The Nick DiPaolo Show - Cabin Fever vs Corona Fever | Nick Di Paolo Show #333

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

Biden accuser ups the ante. Fauci supports Trumps response. Rats rampaging to find food. Thank you James P. from Highlands Ranch for your "Ask Nick!" question and for being a valued supporter. And thanks Bosch F. for sending the video clip. FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Good evening, my fellow Americans. You know what I'm sick of? Being told what's acceptable comedy and what isn't. Okay? I know what is. It's all acceptable. There is no line. People always go, where's that line that you...

There is no line. That's in your head. We live in the United States. It's freedom of speech. I'm sick of this society where everybody gets a trophy. Everybody is the same. Couldn't be further from the truth. Some people are better than others.

You just can't say that out loud. But I have been since 1988, okay? And that's why this show was created, the Nick DiPaolo Show, Monday through Thursdays. You can watch it. You can watch it for free now. And because it's for free now,

we need your contributions financially. You can also sign up at patreon.com. There's two ways to do that. But more than ever, because the show is free, we need your contributions to keep it alive. And I'm going to keep calling it like I see it. I'm the original deplorable. If you don't believe it, watch Tough Crowd reruns. They go back to the late 90s.

I was saying this stuff. There's a lot of johnny come lately's out there who are taking credit for being politically incorrect now they never were this jumping on the bandwagon this is it's in my dna and people know that i'm selling out shows and thank god i have the best fans in the world and that's why we're giving the show a monday through thursday if you're watching it on youtube just click that button right now to subscribe like i said you can make a contribution at nickdip.com. Just click on the Nick DiPaolo show. I promise you, I will continue to speak the truth because there's two types of people,

politically correct and people who speak the truth. You and I are in the latter. I will continue to do that if you support the show. I can't tell you how much my fans mean to me. That is it. I want you all to enjoy the show. So, enjoy. guitar solo Yeah, yeah How are you folks? Welcome to the big show on a Tuesday State of Georgia

How you doing? Freezing your ass off up north? Not me. It's already kicking into the 90s down here. This fucking cord. Life is just a fucking pain in the cock head. Why is this cracking today? Fucking Jesus.

In a real fucking mood. I think I get this look because I'm watching Narcos. I'm fitting right in. Café y leche con crema y azúcar. That's a drug dealer ordering coffee.

That's Pablo Escobar. It is so good, folks. I laugh at people who always brag about how shit good a Netflix is. I'm a little late to the game, but my God, this TV's quality. Heads being chopped off, nice tits, Colombian ass. I mean, what do you want? Good to be with you, folks. Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be

unless they really wanted to be disliked. Yeah, is that right? I am your voice. Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you. Hope you guys are all corona-free. Why do people are getting itchy? That's the big story today.

I'll get to it in a second. People want to go back to work, you know? There's states like Wyoming going, what the fuck? Nobody even has the sniffles here. You're tanking our economy. But even in the Northeast, we'll show a clip of Cuomo later. Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, they're preparing to get back to fucking normal because you know what? As President Trump said, we don't want the cure to be worse than the disease. And it's crushing the economy. And a lot of these jobs are not coming back.

Ask people from Michigan. They're starting to organize. They have a nitwit mayor out there. Nitwit. Nitwitmer. Her name's Witmer. She's brand new. Dumb broad.

Just awful government. Has no idea. I don't even think she knows the definition of tyranny she's overreaching being a typical chick nanny saying what businesses can work what can't uh home depot you can't have the paint section on fucking ubats people are getting sick of it because they know those jobs won't come back so people are getting itchy they're starting to organize i'll get to that in a few minutes though but let's get to our favorite fella again who everybody's forgotten about the democrat nominee which he's not going to be let me just say that you guys know that this guy biden has fucking lost

his mind never had a mind to begin with now it's got layer upon layer of senility on it he's not going to be the guy somebody's going to jump in there fucking i think it's going to be the guy. Somebody's going to jump in there. Fucking. I think it's going to be Obama's homeless brother in Nigeria or wherever the fuck he is. Kenya. Anybody's going to jump. But Biden, he can't do it. I mean, Cuomo, there's a million people. Biden's just. But anyways, he's in the news. We touched on this a few weeks ago. The headline here is a woman broadens claims against Joe Biden to include sexual. That's right, folks. Sexual assault. Raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. The Biden campaign says the incident alleged to have occurred in 1993 absolutely did not happen.

Yeah, you assist his ass. Can we just make a look? And it's not just Biden, Demick. This crosses all party lines. Guys are just fucking animal. The older we get, the more animalistic we get. Okay, so. But if you're going to go after guys like Trump

for saying grab the pussy and shit, Joe Biden, get ready to take the heat. A woman who briefly worked as an aid for former vice president joe biden in the 1990s has expanded her claims that he harassed her to now include an instance of sexual assault which of course his nitwits are denying but we all know these guys are psychos the woman tara reed first made the assault allegation public last month saying in a podcast interview that biden then a veteran senator from Delaware and powerful committee chairman, penetrated her with his fingers under her skirt when she brought him a gym bag in the spring of 1993. Then he said, oh, yeah, let's see who can do more pushups.

