The Nick DiPaolo Show - Black Waukesha Scumbag Sentenced | Nick Di Paolo Show #1297

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

Musk In Twitter HQ. NJ Lawyer Calls Out Parents. Katy's Eye Malfunction. Brooks To Rot In Prison. Bloody Wedding. China's Robo-dog.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take a moment and share today's show with someone who appreciates free speech and great comedy and good looks. And who wants to see Donald Trump back in office where he should be right now. guitar solo It's freedom, baby, yeah. What up, folks? Final day of the week, huh? Beautiful. Well, for us, you guys, you got to go home and, you know, kids are fighting and throwing food at each other and, you know, you can listen to your wife's shit and then go to bed around nine because you're wiped out.

Then you get up and do it again, but not me. This is why you sell drugs in high school. You get a nice nest egg. What? I'm kidding. Great to be with you folks. Honestly, it's kind of a non-eventful evening, I think. What was it? What was last night? Wednesday night? Yeah, I panicked. I came home. There was no baseball on. The Bruins were off.

I get in a fucking, I'm like, you know, a fucking heroin dealer. I mean, a heroin addict who doesn't have a fix. I get all sweaty and shit, and I'm tossing and turning on my bed. My wife's like, what's the matter? I was like, I can find he his bowling. It's really ugly. No, but I did my gut-fell work, and I'm helping him punch up his book. I work, folks. I work for my money, just like Donna Summer did when she was a whore. She worked hard for her money. Anyways, that's all I got. Did I eat last night?

What did I eat last night? Oh, God. I have a bad habit now of going to a bar in the afternoon, having a couple, and then Publix is on the way home. I pull over and get a steak now. I've had three this week. I don't know if that's good for you, but... We did two racks of short ribs.

Quit bragging. Two racks. He did two racks of... Does that count Gianna's rack? No, we each did one. But we did a glaze that we put over instead of barbecue sauce. It was this awesome pineapple shrub that we made. Oh, God.

I went down on a girl with a pineapple shrub from Hawaii. Pretty sweet. They call it poi. Pineapple shrub? I've never heard that. I've heard of a chutney. Anyway, anything pineapple. Fresh pineapple?

Are you dog-styling me? You ever fucking cut up a fresh... Oh, my God. It's so good, I start fucking it. I don't even... Oh, for Christ's sake. Let's stop right there. First headline, meet the new boss, not like the old boss. That's sort of a play on the who's...

If you guys are in your late 70s. Anyways, billionaire Elon Musk said on Wednesday he was entering Twitter Inc.'s San Francisco office days ahead of court order deadline to close his $44 billion deal for the social media platform. Anybody else like you think what I'm thinking? He knew he was going to buy it. He just had to. He's smart about everything. I'll test him.

I'll say this, that, whatever the fuck. It doesn't explain why he's stealing a sink from Chipotle, but run that fucker. Go ahead. What's he doing in there? Oh, this is him coming in. Look, that's the only clean sidewalk in San Francisco or whatever. Now, please tell me he didn't do all this just for the line he put, let this sink in. No, don't say that, because I want to like him. Please. But you know what? At least it does show this guy, richest guy on the planet, arguably, and maybe one of the smartest.

That's fucking arguable. You can't argue that either. But when it comes to sense of humor. Anyways, good for you. Good for you, Spider. Don't take no shit off nobody. Entering the Twitter headquarters, he said, let that sink in. Oh, and I didn't.

Boo. Said the caption of a video that Musk tweeted. Oh, God. He's going to ruin Twitter again. Which he was out walking into the Twitter office carrying a sink in his hands. You get it, folks? I'm glad he didn't make a dick joke. Good night, everybody.

So there he is walking in, hoping to get a huge laugh. He's probably hoping his employers were, you know, waiting for him. Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? They're all cowering in a broom closet because free speech is headed their way. Hours earlier, he hinted at being the company's top boss.

Well, yeah. After updating his profile bio to Chief Twit. Boy, he was on fire yesterday. Oh, that dirty cocksucker. Good for you, Spider. I like him. He's not taking himself serious. I'm hoping to get a hold of Rogan again. I don't know, fucking, I want to be there. Rogan has him on. I would love to meet this guy. Just so I can say, can I borrow a billion? And when he says no, I'm going to go, dude, that is literally like a dollar to you, you motherless fuck.

