The Nick DiPaolo Show - Colin Quinn Part 1 | Nick Di Paolo Show #1222

Episode Date: June 13, 2022

Possible cancer cure. A Florida man... Mistaken identity. Indian woman to practice sologamy. Colin Quinn interview.

Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching and contributing to the show. Every day I read something about a comedian or a comedy producer that supports censorship. Fuck these people. Patton Oswalt. Comedy is meant to be uncensored. Nothing is off limits and if the truth hurts your feelings, then too bad. Change the station. Don't tell anyone else what they can or can't say.

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below this video, or on my website on the top at nickdipp.com. You fuel the show, and I appreciate all your generosity. We can't do it without you. Oh yeah! Welcome! Another Monday! Great state of Georgia. How are you, folks? Good to be with you. Eventful weekend, but I can't mention any because we haven't lived it yet. That's right. What's going on? Oh, today, the Great Colin Quinn. That'll be the thumbnail, too, by the way. The picture of the great Colin

Quinn later on will be my guest. Two-part series. We'll show you the first part tonight. Guy's a legend. Legend in the comedy business. I don't trust anybody that doesn't like Colin. First of all, I haven't met too many people that don't like Colin Quinn's comedy. But the ones that do, I'm like, well, you

just don't know what you're talking about. Well, it's subjective. No, it isn't. No, it isn't. Just like, comedy but the ones that do i'm like well you just don't know what you're talking about well it's subjective no it isn't no there no it isn't just like you know nicholson's a better actress than uh pick somebody hacky fucking amber heard you know i mean you're gonna tell me that's subjective or is that fact objective anyhow so we got qu Quinn coming up at the end of the show and part two tomorrow we're going to play. Let's get right to it, shall we? We shall.

Cancer Crush. This made me a little excited, even though I don't have a cancer. But it could be good news for all of us because I intend on having it. I've been planning in my head since I was, I'm not kidding you,

this is where I'm a little doom and gloom. Since I was a kid, I picture a doctor going, yeah, you got about a year. I just feel that's the way I'm going out. I don't know why. Well, because I did dirty things in my days. Anyways, cancer researchers have seen substantial progress in their quest to eradicate the disease. Well, I would think so. How many trillions have we spent? And you know why it's still around, don't you? Because it's too much money to be made in finding

a cure. A recent clinical, maybe this will change it, A recent clinical trial consisting of 14 rectal cancer patients found they were in complete remission. I'll repeat that. Complete remission with zero side effects after taking Dostaralimab. Dostaralimab. I'm butchering that, but come on. I want this to go for business. Okay? But 14, none of them completely clean, no side effects.

You've got to be excited, folks. This guy is. That was Greek for no tumors. Feel great. In fact, these positive results all occurred without the use of chemotherapy. While the trial was done on rectal cancer patients, researchers believe it could be a potential treatment for many forms of cancer. Dr. Andrea Sarek from Memorial Sloan Kettering explains how the drug works. Take it away, Dr. Sarah.

Immunotherapy, and it works by unlocking the body's natural immune system to fight cancer. And this type of therapy works in specific cancer cells and colorectal that are mismatch repair deficient. So they lack a gene that enables them to repair their DNA. And because of that, they have many, many mutations. And the immune system recognizes the cancer as foreign. And so when we give immunotherapy like to Starlimab, it really just revs up the immune system so that it sees the cancer and gets rid of it.

But what's so remarkable here is that it completely eliminated the cancer. The tumors just vanished in all 14 consecutive patients. Normally, when this is used in colorectal cancer in patients with advanced disease, that happens in about 10% of patients. And here it's 100%. So that's really the most striking part of this is that it happened in every single patient after just six months of therapy.

Imagine that. She looks like that and she's curing cancer. You know what I say to that? The hell with that. Give me a dumb aerobics instructor. No. Unbelievable. That is exciting.

Especially for a guy who's 60. I've had my share of colonoscopies. All they've found so far, they've found a piece of gum, my crown that I swallowed a couple years ago, and, you know, various fingernails. Researchers describe the result as unprecedented and have said they will have to repeat the trial in a larger capacity before they label the drug as a potential cure. Hey, everybody. That's the drug as a potential cure. Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

I think. Excellent news. Yeah, I mean, I'm 60 and that's the way I just, that's my worst nightmare too. Remember John Wayne? Remember what they did? They removed half his stomach, all of his stomach, and they connected his esophagus to his like intestines. There was no, so he threw up, when he threw up, he threw up feces. I mean, I'd say put a gun in my mouth. I don't even want a bag on my hip unless it's got a Red Sox emblem on my mic. Stay around for for you. But that's just gross. Anyways, let's move on, shall we, kids? No, no, no, no! Oh, my goodness gracious, Heloise. In our FLA segment tonight, a Florida man famed for his intense loathing of former president.

