The Nick DiPaolo Show - Black Violence Ubiquitous! | Nick Di Paolo Show #1529

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Parade thugs, NBA thugs, a black hole and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 I'm going to take a wicked shit. Hi, folks. That wasn't me. I didn't. But I have been in about three days, if you guys are keeping track at home. me. I didn't, but I have been in about three days of you guys keeping track at home. Speaking of keeping track, I don't know if I talked about this last few days. I get that one of those apps that tracks what goes on while you're sleeping, and I'm a hot mess. I used to accuse my, well, I used to accuse my wife because she snores like a truck driver.

I mean, literally, I could hear her downstairs when she's upstairs. And I'm in my own room downstairs. No. But I could literally hear her, you know, because she has a, and she's got like sleep apnea. So I was always busting her balls. And the last few years, she goes, you're snoring like an animal. I get the fuck out of here. And I get this thing, yeah, it fucking lets you track what goes on while you're snorting like an animal. I get the fuck out of here. And I got this thing.

It lets you track what goes on while you're sleeping. It records you. It recorded me farting two nights in a row. That's normal. But I had like, the first night I recorded, I had seven sleep apnea incidents an hour. And you get to play and listen to you, it was like 12 recordings of me going, and, and it tracks light sleep, deep sleep, which I always, I've been saying, and my wife, too, I could sleep 12 hours, I wake up, I'm exhausted, And I'm going, because I know that's not quality sleep. So I track it.

And I'm in light sleep. I'm in quality sleep for an average of like 14 minutes out of the six and a half hours I'm sleeping. But they say light sleep is fine too. So they're like, it's sufficient. And here's the statistic I read that made me laugh today. They talk about deep sleep, and they list the countries, average deep sleep. And, you know, most of them are like two hours, two hours and 15 minutes. Ghana, it said 16 hours of deeps. What? First of all, it's got to.

Could have been Detroit. Anyways, it's pretty fascinating. It's called shut-eye and gives you the average. And what happens is you do it over like a week, and then they'll give you a number, like rating you, what you need to work on and it's pretty interesting. But Jesus, am I making noises.

And even it says noise and like external noise. There's one where I can hear birds chirping. As long as it's not reading my dreams. Oh. Those involved, you know, Megan Fox, can of silly string a dildo and kevin mcgillicuddy and kevin mcgillicuddy how the fuck did you remember that he actually listens to the show kevin

all right let's get to it it's pretty pretty cool. All right. Where am I? What am I doing? How do I do this? Oh, yeah. Oh, where is it? Where's my fucking... You know what? What?

Did you take it off? Oh, I got it. Leave it on. And you know why that is, Dallas? I took a goddamn, you know what, Advil PM last night. So I was thinking I was going to have a ton of deep sleep. No, not the case.

But they say it's sufficient. I'm sleeping sufficient. Bullshit. I don't feel it. Look at my attitude. Sucks. Yeah, it's true. I was going to say that you beat me to the punchline.

All right, here we go. Sorry, kids. Okay. I was going to say that you beat me to the punchline. All right, here we go. Sorry, kids. Okay. Two adults charged with Super Bowl parade shooting. Jesus, the mystery around this one. And everybody's saying it now. Everybody's saying, wow, it took a while.

You know, this isn't the first time they've told us that they were black, but it took a day or two before they told you. And again, Ann Coulter, God bless her, was on Bill Maher going, if they were white, we would have known who did it. And Bill Maher and whoever the lip jerk off goes, well, we don't know who it is yet. And she goes, yeah, you do, because if it was white, you would have known already.

Can you imagine? They don't even understand that. And then even Kyle Rittenhouse went on some show and said, they didn't waste any time putting my name out there. Yeah. In self-defense. He saved his own life. And you and he was the bad guy.

Fucking left. I have had it, man. Two adults were charged with murder Tuesday, if you want to call them adults, over the terrifying shooting at the KC Chiefs Super Bowl parade that left one dead. Twenty two others hospitalized. A lot of them children, by the way. What a fucking... You fucking people. What do you mean? That's what I mean. Dominic Miller,

18, and Lindell Mays. Yes, he looks so much different than all the other suspects in shootings across the country. White people, you're racist. You say they all look alike. Nobody with that haircut's ever done any good, I said that. I will give this kid this much.

He admitted, he goes, he sort of just came clean. He goes, I pulled the gun first, and I was just being fucking stupid, and whatever. Anyways, both face charges of second-degree murder and two counts of armed criminal action and unlawful use of a weapon. Where are the parents? Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Probably the father.

