The Nick DiPaolo Show - CNN's FAT BRIAN Called Out for LYING | Nick Di Paolo Show #574

Episode Date: July 19, 2021

Buy Me Some Peanuts and Kevlar Vests. Libs Eating Libs. Black Cuban Rips BLM.

Hi, boys and girls. Nick DiPaolo here. Free speech lives right here on The Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm grateful to be able to do this show my way, and I'm only able to do it my way because of your generous contributions. Please go to nickdip.com or click the link on thecomicsgym.com and contribute today to keep this show and our speech free. Thank you so much. Oh boy. Yes.

How are you folks? Welcome to the show on another Monday. Boy, did that weekend fly. The less you do, the faster it goes. Laying on my ass. And 8 o'clock this morning, this sawzall's going and fucking circular saws and hammers. That's what I woke up to. Six guys coming in and out of my front door.

I'm in my underwear. Try to pick in stories. I'll tell you. Can't wait to get that new fucking stove. I've been churning out tremendous meals on this fucking kitchen built in 1911. Wait till I get this Heston stove with six burners in it. I told you the joke I made, and this is why I'm a comic, and this is in every DNA's comic.

I already told you this story, but when we were looking for fucking ovens, it was down to a Viking and a wolf. I said to the guy, I'm going with a fucking wolf. He goes, why is that? The Vikings, this is guys. Come on. German oven. And, you know, he looks at me with his fucking dead eyes and my wife turns away.

And that's what comics do anyways. And then he kind of chuckled because he's from the South. But let's get right down to it, I guess. What else, though? What you have seen? My buddy came over, almost broke my back, removing the sink in our kitchen, which had cast iron. Must have weighed, I'd say, about 250. Fucking almost lost a finger and a toe. I'm a bitch when it comes to that stuff. Very good with angles and shit, though. Getting it out, putting it on a fucking dolly, fitting it in a truck. Very good with angles and shit, though. Getting it out, putting it on a fucking, you know, dolly, fitting it on a truck. Very good with angles.

I digress. Let's get to it. I got nothing to say other than this. I have Nick the Pig as a friend. Yeah? You're entitled to shit. What is going on today? Let's start with a shooting. a shooting at the nationals game

baseball it's getting weird i'm so paranoid about the government knowing they had the balls to steal an election that i believe you're going to see false flags all over the place they're actually you know they kept saying they keep saying that white supremacists in other words trump supporters there's there's going to be a 9-11 scale thing and and and the this is what they're sort of predicting so they're just showing their hand they're going to do some false flag thing and blame it on us mark my words quote that save this show i know how these fuckers operate just hope you're not near it anyways uh yeah the stories get wilder. The fucking headlines. It's just violence and, I don't know. Headline, buy me some peanuts and Kevlar vests.

Three people were injured in a shooting Saturday night outside Nationals Park in Washington, D.C., sending baseball fans and players scrambling during a game uh police said well it's dc what do you by the way they might be justified have you seen their average batting wise a fan outside of the stadium was one of three people wounded according to a sean benedict executive assistant chief of police for dc's metropolitan police department there he is there, a nice Johnny Mathis-looking fella. The fan who was shot, a woman, apparently wouldn't shut up. She kept standing up. A guy, no.

A fan who was shot, a woman. She's expected to recover, Benedict said. Police initially said in statements posted on Twitter that four people were shot. The two other people wounded in the shooting were associated with a recovered vehicle. That's another way of saying a stolen vehicle, and are now in the hospital being questioned by police, according to Benedict. It's unclear what their exact involvement was in the incident. Benedict, well, it can be one of two things. They could be victims or perpetrators.

Let's not fucking cloud the issue. Benedict also said those individuals were known to law enforcement. I'm going to go out on a limb and say... I'm black, y'all, and I'm black, y'all, and... Nick, that's right. Well, I'm just, you know, it's D.C. I'm connecting the dots.

D.C., stolen car, gun play. I could be wrong. Could be those six Irish people that reside in D.C. I'm connecting the dots. D.C. stolen car, gun play. I could be wrong. Could be those six Irish people that reside in D.C. CNN journalists inside the stadium reported hearing multiple loud bangs during the bottom of the sixth inning in a game between the Nats and the San Diego Padres. First, they thought it might have been the Padres coach banging on a barrel with a bat, stealing signals, a la Houston Astros. That was a good one, Nick. I know. Fans fled their seats and sought shelter after hearing the gunfire. Benedict said there ultimately was no threat to people inside

the stadium, but they didn't know that at the time. There's no crying in baseball. Oh, yeah, sometimes there is. On Sunday, the Metropolitan Police Department released images of the at-large vehicle, which they identified as a gray Toyota Corolla, seen here, with a missing hubcap on the rear driver's side. There she is. Again, bolstering my speculation.

Police said the car, seen in photos captured by surveillance cameras in the area, has dark tinted windows and investigators believe it had a temporary Virginia tag. Again, bolstering my theory. Investigators believe it had a temporary Virginia tag. Again, bolstering my theory. Members of the public who can identify the vehicle are asked to notify police of buyer of the tip line. Hello? Yeah. I saw a gray Toyota.

