The Nick DiPaolo Show - CDC: Caucasians Don't Count | Nick Di Paolo Show #464

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

CDC prioritizes minorities for vaccine. Trump Team tackles PA. AOC gets inoculated.

FRIGOLD TRAUD! FRIGOLD TRAUD! I will run, I will run, I will run I will run, I will run, I will run I will run, I will run, I will run I will run, I will run, I will run Giant dog for the people of America Giant dog for the man next door I am your voice. Oh, yeah. Oh yeah! Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen. It's Monday, Christmas week.

And we'll be doing today and tomorrow. And then we're off till... I should have looked that up. I don't know till when, Jason. Till what? Monday the 28th. Monday the 28th we come back? Okay. I think I should know that. Anyhow, did that give you goosebumps, that little cold opening? Apparently it's not just us who like Trump. Apparently it's a, see, it's tyranny versus, I think it's coming to a head, folks, in a global scale. Because it is globalists who want to change.

We're the only freestanding thing left. So that was fucking awesome. I don't know who put that together. And it's no exaggeration. You might be going, oh, come on. Yeah, fucking please. You know what? Please. Nica, come on. Yeah, fucking please. You know what? Please.

Nicka, please. Nicka, I said. Nicka. Anyhow, yeah, it's all so obvious now. The further we get away from November 3rd, huh? Putting the pieces together and thank God Giuliani and Sidney Powell on the job. It really is crystal clear what the fuck they tried to pull off. Don't you think?

I do. If you don't believe me, watch this. Excuse the shitty calling. Start with the virus. Import it into America. Talk about it nonstop. Call some governors. Turn it up. Not them.

Not them. That's your guys. Put patients into nursing homes. Tell thousands. Blame the president. Keep blaming. Blame some more. Lock down small business.

Kill the economy. Push mail-in voting. Stoke a race war. Call for riots. Pick a candidate. No, not her. Yeah, that's more like it. Lock him in his basement. Shield him from the press. Don't cover this. Don't cover this. Don't cover this. Keep doing that. Ignore the economic recovery. Downplay the world peace. Pump the polls. Pump. Pump. Don't stop pumping. Install your software and swing states. That was fast. Take control of polling stations. Call off the election

when you're losing. Kick everyone out. Pull out all the extra ballots. Get the software to do its thing. Get the media to say it's over. Call the big tech guys. Ban anyone who notices. Act like the whole thing never happened. Stealing the most powerful republic in the world. It's that easy. Argue with that. Oh, you're a conspiracy theory theorist. You're nuts. Tinfoil hat. Yeah, yeah. That's the objection that they already have answered they when you when you stumble over the truth they go oh you're nuts you're conspiracy and it works people so stupid i liked how they said look over here with china and biden when all the rest of this shit is going on i i fucking jake tapper fucking cnn stumbled over them He's sitting there still going, all these baseless guys. There'll be nothing left.

Even if Trump doesn't end up in the White House again, there'll be nothing left of the mainstream media. They have given the people on the right so much to fucking work with for the next few years. I mean, they can just pound it home. I still got, you know, people who don't believe it was fucking stolen. And I'm like, what are you reading? Oh, that's right.

You're reading your shit. Because I have this show, I read it all. And all I keep seeing is new news coming out. When I watch, you know, One America News or Newsmax, they're not making these headlines up. They can be proven. But when I go to CNN and MSNBC, they're reading off the same script. Baseless claims.

He's out of his mind. Blah, blah, blah. And there was no talk of martial law. They had a meeting Friday, I think, in the White House Friday night, was it? Like a four-hour meeting. I think Flynn was there. There was no talk of martial law. Somebody put that out, some fucking jerk. Oh, you guys are just filthy, filthy, filthy people. But yeah, you can't tell me China didn't work. Isn't it all clear now?

I mean, Biden, he's been in bed with China for the last few years. We didn't know it. Now we know why. He probably, like I said, his fingerprints are probably on the fucking microscopes. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here.

Come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks. I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks. Come over here. Talk to me in the face. I think your brain is going soft. So, yeah. I mean, come on, ladies and gentlemen. Hear ye.

Hear ye. The court's in session. The court's in session now. Here come the judge. Here come the judge. that was the big story I'd say this week and Trump teams his campaign team Trump campaign incorporated a pack whatever the fuck they filed independently to reverse the decisions that went on in Pennsylvania.

So this is very interesting. Donald J. Trump for President Inc., President Trump's campaign committee, today, that will be yesterday, filed a petition for a writ of certiorari. What is that, Jason? It's Latin. You're smarter than me. For a writ of certoriae. What is that, Jason? It's Latin. You're smarter than me. I mean, it looks a little bit like certifications, so.

