The Nick DiPaolo Show - California On Drone Alert | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1868

Episode Date: March 12, 2026

In today's episode, Nick talks about Iran's Drone Warfare, CNN Lies About Hegseth, An FLA Car Wash, A Testy Guy & His Car, Cockpit Chaos and Rosanna Arquette's N-Word Problem! The FULL SHOW is live streaming & FREE-ONLY on Rumble! Join our LIVE CHAT at 6pm ET every Mon-Thu or watch the FULL EPISODE anytime on demand after 7pm ET. Follow my Channel and get notified! https://rumble.com/c/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH - Grab some mugs, hats, hoodies, shirts, stickers etc… https://shop.nickdip.com/ PERSONAL VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal video from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo  or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy!  https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

That's me. How are you? Folks, welcome to the live lineup where you get this show, obviously. Lauder with Crowder. All these great shows for free. And if you want to watch them, ad free, sign up for Rumble Premium, whatever that is. So if you want to follow my channel, download the Rumble app and tell people about it. They won't like you very much. It'll be great. Today we'll be talking about Iran's drone warfare. That seems to be going well. They're going to aim at Sacramento. CNN lies about Pete Hegsef. And why does that say Florida car wash?

What's that? What story? Okay, yeah. It's about the axe, not the car. And a guy does something with his testicles that I haven't been in a few weeks. Roseanne Arquette has a problem with the N-word. I mean, come on. She work with Tarantino for Christ's sake.

And that's about it. We'll get to the rest of the shit. How are you doing, Dallas? 75 as always. Ready for St. Patty's Day. Are you really? I'm splitting town. That's right.

Dallas, it's like Hanukkah for Jews with Dallas with the... Whatever the fuck. And I was talking to people that work at Bommies. They're like, don't even, I go, I'm not. I'm going to be, I'm leaving Sunday, going somewhere. I don't know. Somewhere in Florida, St. Petersburg or somewhere for a few days. And then my, you guys don't give a fuck, but my brother in Naples and got a sister, everybody's.

I can't, it's Florida now. I can't, you know, just quietly sneak in and out there like, why don't you come visit? I don't like you. I'm going to fuck. That's a joke, everybody. You guys can laugh. That's why we got you here. Even if it sucks, makes the show much better.

We have an audience today, folks. Sean and Amber, got that right. Yes, they were hitchhiking on Route 16 out here, and Dallas picked him up. I'd you like to watch a media-up podcast. What's that? Kind of smells in here now. Oh, gee, I don't know what that means, but holy shit.

I hope you're not talking about me. Nice shot at like two weeks ago. Anyhow, what the hell did I do last night? Actually, the last two nights, I don't know, something's going on. I actually slept through the night with no drugs. So the wife bought me these pillows, you know, I don't dare ask her how much. You know, they support your neck, they give you a hand job, they shampoo you. So, but I don't know.

It hurts less and I'm going through, I've been like going this crazy insomnia for like, these people know. I'm talking to our new guests, okay? you guys relax but out for about a year straight let's put it that way and uh I'm not that type of person that goes you know I can get by in three hours sleep I could have 14 and I'm still a miserable fuck so you can imagine me on two a week like a wife's got a gun in her mouth um pillows make a difference though man oh they do especially if it's like an 18 year old chair lady you put her in a fucking oh right under a shit um yeah no i know i know i

And here's the ironic thing. You know, you know how the fucking women in their pillows. I have 68 pillows on our bed, on the guest bedroom. We snore, both of us a week, sort of take a break every once. Every once in a while, I mean like a year and a half. I haven't slept with her. But now it's a joke, honey, relax. But there's 98 fucking pillows that I throw on the floor, right?

And none of them fucking work. They're either like this. You know what I mean? they're an inch or they're like this? Like fucking my pillow, that jerk off. Selling that fucking pillow that you might as well put your head like on a fire hydrant, take a nap.

So yeah, so it's so funny. We have 45,000 pillows in the house and I have to order a special one. But yeah, look, we both have, I have moderate sleep after you, so that has something to do with it. That was keeping me awake for a while. But that's not it. I'm just waking up in middle of the night now. It takes me an hour and a half to get to sleep, even after two Advil

PM, which, you know, that usually knocks the shit out of me. So I don't know what's going on. It's in here. It's something internal. Something about that priest in fifth grade that's keeping me away. But, you know, so, I don't know. But last couple nights, not bad, I admit, and I didn't take any shit. No Advil PM, no Ambien, no fentanyl. So how do I look? aging at Markspey. Fucking, you know us kinnies, we get these dark circle. You all turn it to Michael

Collione at the age of 30. So, yeah, that you guys know. You're probably sick of hearing about it. Tough shit. You tuned in. What the hell else? Vacation. Yeah, thank you because you know damn well. I'll leave it out. So, yeah, this is my last show

told you probably even have a date on, you, Shamrock lover. What is it? Should you come back? It's going to be a... A week from this month. day we'll be coming. March 23rd. March 23rd. That's Dallas. If it's wrong, fucking call his house. March 20. Jesus, what's the day today? I don't even know. 12. Oh, that's 11 big ones with the wife. We might cut it up down a seven. We'll be killing

each other after four. Yeah, so the 23rd, folks. Mark that down on your calendar. In the meantime, do we run the best? We don't run the best up anymore. We don't do any of that. Oh yeah, because we're on Rumble. All right. So that's about all I got. Let's get to it, I guess. Another reason to leave California, like you don't have enough. Even Sean here bolted. Fucking born and bread. He goes, what the fuck? I don't speak Spanish. I'm out of him out of him. Maybe he does. I don't know. Iran could use drones to make a deadly strike on California at any time. Really? Even though they can't get out of their own way in their own fucking hometowns? I'm not exactly shit in my pants. Then again, I know you people out there, you vote like me, that you watch my show. Isn't a tiny party you want to see like Hollywood get blown up? I think Trump would too. I mean, they fucking treat them like shit.