Thank you. That fucking narrows it down to a trillion. The Washington Nationals had fans shelter in place inside the stadium during the immediate aftermath of the gunfight. Now, if this was at Yankee Stadium, the people, the fans would have been looking for the mother. They would have stayed right in their seats and pulled out their own guns. So maybe it's a bad night. And they, anyways, in the immediate aftermath of the gunfight, according to Scott Fear. Scott Fear, that's his last name fear what scott fear do with that name a vice president for public safety and security

his last name is fear i mean you can't write this shit oh you can't it writes itself that's what people always say shit right just so sell. Oh, does it? So why aren't you a comic? Yeah, Buckstein. And security for the Washington. A message on the scoreboard shortly after the shooting told fans that the shooter was 0 for 5. He'd, no. Shooter told fans to remain inside the baseball park. But it was later updated to say it was safe for fans to leave the stadium

of course they did all right get up yeah it's getting a little wild out there huh and and you know what i get nervous when they show stuff like that i've been predicting because i'm such a up uplifting spirit i've been saying this for a long time, and I mean a long time. Someday I'm afraid a player might get, you know what I mean, some fucking psycho with a gun in the... So that kind of makes you a little bit nervous. Speaking of that, I was watching the greatest rivalry in sports. Well, it used to be the Yanks and the Sox.

And Verdugo, my favorite Red Sox, playing left field to be the Yanks and the Sox. And Verdugo, my favorite Red Sox, playing left field at Yankee Stadium for the Red Sox. He flips a ball to a Boston fan, but a New York fan intercepts and catches it and throws it back at him and hits him when he had his back turned. And Verdugo

went off like the hot-headed Hispanic that he... I loved it. They had the camera on his face. He said, he must have said motherfucker and pussy ass bitch 11 times in a minute. He was, they had to go out and get him. Well, that's what they do. If somebody gets hit with something, they take you off the field.

But that rivalry needed a bit of a spark. Anyways, Yanks took two or three, but we're still smoking them. Back to the show, I digress, but I'm such a sports fan. That makes me straight. What? Nick.

That was a stupid statement. I agree. What's the headline here, Matt? Oh, thank you, Oprah. You know, I've been blamed. Oh, I should have had you pull a bit. Fuck it. I have a bit called Rape Whistle.

I meant to tell you. You guys know if you're my fans, it was on like my first album, I think, called Rape Whistle. I meant to tell you. You guys know if you're my fans, it was on like my first album, I think, called Rape Whistle, the bit. Because I blame Oprah. She has like three generations of fat women thinking they're beautiful. And the joke was I actually saw a woman, it was true, in Central Park. She had two rape whistles. She weighed like 600 pounds. I'm not shitting you, fatter than Oprah. Weighed like 500 pounds. She had two rape whistles. She weighed like 600 pounds. I'm not shitting you. Fatter than Oprah. Weighed like 500 pounds. She had two rape whistles on her keychain. I said, that's like putting the club on the steering wheel of a Hyundai.

Only ball she's going to see her in that whistle. She actually had two rape whistles. What's the second one for? The rapist? Holy shit. I'm a sick fuck. I should do more material. this show might catch on someday i don't like the gray hair either anyways uh thank you oprah you fat fuck we're midway through a

scorching summer and the sports illustrated swimsuit issue is back to quench our thirst since 1964 the mag has been putting out the steamy photos of the boldest, blondest, boldest, boldest, blondest bombshells on the planet. And you know why they've been doing it that long? Can I just say why? It's not an accident. People like to look at hot pussy. Both men and women.

And everybody else. My dog used to have a smile on his face when this showed up in the mail. It'd bring it right to me. Okay? And that's why. But no, we have to change everything. Let's lower the standards out of fairness. The 2021 issue, of course, is a new woke issue. I don't even know who fucking reads Sports Hill anymore anyway. Our newsstands thursday showcases sports illustrators most diverse group you notice every time the word diverse shows up things get ugly diverse is another word for a not white uh group of women to date it's the most diverse group of women today which

includes a slew of plus size catwalkers because you because you know what? I'm giving it a tug. I want like a Rosie O'Donnell lookalike spreading her filthy man cheeks. Fucking slew of plus-size cat, oh, we're still calling them catwalkers? That's hilarious. And a 57-year-old stunner. Well, who would that be? This year's three cover stars are tennis great Naomi Osaka, seen here. I got better tits. Nick, what are you

saying? You know what I'm saying. Megan the Stallion, the first rapper to appear on the cover of the issue. There's nothing wrong with that. But here's the one that makes me question my own sexuality. And Lena Bloom, the first trans woman to appear in the issue and on the cover. I think I want to fuck a tranny.

Sure, she has a face like Mike Singletary, but that's not the cover. I think I want to fuck a tranny. Sure, she has a face like Mike Singletary, but that's not the point. Jimmy Norton was ahead of the curve. Norton loves this shit. He's been doing it for years. Jimmy, I salute you, my friend. Only you got to admit, they didn't look like that when you started that. While past issues have featured... Look, that's a... We call it a woman now because it was a man, but that is apparently a... We call that a woman now, I guess. Your son looks like a fag to me. He looks like a good-looking fag.

While past issues have featured bikini babes posing in exotic locales from Switzerland to China. We had Kate Upton in there. I didn't want to show them all. It would take forever. She once posed among penguins in the Antarctic. The 2020 pandemic curtailed international travel, so they did it all in my bedroom. What?

