The Nick DiPaolo Show - Butler PA Attempt No Accident | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1765

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about The Secret Service Shit Show, Drugs, Shane Gillis’ ESPY’s, Shaq Being Wrong, Coca Cola, Kennedy Calls Out PBS and More Dumb Protests! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow TICKETS - Come see me LIVE! For tour dates and tickets -  https://nickdip.com MERCH - Grab some snazzy t-shirts, hats, hoodies,mugs, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ SOCIALS/COMEDY-  Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy -  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

Music playing How are you folks? Welcome to the show. It's a dirty Thursday. Welcome to the live lineup, the last show of the lineup remember during the day you get crowded Tim Poole Andrew Wilson and a whole lot more all the ones that are scrolling by here I believe and that's from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern Time and you get it all for free right here on rumble I don't know how you can do better on the internet. Today, I will be talking about

the Secret Service shit show that went on when Trump got shot. All the facts are coming out. That's all we do is dig up the real truth about four years of Biden. Shane Gillis, I thought he did a nice job ripping some new assholes and getting a few people upset, hosting the ESPYs.

I like the guy, actually. And my boy Shaq, who I usually agree with, had his little beef with RG3. And I'm, Shaq, I don't know, on this one, I don't think you're right. But anyways, that's it. It's a great show. It's Thursday, last day of the week for me and Dallas.

And I'm Jones in because it's Thursday, last day of the week for me and Dallas. And I'm Jones in because there's been no sports on for a few days. I mean, there's two days, I think, in the whole pro sports seasons where there's no sports whatsoever. And I believe it's the day before, not counting the home run derby, and the day after the All-Star game. That used to be the, and Dallas, what about, it's gotta be soccer somewhere, and I said real sports. Man sports. Not sixth grade girls or gay guys from Greece kicking around a ball in their panties and fucking knee socks. Okay, it's tremendous game to play, it's a lot of fun, I admit that shit, okay it's tremendous game to play it's a lot of fun I admit that shit but it's really really gay and the money they make these guys they'll

go yeah I'll show you gay here's my harem in my 42 houses I have in Brazil whatever you're gonna get shot coming out of your house I'll take my 18-5 doing comedy living in a tent I just hate it I really do and they've been pushing it on us for years for it to catch on and the only way it will is it almost did till Trump kicked out Trump's gonna empty all the soccer fans. Let's that league go down. It'll be like Kate and Clark quitting the WNBA. I don't know why she doesn't just go, fuck you, I'm packing up.

Guy's going to foul me. Just outright racism and sexism. Gay black woman hating a straight white woman. Fucking disgusting. And if she just went, okay, I'm going to Europe, that league would fucking do something. It would go away real fast. I was going to say fold, but then you have to go cheap camera or fucking IKEA table or some fucking shit.

I'm not in the mood today. I'm not in the mood. What am I gonna do? I'm gonna rot. I'm gonna rot. Anyways, I'm just, I don't want to kill myself, but I'm tired of life. Sorry folks. Every time I say that, I think of Louis on stage at the Comedy Cell one night. I stick my head in and he goes, you know, people say life's too short but, you know, sometimes you're like, okay, let's get the fuck on with this shit. I don't know. What else?

Anything? Really ripping into the show, aren't I? You're supposed to grab him by the throat at the top of the show. Fuck that. That's for radio. Okay? Radio was fun. My first radio gig, New York City, it's the first time I'm on a real station in New York,

and it's an audition. I haven't got the job yet. They're trying me out, it was like 7 p.m. I live in Westchester, about 45 minutes north of the city. Don't I fucking, isn't there an accident on the frickin You know what West Side Highway, and I'm stuck there, and I got the radio station on I'm supposed to be on This is one of your nightmares and

You hear the woman's who's on before me go Nick DiPaolo should be here by now. This is like an audition for me And I'm fucking lose in my shit get there about twenty minutes late or whatever about john manali god bless some john manali the guy brought rush limbaugh to the radio it's like a radio guru he was going to be my general manager apparently fucking lovely i got these it don't he goes don't worry about it goes use it that's what I love he goes use on the air so I went on there

said mother fuck beep beep beep beep beep bleep beep I couldn't curse it was fucking regular radio anyways isn't that a nightmare have you have that nightmare folks you're late for school or a football game your locker won't open that's that fucking anxiety nightmare that picked up right around the time I got married ironically, I Always blame her but the truth is it's all me. All right, let's get to it So I can get out of here and I don't know cut the lawn

Fucking play with my guitar. No suburbia mink you One, fucking play with my guitar, I know, suburbia, minkia. I'm 60 fucking three, I should be sitting home cutting a lot. Anyways, let's get on with the goddamn dog shit. Secret Service Shit Show is the headline. Thanks to the investigations, if you guys don't know who I'm doing, that's Tony Soprano. That's how you take it, it's a dangerous situation. It's a dangerous combination. Thanks to the

investigations of two Senate committees, Americans are getting a clearer picture of what went wrong. I think we all did when we saw our broad was running the show. Is that sexist? I don't give a shit. Lick my male genitalia. I haven't showered in a week. Get a clearer picture of what went wrong leading up to the July 2024 assassination attempt of Donald Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania. Boy, Butler, you're going to be known forever in the history books. And the details are beyond, they say, damning for the Secret Service. You know, we knew some of these details, but I, know Let's put it this way the late great Greg Zook He was my buddy my friend who passed away unexpectedly a few years ago who was a cop and a lawyer

He used to say Things can't go that wrong things can't go that wrong perfectly if you know what I'm saying I Think I'm fucking that quote up. He's probably giving me the finger right now. Anyways, you know what I'm saying. It's a shit show one step after that to the point where you go, okay, this was, this was designed to go this way. And no one's gonna convince me otherwise, folks.

