The Nick DiPaolo Show - Blood On Biden's Hands | Nick Di Paolo Show #1591

Episode Date: June 25, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about CNN "moderators", 18th hole protest and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

["Sweet Home Alone"] How many men on a hockey team? About half. Delicious. Hey folks. delicious hey folks welcome on a Tuesday how you doing as I look to my producer to confirm that like the fucking old man that I am good to be with you god damn it did you watch the game last night even though it's still monday and it hasn't been anyways last night which will be tonight

game seven i don't know if i've been keeping up to date dallas florida panthers verse edmonton oilers for the Stanley Cup, seven game series. Florida Panthers jumped up to a three-nothing lead. Looked like the fucking series would be over in two minutes. Edmonton comes roaring back and spanks them three times in a row. Game seven was last night, meaning tonight, because we're doing this on Monday. We have to do this. I have to leave leave we have to put one in the can for you

Don't have to but I'm a nice guy you die without me So yes, you want to see some Put that on if you're cooking or whatever you're doing tonight. You want to see ferocious that Imagine all those games played 30 teams. They play 82 games regular season, plus the hundreds of playoffs games. It's probably over 3,000 games. Comes down to one game. Isn't that incredible?

That's what I fucking love about sports, man. And I say, it's not scripted. That's what's beautiful. Then, of course, the cynical friends go, bullshit. They wanted seven. It's my wife. She talks like she's fucking Al Capone. Bullshit!

They wanted to go seven. I go, really? You think they can pull that off? I mean, I'm cynical, but Jesus. But what a fucking, if you guys are hockey fans, I mean, Florida just warmed down the first three games and now it looked like they blew their load. Because game four they got beat eight to one and then manhandled the next two games.

Not just beat, they looked like they got manhandled. I don't know what's gonna happen tonight but it's back in Florida, sunrise Florida. They haven't won a cup in their 30 something year history. So it's fucking huge. And Edmonton hasn't won a cup since 1990. Over 34 years or whatever. So kind of like the Boston rest arcs and 04.

Not quite as bad, but yes, that was 86 years. We were reminded every time the Yankees fans. No, I mean more the series, the between the Yankees and the, oh, yes. Yes. Yes. The AL championship. Yes. That was the first time it was ever done in baseball. That shows you how hard it is.

It's only been done, only four teams have forced a game six in the NHL history when they were down three nothing. So they're already in that. And the only team to ever come back, I believe, 1942 Toronto Maple Leafs over the Red Wings came back from a 3-0 deficit to win the cup. Insane. I mean the ferocity with which they play throughout the playoffs is something even other even other athletes say it. I've heard Barclay say it. Kevin Euclid who was doing color comms over the Red Sox last night,

he's like there is nothing better than playoff. It really is. It's just as far as a spectator sport it's just they'll go eight minutes without a whistle cracking each other. So that's going to be amazing tonight. I might even watch it in real time. I can't risk blowing that one I'm afraid I'll forget pick up my phone and I'll go. Oh, let's take a look at the news I've done shit like that. So anyways tune into that folks That's what I'm looking forward to that in a 12-hour power nap What? Tired balls on this prick. Hey, take it easy. Take it easy. All right, let's

get to it. Moderation my ass. Those are my words. Is this thing still on? Hello? Of course not. Wow. But I don't have the beginning of Alzheimer's, nobody does. Come on now, here we go. Moderators of my ass is the headline. The two CNN anchors set to host Thursdays first, I can't believe it's already here, 2024 presidential debate, and I can't believe the Democrats are going to Going and gonna do this with Biden Presidential do you guys know my opinion on that presidential debate have previously called Donald Trump's first term These are words that these people had used in the past called Donald Trump's first term a national nightmare

Because we all know the greatest economy in this country's ever seen Low unemployment hardly any crime. That's a national nightmare for people who watch CNN and who work there and who vote Democrat. Because you're fucking retarded. Yeah, but he puts out mean tweets, suck a dick and die. Good night, everybody. Previously called Donald Trump's first term a national nightmare

and compared his language to that of Adolf Hitler. Well, that's original. Haven't heard that about Reagan, Bush Senior, Bush Junior. I mean, give it a rest. Here is Don Jr., meaning Don Trump Jr., making that point about their history with his dad. Here you go. Marie, at the same time, make no mistake,

this is still CNN, right? This is Jay Tapper. Jay Tapper has compared my father to Hitler before, right right i mean jake tapper is the guy who will yell at his control room say turn this man off i don't want to hear what he has to say is he did that is giving press conferences i mean i i can't tell you who these people are you know who they are you've seen them before i saw them as i walked into a courtroom every day where they're sitting there with with with grins on their face It really is unbelievable like I said do it on C-SPAN and have I'm trying to think of somebody that's Snoop Dogg. All right, you know what?