And then my alarm went off, and I went up and got to work. So all of this year's sexy shoots took place stateside at hard rock that's a good place hard rock hotel that's what we used to get when you looked at it hotel locations in california florida and atlantic city what better way to show off some of the hottest chicks in the world than a fucking casino in the middle of a ghetto it was not easy and we approached the situation well they're gonna work the covet angle into it very seriously sports illustrated swimsuit longtime editor mj day told the post of producing the issue during the pandemic adding that we

wanted to put masks around their snatches but nobody, adding that photography teams quarantined and followed CDC guidelines. We took every necessary precaution to keep everyone safe, except for the broads who were naked. Oh my God, I can't take any more of this talk about this fake fucking pandemic. You need to shut the fuck up in total 25 models and 13 finalists from the brands nationwide amateur model search will get their glossy glory as part of what day deems a powerful group of extraordinary multi-dimensional women jesus christ are they in love with themselves for years we've been working tirelessly to move the needle and change the conversation around beauty and acceptance, said Day.

Have you really? The incredible women featured in the issue represent some of the most powerful voices of today? Somebody saved me from this fucking planet? What is she talking about? Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Here's a selection of this year's featured snatch, I mean models, making a splash before the issue drops July 22nd, along with 10 million loads. Picture here, and it's my favorite of all the ones this year, would be my ex-girlfriend. I broke up.

She snored like a truck driver. Camille Kostick. Let's take a look at her. Come on down. Oh, God, help me. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Please study this picture because we've got some doozies coming up. Look at that.

Does she even exist? I'd dig a little hole in the sand right behind her. My head would pop up. Look at that. Does she even exist? I'd dig a little hole in the sand right behind her. My head would pop up. Camille Kostick, that's a Hollywood Florida, like we give a fuck. Then we got, modeling is just one of four, four-timer. Camille Kostick's many pursuits. Jesus, I gave you the whole article, huh? The 21-year-old originally from Connecticut, host of Baza Baza, the guys jerk off to her. Oh, Wipeout is a good show. She's been dating Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I didn't read any of this. Gronkowski!

Gronk is hitting that? What happened to the porn chick? Oh my god. I love Gronk. I love her more. I'm going to have to talk to him. There's no need for that.

Oh, that's the same bride since 2015. I thought she was a porn star. There's a former cheerleader for the Patriots. Okay, I don't need her hole. What the fuck did I do? Recently teamed up with Swimsuit to create her own collection of stylish shoes, which I'll be wearing. Oh, size 2XL.

Why? Is she supposed to be a plus? No. Here comes a plus one. How about our friend Yumi Nu? She's a piece of... Look at that right there. Take a look at that, everybody. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. That's mean. Can I just say

something? And you guys are going to think I'm nuts. I don't look at her as a, I'll tell you, when you get to be my age, I'm just saying, let's cut to the chase. I think I'd hit it if I had about 11 Jägermeisters in me. She's a beautiful woman from the neck up, you know, from the waist down. I don't know if I've seen her on my 600-pound light. But look, that's a lot of ass to grab. She's pretty. Let's be honest, she's a pretty girl. But the point being, have your own magazine.

Have plus size. You see what I'm saying? You know what I mean? You know't go to a steakhouse and order a fucking cheeseburger. She does. Yumi Nu poses in Tampa, Florida for the 2021 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. You can tell she's a pretty girl, and maybe this is good, but I'm not buying it. Oh, stop it, Nick. You're being a misogynist asshole. Rookie Ayumi Nu is 24. She'll be dead when she's 30 because of her sugar problem. Is making her mark as the publication's first ever plus size.

She's Asian? Is that her? That's her. The Japanese and Dutch, oh, Japanese and Dutch California girls is DJ Steve Aoki's niece and has released music of her own through her uncle's label, Dim Mac Records. Good, good label. New, whose model for the past 12 years is coming out with a plus-size clothing line called Bluekey. That's Japanese for blue balls. Later this year, that focuses on sustainability.

Sustaining what? Your weight? Got a beautiful face. Who do I talk? I'm 5'9", 221. But I'm on steroids. MJ Day lauded her natural beauty. She doesn't hold herself to any traditional beauty standards, unapologetic, seeing herself as a powerful, beautiful, yeah, powerful is right.

And I think we already mentioned this woman here, Lenya Bloom. Lenya Bloom, here she is. How was that a guy at one point? Well, it's still got the legs of tiny archibald lenya bloom first trans model please give me a call why do you say that he's in a nice two-piece one piece that's the first trans uh again aesthetically all right you gotta here's what i'm saying about trends okay and again i i don't wish it on anybody i really think it's a burden whatever

but you know caitlin jenna is still making me laugh caitlin jenna is just an old-fashioned tranny still sounds like a guy it's like jenna and wig. I've said this before. I belly laugh. It's a guy with woman's makeup and shit. At least this person had its dick removed and got some tits. You know what I'm saying? Who's with me? And then we got some black Instagram model. Right?

I don't know her name. We call her Ray Lewis. Oh, God. You fat, nasty black bitch. Sorry. Don't find that sexy whatsoever. Not that, though, it's skin color, but I'm just saying. I don't want to be, I'm married, doesn't matter to me,

but you don't want to be dating a broad who can fucking deadlift 800 pounds. Catches you cheating and she rips your head off by getting you in a fucking noogie lock. Anyways, thank you, Sports Hill, for ruining a tradition that, again, you know what they do? This is the world we're living in. Who gets pleasure out of this? Oh, men. Yeah, they're the problem. Can't we have a plus size issue?