And the fact now that you got MAGA arguing about the Epstein files and Trump getting mad at Trump, shut the guy took a fucking bullet for us shot the fuck up and enjoy what he's done so far which has been only fix the economy shut down illegal immigration completely

blew up iran's nuclear site and a few other things all in a few months and you're gonna go oh but you we need to see the why just fucking shut up you're buying into the left again they're so good at that and I'll say it again if the left didn't have the friggin media in their pocket they would never win an election ever because they got nothing they don't know how to govern and all they do is this shit and you idiots and I mean lefties of people Vote Democrat you fall for it

Why I'm saying that to you guys because you're not listening. It's you guys Watching that vote like me. So you already know this I can't help but who I reach Am I gonna kick down some hippies door and go watch this? anyways, here's the video pointing out what a shit show oh that's a little bit old oh hold on yeah we're gonna show you this just a refresher memory why am I showing that because this happened and it's probably the biggest news in politics since fucking Lincoln and you know the

media treated it like somebody got a flat tire on the way to the Capitol building you remember that how quick it just went away? Which disgusts me beyond all belief. Imagine Obama getting fucking wounded. You'd still be here in a month. He'd still be president. We'd all be in jail. But we had a Trump hat. Anyways, just to refresh your memory, remember this? God intervened here, I guess. That chart's a couple of months old. if you want to really see something this said, take a look at what happened. And don't forget about the poor guy that died covering his family contemporary whatever his name is

I think you know if I can think about that and they didn't give that much it any how first of all the agency these are the things that went wrong according to the investigation the agency denied requests for anti-drone systems for the rally, claiming those resources were already set aside for the Republican and Democratic national conventions. That sounds like a bullshit excuse right there. What do you mean set aside?

You use them when you need them. Also, they're indoors. This is outdoors. Exactly. I didn't even think of that. And didn't provide a counter-assault team liaison to coordinate between its agents, the Secret Service, and the local SWAT team. The agency almost didn't send in the counter-sniper teams that ultimately took out the shooter, Thomas Crooks, the day of the the rally the agency's drone detection equipment

Bugged out and was being repaired by an under trained Agent when Crooks flew a drone overhead to plan out his sick attack We didn't know that oh I'm sure it wasn't working and shoddy cell service kneecapped communication between the local cops and the secret service Since the agencies couldn't radio each other directly These aren't like little mistakes. These are like, you know, that's what I'm saying It doesn't go wrong. Nothing goes wrong this perfectly without somebody organizing and get yeah I know I'm a conspiracy theorist suck my ass and get this Secret Service officials were told about a threat to Trump's life probably

from Iran ten days before the shooting but the agency had no process to share classified threat information I'm talking about when I say agent the Secret Service they had no process to share classified threat information, I'm talking about, when I say agent, the Secret Service. They had no process to share classified threat information with partners if it wasn't considered imminent. I don't know, 10 days is pretty imminent. Or whatever, they didn't know it. But I'm just saying, you didn't have a process to share that? Thank you.

I was going to say Don Cheadle, Kimberly. Leading up to the rally, the building that Crooks shot from was identified as a possible security concern because of its clear line of sight to where Trump would be speaking. Listen to this, jaw-droppingly, the Secret Service planned to use, get this, we didn't know this, large farm equipment as a barrier between the building and the stage. How large is a tractor? What are you, Paul Bunyan's fucking plow? What are they talking about?

They were going to use that to block the sight line, but decided on a jumbotron and a flag instead because no one told the advance team that there were active threats on Trump's life and then the staffers failed to tell their supervisor that the security concerns hadn't been fixed for some reason no one even thought to just post a few agents up on the roof. Well the roof was too slanted if you remember. I have a, you know, they had a lady doing a report two days after the shooting, like a local news lady saying how they didn't use the roof because it was too slanted. Meanwhile there was like a 13 year old handicapped girl on a unicycle juggling axes behind her doing donuts

This is an agency with 3.1 billion dollar budget tasked with protecting America's leaders and their families and guess what folks it was thwarted by a 20 year old With a rifle and a hobby drone Thanks to dumb policies poor decision making, bad cell reception, faulty hardware, and you forgot one, abroad at the top. Yeah, I said it. How does all that shit go wrong?