You know, all of a sudden, Hagseth leads a little gap over West Hollywood. And you just find a bunch of fire smoke and gay work boots and hot pants and smoldering and no, we don't want that, folks, do we? Anyways Yeah so they were talking about sending a swarm of drones To hit California It's hard to like be threatened by this Beating bit taking sick It's like Stephen Hawking going

I'm gonna fuck you up And you're a black belt or something Anyways But the guy who's saying this says we're nowhere near ready For what could happen But again it's California so I don't know how you feel, but... Iranian forces have

the technology apparently since when? They're throwing rocks at our planes. The ability and the motivation to launch withering drone attacks on targets in Cal... Those drones though, everybody... I mean, you get your neighbors. I can work on these drugs.

According to Brett Velikovic, seen right there, probably doesn't get much ass in the Army, does he? Some of it, female. Look! A former U.S. Army intelligence and special operations soldier who spent years using drones to hunt and kill the leaders of ISIS and to look at his neighbors who were in their late teens. What? And killed the leaders of ISIS and other terrorist groups.

This guy knows his shit. He's been whacking people with drones for years. I told you, when we did the U.S. old tour thing, the drones were kind of new. And they, I go, can I get a picture in front of the, you know, the big ones? Unman, but the fucking kind of small plane. So I stand there and the fucking engine like cord or whatever you call it is open. And I go, do you guys want me to move? Because the technology is like behind me for everybody to see in the picture.

It didn't seem too bothered. I don't worry about it. All right. And I have a picture at home of me on stage in Afghanistan with a frigging a drone took it from up. How fucking cool is that? But it was cool until I found out the guy didn't like my comedy. He's trying to fucking whack me. The FBI's warning to local law enforcement, he said, shows how serious the threat is.

So, yeah, when the FBI is going, hey, watch out. The drone expert said that Iran doubtless has, in its possession, thousands of attack drones that can be controlled from thousands of miles away. Why haven't they been using them for other shit? what are they waiting for till they get decimated and can fly hundreds of miles before striking their targets these are long-range

one-way attack drones also known as homing pigeons here that are extremely capable and can be sent in swarms Velikovic said that drones could be launched by ships as the FBI won local law enforcement agencies that

that could be the case in California such launches could even be executed from unmanned drone ships. You don't even need a human anywhere near this, he said. This guy's an expert. You can launch these things over Starlink from a boat 1,000 miles away. Isn't Starlink Elon's thing?

Well, why wouldn't he shut that off? Not that I know how it works. Right? What's he? Is he trying to decide if he's still a Trump fan? Iran's connections with Mexico and nations in South America mean that drone attacks could also be launched from south of the border.

Yeah, try it, fucking Mexico. Please, give us a reason to turn that into a fucking, yeah, hockey rink or whatever. That would be weird, though, wouldn't it? I don't think that. Velikovic said Iran's strategy is to so fear. Well, thanks for connecting the dots. We really, with drone attacks, striking crowds of people are important infrastructure for maximum horror. Sporting events, hotel, as long as it's soccer, I don't.

I don't give a shit. Hotels, office buildings, government offices, and military bases are also possible targets. Anti-drone tactics, you know what they include? Missiles to knock unmanned aircraft from the sky. Jammers to disrupt the control and navigation and lasers to blind them and to remove hair from their women. And fry the circuitry. There's no one single solution against drone attack, said Bello. You have like literally guys with machine guns trying to Trying to shoot him down.

Is that right? Yeah, well, there was a guy whose neighbor didn't like a sign he had in his yard. So this, his neighbor was kind of harassing him with a drone. So this is out the middle of nowhere. I don't know what it was, but I'm just saying this is what I picture our soldiers doing. Check this guy. A homeowner runs out his front door with a shot. shotgun. The drone flies away with the guy in hot pursuit. His friend is recording cell phone

video of the wild chase. Now watch as the homeowner goes around his house, spots the drone again, and takes aim, and fires. See it fall? You can actually see it fall. Here's what the drones camera sees. It's a bull's eye. This guy's pretty good shot. Holy Christ. What's funny? A people of, remember, it was it a Monday night game? There was a drone flying around? one of the NFL games and that's where all it would take you know what I mean if they say what they

they have what they say they have I don't know what they're going to hit us with new recipe for hummus and I don't have this as a story but the Muller's son that took over you know the number two son who nobody wanted to be the Ayatollah whatever fuck some reason he has a broken ankle

and a black eye today from what nobody likes him to go fight back That's what I was going to say. It's something like that. Fucking goat got sassy with him. Anyways.

Yeah, so nobody likes that guy. I don't know how he, you know. Even, I told you this yesterday, the Ayatollah, who he whacked, he had in his will that this son does not become supreme leader. It's in his way. Man, nice relationship. He was probably laughing when his dad got smoked. Fuck him. Folks, if you want to support this show,

go to nickdip.com, and we have a merchandise page. We get hats, hoodies, t-shirts, IUDs, plastic hips, wheelchairs, everything with my name on it. Really good shit. No, it is. It's actually good shit. I know a good t-shirt.

