The Nick DiPaolo Show - BLM Member Attempts Assassination | Nick Di Paolo Show #664

Episode Date: February 17, 2022

Hillary again... TX's Paxton sues Biden...again. Putin trolls Biden...again. BLM member tries to kill candidate. Good Samaritans defend cops. University cry-babies.

I am so sick and tired of the liberal agenda that is destroying our country from our schools to our workplaces to our media. It's literally everywhere. Well, everywhere maybe, but not this show. Never. Here you get the truth, unfiltered and unapologetic. I don't care if I hurt feelings or if I take a position that isn't agreeable or if I step on somebody's toes, I call them the way I see them and I put it out there for free. To keep this show free, I need your help. Please go to nickdip.com and make a contribution or even better, subscribe at thecomicsgym.com or on Patreon today and get an extra encore show each day. Discounts on merchandise and a whole lot more. Thank you guys so much for watching, sharing, and contributing

to the best show, in my opinion, on the internet and the most honest. You guys make it happen. guitar solo Oh yeah, oh yeah, welcome to the show, final day of the week on a Thursday, at least for us. I don't know what you guys are doing, you know, it can be a long week at Papa John's, but Jesus Christ! Fuckin' A! What do they wait for us to fucking start the show? It's like the third day in a row the sirens. Fuckin' unbelievable. Nobody's ever, I couldn't get down my street yesterday. Nice residential area. Of course, young chick crashed into somebody. Oh my, yay, yay. Blocked.

I don't know how. It's a sunny day. It's a sunny day in Georgia. A nice tree lined with an intersection, light stop signs. How do you, what the fuck? Probably texting. Oh, God help us us ladies and gentlemen you know i'm saying kiss my ass hey mind your business anyways um what the fuck else did i want to say i can't

remember how the show goes you get too much shit at the beginning fucking n words and what else? I don't know. Sweet home Alabama. I'm trying to get the solo down. It's about fucking 19 minutes. That's something you want to do when you're 60. I'm fascinated. It supposedly keeps your mind sharp.

I'm not actually probing that, am I? Right now. Anyways, that's it. Let's get on with the goddamn show. In the N-word segment today, a man was kicked off an Allegiant flight. First of all, why are you flying that piece of garbage? For wearing a mask,

you know, COVID mask that he wrote, let's go Brandon on. They kicked him off. Can you fucking imagine anything? Remember the first amendment and stuff? Can you imagine? And they kick him off because, you know, he didn't, he wasn't going to take it off. And then this is the airlines logic. They said, we kicked them off. They can't even admit to what they did. They're fascist pigs, and they want to crunch free speech. They actually said because he was being unruly. Well, you made him unruly. He's got the mask on. Just walk by him being adult.

Yeah, like there was no anti-Trump paraphernalia on planes when he was the president. Or anyway, are you dog style? What is going on here? What the hell? Do I ever write now next time I get on a plane, anything that offends me, I'm going to speak up. Like a black chick at a tank top, you know, with her ass crack hanging out, wearing fucking, you know, she's 400 pounds and she's wearing Lululemons. That offends me. It does. Get her off the guard. Is that how we're going to play the game? He did nothing illegal. See, these people are on a power

trip. The left is. And you know what? Half the country's all right with it. So you know what, sir? Good for you. Next time I fly, I'm putting something really delicious on my mask. Like Hillary's fucking salmon breath pig. What? What does that even mean?

Anyways, let's roll on with the show. I'm sick of everything. For a story tonight, ladies and gentlemen, what do we got? Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Oh, wow. In the make me a sandwich segment tonight, Hillary on Twitter yesterday, as you know, she's feeling the heat or pretending not to feel the heat. I don't know why she would get nervous.

She seems, you know, immune to any laws that passed. Trump, this is her tweet yesterday in regards to the Durham investigation and her, you know, basically being guilty of spying on Trump. She says, again, the thick-ankled dogface who always blames the right-wing media, the whole one network. Fuck. Trump and Fox are desperately spinning up a fake scandal to distract from his real ones. What's that, becoming president again in a few years? So it's a day that ends in Y. Oh, that's a good one. The day it ends in Y with her face buried in some girl's Y. Listen, the more his misdeeds are exposed, the more they lie.

For those interested in reality, here's a good debunking of their latest nonsense. She's a malignant cunt. And she refers us to an article from Vanity Fair because, you know, Vanity Fair does hard-hitting. When I want good political news that's right down the middle and not left-leaning, I go to Vanity Fair. That's how you know she's in deep shit. Vanity Fair? Are she that jaded? Oh, my God. Here's what the Atlantic had to say. Want to get you a quote from one of your brothers or some shit? You piece of... Here, have this again.

She's a malignant cunt. Exactly. I couldn't say it enough. What is she? She's a malignant cunt. Exactly. Ugh! Calm down, Nick.