It's not like they have an important job. It didn't go wrong, folks. When they ask for the drones and shit, they know what they're doing. No, we're going to save those for like the hell I said, the indoor thing. How many times have you been watching New York Rangers hockey game and a drone flies by? Unbelievable. This is interesting, a headline. Don't be tripping, yo. For decades, proponents of psychedelic drugs, that would be comedian Bill Hicks who pushed mushrooms for years.

I told you guys a few years ago, now it's probably already going on four or five years, I tried them. That's right, at age 58. Kept hearing about them. I was doing a gig. You guys watched my show since the beginning. Know this? I was at Foxwoods with this kid open every I liked him. He's a good guy from Long Island. Irish kid and he goes, hey you want to do mushrooms? And I was so bored out of my tits. I went yeah fuck it. The show was over you know. I went, yeah, fuck it. The show was over. And all of a sudden, I started giggling at everything. Then we went to get a pizza.

I'm giggling at the pizza. I'm at Pepe's and fuck, the best pizza in the world. And I'm just giggling at the pizza. And I told you, we stared at it. We walked around and looked up. Fox was, they have those ceilings with stars. It looks like a planetarium. Oh, man. And, but I don't think these were that as strong because I didn't fucking, although I was staring, I told you this, and I told,

I was staring at a slot machine. It was Jurassic Park slot machine, whatever, and the dinosaur started to look like he was breathing. And that's when I got a little nervous. But then we went and had pizza and giggled. So I don't fucking know. For decades, proponents of psychedelic drugs have come to Washington with a proactive message. Illegal mind-altering substances like LSD and ecstasy should be approved for Americans grappling with depression, trauma, and other hard-to-treat conditions.

And this is a known fact now, because they've already experimented with this shit and I can see if you're really down on the dump. I had depression for a year. I think my freshman year in high school and like I said, I'd rather have a broken leg for five years. It was the worst. I don't even know how to describe it. Everything's meaningless.

It's scary. It's fucking crippling. And my family's like, what's scary, it's fucking crippling. And my family's like, what the fuck is wrong with me? We had a boat, I've told all these stories about, I'm sitting on the front of the boat, everybody else is having a good time, I'm just staring off fucking space. It was fucking scary.

It included like two panic attacks. But mine must have been hormonal, that's not unusual growing up, you know. But if you don't fucking handle it right and I'm my father knew how to handle it slap you in the head snap out of it Come on dad give me some LSD Very creepy very creepy so I can see how taking some acid and maybe your friend's head turns into a dragon and Light beams come out of his mouth that would be better than sitting there pouting anyways apparently it works on

some people Dallas you said you were gonna you would think Dallas has a little PSD PTSD I go STP you were gonna go gonna where Peru Peru and then what's the shit ayahuasca ayahuasca I thought that was a capital of Peru it sounds like a place in Iowa ayahuasca doesn't it the ayahuasca festival every year I can eat corn and do a lot of corn lots of corn and acid you smoke it in a pipe so what does that do you told me it's like it yeah, it's kind of like that gives you It's more like a journey trip, but it's not pleasant. Oh You mean you mean like those vacations you took with your family when you're a kid

Write it down. I think we're gonna be short on good ones. So don't fucking Okay anyways, a presidential administration finally seems to agree that these LSD drugs will pro and guess what the administration's the Trump administration supposedly you know you know how the Republicans are conservatives and people on the right are all squares man but this this administration seems to agree, and it's Trump once again. Upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos. That's what happens when you take the shit.

There's a guy, comedy seller, New York City is in the village, which is known for its drugs and, you know, people smoke weed out in the open in the village, that's where the Comedy Cellar is and NYU a lot of their dormitories and shit and Washington Square Park where every time I walked through it black guys would go five-o five-o they thought I was a fucking cop can't blame them really I used to go relax you know fucking oh shit man you look like foul I know and I am turn around But there was a guy that used to come into the comedy cell he would always call me Vince He thought I looked like Vince somebody a famous Vince. My wife knows who it is. He would come in He's got long straggly hair. He was looked like he was in his 60s great scraggly beard looked like a homeless guy

He's always filthy But we'll come in and sit down at the comedy table with us. Because we knew, you know, what the fuck was his name? Everybody would say hi, because he'd be lucid one second and then fucking cuckoo the next. Sometimes he'd come in, I saw him do this, he came in, walked to the comedy cellar table, there was like a lamp hanging over the table, He came in and and and and and straightened He didn't like the way the lamp was he straightened that the shade or whatever the fuck was and walked out