Wouldn't say no to that because he would at least You know what? I wouldn't say no to that. Because he would at least, first of all, Snoop is now like leaning Trump, I believe. So he might not, they might even let him do it. Remember, he made a reversal. So yeah, no, but somebody that high profile, that isn't political, you know, there's

got to be a character actor out there that we all love. I don't know who that is. Anyways, Johnny Mathis is still alive, gay black singer. My mother loved him. Let him do it. I don't know, a figure skater. Johnny where? Biggest girl ever to skate.

Anyhow, and then, you know, just to prove what Don Jr. was saying here's some clips of Tappereck saying the shit a couple years ago. He uses the term poisoning the blood of our country. Poisoning the blood of our country. If you were to open up a copy of Hitler's Mein Kampf you would find the Nazi leader describing the mixing of non-Germans with Germans as poisoning. The Jew, Hitler wrote, quote, poisons the blood of others. This, according to Hitler, posed an existential threat to Germany. There's really no other way to say it.

Donald Trump's language mirrors this directly. Yeah, look at that Jew hater. It would be funny if he stepped away. He wrote Trump is the best. Something like that. Trump was here. God was here. Tapper, boy, he's got that face you just want to. You believe this cocksucker was on Fox

when Fox first started out? So which is the real Jake Tapper? You just go where the money is, Jake. Is that how it works? Tapper, the network's lead Washington anchor, which is hilarious, has called the 45th president a desperate electoral loser in the past, suggested Trump spread Russian propaganda,

ah, ah, too wrong, and has said that if re-elected, the former president will try to kill democracy. And he's the moderator tonight, along with another douchebag you know what you need to shut the fuck up bash also CNN's host of inside politics nobody's been inside her has made sniping remarks targeting Trump to and spanker she has argued that unfortunately for America the US Supreme Court decided to keep Trump on the Colorado ballot. These are supposed

to be people, how do you fucking people still falling for this? Not you guys, again I'm preaching to the choir. Imagine she said that, unfortunately they kept them on the Colorado ballot and suggested that the former president incited war domestically during his first term. Bash also criticized the first Trump-Biden debate for being a shit show. And she said it on air, which I kind of may be horny. What?

I like dirty talk. Because of the former president, she called it a shit show. Why don't you have a Snickers bar? Get off the rag-a-rooney. But these are your moderators, folks. She argued that the debate was a bad reality TV show and that Trump took it too far with his aggression during the matchup.

Meanwhile, you could call him Hitler, fucking liar, not fit for presidency, but he took it too far. It is insane. It's creepy. It makes my hair stand up. Again, I don't know if they see it that way. Well, we're just all stupid. It's obviously a state-run network, CNN. Doesn't matter if they're losing money and somehow they... Well, they make big money on clickbait. That's where they win. Their website still gets huge traffic.

Of course, if you're going to put up fucking lines like that, provocative lines. Anyway, second half of the show, folks. I'll be talking about my nipples and how infected they got. Good night. CNN anchor. Oh, yeah, second half of the show, another CNN anchor, Caitlin Collins, they always have one that like, she looks good sometimes, other times she's got hairy arms and looks like a man. Caitlin anchor, which is Caitlin Collins, grills Doug Burgum on why Burgum keeps referring to Biden as a dictator which

makes me like Burgum more and more I like the people like him JD Vance that are out there using the lingo that the fucking left uses finally catching on or are they all just faking it I don't know folks we'll show you that clip very interesting also do you know card dealerships nationwide get hacked into remember Rich Wood he used to work on this show that's what he does he would work for a local dealership around here for as a tech guy nationally I'm not saying his fault I've never heard from the guy in years I don't know what happened hope you're all right rich nationwide they get hacked into and it's fucking up sales and all kinds of you

know that's the Chinese or the Russians practicing probably the Chinese rehearsal anyways get full episodes of the Nick DePauw show and louder with the crowd of four days a week also you get Brian Callan mr. guns and gear weekly and exclusive live streams with Alex Jones for $9 monthly or $89 annually. That's exclusively on Mug Club. So sign up now. And for you listeners out there, we are now uploading the complete audio version of the show in addition to the video.

Watches can still access the video version as normal. Hey boys and girls, head over to nicktip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. the video version as normal. shirts just go to nickdip.com and click on store again that's nickdip.com click on store thank you guys so much see you soon. Let's move on. Hole interrupted by a-holes a group of protesters stormed this is on Sunday onto the 18th hole of the Travelers Championship, which is a big well-known tournament. I've been trying to figure out if that's an English woman, an American kid, an English guy.

Anybody? I think I see tits. Not sure, might just be bunched up. Does it really take four cops? The guy on the right couldn't just punch her on the stomach. A group of protesters stormed onto the 18th hole of the Travelers' Championship with what appeared to be smoke grenades and paint.