They are being held on $1 million bond. Again, if it was New York, they'd be out already. A verbal altercation occurred and gunfire broke out with no regard for thousands of other individuals in the area. Miller and Mays had no prior connection before they encountered one another at a parade on Valentine's Day, prosecutors confirmed at a press conference. But when a heated argument broke out between the strangers, it quickly escalated. I don't know what you're smiling at, Watermelon.

Uh-oh. And there she wrote. Uh-oh. And there she wrote. I say I have this thing. It's called the three black guy rule. More than three black guys within five feet of each other is going to be a problem. Whether they know each other.

I should say when they don't know each other. Mays allegedly drew his weapon first. And almost, several others, including Miller, brandished their own weapon. It was Miller's weapon that fired the bullet that killed 43-year-old Lisa Lopez Gavilan, a mother of two. Can you imagine some kids that don't have a mother? The charges come just days after two teens were slapped with a gun and resisting arrest charges. Those are different people, by the way. The teens were charged as minors, but officials have said they could be upgraded to adults in the coming weeks. I wouldn't hold my breath.

In addition to the fatal wounds, Gavilan suffered 12 children were injured in the hail of bullets. Of the victims ranging in age from 8 to 47 years old. Imagine your father taking your son to a... One was left in critical condition. Two were reported to be improving. As of the weekend, they moved to a white neighborhood. What? It is a white...

Both Miller and Mays have been in the hospital themselves since their arrest. Listen to this. This isn't in the story, but I read it today. The mother of Mays started a GoFundMe page for the tragedy her son went through. She put a picture of him all hooked up in tubes and shit. The guy who started this whole thing.

They said they had $100 so far. Though the nature of the injuries remains unclear. Yeah, why are they in the hospital? You know what I mean? They didn't say they got shot. I think he did by one of the bullets that hit him in the hospital? You know what I mean? They didn't say they got shot. Well, I think he did by one of the bullets that hit him in the cheek. Is that what that was?

I thought it was a pimple. Their relationship, okay, he's got a bandage on his cheek. He's got to be in a bed hooked up to tubes? Yeah, I know. Come on. Their relationship, they know how to use AI, those guys. Their relationship to the two miners charged also remains unclear as far as their relationship with the older fellas, you know?

This week is, this last couple weeks, and this is a media, keep in mind folks who will bury black violence, they make a, an effort to bury these stories. But there's so many of them, they can't. They spill out thanks to Breitbart and other, you know, who report the truth. The biggest lie in this country is about race because it's the most effective way to divide us apparently. That, and you know now gender and shit but and the other thing about this story the mayor came out and questioned the governor i i'm guessing the mayor was black i'm going out on a limb yeah and and the governor is white, I think. And the mayor was upset because the governor used the word thugs,

which is a racist dog whistle the mayor said. That's what the mayor's worried about instead of what happened at the parade in general. That's where we are. God damn it. Stop it. Cocaine up. Hey, guys, in the second half of the show, I've got a couple of good stories for you.

I'm going to be talking about a shocking example of government overreach that happened in Indiana with parents and their kids. It's creepy, even for today's standards. Also, I'm going to tell you about Elon Musk and his latest project and whether we should be excited or shit in our pants.

This guy's going too fast for me. He's so goddamn smart. It's all exclusively on Mug Club. Where do you get that? Well, you go to nickdip.com and sign up. And a lot of people are. I got the numbers. Things are picking up.

It's beautiful. Beautiful. Anyways, thanks to you guys it is. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you

soon. Let's move on to some more black violence, only of a different nature. It doesn't include guns because, again, it's on a basketball court in the NBA. But if they could carry guns, Again, it's on a basketball court in the NBA. But if they could carry guns, there would be some serious flagrant follow. So let's put it that way. The NBA. I didn't write that. Somebody else did.

Yeah, well, my cousin was in. Men's basketball is dead. This is written by Whitlock, by the way. That's great. Whitlock, Jason Whitlock, who is black, by the way, and is one of the best writers on race that you can find because he's smarter than all of us put together. Men's basketball is dead, and he's talking about Silver, who is the current commissioner for the NBA.

He says, cannot resuscitate what his predecessor, Commissioner David Stern, killed. Bye-bye. I don't mind. I haven't watched this shit since Bird retired, and for the reasons you're going to hear about in this. I can't watch a league where I know the people playing it despise me and everything I stand for.

