The Nick DiPaolo Show - Coach/Suspect Nowhere To Be Found | The Nick Di Paolo Show #1823

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

In this episode, Nick talks about ​​Update on Missing Coach, DaSilva Strikes Gold, A True Hawaii Hero, Trump's Turkey Talk, An Italian Man Who Crossdresses, Hegseth's War On Boy Scouts and Pitbulls Kill Girl! Watch Nick on the FREE RUMBLE LIVE LINEUP at 6pm ET https://rumble.com/TheNickDiPaoloShow MERCH SALE! From now until December 10 th get 20% off Everything in our store. So grab some mugs, winter hats, hoodies, long sleeve shirts, stickers etc. from our store! https://shop.nickdip.com/ HOLIDAY VIDEO FROM ME – Send someone a personal holiday greeting from me! Go to https://shoutout.us/nickdipaolo or www.cameo.com/nickdipaolo and order one in time for Christmas. SOCIALS/COMEDY- Follow me on Socials or Stream some of my Comedy - https://nickdipaolo.komi.io/

That's a turkey, folks. Or is it? Welcome to the live lineup. Start the clock, jerk off. Where you get my show, you get Lauder with Crowder, all these other great shows. You get them for free. If you want to watch it all ad-free, sign up for Rumble Premium. And don't forget to download the Rumble app.

Before I forget, happy Hanukkah. Today, I'll be talking about, we've got an update on our favorite football coach, and it ain't good. A girl named De Silva strikes gold when hit by a train and lost a couple limbs. Well, how's that? Well, you know. We also got a heartwarming story

since the holidays. It ends sadly, as all stories do here on the show. Guys saved two kids in Hawaii. And we got... You fucking Heg-Seth on loads on the Boy Scouts. Or should I call it the... Fag scouts. I love what they're doing.

I, you know, I'm on the internet this morning watching a live clip of a car accident and the guy that started the accident and starts charging a female cop. She's trying to tase him. Gets on top of her. Tries to get her gun out. Luckily, the male partner shows up. Hate to start, you know, it's not being sexist. I'm not going to fucking apologize.

Women shouldn't be cops, period. That's simple. Set up before you, an army is as strong as its weakest soldier, okay? And it puts this guy in danger and the other two male cops, trying to, you know, subdue this guy from getting her gun. Again, DEI remnants. When you do that, they'll go, yeah, but, you know, they can shoot a gun just as good as a guy.

There's some sharpshooters that, oh, that's not what I'm talking about, is it? Nice try on the pivot. That'll be their fucking argument. I'm all excited about the 19-hour drive. Kept me up last night. Leaving right after this, aren't you? Right after the show, yes. Figured at nighttime's better, you know what I'm saying?

Tees. You know what I'm saying? Tees. All right. I don't know. What I do yesterday, but I don't know. What did you do, anything? I edited.

Yeah? He shoots snuff films in his garage during the week to make ends meet. That's when I knew I had a shitty agent. The first movie role he got me was playing a woman in a snuff film. They said I was very good. I'm good at playing dead in bed. Anyways, yeah, looking forward to the motel sixes and the red roof ends all the way to fucking Connecticut. Anyways, I just, you got to do what you're going to do sometimes.

I'm not asked to do much. So my wife says, I think I do plenty. I'm selling weed during the day, cutting lawns, I get a paper route. What the fuck? I'm running on two hands here. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? I'm sorry, the cars are my name, Jimmy.

I'm so, it's how bad my memory is. I have my whole night planned. Oh, I thought if somebody came in. I have my whole night planned around watching the bro. Because I have myself convinced all the day they were on. So I go, I record everything, as you know. And I go to my wife, well, let's do a three, two or three episodes of Jeopardy. So I'll let the recording build up.

That's what I do. I can't watch anything in real time because I'm impatient. And after the first Jeopardy, I flip over and it says Bruins Island is Wednesday night. Not last night tonight. And I'm like, what the fuck? Oh, I was, you know, I did my stories, did shit for Gutfeld, they'd get my work out of the way, planning the whole fucking night. So I go, oh, for Christ's sake, we go back to playing Jeopardy, right?

Then I go, it's quarter of 11. I didn't, I go, I didn't want to start the Bruins game this late. My wife goes, did on on. I'm breaking my heart twice within 10 minutes. What the fuck? It's a matter of time before I'm shitting the kitchen sink. So I watched, uh, you know, One of those police crime shows with, uh, is it, is Elizabeth Vargas?

Probably not. She's fucking, she was really smoking. Everybody's getting so fucking old, except for me. She's the host and I'm like, what the fuck? These people you don't see for a few years? Anyway, that's still a banger. Let's, uh, let me get out of this hole I dug for myself. I thought I had something else for you guys.

Fucking life is so bored. Potential big upsets Saturday. could disrupt the whole thing. Yes. We brought this up yesterday, but yes, obviously the number one being number one Ohio state is it at Michigan? I believe it is. At Michigan.

If you guys don't know anything about college football, that is as ugly a rivalry as they gets. You put that up there with the Bruins and Canadians, Yankees, Red Sox. They'll tell you it's fucking way worse than that. And when they say if we only win that game, it makes out, they're not fucking kidding. My brother lived in Ohio. I go, that's bullshit. I'm telling you, they don't give a fuck.