Calm the fuck down. Anyways. Calm down, Nick. Calm the fuck down. Anyways, Durham's filing never said the White House data that came under scrutiny was from the Trump era. In fact, lawyers for the data scientists who helped develop the data analysis in question said this happened

during, wait for it, Barack Obama's presidency. Hum-a-na-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-hum-a-na. during, wait for it, Barack Obama's presidency. Hummin' a humma humma humma humma humma. What Trump and some news outlets are saying is wrong. Attorneys Jody Westby and Mark Rash told the Times. What the fuck? Exactly. Thank you.

The cyber security researchers were investigating malware in the White House, not spying on the Trump administration. How can you say that with a straight face, you evil pricks? That's a nice necklace you got on there, lady. What the fuck is... Somebody try to strangle her with paint tape? What the hell is she doing? Ugh, hiding her fucking herpes simplex. Not spying on the Trump campaign,

and to our knowledge, all of the data they used was non-private DNS data before Trump took office. Really? Is that what it was? Can you fucking imagine? Can you imagine? In other words, Trump and company got the whole thing hilariously mortifyingly incorrect. First of all,

it wasn't Trump and Fox News that ginned up this story. It was Durham, a federal prosecutor who's been doing research for the last almost three years on this. So how are you blaming Fox for ginning it up? It's an actual... Or Trump.

Or Trump. Oh, my fucking... You people, and you still vote for this? Honest to God, we need a genocide. How do we do a litmus test if you vote Democrat? I'm serious. Want to clean up the world in a hurry? Ugh.

They got the whole thing hilariously mortifyingly incorrect. As opposed to, um, as opposed to the rest of the mainstream network, they were right about the Russian collusion. Oh, what the fuck? Ugh. But fear not. We're sure they'll

issue a lengthy correction, this is them being sarcastic, in heartfelt apology to the people whose reputations they impugned and the ones Trump suggests whose reputations they impugned. How about Trump and his family and anybody who voted for him? Where's the fucking

apology from Don Lemon and all the other jerk-offs from MSNBC? Rachel Maddow realizes how wrong she was. She's not even doing her show right now. She took a nice sabbatical. Where's your apology for that? Or for the Kavanaugh hearings? Or for the Covington thing that you guys got wrong?

You know, little minor things. Or the Lafayette Square fire. They said Trump cleared that out when he wanted to give the speech with the Bible. You guys haven't been right about anything forever. No apologies. How about the Cu, the Cuomos, who you guys had him as the next president. Where's that apology? Your sister's box. Can you imagine they think they wrote an apology after all the shit they did to Trump? And the country, by the way. That was the most, the Russia collusionusion thing when it turns out this douchebag was actually colluding

with Russia. All that, Trump said they were spying, everybody laughed at him. All true. Where's those apologies? Ugh. Can we just get it on please? I bought my AR over a year ago. Let's, it's getting dust on it.

Fix that real fast. I know, I got a, I got a guy who did two tours of Afghanistan I'm gonna show me how to pick up a I guess I did I didn't know this I went to the shooting range it's indoor and I guess you're not supposed to write like Pelosi on the paper target nobody told me anyways let's on. See you in court again is the headline. Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, Republican, on Wednesday filed a lawsuit, President Joe Biden's administration against Biden's administration, over federal rules that mandate mask wearing in American airports and on planes. Good for you, Paxton. I'm going to stop flying out of Dallas, Fort Worth.

The Centers for Disease Control, why are we still listening to them who have been misleading us for a solid three years? I'd ask a homeless guy taking a shit in the park for advice on COVID before I listen to these cocksuckers. CDC mandate was unlawfully issued. It was not, he's right, it was not authorized by Congress. That's what I say.

These are recommendations from an agency. These are people who are elected officials. So why did we ever follow this shit? It was not authorized by Congress and the CDC did not put the mandate up for notice and comment, which is ordinarily required for regulations like this. PACS reps Beth Van Dune of Texas Public Policy Foundation said,

oh, I hate their titles, yet a person's failure to comply with the administration's mask mandate carries criminal penalties. How is that possible if it's not a law? Who's this broad again? I hope she's on my side. She's kind of cute. What? Okay. Oh, I'm sorry. Those eyebrows are freaking me out. Get out of there. In a tweet from Paxton, in a tweet, Paxton noted that Wednesday's legal action represents his 22nd lawsuit against the Biden administration. Have you won any of them? Why do you even go to court?

Do you know who the judges are? Fucking lefties from Yale and shit. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. They're out of order. Dog Day Afternoon, if you have anyone. Was that Dog Day?

No. No. I think that's the other one when he played. Whatever. Just filed my 20. This is Paxton bragging. Just filed my 22nd lawsuit against Biden. This time regarding anti-science, virtue signaling masks.