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Shoutout.us. And yeah, click on the profile and, you know, that's all there is told. It's pretty good. Let's move on to the POTUS talks drones. President Donald Trump said Wednesday, this is related to the first story, that reports of a potential Iranian revenge plot involving drones launched from offshore targeting California are being investigated

speaking to reporters in an Air Force One underwing gaggle. What the fuck is that? Sean, are you in the military? I thought he was. I don't even know the relationship here with you. Well, how do you know Sean, Dallas? We film a bunch of shit together. All the shows that

We see like a surviving man. Oh, all right. I was going to say. It was either that, because you only know like eight people. It was either that or an army buddy or some shit. Speaking to reporters, the stuff's good, by the way. You guys, it's good. I hope it works out for you.

Speaking to reporters in Air Force One under, underwing gaggle. That's my screen name when I'm trying to pick up the kids. Trump was asked by Fox News. White House correspondent Peter Deucey about a law enforcement bulletin warning of a possible Iranian drone attack scenario. And Trump said, it's being investigated. Got a lot of rapids. Trump said, you have a lot of things happening.

And all we can do is take them as they come. Trump also said he had been briefed about potential Iranian sleeper. That's what keeps, I mean, the frigging FBI, the head of the FBI, not even him, who was it, CIA? I don't even remember. 20 years ago was going, the one thing that keeps me up at night is sleeper cells. And that's before shithead Biden opened the gates to the fucking third world, briefed about potential Iranian sleeper cells inside the United States, claiming authorities are monitoring them closely.

Are you? You might want to knock on the door and tell them to get the, what are we waiting for? We know there's a couple at the gap in the mall. We know where most of them are, Trump said. we got our eyes on all of them. Keep your friends close, but your enemy's closer. It's a good point, Michael. The president argued some entered the country

during the Biden administration's immigration. Some of them. The last number I saw, and I'm not making this up, it said 18,000. That was in writing. It wasn't a writer being sarcastic. 18,000, you got your eyes on all of them? He then gave us.

an overall assessment about how the war effort was going in general. Go ahead, Mr. Trump. They are, they've lost their Navy, they've lost their Air Force, they have no anti-aircraft apparatus at all, they have no radar, their leaders are gone, and we could do a lot worse. We're leaving certain things that if we take them out or we could take them out by this afternoon, in fact, within an hour, they literally would never be able to build that country back. A new report shows. A new report says. Now, listen, what the stupid, broad, liberal douche, I don't know what network has to ask about. That the military investigation has found that the United States struck the school in Iran.

That the United States actually hit a school in Iran with a bomb or whatever the fuck. Go ahead. Chief, you take responsibility for that. That is what? As Commander Chief, do you use for the strike on the school in Iran, a new report says the military investigation has found it was the United States that struck the school. I don't know. That's a good answer.

I think he does know about it, but it's war, man. Sorry, shit happens. It's horrible. But we're the only country that their own people put that type of stuff. standards on. You killed somebody accidentally. Yeah, it's a fucking war. People get hurt and die. Sometimes children. Of course, she had that right on the tip of her fucking tongue, that question. He just mentioned how well it's going and she has to pull it back to CNN mentality. And, you know, and he pulled Frankie Five Angels. I hate to keep doing Godfather reference.

I don't know anything about that. Are you saying you not anything about that? His father and my father had a real estate business. Anything else, Mr. Trump? Are you talking to the CEOs of various oil companies, encouraging them to use this straight-up forfeiting? I think they should. I think they should use this.

I think they should. Look, we took out just about all of their mineships in one night. We're up to vote number 60. I didn't realize that that big a name. I would say it was big and ineffective. But every one of their ships, just about all of their Navy is gone. Big and ineffective. That's what I heard of my honeymoon.

You know. That one's going on the books, Dallas. That might be the one. I love his fucking press secretary. She don't look like he's from New Hampshire. I'll tell you that. Go ahead. Anything else?

How do you have made any minds in this straight-up? We don't think so. Pause. All right, that's enough. That's enough. But this morning, that was like the top headline. Some ships got hit in the straight of when something was on fire. That the Iranians hit it, I guess, with what?

I have no idea. But, you know, we shall see. So, yeah, but I just love how they have to go right back to the school thing. Probably happened three seconds ago. They, and again, yeah, it's horrible. but then you're like, do you realize I ran the Ayatollah a couple weeks ago killed 30 to 40,000

innocent protesters? You never brought that up once to Trump. You think that you fucking, you know, this guy took a bullet in the face for us. He's almost been whacked three times and they still hang on his every word like he's a liar and a fuck. This makes me sick.

Anyhow, let's move on to food. Surf and turf, baby. This is related to, the story, sort of because it's the military. You guys remember Paul Begala? He was a big player with the fucking Clinton administration and maybe Obama.

But I know Clinton. He was always on TV and just a real ignorant ass. Well, he's on CNN, so. But he was a politician under Clinton, I do believe. Look at him. Fucking looks retarded. My tie look good. CNN's Paul Begale

falsely claims that Pete Hegseth purchased ribby steaks and lobster tails for himself, not the troops. I can't even CNN is at a not even a high school level audiovisual class.