They win that game. And I've told this story before. Woody Hayes was the famous coach of the Ohio State Buckeyes for years. Old guy. You always had white hair glasses and mean as a snake. And he was recruiting a kid that was in Michigan, right over the Ohio State line. And on the way back, he was recruiting. was in his car. And way back, he runs out of gas. And it was like two miles, I think, from the Ohio

state border. And there was a gas station, not even 500 yards away. He wouldn't get gas there because he didn't want the tax money going to the school from Michigan. So he had some guy helped push it with his car. I've heard that a million times. I've read it. It's got to be true. And if you have any doubts whether that's true or not, this one sealed it for me. And this is the one that sealed his fate. I still remember it. I'm in my brother-in-law, David Bevin's bedroom, watching, it's like a Friday night. Ohio State Clemson, I still remember it.

It's near the end of the game. Ohio State's down. They're getting upset. Some guy picks off a pass for Clemson, runs out of bounds right into the Ohio State bench area. All of a sudden, you see an old man come running up, grab his face mask, and start trying to pound him through the face mask. Woody Hayes. I fucking, I'm like to my mom. my brother-in-law, get in here.

Get in. They must have showed it 10 times. Guy had to be 70. Had to be. Fucking hat falls out. He fucking trying to punch the linebacker in the fed. Oh, my God. He was gone next day.

After all those years. They're like, that's enough. That's a kind of coach you want. You don't want a coach trying to molest the cheerleaders. Now he's hiding out. Right? Anyways, we'll follow up on that coach again. he was revered as small-town football uh sion twice named coach of the year and expected to shepherd his

undefeated varsity squad through a crucial playoff game Saturday now here's the difference between him and woody if this happened to Woody and it's a middle of an undefeated season are the right to go to the playoffs he goes yeah he touched a girl but i'm still showing up this is important now he's a fugitive at the center of this coach As you remember, he's been missing for, I don't know, a week of a frantic manhunt, wanted on child porn. Who said that? Who said he probably touched a young girl or whatever? I'll make another prediction right now to show you my sooth-slaying talents.

They're going to find him dead somewhere in a hotel room or somewhere, gunshot to the head, I'm guessing. Self-inflicted. I'm guessing. Although a lot of guys like this are too cowardly to even do that. so I don't know, wanted on child porn and solicitation of minor charges. That boy is a P-I-G-Pig. The stunning case has upended the quintessentially all-American life of Travis Turner after he bolted from his home in rural Appalachia, Virginia,

last week as cops closed in to discuss the disturbing allegations against him. Remember they were going to his house and he wasn't there? He was named Coach of the Year. Wow, that's not going to sit. well with the committee, by the Harold Correa in 2021, with a glowing profile describing him as an emotionless and unflappable league. Well, he's flappable. This got him all flapped up with laser-like focus on pussy. What? Got. On laser-like focus at a community where football is king. But it all came crushing down Thursday night when cops arrived at Turner's home near the end

of a cul-de-sac in the tiny town of about 1,200. Oh, that's going to get around fast. To talk to discuss serious criminal allegations against him. They insisted they were not there to arrest him. Or they'd be there to have a beer. Turner, they were told was en route, but he was nowhere to be found. I'm going to find out what that hell happened here. I hope so, Senator.

On Tuesday, Virginia State Police revealed they issued a warrant for the married dad's arrest on five counts. of possession of child pornography and five counts of using a computer to solicit a minor. Cops said additional charges are pending and that Turner is now considered a fugitive. What happened to that show? There was a show a couple of years ago's on TV and it was young kids, young guys and girls at like college age. I can't even remember the name of it, But they were like internet cops, but they weren't cops. They were doing it on their own because I think one of the girls was molested as a kid or something. And that was the show.

They were in a room and they would call. They would get a list of wanted predators and stuff. And they would call and set them up. And the girls would act like, you know, they were in their 20s. They would act like there was 16 and stuff. And they were really good at it. I had to shut it off. Yeah, it was a great show.

I'm like, finally something, fucking gone. Anytime I like something, it's gone. I swear on my mother's eyes, my wife has been witness to this. My favorite apple, Brayburn, the day I declared it was my favorite apple. That was five years ago. I haven't seen one since. Nowhere. Nowhere to be fucking found.

Somebody tell me where the Brayburns are. I swear to God. Or I got a pair of jeans. Finally, jeans that fit right. nowhere to be found. I actually have five pair of jeans now. I'm like a bitch, but that I always had a stack on the left that I couldn't fit into. It's a little too heavy.

Now I have five pair, five or six that are too big for me. It's great. I think I'm dying. Yes. Yes. Are you guys going to pig out on Thanksgiving? I don't know. See, I got the, you know what?

I'm doing the heroin. so the stomach has shrunk. I eat like a fucking cheeseburger, and that's it. Which is gay. Enough of this behavior. I told you it's Thanksgiving, right? It does not sound like a turkey. Anyways, so he's a fugitive of the coach.

Turn his wife of 25 years. This poor lady, Leslie, who Facebook page is filled with photos of her hubby and son on the gridiron denied the allegations of sexual misconduct telling the Daily Mail. None of that is true, which is what a woman's going to do. This is the nature of a... She doesn't want to believe it. And she won't

until they show her the evidence. And then she'll turn into a snake and just destroy, I mean a good snake and fucking destroy him, which she should. What a horrible. Right? Right before... Think about this. Right before Thanksgiving, your husband's a few

of child pornography. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody. He's going to be in the woods somewhere. I really, I just, it was in my bones that this is why he was in trouble in the first place. I swear to God, I just think. She said he's a good dad. No, he was a good dad. Are you saying the cops are lying?

