The Nick DiPaolo Show - Colin Quinn Part 2 | Nick Di Paolo Show #1223

Episode Date: June 14, 2022

Ohio school laws. Hunter Biden's family even crazier. Brian Mitchell slams Washington coach. Dems Jan 6th show. Colin Quinn Interview Part 2.

Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching and contributing to the show. Every day I read something about a comedian or a comedy producer that supports censorship. Fuck these people. Patton Oswalt. Comedy is meant to be uncensored. Nothing is off limits and if the truth hurts your feelings, then too bad. Change the station. Don't tell anyone else what they can or can't say.

That's why I created this show, a place to find unfiltered and brutally honest comedy. And since the media, the media running libs, would never put this show out there, we did it ourselves, me and my team, along with your support and contributions. To that end, please consider contributing to the show to keep us going. You can either click the link below,

below this video, or on my website on the top at nickdip.com. You fuel the show, and I appreciate all your generosity. We can't do it without you. Oh yeah, oh yeah Welcome to the show folks On a Tuesday Great show ahead for you. Don't forget, we'll show you later on today in the show, the second part of the Colin Quinn interview.

My very funny, very smart, full of wisdom buddy. Just the best. Everybody who meets him loves him. Great guy. I look like I'm 80 today. Anyways, let's get on with it. What do we got? Send, I don't know if you guys remember, do you? Send lawyers guns and money. Remember that song? Boy, what's his fucking name? The guy. Why does it always slip? Werewolves in London. You know. Oh my God. I met the guy. I was a bar back. He used to come to

the nightclub I worked. I told you that story. I was 21. I was very handsome. He just sold out four shows. It's the end of the night. It's two in the morning. Everybody's having a drink at the bar. I have to tell this. It sticks out in my mind. I'm wearing my, you know, I was a bar back. Warren Zevon.

That was his name. Anyways, end of the night. He's standing here. I'm about four feet to his right at the bar. Smoking chick comes up. I don't know. Stands between us,

looks at Warren Z. Vaughn and goes, I want your autograph. And then she turns to me and goes, I want your phone number. You know what? He probably hated that because I've had it happen to me now as an old comedian. You're very funny, but I want to meet the guy that opened...

You mother... Doesn't married. I mean, doesn't married. Doesn't matter I'm married. Boy, stumbled all over that one. Stupid asshole. All right. Anyways, he had a big song, Send Lawyers Guns and Money. That's what that whole fucking riff was about.

This is called Send Legislation Guns and Money. Responding to a spate of gun violence in American schools and communities, Ohio Republicans have offered a two-pronged approach. Guns and money. Very American.

Very, very American. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me? I gotta come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. That probably sounds like every Republican trying to get money out of Biden for something. Last week, Republican state lawmakers passed legislation that, this is again Ohio, will allow local boards of education to allow teachers to carry a firearm. Up to 24 hours of training must be required. But a board can demand more of its teachers.

Should a board opt in, it would need to disclose to parents, what a juvenile society, that one or more school workers are armed. And what if the parents have a problem with it? What are you going to do? They aren't pilots. Yeah. Do they let us all know before we get a... You know, I'm flying with my sister.

She doesn't like guns. Do you mind if we get a different pilot? Shut up! Additionally, lawmakers appropriated $105 million within a broader spending package targeted toward preventing school shootings. And again, you can't. Sorry, hate to be pessimist, hate to be a realist.

It's unpreventable. Back to you, Nick. Of that $100 million goes for grants of up to $100,000 per K-12 school building for security measures. $5 million goes for security at college campuses. Another 12 million over two years goes toward a bureaucratic body created, just the word bureaucratic tells me it's not going to work, created as a part of the legislation to allow teachers to carry arms.

See what a big deal it is to arm adults and because half you guys are just so fucking milk toast lily panty waist poo poo. I'm not a gun fanatic, folks. I'm not a gun fanatic, but I got four of them, so I can see why there's over 400 million in the country. How about the guys that really love? Both bills are en route to GOP governor. Again, this is Ohio. Mike DeWine, who has indicated he plans to sign them. Well, again, I guess he's doing something. That's my answer.

But I want the guys out front. You know what I mean? I'm the teachers, too, but you've got to have somebody on the exterior of the building. Am I right? You know. Set up a perimeter. Democrats who hold little power in the state, House, or Senate argue neither idea takes meaningful, of course not, steps towards limiting access of military-grade weapons to would-be

shooters. Again, what do they mean by that? They want to go after, again, it's about the Second Amendment and disarming us. That's exactly what that statement, it's not about protecting the kids. Anyways, fucking Democrats, you're getting in the way of, you're a barnacle on the ass of progress. Shut up! As my father used to say. would be shooting,

and some of the most recent shootings, the perpetrators have purchased weapons lawfully in the immediate buildup to the slaughters. Exactly. The answer isn't more laws. Do you understand? It's like, I don't care. You could have, on paper, you can protect everything, but that's why we have outlaw.

It's just so easy it's almost too simple i think i don't know let's move on to another adult actually a relative of adult of adult hunter biden's daughter do i get that right uh brokering a deal why did i think it was a sister daughter it's even fucking weirder than I thought. Hunter Biden's daughter. Oh, for the love of God. I had this fucking paused. I didn't know.