I can't even they're like fucking fifth grade. Do you check anything before you go on the air? Yeah, so he's on there. And you know, Scott Jennings is like the token Republican on CNN, who takes on eight of them at once. That's what's so funny, and he's still there, so he must be

doing a good job. And so Begall was trying to say that that's ordered all this lobster and all this shit for himself and steaks. And Scott Jennings is like, you're fucking nuts. Check it out. He has spent $15 million in one month for

ribby steaks, $6.9 million for lobster tail, $225 million for for furniture he spent more in the month of September than most countries on earth spend in their defense all do you believe all He or himself lobster tails you believe our troops are not a no no no no Lobster tails do you believe the Secretary of Defense is personally eating all the lobster Well he can't eat six troops oh lot oh really the troops are getting lobst frequently Brother's defect has steak and lobster I was this thing I'm all right damn you're decent

I was I'm ready for war I'm ready for war. Oh, my God. Troops who are going to war. Oh, my God. You know that. That's getting a lobster.

You are so full of this. You are so full of this. You're going to get killed over this. Internet, do something. I might have to double it. I had to run it back. I had to run it back. Did they run that clip on the show?

Doubtful. Doubtful. Because he's still arguing. Although that never stopped the fucking Libya. But I can attest that when I was deployed. I know. When I was in a lot of the isolated areas, we ate MREs. But any time we went to the major flag poles, which were the bigger bases,

every Friday was surf and turf. And we got steak and lobster. I don't know that I want to eat lobster and I'm in Afghanistan. It wasn't fresh coffee. I was going to say, no guy in hip boots walking into the barracks. What a fucking, oh my God. But yeah, he's a fucking piece of shit because it is accurate. Right.

So this is what I want to see. Okay, so that exchange went down. I want to see the next day, that same guy on the show with that guy, and them running that, and going, now answer the people at home. Why you're a lying, cocksucker. Go ahead, we'll give you 10 seconds. You know what I mean? What the fuck?

I've had the MRI. They threw us those one day over there. I had a real. Gotta chew the gum. Yeah. Fucking dislocated my jaw. Well, there's a diuretic in the gum that helps you pass the MRI. Oh, really?

They didn't give us no gum. I passed it on my own. I went through me like a fuck day. After I ate it, I said to the guy that was in charge of Sarge and I go, do I get a fucking purple cross for this? Surviving this? Whatever the fuck. Sorry, Sarge. Just a joke.

Unbelievable. And CNN's still on the air. That's how you know, and I've said this a million times, you people at home, I know you're probably sick of hearing it. But when you continue to put lies out year after year, that's been going on since I I was 25 CNN just lying through it. When you do that and you've lost your whole fucking audience, he's about 11 people watching,

and it still stays on the air. That means money doesn't mean anything. The bottom line, that means it's propaganda. The message is more important than making a profit. And CNN makes a killer profit on the internet with their website. Not as far as the TV news, but as far as clicks, they've been killing it for years. that's still the truth, but lying on national TV.

It's just, you know, you know journalism now? People like that jerk off, but Gala will go online and he'll go to a gun, I don't know, salon.com and see a story that some fat fuck laying on his bed in his mother's house, he's 40 years old, saw from another website or a podcast, he'll put it on X, and that jerk off will broadcast it like it's real mood. That's how it works now. It's insane. Nobody checks. Nobody bets anything. So, uh, Bagala, nice going. I just had a flashback to a dream I had last night.

Fucking weird is that? I must have been sleeping pretty good. I don't know, Dallas, but I was leaving your house at three in the morning. And no, listen to this. I don't even know if you're going to appreciate it. You guys might be too young to remember Vinnie Pazienza, the fighter from Rhode Island. He was a fucking like middleweight champ. crazy Italian guy from Rhode Island Remember I used to sell steak and seafood

Door to door? I told you my first job out of college. I knocked on a door and this older Italian woman bought some shit and she took out a credit card and said Pazienza and I go I go are you related to V? That's my son

or my grandson I think she said yeah he's fucking he was crazy so he broke his neck in a, was it a car accident? I think it was a car accident. They show him. He was supposed to be in the hospital for like they said, I don't know, six months

or some shit. He gets out of the hospital early like half that time and he's in the gym. He's got a neck thing on and he's trying to do fucking lack. He would sell tickets like crazy because he was a brawler but a little better than a brawler. He loved to brawl but he could actually fight too.

They made a movie about him. But anyways, I'm doing a show in Rhode Island, he comes to my show and starts talking me afterwards. And, you know, we talked for about 10 minutes. He wanted to fight Joe List, my opener, who's a guy with glasses and a nerdy

I left the club before Joe did. He told me the next day, I'm going to shit my pants laughing. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Yeah, exactly. That would have been perfect. I never laughed so hard. Joe List, he's a meek guy.

He's pretty famous now. He's doing good. glasses and he told me yeah I have the pads out and went this one Joe is still drinking so I don't know but that made me laugh so last night I was dreaming that I was with him and my father hitchhiking somewhere my fucking dreams never make any

there's never a linear they make no fucking sense ever you ever have I don't have no do you guys do you have normal dreams a lot of people go yeah I was on vacation with my wife and mine's always like You know, I was playing for the Red Sox, and then I got shot by a hooty. He was sitting in the monster seats.

Never fucking makes any sense. That's what it was. We were trying to get home. Once again, that's always my dreams. Shrink would have a field day with that. Anyways, Pazzianza. So, yeah, I meet him for about 10 minutes. He asked for my number, so I'd give it to him because I didn't want to get fucking knocked out.

And then, like, he would call me. I'm asleep on the East Coast. He's in Vegas. My phone would ring it like three in the morning. Yeah, hello. Nick, fucking Vinny. Yeah, I'm at a craps table at the Belagio with three hookers. And then there'd be a bunch of noise that it would hang up.