I know. That's what it means. But how do you? That's Latin. Certoriae? Let's call it writ of certoriae. The fuck? Why would I put Latin in my article?

I don't know nothing about that. I don't. I didn't take Latin. I don't know any Latin people. Anyways, yeah, anyways, to the U.S. Supreme Court to reverse a trio of Pennsylvania Supreme Court cases which illegally changed Pennsylvania's mail balloting law immediately before and after the 2020 presidential election in violation of Article 2 of the United States Constitution and Bush v. Gore. This represents the campaign's first independent U.S. Supreme Court filing and seeks relief based on the same constitutional arguments successfully raised in Bush v. Gore. The petition follows a related Pennsylvania case where Justice Alito and two

other justices observed the constitutionality of the Pennsylvania Supreme Court's decision extending the statutory deadline for receipt of mail ballots from 8 p.m. on election day, get this, to 5 p.m. three days later. Yeah, that doesn't smell like fish. It has national importance and there is a strong likelihood that the state Supreme Court decisions violates the federal constitution. Of course it does. You can be a moron and see that, goddammit. You're entitled to shit. Exactly. The campaign's petition seeks to reverse three...

In other words, Alito and the other guy agreed with what Trump was trying to do. The campaign's petition seeks to reverse three decisions which eviscerated the Pennsylvania legislature's protections against mail ballot fraud, including A, prohibiting election officials checking whether signatures on mail ballots are genuine during canvassing on election day. That's a no-no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. B, eliminating the right of campaigns to challenge mail ballots during canvassing for ford signatures and other irregularities no no no no no no no no no

c holding that the rights of campaigns to observe the canvassing of mail ballots only meant that they were only allowed to be in the in the room in this case the philadelphia convention center which is the size of several football fields so they said long as you're in the room uh we're covering our ass which again was another no no no no no no no. And D, eliminating the statutory requirements that voters properly, listen to this. Yeah, you're not cheating.

Sign, address, and date mail ballots. They threw all that out the window. Do you believe that? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Now, guys, can I just say, if the Supreme Court turns his nose up at this shit all bets are off i don't know what people are gonna do on either side and don't think the

right isn't capable of fucking burning down shit let's hope so anyways what who said the petition seeks all appropriate remedies including vacating the appointment of electors committed to Joseph Biden, who probably has no idea what this is. What are we doing? Nah, shut up. What's going on right now? We'll explain it to you later, Joe. Just know you're president. And allowing the Pennsylvania General Assembly to select their replacements. The campaign also moved for expedited consideration, asking the Supreme Court to order responses by December 23rd and reply by December 24th to allow the United States Supreme Court to rule before Congress meets on January 6th to consider the votes of the Electoral College.

Rudy Giuliani, attorney for President Trump. That was all him, by the way. What a smart old bugger. I hope I have some marbles. You know? Imagine this guy's like, my dad, whatever. This guy's about his age. Don't even can't spell their last name.

I mean, this fuck is out there. Sharp as a tack. Thank God for the greaseball goodies. fuckers out there. Sharp as a tack. Thank God for the grease ball, Giddies. In our N-word segment tonight, some articles just get me right in the taint and really fucking infuriate me. Headline, Senator calls for death penalty of Republicans challenging election. Well, not directly. This was Sheehan in new hampshire another you know what fucking take the vote away from fucking women well i didn't say that i mean this woman look at this new hampshire pig by the way she's probably the hottest chick in fucking new hampshire over 40

but listen to her this dumb she didn't directly say give him but she you know she wants to call for treason if you question the election treason is punishable by him the death penalty, but she wants to call for treason if you question the election. Treason is punishable by what? The death penalty. So let's look at her fucking no-lipped. Probably get a cock the size of fucking Dick Butkus. What? Why'd you go there?

I couldn't think of anybody. Terrell Suggs. Terrell Suggs, according to Senator Gene Shaheen, Democrat, New Hampshire, New England. I don't know what happened to you. Republican lawmakers, listen to this, who refused to accept President-elect Joe Biden's electoral victory, are bordering on sedition and treason. Really? Let's listen to this dumb cunt. Really?

Let's listen to this dumb cunt. Each of us who are serving, Tuberville has been elected, but he has not been sworn in. But each of us who are serving as senators took an oath to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States. One of the most fundamental principles of the Constitution.

Pause. Yeah, is that covered? Does that cover stealing the fucking election? You dumb bitch. This is what Democrats do. They do something illegal. You catch them doing it. And then when you accuse them of it,

you're the fucking asshole and they flip it on you. In this case, you should be punished with treason for not going along with their fucking scam to steal this election. You fucking yeast infection in a pantsuit. Yuck. Any woman over 50, put a gun in their mouth. Whoops. Except for my family members and shit.