And we would see him do shit like that a lot if you were sitting he'd go like this to them and For no explanation and shit other than he saw bugs or some shit What the fuck was his name doesn't really matter but I never thought to find the after after seeing this guy for a couple years I asked gnome the guy who runs a con I go what's his fucking deal he goes he was one of the greatest guitarists in the 60s in the village took acid one night had a horrible trip and never really came back. That's the only story I needed to hear. You know what I mean? Again the odds of that happening probably very but I'm not fucking

the odds of me having this huge show. What are the odds of that? Shut it up. He come in and go hi Vince. How are you? I go good. Start y's not yapping with me. Anyways, this line of therapeutics, LSD, I know Rogan must be all for this shit. This line of therapeutics has tremendous, I think I figured out the Rogan problem. Because I know he doesn't have Anthony Comea on anymore. You know, Comea says a lot of fucking crazy funny. It's all race it's all race based black white shit Anthony and he fucking hits hard and I know that I've had Anthony on the show on my show and I've done his show and I'm wondering like if his producer didn't see that and say fuck him You know, I mean Anthony's one of those divisive fucking things. But again, you're supposed to be a free speech guy

of fucking things but again you're supposed to be a free speech guy when you're a comic I mean as heinous as anything is said and Joe has everybody on that he disagrees with or agrees with so but I'm thinking and I again I'll say it one more time I don't think it's Joe I think it's a producer but that's my excuse that me and call me I have fun when we're on the air together and that might I don't know anyways hang, hang up, I will. Anyways, it has tremendous advantage if given clinical setting and we are working very hard to make sure that happens within 12 months.

Who said that? I'm gonna take acid, I took acid, it didn't do anything wrong to me. Catherine had burned. Poor guy, why did god do that to him you know me smart fucking i like this guy still works out and shit flexes look at this gun show

check out check out these pipes anybody got a fucking secret uh... out these pipes anybody got a fucking secret anyways they're gonna try to make this happen in 12 months secretary Robert F Kennedy jr. recently told the members of Congress his suggested timeline for green lighting psychedelic therapy surprised even the most bullish supporters of the drug bullish means they want it, they're for it, folks. And it comes as psychedelics are making inroads in deep red states like Texas.

Folks, I got news for you. Texas might be a red state or whatever the fuck it's, first of all, Austin's there, so that makes it purple. But you know, like a lot of psychedel psychedelics like mushrooms. They grow in cow shit So I gotta believe a lot of red states I'm more familiar with this shit than these people are saying in deep red states like Texas where former Trump cabinet secretary an ex-governor How did he get into this conversation Rick Perry has thrown his full support behind the upper it. There's Rick There's Rick when you know who, what's his

name? God damn it. There goes the joke. Chuck Schumer, visit detection. Anybody see that snob bubble? The administration's embrace of psychedelics has sparked both excitement as well as concern from those in the field who worry the drugs might be discredited if they appear to be rushed onto the market or too closely linked with Kennedy who was known for controversy. So what your grandmother's such trippin you see her on the roof trying to dive into the pool Closely linked with Kennedy who was known for controversy. Here's the this is how I know who wrote the article at the end He's known for his controversial views on vaccines Antidepressants and fluoride all by the way, which he's been proven right on but there's still controversial according to the shithead who wrote this See how they have to get the dig in folks to the shithead who wrote this. See how they have to get the dig in folks? You gotta be... acid can be fun. I heard you gotta be around friends that you can

trust and shit when you try it. That's why I don't do it. I got no friends, I got no trust. But well these guys are friendly and it's... check this out, it'll freak you out. I never smoked no shit like that before. Take these. What? Take these. They're so manly. What is this? What is this, man? Mistaken, man.

Hey, hey, don't take those, man. What? I almost gave you the wrong shit, man. Hey, man, I already took them, man. Whoa. What do you mean, whoa? Wow, man already took a man What was that shit man you just ate the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life And man, I never had no acid before man. He's hoping not busy for about a month Come on. I'm gonna make me die man. No, that's good ass. Hey, man. I never had it before man

It's gonna make me freak out. I've seen those guys walk around my neighborhood had too many Now just go ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You better now, man? Yeah. You better? Yeah. You feel alright, huh? Yeah. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH let me tell you people always ask me my comedy influence I never I always forget to bring Cheech and Chung up I asked for that they had an album out I was in fifth grade I think my sister darling got it for me and there's one sketch on there and they're singing about gonorrhea the end of it goes gonorrhea gonorrhea my father comes I goes who the fuck gave you that said darling I

don't know what gonorrhea was I was some type of pasta so I was laughing. Anyways, how funny those two. Speaking of funny, Shane Gill is who I like a lot. I'm jealous. Shane said some racist shit years ago to podcasts and it cost him an SNL job and somehow spun that into a fucking career right to the top. I said all that shit and I get punished. They rendered me to fucking podcast bill. But Shane Gillis hosted the ESPYs which was a good choice. Anyways, he's a New York comic. He spared no one his ESPY awards opening in a monologue Wednesday night roasting everybody from Caitlin Clark to Aaron Rogers to Trump to Met Star Juan Soto and everyone in between. And of course, remember ESPN is owned by Disney.

So I'm surprised that Shane, he said he was surprised that they let him host, but he's good. He kind of plays it down the middle. But if you guys don't know, the SB audience is filled with athletes, professional, whatever. A lot of people of color, obviously. A lot of lesbians. All the shit that Disney absolutely loves. So when you do these jokes and they are jokes, that's a tough crowd. Unless you kiss ass, right? You remember Norm MacDonald, who to this day did

the best job. And he paid homage to Norm, because Norm did that joke about, who was it? Woodson had won the, I think it was Woodson that won the Heisman, he said, nobody can take that away from you unless you cut your wife's throat and kill a waiter. So he did homage to that, only put it in, was it Travis Hunter, the guy that plays for Colorado? Anyways, he did a little homage to that. The star of the Netflix joke, Tires, okay.

