The Nick DiPaolo Show - CNN's Cuomo No-mo | Nick Di Paolo Show #635

Episode Date: December 6, 2021

Bob Dole dies. Cuomo out at CNN. AOC doesn't live in reality. Mentally Ill-han. Fake vax cards. SF restaurant turns away cops.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television or from the White House, now more than ever our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed. And that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show. And that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning,

honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. We'll be right back. Yeah, how are you folks? Monday. I'm not going to say happy Monday. Everybody says that.

It makes me sick. Happy Thursday. Happy Tuesday. Living on the same planet as me? Miserable Monday, everybody. How's it going? Good to be with you. Big show today, ladies and gentlemen, and you come to me for the truth. We know that. You're gonna eat lightning and you're gonna crop thunder. The fuck's that got to do with anything? That's what I said to my wife before I made a tiramisu. Which I did.

Made it for you, guy. Made it again. It's good to inhale two of those, isn't it, before you go to bed? Two giant pieces. Fucking have the body of Ethel Mertz. What? I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God.

He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. Beneath him be. Selasia's 17th century. Counselor. Anyways, good weekend. A lot of football. Holy, if you're a college football fan, this was the weekend. I was strapped into my recliner like I was paralyzed. Oh, my goodness gracious, what a lazy pig, man. I mean, I can, noontime to midnight, I'm not moving. It's sad.

Other than to eat, I did work out twice. What did that do? Oh, it makes me break out in some type of eczema now. That's how you know you're dying. Your immune system. I never had a rash or any of that shit in my life. Now after I work out, because I heat up my body, I get these round...

It's not ringworm, because I went to two different doctors. It's eczema. It's just... I put this shit on, it's gone in a day. But it's just... It almost makes me, I don't want to work out. Fucking back looks like I have some type of herpetic lesions. Jesus Christ, I look like a fat fuck. Anyways, how you guys doing? I'm just reading the headlines, New York Post. I was going to read it. It's too depressing.

Black kid stabs a kid, a guy, a brilliant student from Italy who he studied all over the place, Germany, blah, blah, blah, blah. I forget even what he's studying, but just brilliant mind, known in Italy, and comes over here to study at NYU. He's just like walking home, and a black kid comes up, stabs him from behind in the back, kills him. And in the stomach, stabbed another Italian tourist. Before that, threatened somebody, a couple with a knife.

You know, guy's life is fucking snuffed up. Then I read further down, guy was sitting in a park bench and two kids come up, try to rob him. They didn't mention the race, although it was, you know, uptown. Ends up getting shot to death. Dallas just tells me there's a hit and run last night here in Savannah. I don't want to go too far, but I'm starting to think. You mentioned two incidents with cars. Waukesha copycats. I swear to fucking God. White people, you're in a race war. I don't think you know it. I don't even know what color the victim was sitting on the park bench. But whatever. All I know is they didn't say what the suspects were in Comby.

Fucking had it, man. I don't know what's going on in the world. And twats like AOC and Ilhan, they just look on, fucking Pelosi, going, yes, George Soros, this is good, we're causing mayhem. Murder through the roof. You guys know all this. Anyways, I just thought I'd open with a light shit. All right, let's get on with it, shall we? Yes. In the N-word segment today,

just one day before the Tuesday mass shooting, an Oxford High School counselor and another staff member had talked to Ethan Crumbly, 15, by now you know who this is, after he was spotted shopping for bullets on his phone. Talked to him about what? The weather? Cafeteria food?