That's exactly what it is. Airlines and airports. Masks on planes are not only silly. They're silly. but illegal too. Proud to join at TPPF, a bunch of other ats, in restraining Dems, a lawless government. End the mask mandates, he wrote. Presently, the federal mandate is scheduled to end on March 18th. However, as Reuters notes, the rules have been

extended on multiple occasions. Don't you believe for a second they're not going to keep... Somebody's inventing a variant right now. You know how you watch TV and every night there's a new drug? Try Clevovlex. Try Tranexon. They just make... I swear to God, they're making up variants right now. Have you been getting the HAV ones lately? The HAV? HIV. Oh, HIV. Yeah, new drug for that now. It's a little late, ain't it? The fuck, who cares? Suck a dick and die, I say.

Anyways, Magic Johnson, the only guy to fucking get AIDS and put on 60 pounds of muscle. I had a bed on my seat. I go, what am I working out five times a week for? I could just blow a male figure skate on me. Those are

on my CDs, folks. Get them. Anyways, the rules have been extended multiple occasions. Face coverings are also still required on trains and buses. Oh, no. I can't get on that Greyhound today to L.A. Director of the Centers for required on trains and buses. Oh, no, I can't get on that Greyhound today.

To L.A. Director of the Centers for Disease Control, Dr. Rochelle. You know who I'm talking about, right? That's right, Rochelle Walensky. And I don't mean to be sexist here, but this is a female mentality to be overcautious, and it just is. That's not a male trait.

Never was. We're kind a male trait. Never was. We're kind of stupid. Take unnecessary risks. Seriously. But now that this country's been feminized to death, you're going to get this nanny state. Fucking horse shit. And guys have acted weird to blame because we let them fucking whatever. I'd like to grab her hair and punch her in the back of the neck.

What? That's not in there. Anyways, Walensky here, Walensky and what's the state called? Smith-Lawansky, stated this week that her agency will not make modifications to its mask guidance at this time. You won't?

You're not going to fuck with our heads? She says, listen to this. Here it comes. Our hospitalization rates are high. Yeah. You know why they're high somebody goes in because they have uh i don't know a fucking shoulder problem they take the temperature it's high and then they go they test them and they go oh you're positive but you're fine no no and it counts not to mention they're still counting before there was any vaccine they got those numbers baked into the cake

our hospitalization rates are high walensky said no you're high our death rates are still high so where where are you living so as we work towards that and as we are encouraged by the current trends, we are not quite there yet, she said. It's Uncle Junior. Her comments come as Democrat governors across the country are easing mask mandates because they know there's an election coming up and it's just not flying. New York State registered, or they're worried about the convoy coming here. New York State registered a 38% drop in coronavirus cases last week. Well, Governor Kathy Hochul seen here who looks like a fucking twin of Whitmer. She got rid of the mask mandate for business and stuff, but kids still have to. So look at her. the mask mandate for business and stuff,

but kids still have to, so. Look at her. She's like Whitmer's, isn't she? Power hungry hooah. She wasn't even elected. She's not even officially, she filled in. She's filling, Cuomo got the boot. Nobody elected her. And she's making these decisions.

New York, you get what you, I don't know. I guess she was next in line, that's how it were. But the point is she wasn't elected. Nobody picked her. Am I right? I am. Anyways, hey, I'm glad to welcome our new sponsor to the show, Super Speciosa. Looking for an alternative to your morning coffee or those sugary energy drinks?

I know I am. Super Speciosa is here with your new little helper. Kratom powder and capsules and tablets. That's Kratom, K-R-A-T-O-M. Super Speciosa has harnessed the power of the plant to give folks that burst of energy to start their day. I could use something different. I'll tell you, coffee's killing my teeth.

Pure Akratum leaf has also been used to help treat anxiety, depression, and provide pain relief. It just helps you feel good without feeling impaired. And each strain is a unique small batch blend. No two strains are exactly the same. I love using it as a pre-workout supplement. It's better than stuff those guys at the gym are using. And I usually drink coffee

before I work. Then you get dehydrated. This is really good stuff. I recommend their green strain capsules for beginners. And Super Speciosa is so confident in their product, they promise 100% satisfaction or your money back guaranteed. The Kratom now, if you try the Kratom now, you're going to get 20% off. Go to GetSuperLeaf.com slash NickDip and get 20% off with promo code NickDip. And that's not just for the first time buys. Use my code as often as you order. That's GetSuperLeaf.com slash NickDip and use promo code NickDip for 20% off. These statements

have not been evaluated by the FDA, which means it's probably good. The product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any diseases. We thank them, Speciosa, for sponsoring this show today. Appreciate it. Anytime we have new business. My boy, Putin. I really get a kick out of this guy. Ever see him walk? He swings that out.