Why am I talking like Davy? Former president. Donald Trump has been banned from a community pool this is so sad after berating a woman for her joe biden sucks t-shirt okay what are we doing you know what you're doing what's going on right now imagine even when they're in nursing homes in florida the left is just hateful and they can't let it go because they know they're ed mcinty. I wonder what his nickname is. Oh, look at you. Probably a former New Yorker. 74 years old.

Has long been known in the villages. You know, the villages. That's where... You can't even sleep in the villages. There's so many hips snapping at night. It sounds like crickets. Anyways, in the villages, he's been known for plastering his golf cart with signs denouncing Trump.

I don't know. When you get to the point where you're traveling in a golf cart, can you let your politics go? Maybe enjoy the last eight minutes of your life golfing and grabbing titties at the bingo game. All right? Stop it. Trump and defiantly cruising his community's sleepy streets. The homemade placards often feature blunt language. Biden will kick Trump's

fat ass. Wow, that's some strong language. Read some of McGinty's golf cart copy. He's a genius. What's on his shirt? Hey, what's on that t-shirt, Taylor? That's a naked Trump sitting on Putin's lap. You're right.

I thought it was a big fat baby on Scarface's lap. As a blaring liberal presence, he has a blaring liberal presence and a deeply conservative enclave. McGinty has often skirmished with his fellow retirees since moving to the area from Philly, of course, in 2015. Everybody hates him. I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. How many times do you think he says that at the pool? I don't want to talk to you.

Get away from me. Hey, McGinty, you want to play some pickleball? I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. Hey, McGinty, we're having a cookout tonight on the beach. You coming? I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me.

Hey, McGinty, are these your flip-flops? You left them in the pool room. I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. Hey, McGinty, these are your flip-flops. You left them in the pool room. I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. McGinty, why are you such an asshole? I don't want to talk to you. Get away from me. He's a New Yorker. The confrontations normally peter out after an exchange of...

Of course, they have no blood sugar or hip... Standing like a big girl. Normally, Peter out after an exchange of elderly middle fingers. You know, they're all bent and shit. And some, yeah, you're throwing two S's at me. And some spirited verbal crossfire. But tensions finally boiled over in the lukewarm waters of the village of Hadley Swimming Pool in 2021 after

McGinty spotted a woman wearing a t-shirt critical of President Biden. Oh my God. In America? Is that allowed? Incensed, McGinty called the woman a fat slob. Right away, it goes to the name calling. Ginty called the woman a fat slob. Right away, it goes to the name-calling. Before demanding that she remove the garment, he spiced his demand by referring to her as white trash and said her pool workout was... I kind of like him now. Her pool workout was of limited value due to her girth.

Let me translate that for you in a New York type of way. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. What's he, eight months pregnant here? Look how he's standing. The woman, Liza Atkinson, told police that she later spotted McGinty idling outside her nearby home in his signature vehicle. Look at her. She used to be like, you know who, Sophia Loren. That's not a dress she's on. She's holding a feather duster. Inflaming the suburban standoff still further, Atkinson's garage happened to be fashioned as a shrine to Donald Trump, complete with signs and banners extolling his performances as president. Deputies responded and found McGinty relaxing in

his cart while reading a book. He politely told them that he was exercising, can you imagine at this age, his constitutional rights, but agreed to move his cart down the block to cool the situation. But Atkinson later saw that McGinty had once again parked, he's a real chooch, parked across from her home while still leafing through his volume. He was arrested later that day at his home and hit with a stalking rap. Can you imagine? In the villages. But a judge, probably a lib judge, ruled that past April that there wasn't enough evidence to support the charge against McGinty, so he walked.

You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. You're out of order. While criminally cleared, McGinty still faced another dire punishment. This is funnier than I remember. A ban from the Hadley swimming pool. Citing his harassment of the Biden critic, community officials forbade him from using the facility through November. McGinty petitioned to have the restriction lifted and cited his courtroom triumph

as grounds for a poolside return in time for summer. But after a tense hearing this week, I think I watched this on C-SPAN. After a tense hearing this week, the Sumter Landing Community Development District Board of Supervisors upheld the pool prohibition. So in the end, McGinty... He got what was coming to him.