How about that? Give them even more press. They have their own issue. I'm just saying. Don't be dropping M&Ms in my chocolate souffle at the French Laundry, you mothers. Let's move on, shall we, Matt? In our Libs Eating Libs segment tonight, fat fuck Brian Stelter eaten by wolf. This is, this may be, this made my weekend. This was better than watching porn.

I needed two handy wipes when I was done watching this. This was, this guy's the biggest girl, first of all, on TV. Makes fucking Don Lemon look like Ray Nitschke. This guy is a lying fag and just a pompous asshole. We all know it. We've all seen him. But guess what? Somebody called him, a guest of his, called him on his nonsense this weekend. An author, a left-winger himself, author and a journalist who has a book out, a left-winger himself, author, and a journalist who has a book out. Michael Wolff is his name, I do believe.

And this is, this is, this made my day. Take a look at Michael Wolff. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. Watch him tell Stelta what we've all been thinking. Go ahead, roll tape. I think you yourself, you know, while you're a nice guy,

you know, you're full of sanctimony. You know, you become part of one of the parts of the problem of the media. You know, you come on here

and you have a, you know, a monopoly on truth. You know, you know exactly how things are supposed to be done keep your eyes dealt with you know you are why one of the reasons people can't stay in the media

i'm sorry you're cracking me up it's your fault it's my so what should i do differently michael i you know don't talk so much listen more you know people have genuine problems with with with the media the media doesn't get the story right the media exists in its own bubble that's true i agree but you uh you know it looked heavier um you know you gotta stop i mean that last segment that that that i just had to listen to of all of the people saying the same old stuff. Also, you're incredibly repetitive. It's week after week. Pause.

I've been talking about the nervous liberal laugh. We know Kamala takes it to her. But I've been experiencing this since I was going to the comedy cellar, and I had the nerve to bring up my right-wing views at that table surrounded by lefties. And to a man or woman, they would giggle nervously when you made a good point. I would tell Noam, the owner, watch this. And I could make them go, ha-ha, they get nervous

when you call them on their horse shit. I didn't tell you, or did I tell this story when I was with Tommy on the road in Dallas, was it? And I was sitting in the, me and him were sitting in the lobby of the hotel, and I had a shirt on that said One Nation Under God. Did I tell this? And the old man came up to me. I told it to you?

The old man came up to me and goes, oh, I like your t-shirt. Right away, because I'm a cynical, paranoid fuck, I'm like, oh, what's, I can tell. Oh, I like your t-shirt. No, you don't. That was my first thought. No, you don't. Sure enough. Guy would look like he was in his seventies, like a professor in the glasses. He goes, you know, the founding fathers would have, would have, you know, they would have hated that, uh, one nation under, you know, in 1929, they actually, because they were so paranoid about the communists, they put the word God on money.

And he's giving me a little lecture, you know, he goes, because they were so paranoid about the communists. They put the word God on money. And he's giving me a little lecture, you know. He goes, because they were so scared of those crazy communists. And I look at him and go, the only crazy communists I see is Pelosi and the fucking Democrats. Just like that. I hear Tommy go, mm-hmm. And the guy goes, no, he goes, no, no, no. The threat is from within.

And I said, please tell me you don't mean white people. And he did the same thing. Fucking took right off. Because he had nowhere to go. Tommy looks at me, goes, oh, that was fucking precious. He lured me in. He's going to give me a little lecture of sanctum on his ass. Anyways, we saw him later. I drowned him in the low end at the pool at the hotel. Anyways, we saw him later. I drowned him in the low end at the pool at the hotel. Piece of fuckstain.

This was CNN. That was the end of that clip, was it not? How fun is that? Watching him hear the truth about himself for the first time. It was just precious. Brian Stelter. I don't know if you guys watched the Gutfeld show, but Gutfeld takes responsibility for giving this guy a career. He used to put him on red-eye when I was on at 3 in the morning all the time.

And this guy has since gone on to bad-mouth him, and Gutfeld tortures him almost every night on that show because he's a lying big girl. He's a big girl. I mean, bigger than any plus-size model. I'm surprised he wasn't in the last issue in a string bikini and fucking laying next to the Hard Rock Cafe with his fucking life partner, Billy,

14-year-old Eagle Scout. I don't know, but I've been told big-legged woman ain't got no show. I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore. Former President Donald Trump is poised to go all in to help Republicans recapture the, you don't even

need, we don't even need his help. I could do it. I could step in there with the fucking shit that the Dems have been pulling. If you can't win every race, again, cheating notwithstanding, I mean, the Democrats are just, they have everybody shaking their heads, even some Dems. Anyways, help Republicans, Trump will recapture the House and Senate

during the 2022 midterms and the White House again in 2024, according to our favorite Senator Lindsey Graham. Graham, seen here, judging one of those little contests, those beauty pageants in the South. I like Sharon. Graham, who told Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro, piece of ass for no lady, Saturday evening that he just finished two days worth of playing golf with Trump. Holy shit. Good for you, Lindsay. And that the former president is, how many times do you think Trump fucking threatened him? Trump cards like an eight.