Best type of ammunition to use in a mass shooting? What the fuck did you talk to him about? This kid sent out more red flags than a Chinese New Year's parade. This kid sent up more red flags than a Chinese New Year's parade. The morning of the shooting, school officials talked to his parents about drawings Ethan made that were about murder and suicide. The child was pulled out of class and sent to a guidance counselor office. Too late for that. He told them the drawings were from a video game he was designing. or from a video game he was designing. At no time did the counselors believe

the student might harm others based on his behavior, responses, and demeanor, which appeared calm. Based on his behavior? I guess doodling dead people, shopping for bullets on your phone during an English class, and writing about suicide

is just typical behavior for a mentally stable teenager? Calm demeanor? Please point to me one similar case where the shooter wasn't described as quiet, introverted, even calm during the actual shootings. I might have bought these arguments 30 years ago before school shootings became as popular as dick pics or TikTok amongst high schoolers. But in 2021, I mean, in what some could argue is an overly precarious society nowadays when it comes to guns, where kids have literally been suspended for making a gun gesture with their fingers.

One student was suspended for crudely shaping his breakfast pastry into a gun shape. I would think shopping for bullets during class and drawing dead people would be seen as way more worthy of suspension than a Pop-Tart Glock, the weapon of choice for school shooters who have a sweet tooth. The day of the shooting, his parents went to the school and were told to take their son home, and they flatly refused and left. By the way, these are the same idiots who had just bought the gun and left it loaded in an unlocked empty drawer at home. With parents like this, I mean, what a surprise. They raised a sociopath. You can't blame it all on the adults, but

on the other hand, if you're a school counselor, you can't expect these psycho shooters to walk into school the day before they snap with a sign taped to their chest that says, I'm going to kill you all tomorrow. Best call in sick scumbags. Anybody can spot the obvious signs, you know, like sick murder drawings and shopping for wad cutters during algebra. At least they used to be able to spot those. And that is the N-word for today. All right. More happy news.

Jesus, what a morbid weekend. Bob Dole. Bob Dole. Who I liked. I really liked. This is when I first started politics, following politics. Bob Dole, Bob Dole, who I liked. I really liked. This is when I first started politics, following politics. And funny dude, real hero, World War II hero,

actually shot up by Nazi machine guns trying to save another guy. You ever read somebody's biography like this guy and go, oh, my God, I've wasted. I have done, not you, Dallas has done his part. I have done El Shido in my life. It is unbelievable what some guys, same with Bush Sr., even JFK. I mean, it's amazing. But those people are gone now, you know. Those are the only people who should be allowed to run the fucking country. Bob Dole, a decorated veteran who overcame near-fatal wounds in World War II to become a respected senator, three-time Republican presidential candidate. He was like the Buffalo Bills of the running for election.

Died on Sunday. Guy was 98 years old. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. 98? Not bad. It is with heavy hearts we announce that Senator Robert Dole died early this morning in his sleep. Ah, that's the way you should go.

What's that old joke? What's that old joke? My uncle died in his sleep, which is good for him, but bad for the 40 people on the bus he was driving. That's an oldie, but it's still a goodie. I don't know if that's a good way to go or not. You go to bed, right, thinking you're going to wake up.

That's kind of creepy, and you don't know you're gone. I guess you never know. Well, you do know if you get hit by a bus and you're bleeding out. I don't know. Forget I said anything. Anyways, he went to bed peacefully, despite the reporting I'm doing here. At his death at age 98, he served the United States of America faithfully for 79 years. More information coming soon, Elizabeth Dole Foundation announced on Twitter. Dole, who was born in Russell,

Kansas on July 22nd, 1923, left public service after his loss to Bill Clinton in November of 96, but remained active, appearing on television, serving on several boards and councils, practicing law and supporting Republican candidates. During an appearance on Letterman late night, right after he had lost to Clinton, Dole tried to laugh off his defeat, asked by Letterman what he'd been doing lately. Dole deadpanned, apparently not enough. That's right, Hillary, you fat bitch, laugh it up. In one of his final public appearances,