You can't disrespect and berate others without consequences, Atkinson told the panel. I would ask that you send a message to others to behave civilly and with tolerance. It's the same old beef. God help me when I'm that age. Please tell me I'll be relaxed and on all kinds of drugs. Let's move on, shall we, kids? Mistaken identity.

An Arizona man has sued American Airlines for wrongfully identifying him as a suspect. Wow, what was that? That's like looking at a plant on acid. Wow, man. Look at it. It's a suspect. Wow, what was that? That's like looking at a plant on acid. Wow, man. Look at it. It's a fan. Identified him as a suspect in an airport burglary in Texas. Wait till you hear this, folks. I thought I had

shit luck. Leading to a harrowing 17-day stint in a New Mexico jail where he said he was forced to strip naked. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Yes, take him off, Billy. Michael Lowe was

flying from Flagstaff, Arizona to Reno, Nevada. All the way to Tacoma, Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA. I don't like his mask. Uh... Reno, Nevada on May 12, 2020 with a layover at the Dallas-Fort Worth

Airport. Hmm. Where someone burglarized a duty-free store, the Star-Telegram reported. Surveillance cameras caught the suspect boarding Lowe's flight and American Airlines reported the theft to airport police who ordered the company to

hand over the video and the passenger manifest according to the paper. But the carrier, that means American Airlines, departed from its established procedures and sent police only one passenger's data, Lowe's, according to a lawsuit filed. How do you mess that up? By an attorney, I swear to God, it's done intentionally, for the wrongly accused Grand Canyon tour guide. That's what he did for a living. Can you imagine somebody, he probably gave somebody a dirty look, a flight attendant, and they said, let's fix this guy. At least that's how my paradigm worked.

Hello? On that day, Lowe had two-inch long gray hair and was wearing a mask, while the surveillance footage shows a man with a buzz cut and without a mask, according to the lawsuit. It said the police affidavit described the suspect as a tall and thin white or Hispanic male with a short military-style haircut, black polo shirt, and blue jeans, CBS News reported. Despite the stark difference in the appearances, the airline identified Lowe as the suspect, leading police to issue two arrest warrants for Lowe, one for felony burglary and the other for misdemeanor criminal mischief.

What we've got here is... Can you imagine? ...failure to communicate. I get upset when they run out of sandwiches, and I'm in row 38. Can you imagine? I would have lost my... Here's where I turn into a... I would have lost my shit.

I would have... Then I would have been arrested for, you know... As a result of the mix-up, according to... This guy's an older guy, luckily. According to the suit, Lowe was arrested more than a year later while he was on vacation in New Mexico

on the 4th of July, 2021. Someone called the cops and took a... Took a, took a Macari about an unrelated incident that did not involve him. Dude, this is, I've had dreams like this. This is, can you, you're being wrongly accused by an airline, number one. Now the cops and this is them. He got mad. He finally lost his airline, number one. Now the cops. And this is them.

He finally lost his temper at the airport. Check it out. Get off of me! Get off of me! Get out of the couch! When police arrived, they took everyone's information. This is at the party in New Mexico, right? A year later.

They took everybody's information. They noticed that Lowe had New Mexico, right? A year later. They took everybody's information. They noticed that Lowe had two outstanding warrants from Tarrant County, so they arrested him. What the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? But no one told the befuddled man what crimes he was accused of committing. As he was hauled to jail while insisting they had the wrong man,

according to the Star-Telegram. Finding composure in his knowledge that this was a mistake, Mr. Lowell told his friends, who were only visiting New Mexico, they weren't locals, not to worry, it would all get cleared up quickly. He was so wrong, according to the suit. His protestations were not merely failing, excuse me, falling on deaf ears, but appeared to be antagonizing the jailers, it states. Lowe said he was ordered to strip naked, forced to bend over and cough as he, I did that at my dentist, what's a big deal, as he was searched for contraband before being placed into a general population quarantine pod with violent offenders amid the coronavirus pandemic oh my god low claimed do you guys hear on this uh low claimed in the lawsuit that he slept on the uh concrete floor while in a constant state of fear of

confrontation physical abuse or sexual victimization, like my wife does every day. Say what? It is not, Mr. Lowe. Stop it. A judge told him his only options were to waive extradition, in which New Mexico would transfer him to Texas authorities, or wait for Texas officials to pick him up. A confused Lowe, which I would have been too,

reportedly waived extradition. Imagine you know you're innocent through all this, based on the court's suggestion, still without being appraised of the alleged crime. How do you let it get that far? Don't you go, I want a lawyer. This almost sounds, I don't know. After 17 days in the slammer,

17 days for doing mistaken identity, he was finally released and walked several miles to McDonald's. Folks, it's getting better. There's more. Where he tried to wash himself in the bathroom sink before being kicked out by the McDonald employees. He then took a bus ride to Flagstaff. And you're like, whew, thank God for that. A 12-hour trip,

guess what? Turned into a two-day marathon. Why is that? Because they had mechanical breakdown. Come on. Upon stepping through the threshold of his home, Mr. Lowe allowed himself to sob until he could no longer stand the lawsuit. It's freedom, baby. Yeah. He later found out from a Dallas-Fort Worth airport police detective what charges he had faced, but could not figure out why he had been misidentified. Well, you better find out and make millions, right? I would have lost all.