Now that was a six. Lindsay's like, no, Mr. President. Shut it, Lindsay, or I'll tell everybody what you did at the pool last summer. And anyways, the former president is mad as hell and ready to go. This is Lindsey talking that he believes Trump will make another bid for a second term because he has unfinished a business. I fucking love it. They asked Trump how he feels that he said this. The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood graham says when you look at trump uh trump's four years compared to biden six months i like our chances to win the house and senate in 2022 and take back the white house in 2024 i could agree with them with uh stephanie joe biden's administration is out of control, he said. Every day that passes,

we appreciate Trump's policies more and more. He's not wrong. I will be shocked if Trump doesn't run for president in 2024, Graham continued, adding, I think he's all in to make sure we take back the House and the Senate and stop this craziness. That's what he said. You got to agree with him. I am your voice. Graham also said Trump was ready to continue hitting the campaign trail on behalf of favored candidates. We have a lot of talented people in the Republican Party. This is Graham, all Graham. But I can tell you this. If President Trump runs in 2024, he will be the nominee of his party.

And you know why? That's 1,000% right. And you know I'm a Trump guy. But his ego. You really think he'd take anything less than being the most fucking powerful guy on the planet? Absolutely not. Even after the beating he took and all the shit they threw at him, I don't know anybody mentally tougher. Nevermind what he could accomplish. He accomplished that shit with, it was like a running back with three guys hanging onto his legs, trying to drag him down the field. His policies are standing the test of time, Graham said. The border is broken, rampant inflation,

fat girls in sports illustrated swimsuit edition, crime in the streets, radical Islam is on the rise. Trump has a hell of a story to tell about what he did for this country and more importantly what he can do trump said i'm staying right here goddamn right i'm staying right here this is slob uh this crime know it well he also seemed to push back against republican moderates and others in the gop who are not fans or backers of Trump. Good for you, Lindsey. I was always on the fence on this guy, but I'm a fan. Sometimes I want to punch his lights out. This is the party of Donald Trump.

If you think otherwise, you're in for a rude awakening, said Lindsey Graham. Trump believes he has unfinished business as president of the United States, and he believes he can put the country in a better position than Biden has. I could. And I agree with him, Graham concluded. And he said this. Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. You are correct,

sir. Speaking of Trump, and who's still really the president legally, in my opinion, but that just makes me a crazy Fox right wing. Speaking of fraud and stolen elections, Fulton County, that would be right here in Georgia in the Atlanta area.

Headline, Fulton County fuck-ups should be fired. Georgia Secretary of State Brad Rafsenberger, Perger, hate that name. Remember him? He's the one who fucking didn't believe any Trump's claims after Trump claimed it was stolen. Remember? Now he knows they're going to come for his ass. So what's he been doing the last six months? He's a big Trump guy.

Just fucking coming around smelling the, where were you when we needed you, Raphson turd. Raphson Perger on Thursday called for Fulton county election director rick barron and registration director ralph jones to be terminated from their positions immediately following reports of voter fraud in georgia's largest county so get rid of them you're fired you're fired you're fired you're fired i doubt it fulton county by the way fulton County's had a history of fucking shenanigans that is as far back as you can go in elections. It's no secret. Okay?

It's in Atlanta. There's all kinds of shenanigans. We saw it. Fulton County continued failures have gone on long enough. This is Rafsensperger saying it with no accountability. He wrote on Twitter, Rick Barron and Ralph Jones, Fulton's registration chief, must be fired and taken out and shot in the backyard.

Must be fired and removed from Fulton's elections leadership immediately. Fulton's voters and the people of Georgia deserve much better. Thanks for coming around a year late, you cheese dick. This comes after images became available showing that nearly 200 absentee ballots in Fulton County were double counted. Even the Atlantic Journal-Constitution, a left-wing rag newspaper, reviewed the available digital ballots and found that hundreds of ballots were indeed counted twice. Son of a whore! That's a left-wing rag that it's mitten. And by the way, people,

I'm going to keep all these shows. We archive them so we can play them when all this shit becomes public to everybody. What a fucking joke, the last presidential election. What a biggest thievery. It should be the biggest story

in the history of this planet one video posted by heather mullins of real america's voice alleges that you can see the same two ballots side by side showing the exact same pen markings with the exact same image number a lawsuit filed in december by voter ga claims there is significant evidence of fraudulent ballots and improper ballot counting in fulton county so eventually we're gonna have to bring it to court the court's in session the court's in session now here come the judge here come the judge although the county and its election board filed motions to dismiss the case, of course they did, a judge ruled in favor of allowing it to move forward. We found a judge who's maybe sane, seeking an analysis of all absentee ballots. Voter GA

describes itself as a nonpartisan, non-profit, hey, like this show, all volunteer, dues-free coalition of citizens, excuse me, that happens when I lie, citizens founded to restore election integrity in Georgia. According to a press release the organization published this week, hundreds of ballots contained noticeable irregularities. The team's analysis revealed that 923 of the 1539 mail-in ballot batch files not ballots batch files that's a lot of file contain votes incorrectly reported in Fulton's official November 3rd 2020 results voter GA stated these inaccuracies are due to discrepancies in votes for Donald Trump Joe Biden in total vote cast compared to the reported audit totals for respective batches. Remember, we said that about Maricopa County, too, last week.

The numbers didn't match up. Those those five battleground states were fucking stolen. That's the error reporting rate and Fulton's hand count audit. Listen to the error rate. Sounds like me in college. 60% error rate in the counting. God help me. Is this moron number one?

