The Nick DiPaolo Show - Chick-fil-A Customers Pissed! | Nick Di Paolo Show #1407

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about an awful way to go, Target's fascism and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Come on, goddammit! Let's go, let's go, let's go! Let's go! Hi. Welcome to the show. How are you, folks? Great to be with you. A lot going on. Watching the country end times as we destroy ourselves, we commit suicide. A lot of people don't realize you're watching a cultural revolution. I don't know what it is. It's a revolution from the left, and I'll say it again. They're calling the rights bluff. I don't know how it's a revolution from the left and I'll say it again they're calling the right's bluff I don't know how many people on the right are in on it but it's like no we're going

full-blown socialism slash marxism slash whatever you want to call it and you can't stop us that's what I'm saying it's fucking insanity out there and I'll say it again the headlines are darker and the stories I skip because I like to get a few laughs out of this fucking show are incredible. Mothers strangling their babies.

Some woman stabbed her, what was it, three-year-old child to death then threw the kid off a balcony. I can't make this shit up. It's fucking insanity. But I've also heard MKUltra turns that up too.

All that shit. They make you want to believe, you know, the world's... But I think we can prove something. This shit's happening. It is fucking creepy, man. And we're all laying around. Ooh, the Masked Singer's on today. At least I tune into a fucking meaningless baseball game.

Fucking Red Sox down 9-3, went out in the ninth. Just about to change it. Again, you know, I record everything. So I start to fast forward through the Red Sox at best, just to make sure nothing happened. Oh, shit happened. They scored fucking five runs, made it 9-8. Had the winning fucking tying run on third base.

And Casas strikes out. That's another story. Have I talked about this on the show, that guy Tristan Casas, this young guy for the Red Sox who paints his nails? Oh, yeah, yeah. Have I mentioned him? Yeah. He's a left-handed hitter.

He's a giant kid who's got scary power. But he paints not just his hands, his toenails. I kind of like him. I hope he's not a fruit cup, but whatever. I'm just saying, I like a guy who walks to his own beat. Like, he's a fucking... Remember first day, I told you he's laying on the side with no shirt on. He got yelled at for that.

But he looked like he owned the place. And then he's like, oh, he's eating some fucking different, everybody else is eating seeds and shit. He's over there with a banana, which didn't help my fairy. I said to my, my wife's convinced he's gay, you know, because he's shaped like a pear. He's got birthing hips. He goes like this. But motherfucker, he's got to learn to hit.

He goes between 200 and 190. But when he hits a mother... And he's great defensively. And he's got a great eye. I don't know why I'm talking about this. Why? Because I lead a life... Woke up to fucking more shit going on in the house. I keep stressing to the wife, do you realize that we're going to die in this house, right?

We're not selling this fucking thing. It's already gone up. You know, the fucking house, you know, Savannah's going through the roof. Of course, my last house, I'll be dying in it. It doesn't benefit me. All right, enough of the jib-jab. Let's get to it. We have the frozen meats. I take it you don't like that shit. Fucking Arby's.

How dare they say they have meats? I've already talked about it on the show numerous times. God, why couldn't that be a woke company being boycotted? Oh, you're right. You can't boycott something that's not making money in the first place. Fucking old people's skin. I'm convinced that's what it is. I told you you should call it Grampy's.

It's fucking gross. Again, though, 20 drinks in you. It's like a fat girl. Last call, sit in the bar. Fuck it, I'll eat it. Anyways, this really doesn't have anything to do with the menu at Arby's. Or it could.

Has anybody tasted anything a little Chinese about there? On May 12th, the Blaze reported that an unidentified female employee of an Arby's in New Iberia, what the hell does that even mean? Louisiana, was discovered dead in the freezer. I mean, how many times has that happened? freezer. I mean, how many times has that happened? Yeah. Reports now identify the deceased employee as Yoko Ono. Oh, no. She's way prettier than Yoko Ono. By the way, Yoko Ono is 111. How do you say that name, Dallas? You're a soldier. Way-it.

Way-it. Way-it Lee. Way-it Lee. I was. I was weighing it at the door slam. A 63-year-old widow and mother of four who had been managing the store on a temporary basis. I'm sure that was her dream as a kid, coming over here. I want to manage a fucking Arby's behind the scenes. On the morning of May 11th, Lay arrived at the store, or Lee, probably Lee, early to begin food preparation. As you know, a lot of preparation goes into fucking art. Turn on the heat lamps.