Dude, he was in jail for 17 days with dangerous people. I mean, in New Mexico jail, it's not a bunch of white Englishmen. Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm hearing. Do you take, next story, do you take you to be a lawfully wedded whore?

Vatadotta, I hate Indian names, Varadara, a 24-year-old woman from Jarat, Javadora, oh, she took the name of her town, is set to marry herself, I'll repeat that, she's set to marry herself on June 11th,

which left a lot of Indian men asking the question, but you don't have opening? No. But why not? Kashama Bindu, a young private firm employee, is all set to tie the knot with herself. Oh, I thought that was her name the other day.

She's going to tie the knot with herself. Into yourself much, narcissist? Oh, I thought that was her name the other day. That was the time. She's going to tie the knot with herself. Into yourself. Into yourself, much narcissist. She's going to tie the knot with herself in what is called sologamy. Or self-marriage. Is that an Italian meat?

Yes. Pompous. Stock up. Snot nose. That's what it sounds like. English. Giant. Twerp. scumbag,

fuckface, dickhead, asshole. Can I get a salagami and prosciutto? Uh, yeah. With mortadella. From the pharaohs to Sindor to a Goa honeymoon,

Bindu is going to get married with all rituals and customs of a Hindu wedding. However, the wedding will be missing a groom. Bindu believes that it is necessary to have a love for each other, each other, in a marriage and said that she loves herself and that is why she is marrying herself you need to shut the fuck up nobody's gonna marry you with a horseshoe in your nose she's in love with us uh why do I have the feeling she's not being one bit ironic this generation I don't care if it's Indian American they are in love with themselves.

They've been told they shit gold since they've been born. They stare at each other. They take selfies. They are literally, wait till she needs to make rent and, you know, we'll see how much you love, see if she'll divorce herself. When she told her parents about her decision, they shot her in the head with a wrist rocket. Parents' decision to enter into slogma. Her parents were astonished

at first, but agreed later. So that makes them Indian assholes. While talking to A&I, she said, I had this idea in my mind for a long time, but didn't think it would be possible. Then I read about salogamy. That's when I thought, let's marry myself. Cuckoo, cuckoo for Coppola. The news of

her marriage gained mixed reactions from the Twitteratis. Some mocked her, and that's where it should end. Some mocked her, while some supported her. Of course, it's Twitter. Her self-acceptance. Oh, fucking idiot! Is that supposed to be her? No. No. That's the mockery.

That's the mockery. Oh, that's... Claiming her marriage to be the first case of salogamy in India, Bindu shared that she decided to come into this uncommon arrangement to set a trend in the country, a trend of stupidity. Do you understand? We have exported our American stupidness. I'm sure this was TikTok or whatever, but whatever. I'm just saying.

I didn't know other cultures would fall into the same trap of idiocy. According to legal experts, the concept of self-marriage is not a binding or a legal affair in India or anywhere else. As per Hindu law, marriage is a religious sacrament in which a man and a woman get a goat, tie it to a tree, and be... No. Man and woman abound in a permanent relationship for the physical, social, spiritual needs for dharma. Dharma and Greg. Procreation and sexual pleasure. Now you're getting to what we were supposed to be talking about. Now you marry yourself. I bet your parents said, go fuck yourself.

She goes, I'm gonna. It's a honeymoon. That's it for the news. Now for the best part of the show today, ladies and gentlemen. Well, that's it for the news. Now for the best part of the show today, ladies and gentlemen. What better way to finish off the Monday show than probably my closest friend in the business. I don't think the feeling's mutual, but I don't have any friends.

But you guys know him, you love him. He invented the best show ever on Comedy Central. Tough crowd crowd not to mention s and l numerous numerous netflix specials with his one-man shows uh unconstitutional long story short kevin mc sally all those uh great ones please welcome the great the legend colin quinn quinny oh look at you i'm i'm dressed like i'm I'm dressed like Kevin McSally from Charlestown right now. Yeah, you are. You do.