You can tell he took martial arts. He walks like a, right? That left arm is kind of straight, like. Well, he's KGB. Yes. That's what I was looking for. KGB walk. Fucking, can you imagine him staring at stupid Biden going, oh my God, I could fucking distract this guy with a shiny penny. Anyways, Putin, Russian forces, Putin trolls Biden is the headline. Russian forces massed along Ukraine's borders have increased by approximately 7,000 troops. Folks, you know a troop is one soldier, right? I always thought that was kind of weird. When I think of a troop, I think of a bunch of people. But it's a soldier, right? Ever think of that?

Ever think of that, mate? I'm your kid brother. That's a godfather. These kids don't know anything. I know you do. I forgot you guys are moving. Approximately, by the way, Gianna's here. Dallas's lovely girlfriend is here.

She's got a real sense of style. She's got the beret on backwards and shit. She looks like she's going to do an oil painting in about 10 minutes in the park. Increased by approximately 7,000 troops in recent days as the United States alleged Wednesday evening, despite claims from Moscow it was pulling back. You mean they lied? Oh, I don't believe it. For Christ's sake, they just had a figure skater. She's 11 years old. They drugged her up.

She won the gold. Everybody's like, yeah, she's fine. So what? She's got a hand on my mustache and took a seven-pound dump before the singles. A senior U.S. administration official said the increase renders Russia's assertion of withdrawal false. Sort of like me when I was a girl and I was rubber. Yeah, I pulled out. What, you're late? I got to go.

And warned President Vladimir Putin's public openness to diplomacy was a guise. A guise what? Said the fag. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? Russian military armor crossing the Crimea bridge and supposedly heading back into Russia. I think we have a little clip of that. Check it out. New video overnight released by the Russian Ministry of Defense. Consider the source here. Allegedly shows that tanks and troops are returning from Crimea on a train after exercises, but officials in the U.S. and Ukraine are still skeptical. They insist they see no evidence of a pullback yet. And CNN has been unable to confirm if the video actively or accurately reflects the situation on the ground. Something coming out of

a pink tunnel. It's kind of a sexy metaphor thing going on there. Anyways, that's supposedly Russian armor heading back into Russia from Crimea, according to Putin. I think they got some footage from It's a Small World or somewhere. I just fucking ran that knowing Biden. My buddy Pete Correale, great comedian, had a great line. Right after 9-11, you know, his in-laws, no, his grandparents, his grandparents came to visit him. They wanted to see Ground Zero. He goes, they're both like 88 years old, so I just took them to a construction site.

Oh, God, I love comedy. Maybe I should try it. I don't know why it says that in there right now, but... Good morning, my neighbors! Hey, fuck you! Every indication... Oh, that was... I guess that was Ukrainian border and Putin.

Every indication we have now is they mean only... This is Biden talking about Putin. To publicly offer to talk and make claims about de-escalation while privately mobilizing for war. The official, speaking for a shithead, said,

Do you want to go to war? Come on. Do you want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony. The new estimates would place the number of Russian forces north of 150,000. Why don't we do that on our border with Mexico? Seriously. You know why?

Because it's all bullshit, folks. Even Trump's wall and shit, that's all just clabba-dabba-dabba. Because we have a military. If you wanted to stop people from coming in, you it right even the wall all they talk about a wall Paxton's bragging about putting a wall up in Texas you got flamethrowers machine guns what do you need a fucking wall let's go back old school landmines shit like that not big ones just ones it'll take a foot off. But then, you know, 150,000 figure President Joe Biden cited in a televised address early this week before passing out and smacking his head

on a coffee table. Western leaders had already greeted Russia's claims of withdrawal with skepticism. On Tuesday, Biden said during a speech in the East Room that somebody had to show him where it was, that a withdrawal of Russian troops would be good, but that he had yet to see any evidence that such a pullback was underway. Would you know it if you did see it? He's watching fucking full house reruns thinking it's him in Congress. Our analysis indicate that they remain very much a threatening position, Biden said. And the fact remains, right now,

Russia has more than 150,000 troops encircling Ukraine and Belarus and along Ukraine's border. And then he said, I have business over there. I don't want disturbed. Sounds like Michael from The Godfather talking to Frankie Five Angels about Hyman Roth. The senior official again warned Russia could use a false pretext, which we know this shit happens all the time, a false pretext for an attack,

including making claims NATO activity or an incursion into Russian territory, or alleging atrocities were occurring in the eastern Donbass region, where I had a duplex with Dallas for a year before I met him. That made no sense. It was a good time. Thanks for backing me up. Donbass region, which has been under the control of Russian-backed separatists since 2014. We should expect more false reports from Russian state media over the coming days, the official said. We don't know from the false pretext, well, we don't know what form it'll take. I'm sorry, these lights are burning my fucking rods and cones out of my head. But we hope the world is ready.

