The Nick DiPaolo Show - BLM Leader POS | Nick Di Paolo Show #638

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

LA BLM leader supports Smollett. USA Today says "math is racist". Joe repeats false Amtrak story. Mark Meadows faces criminal charges. Amazon fails.

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You can do all this at the comics, Jim.com and click on an encore episode or patrion.com slash the Nick DiPaolo show. Thanks for supporting. And I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Dream of going up to her and sitting down next to her, taking her in my arms and saying, look at me, listen to me. You will survive. You will have a good family of your own and three children.

And as hard as it might be to imagine, your daughter will grow up and become the president of the United States. guitar solo Oh yeah, final day of the week. Good afternoon, morning, evening, whenever you're listening, everybody. How are you? Welcome to the big show right here, right in front of mine from the Garden City, Georgia area. Anyhow, every time I see Hillary, why do I hear this song in my head? Go away, little girl. Again, one of our favorite Wayne Newton. Or maybe Paul Anka, one of those fags.

Go away, little girl. Donny Osmond. I think it was Donny Osmond with the giant teeth. With the AOC-like teeth. The John Elway giant choppers. Yeah, Hillary, nobody gives a fuck. Should I come on today and go, I wrote this when I was in fifth grade.

And I will break all the Russian records of Gale Sayers. And then I can say to my father, you didn't waste your time beating me silly. Shut it, you fat fuck. Nobody wants to hear it. Now, let's interpret why she did that, the timing of it and whatnot. I don't know. What's she doing there, dropping a little, is that a reminder?

This is how it should have went? I'm still here if you need me? You know what I mean? Or is it, all we can interpret is, finally, finally she's had a breakthrough in therapy and knows it ain't going to happen. I think the former is more of a legitimate theory.

This bitch will never go away. Genital herpes, asshole warts, with a wig on. Who am I kidding? Anyways, I don't think she's going anywhere. I swear to God, that's a little reminder. Look it, this is how it should have went. And again, I'm not going to say like her, but I have way more respect for her than fucking Nancy Pelosi or fucking Hillary

I mean, ooh, or Pelosi or AOC or any of those other dirty little girls. I don't mean to be so abrasive, folks. I've had five cups of coffee. I don't feel a fucking thing. It's like Keith Richards taking a fucking St. Joseph aspirin thing. Mainlining it into his cock, some fucking ibuprofen.

Nothing. Feel anything? Don't feel a thing. Woke up with blood on me. All right. Enough of the dog shat. I'm just glad it's Thursday. I don't have to fucking tell you.

A lot of things in my mind. Most of them involve food and dirty cheerleaders. In that order, unfortunately. Let's get right to it, shall we? We can get out of here. Whoa. In the N-word, I'm drooling on myself. What the fuck? In the N-word segment today, this is the thing that I'd like to say. Applicants for the incoming class of 2021 at City University of New York School of Law were asked to select their gender from a drop-down menu containing an astonishing 13 genders, none of which were man or woman. 13.

You don't get that many choices at Carvelius. Here are some of the terms I think they forgot. Fuckstain, a liberal progressive who would have been better off if their dad's load ended up drenching a couch cushion and stained it like a pigeon shit on a new suede jacket, then having them land in their mother's giant catcher's mitt muff. Dick Cheese, a progressive who's as useless to this society as the yogurt-like, Gouda-smelling smegma that spills out of a paraplegic man's uncircumcised cock when the foreskins roll back after two months of not bathing. Bon appetit. Goo gobbler, a male or female progressive who swallows at least the equivalent

of five two-liter bottles of ball bag batter a month and who drinks so much jizz when they feel a burp coming on, they have to throw on a lobster bib. Someone who's had so many cocks down their throat, they've permanently damaged their larynx to the point where they can no longer sing show tunes. Snatch lapper. A male or female lib who has chowed on so many vaginas, their breath smells like Quint's chum bucket in July. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. That's some wild stuff. Ho, ho, ho. You are correct, sir.