I'll get on top of you. By the way, that's that's what she looks like now she was a piece of ass on the day at the at the time she was a staff assistant on uh capitol hill when horny joe pulled his nonsense but we don't know i think we do nbc news so uh consider the source has spoken spoken with Reid multiple times since she came forward with the assault allegation on March 25th and has also spoken with five people with whom Reid said she shared varying degrees of detail over time. Three of those people said on the record that they do not recall any such conversation with Reid. Sure you don't. Remember what they did to Kavanaugh? Remember MSNBC?

There was a black guy calling him a rapist. And everybody was calling him a rapistist and they had no fucking evidence whatsoever. But you don't hear much of this, do you? On the rest of the networks. Is CNN covering asked that her name not be mentioned, blah, blah, blah, said she remembers Reid telling her that she spoke with superiors in Biden's office about harassment, but not the assault. She also recalled that Reid told her she filed a formal written complaint with the Senate personnel office at the time. who also spoke with NBC News anonymously, recalled that Reid told her in the mid-20s that Biden had been inappropriate and touched her when she worked in his office, but that she didn't detail the alleged assault. Reid said that she also told her mother,

my me, my boss, a finger in me, who has since died. Why is this cracking today, Raz? Cracking down a little bit. There you go. I don't know. It's not probably if it is cut it out um reed said she also told her mother who had died and her brother who told the intercept that he remembers having been told about an incident at the time former biden staffers including his former chief of staff ted kaufman and his longtime executive assistant marian baker were both named by reed as having had been told about the harassment at the time.

But both of them assholes have no recollection. I wonder why that is. Biden's campaign has said the alleged assault absolutely did not happen. You're lying. Yeah, you're full of shit. And you're a piece of shit. Thursday evening, Reed filed an official complaint with the D.C. police. The public incident report, which is one page long and doesn't name Biden, was obtained by NBC News and recounts an assault sometime from March 1st to May 31st, 1993.

Reid confirmed that she is subject to one in the report and Biden subject to it is illegal to falsify police reports. And the statute of limitations for prosecuting the allegation has passed. So what's she doing? and the statute of limitations for prosecuting the allegation has passed. So what's she doing? She also said that at the time of the incident, she filed a formal complaint through a Senate personnel office. In it, she said she complained of harassment but didn't allege an assault. Reid's new allegation comes at a highly sensitive moment, not just for Biden as he moves forward as a nominee,

but also amid a larger societal reckoning with how to seriously address people's accounts of sexual harassment and assault in the hashtag MeToo era. What are we doing? What's going on right now? What's going on right now? The FBI wants to sniff your fingers.

That's what's going on, you silly bitch. I'm sorry, but you think she's making this shit up? Give me a fucking break. But why do you wait this long to file a police report? I don't know. That makes it a little skeptical. It was just over a year ago that Nevada legislature, remember Lucy Flores, came forward with her story. We cover this of Biden inappropriately touching and kissing her without consent.

Flores was the first of several women who would soon come forward in interviews with the NBC News and other outlets at the time, recount how the self-described tactile politician close physical contact made them feel very, very uncomfortable. Very. Come on, man. I heard you like me. That was his quote to her. First of all, you're calling her when she was young and hot in her 20s, you're calling her man? Come on, man. Everybody knows it's bitch. Come on, man. I heard you like, what is this, eighth grade? I heard

you like me. Mary Johnson told me in science class. Fucking old dummy. And you know you can't ask him about it because he can't remember what he had for breakfast today. Never mind something that happened in 1993. Silly goose. Joey, Joey, Joey, you are off to a fucking bad start. Get out of the fucking way. Got a lot of coffee meat, folks. I'm trying to.

I said I was going to work out yesterday. You know, I did. Went home and I had two pieces of strawberry pie that I made. Ate them in my sweats. And watched about four hours of TV. Fucking horrible. It gets worse. It gets harder as you get older.

Jack LaLanne, remember him? He had the TV show. He's the first guy to work out on TV. Pulls the tugboat with his teeth. They asked him in an interview when he was like 90. I think he's still alive. Maybe not. But they go, do you still enjoy working?

He goes, I fucking hate it. The face of exercise. Coronavirus, stay at homehome orders this is the big story today to for me uh stirs protests nationwide amid fears of economics economic collapse people are getting sick of uh you know they're getting sick of the state there's a lot of people healthy they don't know how this is transmitted you staying in the house with a bunch of people might even be worse but states are watching their economies collapse and they're getting really freaking nervous and uh so um they're staging nationwide protests in some states they want to go back to work you know because they know their job might not be there independent at at least 15 000 cars and trucks are expected to descend on michigan state capital on wednesday to protest what they're calling uh the aforementioned governor gretchen whitmer

i call her a nit whitmer pterical new guidelines to slow the spread of the northern will you quit saying novel coronavirus you're fucking up my reads jesus fucking h christ we all know what it is dirty chinese eating turtles and shit the so-called drive-by demonstration in order to maintain social distancing aims to bring traffic to a gridlock in Lansing, Michigan, and protests the stay-at-home, stay-safe executive order by, it just sounds like a chick, stay home, stay safe, a Democrat mandating what, listen to what she's doing.