Listen, but this is how they write about comedy drew some laughs and booze uh... in his introduction that ended with a hot homage to late comedian nor mcdonald uh... who hosted uh... the award show i should say all my in nineteen ninety eight in the same vein as mcdonald gillis kicked off his show hosting duties

with a biting monologue and again what else it's supposed to be biting do you not understand fucking comedy and again i told you who's in the audience and i remember when gnome did uh norm did that joke i remember seeing a couple of the brothers like give him the furl brow shit there were some laughing but uh so his uh i thought these are four or five of his opening jokes and I thought they were well done he has writers and here you go if you missed it Donald Trump wants to stage a UFC fight on the White House lawn the last time he staged a fight in DC Mike Pence almost died

pause you gotta know your audience they love that cuz not one of them voted for You don't have to do that. See, pause. You gotta know your audience. They love that because not one of them voted for Trump and he's basically saying, you know, that fucking insurrection, January 6th. And of course they love that, right? I like how Shane goes, you don't have to do that. Go ahead.

It was fine. I didn't write it. Actually, there was supposed to be an Epstein joke here but as it got deleted must have probably deleted itself right? Great joke. Probably never existed actually. Let's move on as a country and ignore that. Joe Rogan actually wanted me to be here to host this award show so that I could capture Adam Silver because Joe thinks he's an Alien and Donald Trump wanted me to be here to capture Juan Soto for the same reason

It's an alien joke. Who booed up there dude? Shut up Love it. Imagine booing that joke. Boo Imagine booing that joke. Boo. Fucking, I hate the left so much. Go ahead. Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker played a hilarious prank on the audience during Shane's opening monologue of the ESPYs. Four time WNBA All-Star Brittany Hicks is here.

Give it up for Brittany, everybody. I'm joking around. That's my friend's wife. I knew none of you knew WNBA players. That's crazy you clap for that. See how the laugh trails off? God forbid you fucking... That was great. One more, right? Two more? Oh good, good. The New York Knicks had a great season yeah oh yeah

Karl Anthony Towns is here hey girl I don't follow the NBA that is he gay I'm guessing that why else would that be fun? That's a ballsy joke right there Because let me say he might be gay, but he's still the NBA. He's probably 6'8 and he hit you with the right hand You're gonna know Hey girl I gotta Google that one Final joke right there we go when Caitlin Clark retires from the WNBA She's going to work at a waffle house so she can

continue doing what she loves most, fist fighting black women. The brothers are laughing at it. Of course there was some female journalist today. I forget who she writes for, who gives a fuck, that was upset with that, you know. That got an awkward laugh. No, it got a nice laugh actually. And suppose the good jokes get awkward laughs. Ninety percent of my jokes get awkward laughs, even in front of my fans who know what's coming. That's the fun of it when they get uncomfortable and you don't do it intentionally, it's just where I come from It's funny So she had a problem. That's a great joke. It's even politically correct. It makes Caitlin sound like

It's black woman beating the shit out of people waffle usually each other The foods that good Girl you gonna eat them potatoes He ended it like I said with paying homage to Norm MacDonald. Travis Hunter won the Heisman Trophy this year, and he did the joke about he's the first defensive player since Charles Wurtson to win the Heisman. Congratulations, Travis Hunter. Winning the Heisman, that's something they can never take away from you, but unless you

kill your wife and a waiter, in which case they can take that away from you. That's fucking**king beautiful. Norm MacDonald. Oh God. I f**king loved him so. Why? Why God? Why? There's a million of them. Rosie O'Donnell you could have taken. Kathy Griffin. F**king Ellen. Why? Anyways, let's move on to Shack Attack. No, let's not, Nick.

Get later and later in the show. Folks, here's my touring dates. Coming up August 8th and 9th. That'll be here very quickly, believe it or not. Side Split is Tampa. I haven't been there in a few years. One of my favorite clubs. Then, September 19 and 20, Wise Guys, Salt Lake City, Utah.

By the way, on the 17th before the Utah gig Thursday night I'll be at Hyenas in Dallas I believe I think to confirm that Jesus I hope. October 3rd Arlington Draft House Arlington Virginia and October 16 Zanies in Nashville. So those are my dates go to go to the merchandise page if you'd like to support the show some tremendous stuff there uh... we have now we have negligee's nick the pollen negligee's and uh... you know what tampons my little face on it

it looks like you can cherry pie take it easy. That's childish. Anyway, so do that at nickdip.com, please. This podcast is supported by Talkspace. When my husband came home from his military deployment, readjusting was hard for all of us. Thankfully, I found Talkspace.

