comes up to her. He goes, hey, guess who asked me about you? And I'm like, no idea, because I just got shot down. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, fucking Linda. He goes, I just ran into her. She took a picture out of her wallet or a purse of you in the paper.

See how you broads are? I'm a fucking nobody. Now I'm a fucking sophomore playing. I'm sure that got her voice. You probably know what it was. I don't know. Anyhow, but isn't that fucking interesting? And then she went out for a couple of years and she dumped me like a rock.

That even got interesting. I went up to UNH. I was at U Maine. I used to hitchhike down to see her. I would hitchhike at 11 below weather fucking three hours to see this girl at UNAH. And then like a year later, she breaks up with me. But I'm not, you know, I come home from U.Main.

I'm like, this ain't over yet at summertime. Or I was home for a break. And I drove to UNH from my parents' house and she's out on a date with some guy. Isn't that interesting? It's a good story. I was going to make something up about getting. in VD, but it never happened. I never had sex with her. I got it from a pit bull across the street.

All right, enough of this shit. I made a great chicken last night, Dallas. You know, everybody has what they call a brick chicken recipe. That's where you literally, you put it on a fucking hot skillet. First of all, you do the cock spatch thing. You take the backbone out of the chicken and you flatten it, you know. So I did that. And then you let your fucking, you let your frying pan, your cast iron skillet heat up to fucking like 800 degrees for 10 minutes and then you put it down on. And then you take another fucking pan

and put two bricks in the pan. You wrap them in tinfoil, the bricks and put it on top of the fucking thing. And then put it in the oven at 450 for like 20 minutes, then take it out and fucking flip it all. Holy shit. Mother of God.

This guy, Billy Parisi, he's a guinea, but he lives in an interesting. Indianapolis. But he's really good at these recipes that have been around for a while. That's my life, folks. I'll be dead so. Other podcasts are going, yeah, I had a threesome last night with these two horrors. I met the fucking barbershop. All right. Live, live line up, blah, blah, blah, blah, fucking rumble. Okay? Follow the channel. If you want, add free shit, go to Popeye's chicken. They'll get a fucking gizvigit for the fucking Nick Dip t-shirts.

Anyways, it's a live lineup. All this shows are free all day. If you want to watch a Madden Free, go to Rumble Premium. Don't forget my, follow my channel, download the Rumble app. Today I will be talking about all the shit I just did. Good night. White replacement theory at the Nationals game. Dr. Oz exposes fraud like you read about and fraud weekly.

We caught the governor, a black governor. I've had it with black people. I love you to death, but I can't. I'm tired. If a fucking chud the builder walked in here, I'd suck his dick. Google Chud the builder. You'll see who that is. That's a Tennessee guy with a mustache walking around.

Anyways, yeah, Maryland governor, black fella. Last name, Moore. Caught cheating in the election. Here's a sad story. The beer schlitz. Only you people my age and up are going to know. It was the first beer I ever get fucked up on. It's 175 years old, the brewery here name.

Schlitz. Well, they're saying bye-bye in a couple weeks. I used to stand up in the woods, and I was young. I told you, my brother-in-law's brother, a couple years old that I made, love to get me drunk because he was... As a fucking freshman, this guy was sauced

like 10 fucking... And somehow got away with it. He was a crazy motherfucker. I still fucking love him. We're up in the woods before like a high school basketball game. In the woods, it's wintertime. We're standing in snow so nobody can see. us mean like him and two other guys, friends his age, drinking schlitz, quarts,

32-ounce bottles. I finished that one and we went to the basketball game. I told you, I fell down the bleachers and landed on some guy's feet. I look up, it's my best friend Scott Grasick's dad. He goes, what are you doing? He must have been able to smell the fucking. Anyways, they're going out of fucking business. Is that in your book?

No. You're right. I need a few short stories. Well, you know what? You're right, because I was going, I did have a list of bulletpoint of drinking stories, and that ties into, I forgot about that one. But the one where I almost burned the house down.