The Wall Street Journal reported, citing people familiar with the matter, that banks have started to send $13 billion in cash. What's that look like? Is that all ones? Backing Musk's takeover of Twitter and a sign that the deal is on track to close by the end of this week. The bank sent him. He's leveraging the thing. I hope that doesn't affect how he runs it. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around.

Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? Yeah. Hey, Elon, you can't get away with that shit. That's a little fucking far-fetched. Once final closing conditions are met, the funds will be made available for Musk to execute the transaction by Friday's deadline, the report added. Morgan Stanley, a great receiver back in the 80s, Barclays and Bank of Judaism, I mean America, did not respond to Reuters' request for comment on the Wall Street Journal report. They never respond. Anytime you want to talk to somebody important, at least that's how I find it. In the six months of dramatic back and forth since Musk announced his $54.20 per share bid,

Twitter initially resisted the deal by adopting a poison pill and later sued the world's richest man. How can you? Imagine being the world's richest man and you're like, okay, sue me. Seriously, I will sue you into fucking. I know there's other rich people suing him, but I'm just saying. The richest man, he announced plans to abandon the offer on concerns about spam accounts on the platform, which is all part of the plan, I'm guessing. That's how smart this motherfucker. Not all of the Twitter workforce was happy to see him. This one guy, I guess he'll

be the right-hand man, and he was a big, uh, he was, he was Jack Dorsey's right-hand man. He's pissed. Oh, Nick, you and your animal clips. I know the kids love it. You don't blame me. Ask the judge, judge you know how does this look anyhow any he let's move on to something totally different as adam sandler said, segues of a kid's. I heard him say that my first year in comedy in New York when I moved out, probably 1991, and it made me belly laugh and I took it to heart. Anyways, school district to parents, butt out. Let me tell you something. Who said kill all the intellectual? Remember revolution was that anybody any history fancy?

Dallas is like look I fight him. I don't fucking study him I don't know somebody said kill all the intellectuals and the homosexuals are really the same thing to me Anyways, why are you saying that well every time I see a guy like this reminds me that I want to kill him a lawyer first board a school board school board in New Jersey gave his interpretation of the law at a recent board meeting in which he said parents do not, I repeat, do not have a right to decide the curriculum schools teach to their children. And that's what he said. Who gives a fuck what you think? I agree, Kevin. At a Lawrence Township Board of Education meeting

on October 19th, lawyer John Kamengo... Ugh. Look at the word come in his name. It's smeg. Lawyer John, come on back. Look at the ball fuck. I hope it's his fifth round of chemo.

Let's listen to this jag off. The right folks of parents is not to dictate what their children are taught. It is to determine where they attend. In public schools, we have curriculum that is aligned with New Jersey state learning standards. Again, it's here. But please know, if your students attend, if your students attend these awesome schools, they're going to be instructed in this curriculum, which is consistent with state learning standards. Okay, great.

It's not binding. If you choose to have... Yeah, fuck off. In other words, accept it or go fucking elsewhere, even though it's your tax dollars. state learning standards. It's not binding. If you choose to have... Yeah, fuck off. In other words, accept it or go fucking elsewhere, even though it's your tax dollars. You're right.

They don't have a right to decide. They have a... You don't have a right to fucking... for the teachers to not follow the curriculum. It used to be math, reading, science, and to fuck with their sexual orientation, stuff that is under the purview of parents' job.

And this is America. If they don't like it, they'll vote you out, schoolboy, or whatever the fuck. You hear the arrogance? You don't have a right to tell us what we can teach you. Yeah, actually. Yeah. Okay, we'll fire you then. It's under the state. So he passes the buck on to the people above. It's the state's educational program that you, oh, okay, give me that guy's number or give me their number. See how it works? That's what you

can do in government bureaucracy. You just keep passing the buck to the people higher. Then you can go elsewhere. And he says awesome schools. A lot of geniuses coming out of New Jersey, I noticed. No offense. Frank Sinatra, the Sopranos. But don't you get it, sir? Don't you get it? And you know what's beautiful about this? It just shows how he's ensconced in his Northeast bubble with all the other so-called elitist jerk-offs. And he has no idea this is what's killing the Democrat Party. When they pissed those mothers off, remember about a year ago at that school board meeting

and they came out screaming at the fucking... Don't you think for a second parents didn't see that and fucking put it in their mental bank come voting time. They have no clue. But then again, they probably know they're going to win because they're going to cheat again. Let me do a Hillary.