Asswad, my personal favorite, a liberal progressive who has less purpose in life than that giant shit-and-blood-stained, peanut-covered wad of gauze the surgeon pulls out of your anus two weeks after surgically removing that can of lemon pledge coated in a layer of, I can't believe it's not butter, curiously enough. They were also given a choice, these people, of 11, I'm not making this up, pronouns to choose from. I'd list them for you, but I refuse to play this stupid little fantasy game, and I don't

speak the language of fucking cuckoo. The Federal Equality Act, which has passed the House, it amends the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to prohibit discrimination on the basis of not only sex, but also sexual orientation now, and gender identity what this means is that if the Equality Act passed into law the definition of sex would now include gender identity the 1964 Civil Rights Act that's what we did goddamn you black people do you see what you started with all your whining I'm just kidding of course but what's ironic about it is nobody hates the LGBT community more than straight black people.

Because they're conservative and churchgoing and I'm not saying that as a pejorative. Anyway, thanks to you guys, black people, wanting to drink out of the same water fountain as me. Now we have to call a 6'4", 260-pound guy named Miss Lily, if that's what he wants to be called. Of course, I kid, but I think we went too far on the civil rights thing as far as sex goes. Anyway, before I wrap this up, I want to give you my theory on why a law school would buy into this horseshit. And that's exactly what it is, unadulterated horseshit. My apology to the horses, their assholes, and the feces, or as we like to call it on the farm growing up, meadow muffins. I think law school's end game here is to attract people who identify,

believe, and actually participate in these woke games and live that lifestyle. So once they get a law degree, they can help infuse our society with more of this silliness by codifying or codifying into law. And who better to do that than a lawyer named Becky with a beard, 22-inch neck, dressed in an off-the-shoulder peach chiffon ensemble by Donna Karan, and a pair of men's size 17 Christian Louboutins. And that's the N-word for today. I don't know, man. This is now on paper. It's real. And who's going to play along? That's what I don't get. You think the rest of us are gonna play? You still know you're in the minority, right? You still know gay people. You make up about 5% of the country.

Maybe. I think those numbers are overblown. No pun intended. Listen. Do you know what I'm saying? I gotta believe the people who think this shit is ridiculous outnumbers the people who think it's legit by about 40 to 1. Please tell me I'm right. But it's hard. It's hard to, the reason so many people do believe it, because once again, the libs, the Democrats, they have the microphone, meaning the TV, the internet, for years, everything gay, gay, gay, everything gay. There's an episode in Sopranos, for Christ's sake, that this episode was shot around 2000, 21 years ago, where Carmella goes, what's with all this gay stuff? They're turning everything gay.

That was 20 years ago. And when I remember her saying that, I was going, boy, is she behind the time. I mean, it's been going on. Now they've got a couple of generations. These are not, I can't stress this enough, these people in Washington on the left or the Democrats or Rotary, they're not Americans. They might as well be from Russia or China. They're fucking Marxists. Don't even think of them as American politicians. And some of the jerk-off Republicans who are playing along.

and some of the jerk-off Republicans who are playing along. God help us, ladies and gentlemen, but I will not play along. I will not call somebody until you call me. I want to be called Massa DiPaolo. That's kind of racist and horseshit, I agree, but you don't seem to give a fuck about my feelings and my rules. If you want to play. I don't even know why I use that as a metaphor.

It's more of a gay thing. I want to be called Johnny Grizzlecock. Guy who headlines the gold club in Atlanta on ladies night. How about Johnny Averagecock? Well, you hit it right on the head. All right. Let's move along. Make me a sandwich.

Make me a fucking sandwich. Only if you call me Johnny Grizzlecock. Look at Hillary right there with her mouth open. And I guarantee she's not going to catch a load in the next frame. The leader of the Los Angeles, already I hate the story, Black Lives Matter, I hate it even more, is standing in solidarity with the accused race hoaxer, Jussie Smollett. Wow, so surprising. And here's why black people, here's why you as a group, and I don't make a sound that racist, and again, it doesn't apply to all, but here's why you as a race have not moved forward

because of thinking like this. Okay, not whitey doing it to you, thinking like, to look and give a person like this ignorant, not Jussie, I'm talking about the BLM broad who's agreeing with Jussie. Smollett in a trial, the BLM leader claims is a white supremacist charade. I get chills. Is that really?

