The Nick DiPaolo Show - Caitlyn vs. Newsom...Arm Wrestling | Nick Di Paolo Show #537

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Caitlyn Jenner sits down with Hannity. More cover ups of voter fraud in Maricopa county. Biden for banning more speech on social platforms. South Carolina to bring back firing squad executions.

Hey guys, I want to thank you so much for supporting this show. Free speech will always reign here, and it's only possible because of you guys. After all the problems with YouTube and the social media shadow banning and shit, not only are we still here, we are expanding. By the end of May, and this is for certain, we will have this show finally on Roku, We will have this show finally on Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, Android TV, and even an app for your iPhone or Android mobile device. That's right. Finally.

Yeah, fuck you, big tech. Who needs you? It's not going to stop us. And again, I'd like to ask you guys to continue to keep those contributions coming. You're the reason for all this great stuff because it costs money. To contribute, just look for the contribute box on thecomicsgym.com or you can go to nickdip.com and click on the contact page. Again, thank you guys so much. guitar solo Oh, yeah, it's that time again. Final day of the week on a Thursday from the state of Georgia,

which is still red. We'll get to that in a minute. It never was blue. These line bucks. What's going on, folks? That's right. Final day of the week. Big week next week. I won't be here but Wednesday,

Thursday, Friday because I've got to make some money on the road and whatnot. This happens when you're multi-talented. Pause for the laugh that deserved. I got right about it deserved. Anyways, what else? I just like to bullshit up the front.

I got nothing to say. I'm empty inside like a chocolate Easter bunny. I'm fucking hollow. Caitlyn Jenner? I don't know what to make of this thing. And I mean thing, literally. Here's what bugs me about... Bruce, you gotta transition all the way. You're still Bruce Jenner in drag.

Your fucking hands are like... You got hands like Mark Bavaro. Fucking voices like mine. I mean, fucking take the extra... what is it, another $50? It just sounds like a man in a wig. Well, you know, Sean, I, you know, it's been tough, but this Gavin Newsom's a real cocksucker and a hypocrite, you know what I'm saying? But, you know, me and my girlfriend. I'm saying? But, you know, me and my girlfriends.

Huh? Anyways, uh, Caitlin, who I still like, by the way. I mean, I wouldn't fuck her. Well, I don't know. I'm married for 20 years. Might give it a shot after a couple of wine coolers. But it still has a dick, right? Does anybody know that? Hannity, why don't you drill down on these stories? Ah, look at that puss. Throwing your son looks like a fag to me. Caitlyn Jenner sits down with Hannity. California gubernatorial candidate Caitlyn Jenner sat down with her legs spread with Fox News' Sean Hannity on her bid, they're calling it her, I'm calling

him him, on his bid to unseat Democratic Governor Gavin Newsom in the upcoming recall. Jenna told Hannity on Wednesday that it was not an easy decision for him to enter the race, but now he's, you know, he talks about he's always been a fighter and that he'll take that spirit to the Golden State Capitol. We have some video of him saying that roll it and but went on to live a good life uh my father uh when he was 19. um in fact he's a friend welcome to my hangar this is actually my hangar i have pictures on the wall of my father over there

when he was 19. he's proud when world war i II was breaking out, he wanted to fight. And so he joined the 5th Ranger Battalion. Listen to this. Landed with the first boats on Omaha Beach. Malibu Beach. 364 guys in his division. All day. 60 came back alive. Jesus.

Can you imagine? Let me get in here. Shut up, Sean. The man is talking. He's buried at Arlington with all his buddies. came back alive cheeses on the magic let me let me get and just shot on the man is talking is buried orange with all his buddies and i thought to myself you know what don't be crying already we can fight this is what we have a lot of people if we can fight

somebody's got to stand up. In pumps. I'm not going up Omaha Beach. I'm going up in Sacramento. But we have to change things. I love this country. I'm a patriarch. You're going up an escalator at Macy's to the women's department.

A man goes to a party. Then he went on to explain, what else did he say? He was talking about Newsom being a hypocrite. But did I cut off the part about his grandfather being in the war, Matt? His grandfather was in a pile of dead bodies. I'll say it now. Maybe I cut it off.

I didn't give it to you. His grandfather was in a pile of dead bodies, you know, the dead pile, they thought, and they heard somebody making noise, and they pulled him out of the dead pile, and he went on to live a full fucking life. So the moral of the story is if you're in an orgy, you can't breathe. I don't know. That was horrible. I'm just saying. That is a fighter. I mean, okay. And then he talks about Newsom being a hypocrite.