She is like, she's a tyrant. She's mandating what businesses could stay home, what some businesses could sell, and ordering people interstate against any gatherings, no matter their size or family ties. Quarantine, somebody says, is when you restrict movement of sick people. Tyranny is when you restrict the movement of healthy people.

Mashon Maddox said that. Sounds like a black chick or a black fella. Whoever said it, they're right on the money. Mashon. Ain't no white people know Mashon. Mashon. What do you, Raz, help me out with the history of black names. I don't know. Huh? LaShonda fucking, give me some guys' names. What do you think we're going to think you're French? Le Tyrone.

It's from Paris, motherfucker. But Michonne Maddox said that. An organizer of the protest with Michigan Conservative Coalition. Uh-oh, conservatives. I don't know. Every person has learned a harsh lesson about social distancing. We don't need a nanny state to tell people how to be careful.

I love it. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore. The protest called Operation Gridlock would be just one of a number of demonstrations of civil disobedience. When you get white people to do civil disobedience, there's some shit

going on. They're going to be throwing fucking, they're going to be breaking windows at Bed Bath & Beyond and Gucci. I did that joke during the OJ thing when I fucking came out the room. Civil disobedience around the country by Americans upset with their state's

stay-at-home orders amid the pandemic. While the contagion has infected 568,000 Americans, killed over 23,000, according to the latest, as protesters from North Carolina to Wyoming said they've been just as concerned with economic and financial impact the coronavirus has inflicted on the country. Echoing what the great leader, President Trump, said, we don't want the cure to be worse than the problem. Alex Berenson, a former New York Times reporter. This is the New York Times. This is coming from a guy in the New York Times or a chick.

Alex can be either or. Who has been sounding the alarm about, oh, it's a he. What he believes are flawed models dictating the aggressive strategy. Strategy. Who am I, George W.? Hey, strategy. Nucleo. the aggressive strategy, strategy, who am I, George W.? Hey, strategy, nuclear. Drew attention to the protests in North Carolina as well as social media uproar in Michigan.

As someone wrote me, people in Michigan know when you lose jobs that they don't come back, he tweeted. As for unemployment, some 16.8 million Americans have lost their jobs, Raz jobs in the last three weeks. Meaning one in ten working Americans is out of a job. Think about that.

We had the lowest unemployment in the history of this country a couple months ago. That's why I still say it's a setup. Nick, you're paranoid. I don't give a fuck. If you wanted to hurt

Trump's administration that's the way to do it. I'm telling you you're going to find pictures of Pelosi peeing on a bed at a hotel in Beijing with another chick. As for unemployment, some 16.8 million Americans have lost a job. I think I just said that.

Yeah, the figures collectively constituted the largest and fastest string of job losses in records dating to 1940 fucking eight by contrast during the great recession that was 2008 it took 44 weeks which is roughly 10 months for unemployment claims to go as high as they now have in less than a month wow i'm telling you, folks, get a podcast. It'll trickle in, but, you know. I'm eating bologna and dog food three days a week.

You should notice the hair needs a fucking chopping, too. Guy Fawkes mask. You know what those are? You know those white, you know, when you see the, you know what, the anarchists running around breaking shit, they're in a riot. They have those white masks on with a mustache. That's Guy Fawkes. He's some French army rebel. Guy Fawkes masked, ignored Ohio social distancing guidelines to demonstrate on steps of the state building in Columbus against Governor Mike DeWine, a Republican, and his administration's handling of the outbreak. But I think they have like really low numbers as far as people dying and shit.

So he has a good argument. But again, not if you're going to tank the economy and hurt it permanently. Demonstrators held signs reading, open Ohio, quarantine worse than virus, and social distancing or social conditioning. We do not consent. And that's the big fear. After this is over, remember after 9-11, everybody was shitting their pants about the Patriot Act and our civil

liberties going down the toilet and blah, blah, blah. This is even more severe than that. Because this is touching all fat. You don't know when we come back and they say you can go back. I hope to God they don't keep some of these rules in place. You know what I mean? Like going into a supermarket and you have to follow arrows. Not that I know. I got a Mexican made a shop to me. You got to follow arrows. Outside at the store,

they have it marked off. So waiting to get in, you're six feet apart. That's what my maid told me. Isabella, how are you? I said, I don't want to hear it, bitch. Those avocados ain't going to fucking last all day. A Facebook group called Reopen North Carolina has brought in over 21,000 members since it launched last Tuesday.

