The Nick DiPaolo Show - CNN Almost Tells the Truth | Nick Di Paolo Show #520

Episode Date: April 7, 2021

CNN finally reports on the crime wave in dem-run cities. Biden may resume border wall. Texas decries COVID passports.

Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching the show and I want to encourage you to keep contributing to keep this show and free speech free for everyone whether they want to hear it or not. Click on this video or the link on the screen to make a contribution of any amount. I'll read your name on the show, but more importantly, you'll truly be supporting a great cause without Big Brother taking their cut or limiting the message. Thank you guys so much. Oh yeah. How are you folks? Welcome.

Wednesday already. Excuse me. Wednesday. Wednesday. Got a lot of show for you today. Came in here with it planned as I do. I prepare most of it late at night. And then in the morning I, you know, look for

some stuff, breaking news. And boy, there's a lot of funny shit that happened when I was sleeping. I'll tell you what a country, what a mess. We're in deep poo-poo, but we have the strong, fearless leadership of Joe Biden, Kamala Harris. Can we just, we can't, we can't balkanize as a country because of geography. I don't think it's ever going to, but we have to just separate. There's no, or go at it. It's like two hockey players and they drop the gloves and their nose to nose and the refs get in between them. And then it happens again and the refs get it. Just let them go.

Let them go let them go anyways i don't know how you feel about alex jones i goddamn love him maybe he is bill hicks i don't know some people have that theory which is so stupid to me um i had the uh i was fortunate enough when roger stone filled in for alex he interviewed me on Alex's show. So I'd like to fucking hang out with Alex and drink and shoot pool and kill somebody. I think that's how it would end. Alex Jones went down to the border. I got him screaming at what I call the human drones. This is Price. This is a couple minutes long.

I say we sit back and enjoy. And everything he says here is right about the color of law. And this is how the news should be. This is how One America News, Newsmax, all those so-called right-wing outlets, this is how they should report it with the same verb that Alex Jones delivers his message with. But every goddamn word he's saying is true. You guys might go, oh, he's over the top and drawing attention. What he's saying is absolutely the truth, so I don't give a shit. Roll tape.

Let's get this. Let's go. Get across the street. Hey, you're running criminal activity. Don't you do your color of law with us, funny boy. This is not private property. This is a right-of-way. And you're smuggling children. You don't try

your color of law with me. Do you understand that? This is illegal. This is illegal and you're outside your jurisdiction. You are a fraud. You're a security guard and a liar. Those are kidnapped children and families illegally being smuggled to the United States. Don't you try your security guard stuff with us.

We know you're trying to destroy this country. We're here to stop you. You and your boss Biden that said, rush the border, collapse this country. Our reporters were out here a few days ago. You told them they can't be here Those are power poles. Those are right-of-ways, but the taxpayers pay for we have right to ride horses down this to walk down this Whatever we want right here get her down put these barriers up right here This right here violate state and federal law. I'm staying right here

Like everything else you're doing Everything you do is a goddamn crime. And just because you come and wave your finger at us, it's not going to make you the boss. It's what you call color of law. Just like they're doing smuggling these children in here. This whole thing's a goddamn fraud. Oh boy, is this great.

All of this is taxpayer paid for. All of this is a giant criminal fraud. All of this. Stay out of my space, buddy. You're already over here with your color of law, unlawfully trying to tell us we can't be right over there. And this whole thing is illegal to begin with. You all should be citizen arrested for what you're doing.

Shame on you, aiding and abetting child trafficking. You're destroying this country. You ain't wearing your two masks. You're a slave. All of you are pathetic. Unbelievable, un-American garbage. All these people are signed on to criminal activity with smuggling of children illegally, massively expanding this facility,

part of the United Nations program to collapse our border. Mm-hmm. I fact-checked it. Every word is true. I know lawyers. I called them. It's all true. It's like

Larry the Cable guy when he's constipated. I fucking love it. That's how the news should be reported. Okay? I don't care what you think of him. Fucking love him. Bill Hicks, you put on some weight but uh angrier than ever god they get

right right when we cut it right after that these guys gave him a couple of bottles of water for him and his camera man i and i have to hand it to the border security guys for just standing there because you know why they know they fucking know he's right otherwise they'd fucking arrest them but they can't and there are kids being molested and raped the stories coming out there's insiders in the uh whistleblowers it is a sick world and we're a big part of it at least biden is un-fucking-real. Somebody hire him. I know he's got a zillion people on the internet.