Go ahead. What I see in Gavin Newsom is a politician up to special interests, makes his decision as a politician in special interests, and the hypocrisy that is going on right now. Put that giant hand down. It's like there's one set of rules for Sacramento, and there's another set of rules for everybody else. I mean, you've seen the video of him at the French Laundry, okay? I can't go down to my restaurant

and all the employees in that restaurant down there are not working, okay? And he's up there dining. We see Nancy Pelosi. I can't go to my hair salon. All the salons in my town are closed. Nobody can go in there. Nobody's working.

People are losing money. But she can sneak in. You can't because of the way you look. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. So I'm running. Anyways, on immigration, Jenner suggested she would push. I'm being nice now. The first half I said he, I'm doing both, suggest she would push to strip California's status as a sanctuary state and expressed her support for the wall, but stressed that California is still a compassionate state for those already in this country illegally.

I am for the wall. I would secure the wall, Jenna said. We can't have a state, we can't have a country without a secure wall. You have two questions, he said, or she said, or it said, or they said, or I said, your mother's tit said, your father's asshole said. You have two questions. One is stopping people from coming in to my bedroom, illegally into the state, And the second question is what to do with the people that are here. So what do you think? I don't know. I wonder if they've done any early polling. I'm guessing they did or he wouldn't go on TV. Unless he's showing off his nails. I don't. It's just funny seeing Hannity, who's such a straight-laced conservative dude.

And Hannity's like, you know, he's a regular guy. He played hockey in high school. And you know he's sitting there going, what the fuck? I would just love to hear the voices in his head going, Jesus Christ, this is where the Republicans are at? My goodness. But you know what? If I'm in California, I take Jenner over fucking Newsom. That's how much people hate Newsom.

We shall see how tolerant you people are in California. You're always pushing us to be tolerant. Let's see a fucking vote in a governor with a size 17 foot and lipstick. Let's move on. Oh, this is a story, and again, I'm going to say it one more time. How many times have we predicted that the truth will come out about the last presidential election last November? More cover-ups of voter fraud in Maricopa County.

Maricopa County officials have not fully complied with the state Senate's election audit subpoenas, a decision made to avoid causing a significant security risk to data utilized by numerous law enforcement agencies of the Maricopa County Attorney's Office said Monday. That's what they're saying for an excuse. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. Do you hear that bullshit answer?

Okay, the state Senate wants an audit. You're a piece of shit. Do you hear that bullshit answer? Okay. The state Senate wants an audit. And they go, ah, security reasons. And just, they are shitting their pants. They are fucking, like Trump's calling them on their bluff or whoever. I'm telling you, Sidney Powell's going to be the hero in the end. We had previously believed that the risk would be eliminated by redacting the law enforcement data on the routers and not producing it. But we were informed that the redaction did not eliminate the risk.

Deputy County Attorney Joseph LaRue, in a letter to Senate Audit, lays on Ken Bennett, wrote, We also, fucking liar, liar, liar, whore, liar, liar, liar, whore, whore, liar, liar. Look at this fucking jag off. We also learned that if criminal elements or others gained access to this data, it might be compromised. It might compromise county and federal law enforcement efforts and put the lives of law enforcement personnel at risk The letter from Lagoo Was prompted by Bennett's comments to KFI's James T. Harris on Monday that Maricopa County officials are not in compliance with subpoenas signed by Senate President Karen Fann and Senate Judiciary Chair Warren Peterson.

A judge ruled in February the legislative subpoenas are valid. The subpoenas resulted in several trucks full of Maricopa County's election equipment, records of nearly 2.1 million original ballots being delivered to Bennett at Veterans Memorial Coliseum for the audit, which started on April 23rd. LaRue's letter explains that county officials had planned to provide the Senate's audit team with virtual images of the requested routers. What does that even mean? Pictures on the internet? What would it lack? But I'm not yet sure it's possible to safely produce router information

related to the November 3rd, 2020 election without compromising security for criminal justice agencies. No, without compromising your job and your life, you fucking liars. Liar. Liar whore. And according to LaRue, providing those images at this time could also put citizens' confidential data at risk.

What are you tapping into the fucking computers at Target? And Social Security numbers and protected health information. Does anybody buy any of that shit? You can't handle the truth. God, help us. As a result, the county cannot at this time provide the virtual images of routers, LaRue wrote, without estimating when the requested routers may be handed over. I will follow up with you about this when I know more.

That's like, yeah, I'll give you a call later when you're talking to somebody you don't really like. Yeah, I'll see you next Tuesday. Jack off. So the county officials, you know, they're not hand... When the Senate audits you, I mean, I'm learning from this article, you know, a federal judge or state judge,

I don't care who, Judge Joe, who was it, Judy, ruled that they have to fucking hand over the shit. Oh, no, we might put people at risk. Do you ever stop your lying? It's all going to come out. When did I put on 20 pounds? Jesus. Christ.