He was fucking, and he would, Google him sometime. You want to see exciting fights? No matter who he was, he always sort of fought. He actually, like I said, he won the belt. So he wasn't a, he wasn't a hack by any means. But it seemed like he'd fight down to the level of his competition. He could be, you know, fighting an old lady. It'll be a good fight.

That's why he sold tickets. People like, this guy's so exciting. All right, let's move on, since I digress for 20 minutes. No, no, no! In our FLA segment tonight, an axe-wielding Florida man allegedly stormed towards two teen brothers crossing an Ocala Car Wash Sunday night.

This is Florida. This is my Florida. Before being quickly overpowered by the older brother, an 18-year-old MMA-trained military. Terry recruit. Last guy you want to fuck with. That makes me laugh that this guy has no idea. He's got an act and he's going to be a big tough guy. A video released by the Marion County Sheriff's Office allegedly showed the suspect later identified as Bryce Thayer, 36 years old. So he's got a lot going in his life. It's fucking two in the morning. He's got an axe at a fucking car wash in the middle of him.

Anyways, Thayer approaching car wash workers, Leodon Pino, 18 years old, and his 16-year-old brother, as they were closing for the night because they're hard-working dudes. Officials said when Thayer was told to leave the property, he became irate. Why? You don't have a car to get washed. What are you doing there? You're going to rinse off your axe handle? What the fuck? He got irate and approached the brothers and a threatening man. while wielding an axe. And this is why, well, I'm 64, so I keep my mouth shut,

no matter where I am now. But this is why, if you're in a bar and shit, you want to think twice. You better get a few lessons under your belt because everybody knows this shit. He's like 22-year-old girls that have a third-degree black belts. But watch what this kid, 18 years old, MMA military guy, does to Captain Axe here.

There's no audio. But keep an eye. The guy with a backpack On the asshole, who would have guessed? Watch this. He's going to ground and pound him. What's the idea? What?

Watch this. He's going to start elbowing him. This is where he busts his face. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Those are fucking. He's elbowing his face.

I was locking up all the doors and I heard someone scream. There he is. Here's the guy. His nose used to be in the middle. Holy shit. And look at him. He looks like a...

a fucking suburban jerk off. I was locking up all the doors and I heard someone screaming, someone yelling something, Pino told the TV station. He's obviously not in the right state of mind. He walks up to the tunnel and that's when I tell him, you have to leave, man.

You got to leave. Pino said that is when Thayer allegedly pulled out an axe that was clipped to his backpack. This country's insane. We laugh at other countries and they are, you know, but you laugh at Brazil and the violence that goes on

But holy fuck, they can't have much on us. An axe that was clipped to his backpack. Can I just say this? If you're over 14 and you have a back, you ain't going to a backpack. All right. Forget it. Was clipped to his backpack and pointed at him.

Footage showed Pino, lunging at Thayer as his younger brother yanked the axe away from him. Once he lowered the axe, that's when I shot to take the... This guy's talking like he's being interviewed by Rogan right after the fight. and I got on top of them and I control the situation I guess the fuck

they call that ground and pound if you guys like the UFC who was trained in mixed martial arts once I realized he wasn't letting go that's when I threw a couple of elbows until he was incompetent wow he put that beautifully didn't he until he was incapacitated

I got him to his back put him in a body triangle that's the one that kills me the body triangle My wife actually did that to me, kidding around. She's got unbelievably, they're skinny legs, but they're scary strong. She got that white trash strength. You know what I mean? Ever see like a white trash guy with no shirt on?

He's got zero body fat, but he's like ripped from eating like Cheetos and fucking cherry Coke. And my wife got me in one of those? Her legs are on my way. I couldn't fucking breathe. What would a guy do to me? Jesus, probably rape me. Oh, my. I got him to his back, put him in a body triangle, held a rare naked choke.

This guy pulled out all his fucking chujitsu shit. A rare naked choke on him and waited until the cops got there. I think it worked beautifully. Holy shit, he doesn't want to stop. Yeah, so be careful out there. When I had a radio show in New York City, I was doing a story about a guy in Long Island who ran like a bodega or was working at, I don't know, 7, or whatever. some fucking asshole comes in

with a gun, not a knife, with a gun, and tries to hold them up. And the guy was a martial arts dude. And the minute the guy took his eye off, you know, off him for a second, he fucking gets the gun and pounds the shit out of him.

It was all over the New York papers and shit. Isn't that great? You're like, no, if he died, it would have been great. We love stories like that. That's much more exciting. Then the New York Post and come up of the cute headline. You guys know my favorite

headline in New York. They're known for their funny headlines in New York Post. This is the best one. It was in the 70s, or maybe 80s. And this was the headline. Headless man found in topless bar. That was an actual headline. It still reigns champion. They vote on it

every year. You know, you like vote on music. It's always stairway to heaven. Headless man found a topless bar. And the other one that came in like second or third when John Goddy was on the stand. He wasn't on the stand. He was on trial for beating up a guy in the streets and the guy on the street said

he was going to testify against Goddy. And then when he got up on the stand, they asked him, he goes, I don't even know who this guy is. I don't even know what you're talking about. And then the headline next day was I for Goddy. Anyways, let's move on. This guy's a little testy is the headline. Another kickboxer.

See what I'm saying? They're everywhere. In Britain pulled a car with just his testicles. Let me repeat that. Pulled a car with just his testicles in an attempt to raise awareness about men's mental health. Not his own.