I want to see him at 8 o'clock on Newsmax with his own show. Ah, he's a conspiracy. Yeah, well, the ones I disagreed with him on, he actually retracted. Went a little nuts, Sandy Hook and shit. Although I'm still not convinced those aren't false flags. But again, if you don't like it, lick my tie. Let's stay on the border wall.

A humiliating leak out of the Biden administration. Biden may restart the border wall. What? What? I told you, I think yesterday. But if he doesn't, he's going to get the Mexicans to come on our side and build it. And then they're going to take off if they and they're going to build it. I like balsa wood and banana leaves and Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas.

Boy, my Spanish is good. Told department employees he may restart the border wall construction to plug what he calls gaps in the current barrier. How about gaps between Jen Psaki's fucking skull? I mean ears. Oh, this is priceless. In a conversation with Immigration and Customs Enforcement, that's ICE employees last week, Mr. Mayorkas was asked about his plans for the wall, and he said that while President Biden has canceled the border emergency and halted Pentagon money flowing to the wall, that leaves room to make decisions on finishing some gaps in the wall. What a fucking pompous.

You smug cocksucker. Fuck you. Jason, do me a favor and put the air conditioning on off. Fucking freezing. I got a sore throat. I slept in front of my air conditioner last night. Anyways, yeah, this is beautiful. So anyways, Jen Psaki, beautiful Jen Psaki, was asked, is Doocy for Fox the only one that asks questions that all America wants to know? Anyways, I don't even know if it was him on this one,

but he asked about the border wall and Biden going back on his promise. Quick one about the border. The DHS secretary is reportedly looking to finish some gas in the southern border. How does that fit with President Biden's day one executive order to stop border wall construction? And this is what came out of her mouth. OK, let it roll. Well, wall construction remains paused to the extent permitted by law. So some have already been funded through congressional allocation.

But as agencies develop for a plan, it's paused while agencies are developing a plan for the president on the management of the federal funds. What? I had never heard of more bullshit. And if you're mad, I'm playing over the fuck in the sound drop over there. She said nothing. She I never heard more mumble jumbo. Nobody in that room knew what the fuck she was talking about. nobody in that room knew what the fuck she was talking about she has the most difficult job in the world making Biden's thoughts or whoever's the puppeteer sound logical Mr. Mayorkas according to

notes of the ICE session reviewed by the Washington Times said Customs and Border Protection which oversees the wall has submitted a plan for what it wants to see happen moving forward. It's not a single answer to a single question. Here comes the shit, right? There are different projects that the chief of the border patrol has presented and the acting commissioner of CBP presented to me, the secretary said. The president has communicated quite clearly, oh sure he has, his decision that the emergency that triggered the devotion of Department of Defense funds to the construction of the border wall has ended. But that leaves room to make decisions as the administration, as part of the administration, in particular areas of the wall that need renovation. Do you hear how this is? If you ask somebody to pretend to be a politician spewing shit and bullshit, this doesn't make any sense.

They're killing time. They're filling air with particular projects need to be finished, he said. What the fuck does that even mean? Let me translate. Donald Trump was right in putting up that wall. We exacerbated the problem at the border and now we have to somehow save face and come out here and lie to you saying that oh well i don't even know what we have to say it is whatever it is they have,000 kids in a space that holds 250.

We've seen the pictures and everything. And again, the people bringing them over. Don't you think when we saw that three- and five-year-old girl being dropped off a 14-foot fence in a desert in New Mexico in the middle of the night, shouldn't that be enough for everybody to go, stop, pause? And now people are renting, Mexican parents are renting, not Mexican parents, people sneaking over are renting kids, you know, when you show up with kids, they can't turn you away under Biden, so they rent them, you know, you can reserve them at like fucking Avis and I should say the Alamo.

That's more appropriate. What? I don't know. There's something Hispanic in there. Hey, we're not the only ones having problems with people sneaking over the border.

Check out this shit in a store in, I think it was, where was it? Bangkok? Yeah, check this out. People sneaking into this country too.

up. People sneak it into this country too. Look it's Chuck Schumer. He's looking for the gummy worms. I'm staying right here. Holy moly. How the fuck did that get in there? Look at it. He's right at home. He went up those shelves. He only knocked a few boxes off.