The charade we all know is, even black people who probably watched Empire and liked it, even made fucking laughing in Jussie's face, but not this twat. She thinks it's a white charade how do you get there somebody tell me the process how she got there please

a white charade not a charade put on by a black guy oh my god this lady uh she actually scares me the antichrist you should lie you got me in a vendetta kind lady, she actually scares me. The anti-Christ. Yes you are. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. Her voice scares me. Sounds like Lori Lightfoot. Los Angeles BLM leader, Malena Abdullah, need I say more? Look at the hate and the permanent frown on her face. A former CSU, that would be California State, right? Not prison, university

professor. Can you imagine being a black female professor at California State? What are the odds you're going to agree with anything white people do? California, you have a cancer that you'll never get rid of. And Rabid defund the police activists. Need I say more about this shithead? Praise the former Empire actor for his courage. His courage. It takes courage to stage a hoax and get caught and then keep pretending. His courage as he stands trial in Chicago

for allegedly perpetrating a fake hate crime. Abdullah railed against the trial in Chicago in her statement, claimed that the American justice system is white supremacist and insisted it's an example of corrupt systems, right out of her book, working to devalue lives. We have her saying more. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady but the way that she put in behind that hateful speech. An abolitionist society,

I'm quoting her, an abolitionist society, this trial would not be taking place and our communities would not have to fight and suffer to prove our worth, Abdullah exclaimed. Meanwhile, she's a professor at a fucking college in this country, spewing hate and nobody busting her balls about it. Oh, I meant to hit me in the face. Sorry about that, Dale. Just lost an eye. The guy did three tours in Afghanistan. I put his eye out. guy did three tours in Afghanistan. I put his eye out. To prove our worth, Abdullah exclaimed, instead we find ourselves once again being forced to put our lives and our value in the hands of judges and juries operating in a system that's designed to oppress us. She stuck in 1940. It wasn't even that bad in 1940. This is all in your head, psycho, while continuing to face a corrupt and violent police department who has proven time and time again to have no respect for our lives.

Yeah, as opposed to the respect the black kids show cops all over the country. I got one word for you. She's a malignant cunt. Bing! What do we have for him, Bob? In our commitment to abolition, goes on the pig we can never believe police especially the chicago police department over jesse smollett a black man who has been courageously present visible in vocal and the struggle for black freedom uh the extremists continued. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

Abdullah added that police at large is an irredeemable institution and attacked the Chicago Police Department for its history of civil rights abuses. Black Lives Matter will continue to work towards the abolition of police in every unjust system. Now we can see why there's never been a black country

that fucking ever flourished anywhere. That's a bold statement. I'm just saying. This type of fucking thought still exists. There is nobody, I'm going to make this statement, there's nobody on the right, including every fucking Klansman you can find in Alabama, Georgia, Missouri,

who is hateful as that bitch. End of story. We will continue to love and protect one another and wrap our arms around those who do the work to usher in black freedom. She's a teacher. She's a fucking college professor. By extension, freedom for,

if you're sending your kid off to college, now, you deserve what returns. Oh my God. Freedom for everyone else, she says. A, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. No need to get personal. Un-fucking-real. Sees herself as... I just want to say to somebody like her, what's your definition of free? Do you come and go every day to your job that you're overly paid for, I'm sure? Do you come and go? Do you have the right to move to another state tomorrow if you wanted to? If you had to go to court, what other country would you rather be on trial in? Can you answer these questions or are you blinded by your youth?

I'm going to take a course out there. Right after Dallas shows me how to fucking take apart my AR-15. Something tells me Dallas can do it blindfolded. He's like, humbly, no. He's like, you know, I built a cannon from scratch using two Coke cans and a rock. There are white niggers. I haven't seen a lot of white niggers in my time. Senator Byrd, watch your filthy racist mouth. You might offend a Black Lives Matter lady who still thinks that black people are hated like it's 1920.

USA Today, this is in the Reverse the Racist segment, USA Today appeared to question why is anybody still reading a paper? Don't you see that the pink, yellow, and blue pie charts tell you that it's for retarded people and it's the easiest way to lie to the public? Anyways, they appeared to question whether math was racist in a Twitter-provoking headline from Tuesday. People went nuts on Twitter. Here's why I'm getting a little encouraged. People have finally, it's so funny how long it takes the masses to come around.