Not his own mental health, which is what he did. He raised awareness about his own mental, I think. He's saying he's doing it for other guys. He just likes how it feels. John Stevenson 50 pulled a 45, 500 pound car about 150 feet

using nothing but his own nut sack balls on this prick let's take it let's go to the videotape I don't know if it's his wife watching that's what's funny too there's a lady watching

oh come on done my nuts are come on done is this the stupidest thing you've ever seen the fuck just go on Fear Factor or whatever when I finished listen to this this is him talking I can't do the accent

When I finished my plums were bright purple. Hey, who would have guessed? What the fuck you think they were going to be? He's got nuts like a great day now. But I'm still firing it all selling, as he said. Not a pair. Stevenson showed his sense of humor again by munching on a bag of nuts. I want you a card.

Isn't that hilarious nuts he was eating? I know, exactly. Should have been munching on a hot dog. That would have been funny. Bag of nuts as he pulled off this stunt. Yorkshire Live. It's a great station. reports that Stevenson is the first Britain

to ever pull a vehicle with his ball. I thought, didn't the queen do it? Queen Anne or some, Margaret Thatcher. Which is not surprising. He says, I want to use this to encourage people to look after them. No, you don't, you fucking idiot. You're a man child who wants to get noticed on the internet. Like everybody else in the fucking world.

You want to be famous regardless of what it is. Me and Dallas always talk about, We should make a segment out of it. There's always these hut broads all over the country. You know, they're like 20 or whatever. And if they're over a six or a seven, they think they're a 19. But they'll do anything as an excuse to be on the internet. We're watching some girl like in a bikini fucking seal or a driveway, you know.

Okay. Anyways, don't be afraid to pick up the phone, he says. Now he's like Dr. Phil. Pick up the phone and ask for help if you think you need it. Well, you better pick up the phone, dude. Get that rental back before you, you, A lot of men don't, and they feel like they've got to... Got an ego to maintain.

I'd rather than ego than a mental illness. Stevenson tied a scarf around his testicles. Hey, who hasn't? And tied a rope to make the connection between him and the car. What if it's one of the talking cars? Fagget! Bag it! They don't talk and let their problems get the better of them.

Oh, listen to this fucking Phil Donnie you want to be. Fucking faggot. I always say that men who talk can heal. Do you say that? How about the ones that are deaf and mutes? They get a cut and they bleed to death? You know what I say to men who talk? Who's with me? Anybody?

All right. Let's move on to the airways. You know, it's not a week of shows that we don't do an airplane or an airport story, which to me, I'm kicking around an idea for books. You guys don't only been talking about over seven years, so probably it's not going to happen. But one of them was going to be, one of the premises of the book

would all take place in an airport. Because I say this, you've heard me say it, it's a microcosm of our society. It's all there. It's loudmouth assholes. It's brand-new babies. Stinky Arabs. I see you're a frequent flyer in spirit.

Yeah, all that shit. You know, people who don't speak English. You got the, you know, the Black brothers getting on in their fucking, you know, Knicks, Jersey, white socks and sandals. Look, I appreciate casual dress, but come on. What the fuck? You got all that shit. You got people stinking up the bathroom.

Right? And you could die on takeoff and all that shit. And you get that girl that throws a punch at you because you won't stop talking to when you have to move, you see. Didn't that happen me now? Huh? She was 60. Oh, she was 60. I don't give it back.

So's what's her name? Who's that broad? They keep saying that's hot. She's 110. She's an actress, English. She actually beautiful for an old lady. Helen Mirren. Thank you.

I've asked Dallas 141 questions. That's the third one he's got. Bingo. If it's about pussy or beer. Bang. It's like he's a fucking jeopardy champion. Cockpit Chaos is the headline. A sleazy British Airways pilot is a

of secretly filming sexual encounters he had with at least 16 women, including staffers from other carriers, and posting the footage online without their consent. Well, you don't have to do that. That's where you went too far. Here's my defense, if I'm his lawyer, and I'm not shitting you, because I brought this up on Red Eye about 15 years ago when I was on with Gutfeld, and guys were getting accused of rape and shit,

and they ended up being innocent shit, but I said, you know, this is a perfect excuse to film, to sex. Am I not right? Gutfeld's like, that's a great... I go, I'm not retarded. Why he's so surprised? Fuck, it's a good idea. That would be my defense. He's done it because girls have then you have to lie a little bit.

On the oath. The 31-year-old airman was arrested. I don't want to see myself having sex. Even when I was in my 20s. I just, you know, you watch porn, the fucking lighting's great. You know what I mean? You eat like two pounds of celery so

you can come a gallon. All the good shit. Who's with me? People who shut off the show. The 31-year-old airman was arrested by U.K. authorities last week after receiving reports he covertly. What a scumbach. Guys really, you know, I don't say this much because I'm usually shitting on women if they're German and they ask. No. Only you get that reference.

You'll scatter. Germans are known for their poop sex. You guys know my age. They love that scat shit. Anyways, what was I saying to Ellis before I fucking lost my mind? Shitting on guys. Oh, shitting on guys. Is that what I say?

Anyways, receiving reports he covertly recorded. Yeah, I was just saying that we are really scumbags. It's, you know, there's guys with fucking phones at a CVS, some lady shopping, and they're like kind of in their tie in their shoe and the shoe. Sean's looking at me like, what's your problem with that? It's just a little hobby on the side. It's like birdwatching. heard watching. Excuse me, I have cancer.

Covertly recorded his hotel romps with stewardesses and other women he pursued around the globe before uploading the X-rated videos to his wrong. Why are you doing that? And like I said, I didn't, the porn they shoot the lights and, you know, most guys have 14-inch dicks. What are you

doing? But who knows? Who knows? This guy. He was banging 16 of them. Somebody likes him for something. And you know what? The girl should have known because when they came on the plane, he's like, here, I get some wings. You know, they give the little kids the wings.