It's like me when I get drunk and go to the supermarket two in the morning you're just making your own sandwich like joe nameth an easy rider whatever the movie was that's a massive asian water uh monitor what the hell kind of name is that terrified shoppers have to go on a king of the monster s grand page who was 7-eleven in bangkok boy 7-eleven everybody loves it you could have given them an orange schlerpy. That's what they live on, that and mammal eggs. The original video tweeted the incident racked up nearly a million views before it was deleted. The frightful clip, which has been reposted to Facebook,

shows that, why was it deleted? Shows the monster, probably complaints, shows the monster uptown scaling a shelf of milk, knocking over cartons, causing onlookers to cry. I just got a kick out. It's like Godzilla when you hear people. I know it's not, but you hear the Asian talk or whatever. You can hear somebody yell, the shelves are ruined. Oh my God. That's all you can yell. Anyways, it was up to eight feet long these things are the world's second largest lizards after the komodo dragon according to everything reptiles i get that every wednesday the clip concludes with

a water monitor resting atop a shelf near the ceiling while bystanders guffaw in the background fortunately despite their massive size yeah i've always heard this the opportunistic predators don't pose a threat to adult humans unless you're at a 7-Eleven trying to get a snack at midnight. Instead of choosing, they feast on everything from eggs to small mammals and carry-on. These things go on planes? Hello. What's a fucking carrion? I don't know.

But that's what they usually eat. Thank you. According to experts at University of Michigan Museum of Zoology. However, a dead infant was found partially eaten by monitors in southern Thailand in May of 20. Yeah, just throw that in as a little detail. Watch out. Planned Parenthood will be ordering a bunch of these nasty motherless nonetheless the scaly shopping spree left social media in a tizzy in a tizzy I

say god that made me laugh I would have shit my pants I think Tucker Carlson has touched on this story a couple times over the last year or so um you know affirmative action and all they're actually wiping some of that Tucker Carlson has touched on this story a couple times over the last year or so. You know, affirmative action and all. They're actually wiping some of that out. That's how unfair it is to people. And I call it lowering the standards out of fairness. And here is an example that's going to put a chill through all you people,

unless you're afraid being called misogynistic and racist. United Airlines, and this is even in Delta, United commits to addressing diversity issues. Now that sentence, shill up my ass. Okay. They have a plan because there's not enough people of color pilots and female pilots. Can I just say, anybody, is that, should we ever, I don't care, it goes for any job, but especially flying a jet plane, should we ever judge people

other than on their merit as far as being able to do the job and not give special breaks? Because that's what it is. I'm not saying there aren't super smart black people or women that can fly a plane, but you don't make that one of the first thing. Can I just explain for you people who cry racism? Most of the pilots are white.

You understand this country was founded a couple hundred years ago by rich white men, actually for rich white people, and it takes a while for society to evolve. Do you get what I'm saying? Like, I shouldn't go to Africa and be surprised most of the kings are fucking black or whatever. Do you get what I'm saying? Right away they go, oh, the reason there aren't people of color are women because it's a sexist, racist society. It's total bullshit. I don't

give a fuck. If the smartest pilots and the best pilots on the planet are all black, I want all black pilots. This should totally be based on merit. Never on immutable characteristics. How are you a fucking born?

You're going to tell me if the Sully Sullenberger was abroad, that would have happened. You ever see them try to parallel park? I don't have a prop. Look, I fly a lot. I've had women pilots and shit. I'm actually getting you. I still get nervous. I'm just being honest here, but I'm not afraid once they're in the air, a two-year-old kid can fly a plane. You put it on autopilot, basically. It's the takeoff and landing. Have you ever seen a woman try to, you know,

fucking get out of a Target parking lot or a Publix? It makes me nervous. Spatial abilities. Once you're off the ground, I don't give a fuck. Just don't let them take off. Have a fucking white old guy doing all that shit. Anyways, here's the program. This is, I'll give you a trigger warning and make it nuts go ahead in our series unifying america we are recognizing people who are trying to right injustices

and bring communities together we like the thought of that in the airline industry listen six percent of all pilots and flight engineers in this country are women Do you know why only 6% of women, we have to go back to this again, and this has nothing to do with racism or misogynistic, whatever, sexism. Women tend to stay away from science and math fields. You know who said that? Larry Sumner, the president of Harvard, and he got booted for it about 15 years ago. Facts are facts.

Women are drawn to shit that a lot of it is not math and science, and guys are. That's just a fucking fact. But this dumb bitch on CBS and the people that run it, do you see what they're doing? They continue to feed this fucking, dumb bitch on CBS and the people that run it. Do you see what they're doing?