And a good husband, and we want him home, except for my daughter. That's a good one. That's it, added Leslie. You better stop talking, honey. I wish you were right. I'm going to stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? Wait, the family's gone through enough.

Take it easy, Dennis Farina. On Friday, she posted and then deleted a message that said, I just wanted to get on here for a second to clear up something. As of right now, 10.25 p.m. on Friday night, Travis is missing, and that's all we know. So it's coming up in almost a week. Our community is hurting right now. Many of us grew up with Travis Turner as a coach, a mentor, familiar face at school events,

one former Union High student wrote. Some said that a lot of people knew, that's in quotes, about the allegations for years, and also that there were also rumors of others involved in various comments across local social media show. It remains, after I graduated high school, one of my coaches got caught dating a senior. Boy, guys can't be, you can't be around them. You just, I know, not all, but I'm just saying. You know what I mean? Anybody with me?

No, okay. But the thing about this guy, they are like, they are a tradition in that town. His dad was a great coach and a great player before that. He was a quarterback for his dad. His father coached him in high school. I think it's the same high school. He's a quarterback. They've always had this winning.

They are like the Turner family, like the Harbaas, you know. And what a fucking horrible holiday. My God. I doubt they'll be doing any toast to him. Anyways. Watch this. You know how to do that? You're going to have to do that now.

When I bring up shit, seriously. That makes for a great show. Fucking guy, I didn't think you know how to do it. Sitting here with a fucking A-list of producer. fucking ratting on me. That was great. Make it like a real podcast. That was Woody Hayes in all his glory. And that was it for him, the coach, the school. You know, he's kind of a Bobby Knight. I don't know who was meaner. Bobby Knight to me was the most, I would have never been able to play for that guy. Six, seven, or six, eight, and as mean as a fucking, he tried to choke one of his

plays. They had him on camera. I would have fucking, oof. Oof. Oof. for but the great Woody. And then you had Bo Schembeckler for Michigan, who was there for, as long as Woody was there, it was Bo Schembley at Michigan. And they would talk shit in the papers about each other. And then they'd shake hands and laugh about it. But

what a fucking. And it hasn't simmered down. And Michigan's very mediocre. Like, well, I think they were ranked 18th. But they got Ohio State who's undefeated number one in the country. If I'm Ohio State, I'm like, woof. And they've had trouble beaten Michigan last few.

years. Yes, this will be interesting. Hey, the holidays are coming and everything in our merch store is 20% off from now until December 10th. So head to Nick Dip.com. We'll click the link below and grab a winter hat, a hoodie, a nerdy sweater vest. No, we don't have those. A long sleeve shirt, some mugs.

And we also have hip boots if you like to fish. And DePaolo, fresh. These are new girdles. I didn't know women wore girdles anymore. I heard they're flying off the shelf in the fat areas, Wisconsin. All right, let's move on. Shall we? De Silva strikes gold.

And you're like, well, it must be about a UFC fighter. You guys will laugh if you follow UFC at that line because every other fighter from Brazil. His name is De Silva. I don't know why. A student tourist whose left arm and left leg were severed. when she fainted and tumbled in front of her Brooklyn subway train has landed a nearly $82 million jury verdict. That can buy a lot of new arms and legs.

Next time I see she's going to look like an octopus or a tarantula. Whatever. Fucking king crab. That's a lot of arms and legs. That's a lot of, I can hear Trump sit there. That's a lot of arms and legs. Louisa Jansen Harger DeSilva. Too bad she didn't lose one of her names.

I'm on fire, folks. Of Brazil, it was awarded the massive sum last week in Brooklyn Federal Court over her rail horror in 2016. So that's nine years ago when she was 21. That makes her 30. Beautiful young lady. De Silva was on a platform with her boyfriend when she fainted.

Probably the smell. probably August, and fell onto the Atlantic Avenue tracks where an oncoming train ran her over. I don't understand this. I couldn't find footage of her. It does. It hurts when you lose an arm and a leg. Can you fucking imagine the timing? You faint as the train's pulling in.

And I don't understand. They say run over. She couldn't have been completely run over because that will crush you. I don't understand. Even this, though, how you don't bleed out or nearly a decade later, boy, don't the court system work beautifully. Ten years later, she could have been hit by another train by that, missing her head. A jury sided with her and her legal team in finding that the MTA failed to take the issue of people falling on to train tracks seriously. Well, yeah, it's been happening forever in New York.

Put up a fence, an electric fence. I just solved it. an electric fence. The woman's suit argued that the MTA had 15 years of data showing that it was a moral certainty that innocent people, such as the plaintiff, would fall onto the tracks if the authorities did not take steps to install platform edge safety devices. There's one other way you can save people from this. You don't stand there at the fucking edge.

Especially in New York. I have great instincts. The day I moved there, you know, I was taking the subway. And I fucking, I have eyes. My head's on a swivel because I'm a paranoid fuck anyways. I've said this many times. Especially if I see a pack of brothers coming down the stairs. I will fucking be behind them no matter where they are.

They could be leaning up against the wall and I'd try to shimmy in behind them. Yeah, oh, you're racist. Yeah. Now, I get good instincts. Okay? It didn't have to be a brother either. It could be a crazy, you know, Puerto Rican, Dominican. A person of color.

No white people push people in front of trains. Show me if they do, right? Maybe a fucking Lionel train on Christmas. You get to fight with your brother. But that doesn't go to stick. You don't lose an armor leg. One of the plaintiffs' lawyers, David Lee Roth said, David Roth said the failure to act in the face of a known preventable hazard

is the definition of negligence. there's a gay guy boarding the train. Not sure why they show that. This is here because it shows how those barriers could be atolled. I know, but it's a gay guy going through the barriers. I don't like it. Oh, that's just true.