I'm smoking. It's supposed to give you cancer and keep you slim. Shouldn't be doing this in here. It stinks. Look at him yelling at myself. Fuck him, I'm not his wife. Ah! Anyways, you know who's shitting their pants in a related story about this audit in Maricopa

County? The Biden administration shitting their pants. It might be Joe drank too much Ensure. Is that what they call it? About Maricopa audit, and here's how we know that. It's pretty clear the Democrats in their deep state will do anything to stop the ongoing 2020 election forensic audit in Maricopa County. They've tried using the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors, the Democrat Secretary of State, Katie Hobbs, their attorneys, and their nonprofits. Now, get this, they're bringing out their big guns.

The Republicans and onlookers who don't fully understand what's going on in Maricopa County, Arizona, this is fucking war, is what it is. Do you want to go to war? Come on. Do you want to go to war? understand what's going on in Maricopa County, Arizona. This is fucking war is what it is. Joe Biden supposedly won Maricopa County in the 2020 election by 40,000 votes. I got a goddamn campaign. 40,000 votes. Well, why is that funny, Nick? Here's why.

He was the first Democrat to win the county since Harry Truman. This miracle happened only a few weeks after Biden and his VP candidates together held an event. Listen to this. In the county, this is right before the election, where no one, no one showed up. And we're supposed to believe he won by four. You fucking people, and they keep saying this in the media, the big lie. You can flip your channels to MSNBC, ABC, CBS. They keep using the phrase the big lie. In other words, if they keep saying it, maybe it'll come true. I'm getting the impression that the Democrats haven't ever been right in this country. Ever, about anything. I really believe that.

I don't think you should have went into politics. You're not good at life, yet you're winning. So what's that say about the Republicans? It was a miracle, or maybe it was just fraud. I'll go with the latter. Ever since the final numbers were conjured up, there has been a defensive to prevent any legitimate audit of the results. Sure, there were a couple audit reports from a couple of auditors

that the Maricopa County Board of Supervisors claimed were legit, but most independent and objective observers said that this was not the case. Now here we are with an audit taking place of the results that includes a forensic review of all 2.1 million ballots recorded in this election and a review of six truckloads, six truckloads of voting machines used in the election. Oh, these are baseless. Six truckloads of voting machines used in the election. Oh, these are baseless, six truckloads. You know how many truckloads that is? That's six truckloads of machines. They're liars, they're cocksuckers.

My brother never got a dinner. And the Democrats are going fucking, they are shitting their pants right now. Watch out because I'm... Easy Pelosi. We know this by the entities inserting themselves into this audit. Last week, three of the Democrats' largest weapons

wrote a letter to the DOJ demanding they step in and stop the audit based on what participants in the audit claimed were lies. Now, let me predict the future for you, because I'm very prescient like that. The Dems are going to turn this around and go, they were fucking with those ballots. That audit was... They'll dig up, oh, this company, Trump once bought gum from this guy who was in, they'll just spin the motherfucker and say, you know, and the jerk-offs on the left will just swallow it because they want to be right. They don't care about the truth. They don't care about the future of the country. But that's the spin. It's coming. They're going to say that the audit

was fraud. The entities that signed the letter were the really big nonprofit guns. The conservative Treehouse wrote, here's the people that are getting involved. The audit started on April 23rd. A judge on April 28th rejected the attempt by Democrats to halt the process. The Brennan Center, Protect Democracy, and the Leadership Conference have signed a letter to the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice, excuse me, asking them to get involved. The arguments within the letter are identical. I got to call my friend Dershowitz tonight, ask him, can feds get involved in state election, you know, it was a federal election I understand. The arguments within the letter are identical to the arguments made previously by other law, law fair groups,

including Perkins Coy. That's that big law firm that Hillary used and everybody else. Anyways, the state, the state judge rejected the arguments because there was no evidence submitted to the court to back them up. So how'd that go for you? Protect democracy. Any time, what did I tell you about these groups? The names, the more patriotic they are, the more evil they are. Protect democracy by turning it into a Marxist. Protect democracy was the same entity that joined in a letter sent to the audit firms

conducting the audit and threatening legal action against them. The letter was also signed by Perkins Coie, the same firm that represented Hillary Thickankles Clinton and was involved in the origination of the Trump-Russia collusion, uh, scam. So. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? So they're on the up and up, the people that get involved, the deep state, you know, the Brennan Center has connections to George Soros through his funding. I should end the story there because that says everything. This guy wants to destroy this country. When is he going to? Look at him. He died 10 years ago. Nobody told him. The Brennan Center is a radical

activist legal organization that received over a million dollars in funding from progressive globalist billionaire Soros in 2018 alone. He just threw a million at him. That's like throwing 100 for him. The Leadership Conference is a coalition of more than 200 entities whose common purpose is equality, which sounds like code for communism, right? Am I right? Sure I am. That's faggot stuff. It is!