They continue to feed this fucking, it's a white, you know, white hierarchy or whatever the fuck. Just think for a second. Go ahead. Hispanic or Latino. So first on CBS this morning, we like when we can say that, I'm gonna say it again. First on CBS this morning,

United Airlines is the only major US airline to own own a flight school it's announcing its new plan to train 5 000 pilots by 2030 and at least half of them will be women or people of color arrow barnett that's great yeah and and and is this going to be like the military we lower the standards as far as doing push-ups and sit-ups and even mental tests because uh i'll be taking fucking greyhound okay god damn it enough is enough i have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane what an actor okay let the dummy talk. That's the story. Two decades ago, near runways like these, a Texas girl was discovering her love of aviation. My grandmother would take my sisters and I to the airport.

Pause. I don't like the way she's talking already. To the airport. To the airport. I want to hear perfect white English. I want to hear the Queen's English coming out of you if you're going to fly me somewhere. Go ahead. Airplanes take off and land. A six-year-old, Tashiana Smith, was hooked. We could actually smell that jet fuel for a couple of days. They could smell it.

And I still love that smell today. Pause. That's what attracted her to being a pilot. The smell of the gasoline. So when she's not flying you from Orlando to Denver, she'll be sniffing nail polish in her bedroom. Hi, I'm a... Do you understand it's got nothing to do with race?

And I'm happy for her. I have... Again, if the qualifications, the standards aren't lowered, and she meets them all, I got no problem with it. I'm lying. Go ahead. You've been addicted to jet fuel since you were a kid. Yes, sir. 24-year-old Smith is on a lifelong quest to become a commercial airline pilot.

An expensive ambition. Flight training costs an average of $100,000. Pause. Yeah, that's how we keep the dummies out. Because you've got to be making at least a half mil to be interested in flying and playing, in my opinion, which means you have a great job, which means you're probably brighter than the average. Nothing to do with racism, okay? And again, go ahead. Over the years, Smith earned several scholarships through non-profit

organizations. She clearly remembers the first time an instructor handed over the controls. Once I started turning left and right, I was like, this is what I'm going to do. She's following in the flight path of people like Marianne Schaefer, a 32-year veteran in the industry who is United Airlines' chief pilot. I believe it's related to just the thrill of taking off and controlling the airplane and landing. It's not enough to control your husbands or boyfriends. Go ahead. It really is just a feeling of empowerment.

That's great. But both Smith and Schaefer say they'd like to see more female representation in the flight deck. Only 7% of United Airlines pilots are women, one of the highest percentages in the industry. And 13% of its pilots are people of color. They simply don't have the access or the opportunity. They don't have the opportunities? Really? If they have the grades and whatever they're being turned down? I want to see a specific example of that. Is this frightening

anybody? Because you know damn well I'm right. They're going to lower the fucking math score or whatever. Yuck. Look at this. Another pinheaded progressive. Go ahead. In an interview with CBS News, United CEO Scott Kirby is announcing a new effort to bring balance to the flight deck. We're excited at United to be announcing the United Aviate Academy to address the structural issues with the makeup of our pilots. The academy aims to enroll 5,000 new pilots by decade's end with a benchmark that at least half will be women or minorities. Scholarships can be applied for separately. If you want to be a pilot, you either need to be in the military and get pilot training, or you've got to have the resources.

What we're really doing is opening ourselves up a huge pool of untapped talent and give them opportunities to create those kind of wonderful careers. Smith, an aviate program applicant, recently toured the flight deck of the 737-800 with Captain Schaefer. I'm so enthusiastic when I see young people coming into the business and sharing some of the love of flying that I've had all along the way. When I see other female pilots like Captain Schaefer, it makes me excited because it allows me to know and see that one day I can become a professional pilot. And Smith wants to make sure that younger women see her as an example of what's possible.

Stay dedicated. No matter how many no's you get, there's always that one yes. Fuel for young girls' aviation dreams. To CBS This Morning. Get rid of it. I'm getting queasy. What a, boy's that's news no you guys have the balls to make fun of fox or one american did you hear anybody that maybe an opposing view why it might be a bad idea or whatever this is just this is just pure feminist you know a nice sweet piece, a love letter to feminism. And, you know, why did she get scholarships from nonprofit places, too? Why not?