And it's planning to gather and protest later this week. it's planning to gather and protest later this week. Other protesters in Michigan said the orders not only hurt the economy, but also damaged their way of life, even may have killed more people than the virus. Whitmer, Mitt Whitmer, the chick who's the governor, is making a criminal out of all of us, Maddock added. People just need to use some common sense. We can't just shut down the entire state. Whitmer has remained steady in her stupidity and resolve that Michigan needed to stick to its strict stay-at-home orders if the state wanted to tackle the virus as soon as possible. We are living in a difficult time, she says, and the unknown is scary. Oh, thank you for lecturing us, she tweeted. But I do know that we must remain steady. We can't allow fear or panic to guide us.

You know, we can't allow tyrants to guide us either. The lives of Michiganders are at stake. We must stay the course to save lives. Stay steady. We're going to get through this together. I don't want to, they don't want to be with you. They don't like you. Enjoy your fucking last term and first term. They should recall her. Them Dems, they love that government. You understand that, don't you? That's the whole parties, right?

They're the party of fucking handouts and welfare and shit. You know why? They like to keep people living at a subsistence level. Otherwise, they have no use. Anyways, yeah, so she's saying we must stay the course,

save lives, stay, and we're going to get through this together and most Michigan guys are saying to her. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. And use gloves.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, along with Northeastern governors, this surprises shit out of me, Raz. New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Delaware announced a regional effort to eventually reopen the economy in a coordinated way

amid the coronavirus crisis. West Coast governors announced similar plans. But here's what surprises me. That's Northeast. That's very, you're talking a highly, the highly,

the most densely, you know, New Jersey per capita, most densely populated state in the nation, and New York. And so, you know, it'll be a little more dangerous up there. But I like the fact that they're thinking about it.

But they don't mention, do they, when they talk about implementing these go back to work plans. Fonzie, otherwise known as Andrew Cuomo. Here's what he had to say. To be smart, you need the best public health plan and you need the best economic reactivation plan. He's coloring his hair. It's not either or. public health plan and you need the best economic reactivation plan. He's coloring his hair. It's not either or. It has to be both. Why is he dressed like Rodney Dangerfield?

Oh, I'll tell you. People are dying. We can't. We got to do both. You know, you open two. People die. Well, I'll tell you. Jersey tough.

You know what I'm saying? I get no. You know, my doctor, Dr. Anthony Fauci. Oh, yeah. is he tough you know what i'm saying i get no you know my doctor dr anthony fauci oh but that surprised me a little bit those states you know those are big government states massachusetts fucking democrat new york new jersey all blue within my sister's balls. That's right, she has balls. Is that not irritating? Speaking of Fauci, Anthony Fauci. What are you looking at, Rez?

You're not paying attention. What are you doing? Come on, we're on that fucking air. Talk to me. I'm ready. What are you doing come on we're on that fucking air talk to me i'm ready what are you doing yeah don't do that during the show huh emergency my ass terrell sucks is leaving your house right now your wife's smoking a cigarette looking out their front window fucking guys you just like jason jason used to be going what are you doing i'm texting my sister-in-law cigarette looking out their front window. Fucking guys. You're just like Jason. Jason used to be going, what are you doing?

I'm texting my sister-in-law. Apparently she made some delicious fucking mac and cheese. Dr. Anthony Fauci. You know, yesterday we talked about how there was a little Trump retweeted. Somebody tweeted fire Fauci. Excuse me. Trump retweeted it. In my opinion, he was sending Fauci, excuse me, Trump retweeted it. In my opinion, he was sending Fauci

a message through the media. You know? And they asked him about it. I didn't pull the clip of Trump. And you know what? He got caught. He was with his pants down. No, I didn't. But yeah. So there was tension, a lot of tension, at least by the mainstream media blowing it up,

saying that maybe Trump will fire Fauci and whatnot. But Anthony Fauci, he had done an interview on CNN with Jake Tapper, where he said, yeah, people died because we didn't act fast enough, blah, blah, blah. But he said he was taken out of context, so

he went on the record yesterday during the conference. He's doing the hi, Hitler, just to get under trump's good grace but here's what fauci had to say about his relationship and whether trump listens to him or not the first and only time that dr burks and i went in and formally made a recommendation to the president to actually have a, quote, shutdown. OK, Trump's about 6'3", I'd say. What's Fauci? 4'11"? Holy fucking moly.

Doctor, what was that show with the kid doctor? Googie Howser? Googie Howser. Could I get any older? What was that show with the kid doctor? Googie Howser? Howser? Googie Howser. Could I get any older? What was that show with a little kid? Googie Howser? Look at him. Look at him. Fucking midget. Go ahead. Down in the sense of not really shut down, but to really have strong mitigation. We discussed it. Obviously, there would be concern by some that, in fact, that might have some negative consequences. Nonetheless, the president listened to the recommendation and went to the mitigation. The next second time that I went with Dr. Birx into the president and said, 15 days are not enough.