I don't know if you guys saw this, because we don't have it, but Dole rose from his wheelchair. They had to pick him up out of his wheelchair to salute former George H.W. Bush in December of 2018 as he paid his respects to the fellow World War II vet and former political rival

as the 41st president lay in state in the Capitol Rotunda. Imagine he gets up out of his wheelchair to do that. I didn't get off the couch to fucking help my wife take out the trash. There's a difference in character. As a 21-year-old platoon leader, Dole was trying to pull a radio man from the line of fire when he was struck in the upper back and right arm. It took three years of treatment and countless setbacks before he was able to recover from the wounds. They were interviewing him about that and he was in the hospital, he said, for 10 months. He goes, I could have left after about seven, but the nurses were very pretty. Although he lost the use of his right arm

and most of the feeling in his left, Dole, who received two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star with a V for Valor for his actions, always carried a pen in his right hand to discourage people from trying to shake hands with him, which I thought was clever. It's more than most people think of. Experiencing a disability yourself, you can almost walk around with a blindfold and pick out the other people with disabilities. Having a disability changes your whole life, not just your attitude, he said in an interview with Disability Magazine. Oh, I get that. I read that from cover to cover. Anytime I turn an ankle, I'm blocked up and I

can't move my butt. Tough old bird, man. Despite being beaten by Bush for the GOP nomination in 1980, Dole, who was a Senate majority leader at the time, strongly promoted his former rival's agenda and helped assure passage of the Americans with Disability Act. And good, just a real man's man, you know? He was the best guy around. He was funny. We have a clip of, as you know? He was the best guy around. He was funny.

We have a clip of, as you know, this makes me really sad because Norm Macdonald used to imitate him on SNL all the time. And now you watch it and they're both gone. Imagine that. I mean, it's kind of weird. But here's a quick clip on SNL.

It was pretty funny. There's no chance of you running for president again? No, I don't think so. Oh, really? Because, you know, it would be good for me. Kind of help you keep you on the front pages, you know? Believe me, Norm, running for president doesn't always keep you on the front pages

unless you, of course, take a dive off a podium. Yeah, that did get a lot of coverage, didn't it? Yeah, thanks for noticing here on Saturday Night Live. I appreciate it. I don't write a lot of this stuff. I do, yeah. See that? Norm throws that in there.

Because he's hilarious. Anyways, rest in peace, Bob. Thanks for everything you did for slobs like myself. Now let's talk about somebody who has as little character as Bob Dole. Fredo.

As you may or may not know, Chris Cuomo, who we reported on last week, was in some hot water for helping squash some of the stuff that his brother did. He used connections in the media to kind of manipulate the story. Way more than he admitted to. And guess what? Fredo was canned.

You're out of the family, Fredo. You're out. You're out of the family, Fredo. You're out. You're not a brother to me. You're not an anchorman. You're not a candlestick maker. You're not a soccer player. You're nothing. No.

When you show up at CNN, I want to know 24 hours in advance. Mikey! Mikey! Anyways. Mikey! Anyways, in the wake of public sexual harassment allegations against former Governor Andrew Cuomo, Chris Cuomo looked directly into the camera, told viewers of Cuomo Prime Time, I have always cared deeply about these issues, meaning women's issues. Profoundly so.

I just want to tell you that. I mean, did anybody believe it then? Did you? Do you know what guys are like? Especially Italian mooks. Subsequently, the Attorney General released jaw-dropping documentary evidence demonstrating that Chris Cuomo played an active role in attempting to smear women whom the Attorney General concluded had made serious

allegations of sexual harassment and sexual misconduct against the governor, Chris's brother. You fucking hypocrite. Hearing the hypocrisy of Chris Cuomo on air, on air words and disgusted by his efforts to try to discredit these women, my client retained counsel to report his serious sexual misconduct against her. To CNN, said this he-she. This is the lawyer of the woman who's bringing in actual sexual allegation charges against Chris Cuomo. She worked at ABC.

He grabbed her ass with some shit. And this man, oh my God, what happened? Poor thing. But why are they in such, ah, God, Nick, just shut it. Okay. I'm right here. Hello? I'm right here for you. What happened? Jesus Christ, who does he look like? Every offensive coordinator in the SEC. Come on, boy, run that sweep. Power sweep, boy. On Wednesday, December 1st, 2021, I contacted CNN, this is her talking to the lawyer, to report my client's allegations of misconduct against Chris Cuomo.