You look like, you know who you look like? You dress like Ben Affleck if he's playing a Boston guy in The Departed or whatever. Let me hit the clock here just to be official. Yeah, I'm dressed like I'm a lawyer for the Dairy Association in Oklahoma. Okay, first question. Why don't you leave in New York? I mean, come on. You can always go back, you know.

Don't you want? Or do you like it like this? This is nothing. I always tell people, they go, oh, it's so dangerous now. I go, this is not dangerous. In the 1970s, now it's like

those homeless people could attack you. That's true. One, maybe two. In the 70s, there were gangs. You would get on the train, if a gang get on, there's nothing you could do. A homeless guy, you might actually be able to beat him half the time you can. You might be able to escape him.

New York in the 60s and 70s was a different ballgame. This is child's play. I guess you won't be leaving. By the way, he has a pink belt in Taekwondo, so that's why he talks like this. Yes. way he has a pink belt in taekwondo so that's why he talks like this um yeah no that's a good point because you watch movies from the 70s about new york it always was gangs uh exactly people yeah they're creepy and you know you don't want to get whatever right disease they have but right but you know most of the time you're like i can take this guy Even if I can't take him, in my mind, I'm like, I can take this guy. Yeah, that's true.

It's about numbers, as they say. So this doesn't even faze you. Especially you. You look like a beast. We saw that preview for the movie, and all the comedians are going, Nick DiPaolo looks like a ripped 30-year-old. It's unbelievable. I don't get that, honestly.

I saw the two-second trailer. All I saw was me running away on the volleyball on the grass there, and I saw a handlebar. A love handle, whatever they call it. Fuck it. I always say handlebar. You look like an Ohio University, not an Ohio State, but an Ohio University running back.

No, you know what? You always said this too. You got it perfect. You go, and you said this 15 years ago about guys our age. You said people look at us now and go, I bet you that guy was in good shape a few years ago. Yeah. That's what we're going for.

Nobody told me my tits were going to drop like a woman's. The fuck? We're doing good. Believe me. Well, yeah, I'm doing the old. Have you done the testosterone therapy yet? I haven't yet. I told you I was on...

Yeah. I took... This girl thought I was on steroids. She saw me naked. She goes, you take steroids? I go, no. Why? Because I'm so muscular. She goes, no, because your balls are shrunken and you have pimples on your ass. Do you know that's totally true, folks, about the nut shrinkage? One of my best jokes ever.

It's a, absolutely. I thought that Linda Smith wrote that. That's yours? All right. Remember she did the one about moving the refrigerator? She had a nipple on it. Remember that? One of her three jokes and then she went away. That's so funny because the whole nut shrinkage thing is true.

Yeah, is that what happens from steroids? I don't like it. I always got compliments of my balls. From a couple of girlfriends. The pastor of my church and one other guy. What would they say? They would say,

your balls are nice and soft. And I'm going, what do the other guys have for balls? What do you got, some type of Corinthian leather? No, you get like a marble implant. I don't know, but yeah, so since I'd done testosterone, again, the nuts shrink, and my doctor, of course, goes,

well, you know, that makes the other thing look bigger. And I said, what, you're built? Good point. Yeah, you know, that makes the other thing look bigger. And I said, what, you're Bill? Good point. Yeah, I know. You know what I'm going to get if I ever lose one of my balls? I'm going to get a fishing weight. Of course, Dallas is loving that, a Texas guy. Yeah, what do you call that you put on your line?

What's it called, a sinker? Sinker. Yeah, a sinker. In Boston, we called it a what's it called a sinker yeah sinker in boston we called it a sinker and a sinker um yeah so that was one of the things but i told you uh joe rogan and this was twice five years ago when he used to like me or whatever and i'm on a show and i go yeah i'm thinking about juicing and i said that to 10 people and they all had the same reaction why would you do that at this age you You're going to blow out your kid. Rogan looks at me and he goes, why wouldn't you?

Fucking dead serious. Why wouldn't you? He goes, what's your alternative, getting old and dying? Yeah, I mean, look. Go ahead. I think about it, but if you're going to do that, you have to be a disciplined workout person. You can't be the guy, and I know I'd be the guy,

that took the shots and didn't work out. And that's not a good look. No, it's not. But this isn't, what I'm doing is not that. This isn't anabolic. It's still considered steroid testosterone, but it's not anabolic steroid. You know, when I played up at Maine, guys would be on there, you know, they were worse than women. They were on their cycle.

