The Nick DiPaolo Show - Blood On Biden's Hands | Nick Di Paolo Show #1531

Episode Date: February 26, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Trump trouncing Haley, Blood on Biden's hands and more! Today's episode is sponsored by Naked Wines! Try out Naked Wines & get 6 bottles of wine for just $39.99. Head to https://www.nakedwines.com/NICKDIP & use the code & password NICKDIP Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Good morning, class. Good morning, class. Good morning, class. Class. Shut up! Hello, and welcome to the show on a Monday. How you is? What it was. It's always fucking mine.

Where did that weekend go? I didn't do shit. Tracking my sleep. Apparently I'll be dead in two weeks, it says. Sleep apnea episodes, four every hour last night, it said. I'm going to have to get one of them silly masks. And I didn't even snore up until a few years ago. Great getting old, isn't it?

Well, luckily my wife sleeps in another house. But listen. getting old, isn't it? Well, luckily, my wife sleeps in another house. But listen. That boy is a P-I-G pig. Anyhow, what you guys do? Anything?

Excuse me. Well, they all thought your doorstop was the noise that they heard in the recording. Oh, yes. Let me address that. The doorstop, you know, we live in a house built in 1934. The doorstop's that metal thing that sticks out with a little rubber thing on the end

so your door doesn't smash against the wall. And that thing's just solid. First of all, my dog weighs fucking eight pounds and never came in the room I was sleeping in that night. Because as you know, when you marry, you mix it up once in a while. It's like, no, I'm going back to my place. Take out the fucking dildo, do what you got to do.

So no dog was in my thing. The door was shut. It never opened. So that there is out the window. Also, they're not spring-loaded like some of the ones. They're solid, right? Yeah, this one's solid, exactly. There's no spring.

You stub your toe on this you lose a toe and uh i understand it was kind of a good guess because you didn't know the situation you know but this thing makes no noise but that's i what the fuck it's true it is that's why i'm still using the app i cancel it because once you start getting charged they already got me whacked me for the year so i might they say you can play out charged, they already got me whacked me for the year, so they say you can play out. You know, they already got whatever, the $30. So I'm still doing it. But how many times can you listen to yourself snore the next morning?

It's like, yeah, okay, I know that. I farted at 4.05. What the fuck else you got? It didn't, it picks up little shit like that, but it doesn't pick up me getting up this morning. I couldn't sleep. It was 10 of 7. I go down to the kitchen, and I made a, I was telling Dale, I made this coffee mousse dessert.

They say, I pull up YouTube, and it says you can make them five minutes. They're so full of shit. It would have taken Elon Musk two days to make this. But it was so fucking good. And it doesn't involve any cooking, any fucking it's just instant coffee beat up till it's whipped like a cream and then you beat up heavy cream, mix them

together, there's your mousse and shaved chocolate. It was fucking, anyways me and my wife ate one the Saturday night not thinking that there's caffeine in it. You know, four in the morning we're sparring in the kitchen. And so this morning I get up. I'm fucking, I woke up hungry. I don't know why. And I get downstairs. I go, I'll take a spoonful. There was one left for her. Gone. Anyways,

let's get to it, I guess. That's all I got. Hey, Nick, why don't you turn your thing? Have I ever done the show before? I'm really fucking off today. All right, let's move right to it. Trump trounces that little skinny Indian girl, Nikki Haley. Again, nice woman, smart woman. Read her fucking dad's typical, like, a bio-nuclear, right? The mother's a genius, and I can't even remember what she did. Anyway, Donald Trump defeated Nikki Haley in South Carolina. That's her home state where she was governor.

Primary Saturday night, securing yet another win for the big blonde fella. That's right. They can't believe it, though. The media's still acting surprised. You're so stupid, you fucker. I am your voice. I think the black people vote for him just because they have a power sign he does. The race was called almost immediately after the polls closed at 7 p.m. with Trump

securing all 29 winner take all state delegates with some 65 percent of the vote in. Trump was up roughly 20 points. That's got to be embarrassing. This was a little sooner than we anticipated, and even a bigger win than we anticipated, Trump said to applause on stage at the state fairgrounds in Columbia moments after the victory. I have never, I've never seen, I can't even do it. Forget how to do it. I guess you know who was on, uh... Huh? Gillis hosted SNL. I saw a little one on the sketch. It was funny.