Yes. Put moron number two on the phone. I'm right here. Hello? Hello? During the analysis, Voter GA claimed to have found seven falsified audit tally sheets containing fabricated votes. These aren't seven votes. These are seven sheets. Fabricated votes totals for their respective batches.

Along with the falsified sheets, the organization found more than 200 Fulton County mail-in ballot images containing votes not included in the hand count audit results for the November election. Nothing to see here. Another baseless claim, I guess, huh? All this stuff is provable. And as Steve Bannon said on his great show, Joe Biden, eventually you're going to have all the receipts. You're going to have to fucking explain yourself. Investment manager David Cross, who was working alongside voter GA, told the Atlantic Journal-Constitution, if we're finding this in Fulton County, we're probably going to find it throughout the state.

The question is, why did it happen? Really? You don't know the answer to that? Because Donald Trump was in the race and they were blinded for his hatred and the Dems are all in. Can I ask you a question? After what the Dems are trying to do here and they lose the House and the Senate,

oh, whatever, is there going to still be a Democrat party? Because they're not just pushing Democrats. What they're doing, they're trying to change our form of government before our eyes into socialism or whatever you want to call it.

Biden is doing these executive orders like fucking 11 a minute. Are we supposed to believe it's all Constitution? Does it even matter anymore? They wiped their ass for the Constitution on the left. Here comes a war. Do-do-do-do.

Here comes the war. And I said, you know, a city councilman in Fort Valley, Georgia. Oh, this is the next story. Also a Georgia story, by the way. Since I moved down here, all hell has broken loose. A city councilman in Fort Valley, Georgia. I'm going to tell you why I'm covering this article. It's very short, but let's see if you guys

can pick up on it if you're DePaulo fans and I've taught you how to read the news. Georgia has been, a city councilman in Fort Valley, Georgia has been charged with assault and making terroristic threats after allegedly threatening to shoot a woman and calling her

the N-word, according to reports. Don't applaud him. He sounds like a bad fella. In the heat of the moment, sometimes people don't know how to de-escalate their anger. We've seen it all over the country, everywhere. Black Mayor Barbara Williams said, according to WGXA, according to a July 2nd police incident report, the councilman, Jimmy Barnes, allegedly threatened to shoot a woman, calling her the N-word multiple times

at a highway convenience store. Wow, we just don't get along, huh? There are white niggers. What are you saying, Senator? I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. You use that word. I don't want to use that word. You're nasty.

He was arrested July 12th and released on July 15th on a $50,000 bond with an ankle monitor. Imagine because of a speech violation. Great reporting, assholes. Great reporting. I don't know.

You think maybe we want to hear the guy side of the story? Or is it just a given? You want me to believe that this white guy, city councilman, politician, walked up to a black woman, called her the N-word, and threatened to shoot her in the face for no reason whatsoever. I'm not even saying he's right. I'm just saying, let's hear his side of the fucking story. Remember that?

It was called journalism and reporting. This happens every day in this country. It's the headline. Councilman calls a woman N-word. And you walk by, and the ignoramuses in this country walk by, see the headline, ingest it and go, oh what a racist country. Do you think you might want to give the other fucking side of the

story? I don't know. Call me picky youn. I'd like to hear what happened. Let's discover the part where one of them, the white guy, lost his temper. Then again, I forgot, this is a New York paper. Even the New York Post, which is supposed to be, you know, to the right,

where anybody white is guilty because it's a New York paper. It's fucking endemic. Your mother sucks fucking Big fucking elephant dicks You got that You talking to me What the fuck did my mother do She doesn't even like elephants We need some sanity in this country

And we need it But do you believe that article Let me ask you If you read that would you have the reaction I did I hope you guys are at least that educated To go wait a minute aren't there supposed to be two parts Aren't we supposed to get both sides of the story And again you if you read that would you had the reaction i did i hope you guys at least that educated to go wait a minute aren't they supposed to be two parts aren't we supposed to get both sides of the story and again if the guy was at fault you'd know they'd put that in the paper because he's white

and he's old and she's black and female so you know if he did anything a little bit wrong, they would tell you. Let me try to, I don't know, speculate. She probably cut him off from parking spot and called him a fucking cracker, but that's not important. We need racial harmony in this country. Here's a guy who gets it, and he's a black Cuban. Black Cuban rips into BLM scumbags.

Outspoken, this was on a girl's Twitter, Outspoken, at Outspoken underscore Sam tweeted, a black man from Cuba has a message for BLM, and here's, now, he's in Cuba, right? I'm guessing this takes a lot of balls to to say this and then you put it up you know what i mean i'm pretty sure with facial recognition they'll be knocking on his door i hope this guy's still alive anyways here's a black cuban fella uh letting what letting black lives matter know what he thinks go ahead oh wait a minute i'll go some more here's some stuff he

said in cuba you cannot think you cannot speak you go right to dale uh he says thinking just the act of thinking in cuba you could go to jail speaking in cuba could take you to jail in cuba it's not about color whatever the government don't like they can take you to jail. People get disappeared all the time. Here's our buddy talking from Cuba. It's directly to black life matter movement. You guys suck. You know why you guys suck? Because you guys, any of you guys, any live in a communist country, in a socialist country.