They finally, even on Twitter, no bastion of conservatism, went nuts over this stupid USA. Whether math is racist or not. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. The article's headline originally reads, Is math racist? As many students of color struggle with the subject, schools are altering instruction. I call it lowering the standards like we talked about yesterday.

No more gifted classes, advanced math. Everybody's going to be dumbed up, sometimes amid intense debate. The article focuses on bolder recommendations to make math more inclusive. It's not supposed to be inclusive. That's not what math, science, and mother— You guys are watching Marxism flourishing on college campuses, fucking school board meetings. You're watching it before your eyes. We're sitting here doing nothing about it.

Well, what are you going to do? I don't know. Go to the batting cages later? I'm busy. Make math more inclusive. That are blowing up the world of mathematics education. That's what it's doing. It's just destroying mathematics.

You ever think you'd look at mathematics as something that's subjective? It's just so mathematics. You ever think you'd look at mathematics as something that's subjective? It's just so ridiculous. Ain't it? In other words, two plus two may not be four. If you grew up in fucking Bangaluga, Bagadiga. What was that? I don't know. It's a fucking coastal city in Nigeria. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. After the original headline began to trend on Twitter, the title was later changed. Oh, the title was changed after you caught some heat and half the world pointed out how stupid you are. They changed it to, is math education racist? Yeah, we can work the white racist school system into it.

Debate rages over changes to how U.S. teaches the subject. Critics called out USA Today for the substance of their article and for changing the headline. Excuse me. Here are some of the people pushing back on Twitter even. Math isn't racist, but the educators who think it needs to be changed and made easier because some black kids struggle with it, which is true. Well guy says they're racist, the people who want to change it. That's a Washington

Times columnist, Tim Young tweeted. Portland State University professor, I'm sure he's a hard righty, Peter Boghossian, oh, I think this guy's actually on Gutfeld sometime, wrote, no, math is not racist. Major venues like at USA Today even asking this question is a sign of cultural sickness. Amen. Racial disparities can be addressed in part by using the best evidence-based pedagogical practices that enable student learning. Please stop suggesting math is racist. You are correct, sir. The left has become so racist,

they accuse everyone and everything of being racist. That was my favorite one. Finally, somebody is pointing out who the real racists are, including math. Political commentator Kim Iverson said. I still haven't heard somebody, hello, Jesus, I'd agree with anything she says. Yes, it's true. Job Hove, witnesses are irritable. Irritating. What? I lost my train of thought. Anyways, she's right about that.

I'll believe it. We're coming around when I actually hear somebody on any channel. You know you're not going to hear it on CNBC, NBC, ABC, all the natural usual suspects. But I want to hear somebody go, yeah, black people are really racist. You'll never hear that ever. And I told you, and I've repeated this when I was living in New York, and the New York Post had to be 10, 15 years ago.

They took a poll of people in New York who's the most racist race, and the black people said that they were, which was so refreshing. I've been saying it since I was in sixth grade, but I'm a bigot and whatever the fuck. Anyhow, folks, can't we all just get along? I hope not, because I don't even like you. The Nick DiPaolo Show is sponsored by Black Buffalo, one of our new sponsors.

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Anyhow, anyway, yeah. Go, baby, drive. You're driving on down the road. That's right. I'm singing a Kiss song from 1976. Hey, I got the intro down to fucking Hey Joe. I got it down, baby. Anyways, like I said, it's the last thing I want to be that guy with a guitar that knows 100 intros or no.

Anyways, let's move on to dink face. Choo-choo Joe. Why do I call it? Well, you know, Amtrak Joe. President Biden, this one made me laugh. President Biden clearly thinks this story never gets old. If only it were true. Biden on Wednesday repeated for the sixth time this year alone what he called the true story, like the election was real, about an

encounter with an Amtrak conductor named Angelo Negri, despite the story being declared false by fact checkers. We have a sworn affidavit. We have it. Your sworn affidavit. Biden said it happened when he visited his sick mother who died in January 2010, less than one year after he became vice president. On at least three other occasions, Biden said it happened much later in his second term. Well, that doesn't mean he's lying. I mean, he could be confused, right? He's not creative enough to come up with a guy named Angelo Nigri. Let's take a listen to stupid. One day, as vice president, the government keeps fastidious records of how many miles you travel in government planes.