The modern, non-competitive, woke NBA, again, this is Jason Whitlock, I love him, is a byproduct of globalism. In pursuit of more and more money, the NBA scrapped its American identity and values. I think this is Whitlock. There's another guy. Yeah. It turned itself into a platform for the expression of anti-American sentiment, entitlement, victimhood, and narrative

over authenticity. Could you put that any more beautiful? The NBA's marketing strategy the past 20 years has been tune in to watch LeBron James and other tall black men overcome racism they never experienced. Bing, bang, bong. The marketing is not just a turnoff to conservative sports fans. No, it's much worse than that. It convinces the players they're victims. But this goes on on a societal scale. This is the least of our worries. And it's why the left is so fucking evil.

It creates a sense of entitlement among the alleged competitors. We ain't partners. We ain't brothers and we need friends. How do you go from Michael Jordan playing all 82 regular season games in nine of his 15 seasons to having to beg players to play 65 games? You create an anti-American culture that seduces multimillionaires into believing they're victims of racist capitalists. Can't make it up.

The NBA's desire to be popular in China baited the league into embracing messaging that denigrates American culture. The Chinese Communist Party, CCP, no different from Cold War communism, loves to promote that America is a bastion for anti-black racism. And they do. China lays it on heavy. Yet they do commercials. Remember I showed you that Chinese commercial that was so racist? Chinese girl doing laundry and a black guy pops out of the washer or something and she

tries to put him back in. It was fucking brutal. Every time LeBron James claims American black men are hunted like animals, which was disproved, by the way, recently by a guy named Fryer, black guy at Harvard, Economist of the Year, we told you about yesterday. His popularity in China soars, LeBron, every time he says that, and his attitude towards American sports fans diminishes. He looks happy. The players routinely beef with the fans. routinely beef with the fans. I don't mind that, though.

I'll be a hypocrite. Well, I liked when they went into the, Pistons went into the stands and started spanking. I think somebody threw something. But after that, you do, you see. And instead of just ignoring them, you're millionaires. And the players are routinely, because they hate Whitey. And the majority of a live audience is white at an NBA game. The players instruct security to toss fans from the arena because, again, they don't like free speech. Michael Jordan felt the

duty to serve and entertain fans. Modern players struggle to tolerate fans. And where are the white women at? He's right on. The players are elites. They look down on the very people who love them. The players believe the fans owe them. They do. It's perfect. It is perfectly written. And it goes on and on. And again, let's not be surprised because that's a microcosm of what goes on

on a macro level in our society. Biden and people like him and the Democrat Party has been hammering this lie home forever, and it's become the truth. And it couldn't have got this far without the help of white progressives perpetuating it and defending it. It's gross. Think how beautiful this country could be if we were. And again, I live in Savannah here, 60% black. And you see that it's an effort by the elites to keep us out of it because we're fine. Seriously. I have a black lady calling me sweetie every time I go to the supermarket. Yeah, I pinched her ass, but I can't help it, you know, them black asses. Anyhow, so well written, and by a black fella. So let that sink in.

Can you imagine if Biden was watching the show? Well, he'd be facing the wrong way. But he could learn so much from us. Speaking of black, headline, Black Hole Sun. Pretty good, huh? Black Hole Sun. And it's astronomers, here's another science one, have discovered what may be the brightest object in the universe. And I'll give you a hint. It's not me.

Hmm. A quasar with a black hole. Have you ever had a quasar TV? That's what they used to have quasars in. A quasar with a black hole at its heart growing so fast that it swallows the equivalent of a sun a day. No, I'm not talking about Oprah. Are you interested in the real story? That's fucking beautiful.

God damn it, I was looking for this. Fucking Advil PM. The record-breaking quasar shines 500. Okay, here's where the numbers come in. If you guys know what a light, I think they explain it in the article, how long a light year is and how far. It's the speed of light, which is what, 186,000 miles a second. Now think of all the seconds in a year.

Which is what 186,000 miles a second now think of all the seconds in a year So you multiply 180 hundred 86 thousand times whatever that is in a year and they're saying it's 500 Later on the article that says it's like 500 million light years Oh, I can't even and there's a comedian Nate Bergazzi who's really good really funny dude doing great and he should be He's got a bit I just heard on the radio about scientists and how, he goes, they can make anything. Nobody's going to check their work.