And that's enough to melt them. I was being recorded during sexual encounters without my consent, one woman alleged, clamming she was preyed upon by the unidentified pilot between 2023 and 2025. So I didn't realize until another woman in the same position mentioned it to me. me. He would position his laptop with music on, hey, I'm talking. You guys have no idea how I got that sound. In front of us during sexual encounters. Now footage has gone out online and it has emerged. He was doing this to 15 other women. And that's why she's really pissed.

That's what it is. I wasn't the only one. He said I was it for him. That's why she's pissed. So they questioned What do you have to say, Mr. Pilot? That you've been doing this to multiple women And he said, Fuck you! And fuck you! Who's next? One woman alleged she discovered

several videos of the Tris on the man's laptop. Do you hear what he did? He faced the laptop and he put a piece of tape over the That's coming up, I guess. So you couldn't see the light recording. And he said, I'm going to play music on my... I don't play music, do you?

Yeah, it's distracting. It's distracting. You know, I get Ted Nugent on him. I'm thinking about Ted Nugent. Not my fucking wife. I'm like, how'd he come up with that riff? Is that an A minor? What the wife's like, hey, I'm over here.

On the man's laptop clamming, he had taped over the camera's recording light, he put a little piece of tape on it. I do that when I'm jerking off. Listen, here's a clip of him with a chick in the cockpit. Check this out. Ah. That's perfect. She saw different girls, different rooms, different rooms.

different, everything. I couldn't believe I wasn't the only one. Look at me, I'm a piece of ass, she said. No. Anyway, she saw people wearing different uniforms. It's called diversity. Or inclusiveness. You know, what are you just going to...

You know, who's the fucking help me out here? You guys, from... Dallas, who's the airline? And they're always at the hotel when I go to Dallas. It might be Malaysian airlines. They all wear these, like, maroon suits with a little cute hat. Have I seen them? Might be Qatari. It might be Qatar.

and they're also they look sort of Asian most of them no it's probably in Malaysia probably yeah so but it unbelievable and they don't I see they have higher standards than American remember remember I said on stage one I go look I fly a lot I go I know every flight attendant

can't look like a 20 year old Pam Anderson but do they have to look like a 58 year old Louis Anderson I mean well I remember going on the road with you or in the air with you And we'd go down the Delta gateway. Yeah. And every poster alone was anything but a straight white dude. Yeah.

Oh, exactly. Yeah, Delta hated white men, straight white men. The first poster is like an Asian woman with a lab coat on looking through a microscope. I don't know what that got to do with fucking Delta. Right? Next thing's an Indian woman nursing a fucking, you know, a cat back to health. Then there's a black guy sitting on his bed reading his like eight-year-old daughter. I'm sure that happened once.

And they get to the last post. It's two white guys. What are they doing? They're spooning watching Netflix. Suck my dick, Delta. That should be you. Anyway, she saw people wearing different uniforms. She saw women in uniforms.

Oh, my God, ironically, in Virgin Atlantic. She's targeting other women for different airline. The victim's age from 24 to 36. I want to see the guy. Is there a picture? I could have Googled. Reported the pilot to the Metropolitan Police, which launched an investigation

and took the alleged creep into custody on March 5th. On suspicion of voyeur, do you see how ill men are when it comes to, they will fucking ruin their lives. The Michigan head coach, the black dude at Michigan. He's married, to a white broad, a good-looking white broad, he's got a beautiful family.

He's getting a couple million dollars and more than that. a year to coach football and he throws it away to bang his staffer. It really is. And you guys have heard me say it. My dad died of Alzheimer's, right? This, I learned so much from this. The last thing to go on his mind, he didn't even recognize me at this point, right? I'm there in the room with him. My mother's in the room. This young nurse comes in and does something, whatever, and then she leaves. My father looks at my mother and goes, nice, huh? Not realizing my mother was my mother.

My mother just looks at me and goes, I go, mom, we're wired that way. You understand? That's like, that part, the pussy lobe is still working. Everything else is melted down and this fucking is still looking at ass. What, it? And girls go, we're no different than you. Oh, really?

Who are the rape laws there to protect? You know what I mean? Let's take a male prison, by the way. What happens in a male? prison. You put a bunch of guys in a prison for long. They start fucking each other. That doesn't happen in a girl's prison. Maybe a little bit, but not like, you know. He was released on bail as inquiries continue, and he should be in trouble.

The airline has since grounded the alleged sick. Okay, sicko. Let's not go too far. Psycho would be better. Also, who's more crazy? This guy or the guy pulling a car with his nuts? Also accused of a cocaine use. Holy shit. that explains the landing yeah well done sir well played we'd land then we took off and we'd landed we took off this guy was a party that's all uh welcome ladies and gentlemen this is your captain keith richards alongside me is Anthony Kedis from the chili red peppers. Anyway, so, uh, he, uh,

choose the cocaine use. They go together. It's like peanut butter and the outcome of it. So, enough. Guy's having a good time now. He's in deep shit. I wonder if he'll get hired again, but something like that. It's not as bad as that like the fucking pilot that decided to commit suicide and take everybody with them.

Remember that plane? He just kept flying. Remember? Just went away. I don't know if they ever found it. Nice, huh? All right. Let's move on, shall we? In our Libs Eat and Libs segment tonight, Rosanna Arquette, 66. 66. Holy shit.