And so there's a big headline. Biden travels, I forget what it was, a million miles on Air Force Two and so on and so forth. And I'm getting on the train to go home, which the Secret Service are great. They're with me here today, all 800 of you. Pause. Reminder, he's told this thing six times already, and it's been debunked as far as times, and go ahead. Kidnapped aside, they're wonderful.

And I was getting on the train because they didn't like me getting on the train, Congressman, because it's a more dangerous circumstance. You can stop people from fixing on tracks, et cetera. Yeah, you can run into corn pop in the fucking caboose. I was going home to see my mom, who was sick, and one of the conductors I've known for years walked up and said, Joey, baby! Grabbed my cheek. Not a joke.

And I thought that he was going to get shot. True story. And I said, no, no, it's okay. We've known each other. He said, Joey, big deal. A million miles or wherever it was, a million miles on Air Force Two. He's doing an Italian. Come on, Joey.

You know how many miles you travel on Amtrak? I said, no, I don't know how many miles. He said, we calculated it at the retirement dinner. We calculated it at the retirement dinner. He said, 36 years, 119 days a year, back and forth. Then his vice president said, we figure you've done X number of trips. It adds up to 1,200,000 miles on Amtrak. That's his big brag.

And then Angie said this to me, grabbing my ass cheek. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know that? Oh my God, help us. Negri retired from Amtrak, by the way, the guy he references, in 1993, Retired from Amtrak, by the way, the guy he references, in 1993, meaning he didn't work there when Biden was vice president. Again, you know, and he died in May of 2014, making some versions of the story impossible. Again, mixing up the dates. I'm the worst with chronological. It's unclear if Biden modified the timing of the story in response to criticism earlier this year. He said it happened in my fourth or fifth year as vice president toward the end of my term or seven years into his time as a vice president. Are you interested in the real story? Kinda. But the new telling of the story also clashes with facts because Biden didn't reach one million miles aboard Air Force Two until September of 2015, according to CNN. They don't

lie about Joey. They got him elected. Biden told the reliable laugh line as he promoted his recently signed $1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure bill, which boosts funding for Amtrak. That's not throwing good money off the bad, huh? They have never made a profit, ever. They lose millions every year. Anything this jerk-off touches, I swear to God, if they kicked him off the train

20 years ago, they'd be in the fucking black. See this picture right here? What you don't know is two seconds after that was snapped, that train's going to hit him right in the ass. He's going to go flying right over the press. Poor bastard. They're actually torturing him. Biden, 79, is the oldest ever president, and his critics accuse him of being in mental decline. Oh, I'm glad you threw that into the

story. Nobody knew that. That's tremendous reporting, Dick Cheese. Remember what that is, some type of yogurt stuff? Oh my god, that one even made me sick when I wrote it. I had to go upstairs and get a swig of, you know what, the Pepto. Do you guys like my dark poetry? Ah! How about that for a segment? You don't want me to sit by the fireplace dressed like the devil doing dark poetry? Dallas is a filmmaker, and he's itching to fucking shoot something outside this room. Other than my AR-15, which is not zeroed in. The bullet went behind me the first time I used it. Striking a very unhappy instructor. I told you, that's why I don't like where I go to shoot.