When I got, I told this many time. I came home, drunk went downstairs. Oh, I'm going to watch the Johnny Carson Monterlaw passed out. I put Elyos pizza in the toast oven. Anyways, you almost burnt the house down. I got a few of those. All right, let's move on. Sign of the Times. Washington Nationals announced they have banned at least one fan for life from Nationals Park

for hoisting a banner calling for math. First of all, for life, for this. Banning calling for a match. The banner he held said they were calling for mass deportation and advertising a site called white replacement.org, which is a real thing, by the way. If you people keep an eye it, you're full of fucking shit. Even Tucker Carlson called it first and they get all over him. I'll tell you why, because it's about race the banner and it's got the word white in it. That's all it takes. It's all it takes is the word white for other white people who are fucking it up.

By the way, all this PC shit couldn't happen to you or me if it wasn't for these white lips. It could never happen in a million fuck. So just remember that. Anyways, the banner said, white. replacement.org. Okay, I understand maybe going, hey, take it down. I don't even really understand that, but take it down or whatever, but banning you for life.

You know what I'm saying? That's because it's race related and it's a white guy. The banner which was unfurled during the team's salute to service segment read, Save America, Deepwater 100 plus million, and also featured the website address white replacement. Dot fucking org. And here it is. Look at this asshole.

as they're playing some type of patriotic music. All right. Look at the dumb, I'll say it. I'm in the mood today. I told my doctor, I told the woman doctor yesterday, or whenever I went, and she goes, I go, I'm a comic.

She asked me, I do, really? I go, yeah, I have a podcast. I do four days a week, and I do some stand. And she goes, what, she takes a pen out. What, uh? I go, Nick Dip.com, and as I'm leaving, I go, oh, doctor. She goes, yeah,

I go, let me just warn you. Very salty language, you fucking whore. No. She goes, oh my God, I hope she's not working. Dr. Wynne, that was a joke, by the way. You were great in the hospital. She would show up at, she could be watching. She'd show up at 6 a.m. with her clipboard and start asking questions.

And I go, leave me alone. No, she was great. But I'm sorry, Doctor, the language, if you want. You're not watching. You're too busy. You're a doctor, for Christ's sake. Anyways, former January 6th rioter Jake Lang, he claimed responsibility. Oh, January 6th rioter.

Again, that was the worst riot and the faggiest insurrection ever to go down. Claim responsibility for the banner on social media. Is that him, Dallas? That's him? But the team did not confirm whether Lang was present during the game, nor did they identify the person banned. Well, why don't you, you know, when you do a report, can you dig a little deeper? You fucking.

However, Lange seemed to admit that he was one of those holding the banner. Oh, boy. Lank supports, listen, Lange supports the claim, you mean the fact that Democrats are importing millions of elite. How would you argue this? How could you argue this with a straight face? importing millions of illegal immigrants to replace white Americans so that voting trends will eventually create a prominent Democrat majority. Yeah. How could you fucking argue?

Anybody that said that. You are correct, sir. In a statement, the team said they vehemently, here comes, condemn discriminatory and hateful rhetoric. Where's the hate there? Where's the hate there? That's the other thing they've been doing

since tough crowd when they started going, you're a hater, you're a hater. And people believe that's hate. So my opinion, difference from yours on race, so I'm a hateful person. How about your fuck off and die in front of your family tonight? How's that for hate,

you filthy slit? Ooh, motherfucker. Firmamentally condemned discriminatory and hateful rhetoric, and we strive to make our home feel the safe space. Go suck a safe dick. Yeah, fuck. Sorry, Doc. Please, I hope she's not watching. Oh, my God.

The only safe space, and I've said this before, ever to exist on this planet, when And you left it at nine months. It was your mother's womb. After that, it's been a free-for-all. Wake up. Smell the cough.

Anyways. Yeah, so a safe space for our fans. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. God, I hope she's not watching. Dr. Wynn, they'll watch. Boys and girls,

I don't know why I'm plugging this now. It's 11 months from now. November 5th, the punchline, Atlanta, Georgia. November 6, the Rivers Casino in Philadelphia. November 7th, Seoul, Joel's and Pondon. Stompier. Those were originally supposed to be the beginning of this month and because of the tooth incident. I should say teeth. We moved them to November. Go to Nick Dip.com to get your tickets. Go to the merchandise page if you want to support this show.