You want a call by its name? That's strictly for fags. Communism's for fags. Let's share the dick equally. The Leadership Conference founders came together in 1950 out of the belief that the fight for civil rights could not be won by one group alone, but needed to be waged in a coalition. Our members, which have grown from 30 civil and human rights organizations at our founding to more than 200 today, differ in size, scope, and in structure.

But they all have one thing in common, lying cocksuckers. But what transcends our differences and unites the Leadership Conference Coalition is our enduring common purpose, full equality for all. Who said that? They did.

Who the fuck said that? The Coalition for Handjobs in America. Who's a kind of a cop that sits with a co-cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Unbelievable. All these groups combined represent millions, if not billions, in funding over the years, connections to about every nonprofit

pushing for what is going on today in Washington and across the country. These are the far-left, anti-American big guns. The Democrats are bringing out all the weaponry they can to stop this audit. They don't want to see the results see the light of day. This is a real fucking war for them. And what, you don't think it's one

for Trump? He's free as a bird, man. He can probably do more damage out of office, I would think. Just get him off the goddamn golf course. Can you imagine they went to the Department of Justice? You think they're nervous? If there was nothing to hide, Biden would have come out on November 4th and said,

go ahead, here it is, go look at it. It's so obvious. Please, people who don't watch this show, can my friends who've watched the show tell your asshole friends? Either that or just poison them. I don't give a fuck. Biden, the banner of speech, I call it. The White House said Wednesday, President Joe jerk-off Biden supported social media companies banning more content considered untrustworthy. Wow, sounds like a real president, huh? Really, really support that First Amendment.

You go home and rent your saggy Great Dane balls in the tub, you old man. Considered he wants banned speech that's untrustworthy on their platforms. Does he really? Yes, he does. Oh, that dirty cogsucker. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki declined to say during the daily press briefing if Biden supported social media companies continuing to ban former President Trump from their platforms. But she did reiterate Biden's support for more censorship. Let's take a look at the young Conan O'Brien. Roll it. The president's view is that the major platforms have a responsibility related to the health and

safety of all Americans to stop amplifying untrustworthy content, disinformation and misinformation, especially related to COVID-19, vaccinations and elections. Really? You get that little red beaver right up there in front of you. I don't think it's crazy at all. That's not a good picture. She's much uglier than that. But did you hear the bullshit to protect people?

Why do you guys think you're the ones who decides what's misinformation and what's untrustworthy? You arrogant fucks, we're not falling for it anymore. Don't give me that smart-ass shit. Exactly, T. No, for nothing. This cunt's lying to us. During the 2020 presidential campaign, Biden enjoyed several attempts by social media companies to block, oh, he was for censorship, block damaging stories about him and his family from spreading online.

You remember that, Joe? You fucking hypocrite. You really are, you fucking old man. that social media companies were not honoring the First Amendment value of free speech, Jen Psaki pulled down her dirty panties and dropped a big wet dump right on the stage and kicked it into the press court. I'm having a ball. There's something about this camera and the way everything's set up. I feel like I'm doing a real show now. Anyway, Psaki suggested it did not apply to online information.

Why would it apply to online information? Of course it does! Oh my God, is she that stupid? Well, she's just defending the asshole. Uh-oh, retard alert! Retard alert! You know, First Amendment's only for like TV and radio and, you know, not the one that has 4 billion people on it. Well, look, she says, I think we are, of course, a believer in First Amendment rights.

See how they just contradict themselves after? Oh, somebody, somebody, somebody set up a softball league for the Democrats and have somebody go watch it that's a Republican that's crazy. What? Of course we're a believer in First Amendment rights, she said. I think what the decisions are that social media platforms need to make is how they address the disinformation, misinformation, especially related to life-threatening issues like COVID-19. You mean like they did

during the Russia hoax is that is that what you're saying how they addressed that by kicking Trump let me tell you something you empty-headed titless wonder like COVID-19 and vaccinations that continue to proliferate on their platform you see how they weasel out of them get away from the issue the question was do you support Trump still being banned? Get back to me with that. I'll meet you at fucking Arby's, you pig. Hey guys, I want to take a few minutes and introduce you to joinhoney.com. What they offer is great. I was on it this week, grabbed a few carry-on things before I leave for my tour dates next week. And I saved like, I don't know, 22 bucks.

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And get this, it's free. And just by getting it, you'll also be supporting this show. Get it for free at joinhoney.com slash nickdip. Thank you. At joinhoney.com slash nickdip. Thank you. Joinhoney.com slash nickdip, and we thank them for supporting the show. Let's stay on the best president ever. Even Jimmy Carter's going, this guy's old. Jimmy's still hanging in there. Can you imagine?