They were in the middle of a 30-day cycle. Right, right. I'm in the shower after a practice, and they're shooting each other in the ass. The linemen literally sticking syringes in their ass, and I go, you're going to blow your liver out to play UMaine football? Yeah. When I played intramurals at Stony Brook, we'd give each other a half a Quaalude after the game.

That's kind of a celebratory. Speaking of that, I'm supposed to do a Zoom thing tonight. They're celebrating. Talk about age, Colin. Humane's the new coach. They're celebrating the 40th year of our Yankee Conference Championship. 40 years ago, 1982.

And they're doing a big Zoom thing and they sent us all emails and shit. Oh, God. So that makes me feel like 40 years. Give you an idea, folks. I was a white running back. 4'6 flat. Still faster than Marcus Allen's 4.62.

Anyways, what else did I want? Oh, let's, again, on New York. Let's stay with New York City. We're talking to the great Colin Quinn, obviously. You're mayor, and I predicted this. And, again, I'm so cynical. You know how I am. I don't believe people, when you talk about these far-left radical DAs and shit,

I don't even believe they're elected. I think they're appointed. Somebody put places in there. But this Mayor Adams, come on. He was supposed to be Joe Law and Order, somebody put places in there. But this Mayor Adams, come on. He was supposed to be Joe Law and Order, and you see him at the Met Gala wearing a... I mean, he's a jackass, no? Look, he's better than de Blasio already.

Is he, though? Is he? Yeah, he does some things. Believe me. I think he does things that... He does some things believe me what's i i think he does things that uh he does some things the blood he would never even think of doing like as far as law and order i mean you can't really i mean yeah there's been some horrible ones too he's done some horrible things too but at least he does some things i'm like yeah that's some that that's the right direction you know yeah but i mean new york is on it's unrecognizable to be for a long time. So I don't even understand.

You know, I can't even get upset because I'm like, it's crazy. Well, how the hell, how the hell did Giuliani even get his, what are you drinking there? I thought you were clean and sober. No, it's tea. What is it? Tea. Tea. It's the heaviest cup.

This is all I'm getting. This cup hurts my wrist. It looks like a fucking hot tub with a handle on it. I got that exact cough. I soaked my feet in. He loves his tea. I used to. Yeah, I don't.

How did Giuliani ever even break in as mayor? I don't, I don't, how did Giuliani ever even break, break in as mayor? I don't understand. After having Giuliani and the job he'd done, you and I agree that probably one of the best jobs ever done by a politician because he made a difference. Why don't New Yorkers, this is why I don't believe in elections and shit. How do you look back at what he did and go, we don't want that? Explain that to me. Well, because, no, no, but who was running that said they were going to do that?

Nobody. Yeah. Plus, New York is also, like, in the days, Giuliani was probably the last days of a certain type of New York. Like, there's a blue-collar New York. Like, right now, which I keep telling you, the blue-collar New Yorkers, that one law and order keep telling you, the blue collar New Yorkers that want law and order are immigrants or the black community or the, you know, Dominican.

Like they're the ones that want law and order. Yes. Because they're the people that pay the price when this kind of stuff happens. So there's also but there's also a very radical, progressive New York that votes, I guess, or I don't know. But I mean, so I don't think it's or I don't know but I mean so I don't think it's a set up but you know me I'm not a big conspiracy guy anyway but but I do believe it's just

the power of getting out there you know what I mean I mean you know me I believe the Fed is the best thing they ever have in our country but you know doesn't Janet You know me, I believe the Fed is the best thing that ever happened in our country, but you know. Doesn't Janet Yellen look like Newt Gingrich in transition? I got to look at a picture.

Hold on. You're going to die. It's one of my best. Go ahead. Pull it up. It's one of my best observations ever. She looks just like Newt Gingrich if he was transitioning. Oh, my God. Am I right?

Yeah. White hair. We get the same hairstylist. That's what it is, too. Yeah. Same. Okay. Yeah.

So where did I want to go with this? Yeah. Tonight, January. Tonight it starts. This is what makes me so, you know, cynical about everything. The big January 6th hearings. They hired

this guy, Golston, used to be the president of ABC News. He's been retired. So, you know, he's a propagandist to the fucking 10th power. They hired him to put this thing together. They're going to, you know, they're going to have footage, in-depth interviews, reaction, all kinds of crap, trying to paint this thing as a legitimate uprising, which I thought was the saddest.

