The Nick DiPaolo Show - Colin Quinn Part 1 | Nick Di Paolo Show #1472

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo interviews Colin Quinn! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Oh yeah! Welcome folks on a beautiful Tuesday, state of Georgia. What a weekend! Dallas got married. What a boy did I drink. Drank like a god darn fish. I a weekend. Dallas got mad. What a boy did I drink. Drank like a god darn fish. I really did. And food is amazing. I didn't know. I really didn't. I didn't know Arby's had Wagyu beef. And then we had all the Slurpees from the

park of gas station. What a swarovski. And Dallas wears a bright red tuxedo with a top hat. Nobody even looks at his wife, who looked unbelievable in her gown. Dallas is breakdancing, moonwalking, just showing off. He took all these lessons. And it was classy jazz music. And they danced unbelievably. And food was outstanding. Because Dallison is how to cook.

He knows good food, and we live in a city that is overrun with good food, just like the Gaza Strip. Anyways, a good time had by all. Congratulations, son. And great show, by the way, for you here. We get, later on, part one of a two-part interview with my friend Colin Quinn, a guy who I use as a litmus test. Oh, by the way, this is what I was trying to show you before I dropped it.

It's a calzone I made, sausage and pepper calzone for the wife. But this one didn't cock block you, right? Oh, God, no. It blocked the other end. Look at that. Look at how perfect that color is on that. Oh, mama. That was about a year ago.

I'm just saying, I wanted to show you I have that kind of skill and why. That was pretty heavy. Nobody told me. I'm still upset about that. Anyways, Colin Quinn, who, like I said, if you come through New York City as a comedian, you go to him for advice. Everybody has, whether it's life advice, comedy advice, the guy is as good as gold and one of the best writers ever. And like other comics, he doesn't stop writing. He does not stop. He puts out one-man show after one-man show, which is very hard to do.

And he's not appreciated enough, in my opinion. Anyway, so we had a two-part interview. We'll show you part one today. Let's get to the top of the show, shall we? Georgia kingpins, kingpings, like sandwich, Georgia kingpins, as in drugs,

kaput. Well, what do you mean by that? A two-year undercover investigation has ended up right here in Georgia with nearly 60 people in jail and a massive amount of drugs off the streets. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.

The investigation called Operation No Loyalty. I'm guessing that's when they turn state's evidence against each other. Seize dozens of guns, nine vehicles, Jesus, this is in Augusta, Georgia, and even two houses. You think this is rampant? What goes on in the cities? Along with hundreds of pounds of marijuana, 35 pounds of cocaine, the Richmond County Sheriff's Office told WRDW-TV that detectives seized a total of, get this, about 15 pounds of fentanyl. And you're like, well, that's not that much. Oh, no? Guess what? They said it was enough to kill roughly 3.5 million people.

Now, that should put a chill up your ass. What the hell's going on out here? This is what I don't understand about this shit. If you wanted to wipe us out, you could wipe us. We've shown clips where cops open a trunk and the shit is exposed and they pass out and almost die. I mean, 3.5 million? They told the TV station that the drugs they confiscated were as lethal

as weapons of mass destruction. Well, yeah, if you're talking 3.5 mil, the arrests stem, and again, that's, when I hear that, this big a bust and the potential deadliness of this,

and you hear the 100,000 kids a year, Americans die. It almost sounds low when you've got this much shit floating around on the street. The arrest stemmed around members of the gang known as Trap Money, which, again, was my nickname in high school. I used to tip the guy at the piece. You know, Trap Money. I used to tip the guy at the piece of your joint, you know, like, trap money over there. Especially two kingpins that sheriff's office identified as Joshua Brady McDaniel.

I don't know, it sounded white to me. 38 of Augusta, and is this his brother? Ellis McDaniel. 42 of Augusta, Georgia. These individuals have not only been responsible for narcotics offenses in our community, but have also been involved in several violent crimes within the CSRA, the Richmond County Sheriff's Office told the local TV station. Also among the nearly 60 arrested were two people from Metro Atlanta. No! Not Metro Atlanta. Look at this.

And this is just a handful of the 60, just all the winners. That's right. We picked the best looking ones out of the 60. We didn't want to offend you. That's Alice the housekeeper in the middle. Look at these. Yeah, you can't, you know, Nick, you can't judge a book by its cover. Well, yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. Guilty, guilty, guilty. Look at a white Hispanic. I know you're going, that's a white guy. Guarantee not. I can tell. Absolutely.

Guy in the middle's got grill work, so he be got money. I should have put up a picture speaking of grill work. A couple weekends ago, me and my wife, I told you, B&D. And black dude out front with a, I forget what it was, Lincoln Continent. It was a convertible. It was one of those old school. It was fucking beautiful. The original interior and shit.

We had to go talk to him. And the guy couldn't have been nicer. I thought he was going to sound pimpish and shit. Because, you know, I'm racist. He couldn't have been. He was a military guy. Army guy. But he's got the bling on. And he's sitting in this frigging car that was like three football fields long with rims on it.