What a tough buzzard. I met him on the Tonight Show. He thought I was funny. He goes, I met him after the show. He shook his hand. He goes, why don't you send me the CD? And I go, no, I don't think your wife will like it. He started laughing.

Good guy. Horrible president. Sweet guy. President Biden appeared to go off the rails. Did you guys see this? Oh, my God. This is a beauty. Go off the rails with a heartfelt story about reaching 1.5 million miles on Amtrak and being personally congratulated by a conductor.

After it emerged, the Amtrak worker actually retired some 20 years before his story took place. I don't know if to feel bad for him or hate him or whatever. Only off by 20 years. Speaking at an event in Philly commemorating the 50th anniversary of Amtrak, who's yet to make a dollar, Philly commemorating the 50th anniversary of Amtrak, who's yet to make a dollar. Friday, Biden, an avid rail user who earned the name Amtrak Joe as a senator, launched into a touching tale about hitting the milestone in his fourth or fifth year as vice president as he traveled home. Let's take a listen to this tale. And you've got to need about a line of let's say two lines of coke to fucking stay up

When I became vice president One of the Capitol Hill newspapers estimated that I had taken More than seven thousand round trips in Amtrak over my career I think that's an exaggeration and I'm gonna rely on those so you're telling and that Mr. Weaver, remember? Hey, Weaver. One of them is a guy named Angelo Negri. Oh, Negri. And Angelo, there was an article,

I guess my fourth or fifth year as president, vice president, saying Biden travels 1,300,000 miles in Air Force One. And I used to, the Secret Service didn't like it, but I used to like to take the train home. My mom was sick and I'd try to come home. Tells a story like my wife. Get to the fucking point, whore.

Go ahead. Almost every weekend as vice president to see her. And I was getting on the train and Angelo Negri came up and he goes Joey baby and he grabbed my cheek started to squeeze it like he always did and I thought he was getting a shot I'm serious and I said no no he's a friend he said Joey what's the big deal a million two hundred thousand three hundred miles. Why are you fucking doing a stereotypical Italian? So John Legri said, what a big deal. You motherfucker.

Hey, who gots? You racist. Even though it doesn't bother me because I'm an adult. I'm not a Democrat. Go ahead. How many miles did you travel on Amtrak? I said, no, Ange, I don't know. And he gave me the calculation.

And he said, you travel 1,515,000 miles on Amtrak. So the fact is I probably take Ange's word before I took the word of what the article said. Yeah. That was longer than his acceptance speech. What a mama Luke. So there was a ton. They fact-checked it. You don't even have to.

You can sit at home and punch just on the timeline. He's like me. I don't blame him. As far as chronology goes, I don't know. I still don't know when I got married, when I first got... I just confuse every fucking... But, you know, this guy's the president of the United States, for the love of God. So they fact-checked him.

Are you interested in the real story? Oh, absolutely. Fox News noted that he entered the fourth year of his vice presidency around 2013, 20 years after Negri's obituary said he had retired from Amtrak in 1993 when Biden would have been in the Senate. Meanwhile, the president's mother, Catherine Eugenia Finnegan, died in 2010, years before his story allegedly took place. Now, I'm giving him the credit. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. It's his memory.

Nobody can be that blatant. Well, I don't know. Lying. Nobody can be that blatant. Well, I don't know. Lying. Anyways, the outlet also pointed out that Biden's office celebrated him reaching one million miles on Air Force Two in 2050. He got them all wrong. What are we doing? What's going on right now? It's called math. Sit down, learn. This sandwich make me a fucking sandwich! Not with that tone.

In our make me a sandwich segment tonight, oh, you watch The View? I do. I set my fucking DVR every night. It is some good, truthful, unbiased reporting. You know, Joy Behar,

she weighed in on F Facebook keeping Donald Trump off the platform. As usual, this piece of ass didn't disappoint when it came to the depths of her ignorance. And this is about as shocking as the Chauvin verdict. His joy giving her opinion on Facebook, keeping Trump. But I wonder which way she's going to go. But I think that he is too much of a danger to have such a big platform. Let him go on Fox. He needs to be marginalized and let him speak to the his the choir over there who appreciate him and agree with

everything he says he doesn't need to contaminate the airwaves all over the world with facebook you know i mean i think about uh you know if this was in 1940s in italy would we want mussolini on the radio no we would not bullshit you meant the numbers he'd get i'd love mussolini on the radio you fucking whore like you didn't agree with everything that Obama said you pig face like Obama didn't use Facebook

to lie to people I can go look up a clip of him going hey if you like your doctor you can finger pop your doctor remember that one horse tooth jackass ugh Stop your doctor. Remember that one? Horse tooth jackass? Ugh!