Literally, I have evidence that they're going to try to steal another election like they did Biden's. I wish there were people who didn't like me watching. That's not for you kids. You come out and see me at Titty Bar, Fort Myers, Snapper Joe's. Kamengno's comments were made following parent criticism of the district's transgender policy. See, that's what I'm talking about, Mr. Kameg

Smegma. Okay. And I hope that's your third round of chemo. That's why you're as bald as a fuck. That's hateful, Nick. I know it feels so good. I just came twice. Anyways, see, that's where you're fucking, now you guys are treading into territory that's none of your business. Now you guys are treading into territory that's none of your business. You're not a doctor or a pediatrician. My primary care physician. Gynecologist. Jerk off.

Parent criticism of the district's transgender policy. Policy 5756. Oh, yeah, that one. Wasn't that the score of the fucking Army game last week? Which is mandated by state law. Okay, again, you talk about New Jersey, Northeastern, you can't get more liberal, folks. New Jersey's as blue as fucking Manhattan. Once Chris Christie got in there,

and he's called him a Republican, fat fag. The policy was adopted in 2016 and revised three years later. The New Jersey law against discrimination, the district's policy states, generally makes it unlawful for schools to subject individuals to differential treatment based on gender identity or expression. Well, you're treating straight kids differently.

How about that? It's not the fucking transgender. You're coddling them. You bend it over backwards to make them comfortable. You see how that works? You're not making heterosexual kids comfortable or their parents. They really need me. The policy also says the district, like these laws haven't been on the books for a hundred years. You can't discriminate, you know, sexual oriental, like are you dog style? The policy

also says the district shall accept the student's asserted gender identity. In other words, if Billy says, I'm Diane today, don't, you don't have to fuck the parents, you don't have to get involved. We'll keep that a secret. Asserted gender identity and that parental consent is not required. All right. All right. Here's where a schoolteacher gets shot by some fucking father who had a bad day at the iron mill. That's what I keep open for. A student need not meet any threshold diagnosis or treatment requirements to have his or her gender identity recognized and respected by the school district, school or staff members, the policy reads. In addition, in other words, you don't have to come in with fake tits and

going to have my clit put on next week right after the softball. In addition, a legal or court-ordered name change is not required. There's no affirmative duty for any school district staff member to notify a student's parents. In other words, we have carte blanche with your kid and his fucking sexuality. The student's gender identity or expression. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are?

Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who the fuck? That was a father whose son came home, Diane. Take a sip of timing, stupid. home Diane take a sip of timing stupid okay the new the New Jersey learning standards state that a Board of Education shall include instruction on the political economic and social contributions of persons with discipline I don't even understand what that means I don't even understand that

sentence is that meaning this is how I took it so I know I don't even understand that sentence. Does that mean, this is how I took it, so I know I'm retarded. Does that mean like people in history that were lesbians and disabled, that has to be included in the curriculum? Well, what does that mean? Contributions of persons with gay, bisexual, and transgender people in an appropriate place in the curriculum of middle school and high school students as part of the district's implementation of the state's learning standards. You know what? I'll say this. Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. What the fuck? They don't want you to understand, by the way. That's the big thing, you know, whether you read contracts today and,

you know, shit you can't even come close to. You're not supposed to comprehend it. It's really a beautiful scam, you know who's good going who's that Nick I don't know what's with that logo oh that's the fucking Jets new helmet and what a more friendly defense I've been picking on them they're actually doing good a nonprofit parent group parents defending education what's that made up of, one person? Outreach director Erica Sanzi said Compegno's remarks are typical of how district bureaucrats think, even though they work for a public, that's what I said, publicly funded entity that is supposed to serve the public.