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Match with a licensed therapist today at Talkspace.com slash military. Go to Talkspace.com slash military to get started today. That's Talkspace.com slash military to get started today. That's Talkspace.com slash military. Shaq attack. I'm a huge Shaquille O'Neal fan. All right. I like him more since he retired. I mean, he seems like a fun loving guy who gets along with everybody.

I ran into him at the comedy store on the sidewalk in the comedy store when I lived in LA. I swear to God he's blocking out the moon. I Couldn't fucking believe last guy you want mad at you is Shaquille O'Neal But I like he played in Boston for his last year remember for the Celtics every night he was on the news out with the Boston Pops doing all kinds of shit and Does he have enough commercials? What kind of money does this guy got? And does he have enough commercials? What kind of money does this guy got?

Anyway, Shaquille O'Neal is beyond furious with Robert Griffin the third member RG 3 Quarterback tore up his knee. I think he played for the Redskins Tremendous college player believe he won the Heisman Anyways him and Shaq get into a beef over comments that RG 3 made about Angel Reese. Angel Reese is, you know, one of the stars of the WNBA. She went to LSU, so Shaq has a soft spot for her because that's where he went. And apparently on a podcast, anyways, here's the clip. RG3 retweeted something some guy posted a racist thing a monkey like shoplift of Reese and

Yeah, there it is, which it's fucking it is purely racist, but RG 3 retweeted it. He was he was Not promoting it. He was saying this is absolutely wrong and it should never fucking happen. But in and but in shacks eyes, you know You just you're spreading more of that shit out there and I think shack believes that rg3 believes i don't know anyway here's the video on what shacks pissed out and the last guy you want just his voice alone would make you fucking run good oh speaking of man rg3 tweet tweet another monkey post about my girl injuries i'm punching your fucking face. Okay? It's enough. Like I don't usually do stuff like this,

but just stop it, bro. You got your job, you got your podcast, leave my Angel Reese alone. I'm the one calling her and telling her not to respond. Fucking stop it. That's the last time. Okay? Thank you.

It's not real hate. If you look around what's going on in this real country, that's hate. This is sports. By the way, Buzz, when he says that's hate, what's going on in this rural country, that's hate. This is sports. I'm not supposed to like you. By the way, pause. When he says that's hate, what's going on in the ground country, I mean, I believe he voted for Trump. He's a law and order guy, if I'm not mistaken.

He's not talking about like white racism when he says hate. He just, how both sides hate each other. That's how I took it, but go ahead. It's a shame that all the stuff you did in your life, you're gonna be remembered for your podcast. It's fucking to me. You're gonna be remembered for your podcast. It's fucking to me.

I didn't do anything in my life. That's not fucking great. I don't wanna be remembered for Shaq's Bit Podcast. I do not. Like, leave those girls alone. You already spoke on it. Let it go. So what?

He hates her so fucking what? I hate you now. You're messing with her. Now what? Say something about me. But she not going to respond because I'm the one calling her and be like, baby, keep it classy. Because she's not soft by any means. You're from the streets. But I'm like, you're beautiful.

Don't indulge with these fools because he's a fool. You don't even have G14 classification to say that. Did I give you all this? I respected more if Lisa Leslie said it. Like that's y'all category. All right. That's good. I didn't mean to give you all respected more if I did Leslie said it like that's your category it's good I didn't mean to give you that much Griffin the third sports

media personality and former NFL quarterback has been embroiled in controversy over his July 10th post on X in which he strongly denounced a racist photo of photo edit of race but gave the races image a greater platform by reposting it. At least that was Shaq's take in the Post. Griffin also reiterated his previous statement that Reese hates Caitlin Clark. This is what got you, which is true. She does hate Caitlin Clark. She's a fucking little racist, Reese. And wrote that people and Reese's inner circle called him and told me I was right. That's what RG3's, RG3 has a white wife, I believe.

So that doesn't sit well with a few people, maybe not even Shaq. Reese responded in a post on X that was clearly pointed at Griffin III. Reese responded, lying on this app when everybody know the first and last name of everybody in my circle for clout is nasty work. I don't know what the fuck that means. Shut up! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut! Shut about Reese. I would respect it more if Lisa Leslie said it. Like that's women's basketball

players category, O'Neill added. Stay out of them people's category. God bless that LSU education. But how do you want, how the fuck, you may have a Shaq mad at you. But RG3 is pretty neutral when it comes to that shit. I'm telling you, and I hope I'm right about this, I'm pretty sure he had a white wife at one point. If I'm wrong, what are you gonna do? Take me to jail. Take me to jail.

Let's move on to how sweet it is to be loved by you and not sugar by you. I have been speaking. This is Donald Trump. I think he posted it I've been speaking to coca-cola This is what I love about him like the water pressure on that fucking he wants the water pressure back has he worked on that yet? Remember that promise he wants water pressure back in the hotels. I've been speaking to coca-cola I bet you people that even hate him but love Coca-Cola will give him a thumbs up on this one about using real cane sugar.

First of all, the original recipe had cocaine in it, if you remember. Do you know that? Yeah. Why doesn't he bring that back? Have a Coke and a smile. What'd you do? I just and a smile. What'd you do? I just had a coke.