And then Biden talked to some guy that works at Putin, and here's the phone call. Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander. We intercepted Dragonfly Wolf 10. Colorful names. Here we are. We have them in sight. We have them in sight. Abort the operation

immediately. Immediately. Boy, the guy laying it on heavy. Jesus, that makes me laugh. Abort operation immediately. Pass remote control. The announcements delivered on an early evening briefing call painted a stark picture as the U.S. and Europe wait on tender hooks for Putin to signal his intentions. Is this a book I'm reading?

American officials have said the window is open for a potential invasion, but that the enigmatic Russian leader will still need to make the final decision. Really? We're not going to decide what he does? It's up to Putin. Thanks for clearing that up. What kind of comment was that, you jackasses? Let's move on to my favorite group. Black Lives Splatter. Just made it up. Put that on a t-shirt

and make a few bucks. BLM member tries to kill white Jewish mayoral candidate in Louisville. Let that sink in. How's diversity working in this country, folks? Coming together? Oh, yeah, it's great. It's a nice, uh, uh, Quintez, or Quintez Brown, 21, was charged late Monday. Wow, doesn't look like a Jew hater. It doesn't. They usually, you know. Oh, God, he's still wearing a down jacket in July.

Was charged late Monday with attempting murder and four counts of wanton endangerment after Greenberg was shot at in his campaign headquarters that morning. Where do you hear the details here? No one was injured in the shooting, but a bullet gragrazed Greenberg sweater and shirt. Here's the audio of the incident. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Brown, a former intern and editorial columnist for the Courier-Journal, pleaded not guilty.

He's a journalist. This fucking kid is a journalist. It gets better. The war is on. There's a civil war and the Republicans don't know it yet. Anyways, I'll tell you why. Courier journalist, by the way. This is what colleges are churning on.

Pleaded not guilty at his arraignment Tuesday where a judge said his bail at $100,000, get this, BLM bailed him out yesterday with a cashier's check, which is basically your tax money in Louisville. Brown disappeared for about two weeks last year. He was found on a park bench in New York, said Rob Eckert, his attorney. New York, said Rob Eckert, his attorney. Here he is a little while back with my favorite racist pig, Joy Reid, Whitey Hater Supreme. You're from the home state of the Senate Majority Leader. What do you want him to know? Well, I want you to know that, you know, we want common sense gun reform. And if you're not going to give us that, then we're going to get everyone out here to vote, and we're going to vote you out of office.

So if you want to keep your job, then give us what we want, but what we need, what humans need. We need common sense gun reform. Get rid of assault rifles. Come on. Yeah. I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all.

And I'm black, and I'm black, and I'm black, y'all. They bailed this motherfucker out. Meanwhile, people up in Canada, truckers, people who gave them money to help the truckers, Washington Post, they doxed them. They're calling people, asking them why and harassing them, shutting down small businesses that donated. This guy takes a shot at a politician. Nobody's saying shit here. Seem like, I'm not being sarcastic, he seemed reasonable back then. So how'd it work? It didn't work out. So he's a gun control guy, by the way, which is hilarious. This is not a hate crime.

This is his lawyer talking. Sorry, folks. What happens when you quit smoking? Shit starts coming up from fourth grade. This is not a hate crime, his lawyer. Of course not. A black guy shooting at a white guy. That's not a hate crime.

Let me ask you a question. Reverse the races, which we should have done, damn it. I can't even remember a category. Reverse the races. You think that would have been a hate crime? All day, every day, 24-7. This is not a hate crime. It's a mental hell. Oh, it's one of those isolated, he's

just wacky. He's so wacky he works for a mainstream newspaper in the town. I can't take it no more. This is not a hate crime. It's a mental case, Egert told the Courier Journal on Tuesday. His writing advocates for the ideas of,

we're talking about the kid now. His writings advocate for the ideas of communism, socialism, liberation, all the shit MSNBC and CNN are for, and has criticized gun-loving Republicans. That kid is, and he tries to shoot somebody. Greenberg and four members of his staff were at a meeting in his campaign office

in the Butchertown Market building when a man entered the doorway about 10, 15 a.m. and began shooting at him. Here is Craig Greenberg, the candidate, explaining what happened. Walked into our office. When we greeted him, he pulled out a gun, aimed directly at me, and began shooting. Get this through your head.

Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Black kids sound a lot like Pesci. Do you believe that, though? Bailed him out. I'm being dead serious here. Do you Republicans realize you're in a civil war? You just had a left-wing journalist, and there's a million of them.

He's barely out of college. Try to kill a white candidate. Nobody's saying shit. A white candidate, nobody's saying shit. Joy Reid had the kid on the show a few years ago, so you know his head's in the right play. What the fuck? Republicans, people on the right, it's already started. I want to see somebody busting into Dick Durbin's office with a gun.