So she called and told him, you know, she called the network directly and said, hey. Is this moron number one? Yeah, that's her voice. Put moron number two on the phone. It's a little deeper than that. By Friday, I was in discussions with CNN about providing documentary evidence

of my client's allegations and making my client available for an interview with CNN's outside counsel. Last night, CNN acted promptly on my client's complaint and fired Mr. Cuomo. I bet you she's happy about that. All right, get up! Yeah! Here's a clip of a few of the people at CNN, Brian Stelter, big fat girl, who pretended he was a big Chris Cuomo fan, but he was angling for his job, the word says. But here's a clip of them discussing what happened.

He was put on the bench indefinitely while management conducted a review. while management conducted a review. What we didn't know until tonight, Jim, is that an outside law firm also came in and that the law firm went through the thousands of pages of text messages and sworn testimony that was released back on Monday. So there was clearly something in those documents that was found to be a serious breach

of standards and practices. Well, there you go. So, Stelta, all of them. This is, it's good. You know Stelter, all of them. This is, it's good. You know what? Finally, CNN's getting exposed a little bit.

It doesn't matter, though, because people who watch CNN, it's a cult, it's a religion. They know it's propaganda. They wouldn't even think of looking at anything else. So they don't give a shit

if Cuomo's there, if you hire fucking Gallagher 2 to sit in. They don't care. As long as you're preaching lies. That, by the way, CNN, I mentioned this last week, the station exists to really promote their website, which makes a ton of money. They drum up racial stories and have us at each other's throats, which sells, and nobody watches CNN, you know. So it so you know it's sort of what they use it to build content for their webs then they'll take little snippets

of what they talk about on the news people yelling at each other and spread their propaganda and some of you fucking assholes not you my people still buying that so anyways alrighty then enough Enough of that, but, uh, Brian Stelter, wasn't he terrific? The chubby guy? Y'all fat fuck, look at ya. He's got a wife. I find that hard to believe. I suck cock, and I love it.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. He's got a wife. Yeah, so did Merv Griffin. So did, uh, who were the famous movie stars? Not Clark Gable. The other one, there's a big girl. I don't know.

Back in the day. All the guys that were studs, like in the 50s. Cary Grant, was it? Was it Cary? No. All right. Maybe I'm not. You sure?

Because it's exactly what I said when my wife was reading a book about it. Believe me. That fucking anyways. My theory on those guys is they get so many women, they get bored. They started sucking dick. I hope that doesn't happen to me. Because I'll tell you, I can't even go to the mall without getting blown behind the fountain. Looking like this fucking chubby old man.

Anyways. Excuse me. Breaking news. AOC is an asshole. That's the headline. New York Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was slammed by Republicans and business leaders following an interview where she cast doubt

on whether rampant smash and grabs are actually occurring. To you, I say, shut your fucking mouth! Shut the fuck up, you cunt! That's actually a good picture of the psycho. How is she denying? Unbelievable. It's creeping me out where we are. Wait till I get the Ron Klain story.

Excuse me. I will quit smoking. I'm out of it. A lot of these allegations, this is her talking, by the way, with somebody up there. A lot of these allegations of organized retail theft are not actually panning out. What the fuck does that mean? Ocasio-Cortez said in an interview with the Washington Times last week. I believe it's a Walgreens in California cited it, but the data didn't back it up, she added. What in God's name are you fucking talking about?

What are you, what did they do to you at BU? talking about. What are you, what did they do to you at BU? Never use a picture of that flattering of her ever again. Find the dumbest one you can. Seriously, I hate these people. The comments sparked pushback from retail leaders and Republican lawmakers, including from Walgreens. Organized retail crime is one of the top challenges facing the company, Walgreens told the Washington Times, adding that the crime has evolved beyond shoplifting and petty theft to the sale of stolen and counterfeit goods online. Of course it has.

That is a big cost we have, Black. Yes, that's why she won't criticize it. Un-fucking-believe. It hasn't panned out. He just wants the video. What are you looking at? What's your definition of, what's it have to do to be a true allegation?