Fucking shit is good. Let's go dancing. Oh. Copyright me. Anyways, about using sugar cane, sugar real, about using real cane sugar and coke in the United States, and they've agreed to do so, Trump said. He revealed that on Truth Social. Delicious.

Thank you. I'd like to thank all of those in authority at Coca-Cola, he said. This will be a very good move by them. You'll see it's just better. And anybody who knows, I'm not a huge soda fan in the first place. But when I do drink it, yeah, I drink fucking diet soda because they have the metabolism,

like I said, of a fucking paralyzed sea elephant. And they say Trump drinks 12 diet cokes a day. Colin Quinn used to drink, what did he tell me, a case and a half a day. Colin is one of those true artists. He's compulsive. You know, he had to quit drinking and drugging and because he can't do anything in moderation. Coca-Cola uses high fructose corn syrup in its U.S. production in contrast to cane sugar in countries like Mexico and the United Kingdom. In England they use the real sugar, so that explains their teeth. The soda makers switched to high fructose corn syrup

in the 80s over concerns about cost and agricultural requirement. There's the corporate mentality. Yeah, but it's bad for the, I don't give a fuck. We gotta meet the fucking deadline here. We gotta make our dough. And agricultural requirements, but many Coke fans still prefer the taste with real sugar. And you real coke fans do. Everybody will tell you that,

know the difference. Trump had a great quote, and this was years ago. He said, I've never seen a thin person drinking diet coke. Which means if you're not worried about the sugar intake, you'd rather the real thing. Excuse me, I'm trying to burp. Just had a diet orange. My wife's a Pepsi fan. Drives me nuts. Wherever we go... Well, there's a lot of Pepsi fans, but wherever we go she has to ask. I go, for fuck's sake, and they never have it. Usually. Most of the time they just go, just fucking switch.

I don't want to hear this again. I have never seen a thin person drink Diet Coke, the future president said back in 2012 in a tweet. Trump's discussions with food manufacturers have been in line with Make America Healthy Again Drive, led by Health and Human Service Secretary, he sounds like Flipper. Is that a real picture? That has to be done. Huh? You don't think somebody doctor that? He's like Eddie Askel. Yes,

Mrs. Cleaver. Frank Santarelli used to do a great, great bit about how it's tough to look, how it's hard to look tough when you're drinking out of a straw. Yell, I'll come over there and fuck you up. Say it again, I dare you. The administration has also approved waivers for several states to ban snap recipients from purchasing, that's like welfare for poor people, for purchasing soda and candy with government funds. And of course, Is it because we're black? Yes. and candy with government funds and of course IS IT BECAUSE WE'RE BLACK?

Yes You do see a lot of fat poor people folks and most of us know that is soda related I don't like this soda but I want something I can guzzle after three guzzles of fucking carbonation burns my throat and I sound like RFK Jr. I don't like it the only thing that should have fizzle in it is douche. Grow up. Fuck off. Finally tonight. No. Oh, we got two more.

What am I trying to get out of here? Kennedy crushes Kuerger. Who's Kennedy? Senator Kennedy from LA, Louisiana. You know who I'm talking about. You know the guy's like, now come on. He's just, he is the best. He's got that southern old man wisdom, logic, and his clips are all over the internet. When he sits into an investigation, he's grilling somebody. The logic and reasoning makes their heads explode. PBS president and CEO Paula Kerger on CNN this morning, can you imagine she said this, and this is a quote, people often struggle to come up with examples of left-wing bias at PBS. What the fuck did you just say? What? Actually, it's not a struggle at all said Kennedy. There he is.

He goes, he put on a whole, he had PowerPoint presentations. Here are just a few of PBS's biggest whiffs and Louisiana Senator Kennedy, John Kennedy, is going to put, he's going to pull up some things. He's going to point out how easy it is to point out. Remember her quote, it's hard to find left wing bias, which is fucking priceless. It says 2.5, was that February 5th? In Louisiana, a PBS video claimed that pre,

oh, these are the first couple that he proved wrong. In Louisiana, PBS video claimed that preschoolers may have racial bias That was a PBS thing PBS affiliate also advocated for males and women's sports to have support in their push for athletic access Yeah, no bias there. That's all right down the middle. See how fucking nuts they are They have the right to say this stuff Kennedy said but not where your money Now here he is pulling out something he brought the receipts as they say Here he is pointing out some other bias shit that PBS said

Here are a couple that you saw on This fucking easel get the thing straight up fucking kill you you saw on television. PBS paid for with your tax dollars. First headline, talking to young children about race and racism. That's called indoctrination. How America's history of racism connects to divisions today. Another headline from PBS. America's history of racism connects to divisions today. Another headline from PBS. The hidden racism of young white Americans.

Pause. And they're saying it's hard to find left-wing bias. That's how in their own cocoon they are and how little they talk to anybody who doesn't think like them. They see that as neutral. Because they're sanctimonious assholes. Go on Mr. Kennedy. You're tax dollars. Another headline, AP fact check. Trump seeds race animus with COVID falsehood.