This is a bad habit I'm setting right here. I'm telling you, I'm quitting this weekend. Anyways, can you imagine having the gall to say that? And by the way, she was a stand-up comic, believe it or not. And, you know, so she has... She should have some DNA of a comic, and free speech is the most important thing.

You see how many times comedians are brought into this argument, whether it's Chappelle or Bill Maher or YouTube kicking me off or whatever. But just for her to say that, how do you not know? Anyways, Whoopi Goldberg, what a piece of ass. Oh, my God.

A beanbag chair with dreads. Oh my God. A beanbag chair with dreads. But I got a feeling, and I hate whoopies politics, I got a feeling I would like her if I met her. Because I would talk to her like the dumb fucking cunt that she is. And I think black people appreciate that type of honesty. I'd go, hey ugly, how many ice cream sandwiches you having this week? And she'd go,

get out of here, cracker. And then I'd pull off a weave. Let's get to it. This guy lays out perfectly to the useful idiot manager and Hitler youth working at Home Depot. He filmed, he went in there without a mask, and, you know, he just wanted to get the reaction. And he actually shops there. He's a serious home dealer. You'll see it in the videotape, what he tells you. But the mask police just went nuts. I can't believe there's that many idiots in this fucking country.

You know, it's not like we don't have evidence now. This so-called plague has been around for a year and a half. The Texas Rangers are packing their ballpark now for a month. Nobody's dying. Are you that ensconced in your own little liberal bubble that you don't even see the evidence? You see people walking by you without masks, and they're fucking fine. I'm sure you have some relatives or friends who don't wear them, or maybe you don't. You'd kick them out of your life because that's how you are. How the fuck can you still be wearing a goddamn mask when it's proven it's absolute horseshit? Tommy's going to go, put the ashtray up on the desk.

You keep bending over. It's not TV. Relax. Anyways, let's take a look at this guy going into Home Depot and schooling these robots. Conor McGregor. I don't want to wear a mask, but I'm not going to. No, no, I said unable. I didn't say I don't want to. I said I'm unable to wear a mask. I don't want to wear a mask, but I'm not. No, no, I said unable.

I didn't say I don't want to, I said I'm unable to wear a mask. So this is good. I'm going to send this to my attorney. Good morning, man. I'm going to send this to my attorney. And by the way, my half a million dollar account with my ten million dollar business, all the business is going to Lowe's. It's leaving Home Depot and it's going to Lowe's. I've been shopping with Home Depot and it's going to low. I've been shopping with Home Depot for six months. No issues. This is the only Home Depot I've had an issue with.

That's it. So I'm moving all that business over. I'm going to do business with them. I'm sorry to hear that. Because they're not psychopaths like you guys. Got it. Okay. Yeah, I can shop there and breathe fresh air. Okay. Got it. Because I'm unable to wear a mask and there's no issues. Got it. Sorry to hear unable to wear a mask, and there's no issues. Got it. Sorry to hear that, man. No, you're not. Pause. It's my favorite part.

This fucking glib little cocksucker manager. Yeah, okay. No, I got it. That's fine. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sitting home going, no, he isn't. And this guy goes, no, you're not. I fucking love when they call idiots on their bullshit

go ahead roll it my hero all right look if you're gonna make it we can simply call law enforcement pause pause see what pussies they are uh since you called me and i don't have an answer because you're confronting me of the truth i'm calling the cops i can't defend that you know my rules or regulation because you really just told me the truth about it but let's get the cops involved get the mask police you little fucking pussy I hope you're in the plywood section to your 96 counting penny nails your whore roll it that would be hilarious call them call the police breathing fresh air. Holy smokes. Look at you people. You're psychopaths. You guys

don't think you don't. God damn, is he right? You are correct, sir. Conor McGregor just trying to pick up some PBC pipe and being hassled at Home Depot. Now, Home Depot, the guy who founded it, I even see him on Fox all the time. He was like a fucking Republican, like most successful billionaires. So I don't know what's going on here. But that's what it is. The media, the pressure comes from social media, boycott Home Depot or whatever the fuck, and they cave. This guy had a half million dollar account, and he's taking it to Lowe's, and they should have cut to the manager at Lowe's jerking off behind the fake bricks or the toilets. Anyways, these people have to die.

Let's roll on, shall we, to one of my favorite states in the union you know i moved down to georgia because i've had enough of the uh liberal horseshit up in the northeast and um south carolina that fucking they're not gonna budge they're stuck in 1958 and i love it i'm gonna be looking at some property up there i went into a restaurant in in South Carolina on the way down here, right, off of 95. It had colored and white restrooms. It's a joke, everybody. Relax. Relax, two minorities that watch the show. South Carolina to bring back firing squads for executions. back firing squads for executions. Here you see South Carolina State Troopers executing one of the managers at Home Depot in Bluffton or whatever in Greenville.

