The Nick DiPaolo Show - Bobulinski Schools AOC | Nick Di Paolo Show #1545

Episode Date: March 21, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about AOC's idiocy and much more! Support today's sponsor, Nugenix! Get a complimentary bottle of Nugenix Total T plus a bottle of Nugenix Thermo X FREE when you text NICK to 231-231 Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Música Oh my god, I've erased all our sound drops. What? Not true. I have a big mom! How's it going, folks? Final day of the week for us. Feel pretty good. A tide went on yesterday.

The wife was downtown getting deposed, and I'm like, yeah, fuck it, I'll go down there. I mean, I expected, well, I'm not going to get into details, but they deposed me for around seven hours, and I figured it would be the same for her, but apparently it's different. Anyhow, so, you know, I get there. Make sure I wanted me a time when she comes out,

so I get there like two in the afternoon, which I did, and I was drinking like it was prom night in high school. It was so fucking, I don't know what got into me. I'm at the B&D, and this bartender, Katie, who takes pride in making up her own drinks, she's bartended everywhere and shit. So I have a couple of faggy beers,

and I go, all right, give me a fucking this, give me a whatever, give me a big, tall fucking, I don't know. I can't even remember. But all I know is these are like strong drinks that you drink in a regular drink glass. And I was drinking out of those tall beer glasses. And I'm like a little kid. I've said this before on the show with booze.

I'm like a kid in a candy shop. I'll fucking chase a white Russian with a goddamn Bloody Mary, two shots of jam. I had six fucking drinks. I was trying to impress the staff. There's nobody there. I'm like the only one at the bar yelling at the TV.

And they look up at the TV, see what I'm watching. It's some fucking... It's black. It's... It's not even on. Yeah, exactly. Like Cuckoo's Nest. That's what they did in Cuckoo's Nest. Remember they pretended

they were watching the World Series? Yeah. I was fucking just... They're like, nah. So I was fucking three sheets to the wind and then I wander up the street because now it's getting to, I don't know, five or six o'clock

or whatever the fuck. And there's this beautiful place I wandered into a couple days called Belford's. And I go in and they put crushed ice in your drinks if you ask for a lot of, ugh. So then I have two Jameson waters right in a row. Like they have five, you know, this is on top of the fucking five or six drinks I just had. And then an old couple comes in, turns out, and I say to the bartender this girl I go let me guess owner he was like almost 80 and he just looked like that and he was with a girl you know probably 20 years younger a woman I should say uh mid 50s but

anyways they're from Long Island we start yapping I get them laughing and then there's a couple from Philly you would have laughed at this. Somebody point out, I heard they said they were from Philadelphia. I don't even know them. I walk up. Here's the husband. Here's the wife. I get in between.

I put my arms. And they both turn towards me. And I go, I used to beat Dave Schultz up in high school. Guy starts laughing. And I made some other cracks about Philly and some of their athletes. Reggie White was gay.

Just all shit. They were fucking dying. And then it's not talking to the old guy and his wife. Yeah, but I mean, and I'm, boom, they start doing shots.

You had what Gianna and I refer to as a Savannah day. A Savannah day. And it was great because it was culture. The manager is from Charleston, but he looked biracial. He looked like, I don't know. I put people into category, and I'm usually right 99% of the time. He's got the fucking bad young kid.

He's got the flaring nostrils, just enough black in him to be angry. He's got the flaring nostrils, just enough black in them to be angry. And then I meet the head chef who's got the fucking chin strap beard. You know when southerners wear that, like redneck? It's kind of scary. No, not this part. And he's got a space between his, and I can just tell he's an ass kicker because he's a little wide and his shoulders are like this. Not much talk.

Anyways, he's kind of ignoring me like I'm the old man because I am it's fucking hilarious now. I get treated like an old person So I get into with him about sports sure enough He fucking said he'd get full boat to Tennessee for football He wasn't much bigger than me, but I could tell and he goes I was way I was bigger that course you know when you play at those levels you're juicing But I could tell he was an ass, a fucking teeth. Bruiser. Bruiser, yeah.