We need to go 30 days. Obviously, there were people who had a problem with that because of the potential secondary effects. Nonetheless, at that time, the president went with the health recommendations. Do you hear that, folks in the mainstream media who hate Trump? And Fauci made a request with dr burks twice trump listened twice he wanted to clear it up he stepped up right at the beginning of the thing so that's

what he said and i believe all righty then uh anyways and then a reporter from cbs when did all the reporters turn into like 28 year old chicks from junior colleges who have never fucking voted Republican in their lives and just hate everything Trump? When did that happen? You notice the press, they all look alike. Janine Garofalo glasses. And again, I like Janine. I just don't like her glass. Uh, or even Kennedy's glasses, who I love.

Uh, but they have those glasses on. Just looking to pick. Why didn't you stop this before it started? Is basically the tone to every question. Why weren't you ready for a pandemic the whole world wasn't ready for? You should have had everything ready. You're the president. Lick my fucking taint.

That wasn't necessary. But anyways, a CBS chick, Reid asked Fauci, are you doing this voluntarily? And he said, it's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. He actually replied in a short tone. Don't even imply that. Imagine you're pissing off the good doctor. But I hope my nieces are right, Nicole and Brooke.

They both have it. Nicole tested positive a couple. Not the first one I told you about. Brooke and Nicole, my nieces. God bless them on the front lines. Here you go, because this proves how dangerous it's still. Photos shared among emergency room staff at Sinai Grace Hospital in Detroit. Does anything go smoothly in Detroit?

Poor pricks. They can't keep a Quiznos open at 1 o'clock on a Saturday with a booming economy. I've done comedy there. I've driven around and I love those people. I'm just saying. Anyways, at Sinai Grace Hospital, Detroit shows bodies being stored in vacant hospital rooms, piled up on top of each other inside refrigerators, refrigerated holding units that were brought into the parking lot. Look at these pictures. I mean, look at it. It's a weekend at Barney's over there on the right. I once found that when I walked into a Red Roof Inn.

They said, you're in 209. I opened the door. And it's a couple of pastry bags on my bed and a fucking, oh my God, these poor people, huh? Probably a couple on the tub too look on the left looks like my shoe closet it's a mess what the hell's going on out here nothing it's detroit we're doing the best we can two sources uh tell cnn that at least one room which typically used for studies on sleeping habits that's what those ones on the beds were uh because the morgue staff did not work a night

and the morgue was full. All I know is we ran out of beds to keep our patients on, so we couldn't spare any for the bodies, said one ER worker. And the photo, two bodies were put on a bed side by side. Another body's placed in a chair

like fucking Bernie. All three bodies in white body bags. Something surprising for the Detroit. It was because we hadn't gotten our outside freezers yet. And when we did, we put 400 pounds of smoked ribs in there. What? Who said that? It's a black rib joke.

Anybody? So in response to this incident, two hospital ER workers told CNN that the hospital decided to order portable refrigerator storage units to store balls. I wonder if they're keeping like the midgets and dwarfs in the mini fridge. Reached in for Snickers. Grab the guy's balls. In response to this incident, on CNN visited the hospital Five refrigerated storage units could be seen in the parking lot And another photo obtained by CNN

For an emergency room worker Body bags are shown overlapping each other Inside a refrigerated unit God these poor people They say the blue bags shown on the photo Are the personal effects of the disease Bodies are definitely double stacked on the floor Jesus

There's no lift to help put the bodies on the shelf in response to a call for a comment hospital spokesman brian taylor told cnn patients who pass away at our hospital are treated with respect and dignity remaining on site in a nice recliner in room 207 yeah Yeah. Call that dignity? Fucking thrown on a bed like a fucking suitcase until they can properly be, I'm sure they're doing the best they can,

but come on, don't lie to us. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So that's in Detroit, man. Just to, it goes to, and seriously, you gotta,

you feel bad for these people. I'm gonna do a story in a few minutes about a like a coroner who got it from a dead person they say it's the first of its kind in the world they don't know how it's transmitted that's the problem there's been 19 different theories every day excuse me and you know why because china China fucking lied. And people died. Raya, Raya, pass on fire. Anyways, as you guys know, the Donald, the Donaldstuff.com are big sponsors of the show. And we really appreciate them for that.

To help keep us all safe and healthy and to help us keep our sense of humor, they created these face masks. Check this out. We got, that's a, they call it a face mask it looks like okay that'd fit a guy with a square head looks like a bra for a titlis wonder no that's a face mask wear that that'll uh how timely are these though seriously they're great if you know someone who needs a face mask, grab one of these and have them shipped directly to them.

This guy, we got a white criminal about to jack somebody for fucking WWE tickets. How funny would that be to send a Trump face mask to your lib mother-in-law? Anyway, lots of great stuff on thedonaldstuff.com. Any other ones, Rez? Oh, there's that handsome double. Go there, check out all the gear. And look at that.

That was me when I was voted prom king. When you use the promo code Nick, you get 10% off, not just these masks, but everything on the website, everything. Go to thedonaldstuff.com, pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat, support these guys, and we thank them for sponsoring the Nick DiPaolo Show, and we really do.