Yeah, yeah. Coming from Target. The guy in front of him. I'm talking about the guy, but yes, probably him and his boyfriend just picked up some fucking, you know what, some rainbow swimsuits. A pack of rubbers. The empty, they don't use rubbers.

That's why they die to AIDS. All right. Don't get technical. Ba-da-bang. Bing. The MTA has appealed the case saying it disagrees with the verdict. Really? They disagree with the 80-me, $2 million verdict?

Rep. Tim Minton. He's the one who said that. Who gives a fuck what you think? Yeah, we know what you think. She looks happy. I don't think she's got to be missing an arm and leg there. But they're like, you know what you're going to make? Last year, another man who lost an arm and a leg.

Can you imagine the track must be covered with limbs? Got those guys like stabbing. You know the prisoners you see on the side of the road picking litter up? Yeah, nine arms. Put some onions and mushrooms on. You got a shigababah. Shigabab. A shabab.

Wait a minute, that's a terrorist group. Shishkabab. Last year, another man who lost an arm and leg when he drunkenly fell onto the tracks and was hit by a subway train was initially awarded a staggering $90 million. Is there a train around here, Dallas? I mean, this arm is killing me anyway. the award was knocked down by a judge in June to just under $40 million. Well, how the fuck is you going to pay the rent with that?

At trial, internal MTA documents revealed that the transit agency was offered. Listen to this. Proposals to install platform doors. Listen to this, at no cost as far as back as 2011. This happened five years later. With the idea being that the company who put up the barriers would make money by being allowed to offer advertisers, on the structures, which if you guys don't think that's a big deal in the subway, you can't walk two feet without a movie poster. And then when you get on the trains, I used to, I had a great

bit about it. Colin said it was my best joke ever. Anyways, I've told it on the show before. It had to do with John Rocker saying I was sitting next to a gay guy, a woman with purple hair, a pregnant woman, a Dominican. And then you look at the signs, it's like, can't speak English. And everybody's saying he was racist and making it up. Every sign was like, can't Can't speak English? Dial 9-7-6. Look, injured in action, 47, 5. Pregnant, need help. Da-ba-ba-ba.

Everything was covered in the goddamn thing. One of the no-cost platform door proposals from industry leader, Favily, they are good. Favily transit was called impressive. Even the MTA said the proposal was impressive. Yet no further study of platform barriers occurred between then and when DeSilva lost half of her appendages, Jenna said, adding that the MTA walked away from the free offer.

Yeah, that's fucking lawyers, man. They can dig it up. It's hard to argue that, isn't it? Not really their fault, but, I mean, if this, if somebody offers you a way to prevent it for nothing, that makes it your fault now. And there still isn't shit up there. We have a clip showing you what can happen. And this is a real clip that happened in another country.

But check this off. In an incident in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a woman who was apparently intoxicated, fell under a train. Fortunately, the train was about to stop. And with the help of bystanders, she was rescued and taken to the hospital by emergency personnel. Miraculously, she escaped an incident unharmed, as if given a second chance at life. Let's see that again. In an incident in Buenos Aires, Argentina, a woman who was apparently intoxicated fell under

a train. Fortunately. That's going to leave a mark. No. She gets up and she went to fucking gymnastics an hour later. There's people who die slipping in the tub every day. You can look that up. That's not even a joke. People who fall off ladders in their living room die. Unreal. What do I got to do to kill them? This bitch. That was a quote from the train driver. And I had another one. I was, I'm like, yeah, it's the holidays.

You probably, it was all over the internet. A few years ago, white guy, New York subway system standing there in the other front, like a stoop, fucking airphones. And black guy comes running in. Here comes the train. Here's the guy standing. Black kid, as the trains, it pushes him in front of the fucking train. I don't know. I just haven't seen a white person do that yet. I'm a little disappointed. Let's move on to a real Hawaii hero, and I'm not talking about a sandwich with pineapple and poy. A Florida sailor stationed in Hawaii, a sailor, mind you, a guy in the military, a patriot, died after he, after heroically rescuing two children in the Waipa's Bay. Are you interested in the real story?

I am. Master at Arms. Where did he get these? I asked you about these military. I was at Navy, so they have a weird rank structure. I don't get it. But I get the rank structure in the Army. No, I know. Those words there, I got to ask you about, too. I just don't understand.

Master at Arms. I'll tell you who isn't a Master at Arms, that girl who fell in front of the subway in the last story. You're going to tag that on to the other one. Master of Arms, first class, Jeffrey Diaz, 47 of Florida, died Saturday, according to a news release. Jesus. from the Kauai Police Department,

Diaz, who was stationed at the Pacific Missile Range facility in Barking Sands. How big is Hawaii? Every time I talk about it, there's something like, jumped into the water to rescue two children who were struggling in the high surf, according to the release. While the children made it back to shore safely,

I'm trying to figure out how that happened. He must have swam with him and got him close enough, and then he just police said Diaz encountered trouble in the way encountered trouble. What did Hamas show up? What?