Why not Columbia? I'd feel much better than the shelter for women in fucking Nigeria. Anyways, why? What does that matter, Nick? It matters. I want a crusty old. I want them all to look like Sully Sullenburgers, even the gay women pilots, which most of the flight attendants do. I'm not the only one to

feel this way, by the way. I'm going to show you a comedian who I absolutely love. He's been around a long time. AJ Jamal had a little bit just about this. Oh man, I was on a 747 flying back from Cleveland. 747 flight, man. Black pilot got on the plane, man. I felt, I was on a 747 flying back from Cleveland. 747 flight, man. Black pilot got on the plane, man. I felt, I just felt proud. I looked at the white people and I was like,

yeah, yeah. Brother walked into the cockpit. I was like, yeah, brother flying the plane. Then another black guy walked on. I said,

wait man, I don't need to be that proud. I don't need to be that proud. Somebody white got to help fly. Somebody white got to help him. And I'm proud, but we don't need two black people on a plane this big, baby. A magic mountain ride, but not a 747. All right.

Where did that joke come from? And why did it get a laugh? Oh, because it was sort of true. Where did that joke come from? And why did it get a laugh? Oh, because it was sort of true. I saw him, the other piece I have him doing, that was in front of an all-black audience, and it was getting a bigger laugh. That's just people being honest and shit.

I'm not against it, obviously. I'm just saying, please promise me that the women and minorities have to meet the same standards that a white guy does. That's all. Because it's worked pretty good, hasn't it? You know, we have the safest record of any country ever on the planet as far as aviation goes. But, you know, we're still a little bigoted, I guess. Yay, yay, yay.

I don't want to hear Monique on the fucking PA system. Tell you something more shocking than that story. CNN accidentally told the truth, I guess. This is the headline I read. CNN admits, admits crime wave highlights, violence and Democrat run cities. I don't think they came out and said it. They just did the piece and you had to connect the dots. I think I don't want CNN, but.

This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. CNN admits a crime wave, which is evident in 2020, was evident, I should say, is continuing in 2021 in Democrat-run cities like Chicago, L.A., New York, and others, of course. Chicago, L.A., New York, and others, of course. According to CNN, Chicago homicides are up 33% in the first three months of the year compared to 2020. Homicides in New York City were jumped by nearly 14% through March 28th of this year. And L.A. homicides rose almost 36% through March 30th of 2021. Again, it's socioeconomics, that's why. Moreover, the death and mayhem currently afoot

in Chicago, New York, and LA comes on the heels of a 2020 in which all three cities saw significant increases in homicides over 2019. For example, on December 29th of 2020, New York Magazine noted the city had witnessed 447 homicides to that point in 2020. That was a 41% increase over 2019. 41% increase over 2019. And the LA Daily News noted LA hit 297 homicides by November 20th of 2020, up from 237 by that date in 2019. On November 23rd, 2020, Chicago Sun-Times pointed out that the city had seen a 53% increase in shooting and murders this year compared to the same period in 2019. See, that's evidence that even CNN doesn't know how to cover up. I'm sure they did their best.

CNN indicates that the killing continues even now. Well, I'm glad you came around. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? Welcome to the planet truth, stupid. Sure, Don Lemon's at home right now with his life partner trying to rewrite this. I'm running out of breath. I better lay off the... We're just so divided.

We're so divided everywhere. I did not have sex with that Cub Scout. I do a good Clinton now that I have throat polyps. Boy, the propaganda. You notice all the commercials? Not everybody's wearing a mask and shit. Baseball games, they have to zoom in on the man. It's just fucking.

And you people have fallen for it. Not you people. Not my people. Texas poo-poos passports, vaccine passports. The state of Texas has thrown down against COVID passports a mobile form of vaccine tracking that has been picked up in New York and has been discussed within the Biden administration. On Tuesday, Texas Governor Greg Abbott issued an executive order

banning them from the Lone Star State. He says everyday Texans return to normalcy as more people get the COVID vaccine. In fact, this week, Texas will surpass 13 million doses administered. Those shots help slow the spread of COVID, reduce hospitalizations, and reduce fatalities. But as I've said all along, these vaccines are always voluntary and never forced on the Republican. Be Republican explained. Never forced on the Republican. Government should not require any Texan to show proof of vaccination and reveal private health information just to go about their daily lives. We will continue to vaccinate more Texans and protect public health. And we will do so without treading on Texans personal freedoms.

Good for you, sweetie. Good. Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. Do you notice anything? How DeSantis has the most efficient vaccine rollout and everybody's moving to Florida. Texas is doing the right thing by its... You notice a little, we're not reporting on Northeastern states.