Yeah, they're bringing back the fire. South Carolina is poised to bring back firing squads to its list of execution methods amid a shortage of drugs. That's the excuse they're using? Really? How much drugs does it take to kill a guy? What are you—70,000 people a year, Americans, die from fentanyl. Pretty sure you can get some hands on that shit. They're lying like Democrats now because there's a shortage apparently of drugs.

They had to shoot into the head of a murderer's cock to carry out lethal injections in an effort to resume capital punishment after a decade. So they're bringing back the firing squad. Personally, I love it Pop they killed Sonny on the causeway. Now you've had your drink. The State House voted 66 to 43 Wednesday on legislation that would allow death row inmates to choose between being shot or eating at McDonald's for another six months. No. Being shot or electrocuted if lethal injection drugs aren't available. Again, does it have to be specific drugs, really?

Can't you just let the guy go out on a nice high? Like morphine. Oh, God, is that good. Have you ever had that in the hospital? Oh, my God. I had a reaction to it. I'm dead serious. When I had one of my shoulder operations done, it was Christmas Eve.

When I came out of the thing, I was on morphine. They had a styrofoam candy cane over my bed, and I broke it over the nurse's head. I literally hit her on the head with it. It's supposed to be mellow. The state is one of nine that still use the electric chair and will become the fourth to use firing squads. Who are the other three? I love them. The state Senate approved the bill in March. After another routine vote in the House, the bill will head to the desk of Republican Governor Henry McMaster, who said he will sign it.

He said, we are one step closer to providing victims' families, loved ones with the justice enclosure. They are owed by law, he tweeted. Wednesday, after the vote, I will sign the legislation as soon as they get to my desk. Supporters say the bill will deliver justice to those convicted of violent crimes. I agree. Go out violently. Live by the gun, die by the gun. Opponents decried the death penalty because they lack pussies and balls. Opponents decried the death penalty because they cited the possibility of innocent people being

put to death. You fucking idiots. That's a possibility whether you're tickling them to death. Just for this, some innocent person might get shot. By the way, that's why these guys are being shot in the first place. Who gives a fuck? You know, as far as that innocent thing,

hey, I got a great idea for a movie that hasn't been done in Hollywood. How about a black guy that's rightly accused of a fucking crime? But what does that mean? An innocent guy might get killed yeah he might might get the electric chair he might uh how else do we people what are you talking about people guy people get life i say this about here's my theory on that if we fry one guy that's innocent to get the other 99 right just hope you're not that fucking guy. You know what I mean? Keep your nose clean. Don't get in trouble. Don't even have to worry about

it. Ooh, there's some logic for you. So they're afraid an innocent guy might get shot because, you know, the prison's filled with them. Stop! Thank you. There are several prisoners in line to be executed. Corrections officials said three of South Carolina's 37 death row inmates are out of appeals. But lawsuits against the new death penalty rules are also likely. Three inmates, all in Utah, have been killed by firing squads since the United States reinstated the death penalty in 1977.

19 inmates have died in the electric chair this century. 14 of them all at once. They brought in a couch from Lowe's. And what... Anyways. Bye-bye, dickhead. So, I don't know, South Carolina. You know, here's my take on the death penalty in general.

I don't like it. Not because I think it's unfair and all that horse shit. I think spending your whole life in prison being raped and shit is way worse than taking a dirt nap. You know what I mean? People who slaughter families, rape kids and shit. You really? No. Let them hang around for 80 years and think about it

and be stabbed and eat shit food and wake up at 6 a. You really? No. Let them hang around for 80 years and think about it and be stabbed and eat shit food and wake up at 6 a.m. Torture. I just described my house on a Sunday. Anyways. Hey guys, I want to thank you so much. We got a bunch of thank yous. Count these to give you an idea how the show

is growing. Again, you can contribute at thecomicsgym.com or you can sign up with a monthly subscription. You can do that at nickdip.com, patreon.com. These are the people that contribute on a daily base. Oh, I also, before I do that, before I wrap up the show, I want to remind you that I'll be on the road touring again next weekend in Cleveland, Baltimore, and Philly. You can get all those details at nickdip.com and click on the tour button. And most importantly, I got to thank all you guys who have contributed to the show monthly, or like I said, daily. I haven't read these for the past week. We've been getting new producers up to speed, so there are a bunch of names I haven't mentioned,

and I don't want to leave anybody out. One-time contributions, Andy Navin, Pennsylvania. Paul Sagnella, Connecticut. Dustin Lane, Canada. Stefan Taziori, Pennsylvania. David Moore, Florida. Kelly Hubbard, Canada. Stefan Taziori, Pennsylvania. David Moore, Florida. Kelly Hubbard, Michigan. Darren Paul DeGroza, New York.