Maybe she tried to show uplift and didn't get anything. It's not panning out. He was looking for a padded bra. I don't know what data she's talking about, said Rep. Rodney Davis. I'll tell you, no respect whatsoever. Illinois Republican. The Retail Industry Leaders Association also took issue with her remarks in a comment to the Washington Times.

They said, respectfully, the congresswoman has no idea what she's talking about. Both the data and stack of video evidence, which I just said, makes fairly clear that this is a growing problem in need of a solution. Jason Brewer, RILA Senior Executive Vice President of Communications, said in an email, if she is not concerned with organized theft and increasingly violent attacks on retail employees, she should just say that. I fucking love it. Get out of my room, you sick cunt. Exactly. I love it. Did he not put that succinctly? Just say it. Just say it, AOC. She might be the dumbest one in Congress.

You know? I mean, Ilhan, she's just a hateful bitch who just hates this country. And like, she's a prop that was sent over here to infiltrate. And so is Talid, even though she's from here. Detroit. Well, close enough. Whatever. Illinois. I don't give a shit. Well, close enough. Whatever, Illinois. I don't give a shit. Anyways, can you imagine looking at that video and going, this is being exaggerated. 19 cars pull up in a line.

40 people get out with tools, smash, grab, come back out, and they're selling the shit. But that's not enough evidence for the BU grad slash bartender. Make me a slippery nipple, you pig. That's what you should be doing. What a waste of tits. Who's with me? You don't hear that on Hannity, do you? Excuse me.

Look, Dallas, you're a sound man. How do we come up with a cough button like radio stations have? I need a cancer button. Anyway, let's go from one dumb broad to another. What's the headline? Mentally ill, Han. Yeah, yeah. Been used 100 times.

Rep Ilhan Omar. Why am I saying it like she's Spanish? Democrat Minnesota. Says Sunday she's very confident that House Speaker douchebag Pelosi, Democrat. I love how they put Democrat California. Thanks for clearing that up. I thought she was a strong conservative from Tulsa. Look at stupid with a hijab. Welcome to America, you fucking hateful terrorist whore. Staring at Nancy Pelosi, another anti-American pig. Look at the love in their eyes. Get a Roman, get a double-headed dildo, and fuck each other to death. I stole that from Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw said, get a double-headed dildo and fuck each other to death. Do you have any comments, Mr. McConnell? Well, a double-headed dildo.

My wife, we had one of those on a double-headed dildo on our honeymoon. Well, it wasn't a dildo. They didn't have them back then. I got a mop handle in it. I whittled the head on both sides. She's stuck in my house, so I put her in her pussy a couple times. Anyways, those whores will hold the vote to strip Representative Lauren Boebert, Republican Colorado, who we like. She's a little yappy.

I do agree, but of her committee assignments in the near future in response to her recent controversial comments about Omar. Remember I told you what she said? She was in a elevator and Omar was coming. She goes, well, at least she doesn't

have a book bag with her. A terrorist thing. And that's, wait a minute, was it Beaubier who said that? It was. And then she apologized. But who are here is trying to make more, somebody take this bitch to the river. Which river, Nick? I don't know.

The one that stinks the most. The, we should punish and sanction Beaubier by stripping her of her committees, by rebuking her language. Oh, this woman makes me... You fucking whore. That's right. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Which consists of lamb and hummus. Omar said by doing everything that we can to send a clear and decisive message to the American public that if the Republicans are not going to be adults and condemn this, that we are going to do that. Be adults? Really? Like AOC

going, smash and grab is just a racist thing you guys made up. You mean adults like that? Or Ron Klain, whom we're about to get to a spokesman for the president, saying that the media treats Biden worse than they did Trump? Adults like that, is that what you mean? May you get a lump on your ass the size of a grapefruit and it spreads to your sister's backside.