There's something about him. I can read people like that. And sure enough, I go, well, where'd you fucking grow up? He goes, West Knoxville. And I went, that's black, black. And he goes, you fucking ain't right. He's the only white guy in his neighborhood. And I knew it.

And he goes, see all those guys in there? He points to the white guy in his neighborhood. And I knew it. And he goes, see all those guys in there? He points to the kitchen and all the chefs were black. And you could tell they looked like, they could fuck you up. I would not break

into the restaurant, folks. And he starts talking. I go, they love you, don't they? He goes, fucking A, right? And I go, nothing they respect more than a white guy who grew up in their neighborhood

and survived the fuck. And I had octopus. They bring out just one leg. You know, and they charge you like it's a real. It was so, you know, it was cooked on the grill with this expensive olive oil. And I finished it in, I'd say, 11 seconds. And I go, I want another one.

They're all laughing because I'm acting like I'm rich. And it was so fucking delicious. Come on. Octopus legs, Jameson. What the fuck? It's a beautiful. Oh, and I went and got a, in the middle of it,

I went and got a haircut. Saw my flex in the window. I go, this looks like dog shit. I'll be right back. Of course, I was so fucked up, I almost couldn't find the restaurant again. I go into, I think it was called the Barber Pole down there.

They've been in business for like 25 years. Four women. I get the oldest one, and I love it. She goes, what do you want? I go, first of all, I hate the way my hairline is weighed down. She goes, yeah, we're going to bring that up like a natural. I go, yeah, that's the phrase I've been looking for. I've been telling the retards

that, what do you call it? Quick cut. No, what's it called? Great clips. No, that's actually better. Fucking the butcher shop. She knew exactly, though, because she looked like she might have been 70

even doing this. She said she was doing it for 30 something. She knew exactly what I fucking wanted, you know? I said, one on the side, number one, Clippers. I don't want to see skin. She knew exactly what the fuck. So I pick her up. We go dancing.

No. So then I get my haircut. I go back to the bar. And just, again, like, get home. So anyways, my wife is deposed for over 11 hours. 11 hours and 40 minutes or 30. It was fucking insane. That's all I can say about it. I'm just saying

it is mentally draining. Alright. I think I bored you people. Let's get on with the show. Well, quick side note, this is the last show of the week, but also of the month. Oh. Oh. Thank you for saying that. Yes,

I'm on vacation. I get to take a week here and there, folks, between this, got Bell Crowder. I've done enough. Yes, so this is the last one. Live show, right? And then we'll be back when, Dallas? April 1st.

April 1st, and I'm not joking. It's April Fool's Day. Andy explained to me how April Fool's came about. It was actually an interesting story. The Gregorian calendar is some fucking shit. Some guy won election, whatever Gregorian, the head monk. I don't know what the fuck. But he changed it from New Year's.

He changed New Year's from January to April 1st. And then whoever got elected changed it back. But the people who continued to use April 1st, they'd call them April Fool's people. Pretty good, right? Should be. I just made it up. Listen.

No. Isn't that fucking... And then I go, why don't we not ask about... I don't mind your P's and Q's. Look at this. Turned into a trivia night. That's pints and quarts

that we tell you they wouldn't, back in the day, that's, if you drank too much, they'd say, mind your P's and Q's. That's pints and quarts before you get in your buggy

and tip it over. What the fuck? I don't know. I'm almost at the 10-minute mark. I haven't heard a story yet. Did I tell you I did blow yesterday? No.

Anyways, if you're in Savannah, hit up Belfort's. It's a big open. You can tell this guy made a killing. If you know how to make a killing in the restaurant business in New York, you're a pretty bright guy. He said he came down.