Buy the Nick DiPaolo. Again, we have the bedpans, the plastic hips. And we got a new one, the fucking miracle ear. I just stole it. It's not even, I'm stealing the name and everything. hoodies and other fucking tuxedoes fucking patent leather shoes and faggy hats if you want to send a personalized video and i got let me let me address this i hope the crowders are watching i was trying to do a couple shutouts yesterday and sorry i would click on the thing they sent me you click on the link and it would ask me to sign in and then it would say verify we sent a number a code to your account to verify you got five minutes to put the code in

So I do that and says Code invalid. I've already had this problem for months. It's a good thing. I'm not blaming. I'm just saying. So I tried it about eight times. So then I lost my temper and I go to Darren and Steve Crowder on text. I go, I'm opting out of this.

And then somebody get upset at me. And, which is, you know, I wasn't going to opt on. I was just fucking pissed. So Darren Crowder goes, are you opting out of this? I'm not opting out of anything. I said, but I am going to dig up Steve Jobs' body. Fuck him

in the ass in front of his kids and then kill him again. Fucking cry. Ha, ha, ha, ha. About 11 fucking Crowder's dead. It's fucking funny as hell. Anyways, also, so if you want to send a personalized video, I'll say what you don't want to say to the person. Shoutout.us.

And it's a great thing. It's just technology-wise. I don't think it was my fault, but I'm just saying. Shit ain't ready for prime time. I'm talking about technology, not shout out. Let's move on, Dallas, before I start crying and shit my pants. Everybody knows you never go full retire. You want to make a bet?

In our West Coast stupid segment tonight, the federal government charged 73 members of an Armenian-American-organized crime. Hey, is there any countries not fucking us in the ass? for the last, I don't know how many years, and the Biden administration actually helped them. Armenian-American organized crime enterprise in 2010. We charged stealing $100 million from Medicare through Phantom California clinics.

I just said phantom like Daffy Duck. Good Lord. That was just the beginning. Now Dr. Oz, what a great name. How do you not become famous? Your last name's Oz, and Oprah liked you. Dr. Oz just announced 800 hospice, 800 hospice and home health providers, suspended statewide in California and reveal the one number that changes the entire Medicare debate.

800 providers. Here he is talking about it. A third of all hospices, a third of all these programs in the entire country are in Los Angeles. Ask yourself, how is that possible? Pause. Well, I said, as I said to Dallas, it makes sense, though, because see, Los Angeles, the state of California

is a socialist-slash-communist shithole already. And that's what... When you convert to socialism and communism, you know how it's never worked. It's exactly what happens. The few elite make all the money

doing shit like this to taxpayers. You become their sheep. We all live in mediocrity. Well, they live up on a hill in a gated house. It's already... It's already in place in California, is what I'm saying. Throw shit like this. Anyways, go ahead, Oz.

They're not that many people dying in Los Angeles. We're not talking about California, just Los Angeles. So Kim and the team, with Janina will go and a bunch of other great folks, went through the list of all the people, and we believe that at least half of the hospices in the entire area around Los Angeles are fraudulent. And today we announce 800 of those hospices have been suspended. That's getting us, you know, close to where we think we should be. 800 hospices that last year charged the federal taxpayer $1.4 billion.

That's your money. We'll no longer be paid. Okay. And Gavin Newsom is going to have the fucking nerve to try to run for president? After all this, on top of the palace agent, have you picked up on a pattern people living in California? That number is what happens, he said. When organized crime infiltrates a government program and the, the state government looks the other way for a decade.