What? Mr. O'Connell, I left my chin in the men's room. CNN's State of the Union anchor, Jake, it looks like I smelled onions, tap her, then asked Omar whether she believed Pelosi, ooh, tough question, Jake, would hold the vote to strip O'Beir of her committee assignments. I've had conversation with the speaker, and I'm very confident that she will take decisive action next week Omar said

because she's a cunt just like I am as you know when I first got to Congress I was worried that I wasn't going to be allowed to be sworn in because there was a ban on the hijab okay nothing nothing she's a plant, like you said. She promised me that she would take care of it.

She fulfilled that promise. That's right. She changed hundreds of years of rules and standings, and I had been in D.C. for about five minutes, but I'm more important because I'm a brown woman, you pig. She's made another promise to me that she will take care of this and I believe her. Let me translate that for you. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa, a bacala. I think that's what Bo Bear said in her apology. Hey, Lauren, let's play her apology. Durka, Durka,

Muhammad Jihad. Oh, she's rubbing rubbing it in Haka Sherpa Sherpa a bacala imagine if she did that oh my god Omar went on to call House Minority Leader Representative Kevin McCarthy

Republican a liar and a coward during the CNN interview and uh Kevin said this fuck you fuck you

fuck you Kevin said this. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! For his defense of Bo Bear, McCarthy had said that Bo Bear had apologized publicly and apologized personally. Can't handle the truth, can you, you little terrorist bitch? You keep going, Lauren. You too, Marjorie Taylor Greene. Marjorie Greene, Taylor. Taylor Marjorie.

Marjorie with Taylor Greene, or Marjorie Greene Taylor, Taylor Marjorie, Marjoran with Taylor Greene's in it. You crazy bitches, you let it keep flying. I swear to God, if I was in charge, I'd be electing nothing but women. Seriously, we're at a point now where women, at least in DC, have bigger balls on the right than these two-face pricks, those 80 people that voted. Remember last week, the 80 Republicans that voted for whatever the fuck it was, I don't even remember. Yeah. Seems like the girls are the only ones doing anything.

I'm telling you, I'm telling you, nothing but acrimony up there on the hill. I say that like I'm a D.C. reporter. Anyways, we haven't talked about COVID in about three seconds, have we? I've been sweating through my sheets the last few nights, and then I realized why I had the fucking electric blanket on. Because last week it was in like the 40s at night and 30s, and we don't have heat still in my house, by the way. So I'd have to put on the goddamn thing, and I'd wake up going, oh, no, I got the chink virus. Head's all sweaty and shit. Then I look over, and the thing's burning me to death. Anyways, vaccines are in the story. Vax this. A Maryland man, I was with this guy at the beginning

of the article. I was all for him. I thought he was a hero until the end. You'll see why I'm not a big fan. A Maryland man faces federal charges over allegedly distributing over 600 fake COVID-19 vaccine cards. Now, right there, I was very, seemed like he was being a true patriot. Amar Shabazz, of course. Oh, boy. Again, has anybody done anything good with that haircut? Don't mean to be racist, but I see that haircut, I think of one of my favorite movies ever, Menace to Society. You ever see that one, Dallas? It's just a fucking raw movie. Amar Shabazz, 23, allegedly bought the cards through a foreign online marketplace and advertised to sell them on several social media platforms. Well, good for you, honey. COVID-19 vaccination card. Who wants one? Shabazz wrote.

No, who want one? Who want one? You're going, Nick, you're being very particular. Well, right away, they printed on purple. Who want one? Not who wants one. That would be white. Who want one? That'd be brown. It's that simple, folks. No, that's racist. No, it's that fucking simple. It's that cut and dry. Shabazz, right away that you know the name means trouble. Shabazz wrote on one account, although I like his spirit, like I said, because the whole vaccine's a bunch of shit. You should be ripping them off. People are losing jobs because of vaccines. So you know what? Fucking go get your money. Shabazz wrote on one account,

according to the charges filed against him, $75 a pop. Hot dogs. Get your hot dogs here. $75 a pop. You go, Shabazz. He continued to promote the cards over the following month, commenting on articles about vaccine requirements