He goes, this thing was a shithole. And he fucking, I was very impressed. And you guys know, if there's anybody listening. Anyways, I guess before I even, I'll give you a 10-minute warning. Hey, in the second half of the show, I'll be talking about everything because I haven't talked about nothing. Yeah, I've got a story later on

about a frat at the University of Miami being suspended because why? Because, well, they're acting like a frat. It's the mildest case of anything. It's just another attack on the white male. And also, Russia hates fags, apparently. Shocking. Shocking or right on the money.

Maybe we could, no, again, I don't mean that, folks, you know that, but I'm just saying, yes, they're cracking down. They treat them kind of like the extreme group that I see them as, but I'm not going to jail them. I mean, I might come on their back and kick them in the ass, but look. Anyways, that's all exclusively on Mug Club. So if you want to get Mug Club, you've got to go to nickdip.com, don't you?

Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nika shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com. Click on store.

Thank you guys so much. See you soon. I believe that's how that works. What do we got today? Let's open it up. Make me a fucking sandwich. Not with that tone, young lady. In our make me a

sandwich tonight, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was marked online after somebody saw her giant chubbers. Hello, I'm Mr. Red. A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse.

Nobody can talk to this horse. So Cortez was marked online after she claimed, Rico is not a crime. Oh, that was my other tweet last night. I said, no, it's a guy she blew to get a waitressing job in Yorktown Heights. And I might have dropped a C-bomb and taken that one down this morning. I can't remember. I went on a little run after I had 19 drinks with me. I'll hear about it when I get home. It was marked on line after she claimed Rico's not a crime during a heated exchange Wednesday with President Biden impeachment hearing witness Tony Bobulinski, one of my favorite

names. Anyways, Cortez asked Bobulinski, a former business associate of Hunter Biden, whether he witnessed the president commit a crime. First of all, the question is just, it's just, it's low-handed, it's sneaky. Commit a crime seeking to rebuff GOP narratives about the Biden family during the second public impeachment probe hearing. Here is her being, and she's got that voice that you just want to stick a popsicle stick in her eye. Go ahead. Is it your testimony today that you personally witnessed President Joe Biden commit a crime? I believe the fact that he was sitting with me while I was putting together a business deal.

Did you witness the president commit a crime? Is it your testimony today? Yes. And what crime do you have you witnessed? How much time do I have to go through? It is simple. You name the crime. Did you watch him steal something? Corruption statutes,

RICO and conspiracy. What is it? What is the crime, sir? Specifically. You asked me to answer the question. I answered the question. RICO, you're obviously not familiar with. Corruption statutes. Excuse just, you keep you asked me to answer the question. I answered the question. Rico, you're obviously not familiar with corruption statutes. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me, sir.

Excuse me, sir. What a cunt. What a crime. What an ass. It's a category. What is the crime? It's a category of crimes that you're then charged under. You have charges. A long hundred list of crimes. You have charges. Sir, please name. You want me to name the exact statute under Rico? Yes. Well, it's... The exact statute under RICO?

Yes. Well, it's funny. In this committee room, everyone's not here. There's over 18 lawyers that went to law school. I'll leave it up to you guys to define the statute. Thank you, sir. I reclaim my time. Listen to her.

Just a spoiled brat playing word games. So, in other words, if you didn't see it... You know when all this started? Oh. Hello. I'm Mr. Red. I didn't mean to call it a see-word in the first part of the show.

I kind of tried to, I just can't help it. If you guys disagree with that assessment, that's a different thing. She did, but she did play in word games. So this all started right after OJ, that's a different thing. She's playing word games. So this all started right after OJ, even though that was criminal, and I don't know what this is under, whatever. But if you don't witness it, if you don't have it on camera, you can't say it happened or whatever.