I have never seen the Republican Party as united as it is right now, he said. That's fucking beautiful. That's the new favorite one, is it not? Oh, my God. That's Fiorio Giunta, by the way. Hit man from Italy. Trump was

joined on stage by several South Carolina Republican leaders, including Tim Scott, who despite being appointed to Congress by Haley in 2013, gave her the bird, endorsed Trump after he dropped out of the primary race, and our favorite, let's say, old bachelor, Lindsey, that's right, Lindsey Graham. And what the fuck happened? What the fuck? Anyways, these things, we're going to have a talk about this. It's weird. They change orders when I'm not even looking.

Anyways, Senator Graham, who has endorsed Trump but has butted heads with him in the past, was heavily booed by the crowd when he was introduced. Another man not a lot of people know him. He doesn't do too much television. He happens to be a little bit sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic.

He's been sarcastic. He's been sarcastic. He's being sarcastic....for the left and some of the people on the stage. But I always say, when I'm in trouble on the left, I call up Lindsey Graham and he straightens it out so fast. What does he straighten out? And I'll tell you, no, no, no, no, remember,

remember, in South Carolina, Trump handles it beautiful. I love him. He's a good man. Come up here, Lindsey. Come up here, Lindsey. That's a bad name for a half a fruit cup. Oh, he's short.

Okay, are you ready? Suck it. America, the nightmare you're facing is just about over. Help is on the way. This is the most qualified man to be president of the United States. And let it be said that South Carolina created the biggest political comeback in American history. Talking about Trump. And he got the fuck out.

Yeah. Clip that guy off. Yes. Did you notice that? Exit left in a hurry. He did. But see how he handled it? Fucking came up.

And I'm surprised because he has said some bad shit about Trump as far as Ukraine and a few other. He disagreed Trump on a few major things, and Trump usually holds that against you, even if it's a little thing. So Lindsey does, but he also backs Trump on a lot of shit. So that's, I don't know. He's a likable fruit cup is what I call him. I began to like Lindsey.

Again, I know, not all his politics. I don't agree with all of his, some of his. But anyways, at least he was in the military. Of course, the Navy. I think. And maybe I just dreamed that. And when I saw him, remember the debates a few years ago? He didn't make the main stage debate.

They put him at the, I think it was when Trump was running for the first time. Remember they had two sets of debates? They had the main people and then they had a debate at like 5 p.m. that nobody, he was on it and he was so goddamn funny, like making fun of the situation. Anyhow, I got a sweet spot for figs, believe it or not. Anyways, in her concession speech Saturday night, Haley congratulated Trump on the victory, but said he is not the Republican candidate best suited to beat President Biden in November, even though he beat him twice. Think of it that way, Nikki, you silly bitch. She also announced she is not going anywhere just yet.

I'm staying right here. What a voice. Oof. Oof-a. Anyways. So, yeah, Trump trances her in her home state, and she's still hanging in there, even though the Koch brothers,

what a great name for brothers that have a ton of go. They pull their money. They were the ones who were big campaign boosters of hers because they're globalists. Everybody used to call them right-wingers like on SNL. They're fucking globalist assholes who are filthy rich. But they yanked their money saying it's over. So I don't know who's telling it to stand, but you know it's all intentional for whatever reason,

and it can't be a good one. Anyways, boys and girls, in the second half of the show, I'll be telling you about Natalie Holloway. Remember her? Her killer, Van the Scum Bucket? Apparently, he's still getting laid in prison, not by guys. He's in a prison in Peru. Yeah, it's Peru, a Peruvian prison.