and restrictions at bars and restaurants. Even he looks like a bit of a thug can pick up on how how false this narrative is according to a criminal complaint. He allegedly messaged individuals to tell them he was sold out on multiple occasions. Apparently there's a market for it. But investigators had already started investigating Shabazz when they saw his haircut in last day. And I'm not saying that as racist. I think it's good detective

work. And his operation, interviewing a number of individuals who purchased the fake cards. Boy, I'd like to get about a dozen so I can fly to the shit-funny hut in Buckle Town, Mississippi. I came up with a great

name for a fake comedy club. Actually, Joe List is writing something. He asked me if he could use it. Tell me this isn't a great name for a fake comedy club. Skid marks. That is not a great... Spell it like the Marx Brothers I am so clever The investigation led to law enforcement

Searching Shabazz's basement on October 1st Shabazz had a list Titled Things I'm doing when I get out Updated it said on the list The list included steps to getting money illegally. That's it.

Write it down, shithead. Didn't you learn anything from the Sopranos, such as buying a burner phone for scamming? This is even... And consulting a lawyer for tips on what not to do.

Well, try to get a hold of Avenatti. He's pretty good at it. Shabazz had allegedly looked into deleting his account on the market website and had already deleted his email account. In September, he had researched customs inspection packages, vaccination cards, and watched videos of FBI agents investigating fake vaccination cards. Watched videos of FBI agents investigating fake vaccination cards. I mean, think about the energy he puts into crime if he did that with something legit. And he still wouldn't make money.

Good for you. Fuck, who am I? With this government, the way they are fucking us in the ass. Seriously, ripping you people, making you quit your jobs over. Bullshit. All bets are off. Go for it. But here's where he loses me, he appeared in court for his arraignment on December 3rd, Shabazz who had served jail time for possession of child pornography, you're a loser, you'll always be a loser,

now faces a possible sentence of up to 20 years for each mail fraud and obstruction of justice if convicted because of the vaccine card case. And you lost me with a kid porn shit. Otherwise, I liked your criminality and where you were headed. You know how big fake vaccine cards are going to be? I'm sure the government will put one out with a stamp on it, right? Is that how they do it? Guess what? Guess what? I won't be disappointed if I don't have to connect in Utah to get to some bullshit gig and fuck face. I'll drive there. I love my people so much.

Hey, fans, fans of mine, just move down to Florida, will you? Everybody else is. Make it easy for me. I'll drive. I'll fucking perform every weekend in Florida. Except the weekends

that I'm dancing at the, I'm a male stripper at the Pooler Mall right next to Applebee's. It's a mail strip club for big fags. I'm there all the time. Speaking of fags, that was a nice segue.

City by the Gays is the headline. The staff of a San Francisco restaurant denied service to three uniformed police officers after claiming the officers' weapons made them feel uncomfortable. What the fuck does it make you feel uncomfortable, you fucking gay, police-hating, American-hating twats? Get out of my country. Seriously,

get the fuck out. You don't like it here. You don't like anything about it. Everything makes you uncomfortable. Go to a comfortable country. Go to fucking North Korea. See if you're uncomfortable. They all have haircuts like you. That is not even true. They have this haircut, sadly. The staff then proudly posted the incident on social media.

They're not anti-cop, but they put it on social media. Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are? Who the fuck do you think you are? on social media they did not yet the carpet they put it on social uh... media but you know uh... that was uh... hill on all my aka lauren bobe

uh... anyways they put on social media but then i had to clap the staff of heldilda and Jesse, let me guess, a couple of lovers. How do they not have a show on the Food Network? I'm guessing they're lovers. I could be wrong. Hilda and Jesse, San Francisco, that's the restaurant, posted on Instagram an announcement that they had asked three uniformed police officers to leave the restaurant after the sidearms police are required to wear made them feel uncomfortable.

You gotta grow up. You're not a kid anymore. You gotta grow up. Oh, they tried the omelets there. They declared the restaurant to be a safe space. There's no such thing, you dumb cunts, both of yous. There's no such thing. We're not anti-cop.