I was never so depressed when I go back. If those are right-wing people, which it turns out most of them weren't, a few were, but I'm like, really? That's the best they can do? They broke a, I think they knocked over some whiteout and broke a lamp. That's fucking, you know. So that's, literally ABC News and the Democrat Party, Colin,

are working together to put this on tonight. Isn't that, even in today's standards, isn't that a little shameless as far as those two being in cahoots? I mean, they don't know. ABC News and the Democratic Party putting that together. I mean, obviously, most of the

media is left-wing and right. I know, but this is like sanctions. Look, we discussed this in private. You know what I said about that January 6th thing. You want to set yourself up and be stupid and walk into it that's that that's on them it's you could not have handed in a time when people were like oh my god look at all these riots you could not have handed a better gift and that's

that's what that was so they're getting what they deserve for being stupid and walking in and rushing the capital. It's symbolic. You can't rush in there. That's symbolic of the whole country. You know what I mean? That was a great gift. See, I say symbolic, too. It's how this country, what it was founded on. You couldn't have done anything.

No, you can't rush the capital. You can't rush the center. Oh, come on. Where's your spirit? No, listen. Listen. You can't rush the spirit. You can't say, hang Mike Pence.

You can't. It's against. It's symbolically insane. It's symbolically American. It was the dumbest move. And they're getting what they deserve. The more people keep listening to that kind of stupidity instead of what I tell them, then they're going to get what they deserve.

Okay. Terrific. The left points to the right and Trump, Trump support, whatever, calling them Nazis and whatnot, right? Right. Which practically is giving green light to people who disagree with the Republicans to kill them. Absolutely wrong. I agree 100%.

Right? I mean, if I'm a Nazi, why not kill me, Hitler? Absolutely right. So why wouldn't the people who were there that day legitimately believe that that election was stolen? Why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't they what? Believe that that election was stolen. Why wouldn't they? Why wouldn't they what? Believe that that election was stolen. Why? But I'm saying protesting out. But here's the way it is. You want to protest outside, you don't bomb rush the Capitol. Forget about the fact that it's symbolically, it's

destroyed. It's like transgresses the whole idea of democracy but it's the stupidest move in the world it's so dumb but it's also you can't do that every election will be like anarchy and people just rush the capital building and just attack

senators or intimidate them in that way it's the same thing that happened to Brett Kavanaugh yesterday It's the same thing that happened to Brett Kavanaugh yesterday. That's the same thing, only in a bigger version. People bum-rushed it because it's not like every other election. There was...

It doesn't matter. You still can't... If you want to break the system, so look. You want to break the system, then break it. But there's going to be repercussions. That's all I'm saying. Okay, fuck it. Let it be.

You're going to sit there. Let them steal the election. And it was stolen. You can't fucking convince me otherwise. I have fucking 400, just on the internet alone, 500 clips. Well, have you seen Dinesh D'Souza's 2,000 Mules? No. Watch that and tell me it wasn't stolen. Anyways,

I say I would have been down there. I couldn't go. I had karate. I know you would have been down there like Rambo. But you do know a lot of those guys, and don't watch us tonight for this.

Watch Tucker Carlson did a whole, and again, I know you go, well, that's fine. It doesn't matter. There's only fucking one really honest guy to me doing anywhere. But there were so many FBI guys involved, so many co-indicted conspirators who did the same thing, and some didn't get charged. There's one guy waving he's got a trump hat on he goes we gotta get inside the cap frank epps was his name nobody knows where he is it turns out he was a left-wing guy that they so i understand your point they open the doors literally and they went in you couldn't you could not hand them more gifts with that thing

and that's exactly what happened. And to not see that, to not have anyone see that is stupid. What's the alternative? To just let them steal the election and not even put it back? I don't even argue because some people don't believe. Like you said, you believe it's better off no compromise. And I understand that. A lot of people don't believe compromise is an answer. So I get it.

That's how it is. No, hold on. Let me qualify. I don't believe in compromise when one side is living, and you've said this, living on a different planet. It's a different planet. But I feel like both sides are right now living in a different planet. I don't. How can you compare?

I feel like since Trump, you're not going to like it. He crossed the Rubicon because I feel like he's legally insane. See, even him. We've got to get him out of New York. You've got to play more in Ohio and Chicago. Look, I understand. I feel like I'm living in an insane asylum. That's what I feel

like. And I feel like everybody feels that themselves. We all feel like we're the only sane one. But that's how I feel. I feel like it's two cults and that's just how I feel. I can't help it. That's how I feel. I can't help it. We're talking to the great Noam Chomsky.