Hey, Bill, can you sit on these frozen patties for about 10 minutes? What do you mean? I like cheese. And at some point, entered the walk-in freezer, the poor lady, which shut behind her like an episode of the Brady Bunch. Somebody got caught in a freezer, wasn't it? In Sam's freezer?

Oh, God. By the way, the Brady Bunch, the actual house, was on sale last week, listed at $5 million on HLG or HGL, whatever the fuck it is. $5 million. $5 million. million on HLG or HL whatever the fuck it is five million dollars and I don't know rumor has it they were restoring it one of the guys said he was sexually assaulted by Sam the Butcher's ghost so it went down a million according to

reports owners had been aware since at least last August that the freezer, oh the owners, had a faulty latch. What freezer doesn't? I was telling Dale it's my first job out of college was selling frozen steak and seafood out of the back of a Zuzo pickup truck with a freezer, door to door. You heard me right. I still am thinking of writing a book about it between the dirty housewives and a little whores that answered the door and and the guy who ran it

My boss Danny we never knew his real last name He was a few years older to me drive the most expensive Porsche made He hired a kid a guy named Bill to run the place who was a cokehead and that you know Fuck and who he had fired years ago before I started working. I hired him. It's the fucking two Vietnam vets, salespeople, a college kid who would go hide his food in his freezer at home and go fuck his girlfriend all day. I had to follow him. I mean, I get stories up the ass.

I saw, I'm coming back to the office at night. I see two Rhode Island State Police chasing one of our trucks. The manager that we hired back stole one of the trucks for $10,000 worth of product. Anyways, that's for another day. Sounds like the making of a porn script over a book. No, it's like fucking Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. That's what it would be. That would be the fucking...

It's like, it's like, it's like, what do you call it? Taxi meets, why can't I, I've pitched this a million times. Taxi, you know,

because you pull in with your trucks and shit downstairs and we had the business meetings up. Taxi meets, whatever. I can't even fucking. Oh, my God. My brain's frozen in time. Anyways. Anyways, it had a faulty latch.

Apparently, the owners knew that. That day, it malfunctioned once again. And Leigh found herself trapped inside where temperatures hovered around below 10 degrees, zero. Below 10 degrees, zero. Am I saying that right? 10 degrees, zero. Below 10 degrees, zero. Am I saying that right? 10 degrees below zero. What the fuck? All right, now I'm getting nervous.

Did I just have a stroke? Is this so zempic? Oh, oh, oh, oh, damn it. Look at him. He's ripped, but he's dead. Lee began furiously pounding against the door. She did. Anyway, she was banging on the door to get it to budge or to draw attention of anyone else who might be in the

store, causing her hands to bleed, covered in blood, then collapsed into the fetal position before freezing, that's not bad, face first to the floor. Her face was frozen to the floor. That's how my wife is when I'm in control of the air conditioning in the bedroom the next morning. Anyways, her attorney, Paul Skrabenik, who was representing the family, told that delicious story.

Counselor! Counselor! It's a sad story. To make matters even worse, Lee's son, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang,

Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, Ngrang, I'm gonna, what's this, Oprah? I'm gonna cry, and who also worked at Arby's, that's what you want, a drooling fool

shitting over the salad bar, was the one who discovered his mother's lifeless body. Oh, isn't that nice? Is there a God, really? Though when she was discovered remains unclear. Initial reports claim the police will contact around 620 p.m. that evening, but the lawsuit indicated that Nguyen found his mother's body shortly after he arrived at 10 a.m. An autopsy later revealed that Lee's cause of death was hypothermia, and an investigation by local police seemed to confirm that the freezer door was defective. Oh, those owners are in deep shit. There you will learn about loss.

I'm Mike Costolo. Loss of humanity. Though foul play is not suspected in the case, the lawsuit still claims that the defendants, Turbo Restaurants LLC, which owns the store, Sun Holdings Inc., Arby's Restaurant Group Inc., Arby's Inc., and Inspire Brands Inc. were responsible for negligence, gross negligence, and wrongful death in the case. Jesus Christ, you got enough companies, shell companies? What's Hunter Biden washing his money through Arby's? Jesus Christ. Anyways, that was sad. Thought I'd open with that. that anyways in the second half of

the show guys i'm going to be talking about why chick-fil-a might get the bud light treatment from its loyal customers and is charles berkeley i'm sick have you seen him lately we'll answer that question it's exclusively on mug club so join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com do that could you sure you can let's move on shall we targets fascism i couldn't think of anything else i'm sick of talking about fags and target and fucking pride clothes hey be pride is something you had nothing to do with are you gonna have parades for left-handed people and fucking blue-eyed people and people with bunions? You fucks. Targets chief diversity and inclusion officer.