Listen, this is a quote from one of them. This is not a political statement. We did what we thought was best for our staff. That's right. Pin it on the staff. You see what they do? It's always for protection and your safety. You don't even have the balls to admit it. At least have the balls to admit you don't like cops. You know what? You make me uncomfortable with your haircut and your look. I'm dead serious. You make me uncomfortable. Why, Nick? Because I don't like fucking angry gay women.

You want to play the fucking game? You're making me feel unsafe because you have an 18-inch neck like myself. We respect, listen, this is the dumb, we respect the San Francisco Police Department and are grateful for the work they do. I'm going to kill you, you lying cocksucker! No you don't!

No you don't! Nobody's buying that! Oh God. San Francisco, people still live there? I'm going home to my city by the gate. Try the chocolate mousse. Listen to this.

They concluded by saying the officers are welcome to return. Why the fuck would they? Let's take a listen to one of these lying, hateful, anti-American bitches. Go ahead. It's not about the fact that we are anti-police. It is about the fact that we do not allow weapons in our restaurants. Pause. Pause. I don't even know how to address that.

I don't, I don't, we how to address that. We're not against chefs. We're just against chefs who use utensils. It's that stupid. You know what I mean? The knives make me feel uncomfortable. Are you fucking, do you understand how stupid you are, Rachel Silcox? Ironic name for somebody who looks like fucking Alex Trammell of the Detroit Tigers.

Look at the Asian girl smoking over there, but she's playing into it, feeding softball. She should be going, I mean, isn't that kind of silly? Let me ask you a question, Rachel. How long have you had this gun phobia? I mean, you walk outside, right, in downtown San Francisco, and you see cops out there with guns, right? What do you do? Run in and duck behind a... Seriously, you're a lying fuckface who's unhappy with how your life turned out. Guns. It's guns. Even though they're in the hands of cops, there's no difference. You know what I mean?

It's the guns that make us uncomfortable. Just a liar. You're against law and order. The fact that you still live in San Francisco tells me everything I need to know about you. Can you imagine if they say, they're welcome to return when off duty out of uniform and without their weapons. You're welcome into my house when you put on some makeup, blow dry your hair and

get some fake tits. It's that offensive. I'm not shitting you. The anti-police action by the restaurant staff comes amid a spiking crime wave. This which makes it even more ironic and idiotic. In San Francisco and other Bay Area communities, we organize criminal groups. Well, not according to AOC. Do you see how they're all fucking gone? Raid and loot retail establishments. And, you know, yet they don't want cops there. High-end businesses in the city's Union Square

are boarded up after a string of mass looting events rocked the region. But these women don't want police with guns anywhere around. Just let that sink in for a second. You're living in the city with one of the highest crime rates, soaring crime. People are leaving in droves because of the crime, and you don't want cops in your shitty little diner with guns.

Wow. Nick, she's probably straight. All that other gay, I don't know. I don't give a fuck. That was my take on it. I love to prejudge. It bothers people. It bothers people.

Anyways, that's it for today, ladies and gents. Good to be back. I'll tell you, who wants to fucking hang around on the couch, watch football, eat and cook and drink and have fun when I can come here on Monday? Remember thecomicsgym.com. Go sign up there, please, on a monthly basis. Can you please? I'm trying to catch up to fucking Crowder and a few other people. If I see goddamn Adam Carolla on one more show again acting like he's the final say in comedy,

I'm going to fucking, and I like him. I have to say that as a person, I like Adam. He's a guy's guy. He played football. He's a carpenter. We need more of these guys. I'm just saying. Quit treating him like he was a guy who did the road for 30

years and did comedy. That's all I'm saying. Adam, I fucking love you, but shut up. It's not your fault. Anyways. Yeah, fucking good for him. That is it. Comicsgym.com. Nickdip.com. I think we're selling stuff

at discount prices, right? Because it's the holidays and we know. And don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. I'll take them to the dry cleaners. I'll make a video on my phone. I'll send it right to them. Cameo.com. That is it.

You guys think that I will say it? You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. I'm free guitar solo Outro Music