The day you guys go to Cuba and live for a month at least, then you guys can talk about Cuba. Then you guys can talk about Cubans. Cuba is not a paradise. Cuba is not like a pretty island. It's not. Cuba is a dictatorship country. country cuba is a dictatorship government that should have been government i'm doing translation people are protesting right now in cuba they're not protesting because they want the embargo to be off pause they're not protesting because they want the embargo to be off is what he said i had

to listen to that one a couple times go ahead they're protesting because they want the embargo to be off, is what he said. I had to listen to that one a couple times. Go ahead. They're protesting because they want to be free. Okay. Do you hear that, BLM? You're a communist. Huh? That's what he's asking him. How do you like it?

They tell you all the time what to do, what to think, what to feel. Do you want to be like a cheap? Like all those other people, man? Bah! Bah! I don't have to listen to this bullshit. Yeah, you do, what to think, what to feel. Do you want to be like a cheap? Like all those other people, man? Bah! Bah! I don't have to listen to this bullshit. Yeah, you do, bud. Don't you like this guy? But again, if he's making this and it's on social media,

I'd be fucking nervous, man. That's how bad, and he's right. As Rambo said about Vietnam when they were spitting at him when he came back from the airport. How would they know unless they've been there? People spitting at him because of baby killers and all that vile crap. You asked me. I didn't ask you.

You don't just turn it off, you know. Great movie. But I like this fella. Let's give him a round of applause the best guy around he is correct sir ain't no doubt about it but it's true man huh unless you fucking live if you could just point lefties to one country where it's worked in the history of this planet, do you not read your history or do you hate yourselves that much that you wouldn't mind dying in a fucking,

I don't know what you call it, genocide? Pol Pot, Stalin, just to name a few. Over 100 million dead, I think. But religion's the problem, you know. Speaking of religion, you know what is a religion? People who are still wearing masks because of COVID and the whole COVID debate. What did we say on this show for the last month?

Oh, a new variant. Didn't I say they're going to keep the ball in the air for about a year? I was wrong. It's going to be about 10 years. You like me when you still see people wearing masks, you want to just grab them by the throat and go, what are you fucking doing? Unless you have like a 10-year-old girl

with bone cancer, has no immune system, take off the fucking mask. Ugh. Ugh. has no immune system take off the fucking mask uh uh mayday malone is the headline he's worried about recent covid um the numbers are going up because of the new variant i think from india i believe dr robert malone a pioneer in the field of M that's Amazon, Mary are, and a vaccines. That's a Moderna vaccine. He came up what the vaccine does. It teaches you sell how to create a piece of a protein, which triggers your immune system. This guy created that.

So I think he knows a little bit about it. But, well, I'll read on. He shared his concerns on a viral Twitter thread. A viral Twiddle thread, he said. That's right, a Twiddle thread. It's like Twitter, only it's little. It's a Twiddle thread. Oh, my God, I'm losing my tits.

Twitter threat on Friday, which lays out a disturbing trend. Here's what he's right about. The most vaccinated countries in the world are experiencing a surge in COVID-19 cases, while the least vaccinated countries are not. More evidence not to get the vaccine. You realize there's a theory out there, right? And people way smarter than me. It's the vaccine that's going to give us the problem and not the actual fucking virus,

whatever they call it. Do you understand? That's the plan. You get everybody sick and then give them a vaccine that'll create, oh, I don't know, heart problems down the road, all kinds of mental issues. That's a theory that's out there. I happen to believe in it. This guy doesn't even look like a doctor. He looks like the Dos Equis guy, the most interesting man alive. He just looks smart, don't he? That's a great beard. If you're on a sailing ship with a Viking. He says, and I quote Dr. Malone, this is worrying me quite a bit.

He tweeted that. Embedding the lengthy thread authored by a Twitter user at home called Katina Corona Realism via the Thread Reader app. I don't know why I put that in there. Here's what has Malone worried. A picture of the tweet. It has to be true. There's a bar graph with all kinds of pretty colors. I think they stole that from U.S. Today's model. USA Today, can I say that?

Something really odd is going on. This woman is quoting, in Europe we are seeing surges at many places where most of the population has already been vaccinated. Ah, propaganda. At the same time, the 15 least vaccinated countries don't seem to face any problem. At some time, the 15,

but at some point, denying this problem will get painful, the doctor says. Danger, Will Robinson, danger. Could I be happier? Yeah, yeah, who couldn't? The tweet reads, something really odd is going on. We have a black Indian Jamaican woman as vice president. We have a black Indian Jamaican woman as vice president. No, in Europe, we are seeing surges that many places where most of the population has already been vaccinated. That's not good. At the same time, the 15 least vaccinated countries don't seem to face any problem.

At some point, the doctor said denying this problem will get painful. And then he put in a graph. I didn't believe him. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, get painful. And then he put in a graph if you didn't believe him. I cheer you. I cheer you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass.

Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Look at some booty. That was somebody the doctor interviewed. In Cyprus, the majority of people have been vaccinated, right? They have the highest case count in the world right now. This is coming to America, folks. Get ready for another fucking fall and winter of,

this is how you're going to crush small businesses. Do you understand? This is why people aren't going to work. You'll all be on the dole. Young people are making more money sitting at home, getting a check from the government under the guise of covid relief and meanwhile those places where they work are folding and that's how you get the whole country on the dole it's all been done before my buddy and i he told me about the site rockefeller just google rockefeller foundation lockstep and you'll get a history of shit like this that's been tried before.