Abbott also forbid any public or private entity that receives government funding, such as loans, grants, and contracts from withholding service or entry to Texans who do not have proof that they received inoculation. The Federalist noted, this is critical. State executives are weaponizing businesses to infringe on rights that the state is bound not to cross due to informed consent laws and human rights laws, such as the Nuremberg Code that goes back to post-World War II. And for you, do eigenarbeit, do eigenfleisch, eigenentrustheit. What he was saying is you need a passport, you Jews. No consumer may be denied entry to a facility financed in whole or in part by public funds for failure to provide documentation

regarding the consumer's vaccination status for any COVID-19 vaccine, the Texas order states. On Monday, a second GOP governor joined with Florida's Ron DeSantis in opposition to so-called COVID passports that prove that someone has been vaccinated. Mississippi Governor Tate Reeves said, I don't think it's necessary and I don't think it's a good thing to do in America. Reeves told Jake Tapper on CNN State of the Union, Jake Tapper began to cry like a baby. You are correct, sir.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis on Friday signed an executive order to forbid COVID passports in the state of Florida. The governor has also called on the Republican-led legislation to push forth a measure addressing vaccine passports. That's how democracy works. See, each state is supposed to be a little Petri dish. It's Colin Quinn calling me. He doesn't understand

that I do this show. I've been telling him for years, years, that one to two, I do my show, which tells me he probably doesn't watch it either. I'm really getting frustrated with my friend. Hello? Yeah, you're on the air. I'm right in the middle of my show. I mean, I just lectured you

and I said, I tell this guy for 10 years now that I do my show one and two. you and I said, I tell this guy for 10 years now that I do my show one and two. No, he goes, yeah. He goes, you do it from five to six. I get it. Let me call you in about 20 minutes. Oh, I love you. Take it easy. Hey, we got a new thing. Collins. Why don't we do that? I can put them on speakerphone and shit. Let's make up a number, 1-800-BIG-DICK. Because it ain't true. Hey, get this, folks. So if Biden administration is catching shit and, oh, it's explaining how democracies work.

Each state is supposed to be a Petri dish, you know? You know who said that? Fauci. No, I have no idea. Biden administration sued. Attorney General from Texas and Louisiana on Tuesday took Biden administration to court, alleging that it is refusing to take custody of illegal immigrants convicted of serious crimes. This is basically what Alex Jones is talking about.

After the administration set rules narrowing its immigration enforcement priorities. So they're getting, they're going to bring the, bring them to court. The states are seeking to block two Department of Homeland Security memorandums issued early in the administration that established interim enforcement priorities, whatever that is. You know, when you have an interim coach, it's between a new coach and a, which narrowed immigrant, here's the problem, which narrowed immigration enforcement to only three categories. Individuals who have been engaged in or suspected of terrorism or espionage, one. Two, immigrants who crossed into the United States illegally on or after November 1st, that's two.

And individuals convicted of an aggravated felony. See, the problem is there's a lot more categories that it doesn't touch intentionally. These filthy. The attorney generals argue that the memoranda failed to prioritize detention of criminal aliens with final orders of removal of criminal aliens convicted of drug offenses or criminal aliens convicted of crimes of moral turpitude. Okay. Hey, little boy, you want some candy?

Those type of guys. Never have Mexican candies. Very good. I might even get into the van if they offer me an cho-cho-cho. The result of implementing the two memoranda, the lawsuit argues, has led to the United States immigration. Just call it ICE. Quit typing it out.

Rescinding detainer requests. So the ICE's rescinding detainer requests related to incarcerated criminal aliens, not issuing detainer requests for illegal aliens subject to mandatory removal, and the release of such individuals from federal detention facilities in Louisiana and Texas. Let me just translate that. The Biden administration is letting child molesters, fucking pedophiles, whoever else, drug deal, basically letting them loose on you, the American public. That's how much they give a fuck about you. They are disgusting. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. As a consequence, dangerous criminal

aliens are being released into local communities. The lawsuit argues the states say the refusal to detain criminal aliens who have committed drug offenses of crimes of moral turpitude violates federal law. That's again, that's what Alex Jones was saying. Basically, the attorney general said that their states have taken measures to keep some of the criminal aliens in custody in response to the situation at the expense of state taxpayers. So Biden's administration is costing us taxpayers dollars out of our pockets because they're not enforcing the fucking federal laws. Think about that. And he has the balls to look in the camera and go,

we're going to reunite. Come on, man, we'll make it stronger. These are American value, Chinese value, American, Chinese, boneless pork. President Biden's outright refusal to enforce the law is exacerbating an unprecedented border crisis by failing to take custody of criminal aliens and giving no explanations for this reckless policy change. The Biden administration is demonstrating a blatant disregard for Texans in American safety, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton said. American Safety Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton said.