Can't you tell she's just normal? Parents in the district are objecting to content for very young children that an overwhelming majority of parents oppose, and they are met with condescension and disdain, Sanzy said. I'm spending a lot of time on this, folks, because to me, this is the big issue. I know crime, too, but this one here, because you have people, Democrats, you know, people of all political stripes not liking this. At least that happens in my wet tree. These districts are happy to shame families out of the district while gleefully holding on to the tax dollars they leave behind. The best remedy is to vote in new board members who will listen to families and tell a guy like this to stand down.

That's what you tell them. Thank you. During the public comment portion of the Board of Education meeting, parents slammed the district for encouraging children to question their gender and for the controversial books taught to students as early as kindergarten.

Okay? There's not something wrong with that? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. One of the books in question, Jacob's New Dress, I couldn't put this down. I couldn't put it down. I kept wiping my ass with it. By Ian Hoffman and Sarah Hoffman. It seems foolish to have all this money lying around. Oh, you'd rather have it down at the bank where the Jewish guys can leer at it? That doesn't fit there, but I throw it in

because of Mr. and Mrs. Hoffman trying to pollute your kids. Oops. Is a picture book read to kindergartners that feature a young boy who likes playing dress-up and wants to wear a dress to school. Okay? Anybody? What is fucking going on here? Even as, do you understand this is an attack on the nuclear family? This is all part of the nuclear family attack. No more mom and dad and kids because that's lethal to a socialist

regime. Wear a dress to school even as his classmates tell him that he cannot wear girls' clothes. I like the father in the book says this. Your son looks like a fag to me. I hope to make a movie of that. I want to play that part. A parent alleged that a lesson on the gender snow person.

The gender snow person didn't know they had a sex agenda. They actually put that in the curriculum. alleged that a lesson on the gender snow person, the gender snow person, didn't know they had a sex agenda. They actually put that in the curriculum. I did not. Well, that's an easy transition. You take the carrot and put it down by his... A parent alleged that a lesson on the gender snow person

is taught to fourth grade students who are asked to think of themselves as a snow person and participate in a game where they can be whichever gender they choose. Why are you using a snow person? You're kind of doing a chicken shit thing here. Why don't you use real people? Regardless of their biology, according to centraljerseyjerkoff.com. Unbelievable.

There's another reason to leave the Northeast, folks. It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy. And you can project it back on me. Dude, will you please watch that so you can come in and thank me for the next 10 years? For Christ's sake, you almost look like Manson in the movie. You guys know what I'm talking about, right?

Fucking Helter Skelter. It was a CBS made TV movie in the 70s. Still, it holds up. Gave me the chills as a kid. It kind of creeped me out. Merch read. Oops, I'm not supposed to read that part. Okay, Joe.

And you go. Head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. Remember, you can't rob a school without a hoodie. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look good at the same time. I've noticed you've been a little haggard lately with your pants. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the NICA shirts. That's N-I-C-K-A shirts. Just go to Nickdip.com.

Click on the store button. Again, nickdip.com. Click on the store button. Thank you, guys and gals and everything in between very, very much. And now for something completely different. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I actually got that from Monty Python. You remember that one?

Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Say no more. Say no more. Perfect. Katy Perry. Look, I'm doing a little pop country. You guys know I usually don't do this shit. I stay away from it. But Katy Perry kind of fascinates me a little bit.

As you know, I'm an old man, so I still like American Idol. I still think it takes a lot of balls to audition. And it amazes me that these young kids can write songs like they're doing shit. And the other reason I really watch it is for the political correctness. You know what I mean? If they don't know if they're going to pass the kid through Hollywood, he'll come back in a wheelchair with a fake leg. They always have backstories.

This black kid grew up in the ghetto and couldn't afford a guitar, so he used to play his mother's nipples when they were cold. Shit like that. But speaking of nipples, Katy Perry, who is... She's kind of a bitter... I'm right on the fence with her. On the show,

people right now are going, is he really talking about this? Yeah. She's kind of a bitter... She's got more success than she deserves. She's a mediocre talent. And if you didn't have that, what do they call that tune? What do you do to singers' voices? Auto-tune. Thank you. I thought that was a car dealership. Statesboro. Come down to auto-tune. I saw her. Let's put it this way. When me and Artie Lang had a show on DirecTV, we had to cover the Super Bowl