And the hot ones. Is that offensive enough for you? You fucking. Calm down. You fucking. Calm down. You stupid fucking mouth. OK, let it roll. It's the peaceful transition of power. These senators and members of Congress who have refused to acknowledge that we had a free and fair election.

Pause. We didn't. You dumb bitch. Are you that ensconced in your own fucking lib world? How dare you insult the people? I'd say 74 million, but apparently it was a lot more. You really think Joe Biden got 80 million votes? He did worse with black and brown people, lost all the bellwether counties, lost Ohio, Florida. You really think he won the election though? Republicans picked up all kinds of seats at the bottom of the ballot,

but Trump lost. How fucking dare you? Said Greta, then fucking dare you? Said Greta. Then fucking Bloomberg, whatever her name was. Go ahead. Let the whore talk some more. In which Joe Biden beat Donald Trump by over seven million votes. Are bordering on sedition and treason.

You're a man. Thinking that they are going to overturn. You're a man. You're a man. Thinking that they are going to overturn a duly elected. You're a man. You smug cocksucker. Fuck you. You are a man. Just like any woman that seems to have power. You notice broads on the left.

Is there one of them that likes cock? Look at her. She could be an offensive coordinator for the Patriots. Throw a hat on that. Put a headset on it. Can you imagine turning this around on the fucking Republican with all this evidence? They really don't watch other news channels, do they? How fucking dare you?

You think the American people are that stupid? Remember what I said? Even if Biden won, he's not my president, even if he did it legitimately. But it's so much evidence. I wish people who disagree with me watched the show because that's who I want to yell at. I'm yelling at my fans who are with me.

I can't help it. Oh, did that fucking fry my ass. Sedition, that's punishable by, you know, remember they said that about Trump after he spoke, remember, next to Putin or wherever the fuck he was

and he wasn't even with Putin. He was somewhere else, but he fucking implied that, you know, he had no problem with Russia and they were going fucking. Anyway, let's continue on this thing. Here is an ethics professor at University of Pennsylvania. We're going to get to the COVID shit, which was huge this weekend. An ethics professor at the University of Pennsylvania sparked a heated debate by suggesting essential workers should get priority for the coronavirus vaccine over the

vulnerable senior citizens because the workers are more likely to be, get this, minorities. Another self-hating white fucking dude older populations i'm quoting the professor because he's a white spineless jerk off older populations are whiter harold schmidt told the new york times society is structured in a way that enables them to live longer instead of giving additional health benefits to those who already uh had of them, we can start to level the playing field a bit, he says. Oh, my God. Do you see how he thinks of it? Level the play, like it's a game, like literally it's a game. Level the playing field. And he makes the assumption that all old white people were entitled their whole life, which that is total

nonsense, and that none of them are poor. Can you imagine, again, reversing it, going, hey, you know what? Let's not waste the vaccine on black and brown people. They really don't contribute to the society. I'm making some generalization, whatever you want to fill in there. How fucking dare you? Can you imagine? So that's how we're going to dole out medicine now? By skin color? Do you see how obsessed they are? What else are we going to dole out?

Groceries and shit like that? Eventually, you know, they'll make decisions like that. Based on, you know, because white people aren't very popular right now. Hell, we only came up with a vaccine and, you know, because white people aren't very popular right now. Hell, we only came up with a vaccine and, you know, we only put a man on the fucking moon. We only fucking came up with democracy. We only raised the level for the whole world with our former government. But let's keep poo-pooing on them. Black and brown people first because they're more susceptible. The Centers for Disease Control should use its own social vulnerability index, this is the guy I talked, to decide how to protect older people who are more at risk, Schmitt said. The index uses measures from the

census like poverty, unemployment, disability, housing status, and education. You know, minorities. And he assumes that all that, they suffer from all that, or they're victims of all this because of racism. I mean, that's the logic. And there are no white people, disabled, living, housing, you know what I mean? To determine which communities are most likely to feel the impact of a public health emergency. At least 18 states plan to use the index.