So can you imagine? Can you imagine our president just turning his nose up? You know, basically the Constitution. You ADM, pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. dickhead asshole. One-time contributions. I want to thank people who contribute to the show at thecomicsgym.com, at nickdip.com,

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Boy, Jen Psaki has the toughest job in the, people say she's horrible. I think she's good at it, actually. I think she, because she's dealing with a, she's dealing with policies that the average American can't even relate to. And well, what she's good at, she's great at lying, but doing it calmly. I'll give her that much.

I'd love to sit down there and go, you don't actually believe the shit, right, that your boss is doing, right? You don't fucking believe in the shit you say. Psaki is lying for Joe. Hacky, sacky. White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki on Tuesday ruled out the Biden administration playing any role in vaccine passport system as Republican governors in particular bark at the concept like the aforementioned ones we just did.

But she stands up there and just says shit. She says we got a clip of her saying it. Go ahead. Let her roll. Well, let me be very clear on this. I know there's been lots of questions. The government is not now, nor will we be supporting a system that requires Americans to carry a credential.

There will be no federal vaccinations database and no federal mandate requiring everyone to obtain a single vaccination credential. As these tools are being considered by the private and nonprofit sectors, our interest is very simple, from the federal government, which is Americans. Private non-profit sectors? Is that what New York state government's considered? What does that mean? Go ahead. That's it? Well, to her, I say this.

You get that little red beaver right up there and funny. I don't think it's crazy at all. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. The White House has been clear that it would defer to private companies that if they wanted to implement some type of vaccine passport system, which individuals would have to provide proof that they received one of the coronavirus. The World Health Organization on Tuesday cautioned. oh, we're still listening to the Chinese? They cautioned on, yeah, I was going to do a poodle with white sauce. The World Health Organization on Tuesday cautioned that the use of

vaccine passports may not be an effective way to reopen global travel. That doesn't mean they're not thinking of other ways. Citing the lack of vaccinations in certain pockets of the world. Well, there's a bunch of other reasons other than that one, you fucking Nazis. Talk of vaccine passports has sparked pushback among conservatives who have raised concerns about potential government overreach that would discriminate against Americans of vaccine passports has sparked pushback among conservatives who have raised concerns about

potential government overreach that would discriminate against Americans who opt not to get vaccinated and infringe on their privacy right. That will be me. I'm reading too many stories about people. It seems like you're playing Russian roulette. Most majority people don't, you know, they feel fine after. Then you hear about, you know, a 25-year-old dropped dead after having these shots. Well, doing Pilates or whatever the fuck. I don't know. I feel good. I feel good.

So I don't know. I don't want the shot personally. But something tells me, as a comedian who's going to have to fly, that, you know why why wouldn't i believe the delta and united who are buying into this pc concept of a white racist nation why the fuck would they not want another way to steal my personal information do you know who was a great president i'm going way way back 2016 donald trump maybe the best ever i said it I fucking said it yeah but he was an asshole

I don't give a shit Vince Lombardi was an asshole great leader MacArthur asshole great leader Hitler what that's a very presidential

he should have used that you know that's at mar-a-lago right now he made a made an oval office to make it feel like he's still in september 2020 president trump is right is the headline uh when president trump was still in office and had successfully accomplished operation warp speed he claimed that every American will be able to get a coronavirus vaccine by April 2021. Remember him saying that? I am your voice. You were. This led to a wave of ridicule targeted at Trump and accusations, excuse me, and accusations that he was lying and had no idea what he was talking about, as shown in a couple of these screenshots. Look at this, of Washington Post. Trump says, without evidence, every American

will get coronavirus. Trump says, without evidence, every American. Okay, so Washington Post, wrong again. Trump, right. Here's another one somebody put up. Oh, at New York Giants at least it's from a winning organization I said um seriously this is Toby uh Dicus let's call him Dickus seriously it'd be better to start reporting the stupid shit this guy says interview the experts and then in the last line of the article say, but Trump without a science background or evidence of any kind disagrees and then leave it at that. Yeah, well, he was right, Toby Dickus. And I'm sure all the news channels you watch like CNN, they all have medical degrees. Everything that you sit and fucking nod at, like the fucking seal that you are.