First case of dead patient passing on coronavirus to a medical examiner is reported in Thailand. Ah, that doesn't count. I wonder if the pedophiles stopped banging the kids over there when Corona broke out. That's what I heard

is a lot of underage prostitutes. I'm looking at a condo over there. I'd like to get me a little 12-year-old Thailand boy. Feed me grapes. I'm not going to touch them sexually. I need some love. Anyways, researchers warned in a letter published

in the Journal of Forensic and Legal Medicine, which Raz subscribes to, that forensic workers would have to guard themselves against infection. Health organizations such as the World Health Organization, which is a total farce, have urged people handling dead bodies to be careful because it is still not fully understood how the virus spreads. Oh, thank you, World Health Organization, for finally coming clean fucking months into this.

Too busy blowing Xi Jinping. Scientists said there was a low chance that a forensic examiner would have come in contact with an infected patient normally, but they do have contact with dead bodies. I hope none of them are. Kinison had a whole bit of a, gay guys who like to fuck dead bodies. It's the funniest fucking thing. He goes, he goes, imagine that, you're dead, you're laying on the slab in the morgue.

Well, I guess that's it. Went through that horrible life and shit and can't get any worse than this. I'm finally at rest. What the fuck? It's one of the funniest bits ever. I love Sam Kinnison, rest his soul. But they do have contact with dead bodies. This is true.

I know a thing or two about a thing or two. At present, there is no data on the exact number of COVID-19 contaminated corpses because they are not routinely checked. Why not? Nevertheless, infection control and universal precautions are necessary. Nevertheless, infection control and universal precautions are necessary. Forensic professionals have to wear protective devices, including a protective suit, gloves, goggles, cap, and mask. Jesus Christ. Now, hold on a second.

They're more protected than the nurses and people who are dealing with the live ones that we know have it. This disinfection procedure used in operation rooms might be applied in pathology slash forensic units too. The researchers say that according to our best knowledge, it is the first such case anywhere in the world. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Well, if you're the World Health Organization, yeah, probably. Thailand has reported 2,613 cases of corona and 34 deaths according to the country's department of disease control medics are particularly warned against coming into contact with body fluids well who the hell would be doing that it's not like uh you make a dead man come that was a line out of the stones excuse me folks i smoke you know that That was a line out of the stones. Excuse me, folks.

I smoke. You know that. Son of a bitch. Lung custard. Patreon question. Patreon question. James P. Highlands Ranch, Colorado. Would you rather have a nipple-sized penis or a penis-sized nipple?

Whereas we can do better than this. I know, but move to the last one. What? A very pertinent question. I know, but move to the last one. What? A very pertinent question. I know, but... See, this is when it doesn't work because the joke is in the question. You know what I mean?

Obviously, I'd want fucking penis-sized nipples. I'd want neither of those. Depends what... You say penis-sized nipples. Some guys have micro-dicks, so they look like nipples down there. That's a guy who told me that I was blowing in the men's room at JFK. I just like a penis like a porn star penis, you know? Give me a fucking, something where the girls actually start getting nervous when you take off your underwear.

That's all I want. Not the fucking average cock. Give me something that puts the fear of death in these broads. You know what I mean? I would... What, Russ? As a follow-up to that, there was a guy who said...

There's a follow-up question to the nipple penis? Well, no, but we forgot the Bob Odenkirk clip. No, you forgot it, producer. No, I'm not. Yes, you did. The fuck? You're here for me. I don't support you.

You want to play it now? Yes. Bob Odenkirk, you know who he is, right? From the Breaking Bad, Saul. What's his new show, Rez? Better Call Saul? Better Call Saul. Bob Odenkirk, him and David Cross had a very funny show.

I think it was the big show or something on HBO. Really funny dude. Great fucking actor. I don't know if he's a Boston guy or not, too. I think I remember him in Boston. Maybe not. But anyways, I'm a big fan of his work because I think he's a great actor and a funny dude. He was in stand-up, too.

But anyways, one of our followers, who was it, Raz? Bosch. Bosch. What is it was a stand-up too uh but anyways one of our followers who was it razz bosh bosh far what is it boston bosh boston was listening to a podcast who was the guy on the podcast i don't know i'm sorry but he was on smallville he was the bad guy on smallville he was the bad guy in smallville thanks for getting his name right i. Really producing your balls off today. Anyways, Odin Kirk was on his podcast and said this about me. I don't get political. Who's funny? You know who's real conservative.

Who's a friend of yours. Very conservative. Who is funny? Isn't Norm McDonald kind of conservative? Is he? I think he's really funny. He's brilliant. He's one of the funniest guys ever. Absolutely. I always thought Nick DiPaolo was pretty damn funny.

Who's Nick DiPaolo? I should know that. He's a comic. Oh, fucking good. Yeah, very conservative. And he is very conservative. But you find him funny. He can be damn funny.