Oh, that's a good fucking idea. Oh my God. Don't say a fucking word to me. I'll get up and I'll bury this telephone in your head. At least 221,000 of those who died from COVID-19 were over 65 or about 80% of the total deaths recorded through Wednesday, according to the CDC data. Those over the age of 85 are 630 times more likely to die from the virus than those aged 18 to 29. Schmidt's comments, well, here, but here's my take on it.

schmidt's comments well here but here's my take on it um think about this you're gonna use these vaccines right on really old people who are already sick and shit isn't that sort of like i don't mean to agree with this eugenics guy but uh which is what it is this guy's like margaret sanger uh who's that nick that's a broadway star back in the 40s. She also planned Parenthood. given these old, I was thinking this, given old people this vaccine, it's sort of like spending five grand to get your 16-year-old dog's eyes fixed

with an operation. I know that's coal. I know it's coal. But you're going to give them the vaccine. You're just pouring it down a toilet. I'm it's coal, but you're going to give them the vaccine. You're just pouring it down the toilet. I'm kind of joking, but it's a sticky situation. But to do it by Ray, you know, look at him fucking just, can you tell by looking at him, you'd like to punch him in the side of the head without even knowing him?

Anyways, his comments provoke criticism from those who pointed out that the nursing home residents can't socially distance and may be of all ages. You're missing the point. You don't do anything like this by race. It's fine to call for vaccines. These are people that were critiquing him online. It's fine to call for vaccinating essential and frontline workers. One commenter said Brenda Tippin, who identifies herself as a

biologist, but you had to elaborate and identify the elderly population as being white and point to that as an assumption. They had more privileged lives, was what I just said, and time to level the playing field. Inexcusable, she said. That's's how libs look at it i'll never forget when i was working with chris rock chris rock the the uh showrunner so to speak was a fucking white kid from seattle very liberal uh decent guy but me and him got into an argument one day and he goes it's their turn meaning black and brown people what are we playing chess what are we playing a board game this is my fucking life it's nobody's turn can you imagine thinking like that we should take it in the ass for the 60 70 years we're on the planet because it's their turn

others argue seniors who have been isolated for months on end are literally dying of loneliness and that he was arguing that the elderly are not only non-essential they're actually quite expendable they interviewed one lady i think she proves my point you say you're a little tired this morning is that right i am tired she is very tired actually, I heard, your favorite activity to do at the center here is to take a little nap. Take a nap as many times as I can. And not from Joe Biden. That's your favorite activity here at the nursing home. She's like, no, that and giving hand jobs in the lady room.

She's like, no, that and giving hand jobs in the lady room. I don't understand how you could be considered an ethics professor. One person wrote, Portia Smith, your worldview is anything but appalling. What do you do, though? It's a lot of vaccine that goes down a toilet. Prevents them from COVID, but then, you know, they die, whatever the fuck they would die. But if it was my Grammy, I'd want her to have it. But isn't this creepy, folks? Next headline, related minorities first. Every U.S. state has been advised to consider ethnic minorities as a critical and vulnerable group in their vaccine distribution plans, according to the Center for Disease Control

guidance, because they're so put down upon, you know. Oh, boy, you. As a result, half of the nation's states have outlined plans that now prioritize black, Hispanic, and indigenous residents over white people. What message does that send? Seriously, can you imagine putting white people first for anything in the last 60 years without causing a riot? Yeah, but you have been first. No, we haven't. have been first.

No, we haven't. So anyways, as the vaccine rolls up again, so they're going to, the 18 states are considering. According to our analysis, 25 states have committed to a focus on racial and ethnic communities

as they decided which groups should be prioritized in receiving a coronavirus vaccine. That's fucking. That means you moved to the front of the line. But again, what happens down the road? I don't know if we are in a food crisis and they start doling shit out. You know, I mean, that's a blanket excuse for black. Well, they don't have good supermarkets. You know, they never got the good for, I mean, it's for everything.

Everything. And it's implied that it's because of white racism because we live in a systemically white, but bullshit. And I'm saying bull fucking shit. Everybody out for themselves. That's how it's been. Nick, you're so foolish.

Kiss my fucking white balls. I'm making $11 today. These include New Mexico, where collaboration with Native Americans is being prioritized, all six of them. California, which is committed to ensuring black and Hispanic people have greater access to the vaccine.

In Oregon, wow, all these are surprises, huh? Where health officials have said that ethnic minorities will have equitable access to the shot. Of course they will, or they'll be held to pay. Some states have made even more specific plans to prioritize communities of color, with 12 states specifically mentioning efforts to partner with health care providers in areas where a large minority population to reach diverse, reach a diverse. Anytime you hear the word diverse, again, it means it's an anti-white word. Just keep that in mind.

But it kills you more than, yeah, because diabetes. Lay off the fucking Skittles for breakfast. Put down the Cheetos and Cherry Coke and have a fucking V8 instead of stealing one. What? Who the? That's Curly from the Stooges jason looking at me crazy the cdc has also issued guidance on its uh social vulnerability index that's sv that uses 15 united states census variables

to help local officials identify communities that may need support jesus christ why don't you go by why don't you use a list of people who have purchased, I don't know, Mercedes in the last fucking year or so. Any car over $30,000. Go by that. It'll be pretty even. I see some poor black dudes

in some nice fucking muscle car. It's being used in states such as Michigan where minority status and language spoken could be taken into consideration when deciding how high a priority you are for receiving. Is this creeping anybody out? Is this not creeping you out? Deciding by skin color who's going to get saved. The fuck?