They fucking, I can't work with people breathing down, they watch every, and I understand, they had a shooting there by accident. I told it on the show, no need to rehire. But I can't do anything. If my wife's watching me and I'm trying to tie my shoes, I can't do, now you, that's kind of funny because what I do for a living,

I'm in front of people live and he wears from, you anywhere from 100 to 106. And he didn't get that one. Listen. Anyways, let's get on to this silly show. I'm having a bald diarrhea. Speaking of diarrhea, Mark Meadows, Meadows is maligned. Mark Meadows was sort of a few months ago an enemy

of Trump, right? He was going to, I don't know, I can't even remember. I'm sorry. I'm like Biden, I think he's on Amtrak 11 times and 12 miles. Mark Meadows facing the looming prospect of criminal contempt of Congress charge is suing to block a subpoena from the January 6th committee, which is the biggest hoax going. Do you understand? You guys don't know this because, well, maybe you do. Do you know the government has tons, tons, tons of footage of January 6th that they're not releasing to the public,

even though the Republicans are asking for it? Why is that? the Republicans are asking for it? Why is that? Why are some people that were indicted and some were not, co-conspirators, doing the same shit right next to each other? There's one guy who was direct,

he had red all red on, his face was painted red, red MAGA hat, red telling people what to do. Nobody knows anything about him. Anyways, so they have a committee looking into what Trump knew, you know. Pelosi is a cancer on this country. How this bitch has lasted this long just tells me how emasculated you white guys are on the right.

January 6th committee arguing that it is unconstitutionally intrudes, this is Meadows argument, his lawyer, on former President Donald Trump's powers to invoke executive privilege. That's what his counselor is saying. The former White House Chief of Staff, Meadows, filed the suit Wednesday afternoon in U.S. District Court in Washington against Speaker Nancy Yeast Infection Pelosi. There she is, seen there, a little dehydrated. Look at that neck. I could cut those cords with a fucking... The members of the Capitol riot panel and the committee itself.

That's what he's saying. His attorney says he's been put in an untenable position of choosing to defy the committee and risk criminal prosecution or defy his former boss, Donald Trump, an attempt to assert executive privilege to block his testimony. I'd go with the Trumpy.

Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss? The select committee acts absent any valid legislative power and threatens to violate long-standing principles of executive privilege and immunity that are constitutional origin and of constitutional origin and dimension. The suit filed by Meadows attorney George Terwinger contends the January 6th select panel has signaled that it's preparing to hold Meadows in criminal contempt of Congress for refusing to cooperate, a move that would send the matter to the Justice Department for potential criminal charges. I don't think you want anything going to the Justice Department if you're a Republican right now,

since it's loaded with woke pieces of garbage. The FBI, Pentagon, all needs to be douched. The panel has rejected Meadows' claim, noting that current President Joe Biden has not asserted privilege to block Meadows' testimony. Trump, a former president, has no role in asserting privilege anymore, they say, a position recently supported by another federal judge in Trump's own lawsuit against the committee. Asked about the new lawsuit,

select panel chair rep Bernie Thompson, angry black Mississippi, said the panel still planned to move forward with the holding Meadows in contempt of Congress next week. I quote him. I heard it here in that little bar in there. Good night, everybody. We will fight it out in court and we will move with as much expeditious format as we can, he said. And Mark Meadows replied to that.

Fuck you, mother! Oh, that's not going to help you. Another panel member, Rep. Adam fucking traitor, two-faced cocksucker, Kinzinger, Republican, rhino, Illinois, said of the lawsuit, sounds like he's trying to delay. Why does he, why do they even ask him what he... Who gives a fuck what you think?

Exactly. Puffer. Puffer. I'm all in. Hey, guys. This is the last episode I'll put out before the Nick DiPaolo Show merchandise promo code expires. Make sure to grab official Nick DiPaolo Show t-shirt or hat

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Right here on the show, a great friend of mine. Let's keep it going here. Headline, dumb devices. This one gave me a little pleasure. The outage at amazon.com Inc.'s cloud computing arm left thousands of people in the U.S. without working fridges, room, what's it say? Roombas, doorbells, highlighting just how reliant people have become, stupid people, on the company as the internet of things proliferates across homes. Excuse me.

Why you would ever let something like this in your house is beyond me. Do you understand? You're already being watched 24-7, probably through your computer screen or whatever. watch 24-7, probably through your computer screen or whatever. But I did a story about a year ago on this show where, what the fuck, a lady said something and the thing answered her? It was the creepiest. Anyways, the disruption upended. So they had a, you know, blackout.