But Oz is right in there. I'm going to find out what that hell happens here. Dr. Oz, the Trump administration's CMS administration, confirmed the suspensions this week, describing the alleged perpetrators as weaponized professional hoodlums who exploited every weakness in the system. That's how much money we have here and shit and how far ahead of everything, how much rich we are,

that other countries, it's not just Americans committing fraud. The whole world has taken advantage of it. I don't know how many years. And these aren't billing mistakes, the guy says. Federal investigators say foreign-linked criminal networks built entire fake hospice businesses in California. Fraudulent companies, enrolling patients who weren't dying, stealing their Medicare beneficiary numbers,

and billing the federal government for end-of-life care that was never delivered. Can you imagine you're in government and you have the boss? I got into government to serve the people. That's what they used to say. I don't think, they still say it, the people that are raping us. We want to serve you. The $1 billion in alleged theft is what investigators have confirmed so far. Oz also announced the administration has deferred more than $1 billion with a B in federal payments for the last quarter of audits while investigations continue. Los Angeles is the epicenter. West Coast stupid, I call it. Oz called it not rational, in quotes, that a single American city accounts for nearly one-third of all hospice

providers in the entire country. Yeah, that should set up a flag. His administration is already in the process of shutting down roughly half of them. Oz went on to say, if we could take out the fraud, waste, and abuse, listen to this. We would double the life expectancy of the Medicare trust fund. not extend it by a few years, not by it, you know, not by a little breathing room, you double it. Double the time your Medicare benefits

will be there for you, with no tax increases, no cuts, no government spending. Just by stopping criminals from stealing what was already paid by you, okay? And the people, remember, they were all upset when Trump was working

with, Elon Musk and Doge. Remember how upset they got? It's their gravy train. Good Lord. Let's stay on corruption, shall we? A headline more. That's M-O-O-O-R-E, folks.

More corruption from Democrats. President Donald Trump claims, oh, he claims, he claims a lot of shit, and he's always right, that Democratic Governor of Maryland has been caught in a massive scheme to rig the election, but the state's top election official called the claims misinformation. Are we ready to go to fucking war?

I have so tired of it, man. There's obviously one part of our government that just fucking trying to destroy the, you know, about 500,000 mail-in ballots were sent to voters of the wrong party, according to Maryland officials, but they cannot determine who received them so they're sending out entire new ballots.

How fucking stupid do you think we are? I hate Maryland anyways. Give us Joe Biden. Listen to Trump. 500,000 ballots, illegal ballots were sent out, and they were totally fraudulent. And then they said, oh, we'll pull them back. Well, they didn't pull them back. And they have 500,000 new ballots go.

So what happens to the original? Are they going to come in, and are they going to come in and infect our system? We're sending out more so we can have a half million fraudulent. I mean, a million. This was done by the corrupt governor of the state, Wes Moore, That's Maryland. I like to take a sample of black, the black caucus, black senators, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't get me wrong.

We have Clarence Thomas's. We have the last name of the guy Scott. There's black people in politics who are fucking on our side who are great. I'm just saying. But I'm talking about Democrats. They just hate this country with a passion. They'll throw the issue slavery in your face the minute you get into a discussion. And it's just, he allowed this to happen in order to make sure the Democrats win.

Officials blame a printing error. Problem. You're a fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White, onking jam rag, I'm keen Spunk Bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me. I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time.

That's my screen name, Spunk Bubble. Oh, my God. That's the name of my book. There it is. There it is. somebody changed my mind. Spunk bubble. Oh my God.

That's Australian for come jizz bubble. Officials blame a print in error, but the president called for an investigation into Governor Westmore because of the incident. Good. Have the FBI kick his door down at 4 in the fucking morning and go through his wife's fucking dildo drug.

In Maryland, they sent out a half million illegal mail-in ballots and they got caught. The president wrote that on truth social. The state board of election said in a statement Monday that there was no chance of fraud because of precautions already in place. You need to shut the fuck up. There is no risk of duplicate voting as a result of this issue, the statement read. Election officials have safeguards in place to ensure that only one ballot can be accepted. Can you imagine saying that with a straight face after the 2020 fucking

election? Can you imagine? Which, by the way, That's all going to come out. It hasn't yet, you know. They're finding all kinds of shit that went on in Georgia and a bunch of other states. TOJ's got their face in that, too. Every return envelope slash oath has a unique identifier to ensure that a voter can only vote one ballot. Yeah. SBE has implanted additional safeguards to ensure only the correct ballot is counted for any vote.