I used to bring those on first dates if it was going bad. Disrupting the final day, or if I didn't like the guy's hair do, the final day or Friday like the guy's hairdo the final day of the tournament with Scotty Scheffler I'm sorry attempting to close out another win these scumbags running onto the goddamn this year we're going to grab the bull by the balls and kick those punks off campus yeah sure the group of climate protesters were taken off the 18th green in handcuffs as fans at the TPC River Highlands in Connecticut booed at them and called

them names. It was funny because Connecticut you think blue blood you know very white golf tournament even the upper echelon of white people but it was refreshing to hear these people we'll play a clip in a second the commotion started when one protest one protester in a blue shirt in golf hat ran onto the course with a cylinder looking item emanating yellow smoke yeah that's usually a sign something ain't up but let's check this out something ain't up but let's check this out another one Kids probably 14 with a beard from fucking you know where Bridgeport WROC TV and this was like the last hole in a tight tournament WROC TV sports director Thad Brown got is

he white reported that five protesters were taken away by police and paint was left on the 18th green where all of the events transpired and I say shoot again not lethally although I look at if I was the president I'd kill him let's be honest I make Mussolini look like a girl okay so if you guys can't handle lethal I mean beanbags, rubber bullets hurt like a motherfucker and you can take an eye out. We proved that during the Red Sox rally. A girl lost an eye with a rubber bullet.

You know what I'm saying? Have you ever, even the ones that throw paint in museums, do you ever hear about them getting beat silly? I want to see a clip where they have to pull it off because the cop lost his mind. Just once, guys, it's that easy. You think they've ever been slapped by their parents or felt pain ever? Just get, what's his name, Sean Strickland, fucking UFC guy. Get about five guys everywhere, every time there's an event like this where they, their

security, put fake uniforms on them. Let them leg whip these people. Something. Get creative because they keep doing it. Obviously nobody's deterred. One member of the green staff was seen trying to wipe up the paint with a towel off grass. Sounds like me. We had a paint thing.

You'll like this one folks. like most young kids we would play street hockey in our basement, in our house, which you know, and it wasn't an unfinished basement either. We get down on our knees and would play like on fucking sawed-off sticks and there was a painting in the corner. My buddy went in the corner to get the puck, we were using a ball. This is downstairs. I check him into this painting. His head and his shoulder, I see the glass go.

We take the painting down. I come up with this idea, if we take all the glass out and hang it back up, you can't even tell. Because it was in the corner, it wasn't out in a sunny part of the room so of course we're taking the piece of glad I cut my finger it bleeds on the painting my buddy takes like a paper towel and goes like this and fucking blood that's what I was thinking about

it so I'm trying to get blood off grass with a towel we hung it up it took my I think it took my dad all of a day and a half to go, what the fuck? I go, what are you, Picasso? Ping. Anyways, I wish I was big just once. After things settle down, Tom Kim, well, which one? Tom or Kim?

Nailed the tying birdie putt. These Asians are good at golf. Can I make a general there's not many but they're very good it seems like the tying birdie putt to force a playoff with Scotty Scheffler who's the hottest golfer on the planet I know that the two seem to share a laugh over the absurdity of the situation at one point two men could be seen using leaf blowers to clear up what appeared to be paint really you're drying the paint Scheffler went on to win the playoff listen to this for his sixth PGA Tour victory this season so he I gotta guess that he is uh I'm

guessing he's number one on the planet right now. What does that feel like? And the money. Every time he puts on a titleist hat he gets 70 million. Unbelievable. And they're doing something, I never forget this, they're doing something that people do when they're tired to relax. Even though you're not relaxing I mean don't get me wrong it's one of the hardest games in the world we all know that my brother plays it you know my just I want to brag about my niece Jenna every time I bring up golf I told you she's a good golfer she got her second hole in one this past weekend most people go a lifetime though getting a hole in she

got her second ace. I think that's what ace means. Hope my brother didn't mean she met a guy. Because she's married. That would be good. Second hole in one. And she shoots consistently like in the 70s. Son of a gun.

My brother told me not to take up golf. In high school he goes, don't even, you'll fucking hurt somebody. And boy did I take that to heart and I do feel like a puss that I didn't when I watch it because everybody golfs every every broadcast he Dallas you know this when you're watching a baseball game they always use golf references you notice that when somebody hits one if it looks like one of your slices Bella they always They always say, they always, yeah. That's Dallas' version of a rim show.

Anyways, anyhow, you climate protesters, you know, what an empty life you live. You take a cause that nobody's really worried about other than you and 11 other people, and maybe Bill Gates and You have no life outside of that, but you got on national TV So your life is complete and I hope you all get cancer in your 30s Hey guys for those of you on mug club stick around the second half of this show Everyone else go to Nick dip calm join to get my full show the great Steven cry to crowd is full show And a whole lot more.

And there is a lot more. When they say that in commercials they don't mean it. You get a whole lot more. And while you're there click on my tour dates. August 9th, Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts. I believe it's the, what did I say there? It was a name. Anyways, go to Jacksonville Center for Performing Arts

on August 9th. You'll find me in there. And then the next night, August 10th, I'll be in Duluth, Georgia at the Gas South Theater. So if you guys are into farting, see you in a balcony. pity. Hi, good night everybody. I wear a frown and I'm not gonna take it all lie down Cuz once I get started I go to town Cuz I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else

And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get in trouble like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else See you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else