She's playing word games, and Rico is a, it's a fucking statute. I think Giuliani came up with it. He brought the mob down. And you go watch the Gaudi movies. That's when it was first used, Rico. Racketeering. It means if somebody's guilty of something on down the line, anybody who associates with them is guilty too. That's all it means. She knows that. You see how when he goes, I don't think you understand. Excuse me? That feminist gets her dander up. We are surrounded by uppity whatever the fucks. That's as clean as I can do.

Rico had three doubles yesterday in a Grapefruit League game. Oh, here it is. Racketeer, if you want to get the acronym. Racketeer Influenced in Corrupt Organizations Act, and I just explained what that means, which targets dishonest business activities, really God, he was dishonest, such as money laundering, as well as organized crime and voting for somebody like horse teeth. Former President Donald Trump and over a dozen of his allies were charged in a sprawling racketeering case out of Fulton County last August over alleged 2020 Georgia election tampering. It's falling apart like a

12-year-old on the witness stand. Oh no, it's a category of crime that you are then charged with, Bob Alinsky, corrected horse teeth. You are correct, sir. It's funny, he says in this committee, I'll just say, read what he just said if you didn't pick up. I love this guy. It's funny, he says in this committee, I'll just say, read what he just said, if you didn't pick up. I love this guy. It's funny in this committee room, everyone's not here. There's over 18 lawyers that went to law school. I'll leave it up to you guys to define the statute. Exactly, Tony B. She's such an uppity. okay sir i reclaim my time okay said you just called me out on something i don't understand or know so i'm going to talk over you and just make you sound like an idiot yeah yeah said we call it filibustering i call it being a douche uh said exasperated ocasio-Cortez after a little crosstalk.

Clearly what we are seeing here today is the continuation of the 15-month saga of the Republican majority lost in the desert, she said. Hello. I'm Mr. Ray. Carrot. She then launched into a monologue about having a yeast infection since fourth grade, railing against the impeachment inquiry, underscoring that the resolution for the probe does not outline a high crime or misdemeanor. Netizens quickly roasted the progressive star, meaning her, over the fiery exchange. And of course, AOC's favorite network has her back

after she completely and totally embarrassed herself by arguing that Rico is not a crime. That's what Joe Acconcia said. Acconcia on Fox knows he's a media guy. And it's true. Everybody knows it's Rico. It's not. Can you imagine her saying that? She's not a frigging lawyer or whatever. Hey, guys, are you really ready to feel old? You can slow the process down, you know, with Nugenics Total T. Nugenics boosts free and total testosterone levels to help you regain that energy and fire that you used to have. Up your game in the gym, at work, in the bedroom, most of all. The numbers say it all.

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We thank them for sponsoring the show today. I got to sweat today. Because drinking like that leads to what? Eating when you get home. That's when you make those great decisions. What is that, apple strudel? Yeah, I'll get ripped on that. Let me finish it.

There's only eight pieces left. Ooh, Triscuits. Hey, who dropped crumbs on the floor? I'll get those. Yeah, I'm like fucking Hunter Biden with a straw. Anyways, speaking of, this is a good segue, actually. Go woke, go broke. I think that still holds.

Before I get to it, I guess I should tell you that those of you on Mug Club, you should stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show. But not only my full show. More importantly, the great Steven Crowder's killer show. And like I said, the Hodge twins are on Mug Club. And Alex Jones on Friday. Brian Callen and a whole lot more.

The undercover team that literally breaks national stories. So do that. that literally breaks national stories. So do that. And while you're at my website, you can click on the dates. May 1st and 2nd, Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa, Florida. That's not that far away now. May 10th, two shows at Soul Joel's Comedy Club,

Pottstown, Pennsylvania. And May 11th, this is when I need you guys to show up in droves. May 11th, Count Basie Theater, Red Bank, New Jersey. It's over 1,000 seats, so let's do it, shall we? Let's do it. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town

Cause I'm not like everybody else No, no I'm not like everybody else No, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get a job like everybody else

Cause I'm not like everybody else See ya, see ya, what are ya? I'm not like everybody else Hey baby