And they have weird conjugal rules. And apparently, he's a player. There's women anyways, believe it or not, you psychos. And also, why being a Taylor Swift fan is racist, according to a college professor. I don't even know what she looks like. I'm going black, but I'm going to go out on a fucking limb. I really don't. Could be a liberal white twat.

I don't know. Then she'd be gay. No offense, folks. Oh, shut it. Anyways, all that is on Mug Club. So if you want to get on Mug Club, go to nickdip.com. Okay? Nickdip.com to sign up for Mug Club.

Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nika shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's move on, shall we? Time to do a little business, as Rush used to say. Everybody loves a good glass of wine, but it's hard to figure out what to buy. Let Naked Wines save you the time and the headache.

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It's really good stuff. And what they do is you can go online, order this, they'll deliver it right to your house. Well, what does that do, Nick? It cuts out the middleman. So you get it cheap. And it's really convenient instead of going into a store and pretending you know what you're talking about. You can sit home and do a little research if you want. With over 10 years in the business, Naked Wines funds over 90 independent winemakers. There are no commitments or membership fees, just awesome wines as often as you want. So head to nakedwines.com slash nickdip and click enter voucher in the top right when you get to the website website and put in NickDip for both the code and the password to get six bottles of wine for just

$39.99 with shipping included. That's a hundred bucks off and less than seven dollars per bottle. That's NakedWines.com slash NickDip and use the code and password NickDip and grab six bottles for just $39.99. One last time, NakedWines.com slash NickDip, code and password NickDip and grab six bottles for just $39.99. One last time, nakedwines.com slash NickDip, code and password NickDip for a hundred bucks off your first six bottles. And we thank Naked Wines for sponsoring the show today. Blood on Joe Biden's hands. Well, what do you mean by that? Well, if you follow the news, even if you don't, I think homeless people who live in parks and on the bridges are aware of the border crisis

and what kind of destruction it's doing to our society. As you may or may not know, there was a nursing student, Laken Hope Riley, who was murdered. There she is. On February 22nd, Riley went for a morning jog along the University of Georgia campus in Athens, which is usually pretty safe, but not anymore, folks. Nowhere. Where she had transferred from in 2023. When she did not return, her roommate called the police, who started a search for Riley. Only hours after Riley left for her morning run, hours after, her body was found in a wooded area near Lake Herrick. I'm not picking on the, I'm not doing victim blaming here, but women, I don't understand why you jog, continue to jog.

And I'm not the only one saying, a million people are saying, it's too bad. You should be able to do anything you want in a free country, but that's not the world we live in anymore. If you're Carl, any age, do not, when I lived in New York City, there were a story like this every week, whether it was Central Park or Upper East Side, doesn't matter. The creeps are everywhere. Please jog with three other people. And even with three other people, have a weapon on you. It's

and it's on Biden and fucking Mayorkas. Why don't we see anybody in their face on TV going, what do you got to say about that? Where's Peter Deuce, even Deuce, even the Fox people? Why aren't you in his face at a press conference? you got to say about that? Where's Peter Deuce? Even Deuce, even the Fox people. Why are you in his face at a press conference? What do you say about that?

You'll never be let in the White House again. Anyways, police said Riley's body showed visible injuries the following day police arrested 26-year-old, oh, Jose. Again, Nick, don't prejudge. Antonio Ibarra, an illegal alien from Venezuela, looks like a genius.

Ibarra first crossed the U.S.-Mexico border in September of 2022. As part of shithead President Joe Biden's expansive catch-and-release network, where millions have been released, Ibarra was freed in the United States Interior with the Department of Homeland Security officials citing a lack of detention space to keep him locked up. Really? Then bring him home and put him in your own fucking basement, you cocksuckers.

You believe that? You couldn't find room, really? This guy comes from a country where they put 41 in a cell we couldn't find room for this guy and now a woman's dead according to DHS sources a bar should have been deported from the U.S. in September 2023 when he was arrested in Queens, New York, for injuring a child under the age of 17. But no. Instead, thanks to the city's sanctuary policy, why isn't somebody in Adams' face? Ibarra was released from jail rather than being turned over to ICE, the ICE agency. Ibarra is now charged with Riley's kidnapping and murder.