David Hertz, California. Gregory Grant, Massachusetts. Francis Sweeney, New York. Sean Powell, Florida. Tom Sawyer, Florida. Jason Boothby, Maine, James Laverty, Pennsylvania, Scott Brown, Pennsylvania, Zachary Wise, California, James Klein, Pennsylvania, Judd McNeil, Idaho, Clint Patak, Virginia, or Paddock, Will Whaler, California, James Stevens, Louisiana, Julian Taylor, New Jersey, Stacey Reimschneider, Armed Forces Pacific, John Devoy, Massachusetts, Ryan the Gas Pipe Foster, Oregon, Jason Jensen, Texas, Kit Fortney, Michigan. Mark Irving, Florida.

Robert Curley, New York. Dane Littlefield, North Carolina. R. Vargas, California. Kelly Carlson, Washington. Tim Hersheet, Ohio. Lee Priest, Australia. Thank you for the big, another big one from him. Ron Raymond, New Jersey. Dominic Peluso, New York.

Jason Bistock, Pennsylvania. Tyler Moore, Ohio. Ken Jr., Headville, Washington. Craig Benedetti, Michigan. Tom Kukula, Michigan. Bobadil Perez, Texas. And new monthly supporters Wow The Bloated Chef, Georgia

Gary Wick, Minnesota Scott Brown, Maryland Lonumi Gojoni, Pennsylvania Demetrius Kaywell, Pennsylvania Ken Hedvell, Washington Vincent Primavera All right, folks That's enough

Before we go today And for the weekend Washington. Vincent Primavera. All right, folks, that's enough. Before we go today and for the weekend, I want to pay tribute to a guy four or five years ago. I don't remember. Three? That's it? Seems like 10. Three years ago, I was trying to do this from my house, and we needed a producer.

this from my house and we had, we needed a producer, we put an ad up on, I think it was Barely Legal or Blue Boy and Jason, our boy Jason, our producer showed up and I remember it, I go Jason, he didn't know much about this stuff and I remember said, I said don't you have a buddy that knows and he goes, I think this kid Ryan I know from college calls this kid Ryan who just got fired at a restaurant. So they step in. Jason has to learn the shit from the ground up, and he got us off the ground. And then we came down here, and he helped us out,

and then we brought on Raz, and then Raz's wife got a job and they left or whatever. So Jason, once again, was there for us. And he always is. Today's his last day. What I'm saying is

he's been a valuable cog in the wheel of this show since its inception in this form. Don't get me wrong. I was doing this by myself for five years before we even fucking

put the visual up. Jason, come on up here. I just, Jason got a job not far from here. What is it? Archdiocese? Archdiocese of Savannah. Archdiocese of Savannah, the official newspaper.

So you're going to be doing a lot of ass fucking articles. I'm kidding back there. I'm a Catholic. I practice. Get in here, stupid. Jesus Christ. See, this is why we're letting him go. He doesn't even know where the camera is.

Here's a couple of gifts for you. Here, take that. Remember, it's the Archdiocese. I think these will come in handy. What do you got there? Oh, it's a butt... There you go, it's a butt. There you go. It's a butt plug.

He's already got one. Here's another. I don't know what that is. What's that? It's a rape whistle. It's a rape whistle. By the way, this is my wife's idea. She's a pretty funny broad when she wants to be.

There you go. I don't even know what that is. A hockey puck? What is that? It says ring for backdoor romance. Oh, you ring the bell if you want it up the ass. Who doesn't have one of those in their bedroom, huh? I usually throw a tennis ball at them, so I went to it.

Anyways, Jason, pronounce your last name. Berkelbach. German. Berkelbach. And that's why we hired him. I go, these guys are great. They make fucking Mercedes. But we got the retarded one.

Anyways, Jason, buddy, seriously, thank you for all your help, man. And don't go too far, because these guys might get cancer or a nervous breakdown working with me. We'll have to bring you back. But how about a hand everybody for Jason? Come on. Almost the MVP. Am I done? You're done. I am done. That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. And again, thank you for all those contributions. We can't do this without you. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Tell your friends to go there.

And nickdip.com. Click tour dates. Cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, for a small fee, I will make a video on my phone. You go to cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person, and we will ruin his

week, month, or year, depending how funny I am. Or I'll say happy birthday to Auntie Carol or Uncle Bob. Congratulations on the transitioning. Anything. That is it. You guys think it. I will say it. You are very welcome.

We'll see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.