Well, I'm going to help you. I don't like your glasses. They remind me of Janine Garofalo. Look at that mug. I'm going to wear them up here so I look like I have a better hairline. When you take a sip out of that mug, we can't even see your head. I'm telling you, it's really strengthening this risk with other things but can I just say

I just one more question on this and then we'll move on to other do you really you really think the fucking right is as far off the reservation as the left is yes at the current moment I do how so

well I just feel like people like you know you probably like these people like margie taylor green or these kind of people yeah i feel like they're just randomly like well let's talk about gun control for example here's what i feel like instead of every so every important subject like gun, for example, should be open for going, hey, let's discuss this. You can't just go, no. You can, and both sides do, where they go, no, it's not being discussed. This is how we feel.

And everybody digs in, and that's fine. But in my opinion, when the country blows up, everybody's going to have to be as long as people are fine with war which like you said you know you would say the hell with it but i'm just saying that that's what it goes that's what it leads to and that's where it leads right now in my opinion so i don't really feel like that's i feel like as long as people are comfortable with the results and the consequences then fine everybody should think do what they want. But, you know, I just don't think it's productive, but, you know. That's true. Yeah, that one's, but I don't, I'm not for this,

hey, we have to do something for the sake of doing something, which seems like a lot of that. No, no, I'm just saying that even closing the discussion is crazy to me. I mean, it's that crazy the discussion is crazy to me. I mean, it's that crazy. People want to think that way, but it's not productive. You know what I mean? Oh, those kids weren't that important.

Listen. But that's what I'm saying. I'm saying like, you know, yeah, but I'm just saying like nobody will discuss any of this stuff. You know, it's like you can't just shutting everything down on both sides is what i feel happens i'm what they call a both sides are the worst thing it can be in society uh i think both sides are legally insane talking to colin quay you really but you are i look i known you for a long time a lot of people love to say that you know i'm independent i'm not but you do walk the walk when it comes to that shit. It really makes me sick.

I can't help it. I always see this. I'm like everybody else. I think I should be in charge. That's what I think. It makes me sick, that type of bipartisanship. I see one side, right? You said this to me, and again, I'll move off this.

But you said this a long time ago to me, And it was one of the most profound things you said. Like back in the 50s, you said the right was really kind of behind the squares, behind the times as far as as, you know, social. You know, they were and you were right. They were kind of a dumb party. And I feel it's a thousand percent the other way right now. That's why I don't and to compromise with people who have lost their fucking minds get you what it does is get you half crazy instead of getting the

you meet in the middle but there's still some crazy in there. That's how I see it. Yeah, but I mean I don't I just feel like right now I feel like most people I talk to are just kind of very rigid and i don't feel like there's i feel like there's enough blame on with everybody all of us that that that we should be able to find something people i'm not saying it could never get solved it could lead to war anyway

by the way but i'm just saying i like everybody to go, okay, here's where we've gone mad and where we've gotten to the point where we won't say anything wrong about. So people just walk – it's what I always say, like speaking of the Celtics, it's like once you're on a team, you can't be in the huddle in the next game and be Marcus Smart and go, you know what? Tatum was on the line. They were that call. We should give them the ball because his foot was out of bounds. We had a bad call.

You have to go along with your team. That's just human nature. But I'm saying that's what I feel like happens now. It's teams. And when you're on a team, you think to yourself, they get a lot of shitty calls too. So why would I give them one?

No, I hear you. And that's just where it's at. That's dishumanizing. When somebody first explained to me, when I didn't know anything about politics, and somebody explained to me, I mean, this is, I was a neophyte, that there's two parties who don't believe in the same thing. I go, but they work for the same team?

I go, how is that? Honestly, God, I knew nothing about politics. I go, that's going to end up in a fight eventually. That was my eighth grade take on it. And fucking sure enough, that's where it's headed. And like you say, you know, humans are flawed species anyway. I mean, whatever. Eighth grade, it's funny you say that because eighth grade for me was probably 1972 or 73.

And it was when my schoolwork first started to fall apart. And I think it had a lot to do with the fact that girls started wearing spaghetti straps. And so I'd be ogling them when I'm supposed to be working on my schoolwork.

I'll tell you, Colin knew some girls with some big you-know-whats. What can I say? Again, underrated as far as stand-up goes. Again, it goes over people's heads. But the people who do get them, you're like, you're not going to find a better car. Dave Attell, everybody, Louis, Dave Attell, me,

anybody who came to New York City in the Comedy Cellar holds that guy. You know, Gary Gellman, all of us. You look at him and go, Jesus Christ. I mean, quality. It gets better every year. And that's hard to do. You guys all know you can watch the show for free at Patreon, Rumble, GabTV, Instagram, Facebook. But you can also sign up for free to see the unedited version of the show

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