Yeah, what's your definition of correct ballot? Oh, one that's for the Democrat. Yeah. Suck a dick and die. The president called on the Justice Department to immediately investigate the alleged voter fraud. And they will. Genean Perel don't play, yo.

I need a beer. My brother, never got a dinner. You want to see great comedy, folks? Google Johnny Carson Fryer's Roast of Don Rickles. I stumbled over it online last night and fucking started watching. like 55 minutes. I go, I'll watch a few minutes. It was so good. The jokes are so good. And it's a roast, a Friars, an actual Friars Club roast in New York. It's in black and white.

All those guys are like 30 years old, except for Hennie Youngman. He was always 106, apparently. But the jokes are just so goddamn funny. And of course, Rickles is the center of attention. Anyways, I'm reminiscing, which is a good time to reminisce about the very first beer. They got me fucked up. I would say sixth grade, too. That might be the problem. Schlitz beer says so long, you guys,

again, my age, you remember Schlitt's beer? It was huge. The brewery's owned by PBR. It was 175 years old. One of America's once dominant beer brands is being discontinued after more than 175 years. Apparently, there's not enough

wokesters to drink this shit, ironically, like they do PBR. I should say, not, well, yeah, they are wokesters too, but what do you call them?

They live in fucking Brooklyn in Jewville. Yeah, those, yeah, I can't even fucking, you know, the people that wear

shirts ironically, like, uh, check them with the hipsters. Hipsters. Thank you, Dallas. Takes me in Dallas 40 minutes

to fucking, Schlett's premium, a bear brand that traces its roots to me. Milwaukee in the 1840s and was once amongst the largest breweries in the country is being put on hiatus parent company Papps Blue Ribbing Ribbing. Ribbing. You get jokes on the back of it. Confirm Friday after Wisconsin Brewing Company announced it would brew the brand's final batch later this

month. Give me a cake of beer. Look at it. I just love the way it's in the woods. Up behind the high school. Fucking 10 degrees. My brother-in-law's brother. It's a maniac. Fucking just a funny. To this day, I've been in comedy forever. Still the funniest person I've ever met.

And I don't mean joke funny. I mean just naturally a little bit crazy. Scott Bevin played you football with them. Just one of those people that's one in a million. You're like, this guy's legitimately. fucking he was pounding him like,

like I said, he was a couple years older me. He was probably an eighth or ninth. He was fucking up.

I'll just give you a Scott Bevin's story. In 1976 was celebrating the bicentennial. Right? Yeah.

All over the country. It was a huge thing. In my town, the whole town had been collecting things for bonfire and this big parking lot

behind this old high school, big dirt. They had been collecting shit for a bonfire for, for almost, almost the whole year, months.

Well, two nights before the actual celebration, somebody climbed up and lit it beforehand. Scott, him in the bus. That's my idea of fucking funny. I almost ruined the whole thing for the whole time. And I'll give you another one. I'm in the car with him. He's in the, he's in the passenger side.

We're going through town. there's a woman walking a dog I don't even see it he goes just pull over pull over to the right I pull over and I'm like what the fuck he puts down his window and there's the lady's dog taking a shit and he just goes and then we take off

very mature isn't it I never laugh so hard my fucking life and a few other things he got to fucking rest it at his own home I went over there once it's exactly 10.30 in the morning 10.30

he's eating fruit loops I go what do you got water in there? I taste it vodka vodka vodka and fruit loops folks this is just a few of the store maybe I'll have a chapter on Scott Bevin

still my favorite person of this day except for you mom these things are bouncing around in my mouth I'm like Nancy Pelosi sucking on her dentures during a fucking state of the union unfortunately we have seen a continued increase in our cost to store and chip

and have had to make the tough choices to play Schlitz premium on hiatus. Zach Nadal said that. He's the head of PAPS, blue PAP smears. There he is with a bad haircut. Oof. Anyways, any brand or packaging configuration that is put on hiatus is still, here comes the business, a cherished part of our history and hopefully our future. We continually look for opportunities to bring back,

beloved brands and customer feedback is important in shaping those discussions. Excuse me. So we've hired the girl that hired the Bud Light Tranny to reshape our brand. The Schlitts brand became famous for its longtime slogan. The beer that made Milwaukee famous. They changed that right after Jeffrey Dahmer did his thing. And was once the nation's largest brewery before Inhouser Bush took over in the late 5th. The company was originally found that in 1850 after August, wait a minute, there's always an August guy. And then it wasn't a,

in-house a Bush, didn't they have an August too? August Krug. That's a German fellow. Open a tavern brewery in Milwaukee. Hickham's another German fella. This sounds like fucking Hitler's a, Joseph Schlitz.