But it was beautiful. Anyhow, I digress. I'm just saying they all drive those. Can you see these guys in a Prius? Shot the bugger. Anyways, oh, we got Lucino Estrada Casa. If you guys don't know what that is, that's Louie House. 56 from Norcross.

So he be busted. That ain't good. I don't know. Oh, and you got, okay, so they're not, they don't discriminate against chicks. And Mary Cisneros Gonzalez. 43 of Lithia Springs. You fucking whore.

Oh, take it easy. Go home, get my dinner ready. No, she's making a dinner. So far, there have been two phases of the operation, uno and dos, with a trace in progress. During phase one, investigators executed 16 search warrants that led to the seizure of the following. Listen to this, folks. I'm going to read the, this is what you're talking, I forgot about this part.

This is not a recipe to make a cake. 16 kilograms of coke, 7 kilograms of fentanyl, 1 pound of methamphetamine, 29 pounds of marijuana, methamphetamine, 29 pounds of marijuana, 34 firearms, and $319,909 in cash, six vehicles, and two houses. It sounds like the price is right. You're telling what the guy won at the end of the show. During phase two, investigators served 25 search warrants and seized the following. Approximately 248.7 pounds of marijuana. Boy, marijuana just sticks around. It's timeless. 44.8 grams of fentanyl, 90.1 grams of methamphetamine, which is big, 22.5 grams of cocaine, 28 firearms

and $143,824 in cash, and three vehicles. What, no house? Deputy said they expect additional arrest charges and state and federal indictments. Yeah, I would hope so. I mean, if that's what you find, like I said, in Augusta, again, with help from the Metro Atlantic. Augusta, again, with help from the Metro Atlantic. I mean, but that's, when they say, you know, that's like mass weapons. Because apparently, I hear this and I'm like, well, how is that possible?

They go like a grain is enough to kill, I don't know, 10 people. Well, then how do you cut that up? And I got to find out because this isn't working out. Anyways, yeah, so that's that story. Guys, in the second half of the show, obviously, I'll be talking to the great Colin Quinn. And it gets really funny. We share old stories about comedy. And it's just the best. By the way, that's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at nickdip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more.

It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon.

What a treat, folks. My guest today, look, if you're a comic, you came through New York, okay, for the last 25 years. This guy's had an influence on you, whether you know it or not. Everybody came to him for advice, whether it was comic advice, life advice. And, you know, I don't call many people brilliant, but this guy is. And underrated, believe it or not. Look, he was on

MTV's Remote Control. SNL. Tough crowd. Maybe the greatest show ever. And in a perfect world, the goddamn theaters would be packed. Instead of going to see Big Fluffy, it would be Colin Quinn. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen,

welcome the great Colin Quinn. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, welcome the great Colin Quinn. Whoa! I gave myself applause. Yes, you did. That's quite an apartment you got there. You must be doing well. Yeah, well, it's a long hallway anyway. It looks fucking huge.

You understand we're talking about New York, folks. We're talking about 1,200 square feet. 1,200 square feet in New York. You guys have no idea what that costs. Let's put it this way. Pablo Escobar said, no, that's a little rich. What? Hey, tell the people right now what you were watching right before you called in to the show well if literally if i turn my eyes to

the left there's ralph furley staring down janet he's mad about something i don't know what it is now but i was watching three's company jack jack tripper might be the funniest comic. I mean, that show in general, even when Chrissy left, it was still so funny. Even when the rope was left. Just, yeah, well, anyway, I was watching it a minute ago and I was laughing at some of the lines. What's his face?

Larry is arguing. She's Jack. He thinks Jack tried to bang his sister, but he didn't. But he goes, you have no respect for women because you didn't have no he goes you have no respect for women because you have a sister you have no respect for women and janet goes larry and puts his army goes back off janet hilarious now then he goes jack i brought back all the things you gave me in a box

all these i borrowed from you i don't want them anymore and jack goes with the 20 i lent you last week goes it didn't fit that's just funny now when you say funny are you saying it in an ironic way or is it really funny no no me you always talk me and nick always i don't think you said there's a joke right some when we tell each other joke jokes right there's some joke jokes that we go, that's funnier than anything I've ever written. Some joke jokes, I don't know where they come from. I've tried to research it. Oh, like street jokes. They're just street jokes. The funniest things in the world, some of them.

I know, and we don't know. Wait, now there's a documentary right there, Dallas. We chased down the origins of some of these jokes yeah but the point is that that's a huh i tried to i tried that documentary years ago good luck i tried to talk to jackie martling about it jackie the joke man yeah his whole his whole career is built on that yeah and i go jackie what we should do the documentary where those jokes come from he goes i don't know i go, I don't know. I go, what? You don't know?

If he doesn't know, nobody knows. Well, he's not the most ambitious guy. Fair enough. No, but Dallas is a good documentary. He's right. It should be done. It would be. Dallas, what do you think?

And Dallas is a filmmaker. I think it'd be outstanding. It would. I'm trying to think of the mic. what do you think? And Dallas is a, you know, he's a filmmaker. I think it'd be outstanding. It would. The first, what's I'm trying to think of the mic. And I can never, when somebody asked me, what's your favorite street joke?