in Minneapolis, and she was the entertainment the night before the show in the big arena and shit. And I watched about four and a half seconds, and I'm going to get the fuck out of here. It's making me sick. And then I saw her fans, and I stayed. No. Anyways, but yeah. But anyways,

she fascinates me because she's got a fucking kind of bitter, I don't know why, she's wildly successful, more than she, anyway, she suffered a mid-concert eye glitch, what do you see, I had to show this, it did, it caught, no, I didn't, it caught my eye, I didn't mean that, I did, that's a fucking horrible pun, now fans are worried the pop superstar might actually be a robot. Oh, please. You know what? Her fans probably are that dumb. If you're a fan of this type of soulless dog shit music, during a recent, no offense, Katie, if I ever meet you, I'll say I love it. Big fucking tits. That's all I think of when I'm watching her in America. Big tits.

During a recent performance on her Las Vegas play, she's got a play residency in Vegas, that only means she makes about a million dollars a month, you know, stays up in a room, comes downstairs, performance goes back, I want one, not, ah, Christ, even Carrot Top had one, true story, anyways, performance, one true story anyways performance or las vegas play residue perry appeared unable to keep her right eye open now i've like i was talking to dallas we all get that spasm in your lid and you're like can people see what's going on you feel like there's a grasshopper under there jumping there's something jumping around under your fucking lid but this was way cooler she's lucky i wasn't in the front row. I would have jumped on stage and tried to fuck her.

Are you winking at me, bitch? Check this fucking, what's this? This is weird. She's trying to look beautiful. Make even more noise for my band. All right, I gave you the in. My eyes! My eyes!

Wouldn't you think she was winking at you? Yeah. I love that she just stood there. And then I'm reading some of the comments. That's how sad it is. How lonely I was last night. And somebody goes, I like the way she, instead of doing something, what did he say?

Why didn't she go off, whatever. I mean, she handled it like a pro is what she did. Fuck, people are so stupid. The odd display, which has gone viral. Imagine you're that famous. You fucking fart in your pants because it sounded weird. You go viral because you're Rogan. The odd display, which has gone viral on social media, was met with reactions from Katie cats. Count me in. I get the little ears. Pussy. That ranged from concerned to amused. I put these in here not because they're funny, because I realized how I became a semi-successful comic

with the average person's sense of humor. Boy, is it diarrhea-like. Her clone was glitching. That's scary, one person wrote in a TikTok comment, while another added, her robot seems to glitch a lot. No, they're ignorant. That's scary, one person wrote in a TikTok comment, while another added, her robot seems to glitch a lot. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Is that the best you can do?

She got a giant rack there, her hands on her big ass? Come on. Oh, no, this has to be a black comment. That bitch is a robot. Oh, my God. We been knew. my god we been new yeah but the brothers have trouble conjugating to be the bitches are oh my god we been new conjugating yeah another jokingly asserted from detroit while robbing a white woman? It says Katy Perry is a motherfucking robot. I love black people.

Or probably a white kid trying to act black. Meanwhile, someone else opined, it wasn't the eye thing that was weird. Oh, this is the fucking idiot. It was the fact she acted like it didn't happen and went on with the show. Yeah, that's called being a professional, you dumb fuck. If she walked off to get help, you would have called her an asshole.

Why are people so fucking retarded? And again, big tits. Back to the show. Many others found the moment rather funny. Robert, that ain't no... She just celebrated her 38th birthday, by the way. I threw this in because who cares? I don't like that haircut right there. Black widow shit. Look at the fucking...

I'm not looking at her hair. Oh, you must be more heterosexual than I am. I am. I didn't even notice those giant tits. What's with the shemp Howard haircut? It's almost canceling your beautiful tits. They're getting a little... Those are almost Italian grandmother tits. What's with the shampoed haircut? It's almost canceling your beautiful tits. They're getting a little, those are almost Italian grandmother tits now. You know what I'm saying? My grandmother breastfed me. Isn't that weird? Skip the joke. Red wine. Perry rang in the New Year on Tuesday. It says, which her partner. I think they mean with her partner.

Orlando Bloom. Orlando Blamer boyfriend honored her in a sweet Instagram tribute. He put, each time, I think this is him, right? Talking to her. Yeah. Each time we take a trip around the sun, oh, what are you, a weatherman? And get to celebrate you, that would be a one year, you know, you get it, folks, birthday. I'm reminded that on this journey together and whatever the weather, I'm always smiling. The actor 45 captioned a selfie for the couple and about 400 people did what I did.