Later took over the business after marrying Krug's widow. Ooh. Who else did that? Didn't Tucker? Tucker. Hunter Biden. Remember? Brother Diden. Banged his fucking married his

help transform into one of the world's largest brands. Schlitz rose to prominence after the Great Chicago Fire. Listen to this. Here's how the world has changed. After the Great Chicago Fire in 1871, when the brewery, listen to the shipped beer to Chicago, as residents struggled to access clean drink, water. Would they ever do that today? Clint, Michigan, they'd be drunk for fucking 10 years.

It's a great joke. Write it down. It's in there. All right. It's mediocre, but fuck it. Isn't that funny? Oh, they can't get water. They should do that with little African kids over there. When we send water, clean water? Right? Send them a thing of Fosters. You know the big Australian cans. Wisconsin Brewing Company said it plans to brew the last schlitz at its Verona. Wisconsin. Wisconsin Brewery on May 23rd with a limited release scheduled for June 27th. Milwaukee area bars and breweries are also planning farewell events tied to the final batches. Bye, bye. I think you and I ought to get on a plane in Milwaukee.

And, oh, here's a commercial that I, this is 1977, I believe. Dallas made a good point. When you watch football games back in the day, you had to wait until they came back from a commercial to put the score up as opposed to. of that stupid thing underneath and all the other, any fucking, here's the commercial. Terry Gar. Excuse me, ma'am.

We'd like to take away their schlitz and have them try our beer. You want to take away their slits? It's Terry Gar. You want to take away their gusto. You're cute. Dumb but cute. You want to take away their slits, their gusto? You're going to end up a cornerstone in a high rise.

They're going to turn you into an off-ramp on the interstate. You don't have slits. You don't have gustav. You don't have gus. That was Terry Gar, who was an adorable, funny lady. David Ledman would have her on Christ. It felt like twice a month. She was just great.

And she's dead now. I forget why. I want to see she died of... She might have had cancer, like everybody else. Just, I don't know. Yeah, she was in young Frankenstein. That was one of her best roles. There you go.

There you go. She was really talented. She was really good. And she was funny on Letterman. I don't say that I'm going to, you know. Let's move on to chipping out. Who made that famous? Well, Chut the Builder.

C-H-U-T-The Builder. He's a guy that streams him going into, you know, Nashville into black neighborhoods and dropping the end bomb and daring them to fucking come at him. And finally somebody took a shot. I talked about it yesterday. So I think he's in jail right now.

More than 400, Tina. But this is what he's talking. about when he uses the word chimping out. More than 400 teenagers laid siege on Lakeside Park in upstate New York during back-to-back broad day, broad daylight teen takeovers, prompting security increases ahead of Memorial Day weekend. We just had the fucking, you had that brawl in D.C. in the restaurant, that ticked it off.

And then there's a couple other states where this shit has gone on in the last couple days. We have to live like this for really? So anyways, they're increasing security ahead of, I keep forgetting this weekend's Memorial Day weekend. Horrified parents and young children fled the Ontario Beach Park in Rochester on Sunday as a mob teeming with hundreds of unruly black kids. I'll say it because they won't on TV. They say youths, teens, which isn't fair to the whites and the Asians and the Asians and the, Indians and the Eskimos and the retarded and the cripple. Black youths for the most part.

And this is what they do. When they show a clip, they'll go through frame by frame to find one where you might see a white kid. And if they give you a still photo, they'll always have a white guy in the picture. I take notes on this shit, okay? So don't argue with me. A mob teaming with hundreds of unruly youths flooded the parking lot. The brawlers milled around the parking lot and appeared to throw punches at

random. They didn't say at random people. As several full-on fights broke out, and if you don't believe me, take a look. This is some of the video here, sent in by viewers, witnesses claiming dozens of people were involved. Oh, people.