What? Dillinger on a raft. What? Police said Diaz encountered trouble in the water. Personnel with Ocean Safety Bureau and Barking Sands Fire and Emergency Services Department

later pulled Diaz from the water and began life-saving efforts. He was taken to Kauai Veterans Memorial Hospital where he was pronounced dead. That's why I never had kids. I'd stand there and go, hey,

you got yourself in that mess. Me and Mama getting lunch. We are heartbroken by the passing of our shipmate and friend MA1, first class Jeffrey Diaz, and extend our sincerest condolences to the family, friends and shitmates

who are grieving, who said that. Captain Bob Prince, commanding officer of the Pacific Missile Range Facility. He wrote that somewhere on a wall. We are grateful to the emergency responders, sailors, and their family members who provided immediate assistance. And we remain committed to supporting his family and those affected as we navigate this difficult time together. He's trying to save kids, God. Did you hear that?

He was trying to save a couple of your miracle creations. And you're up there. I don't know, playing cards. with fucking Rodney Dangerfield and Anne Hache, instead of paying attention. This is where I get so confused about religion. An autopsy is pending to determine the cause of death. But police noted, and I'm glad they said this,

foul play is not suspected. They thought they saw a shark with a fucking Glock, but they were mistaken. Fowl play. What murder. One of the kids had a pocket knife. Maybe he was set up. The kids weren't even real.

And it was an ex-wife. They were fighting over a custody battle. A couple of midget. Little people. They're very good at the beach because they look even littler when they're caught in a fucking wave 60 feet. Then you get up to them. You're like, you're just a little person. Anyhow.

Oh, my teeth hurt. I was bragging how these didn't hurt anymore. Remember they were going to yank. him and I canceled the appointment? Yeah, I started chewing bubble gum last night like I was fucking Sparky Anderson, coaching the Tigers. And something started to hurt.

Anyways, let's move on to one of the funniest presidents ever to walk into the White House. Well, the funniest. Who is sillier than this fucking guy? In a good way. And then when something like this comes up where he doesn't have to be serious, he's fucking drooling,

President Trump hosted the annual turkey pardon. Yes, there's a lot more important shit going on. the Ukraine, Russia thing. But, you know, I read yesterday, two days ago, it looks like they're going to work. Today I read Russia's still bombing. That's why I'm not talking about that shit anymore. I'll talk about it when it's all solved.

Poor Rubio's been going back and forth. What a job that is. You think Hillary would have lost 500 pounds of fat fuck when she did it. She put on 500 because I remember her saying, you just sit around what you do. You're on a plane. President Trump hosted the annual Turkey pardon at the White House on Tuesday, joking that he was he was also repardoning, repartening last year's

birds also. And here he is explaining why he's going to do that. Because you remember last year after a thorough and very rigorous investigation by Pam Bondi and all of the people at Department of Justice, the FBI, the CIA, the White House counsel's office, and the Department of. Everything. We have a department of everything. You know what that is? I think that's called the White House. Into a... It's killing the turkey. Terrible situation caused by a man named Sleepy Joe Biden. He used an auto pen last year for the turkey pardon.

So I have the official duty to determine, and I have determined that last year's turkey pardons are totally invalid. Who put him up to that? Is that... Bondi and Exit. Oh, is that Bondi? Yes, it is. I thought it was Heggseth hitting on, you know who, Heggs, uh,

on Caroline Leavitt. Look at him. Bonnie. Heggseth. Couple more Budweis as they'll be in the back laughing together. Fucking shirts off.

Turkey's named Gobble and Waddle. Wasn't that a famous double player? Tinkers to Evidence to Chance. But before that it was garbles to waddle to fucking poopie. Said to be the plumpest birds. See that picture? They literally got them a hotel room.

That's not fake. They showed that on the fucking news yesterday. Well, said to be the plumpest. You don't want to be the plumpest around this time of year, I guess, right? I am your voice. Yeah, he's speaking. Shut up. They are pretty plump.

Y'all fat fuck, look at you. When I first saw their pictures, I was going to call them. Senate minority that Chuck Schumer and former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. But then I realized I wouldn't be pardoning them. I would never pardon those two people. He's got to, uh, Trump taunted, noting I wouldn't care what Melania told me. Gobble and Waddle as well as Biden's last two turkeys would add four more feathers to Trump's clemency cap. Ooh, somebody's getting cute right in the article. Uh, and by the way, somebody, uh, I saw one review of Louis book because he sent the review.

out in a newsletter. And some guy who loved it, obviously. And then like, the guy's like, something tells me he's got, that he's just beginning or whatever.

And he can pay, he mentioned some big names like Faulkner and, you know, he pointed out a few things. And it's like, don't get picky. Can you just fucking, but he had high,

you know, and it's true. I'm telling you. When it's said and done, this fucking guy could write a book between lunch and dinner. That mind is scary. fucking smart. Trump had notched about

1747 pardons since January 20th. I like how the article gets all serious now. To post a review of the, oh, and by the way, I read today a lot of colleges, I forget which ones they mentioned tomorrow

on celebrating Thanksgiving. It's called decolonizing day. Can you? Yeah, thank you. Can you fucking imagine? They don't have I told you they don't have fun. There's something wrong with them.

24-7, 365. And if I see one more commercial with a white wife and, you know, somebody of another race, it has to be, or vice versa, and it's two people who would never fucking meet in a million years. It would be a 400-pound black woman

and a fucking, you know, an 18-year-old white kid with freckles, but they're married. Do you ever start preaching, you fucks that run the networks, you're not spot i don't know who makes you do this i'm giving you guys a challenge my wife goes nuts now because i'm not nice about it but and i started doing this year but

but i read in a book and this is like 25 years ago i think it was that book slouching towards come do you know it's in writing it's a law in hollywood that a person of color has to be represented in so many commercials a year well what's wrong with that well there's actors white actors is an actor, you know, trying to get jobs too. And every commercial opens on, I'll say it again. If you weren't from this country or from another planet and you watch TV for five minutes,

you'd be like, what is this country? 90, 10, black to white? Overrepresented. I'm fucking tired of it. Doesn't mean I dislike black people. I'm just tired of people trying to pull the fucking wool. They're preaching to you around the clock. That's all it is.