I did that to my... I put an Instagram out of my wife's birthday. One more time around the sun, I'm out of here. I actually wrote in a card once, happy 51st birthday. Hope you don't have too many more. What kind of talk is that? Perry and Bloom got engaged in,

can you believe I'm fucking doing this? In 2019, after three years of porking each other. Porking. What is this, 1980? They share a two-year-old daughter named Daisy that they stole from a mall in England. And that's that. That was kind of creepy, wasn't it?

Ming. Let's move on to some lighter news. That's that. That was kind of creepy, wasn't it? Minga. Let's move on to some lighter news. Black devil to rot in prison. That doesn't sound like lightness, Nick. Well, you guys remember the, I was going to say the Kawasaki. What's the fuck in Wisconsin? Wasaki? Anyways, the three-week-long trial for mass murderer Daryl Brooks.

He's the guy that ran over people in Wisconsin at a parade on purpose, including children, old ladies. The black devil. Most hateful fuck on the planet. May he be porked in the ass till his mother dies. Trial for mass murder. Darryl Brooks was punctuated by his angry outburst. He represented himself.

Anyways, today it was the victim's family to act cuckoo. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! There you go. As Judge Jennifer Darrow read Brooks' guilty verdict, a relative of one of the... What is Waukesha?

What the fuck's... Yeah, Waukesha. Waukesha. That's right. No, I can't put... I'm putting the accent on the wrong syllable. Syllable. Waukesha Christmas parade victims the wrong syllable. Walker Shaw Christmas Parade victims

roared out with righteous fury, suggesting that an internal prison awaits the killer once he's finished his life rotting behind bars. The man can be heard on the video. I'll say it because

in case he says, burn in hell, you piece of shit. But it sounds much better in Italian. As charged in count two of the information, did the defendant commit first-degree intentional homicide while using a dangerous weapon? Answer, yes. Burn in hell, you piece of shit. Hey, you are to be removed right now.

Fuck you, Judge. You will not do that. Suck my dick, Judge. yes hey you are to be removed right now fuck you judge suck my dick judge oh oh oh oh how about the judge jumping down isn't there a cool judge

anywhere and now you're going to say well you can't do that yeah you can he didn't. Yeah, you can. He didn't charge the guy. Let them unload verbally. You hear her jump down his throat? You can't do that. You'll be removed immediately. Hey, suck a bag of my cocks, judge.

Lift your robe. I'd go nuts on her. And then I'd turn to him and go, listen, straight chimp. What? You can't say that. He's got a mask on. That's good. You're going to wear that when you're being boned up the ass by three Islamic fucking terrorists?

Let's hope so. What a piece of garbage. On November 21st of 2021, Daryl Brooks intentionally, even though if you read the stories after it, like USA Today and New York Times, the car went out of control. They didn't even say him. Fucking. Daryl Brooks intentionally drove his SUV through a Christmas parade in Wickey, Wisconsin, striking. Wacosha.

Wacosha. No, I said Wacosha. Or Waukesha. No, Wacosha. Yeah, Waukesha. That's what I keep seeing. That's why. Waukesha. No, yeah, Wauke... That's what I keep seeing. That's why. Waukesha and Aisha in Waukesha, Wisconsin,

striking 68 people, all white, by the way. Even if that's wrong, I don't give a fuck. What are you going to call my show? And killing six people, okay? There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! That's a black guy saying that in case it bothers him. Wednesday morning, the jury deliberated for three minutes, no, three hours and 15 minutes before reaching its verdict. It found Brooks

guilty of all charges, 76 of them, including six counts of intentional first-degree murder. He'll kill himself. He's just a guy who's a coward to the bone. CBS Chicago reported that each murder count carries a mandatory life sentence, so there's 76 life sentences. Maybe he should try... Oh, fuck it.