What kind of people? Fleeing to safety. And what color with the people panicking? Well, with parkgoers and business owners. It isn't. Business owners aren't fucking cherishing these moments. Look at this. I'm black y'all

and I'm black you're blacker than black and I'm black and I'm black y'all do you have to live like this? It's never going to get fixed I might as well give my little spiel now because we can't even say the word black when they're reporting the shit

on the news in the newspaper. They won't say black youths, black teens. Well we can't. There were two white people out of the out of the 3,000 people. That's how they justify, you know. Yeah, they were running from the fucking.

But you can, How can you solve a problem that you can't even address honestly? You can't. And that's somebody's plan. Crowds gathered around each fist fight, all while bystanders carefully stared their cars through the park and to reach an exit that wasn't blocked by, oh, this wasn't blocked by, folks, listen to the words,

hooligans. Do you know what a hooligan is? A hooligan is a white criminal in England. Hooligan is specifically used in the UK. Hooligans. That's not a fucking accident either, that they chose hooligans. A hooligans just a white thugent. Only they don't even act this bad.

Describing a whole black meetup on social media as hooligans. Several teams were thrown onto the concrete and jumped on. You know, luckily they were just fighting with each other. They like to mix it up. I don't mind watching that shit, but others were slammed against parked vehicles as the aggressors continued to wail on them. I wonder if there were any white victims. They're not going to show you that. So you're never going to know.

That looks like, is that a white cop right there, that woman? I don't know. Hours earlier, several brawling teenagers were ejected from the city's annual lilac festival at Highland Park, just 18 miles away from Ontario Beach. The mob returned to Ontario Beach on Monday and started clashing again. Nice going, cops. How to get ahead of it. Both throngs appear to begin the night at the park's gazebo before inevitably spilling over into the parking lot. This would be a great opportunity. Oh,

let me read this because I go to the comment sections after articles like this in the New York Post and this guy is always there when it's a racial thing you know involving blacks and it makes me laugh every time he goes just picture you're reading all these things you know white people say racist shit and they have a right to with this type of behavior then this guy will come on

you'll read a big big law this would be a great opportunity to pause for a moment and give thanks for the great contributions of the black community to our society. Their peaceful and generous nature makes them ideal neighbors, lending testimony to their exceptional family values and parenting skills unrivaled by any other culture. Their commitment to academic excellence enriches our schools and serves as an example to all who hope to achieve prominence as a people.

Real estate values are fueled by the nature of their addition to any neighborhood, an example of all they have achieved through their enthusiasm for self-improvement by hard work and a self-reliant can-do nature. Without their industrious and creative drive, we would be poorer as a nation. Oh, my God. He should be writing for Trump. I, you know, folks, again, black people. I try, I try, but at some point, man.

And again, like I said, I'm almost mad at the 2% of black people that behave and love this country. You ruin it for the other 90-8%. We can't shit on the other 90% because you guys. You know what I mean? We have to go, no, there's some good one. Anyway. Anyways, Shud the builder.

C-H-U-D, the builder. They got him on attempted murder. I told you, the bond is through the roof because he's a white guy. It is creepy what's going on. Finally tonight on your sister's moles. Maybe not finally. I don't know.

no idea how long the story is. Hole in one. A devoted mother died in every New Yorker's worst nightmare after she dropped into a manhole in Manhattan late Monday, desperately screaming, I'm dying as she waited for help to arrive.

I want to believe in God, folks, and I know you guys do. Most of you is a conservative, but this is where I fucking, this is where I get jammed up. He had a plan. Well, nice, nice plan. Called their home.

Well, text her. I know about manholes, by the way. I used to put them in when I worked for construction company. That was my summer job in college. I mentioned it on this show, O'Brien Construction, and they would do work for con ed and other city municipalities. And we had to put in, you know, I'm in a hole with a jackhammer. Fucking, I mean, deep.