Same with those stupid reality games like Survivor. They're just telling, those are all tools. They use entertainment under the guy. They're brainwashing you. It's, you know, naked and afraid. It's always men and women competing against. That's all that is. Look at the new Nike commercials.

They'll have, you know, fucking Paul, who's the basketball player? Grab anyone. A white player, a superstar, whatever, fucking throwing a ball and the WMBA girl will catch it. She'll throw it to another. All that fucking shit. All that shit and bought. Fuck that.

It's all mind control. It's subconsciously, and I'll use Hicks. Again, they taint the collective unconscious. I think that's what he said. I just can't help it. My wife can't even watch TV near me anymore. It'll open on a black person, and I'll just go, there's one.

There's another one. I stopped doing it for 10 years. I started 20 years. Can imagine my poor one? Now I brought it up again. I can't take it. Same with fucking Jeopardy. I haven't seen a Jeopardy show

where there were three street fucking contestants in the last fucking five years. It's an agenda. Look out for it. I just ruined TV for you. According to a post review, the orders were about 16,

I forgot what I was even reading about. 1,600 for January 6 defendants and others going to some high-profile figures, including we're talking about the pardons Giuliani why are they bringing this up? Botox loving rep George Santos they couldn't end it at the turkey thing

they can't fucking leave probably AI do this too I did a little AI test last night just ask it a question that's totally right wing or whatever you know why are black people

overrepresented in commercials and they'll give you the most peace see, that's just a, that's just a stereotype. They actually aren't. They make, they will fuck it. Why are black people so violent? Actually, that's a stereotype, blah, blah, blah. Well, no, there's facts that young black males.

You can even, whatever. And I'm not black people. I'm not attacking. I'm just saying, AI is a bunch of bullshit. Oh, it's going to take over the world. Not if you know how to defeat a liberal. Because that's where the dad is coming from. What a great fucking.

What a great monologue I just did for 11 people all week. Nobody in front of me. Anyways, let's move on to Mamma Mia, Papa Dea. This is a good one. This cracked me to fuck up. An Italian man is accused of dressing up as his dead mom to claim her pension. And let me tell you, as an Italian person, a lot of them don't age well, the women.

my grandmother, my dad's mother, looked just like Bill Parcells. Nice head of white hair. Kind of. She had the same glasses and shit. Anyways, she was pretty when she was young. I'm just saying, you know. And then some other ones don't even have a wrinkle when they're 80. I never met one.

But anyways, the man whose name has not been released by authorities is the son of Graciela da Oglio, who died in 22 at age 82. in the town of Borgo Virgilio, close to the city of Mantua. Montua. What do you do to that dick in bed? Montua on that, motherfucker. Spokeperson at the Mantua police.

So this guy's mother dies. I guess that's her on the left. I'm not sure. Looks like every defensive coordinator in the SEC. And that's him on the right, putting a fucking wig on and going down to get. That's just, I was talking about black. people, let me tell you about real Italians. They'll scam anybody.

Police say the man, a former nurse, who is currently unemployed, did not report her death to the authorities. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. I take your mother in. When the elderly woman's identity card expired, the son put on makeup a wig and her clothes in order to pose his mother

and renew her card. Something that must be done in person in Italy. It sounds like a movie. Huh? It's not, oh my God. What's Italian for Doubtfire? Right? Or Tootsie.

This is La Tutsia. Some like it hot. Some like it hot. There you go. Oh my God. This is a movie. You're right. They're going to fucking go with Tutsi, Dustin Hoffman.

It won an Academy Award, by the way. That's so funny. Excuse me. It reminds me of the military show that we used to love. A couple of playing are more right, sir. Please, sit down. Thank you. It is.

And then he goes, I should have let the clip go. He goes, I usually don't wear full length on a Wednesday or something. And Henry goes, oh. Guys who are too young out there, guys and gals, I don't know if you're familiar with MASH. Most of the years are. But if you're not, start from episode one, as good as any show. And for years, it was the highest rated show of the last episode. It was like Super Bowl ratings.

It was that well written and fucking funny. And Frank Burns to me was one of the greatest characters of the history. He was an amaculated captain. He was a captain, wasn't he? Burns. He's just an masculated fucking little whiny crybaby bitch. And he was dating Hutt Lips Hulahan, the Hutt blonde. And she was always talking about some other general, General MacArthur or somebody.

And he'd always get jealous. and she was talking to some general that she used to date and she met with them in Japan or something came back for the weekend and she's like, yeah, Sergeant So-and-So just got another promotion to whatever. And Frank looks at her, he goes, I killed a gopher with a stick once. I think she said he, oh Margaret said he crushed a bear can

with his bare hands. I killed a gopher with a stick one. Fucking guy, I hope he won't get Emmys. He's dead too, by the way. However, the agent who processed the application suspected foul play and notified authorities who called the alleged Mrs. D'Auglio back to the municipal office. Surveillance footage of the parking lot shows that the man drove to the office dressed as his mother despite the fact that she didn't hold the driver's license.

Police met him there. Offices then went to the elderly woman's home address and found, listen to this, Here's where it gets interesting. Found her mummified body in the laundry room closet wrapped in sleeping bags. You know how Italian sons are with their moms and vice versa. I'm not going to let her go. I'm a lover.