What's that fruits and vegetables everybody's taking on Fox News? Eat real healthy. You might outlive the... During the trial, Brooks had taken off his clothing. This is what he did in the courtroom while he was representing... He was taking off his clothing,

pretended to be someone else on one day, built a fort out of boxes. He was acting, you know, so he could get the sanitary crazy. Upon hearing the verdict, guess what? His theatrics came to an end. After learning he would spend

the rest of his life in jail, and after being reminded there might be a hell, he hung his head. Oh, theatrics over. Game over. You ever worry me, cocksucker, you know that?

Thank God it's not New York City. Otherwise, he'd be back on the streets. Maybe not. Even this guy. This one was too bad. No, I know. Who knows? You're right.

Alvin Bragg would go, you know what? Suspended. Time served. And you're on probation. And you have to stay away from pickup trucks. I don't know. And white people. Anyways, good luck dying in, somebody might spare his brains when he gets in there. I don't know. There's any white representation in there anymore. Make plans to come and see me on the road. Here are my upcoming stand-up dates. Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club, West Palm Beach, Florida.

The next night, Saturday, November 12th, Snappers Comedy Club, Fort Myers, Florida. Sunday, November 13th, the next night, Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa. Friday, January 13th, and Saturday, the 14th of January, Comedy Off-Broadway, Lexington, Kentucky. Friday, February 3rd, and Saturday, February 4th, the Grove Comedy Club in Lowell, Arkansas. I think Tommy thinks I like stand-up. Friday, March 11th and Saturday, the 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City. That's in Casey, Missouri. You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com.

This type of savagery deserves no commentary. Okay. You going to say something, sir? Oh. Good, because I'm about to break out. Shot through the heart, and you're to blame. Darling, you give love a bad name. There you go.

That's the headline. Shot through the heart. You ought to blame, motherfucker. A groom, a groom, that would be, you know, when a guy and a lady get married, that would be the husband. I think still. A groom was gunned down in Mexico just moments after tying the knot over the weekend. Some guys are so fucking lucky, man.

Tying the knot over the weekend. Some guys are so fucking lucky, man. In a tragic case of mistaken identity amid the region's ongoing cartel war. See, it was a, they always say this. So apparently, I guess we're not racist when we think all brown people look alike. Because the cartel gunned this guy down by accident. Couldn't have picked a better day, in my opinion.

No, I'm just, look, I love my wife and my brother. You know, it's all true. All right. What? Do you take Juanita to be your bride and all that other shit?

Ah, forget about it. Hey, can we get our cards and money back? Marco Antonio Rosales Contreras, Jesus Christ, if you're shooting at his name, you're not going to miss it. 32 years old, was leaving his wedding ceremony at Nuestra Señora de la Candelaria Church in Caborca around 5 p.m. local time. Yet I can't say Waukesha. Local time on Saturday when he was struck by multiple bullets.

They have the videos just right after. But really, you see the wedding dress has blood. What a horror. Anyway, show it. Anyway. See, the DJ shouldn't have gone on with the ceremony. Anyways, can you imagine now? How about when you see friends that didn't go to the... They go, how was the...

You know what I mean? What do you got? Yeah. Can you imagine now? How about when you see friends that didn't go to the, they go, how was the, what? You know what I mean? What do you got? Eh. Witnesses later said the shots came from a single unidentified man who ran away down the street. Antonio, a computer engineer from Guadalajara, is Mexico just a dangerous place on earth? I don't give a fuck if you're in Cancun, Los Cabos,

was pronounced dead en route to the hospital. He's gone and we couldn't do nothing about it. And the video footage showed his new wife being escorted away from the church and hysterical. You think she's ever going to be right again mentally? I'll tell you this, next time she meets a guy, she's going to elope. I'm actually going to elope. Her white wedding dress stained with blood. Antonio's sister, Michelle Adriana, 23, was also shot in the back. Jesus.

She was treated at the hospital and released hours later. It stung. On Sunday night, state officials announced that no line of investigation had been ruled out. That's another way of saying we have no idea. According to the Sonora Attorney General's office, Antonio's killing was a direct attack, though they believe bullets may have been intended for somebody else. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? Investigators indicate that the attack against Marco Antonio was directed towards another individual who was also getting married

at the same time in a different nearby city, the statement said. Talk about dodging the proverbial bullet. I know. What the fuck? But the other guy didn't. Another guy got shot, it said in the article, at the church. What, did they just go to every church to make sure? Holy fucking moly, Mexico.