God bless you, Bob Odenkirk, because he's a funny motherfucker. And same with David Cross, who I hate his politics. He's a fucking real lib who got picked on. But they're funny dudes. And I don't like the fact this guy didn't know who the hell I was. Michael Rosenbaum. Oh, Michael Rosenbaum, my dentist, didn't know who I was. But I'm a big fan of Odenkirk's, man.

And that was nice to frigging hear. Something else I wanted to say about that, but I, I, I, but I'm a big fan of Odin Kirk's man. And then, uh, that was nice to frigging hear something else. I wanted to say about that, but I forget, I don't know, but thank you, Bob. Oh,

I'm not. He said, he's really conservative. I'm not guys. You know that who watched the show. I don't care about gay marriage. Don't, it doesn't bother me at all.

Don't really have an opinion. I'm not a pro-lifer. I'm not religious. You know what I mean? You're fucking hardly conservative. Talk like a filthy pirate. You know what I'm saying? And I've visited prostitutes when I was younger,

so I don't think you hear Mark Levin doing that. And I was blown by him. So, but you keep getting labeled after tough crowd. You know, in show business, if you are to the right of center on two out of 100 issues, you're a Nazi to them.

So you get labeled with conservative, you know. And after a while, you just go, I don't mind people calling me that. Because right now, the other side is so wrong about everything. But I'm hardly a conservative. A church going, you know, your typical conservative. I don't like how the government spends fucking money.

I'm definitely conservative or not. And as far as race goes, which I'm going to touch on, you know, I call it like I see it. And conservatives think like I do on that issue, but they have no balls to say it out loud. Anyways, medical work. This is a story about the Patriots. They remember they got mass. They went to China with the Patriots jet and they got they got a bunch of masks. And it turns out some of them weren't N95. They were K. And it's like buying masks at whatever, at Marshall's. They're irregulars or whatever.

They weren't perfect. And people, meanwhile, they can use them. It was a story kind of people is whining about nothing, in my opinion. But they didn't like them. You know why they didn't like them? Because they came from the fucking only dynasty in the history of the NFL. Then don't use them. Use them for toilet paper.

Just shut your mouth. Kraft even sent some to New York. Jets fans had to say thanks to the Pats. And Robert said, thank you guys for sucking for the last 30 years so we could win that division. And Robert said, thank you guys for sucking for the last 30 years so we can win that division. How about this Virginia pastor who defiantly held church services, right? He fucking just said, I'm packing my church. He actually showed it off online. You know, he said, I'm going to pack my church unless I'm in jail or a hospital. Well, guess what?

He died from coronavirus. Oh, boy. He dead now. i can't find him where are we res what page this is what i mean he's gone and we couldn't do nothing about it he could do nothing about it in his last known in-person service on March 22nd, Bishop Gerald O'Glenn, a black Irishman, got his congregation at Richmond's New Deliverance Evangelical Church to stand to prove how many were there despite warnings against gathering of more than 10 people. And he was kind of showing off. And guess what? He's gone now. I am like God and God like me.

I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. Beneath him be. Selassius, 17th century. God, that chills up my ass. I don't know why. Anyways, he said, I firmly believe that God is larger than this dreaded virus.

You can quote me on that, he said. Not anymore, we can't. Repeating it a second time to clap, saying that people are healed in this church. Happily announcing he was being controversial by being in violation of safety protocols with way more than 10 people at the church. He vowed to keep his church open unless I'm in jail or the hospital, he said. I am essential, he said, of remaining open. And I am a preacher. I talk.

He says, I talk to God. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there?

Anybody there? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Anybody there? Hey, we have another sponsor, a new sponsor on the show. I'm very proud of this, guys. This sponsor read is for all my Georgians. You know, this is my new state. I just moved down here from New York last year. It's one of the best decisions you ever made. I love it. I love it. Always loved the South. And anyway, the guys at Roofing Remedies in Atlanta are big fans of the show and are now sponsors. And I couldn't tell you how much I appreciate that, guys. Like I said, these guys are out of Atlanta and they do great work. Commercial roof repair, residential roof repair, metal roofs, shingle roofs, the roof of your mouth, they'll fix it. You name it.

If you've got tax return money or stimulus money burning a hole in your pocket and need your roof fixed immediately, check out these guys at roofingremediesrepairs.net. That's roofingremediesrepairs.net. net that's roofing remedies repairs.net um i'd hate to be on a roof in georgia working on your own roof in this freaking heat ouch so let them handle it that's roofing remedies repair.net and we thank them for sponsoring the nick topala show and uh i love it georgia sponsor let me get to this one ah let me yeah we're about 45 minutes in uh starving angry and cannibalistic what is that america's rats are getting desperate amid coronavirus pandemic even the rats have fell in the pinch they're saying let us go free let's go back to work motherfuckers there's garbage to eat

out here we starving america's rats are being hit by the coronavirus as millions of americans shelter indoors to combat the deadly virus many businesses including restaurants and grocery stores have closed or limited operations cutting off many rodents main source for food on uh deserted streets across the country rats are in dire survival mode, experts say. They're getting pretty pissed. Look at this fucker in a cage. That's a rat?