You know? Who's going to? Who are you going to question? How do you check it? Going to do your own research? You're outside looking through a paper towel? Fucking, that is no hundred million. The record-breaking quasar, listen to this, folks,

shines 500 trillion times brighter than our sun. I don't even know how to. This is where I want to believe in God, but nobody could have made that. Not even Elon. 500 trillion times brighter than the sun, but they say if you use sunblock 41, you'll be fine. The black hole powering this distant quasar, these numbers just, I lay in bed, it'll make you mental, is more than 17 billion times more immense than our sun. The black hole that powers this is 17 billion times more immense than our sun, an Australian led team, oh, they drink over there all the time, reported Monday in the journal Nature Astronomy.

While the quasar resembles a mere dot in images, scientists envision a ferocious place like Cleveland on a Sunday night after Brown's loose. The European Southern Observatory spotted the object J0529. Give it a name. That's so mean. What's it, an inmate? Dash 4351 during a 1980, that's when I graduated high school, sky survey. When I was born. Oh shut up. What a fucking, but it was thought to be a star. And you blew it! You blew it.

They always thought it was a star. Same way, like, you know, we thought the guy in Porky's was going to be a... I brought that up. You know, it's funny. I referenced Porky's. And I get up today and I read yesterday, the guy that played meat in Porky's.

Died. Healthy 64-year-old guy, but he wasn't healthy. Haven't you done this before? Done what? Say something or reference something and then somebody dies from that thing. Yes. Oh, God, I'm a killer. Trust me.

I killed Billy Mays. That was my best one. I was on stage. Still remember, down in Florida. The club closed, and they didn't even send me a check. They tried to, I was the last guy to do the club. And we got the money. Tommy sent a couple of goons down. No, I wasn't even with Tommy.

Well, was I? No, I was with Tommy. Anyways, yes, Billy Mays, the guy that used to get stains out of T-shirts and shit. I go, this fucking guy, when's he going to die? I wake up the next day. I have about 48 messages. One of them from Joe List, my opener, going, you killed Billy Mays. And who else did I kill?

There's another one that wasn't long after that. And I said, can somebody get me to work with Rosie O'Donnell? Further analysis shows the mass of the black hole to be 17 to 19 billion times that of Oprah's anus. Good night, everybody. What? According to the team. More observations are needed to understand its growth rate.

Yeah, you guys stay on that. Get back to us. We got our own problems down here. We got a black hole called Chicago. The quasar is 12 billion, folks. Listen to this. 12 billion, 12 billion with a B, light years away. And again, do the math, 186,000. That's miles in one second. Time the number of fucking seconds in a year times 12 billion how, Dallas, how are they

somebody has to, I gotta go there people don't believe in the moon landing, which I do but this shit, I'd be questioning this first for Christ's sake, I got reading glasses I can't see the goddamn book in front of me. These fuckers are 400 billion galaxies away. The quasar is 12 billion light years away.

Has been around since the early days of the universe. A light year, here you go. They did the math for you at the end. A light year, folks, is 5.8 trillion with a T, miles. One light year, 500.8 trillion miles.

And they're saying these things are 500 billion light years away. Who's making the equipment? I can't get a goddamn microwave that works for more than, are you sucking it? Holy fucking moly. Hey, guys, I gave you a couple extra minutes because I love you. For those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second

half of my show. The rest of you, ladies and gentlemen, go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club. You're going to get my full show and the best show on the internet, and it proves it with the numbers he gets, Stephen Crowder's whole show, which is worth it in itself. But under the Mug Club banner, you get Alex Jones on Fridays,

very funny Brian Callahan, the Hodge twins. They're adding more. And again, why isn't Rumble mentioned in here somewhere? It's all on Rumble so we can say shit, whatever we want to say so far. I don't know how that works before they stick their nose in. Somebody said they're sniffing around already. But anyways, go to nickdip.com. And again, you can watch these shows in their entirety.

Also check, again, I got one date. I just had a discussion with Tommy yesterday, who is my manager slash agent. And I said, Tom, what are we doing here? We're at almost 500 tickets already for May 11th date. So I think if you can find me one theater a night, five to 700 seats would be safe right now. Let me remind you folks, I'm 62 years old. That's why I took six months off from stand-up or whatever the fuck.

I don't even know if it's been that much, has it? Anyhow, just like me though, I'm too tired, my bones and hips hurt, and now I'm going to get big? Give me a break. I love it. Who's kidding? I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else

No, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else

I'm not like everybody else