Don't shoot him, I'm just saying. Not even a real gun. Again, I go with a super soaker filled with cat piss. That's kind of gross. Hey guys, take a second and go to nickdip.com and click on the store button, please. There you'll find official Nick DiPaolo Show merch, including the hoodie and the beanie, which will keep those of you stuck in the

faggy liberal northeast warm right now. It'll keep that tiny little brain of yours warm. You also find mugs, t-shirts, and all the knicker designs. Again, go to nickdip.com and click on store, and thank you for supporting the show. Every

time you buy a t-shirt, 10% of that goes to breast research on a duck. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore! Anyways, let's move on, shall we? The week's almost coming. I've got to go to a skin doctor, Bucks. I showed you my back.

My wife picked three pounds of mushrooms off it last night. It's not even a fungus. That's what's fucking driving me nuts. They said they did a biopsy. They actually drilled down. This was like four years ago. Asian guy. Pretty good.

He said it tasted like pork. I don't know why he said that. No. It's a form of, you know what, eczema. So every time I work, this started about seven years, six, seven years ago. Every time I'd work out and get a little warm, I'd get these red circles.

It started off one or two. Now after I work out, they're like this fucking big. And it's not ringworm or any of that. It's not Lyme disease. At least, how do they know? Lyme disease tests are like the most fucking useless tests there are. Anyhow, I'm going to go to a doctor

and probably find that I get a week to live. So take it easy. Here's a great story that you're not going to probably hear in the mainstream media. Why? Because it shows when guns and good guys get together that good shit happens. Two armed Good Samaritans, including one, a veteran like my boy Dallas here, helped protect two wounded deputies who were shot while responding to reports of a neighborhood dispute

on Thursday in Peaceful Valley, Washington. Yeah, Peaceful Valley. You can't make this shit up. Peaceful Valley shootout. It's like Rodney King, Officer Coons. You can't make this shit up. And there was another. We pointed out a few this year.

According to the Whatcom County Sheriff's Office, Deputies Ryan Rathburn and Jason Thompson responded to a dispute around 4.20 in the afternoon on February 10th. After arriving on the scene, suspect Joel Young fired his shotgun. So this is, this sounds like an ambush of cops to me. Doesn't it? Or no?

I know they didn't say that, but they wouldn't say that. They were responding to a domestic violence call. Yeah, sure they were. Exactly. Yeah, sure they were. Just like the Rivera and his partner were. And they get ambushed in the fucking... I'm telling you, you can't trust... i look i don't

know for a fact but i'm just saying this is uh how you should be reading this when you read stuff like this you should be asking questions do you think because they're not going to put they were makes gun you know uh anyways joel fired his uh shotgun injuring one of the deputies the second deputy return fire but young shot again injuring the second friggin' deputy in Peaceful Valley. Nearby, they picked the wrong neighborhood. First of all, if you guys

know anything about the state of Washington, for you dummies at home, it's not D.C. It's on the West Coast and it's a lot of militia up there. My type of country. I can't move. I got a show here. 11, 12 people watching.

Nearby armed civilians, Jesse Marshall, see, Marshall, and Cody Dieter, who lived down the street from Young, jumped into action, laid down, listen to this,

laid down cover fire to protect the fallen deputies. He was the best guy around. Frickin' look at this. You don't want to mess certain, you know what I mean? There's actually some white neighborhoods you might not want to wander into, but Joel Young here is just a fuckin' nitwit. Let's take a look at the video, shall we?

We got the kids inside. Pause. This is the veteran. This is the good guy in the neighborhood look at that tattoo i might shave my head just to get that i know i'm 60 but boy it would freak everybody out on thanksgiving look at that God bless this guy this is a veteran he heard gunshots him and his buddy they were actually taking care of the kids that had put the kids away. This is what, this is the best story of the day. Go ahead. Went in, got guns to return fire to come out and handle the situation.

They got the injured deputy in the garage, then heard another shot that hit a second deputy. But when I came around the corner he was in the doorway and I unloaded just to try to get him to go away so we could get these guys back. They looked after both injured deputies in that garage. How about that Dallas? First they provide cover and then they drag the wounded guy. Everything about it's right. Right, right? Fucking A. A third neighbor also jumped in to help and all three were able to put the deputies out of the line of fire and into a nearby garage where they rented first aid until backup arrived. Both deputies, I'm sorry, both deputies were transported to a nearby hospital.