Sounds a lot like Nazi Germany. Nice tits. Second one in. I'll give her a shot right the ass I'll give that big a shot in the ass a man goes to a hospital to receive his vaccine the nurse replies how did you know I had a 36 b cup states referencing black hispanic and indigenous residents as a priority in their COVID vaccine plans include, listen, all the dumbest liberalists, not all of them, but California, surprise, Hawaii, couldn't get more liberal, Idaho, Indiana, Illinois, yuck, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon.

Did I already say that? Pennsylvania, Utah, Washington, and Wyoming. Oh, I'm going to word it another way. All putting white people last when it comes to saving their old wrinkled asses. How does that sound? Say it like that, you motherless fuck you. Coffee time. What did I cook this weekend?

I made a stromboli. Thing must have weighed eight pounds. I am not shitting you. Jason, I should always send you pictures if I do any shit over the wicker. This thing. Oh my God. What a beautiful thing it was. I'll send it to you maybe before the show's over. Sad part is I ate four pounds of it at a sitting. If I look a little fucking bloated. In the United States, black and Hispanic people are almost three times more likely to die from COVID-19 than whites. So I guess we should blame that on the white people, right?

They should be punished. I mean, hey, Wally. Hey, Wally. You know, Dad's black, buddy. He's dying and stuff But I notice he lives on root beer and chin Gee, Beav He's a minority

Gotta save him first They can't help themselves I guess so It reported that California, Louisiana,isiana new mexico north carolina indiana have listed fairness equity or both as a key principle for vaccine distribution well i think senator bird said it best when he said this there are white niggers i've seen a lot of white in my time i'm going to use that word. Sounds like you want to use it, Senator. There are white niggers.

There are black niggers. Oregon, another liberal shithole that should be fucking burned down, is also emphasizing health equity as a central pillar of its rollout because they're self-hating white people. While North Carolina specifically cited historically marginalized populations as an early, do you understand, do you understand the society evolved on its own? I'm not ignoring government's role in Jim Crow law and shit like that, but do you understand just because some people are behind in some statistics it

it automatically now it's called disparate impact it's implied it's because of racism maybe we just move slow you know i'm saying like jackie robinson they weren't ready for that this society until it happened oh bullshit oh do you see the baseball by the way made that did you see that jace so now those statistics are included how do you feel about that as a baseball fan and a white kid as a white man i'm horrified you're horrified no no i'm just kidding um no i mean i don't know it doesn't really matter to me that much actually actually. Really? It doesn't bother you that they're going to put somebody ahead of Ted Williams, who played in the Negro Leagues with, what, six teams? Yeah, but no one's going to know.

Everyone knows Ted Williams. If you're a baseball fan, you know Ted Williams. Unless you're really hardcore, you're not really going to dig into those other stats. Okay, that's a dumb answer, but I'll just pretend it was a good one. Young kids are going to grow up, maybe the 10 that are left that follow baseball, and they're not going to fucking know Ted Williams from a hole in the wall. They're just going to see whatever and not know. They weren't facing the quality of fucking that Ted Williams was facing.

I guess like a similar argument to, you know, do you add Ichiro's hits from the Japan League to his major league total? It's a fucking easy answer. No. No. That's what I'm saying. No.

That's fucking triple A ball over there. Next question. Anyways, historically marginalized population is an early phase critical population. I don't even know what that meant. I just fucking digressed in the middle of it. Hey guys, Merch Park,

right? They're one of our sponsors. I want to welcome, I've been welcoming them for three weeks, Tommy. Write some new copy. I want to welcome merchpark.com as a sponsor for the show. They're adding new shirts and mugs. I thought adding new shirts and mugs. I thought it said shit in mugs.

New shirt and mug designs every day and are going to tailor some just to Nick DiPaolo show viewers. Here's a couple that they sent over today. They do a good set. Newsome is the virus. You might want to rinse that cup. Cuomo is the virus.

Do they have the Nick Di palo hoop skirt no merchpark.com put these out uh this week for all 50 of the governors from maine to hawaii uh you can show you disgust for these liberal discotias uh for every one of these people uh They also were inspired by our show and put out these two quotes from our buddy Frank Rizzo. You're a crumbum. You're a crumbum. Again, you can find all this stuff at merchpark.com. And this is important.