She just landed the role for the sequel to the Joker 3. Look at that face. Axel Rose in high school. Rosanna Arquette is taking issue with Pulp Fiction more than 30 years after its release, telling the press that she is over how Tarantino includes the use of the N-WRose. and his scripts. Excuse me. Can you imagine? Is she still living in L.A.?

I bet. Like I said, you become retired if you stay out there long enough. Sean, I'll tell you. That's why I get out. He's getting crazy. He's like, the N-word's bothering me. There's something wrong.

I've got to get out of here. In an interview published by The Times on Saturday, Arquette said that, while Pulp Fiction is a great piece of cinema, aspects of Tarantino's writing should not be considered art.

And he replied, You fucking whew. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Still the best, meanest insult ever. It's iconic, a great

film on a lot of levels, she began. You got it because you had great tits. Don't forget that. But personally, I am over the use of the N-word. I hate it. I cannot stand that he, Tarantino, has been given a

Hall pass. It's not art. It's just racist and it's creepy. How is it creepy? I'm sure you say the same thing about hip hop, don't you, you stupid whore. Excuse me, folks. Anyways, I thought it was very artfully

and it sounded like Thanksgiving at my house. No, I'm not fucking kidding. This is what she's bothered about, I'm guessing. It was a good scene. It ain't the coffee in my kitchen. It's the dead nigger. Oh, goodness, gracious. Halloween.

Look, I don't think about anything. I'm going to ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you notice a sign on the front of my house that said dead nigger storage? Jimmy, you know I didn't see no shit. Did you notice a sign in the front of my house that said dead nigger storage?

I think I see your point. No. I didn't. You know why you didn't see that sign? Why? So you can say nigger again? Because it ain't there because storing dead niggers ain't my fucking business.

That's why. It is. I'm acting. How the fuck didn't I land that roll? Say that shit in my sleep. I'm starting to see your point. I watch out. There was a little, uh, for two of his. He kept repeating it. It wasn't like a scene where four different situations came up. He squeezed it into one side. It's just a word. Before Dallas,

my producer was a guy named Raz, I think. I've had a few of them. Maybe it was the one before that. But Raz was a black dude and we did stories like this and he, and he took the words out of my mouth. He goes, it's just a fucking word. And it is. You can say it at your own risk, but I'm just saying. You really think you can tell people what they can and can't say in America. It's the only thing that separates us from the rest of the third world shitholes. Do you know they were arresting people

in Britain now in Spain for shit they put online? Do you know, you don't think that's coming here soon? Not as long as Trump's rambled after that. Aye, aye, aye. Anyways, this is why I like Tarantino. He came back and shut her pie hole. The strong

critique garnered near immediate response from Tarantino, who wrote a letter to Arquette on Monday, taking shots at her for showing a lack of class and honor. First of all, who has class and honor in Hollywood? I hope the publicity you're getting from 132 different media outlets, writing your name and printing your picture was worth disrespecting me in a film. I remember quite clearly you were thrilled to be a part of. Well-worded, isn't it?

Do you feel this way now? Very possibly. But after I gave you a job and you... took the money to trash it for what I suspect is very cynical reasons, shows a decided lack of class, no less honor the director continued. And then he added this. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Oh, come on. No need to. That was ridiculous. There's supposed to be a spare decor between artistic colleagues, but it would appear the objective was accomplished, Tarantino concluded. The letter published by Variety ended simply with congratulations.

before he signed off Q. God, he stuck it right up there, didn't he? Strangely enough, Arquette had reunited with... Here's even more of her being... Strangely enough, Arquette had reunited with the Pulpiction cast members as recently as 2024 for a 30th anniversary

celebrating of the screening of the movie at the TCL Chinese Theater. And she didn't have a problem with that. You fucking hypocrite. Regarding Tarantino's use of the racial slur, Samuel L. Jackson, I don't give a fuck what he thinks either, okay? This guy hates white people more than fucking Louis Farrakhan does. And he still gets more. Hey, why don't we put him in more commercials?

Good to see they're giving him a shot finally, huh? What the fuck? Samuel L. Jackson, who has starred in six of his films. And he's being a hypocrite because he's going to back Tarantino on this one, because he might work with him again. but I've heard him in articles and shit saying how racist we are and so he's full of shit has repeatedly defended the director's dialogue choices

not only as Jackson said there's no dishonesty in anything that Quentin Tarantino writes or how people talk, feel or speak in his movies but he also stood up for his colleague by comparing him to other art forms which I did already. When you have a song that says the N-word

and it 300 times nobody says shit he said. You know why nobody says shit? Because if they did you'd be complaining about it. You fuckhead. Anyways, good actor. I enjoy him. I enjoy his work, but enough already.

Let's get a new black guy. Where's the latest Sammy Davis, Jr.? Wait. It's Bernie. I'm burning. I'm burning. It's Terry Bradshaw drunk. I think I already said.

Guys, you've all, I've played that before. but that was a trans deaf person. And that was an actual singing competition in Britain. That wasn't to be funny and shit. That's how PC and psychotic they are. I think she sounded better singing than when she was talking. I thought I heard a German shepherd get hit by a car.

All right, that's it, folks. I miss you already. Don't forget Cameo.com, if you want me to, film a short, you know, video saying, again, happy birthday or whatever, or roasting one of your friends. Go to camu.com and click on the profile. It'll tell you what to do. I won't see you guys till a week from this coming Monday, which Dallas says is the 23rd. Have a little vacation here. That's it. I'm told them. Take care of. You guys think it. I'll say it. Very welcome. See you back here in a little while. Take care.

Hi. Good night, everybody. Thank you.