Get your shit together, could you? Please. Coyo, please. Finally tonight, excuse me, final story of the week. Boy, my dick's hard. Robodog. Chinese military contractor created a video showing off its terrifying new military technology, revealing a robot attack dog that can be dropped off by a drone.

What's funny about it is the drone looked like it would be easy to blow out of the air. Doesn't it? I could jump up and pull that thing down. Take a look. This is the drone dropping off the killer dog. It's a dog with a machine gun built into it, a mechanical dog. It's getting creepy. Out of all the animals, why would you go to... I would have went with a nice dolphin. It looks funnier in the desert. A dolphin. You know, the blowhole and mustard gas comes out of it. Get creative, you dinks. Check this out. Dropping off the dog at the vet. Get up, you dumb dog!

Somebody got it. The U.S. has already come up with the defenses. They're coming up with, you can drop, they have drones that drop metal milk bones to distract. Dallas, I almost want to sign up that is getting fucking ugly man so yeah it could be shut down but the problem is it can also fly really low and be undetected exactly right how does that go undetected that big thing looks like a bed frame lots of big surface area in the world what do you mean though when you say low how low low enough for a satellite not to pick it up oh i get you i got you yeah anyway

i'd use that thing you know what i'd use it you know how guys they have drones and they uh like, well, I'm not going to say who. I know a few guys. They have drones and they fly them over, like, hotel pools where girls are hanging out and shit. That's what I'd do. And if the girls didn't wave, I'd shoot them. A robotic voice. Fuck you.

Fucking snob. According to a report from a war zone, the weapon mounted on the robot dog is possibly a Chinese QBB-97. That's the station I listen to, by the way. Oh, light. QBB-97. You know. Light listening.

Light listening. Soft jazz all the time. A right machine gun, which is capable of firing 650 rounds per minute at an effective range of 400 meters. It's about a football field. Anyways,

those Chinese... I kill you. I kill you right now. I'm right here. Kill me. I come with two chopsticks. And that's the show. War dogs descending from the sky air assault Red Wing forward heavy-duty drones deliver combat robot dogs, which can be directly inserted into the weak link behind the enemy to launch a surprise attack or can be placed on the roof where they will hump your leg.

The enemy to occupy the commanding heights to suppress firepower. And ground troops can conduct a three-dimensional Doberman pincer attack. It says pincer attack on the enemy in the building. The description reads, boy, the Chinese have a lot of time on their hands, huh? Between making spring rolls. The Chinese technology and other similar weapons have so far been designed to be operated by a human at the controls.

That's not true. There's no Chinese humans. Though military analysts fear that the system in which robots designed to operate autonomously are in development and could soon be deployed on battle. Trust me, they'll be out there. They don't fucking waste their...

How about those Chinese, huh? They take the technology and combine it with a dog kennel. Anyways, that's it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Before I go for the weekend, I got to thank all you people, all our supporters,

and newest patrons at Patreon. Robert, looks like, Wazel Chuck, Bradley Carroll, If you're on Robert, uh, looks like a Wazel, Chuck, um, Brett Bradley Carroll and Brian Kirk who received, uh, the 10% discount you get if you sign up with an annual subscription. And I also want to welcome and thank for, uh, Forrest who signed up for our new military level, which is discounted for all former and active military.

If you don't want to sign up at Patreon, but want to make a one-time or monthly contribution, you can do it right at nickdip.com like these guys did. Clifford Hritz, Paul Catrino, Patrick Spangler, Justin Olson,

Sean Powell, Stephen Stanley, Austin Pardee, Art Achoke Thank you all for listening and helping make this show possible that comes from my little black heart Thank you so much, don't forget to go to Cameo.com, I got a couple waiting for me

If you want a lady friend or a guy friend or somebody, anybody relative or somebody that likes me, that likes you, I'll roast them. And don't think I'm going to do 20 minutes like it's Comedy Central, okay? Give a nice minute and a half of a beating. Or just say happy birthday to that dirty whore. All right. What's the matter with me?

That is it, boys and girls. You guys think I'll say it. You're very welcome. Have a great weekend. See you back here on Monday. Hi. Good night, everybody. I'm a man of my own guitar soloサブタイトル キミノミヤ