I can never think of, you know, until an hour later, I can never think they don't, they're not on the tip of my tongue ever. What's yours? What's your favorite? There's a couple.

I'll give you a couple of favorites. One is the two guys in prison. They put him in the same cell. One of the guys goes, how long are you in for? He goes, I'm in for 25. He goes, well, I'm in for 30, so you better take the bed near the door since you're getting out first. All right. I don't know of any comic that could write that.

Maybe Greg Rogel. It's a great joke. How about this? My other favorite. The two gay guys are in the apartment. One gay guy goes, I'm bored. You know, he goes, let's play hide and seek. I'll hide.

And if you find me, I'll blow you. And he goes, what if I can't find you? He goes, I'll be behind the couch. You've told me these, and I remember them for five minutes, and they are literally funnier than anything. Give him the one with the

give him the one with the, you know, the gay guy. He had something. He had to go to the hospital. He had something stuffed up somewhere. Oh, okay. The gay to go to the hospital he had something stuffed up somewhere oh okay he's got a and he

he's in terrible pain he goes up the proctologist goes oh my god you've got a dozen roses shoved up your ass he goes read the card read the card and here's one i do remember uh it's really kind of new york centric but uh the waiter that goes up the table uh of uh jewish people and said is anything all right here great joke that i mean how the fuck who came came up with that? How about Manny? A Jewish guy or a Jewish woman.

Let me tell you another great Jewish joke. Manny always had the greatest Jewish jokes, too. And he goes, the guy's dying. And he goes, bring my kids. I want to see my kids before I die. And he goes, where's Alan? Where's Alan? He goes, I'm right here, Papa.

He goes, where's Sarah? Where's my daughter Sarah? She's right here, Papa. He goes, where's David? Where's my son David? He i'm right here papa he goes where's sarah where's my daughter sarah's right here puppy goes where's david where's my son david was right in your world here he goes who's watching the store let me ask you a question do you think that would like right now people i'll say my fans in ohio or younger people would would get all? No, it's from another time. It is. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah. Well, a lot of jokes are funny, but they're from a different time. I mean, I'm not even talking about with political correctness or any of that to go to another level, but I'm saying in general, there was a New York, like if you went to New York, if you want to hear a New York accent, you have to go to the far reaches of Long Island or Florida. I'm not kidding. That's true. That is really true. Holy shit. I just thought of a good one. Oh, go ahead.

What? And my least favorite thing is every time I go to Florida, I say this, I talk about this. People go, where are you from, New York? Me too. I'm like, no kidding. We're all from New York. We're being shocked by the arrival of New Yorkers in Florida. It's so annoying. To be fair to that guy you were talking, you're a little pricky like that because I told Colin, I go, my parents

went to fucking Italy and they were trying to trace down where my grandfather lived and they were trying to trace down where my grandfather lived and they traced it down to this dirt this dirt road with like three houses on it and my father knocked on the door and and my father goes eso and Nicholas at the parlor and the guy goes eso Nicholas at the parlor so I tell Colin that everybody else was like that's pretty shocking Colin goes well yeah fucking it's not like tell him it was impressive you know if it was in China So I tell Colin that. Everybody else was like, that's pretty shocking. Colin goes, well, yeah. It's not like, tell him it was impressive, you know, if it was in China.

I mean, come on. It was a little bit of a long shot. Well, guess what? If you love weird coincidences, you should be watching the show. I was watching Three's Company. Everything's weird. They always run into somebody. love weird coincidences you should be watching the show i was watching three's company everything that we they always run into somebody yeah and then the conversation like jack and janet that was really kind of a deeper message about gossip because jack and janet were both assumed this couple was cheating and then they start saying it and became almost a reality with a fighting over an imaginary they both thought the other one was

cheating so i understand the i i appreciate it but if you watched white lotus they came to sicily and they go uh hey we're from this town and the lady goes ah he starts yelling at them and they left because that was disappointing left he goes that was disappointing he goes i'm a relative of yours she goes get out of here and i think the first rule of good writing is to base the plot around a coincidence right that's the is that like number one not to do and they do it now in movies that's how bad these guys are i know well let me speak in movies let me tell you what uh i mean coincidences let me tell you what happened dylan my cousin dylan that you know very well yes and he actually told me specifically tell to paulo he's gotta talk to paulo about it because he'll love this

he'll appreciate it even though he'll probably abuse me for it dylan has this thing every year he lives upstate new york he has a thing every year and he upstate New York he has a thing every year and he invites all well it's like a reunion relatives and then people from the neighborhood so I always have to do stand up in the backyard by the way if you stand in the backyard

pause can I stop right but this is why Colin this is what separates him from the rest of us or at least from me I know I would never fucking say yesterday it could be my dying brother. I'm going to go, no, that's a fucking, that's going to be horrible.

Colin's been doing this gig since I met him. He's still, that's what the type of guy he is. guitar solo Outro Music