It upended packages, package deliveries, took down major streaming services, prevented people from whacking off all over the nation, from getting into Walt Disney. They couldn't get into Walt Disney theme parks. This is a tragedy. Affected Amazon services included the voice assistant Alexa, the snobby, nosy bitch, and Ring Smart doorbell unit. Oh, my God.

You guys have no idea. Irate device users tweeted their frustration to Ring's official account, with many complaining that they spent time, I guarantee you 99% of them are Democrats, rebooting or reinstalling their apps and devices before finding out on Twitter that there was a general Amazon Web Service outage. Here's a report from ABC, so I know it's horse shit. David Muir, fucking legacy media, lying pigs.

Go ahead. Amazon's web server is suffering a crippling outage today. Delivery trucks halted for a time and taking parts of the internet with it. Oh, no. Not only affecting Amazon, but reportedly many other major services, like Netflix, Disney. Oh, Christ. No. Some of the smart devices right in your own home. Like what? My wife's giant vibrating cucumber. That massive Amazon server outage temporarily crippling some of the world's most popular online services. Yeah, he just said that. Potentially impacting millions of people at home hit with slowdowns trying to use smart devices like Alexa,

buy airline tickets, and stream movies and TV shows. Even Amazon package deliveries. Even Amazon package deliveries. It's a bigger tragedy for the people who put out the propaganda movies on Netflix so they can brainwash you in the TV shows. They want to keep you. I watch everything on TV with that in my head, knowing I don't care if it's a commercial for AT&T and Lily and those big giant delicious tits or people wonder why she's so popular a great actress

has nothing to do with she has the best set of lungs ever with it anyways I'm just saying when you watch TV remember it's not even about the show. It's not even, like, I always use this as an example. Survivor, a show like Survivor that's been on for years, right? You know what that's for? It's to pit, they pretend to pit the genders against each other, right? Some years the women beat the guy. That's all it's about. All the shit like that reality, all of it, the goddamn Food Network beat Bobby Flay. Somehow the white guy is the asshole in the show. It's his own show and they get to poke fun at him and shit. It's all propaganda, folks. Yes, we can be entertained by it. I'm just saying, keep that in mind. I knew it in fifth grade. Sorry. Grew up in a very cynical household.

Anyways, well, fuck, I don't want to hear anymore. Fuck him. Multiple rain users even said they weren't able to get into their homes without access to the phone app, which was down. Oh my, they couldn't get into their homes. Oh, for you.

Well, why don't you ask the brothers up the street who are going to be doing a smash and grab in your kitchen tomorrow? When I say brothers, I mean white Chinese brothers, you know, black, German, everybody who breaks into houses. Others said they weren't able to turn on their Christmas lights. Jesus Christ, this is a tragedy. Our smart light bulbs stopped responding to voice commands. Really? I didn't even know you could do that. You're fucking doing verbal commands to your light bulb. Burn my wife. Basic household chores also become impossible for some. The outage prompted women to actually masturbate with their hands

to reflect on the pitfalls of having a smart home that overly depends not only on the internet, but one company in particular. While those with dumb homes, they call them, yeah, we're the dummies that don't have the

Alexa listening in watching, gloated that their fridges and light switches were working just fine. It was the people with the smart devices. Turn off the lights. The party's over. Several of the affected AWS operations were on the East Coast. AWS said about nine hours later that it had resolved the network device issues

that led to the outage. And that is it. That's it. That's enough for today, for the week. Right here. Right here. Thank you guys so much. right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Right here. Thank you guys so much.

Keep your eye on the news, please. And tell people who think like you and us, if you want to go to a show where some guy cuts loose and will probably be arrested soon at his house, go to the Nick DiPaolo Show at thecomicsgym.com. The best thing you could do for us to keep this going is sign up. I know things are tough with Biden in office and two by fours are $48 an inch and gas is $17.95 a gallon. But you know what? I'm more important than either one of those.

Who needs wooden gas? of those. Who needs wooden gas? Comicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. Merchandise sales end soon, so get in on that. And cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a friend or relative. Got a couple waiting for me. Go to cameo.com and click on my profile and I will roast them. That is it. You guys think, and I will say it, you're very welcome. Thank you so much again for making a good week. Have a great weekend. We'll see you back here on Monday. Take care, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music