Today, Joe Biden announced that every American will be able to get vaccinated by April 19th. He should have added, thanks to my predecessor, who's six times the man I'll ever be, but he didn't. Of course, he's being praised for his excellent response to COVID, despite the fact that Trump paved the way for everything he's claiming as his own. He's just a politician. praise for his excellent response to COVID, despite the fact that Trump paved the way for everything he's claiming as his own. He's just a politician. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know

that? The New York Post reports President Biden will reportedly announce Tuesday that every adult in the U.S. will be allowed to receive a COVID-19 vaccine by April 19th, shaving about two weeks off his May 1st deadline for all states to make all adults eligible. The president will make the announcement at the White House in a diaper, sitting in a kiddie pool, eating green pudding. Make the announcement at the White House after a visit to a vaccination site in Alexandria.

We call it a Midas muffler. They brought him to Virginia. They brought him to Alex. That's as far as he can go. He's wiped out for the next week. You can walk to Alexandria, Virginia from these. I've done gigs there. You can see the goddamn fucking Oval Office from the Comedy Club stage, for the love of God.

That's as far as he goes. They don't tell him. They tell him, look, we're going for a walk. And he's like, what are we doing? Nothing. What's going on right now? Get in the van. Shut up. Put on a Disney film on the video for him.

Last week, Biden announced that 90% of adults would be eligible to get the jab by April 19th, as well as have an inoculation site within five miles of where they live. He's trying to take credit for it. And the fucking media just goes along with it. You fucking pussies. Why do you admit it? He's eating Trump's dust. COVID 300 is the headline. Why did I put that? Well, you'll find out right now. Another guy dies of COVID in the Philippines, but it's very odd. I'm sure it'll go down as a COVID-related death. A Philippines man allegedly died, get this, when he was forced to do 300 squats as punishment for breaking a COVID-19 curfew. Who's the president? Jack LaLanne?

COVID-19 curfew rule. Who's the president? Jack LaLanne? That's a dumb reference. Anybody from this century, Nick? I can't think. They made him do 300 squads for breaking a COVID-19 curfew rule. Darren Manaug,

Peña Redondo, 28, was out after 6 p.m. April 1st buying drinking water in his city of General Trias Cavite when he was nabbed by village guards, Rappler report. Oh, Rappler, I get that one too. The Cavite province currently has a strict curfew in place from 6 p.m. to 5 a.m. per inquire.net. Perinodondo, along with another curfew violator, were brought to a shopping plaza and

forced to perform pumping exercises. I did that this morning. Similar to squats and his partner, he had a partner, Reikland Belt. Oh, that's who's reporting this, telling him. Can you do squat? I really love our country the more I read about other countries. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. They were told to do pumping exercises 100 times, she said.

The enforcers also said that if they were not in sync, they would repeat it. He also told me he stumbled while doing the exercises. Can you imagine making people do this? No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. That whole day he struggled to walk. He was just crawling on the floor just to get up. Balls, his wife or girlfriend said. But I did not take that seriously because

he said his knees and thighs were aching as was his body. So you didn't take it serious. This is his girlfriend or wife wife, laughing at him. Look at this video. This is Girono. Fucking. Look at his fucking girlfriend laughing. I hope he's chuckling when he doesn't move the next morning. This is how I have to get up now after watching three hours of television that's jason doing the voice. Pretty good, Jason.

Peña Redondo suffered a seizure later in the evening, and despite being briefly revived, he passed away at around 10 p.m. Do you fucking... He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. Following Peña Redondo's death is an investigation underway. General and Trias Mayor Anthony Ferrer confirmed in a Facebook post, and he said, the mayor, in connection with the unexpected passing of Mr. Darren Minogue, Peña Dondo, we immediately order the chief of our police to conduct a fair investigation about the incident of arrest and the seemingly torturing of him, Ferau wrote, the city's police chief,

Lieutenant Colonel Marlo Nilo Solero, is denying Peña Dondo's death was due to excessive exercise as punishment. He insisted curfew violators are met with reason and not violence. Okay, whatever. I'm gonna tell you, you lying cocksucker! What an odd story, huh?

Anyways, that is it, ladies and gentlemen, for, what's today? Wednesday. I cannot believe I'm gonna say this again. Tomorrow's the last day. Anyways, don't forget thecomicsgym.com. That is the permanent home of this show. Don't forget nickdip.com. If you want to check out my tour dates, I'll be coming to a time maybe near you.

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