She's fucking, meanwhile, she's... Smells like fucking Pomajon Reggiano. The man is accused of concealing a corpse, fraud against the state, impersonation, and forgery, and now he's got a residency at the MGM grant. Doing all kinds of impressions. I don't like your jerk off name. I don't like you jerk off face.

I don't like your jerk off behavior. And I don't like you jerk off. He's accused of removing fluids. What? He's accused of removing fluids from his mother's body. It was a very dry cabernet. With a syringe to prevent decomposition. An autopsy has been ordered to determine how she died.

What are you doing, dude? I swear to God, it's probably out of love for his mom. Or they hated each other. State pension fraud is common in Italy with a bunch of greasy guineas trying to steal shit. With dozens of people arrested every year for impersonating someone who, this happens a lot. There's a game show. The fucking Masked Guinea. The mass criminal.

There it is. Died to collect their pension, according to statistics from the Italian financial crime police known as the Guardia de Fonzza. Oh, I like that. That's going to be my screen name. As the country's death registries and public services are not always in sync, it can take years to report

deaths, which means that pension checks continue to be sent out until someone notifies the local pension office from which they are dispatched. And you can understand all the confusion since you have half Africa living there now. And that's true. Unfrikan believable.

It's unbelievable, ladies. gentlemen. I got to take a power nap before I hit the fucking road after the show. Just a quick one, you know, about four hours. Let's move on.

Hegseth goes to war against the new Boy Scouts. U.S. Secretary of War smoking Pete Hegseth cut ties with the scouting America.

That's what it's called now, by the way. over its embrace of gender ideology and diversity, equity, and inclusion policies. Isn't this law now? I'm pretty sure it is. Just ignoring the old president, are you? The group, which used to be called the Boy Scouts of America before it went gender neutral, they could replace that with bat shit crazy, has become an organization designed to,

In quotes, he said, attack boy-friendly spaces. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags. That's Higgsith talking. Hegson said in a draft memo to Congress first obtained by NPR. Here's a little refresher course, for those of you who have forgotten, how DEI destroys everything in its path under the guise of inclusion.

I wrote that. Pretty good, huh? Let's cut to this girl who was probably Hutt 12 years ago. More than a century of the Boy Scouts of America, the organization is changing its name to scouting America. Officials say the new name will reflect all the changes they've made over the last few years to be more inclusive for girls and the LGBTQ community. They started allowing gay youth in 2013 and girls in 2016. Today, the organization has over one million scouts. More than 176,000 of those scouts are female.

Tab tits, all excited about that. That's called Not Including. You're called the Boy Scouts of America. You're not being inclusive when you don't let girls into something called the Boy Scouts of America. Even though there's the Girl Scouts. I'm sure fucking gay guys can join that now. They didn't change that name, did they?

How about Filty Hors of the United States? How's that sit with you? By the way, is it the Brownies? No, the Girl Scout. Who's the broad that discovered them? She's from here, remember? There's a picture of her. She looks like Shemp Howard.

I go. who's that guy? Andy almost fell off. Julia Gordon. Dallas knows Julia Gordon. I'll ask him the fucking, I don't know, I'll ask him the, nah, he knows that too. What's with all the buttons? How many carcks did he suck?

And let me tell you something. I wouldn't let my son, and I've said this before, I get nervous letting him play Little League if I had one. I don't like adults around kids, for the most part. Little League, I'll give it a shot, because I can see what's going hopefully. But no, I would, that's like ringing the dinner bell for the petos. You know how many petos must have rushed to become, what do they call them, lead troop

fucking, right? Oh, I'll head up the fucking boy, you know. The U.S. military has provided support to the scouts for more than 100 years. You know, anytime they go to war, we send the Marines with them. And assistance was formalized in 1937. There you go. That's what passes as a troop leader right there. Kevin, look at that.

The first thing I'll teach you kids today is how to pull this handkerchief out of your ass. Higgs' proposal, it's all nodded, Heg's this proposal calls for the Pentagon to no longer provide medical and logistical aid to the national jamboree. Why, is there a lot of violence at the jambore? And for the military to no longer allow scout troops to meet at military installations in the United States. I love it. I fucking love it. and I know you people on the left, your heads must be exploding.

How stupid, how prejudicial, how stereotypical, how archaic. Yeah. All that shit and more. Why can't boys have their own space? That's the question. You women don't like dicks in the locker room, I heard. Doesn't it? Isn't it two-way street?

Let boys be fucking boys. Pretty soon you'll have female Eagle Scouts so, and somebody because they, you know, touched her tent by accident, making a campfire. Congress requires the Pentagon to support the organization's jamboree, in which thousands of scouts gather every three or four years at a remote site in West Virginia where the pedophiles run wild. Okay, we're going to play hide the baloney. Who's up? Anyways, there's only one way to have a military, and this is how your military should look, all right? Oh, God, do we miss him? He died a few years ago. Mother of God.

And he's up there. Like I said, the Dallas. They made this movie. He was probably already 68. And they're like, we got a stunt guy. Get the fuck out of him. I'll do this myself. My dad went through all that shit at Camp LeJune.

And there's the whole thing about the water that made a bunch of, you know? They got sued Camp LeJune a few years ago because of the water. I wonder how much of that my dad drank. The U.S. military lends, trucks, ambulances, and medical teams. And Ann puts on aviation and skydine. and skydiving. Dallas knows about demonstrations, all at no cost to the scouts.