Another headline, Biden trumpets economic gains but struggles to get credit. Another headline, Biden trumpets economic gains but struggles to get credit. Another headline from PBS, the other Olympians, transgender athletes in the Nazi area. Come on. Give me a break. He's not done. Here's some more. Here's more. Democracy on Trial, Part 1.

A blueprint for the case against Trump. That's not biased, is it? That's fair and balanced. Exactly. From PBS. Racism in the era of Trump and oral history. Another headline. These are headlines. But you know not biased. January 13th, 2020. Another. This one's really special. A serial liar. How Sarah Palin ushered in the post-truth political era in which Trump has thrived. Prove that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong.

have the education enough to admit when you're wrong. Oh, they're afraid of him. I've seen him make guys with, you know, PhDs and fucking sweat bullets. Why? Because it's all logic and reasoning. There's no emotion involved, which is all the left runs on, and he knows how to attack it. Finally, tonight and for the week, ladies and gentlemen, wow, real grassroots movement, huh?

CEO Adam Schwartz revealed his company, the company's called Crowds On Demand. How does that, I know, I'm going, I guess you can do that in America. Crowds On Demand, in other words, anyways, turned down $20 million contract to organize anti-trump protests Saying such demonstrations would be ineffective So he's not even turning it down on like moral grounds. He's turning it down because he doesn't think it's gonna work

You can hire crowds. We all know this when you there's another one coming I guess Today, yeah yeah happy birthday mom by the way July 17th yeah today this supposed to be anti-Trump protests all over the country why it's Thursday who what are you doing what are you fucking doing anyways here's the CEO who usually rents out crowds I can see you all some shit here's his take on why he turned down the contract. It's aligned with the organizers of the July 17th movement have approached us and in fact we rejected an offer that probably is worth around 20 million dollars. 20 million dollars? Correct I mean this is a

nationwide thing right it's not to say I would have made 20 million dollars personally but the value of the contract would have been worth around that amount nationwide to organize huge demonstrations around the country but personally I just don't think it's effective. So it's not I'm not trying to call myself virtuous for rejecting it. What I'm saying is, I'm saying I'm rejecting it not because I don't wanna take the business, but because frankly, this is going to be ineffective. It's gonna make us all look bad.

So he's in the business of, like I said, buying audiences or renting out. And it's people like Soros who come to him and say hey we need what does that tell you guys again when I say you guys you think like me I just wish there was three lefties watching what does that tell you when you have to buy the people you have to pay them to show up what does that tell you that there's no real fucking want of feelings by the actual American people for what you promoting yeah but we'll do it for money you have to fucking rent your audiences because nobody believes in the shit you selling on Thursday protests around the

country are being planned against Trump on my mother's birthday They didn't know it was a pops birthday Spareheaded by good trouble lives on a Group that calls itself a peaceful and nonviolent Protests and social chains organization they're planning to oppose Trump and what they call on their website the most brazen rollback of civil rights in generation Do they believe that I don't know if they just say it they do because they can't actually point to anything because nothing's happened What is he rolling back exactly? Oh?

What is he rolling back exactly? Oh Civil rights of the people he's deporting that shouldn't be here. That's who they're really talking about not you guys not American citizens, what's he rolling back? You got nothing the protest planned for Thursday also takes place on the fifth anniversary of the death of former rep John Lewis Democrat, Georgia He's already been dead five years. He was a racist, hated white people to the core, a civil rights leader who routinely referred to protests as good trouble. You remember this asshole, right? He was the one who said the Tea Party members were yelling the N-word at him and other black Democrat senators during a protest against Obamacare. Remember that? He said, and one

of the guys that was with him said, Devers his name was, or Evers, said that somebody spit on him. And the Tea Party members, remember the Tea Party, they're the people people would have a rally and pick up their own trash after. Old white people, by the way. And they were saying they would be in spit on call the N-word. Hey, where are the white women at? Andrew Breitbart, listen to this, the late great Andrew Breitbart, offered to donate $100,000 to the Negro College Fund if anybody had actually had audio of somebody yelling the n-word and shit but guess what there was no such thing nobody could supply the audio because it didn't happen and once again you've left this jerk off fall for it yeah he was a great guy he went through shit I know he's a black guy he's at that age where he did I

understand he did experience real racism But that doesn't give you the right to turn around and make shit up So I really don't miss you never will that's it for the week ladies and gentlemen boys and girls That's Dallas he hasn't slept in five days because of his kit. And it's cold in his house. Do that again please. I don't want to show all of you. That guy was trying to yell at Andrew Cuomo to turn the heat up in the nursing home. That's it.

You guys think that I'll say it. You're very welcome. And again, don't forget the brand new rumble lineup. I don't think it's new anymore. 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Eastern time. It's a ton of entertainment and information. You guys think that I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Hi, good night everybody. And everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away And everybody's happy now, the good things gonna stay Please let it stay Hey, hey, I saved the world today And everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away And everybody's happy now, the good things can stay Please let it Ooh, let it