No better place to do it, though. Anyways, as well as aggravated battery, aggravated assault, hindering a 911 call, and concealing the death of a person. Is that enough for you to believe? No? Okay, I'll bring up another one.

Molly Tibbetts. The one. Molly Tibbetts. The murder of Molly Tibbetts is perhaps the most similar case to Riley's. On July 18th of 2018 in Brooklyn, University of Iowa student Molly Tibbetts, 20 years old, went for a jog when she was confronted and then chased down by then 24-year-old Christiane Bahena Rivera.

Hmm. by then 24-year-old Christian Bahina Rivera. Why do white people think they're so superior? Oh, Nick, don't be silly. They do shit like this, too. Yeah, for everyone white, there's 40... Anyways. An illegal alien from Mexico. There he is there with his... Hello, I'm ignorant.

Look at my stupid haircut. Girl, I'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face haircut. Girl, I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Bahena Rivera convicted of Tibbetts' murder in May 2021 and sentenced to life without parole in August of 2021. Kidnapped Tibbetts, stabbed her up to 12 times on her head, torso, hand

and neck before dumping her body in a cornfield and covering her in corn stalks. But you guys keep voting Democrat. Not you guys that watch me. You shithead friends that do. Keep voting Democrat. You go, girl.

Is that enough for you? I'll give you one more just to nail the point home. Kayla Hamilton. On July 27th, 2022, just days after Kayla Hamilton's 20th birthday, she was found dead on the floor of her bedroom in Aberdeen, Maryland. According to prosecutors, an illegal alien MS-13 gang member went into Hamilton's bedroom, strangled her with a cord of a phone charger, raped her, and robbed her of $6. Aunt Rob, you're of $6.

Again, anybody yelling during a press conference? Instead of going, where are you going next? Is Nikki Haley going to hurt you? Hamilton, during the struggle, called her boyfriend for help, but the call went to voicemail. Hamilton's murder can be heard in a more than two-minute-long voicemail. Think about that for the boyfriend and whoever. I'm sorry, where is the, I don't know.

Maybe it's, like I said, it's the Italian in me. I don't see here a brother or a family member hunting down. I don't know. The illegal alien MS-13 gang member was arrested in January 2023 after it took police months to search for the suspect in Hamilton's murder. In May 2023, a bombshell report released by the House Judiciary Committee revealed that illegal alien MS-13 gang member had been released into the United States interior after arriving at the southern border in May 2022, posing as an

unaccompanied alien child and claiming to be fleeing gang violence in his native El Salvador. Balls on this prick. Here's your government at work. There's your taxpayer. If you don't think this is all intentional and your government fucking detests you, especially this one,

you're high. Right? The United States had a good run. And again, you want to yell at Biden, but he's just following marching orders from whoever. He's got about nine hands up his ass like Jim Henson. Fucking puppet head.

Ay-yi-yi. Hey, for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of my show. The rest of you, go to nickdip.com to sign up. You'll get Crowder's full show. You get the Hodge twins, Alex Jones on Fridays, Brian Callahan's very funny show, and their undercover team, who is every bit as good as Project Veritas.

It's tremendous. If you're going to sign up for a podcast and you want to laugh about it and have a good time, and he backs everything up with Facts Crowder, and you get all these other shows on top of it, I don't know of a better deal. Go to nickdip.com to sign up for Mug Club. While you're there,

click on the tour button. And May 11th, I'm still waiting for Tommy to bring me a couple dates to warm up. Otherwise, folks, it's going to be hilarious. The first five rows will be covered in rust. Like scraping the bottom of a 1968 fucking Volkswagen.

May 11th, I'll be at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. Please, again, I'll say it again, Jersey, you're always good to me. It's a big venue for me. Let's fill it up. Thank you so much. Thank you. I won't take all that they hand me down

And make out a smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else

And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else I see you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else