That's a D-E-I whatever. There's an E in there somewhere. I get it wrong on purpose. It's like George Bush Sr. Colin. Sodom. Sodom. Sodom. An inclusion officer told employees in a resurface video that they should get on board with the company's woke agenda or leave.

Wow. Yeah, that's what I'd do. The video from June 2021 shows Kiera Fernandez. Oh, a brown woman slash black. I wonder how she votes. Speaking with two, and this is who's running the world, by the way. They're judges.

They're bop, bop, bop. A lot of people want to blame the Jews for that. I don't know. That's what the Klan used to say. My buddy went to those rallies. Yeah, the Jews are going to have all their in, you know, what's in judges and lawyers and they're going to be a heads of CEO. Sorry. Fernandez speaking with two other

DEI officers from 3M in Cargill and the vice president of career and professional development at St. Catherine University. Fernandez comments have since resurfaced on Twitter in the wake of controversy surrounding targets, LGB themed clothing for kids. This is who's in charge of DEI. It's diversity. What the fuck's he eat? Equity. Fucking equity.

Diversity. Fuck. Diversity, equity and inclusion. Diversity, equity, and inclusion. Oh my God, I can't take it anymore. How many times have you heard the word diversity in your life? And it also quite, whatever, let's take a listen to Mrs. Fernandez laying down her fascism. It is important for us to also acknowledge that not everyone is going to believe or be bought into our strategies and our priorities on this topic. She means white people.

They just aren't. See, they're just racist. When we talk about leader accountability and the importance of representation. Pause. Do you see a guy at the fucking meeting? What does that tell you? Fucking eat shit. Yeah, there was no, no, no discrimination going in when they fucking fill these positions. Go ahead. um like just to be really pragmatic and practical then it becomes the same thing okay redundant you don't mess like we may not be able to change your mind shift on appreciating why this is important but you do understand that as a pause pause see we have to change your mind and tell you why it's

important people who are against this pc horse shit. Because you're not bright enough. You're just bigoted. That might as well be Sonny fucking Hostin. Whatever that douchebag. Enough. You know what? You want to hear the rest of her speech? It's right here. I'm for you. Your own work. Your own flesh. Your own flesh. put the pride blankets in the first row. Anyways, she also went on to say, and it's also quite frankly puts a lot on the folks

that don't buy into this, but emphasizes that you still have to do it to be part of this company. She doesn't even realize how, that's illegal, for Christ's sake, if it goes against your religious belief. Anyways, and eventually you'll all see a change in their mindset.

Again, they're going to change your mind. Do you hear the arrogance? The outright fucking, it's over, folks. It is fucking over. Or they may leave. And, you know, that's part of the process, too. In other words, do it my way or the fucking highway racist. This isn't for everyone.

But what has to be for everyone is accountability. And accountability comes with transparency. Just exactly, just PC. She doesn't even ever see psychopaths, anybody who's like a serial killer. They know how to just say the words, like the politically correct. They know how to sound like everybody else in society. They know these buzzwords. That's just fucking psychobabble pouring out of her

fucking brainwashed hole. Target lost $9 billion in market value in a week after conservatives led a boycott against the company. Well, that was a good start. You know, because it's swimsuits that allow children to tuck their penises in to resemble a vagina, as well as chest binders for girls. That's not sick or anything. It's time to go. It's time to fucking put them up. And pride-themed newborn-sized onesies. Target CEO Brian, I take it, and the cornhole Cornell stood by the company's lgbt merchandise despite the backlash

i can't help it this fucking guy anyways for those of you on mug club stick around for the second half of the show everyone else go to nickdapaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Crowder's full show and a whole lot more. And while you're there, get tickets to my live show. You click on the tour button. My next gig is July 14th through 15th, Arlington Cinema Drafthouse. Been there many times in Arlington, Virginia. That's July 14th and 15th. Hope to see you there. It's terrific. guitar solo Bye.