For the military, it's both a training exercise. See what they're doing on the article. They're trying to say, a military is going to be starved of talent if we don't include everybody. Well, I open the show by talking about a female cop who almost got her two-partner shot. That wasn't made up,

and it happens almost every day. And I know that from my late great friend, Greg Zook. It's both a training exercise and an opportunity to recruit highly motivated. civic-minded kids. See what they're saying? This is how you get them interested in the military. However, the law includes an exempt.

So what's that got to do, letting women in? However, the law includes exemptions, which empowers the Secretary of Defense to withhold support for national security reasons. A draft report allegedly obtained by NPR shows Hegst, citing that clause and accusing scouting America of creating gender confusion. Can you imagine NPR of reading that?

I would love to be a fly in the wall in that fucking... In a memo to the House and Senate Armed Services committees, Hegson reportedly argues that the scouts no longer uphold their mission to cultivate masculine values. How can you argue with that? He also seen... Is that him? No.

He also reportedly argues that diverting military resources for the 10-day youth event would harm national security. What are you doing at that, Jampery? Breaking out the fucking... and shoulder grenades. Hegstiff notably slammed the organization while working as a Fox News host last year for changing the name and allowing girls

to join in 2018. Yeah, breath of fresh air. It is no longer a meritocracy which holds its members accountable to meet high standards, the memo said. Yes. End of story. I wonder if anything will change.

I thought this stuff was in law. Now, I don't know yet. I know college campuses that's in writing. as far as Title IX. Trump's like, no, no more girls in sports. And I know that's, and a few states ignored him. You know, the same usual suspects, Susan Collins of Maine or whatever. Finally tonight, let's end it on something light before Thanksgiving.

Pitbull, praise on pet sitter. I should have moved this one out, but it's in a hurry. A Texas college student was mauled to death and a vicious dog attack while pet sitting, three pit bulls, who her grieving mother said, all seemed to love her before the, yeah, until they don't. That's how it works. They're animals.

My favorite movie ever after the godfather is the one with a guy lived with bears in the woods for a couple of years and then they ate him at the end. Jesus Christ did I laugh my balls off. Ate him and his girlfriend. Terrific ending. Her grieving mother said all seemed to love her before the dog's inexplicably heel turned on Friday. Madison Riley, poor thing.

23 years old. beautiful young lady, was found dead in the backyard of a residential home in Tyler, Texas. Do you know who's from Tyler, Texas? Anybody? Come on, the Tyler Rose, Earl Campbell, my favorite running guy. A neighbor called 911, and deputies with the Smith County Sheriff's Office responded to the scene. By that point, the three pit bulls had already pounced on the poor girl. Here's the deputy sheriff of somebody talking about the incident.

Dogs then diverted their attention, all three of them to him, started coming toward him. And he unholstered his service weapon, and he fired at one of the dogs killing it. Riley's mother, Jennifer Hubble, is still struggling to put the pieces together. That's a bad phrasing by whoever wrote that. As she explained.

Jesus. Girl was torn apart by three put the pieces together. Like she's the fucking, like she's the scarecrow from the wizard. of Oz. As she explained that Riley had highlighted a change in the dog's behavior shortly before the fatal attack. She said that they hadn't always been that way. This is what the girl told her mother. The college student was an experienced dog sitter and avid animal lover. She had previously babysat the family's children for weeks on end and figured looking out the pit bulls would be an

okay situation. You can't compare kids to look at the, what scary is I told the crowd his dog, the dojo, whatever the fucking. They have a, a stronger bite than pit bull. And anyways, but where's Michael Vic when you need them? Riley was just six months away from earning her bachelor's degree from the University of Texas at Tyler. She chose

to special, it's always nice people. Listen to this. She chose to specialize in early childhood education, which Hubble said was in part inspired by her younger brother's experiences growing up with autism. She only wants to make. the world better. A court hearing regard to the two surviving pit bulls are scheduled for Wednesday. Kill them both. I'm so tired of hearing you pit bull owners. They're fine. It's hard you raise them.

Well, apparently a lot of people are raising them wrong. And they're not fine. They're an animal. And I don't hear anybody being torn apart by a fucking Irish setter or a German shepherd or a fucking toy poodle, of course. He's mocking the farmer. He's mocking the guy who's garden, that is. See, that's how people describe pit bulls. They like that. Okay? That's what they do to people. Good one, man.

Food, Thanksgiving. You wrapped it all up nice. What kind of animal is that a woodchuck? Yeah, I'm having that, by the way. Woodchuck. You ever stop it with apples and onions? Oh, my God. That's it, boys and girls.

Don't forget to go to the nickdip.com page. by December 10th, you'll get 20% off if you buy something, off everything in the store, like I said, all the way to December 10th. Or if you'd rather order a personal holiday video from someone like me, you can go to Shout Out, that's shoutout, capital S, capital, o, dot us, us, dot us. Or go to Cameo.com.

And I will send a, you know, I'll say happy Thanksgiving. we can roast your grandmother, your dad, your crazy uncle. That's it, folks. Wish me luck as I get on the highway real soon. And I hope you guys have a great Thanksgiving. Three games on, and one on Black Friday, by the way. You get four NFL games, and then Saturday you get all those great matchups. That's what this holiday is about.

I hope they have cable at the fucking Motel 6 and Waterbury. Excuse me. You guys think it. I'll say it. You're very welcome. I will see you back here on Monday. Again, have a great Thanksgiving. Hi.

Good night, everybody.