It's fascinating. Cyprus currently has the most COVID cases per capita on earth. Yet before the most recent wave began, they had already vaccinated the majority of their adult population. How do you explain that? Ah, the dirty Chinese. That's how I explain it. And their thirst to take over the world.

What do I got left here? La, la, la. La, la, la. Hey, let's go to the, let's end it. Can we end it, Matt, with the Russian? I want to go to the Russian swing set. All right. Because I like the other story for our

monthly subscribers who get a story all to themselves. But I like this story because we did a lot of heavy stuff and the Russians are crazy. Please come to Denver, she said no.

Boy, why don't you come home to me? Rambling boy, why don't you come home to me you rambling boy why don't you settle down denver ain't your kind of town there ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me all right let's move on let's end it with a nice light when i say every time i say a light funny story somebody either gets dead or paralyzed. I don't mean it like that. I'm just saying. Enough of the politics. Am I right? Headline, ladies and gentlemen, Russian swingers. This is the chilling moment. Two young women were flung off a swing on the edge of a 6,300-foot cliff in Russia. This one really, boy, got to hand it to these women. I wouldn't do this in a minute.

You could have told me Jesus Christ built the swing set himself, and I would have said, fuck that. You get on it. And then he would have said, who do you think you're talking to? Check this out. This is a, what do you call it, a canyon in Russia, deeper than the Grand Canyon, they say. And this is what they do for fun over there. I love to catch the guy. And you know it was a guy that built the swings.

Check this out and try not to shit your pants laughing. Hey, what could go wrong? Bye-bye. I'm sorry. I'm laughing because they survived. Luckily, there was some wooden platform, guess that broke their fall and do you understand they said if they had fallen at the peak you know I mean when the swing was at its peak they would have went oh 6,300 feet now me tell you, when you fall from that, you might get the wind knocked out of you. Holy shit.

You've got to admit, what the? Now, people, if you're religious, would go, oh, God intervened. That's why he saved. No, God broke the swing set, in my opinion. The pair was swinging over Sulik Canyon. I went there on vacation two years ago in dagestan by the way dagestan puts out the best ufc fighters in the fucking world i don't know what goes on in that country isn't that where for a khabib was from and i watched a kid this weekend that he's

mentoring who i don't know if he's even lost yet they say khabib says he's going to be better than he is anyways that was at the Sulak Canyon in Dagestan, where a cable holding the chair snapped. Luckily, the girls landed on a narrow platform where a punk rock band was rehearsing below. They landed on a narrow platform under the edge of the cliff, saving them from certain death. a narrow platform under the edge of the cliff, saving them from certain death.

Apart from shock, the young Russians suffered a few cuts and bruises. Putin was belly laughing. Police are launching an investigation and safety checks are being carried out. Oh, yeah. In Dagestan. I'm sure they're right on it. What's that? Balsa wood? Fuck it.

Do it. Being carried out on similar swings nearby. There's more than one of these death traps. Let's bring the kids. They have fun at the canyon, where the canyon is more than one mile deep. It's like Kamala Harris's asshole. The girls got scared and sustained scratches, but neither of them suffered serious injuries, as sources told the Kosmoskaloskaya Pravda. It is chilling to imagine what could have happened if they slipped when the swings were at a maximum height, warned some genius newspaper guy.

the local uh the local uh kaz bagovsky council they're very demanding are now demanding all swing sets near the edge of the cliff be removed you think the sulak gorge is deeper than the grand canyon in the u.s and described as the deepest canyon in Europe. The Ministry of Tourism in Dag... They have a... They have a Ministry of Tourism in Dag... Nothing ever happened good in Dagestan, except for the fighters from the UFC. Anyways, the guy from the tourism department said the swing did not meet safety standards. Well, aren't you Quincy? As a result, the young women fell off the swing seat, said the statement. Law enforcement agencies and other services are already conducting relevant checks to ensure that nothing threatens lives and health.

Yeah, right. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? I don't know. Because it's in Dagestan, that used to be one of their some of their turf. The daredevil swings have become popular with tourists in Dagestan. Must be a boring town. A Russian

region fronting the Caspian Sea where I have a duplex with Stu McGillicuddy. That is it ladies and gentlemen for good show on a Monday. Full of piss and vinegar. Now I gotta go home and fucking listen to by the way thursday there will be no show thursday uh i have to be at the house because the guys are coming and my wife's not gonna she's gonna be on a top of the day and i have to

make sure they don't steal shit i I don't know. They could be doing stuff wrong. I'd be right there going, that looks good. Anyways. Yeah, so I wanted to tell you that before I forget. What else? Comicsgym.com. Don't

forget it. That's where the permanent place for this show is. Nickdip.com. Click on my tour date to see if I'm coming to a town near you. That town would be Cohoes, New York, in the middle of August. I'm doing a nice – I shot an album there, actually. It's a beautiful little theater.

And don't forget Cameo.com. I did a lot of them this weekend. Cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, I'll do it on my phone. You go there, click on my profile, tell me about the people. I'll make a minute, minute and a half video

and we'll roast them. People love it. And the people I'm roasting are usually fans of mine. So it's a lot of fun. That is it. You guys think and I will say it. You are so very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow

at the same time. Have a good day. guitar solo Outro Music