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and we will keep sharing it with you. And we will also put a link up on my website, nickdip.com. Thank you, Merch Park. Appreciate it very much. One-time donors, I'd like to thank since last Thursday. Thank you. One-time contributions. Mario Landry, New Jersey. contributions. Mario Landry, New Jersey. Renee Alden, New York. My name, Rob, New Jersey. Parker Suarez, Tennessee. Tony Sugarcock, Pets, Arizona. New monthly supporters, Gary T. Peck, Jorge Benvenides, Robert Mums, Candido. thank you guys for signing up as monthly subscribers I appreciate never tell anybody

I'm a patron Nick if Trump actually does come back in four years do you think he would run as an independent or libertarian given the absolute minimal support for the GOP? I feel he would crush

it again. James from Saramon, California. James, as long as your business don't conflict with mine. If he comes back and for you, is he going to run as an independent or a libertarian? It doesn't really matter what the label is, James.

You know what I mean? It'll be the Trump party. Fuck it. You know what I mean? I don't think it really matters. But yeah, seeing how the GOP was sticking in his ass, I agree. I don't think he'd want to run under that moniker

just to stick it in their ear, right? Stop the, start the Trump party, whatever. Rebels. The bad hair party, I don't know, the orange party. You got red and blue, I can throw a little orange in there. He would crush it again. But four years is a long time, isn't it, huh? I mean, he's not a spring chicken either. Can you imagine thinking about having to go through all those debates and shit again? You know what? If anybody could, it's definitely him, James. So it's actually a good question. He probably would do it under something else, you know? Hope he makes up something. I'll join it tomorrow. Anyway, thank you for the question.

Congress agrees on COVID stimulus. Finally finally these twat zones thanks to nancy pelosi and the libs getting in the way millions of people out there with small businesses are dying literally starving and uh they were playing you know because pelosi wants to put it in shit for you know guys to have abortions and all this garbage remember i said that in the middle of summer shit that had nothing to do with COVID. You fucking twat. Excuse my language. Our father who art in heaven.

Congress reached a deal Sunday. These lights hurt my eyes as the show goes on. On roughly $900 billion. Where are we getting this money? We must be just printing this shit. I could use a new pair of ice skates 900 billion coronavirus relief package including a new round of 600 stimulus checks for most americans where are we getting this dough can you tell me give me the money you understand me give me the fucking money

you hear me you hear me i gotta come here bust my body give me the fucking money that of course was a small restaurant owner in Iowa. More help is on the way. Here's Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Republican Kentucky. Saturday on the floor. He also took a dump on the center floor. He's going to make an advance.

Announcing the breakthrough. That's all the energy. He can't even put his thumb all the way up. the breakthrough. That's all the energy. He can't even put his thumb all the way up. Lawmakers only have to promptly finalize texts

and avoid any last-minute obstacles. Well, isn't that how the shit always gets delayed with last-minute obstacles? Anyways, that's what McConnell said. Both chambers of Congress are expected to vote

on the package on Monday. Yeah? We got a word from one of them. If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true. That kid's got more energy than McConnell. The massive pack will include temporary supplemental payments of $300 weekly for those on unemployment, plus direct $600 stimulus checks to Americans with yearly incomes up to $75,000. That's a lot of dough, Rayme.

Under the $2.2 trillion CARE Act passed in March, eligible Americans received one-time $1,200 checks. Also included are subsidies for business decimated by the economic downturn. Plus, but that was part of the plan, wasn't it, people? This is all scripted, I swear to God. I swear. Well, I

showed you a thing at the beginning, how to steal and elect. It's all scripted 10 years ago in a hotel. I believe it. I really believe it. I wonder who's directing. By the economic downturn, plus funds for schools, health care providers, and renters facing eviction. Well, how about podcasters facing eviction? All right, get out! Get out! I'm going. I'm going. Leading Democratic lawmakers heralded news of the deal following the announcement by McConnell. Today we have reached an agreement

with the Republicans and the White House on an emergency coronavirus relief omnibus package that delivers urgently needed funds to save the lives and livelihoods of the American people. Yeah, too late. How many of these businesses can't come back? Because you were fucking around

time for a revolution get out the pitchforks and the fucking super soakers and this things like that the lives and lives of Americans people as the virus accelerates said Senate Minority Leader Chuck I'm a douchebag dirty pig Schumer

look at the forehead on this fuck good diagram by Vince Lombardi's power sweep right Douchebag, dirty pig, Schumer. Look at the forehead on this fuck. Could diagram Vince Lombardi's power sweep right. Ugh. And House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. When is she going to die? It's about, there she is.