As of Monday, both deputies have been released from the hospital. Thank God to these good Samaritans who had guns. See, folks? And this happens more than you know because they don't report when shit like this happens. And once again, jerk-offs, gun control guys like Kintez Brown yapping about assault

rifles when 99% of the fuck... I'm going a little high with that. Okay, let's say 90% of the murders are handguns. Most people that own long rifles are NRA members and know what the fuck they're doing. How many times are you going to have this conversation? Good job by these guys. Sheriff's office said in a statement

that its personnel is extraordinarily blessed that several armed citizens came, and this is why we haven't had a civil war yet. This is why the government hasn't come to your door yet and tried to take you. Came to the deputy's assistance at the critical moments when they were most vulnerable. I have contacted all three of the Good Samaritans, the sheriff said, and expressed appreciation on behalf of myself and all members of law enforcement and their families. The statement read, there'll be a more formal, good, good, I love it, more formal recognition of these humble citizen heroes once more details

of their actions can be released. That's great. They should be honored. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. Sheriff Bill Elfo said in a statement posted on Facebook that he is incredibly proud of the injured deputies, as well as all of the people and organizations who support the sheriff's office, including the citizens who prayed and expressed support. Young was charged with two counts of first-degree attempted murder. He's being held on $5 million bail. Don't let George Soros hear about it. He'll be writing a check tonight. Please join me in continued prayers for the full and complete

recovery of both deputies and comfort for their families and protection of all law enforcement officers and a return to law and order in our state and nation, Sheriff Elpo said. We will, sir. Finally tonight, I think, is it? Yeah, finally. Last story of the week for you people who don't belong or have a monthly subscription. This is your last. But if you get it,

you get some more hilarity. Glad to see that 800 number is working out for us. What the fuck was that about? Jesus H. Are we just not doing it? Did we forget about it? What do I got to do?

Rest my nuts on the mic to get a phone call? That would be gross. Yeah, please don't do that. Yeah, I'm not going to do that. Did spill over the front desk like a fucking great day. Anyways, nice picture, huh, Gianna? Gianna just ran out of the room.

We heard a dry even. Delusional student activist assholes is the headline. In recent months and years, liberal students, like there's any other fucking kind, In years, liberal students, like there's any other fucking kind, have turned to activism to pressure administrators to adopt a slew of left-wing policies. When did we start listening to kids? You guys remember in the late 60s, of course you don't, Reagan, when the Black Panthers took over. He was the governor of California. They took over some school.

And Reagan sent the fucking National Guard. I said, they don't fucking, went out. He just came out and said, said, they're not fucking, went out, he just came out and said, no, they're not having any of this shit. That's when they had balls in there. Recent pressure campaigns have been conducted at several institutions. Good name for colleges today, institution. University of Chicago, in an op-ed in the Chicago Maroon, great paper, in the Chicago Maroon student organization UChicago Against Displacement, said they believe that the South Side is owed reparations and that the university exists as a legacy of chattel slavery yet. You still chose to go to school there This is the latest joint by R. Kelly. Old reparations suck my cock.

So the college, they believe, is a legacy of chattel slavery. Yet again, you decided to go there. Such reparations, you see how stupid they get, fucking just on their face? Such reparations, the group said, should take the form of $20 million annual fund for rental assistance in local schools and $1 billion over,

you know they just came up with this when they were high, yeah, put that down, a million, no, make it a billion, fuck. Over 20 years, $50 million annually in grant funding for long-term, true affordable fucking housing. Oh, you poor kids. Delusional. All right, just get the hell out of here. Students demanding shit. I want Trump to get back in there. And they keep making these demands. And he goes to visit the school.

Wouldn't that be great? They build it up all week. Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States. And it's at a student, you know, every student from the college is there. And he comes on and he walks up to the mic. He goes, suck my dick. Thank you. Just fucking leaves. Becomes the greatest popular president. Georgetown University, another institution making the mayor. Law school students at the prestigious Washington, D.C. University

held a sit-in protest earlier this month to demand that the school fire constitutional law professor Ilya Shapiro, because of his suit, I'm hoping. The fuck, is he going to go whack somebody in 1930? Where's your ukulele case? They want him fired, Ilya Shapiro, over a tweet. Get this, a tweet that he put up criticizing, excuse me, I'm not even smoking anymore. What's his cancer? Sorry. God, my wife hears this show. She's got

a fucking shit. Over a tweet, he put up a tweet criticizing Joe Biden for promising to nominate a black woman to the Supreme Court seat, currently held by retiring Justice Stephen Breyer. They think, they don't even, do they know about the Constitution of First Amendment? They think, this is Marxism. This isn't progressive. This isn't Democrat. This is to upend our society as we, they really think if you say something they disagree with, you should be banned from any, you're out, which is how it works in China. Probably coming here soon. Can you imagine that mentality when you were in college?