I can see how, you know, you might not survive. As she waited for help to arrive. Excuse me. answer. Donique, again, this is why I'm for no diversity. Donique, go G-O-C-H, C-J-J-J-J-J, D-E-O-J-J, D'I-G, let's call him Duny-G-56. Oh, that's the woman. Okay, I want to try to get it right. Donique, go judge. I don't. Anyways, 56 years, that's her, poor lady plummeted about 10 to 15 feet down into the uncovered utility hole near east 52nd Street and 5th Avenue after she got out of her parked Mercedes-Benz Dallas made a great point out of all the fucking places in the world you could park she happens to park feet from this hole that's uncovered

people go well her time was up yeah well what if she's sitting on a plane next to me and her time's up She was just in the hole screaming that she was dying, said Carl Wood. Thank you. Finally, they found a white guy to talk. A bystander who watched as the horror unfolded around 1120 p.m. in the front of the flagship Cartier store. I know right where it is from them red awnings. Here's the video of the conhead.

This is after, of course, fixing the hole, I guess. But go ahead. Are they still looking for her? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? When I lived in Manhattan, a fucking manhole,

every once in a while a manhole cover would blow from the steam, would build up for some reason, and would blow, and you know how heavy a manhole covers? Would blow the fucking thing 30 feet in the air. Somebody got killed by one when I first moved there. Can you imagine? The open Connet maintenance hole was just feet away from the SUV's door,

recalled her ex-husband. No. a fire safety specialist on his way to work who said he sprinted over and called 911 as the lady screamed for help from the bottom noca whatever her name is miss g haunting screams had stopped by the time the fdn y emergency responders arrived well how long did it take you to get there at least somebody tried to help they pulled her unconscious unresponsive body from the hole

restor to New York Presbyterian Wheel Cornell Medical Center where she later died from her injuries. On the positive side, her family's going to be filthy rich, but that doesn't really matter. The freak incident remains under investigation with several lingering major questions, including exactly why the manhole was uncovered.

I'll tell you why, 14 homeless guys are trying to gang bang the hole. A representative from Con Ed said a passing truck seems to have dislodged the manhole's cover. Less than 15 minutes before Goce arrived and parked along the avenue. Now you go, 15 minutes, that isn't very long. It's fucking forever in a place that's that populated, dense, dense. You know, there's a fucking million people per block walking around.

Surprise somebody didn't. I just saw a story. I didn't put it in here today. Again, is there anything good going on anywhere? a guy in his late 20s, he's a father had two kids, maybe 30, I forget. Somerville subway station, Somerville's a suburb right outside of Boston. Part of his clothing gets caught an escalator and strangles him. And they have it on video, people seeing him caught in the fucking thing.

So taking the stairs and going by him. So we're like China now. We used to make fun of China. They do that. In China, if somebody gets it by a car, they just keep going. Because this is a billion of them, I understand. So they have video. People are looking down and going, fuck that, and going around.

And it said, like, strangled them for like 20 minutes or some shit. And there's a button at the top, and there's an emergency button that nobody hit. Fucking humans. As Bill Hicks said, we're a virus with shoes. We have reviewed video footage from the area which suggests that the cover was dislauged after a multi-axil truck turning on a 52nd street from 5th Avenue drove over it. Approximately 12 minutes later, the person involved in the incident parked her car nearby. Talk about unlucky.

Good Lord. Is that her car? Probably, right? And that's where it was? The hole is right. How the fuck did she opens the door? Takes one step back and, I guess. And she was by herself?

they're like no her husband he took off in the car laughing his balls up anyways God bless rest and peace lady nobody deserves that another reason to get out of New York unbelievable well that is it

they'll blame it on Trump by the way that is it for today don't forget Cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative go to Cameo.com and as far as shoutout dot us I am still on there

And I suggest you go to it because it's like cameo. It's great. And I was a little frustrated. Thinking I'm about quitting the show. No, that's all I got. All right. That's it. I've talked enough.

I can't stand myself. My teeth have fallen out. My ass hurts. Sounds like a good date in the village. Wow. You guys thinking I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here.

Tomorrow, the final day of the week. Is that right? We'll see you that. Have a good rest of the day. Hi. Good night, everybody.