Look at her, mouth all stretched out from sucking cock. In China, in China, cock. You listening? Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? We are going to crush the virus and put money in the pockets of the American people. That's what those two morons said. I actually heard somebody pose this question. Is Biden, once he's in, you think he'll get the virus under control?

Can you imagine posing that? Yeah, thanks to Donald Trump moving the world to get the vaccine. They're already setting up softball questions. Do you people, do you ever fight fair ever? The legislation comes as the death toll from COVID-19 in the U.S. approaches 317,000, even though we're counting people who get like shot as COVID. Honest to God, I read that today. And the economy is still railing from the effects of the coronavirus downturn.

Do you know how many people got N1, H1N1 flu when Obama was in office with Biden? Do you know how many? 60 million. Remember the clip we showed the guy who was in charge under Obama said we were just lucky that it wasn't fatal or we would have been so i don't want to hear any more of it we've whacked out over a hundred thousand two hundred thousand people one because of a flu i don't want to hear it anymore it's a fucking hoax uh i after a long-running series of aborted starts on follow-up to the march relief package sch Schumer and Pat Toomey, Republican Pennsylvania, worked past one of the final stumbling blocks to a deal late on Saturday.

Toomey sought to bar the Federal Reserve and the Treasury Department from restarting emergency lending efforts to corporate, municipal, and medium-sized businesses. Toomey said Sunday that the lawmakers were still finalizing the language on the issue, but made it clear he would support the relief. You better, dude. But I agree with him. The last thing those companies need. Remember some of the checks went to companies last time who had plenty of fucking dough?

Now they want to send it to them legally? I hear a buzzing out there. You? No? Yeah. Lights? I don't know. Who gives a shit? Hey, early Sunday, again related

to this story, President Trump tweeted that Congress must get it done, he said. They must get it done. They're probably going to be here another eight years. Come on, God damn it. Let's go, let's go, let's go. That's Trump in front of Pelosi's house in his SUV. Hey, did you see Rand Paul?

Excuse me. Me and my wife argue whether his hair is real or not every day. I don't know. He's a smart dude. I like him. Rand Paul blisters Fauci. Masks are all about submission. He fucking is so right on the muddy.

And that's what it feels like when I put it on. I feel like somebody's holding a gun to my head and go put it on. We know it doesn't do anything, but put it on. And if it, like, can I ask you a question? Let's show Grandpa first. And that's some actual science about the mask mandates. You broke down, you broke it down in a very clear way. Talk to us about it.

It'd be one thing if we were told you have to give up your liberty, you have to give up your freedom, but we're going to save your life. But what if you have to give up all your freedoms and they're wrong on the science? Every one of the mandates, and you look in country after country, state after state, you look at when the mask mandates went in, the incidents went up exponentially after the mandates. Restaurants, nobody can eat in a restaurant. There's no science behind any of that. Middle seat missing on the airplane. You really think you're like 12 inches from the other guy instead of six inches. It really makes a difference. None of it really makes any sense.

And there's no epidemiological evidence. You know, it's like, wash your hands, stand six feet apart. There's no evidence of that. What have I been saying? I think that the trajectory of the virus has been, it hasn't been altered at all by any of these things. He's a doctor. He knows. I know a thing or two about a thing or two.

What have I been saying? I'm on a plane. They go, you can take your mask off to eat and drink. Would you really do that if you thought this was as deadly as they portrayed to be? Honest to God. How fucking silly. And the other point is, it's peaking right now, right? Supposedly

3,000 people are dying. It's getting worse than it was. And we've been wearing masks for almost a year now. So that, does anybody look back and put one, two together? Apparently the masks don't work. Here's another clip of Rand. But there's no value to the cloth mask at all. It's like wearing your underwear.

You might as well cut your underwear up and wear your underwear protection. That's gross. That's why I call it a face diaper. That's why. So you've got a public who has accepted this, though, by and large, because we've been told by everyone we have to accept it. Have we lost track of the Constitution? Have we forgotten about the Constitution? Well, that's why I like this youth group here. What are they asked to give up? They're being asked to give up their graduation from high school, their graduation from college, their

wedding. And if we're not careful, it's going to be their five-year wedding anniversary or their 10-year anniversary. You're still going to be wearing a mask. If Fauci has his way, you'll never give up on the mask. It's all about submission. They want you to submit to their will, whether there's any signs. In fact, like on schools. I've been telling Fauci for six months, the evidence is that if you open schools, you will not get a surge. The whole world accepts it, except for Dr. Fauci, and he finally accepted it last week, six months after I started showing him the evidence. Okay.

Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom! No! No! Yahoo, motherfucker! I wonder if I'll get back on YouTube. Nga, nga. Okay, let's stay on the COVID fake vaccine. Make me a sandwich.

Make me a fucking sandwich. Mmm. In our make me a sandwich segment tonight, Rap Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, otherwise known as AOC, which means asshole or cunt. I can't decide. I just came up with that last night while I was fiddling in my hate.

Recorded her experience getting the COVID-19 vaccine and shared it with her 8.2 million dummy followers on Instagram. Another reason to show us your tits. Let's check it out. Ah, she didn't like it. At all. A, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. The freshman representative of parts of the Bronx and Queens on Friday night

shared video of herself in the lead up to the shot, including filling out a questionnaire. Oh, that's terrific. The injection itself, as well as how she felt afterwards. Excuse me. She said, I would never ask anybody to do something that I wouldn't do, you know, myself. And I think that we have footage of some of the side effects after she got the shot. Just some mild tremors uh the democratic socialists also answered questions from followers saying uh she was experiencing some minor symptoms after the inoculation

you know minor stuff like i actually had logical thoughts and some reasoning was spilled in there you know really fucking horrible side effects that I would never have otherwise. Your mother sucks cocks in hell. Ocasio-Cortez also tried to explain in layman's terms how the mRNA vaccine differs from traditional inoculation by teaching cells how to make a protein that triggers an immune response instead of injecting the patient with a weakened or inactive inactivated strain of the virus that's what you do when you get a flu shot it's some flu juice kind of watered down and that but this they teach the cell itself now she tries to make an analogy, which shows how stupid she is. It's kind of like the difference between if you had a burglar and then he broke into your, why would I have a burglar? And then he broke, what, in a Happy Meal?

What are you talking about? And then he broke into your house and you learned to fight him versus if somebody gave you a picture of the burglar. fight him versus if somebody gave you a picture of the burglar if you see that picture and you see that guy walking towards your house you're like oh i know that guy he's a burglar i see what she's driving at but even me as a comedian could put it so much better i just don't have time. Oh, that is so fucking hilarious. You teach a kid karate. Somebody picks on him, he can kick the kid's ass himself as opposed to, you know, I don't know, put a bully in a wheelchair or cripple and then you can beat him up or something like that. What? Who said that? Anyways, it was a great analogy. Such a doll. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up?

She won't shut up. She never will. Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, on Meet the Press, Russian scientists who worked on vaccine found dead. Why do you get into anything other than paper routes over there? A prominent Russian scientist who was working on COVID-19 vaccine was found dead with a stab wound. What, did he fall eight stories onto a fork? What happened? vaccine was found dead with a stab wound what did he fall eight stories onto a fork what happened found dead with a stab wound after plummeting yeah put the fucking math together uh out his window in saint petersburg that's not florida that's over there in russia there okay uh Alexander Sasha Kagansky, 45, was in his underwear.

Yeah, you don't have to be Quincy. This is foul play. When he fell to his death from his 14th floor apartment, he fell. He fell. Yeah, he fell. He fell with the help of fucking two feet and two hands punching him in the back the scientists also suffered a stab wound as he landed on one of the world's strongest sporks dropped by people having lunch on the um he had a stab wound to a

police believed there was a scuffle oh is that? Before Kigansky fell from the building. Russian police say they're investigating Kigansky's death as a possible homicide and questioning a 45-year-old man as a potential suspect. Well, the Russians are behind all this shit. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? Because he was Russian and it happened in Russia. Kigansky, best known for his work in terms of endowment. Well, he played a cancer cell itself. He was best known for his work on cancer research.

So it's good that somebody pushed him out of a window. He was most recently working as it's never like somebody that's on, you know, like on TikTok, an influencer well every once in a while he was most recently working as director of uh the center for uh genomic and regenerative medicine at russia's far east and federal university as you know they beat nebraska two weeks ago 75 to 11 he had been working on developing a vaccine against the coronavirus. Keganski's body was found by a neighbor on Zamshan Street. That figures. Everything happens on Zamshan Street, doesn't it? Got to stay out of that area. It's very bad. He's gone. I'm going to do nothing about it.

Anyways, folks, that's it for today, for Monday. Remember, we're only doing today and tomorrow. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget cameo.com. A lot of people, this is a good time year for me. People send these as gifts to people who are fans of mine, and it's pretty good, actually. What are you going to get them? Fucking Michael Jordan cologne again? Fucking odor eaters? Come on! Anyways, go to Cameo.com and tell me about the, you know, click on my profile. Tell me a little bit about the person.

I will make a video on my phone for about a minute, minute and a half roasting the person or being nice to him if he's dying of some type of Russian cancer. All right? That's the show. You think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.