He just criticized. A lot of people said black people didn't like that Biden, I read last week, black people didn't like that Biden came out and said, I want a black woman. Not all black people agree with that. They want it on merit. And it's insulting to fucking black people and to women and to midgets and fucking hair lips. In addition to demanding Shapiro's ouster, the students also requested that the law school furnish, space. This is Georgetown, by the way. Really bright people, I thought. A space. Listen to this. This is real. They're demanding a space

for law school, that the law school furnishes space for the students, and I'm not making this up. May my mother die in a fiery crash tonight on her Harley that she got for Christmas. fiery crash tonight on her Harley that she got for Christmas. They want a space for them to cry. To cry. We're at a point where students are coming out of class to go to the bathroom to cry. Are we mentally ill? Maybe I should, maybe this is, are they trolling us? This can't be true. They're fucking coming out of class crying. So would I. I used to come out crying because I couldn't understand calculus.

You got to grow up. You're not a kid anymore. You got to grow up. Dean of Students, Mitch Balin, I can't see, my eyes are blurry, sympathetically replied that it's really hard to walk out of a class or meeting in tears, and you should always have a place on campus where you can go.

Now, when you said that, were you diddling your own clit, or was your boyfriend doing it, you fucking half a fag? Please give me a call. How's that for commentary? Finally, University of Washington, the student government at the University of Washington passed a resolution in early January demanding the university implement an admission

quota of 24%. I swear to God, they're just grabbing numbers and fucking with it. 24% for students from Native American backgrounds and attain that goal over the next eight years. What's it, two Indians left in Vermont? Not counting Liz Warren. The student government cited in an increase in harmful and racist actions by faculty towards

BIPOC, people of color, students. Can you imagine? You want us to believe in 2022 professors who are left-wing aren't treating people, students of color, they're treating them dog shit on kids. Specifically towards Alaska Native Americans is all one of them. Indian students as the justification for the resolution. I love that song. I like their old stuff. In the weeks prior to the passage of the resolution, Stuart Riege's,

Stuart Riege, look at this half a girl, a professor of engineering and cocksuck and computer science at the University of Cumgazling had been embroiled in controversy for including a fake land acknowledgement in his course syllabus. I acknowledge that by the labor theory of property, the Coast Salish people can claim historical ownership of almost none of the land currently occupied by the University of Washington.

So he stated something as fact, and he gets in hot water for it. Oh, my God, you lefties, you are going to get... You know what? I'm not even nervous about the oncoming Civil War. You guys don't even know what an assault rifle is. You don't know how to hold a gun. We have all the fucking veterans on our side and cops and most of them. Right, Dallas? You've got plenty of friends, right? I could sit in my house for a couple days. Before we go, I want to thank the people that contribute to this show and keep us up and running. One-time contributions.

We've got a lot of new names here. Avery Solick, Kansas. Joseph Rizzuti, Massachusetts. Great name. Danny McCone of North Carolina. Craig Goodmanson, Washington. Larry Ramey, a buddy in Ohio. Mark Sanders of Florida.

Paul Sagnella, a buddy in Connecticut. Robert Vargas, California. Ryan Schroth, Colorado. Leonardo Fernandez, senior, Florida. Kit Fortney of Michigan, of course. James Rickleman, Oklahoma. Herman Wood, California. Robert Hickman, California. Jeffrey Richards of Pennsylvania. Ray Grooms, West Virginia. I love it. Sean Powell, our buddy in Florida, still alive. That liver's still hanging. Devin McIntyre, Texas.

Austin Pardee, Nevada. Dennis Carroll of Indiana. Some new ones here. Otto and George, Arizona. Lyle Crawford of Canada. Coy Knuth, Arizona. Matthew Arsenault, Minnesota. Jeffrey Alvarez, Florida.

Tom Hazard, great name, New York. Chris in Pennsylvania. And here are some new monthly supporters, which we would really love more. James Ryman Schneider of Washington. Can't tell me he doesn't have an AR. Luis Vizcaño of New York. Mark Purvis, Florida. Omar Fernandez,

the Fernandez brothers of Florida, some patron. That's what it says. Thank you guys all so much for contributing to the show, whether it's daily or monthly. We really do appreciate it. That is it, ladies and gentlemen, for the week.

What time did we start? 1.15? We did, right? That's it, guys, for the week, what time did we start? 1.15? We did, right? All right, that's it, guys, for the week. Don't forget to sign up at thecomicsgym.com and patreon.com. Sign up. That's a monthly thing. You don't have to worry about it. I just show up and scare your kids every night. It's beautiful.

Don't forget nickdip.com. Click the tour button if you want to see if I'm coming to a town near you. And cameo.com. Check, click the tour button if you want to see if I'm coming to a town near you. And, cameo.com. Got a third one this morning

for this week where if you want me to roast a friend or relative or say happy birthday, go to cameo.com. Tell me about the person. I'll make a video

on my phone. It's a lot of fun. People really like it. That is it for the week. You guys think that I will say it. You really like it. That is it for the week. You guys think that I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend, everybody. I'm a man guitar solo Outro Music