Maybe he's pissed because he's a foot long and you have him in a nine-inch cage. Let me guess, is that on the counter in some Chinese lady's fucking kitchen?

Did you hear that? He also has a sinus infection. Fucking rat. If you take rats that have been established in the area or somebody's property and they're doing well,

the reason they're doing well the reason they're doing well is because they're eating well bobby cargan said that he's a rat specialist ever since coronavirus broke out not a single thing has changed with them because someone's doing their trash exactly the same in their yard as they've always done they're doing it poorly so they get to eat but many other rats are not faring as well um he works with health departments and businesses and at shopping malls and airports. A restaurant all of a sudden closes now, which has happened by the thousands, not

just New York City, but coast to coast around the world. And these rats that were living on that delicious food, the cheese, come in here rat at the cheesecake factory hanging out that dumpster? Fuck. What is this guy holding? That's the kind of dick I want. Cut the tail off that. And shave it. That's kind of dick I want. Cut the tail off that and shave it.

That's about the size I want. Is there anything wrong with that? That rat looks like it's about to be put into a bun with hot cherry peppers. That's a fucking, look at this guy. He found it in his chili, Wendy's. The point is, the restaurants are going out of business, and these rats are starving, so they get nutty. Generations of rats that depended on a restaurant for no longer working, now they only have a couple choices. And those choices are grim. They include cannibalism. They're eating each other. Rat battles and infanticide. They're eating the babies.

I'm sure China probably goes, so we cook the baby. We put it with garlic and red sauce. Fucking gross. That's all I get to say. Fucking rat anyways. Whole family's all rats. Who would have loved to be a rat? Rats whose food sources have vanished will not just move into other colonies

and cause fights over the grub. They'll also eat one another. Delicious. Thank you. Thank you. Show the videos, Rez. This video shows rats in the middle of the street. That's New Orleans.

Focused more on survival, viable, than social distancing. Nothing a steamroller couldn't cure. You know what I'm saying? Put a little cheese on that wheel. Finally tonight, this one pissed me off. I should have done this at the... Should I save this for tomorrow? This video... What are you doing relax

i'm gonna save this for tomorrow you guys heard about the nascar kyle larson he's a nascar he's suspended for using a racial slur during a virtual race because they can't have real races. They do virtual races online. Are you telling me people watching that? I know, white fucking, and I'm done fucking reading it. Anyways, he used the N-word during the virtual race thing. And he's losing sponsors. And I'm furious about all of it because it's so goddamn silly.

No, I'm not condoning. I'm just saying, I'll get into it tomorrow. When you read it, it's going to make you furious. Black people have to be laughing at white people. What we've turned this word into. It is just unfucking real.

Let me do that tomorrow. I'll tease you on that one. We'll open with that one because it's 110 degrees in here. I just saw a rat run by Raz's feet. And he went... Get him a tissue, for Christ's sake. And I'll also get to a guy who beat up his cellmate in a Florida,

where else, Florida jail, taking a stinky dump. That and more on Meet the Press. Thank you for Patreon support. That's right. I had him right here. Thank you, Raz. press that's right I had him right here Thank You Rez now that's producing well done I would have forgot that I gotta thank you guys for keeping this show alive again we go you know for you you can contribute financially a one-time contribution at I'm saying a one-time cut you can contribute as much as you want every day.

Nickdip.com. You can make a, or you can sign up at patreon.com and you'll be a monthly contributor. If you do that, you get an extra story every day that nobody else gets. You get to ask me a question and you get access to over 300 shows we've previously done. And if you guys have a company out there and you want it like our new sponsor today, you want to talk business, go to NickDip.com. I want to thank one-time contributors, Edward Burrell, North Carolina. Edward T. Murray, Jr., New York. John Kempkes, New York.

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Thomas Pescali, New York. Jesse Weston, Illinois. James Bruce, Canada. James Jesse Weston, Illinois. James Bruce, Canada. James Catalanotto, Louisiana. And monthly supporters, we had Wayne Smith and Eric Brecht, who I mentioned in the early one. Thank you guys so much for supporting the show. As you know, we need it Monday through Thursday, 5 o'clock Eastern. We're free.

And the numbers are going up on YouTube. Talking to my manager today on Libsyn, Instagram. And it's growing like we want it to grow. And that's because of you guys. So I can't thank you enough. Is that it, Roz? Cameo.com. You know about Cameo.

If you want me to send a personal video message roasting one of your friends, go too.com click on my profile tell me about the person then i'll go cuckoo also uh i've been meaning to mention uh most of the encore stories are usually funny as hell yeah as opposed to the regular show with it raz likes the encore ones much better no we usually cover hard-hitting pertinent news. Yes. During the Bay Show. Yes, exactly. So anyways, that is it.

You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. Stay corona-free. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. guitar solo guitar solo I'm I'm I'm I'm