Whatever. Hunter Biden's daughter sarcastically offered to GPO Senator Ron Johnson that she will get her dad, that would be Hunter, to go on the phone with him if Johnson agrees to support tighter gun control law. Another Biden with no brains. How long does this fucking thing? At Ron Johnson, Wisconsin, if you vote for strict, this is a tweet she sent to him, if you vote for stricter gun control measures, I will personally lick your perineum. What? I will personally come into your office and call my dad on speakerphone. I wouldn't trust it. He'd probably be there to kill you. So that you can confess your undying love for him directly.

Naomi Biden tweeted Wednesday at the Republican lawmaker, who has been one of her dad's fiercest critics. Yeah, so you're going to get Hunter on the phone, your dad on the phone and talk to him. Is this moron number one? Yeah. Put moron number two on the phone. The 28-year-old girl, Naomi, tongue-in-cheek.

It was a tongue-in-cheek thing, so we'll give her a little credit. Proposal was in response to the Wisconsin senator's take on legislation that would require a waiting period for gun sales to buyers under age 21. Before we pass anything new, let's enforce the laws we already have. Let's start with Hunter Biden, Senator Johnson wrote, because as you remember, Hunter Biden lied on his thing to get his gun as application. Johnson was alluding to the allegation that President Biden's son may have committed a felony by not telling the truth on a background check before buying a gun in 2018. According to documents obtained, and Dallas made a great point, I think it was you yesterday, who's going to say, yeah, I am on drugs or, yeah. It's like when, and I made the thing again, when you're on the plane, you fly to another country

and they hand out the, are you bringing any ammunition with you? Poison fruits? Your mistress? According to documents obtained by Political Hunter, answered no. In response to the question, do you like paying for pussy? No. In response to the question, do you like paying for pussy? No. Are you an unlawful user of or addicted to marijuana

or any depressant, stimulant, narcotic drug, or any other control? What, did they know he was coming? Or control substance? Oh, my God. Of course he checked off no as anybody would. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit this is

probably his screensaver on his phone uh hunter's year-long battle with drug addiction has been well documented in the press and the 52 year old dad of five also detailed his struggles in his memoir beautiful things what uh which was published last year. The gun that Hunter bought in October 2018 was a.38 revolver, was later thrown in the trash by the president's daughter-in-law, Holly Biden, Hunter's brother, Beau Biden's widow. Again, this guy is a little bit... Look, I wouldn't mind hanging with him for a weekend, as opposed to Mitch McConnell. Johnson has accused Hunter of taking advantage of his access to his powerful dad to enrich himself. You snotty little bastard. The U.S. Department of Justice is investigating Hunter over his business dealings in...

Oh, yeah, they're all over him. Ukraine and China, and also over his taxes. Meanwhile, a bipartisan group of senators led by Cornyn, that's John Cornyn of Tech, who might as well be a Democrat. There's another rhino for you, is working on a compromise bill that would bolster gun safety. Can you imagine? From Texas, right? What the hell happened? Expectations are low that even the most modest gun control measures could find support among Republicans in Congress. Don't be too surprised, particularly in the 50-50 Senate,

where at least 60 votes are needed to advance legislation past a filibuster. I'm not so sure about that. Get a lot of rhinos in there. You know, we need a political douching on both. You know, I wouldn't leave any of them. None of them. That's how it's supposed to work, folks. Think about how far we are from that.

Isn't that fucking silly? Well, here's another big mouth fucking. Brian Mitchell was always a punk-ass punk. Tough guy, NFL football player. What's the headline? Shut the fuck up, Brian Mitchell. I didn't say that. Hope you ain't a fan of mine.

You know who called the show once when I was taking, when I had my radio show in New York? Ironhead Hayward. Remember him? Running back? He's dead now. I think his son played. But anyways, Brian Mitchell,

the ripple effects from Jack Del Rio's comments. Jack Del Rio, I remember, this is how old I am, he's a great linebacker at USC, played in the NFL. Then he was a head coach at Carolina or whatever. Many of these expansion. Good football guy is my point. Now he's the defensive coordinator for the Washington.

Commander. Commander. Can you imagine? A little note to you guys, the fans of mine that might be living in D.C. Don't. And same with the Cleveland Indians. Make your own T-shirts that still say Indians and still say Redskins. Use the words in conversation.

Pretend they didn't even change it. What are they going to do, arrest you? Show up at the ballpark. I hope this spreads. This might be an idea that's going to catch on. Pretend it never happened. Show up with your Redskins memorabilia. Anyway, Jack Del Rio, who's white, by the way,

comments about the January 6th Capitol riots are starting to show themselves across the NFL's landscape. Here's what he said. Oh, it's so outrageous. I love how when white guys just speak the truth, it's considered outrageous or they're outspoken or whatever. This is all he said. He was responding to a question about January 6th.

Go ahead, roll that tape. Because it's kind of hard for me to say I can realistically look at it. I see the images on TV. People's livelihoods are being destroyed. Businesses are being burned down. No problem. And then we have a dust-up at the Capitol where there's nothing burned down, and we're not going to talk about, we're going to make that a major deal.

I just think it's got two standards. You are correct, sir. How outrageous. How outrageous. But Brian Mitchell falls into the category of black people who are so used to bullying white people because white people never say the truth to guys

faces like Brian Mitchell he's so used to the linguistic bullying and what not and so used to bullying whites you know to not say this not say that or you'll get beat up this is what he's

doing with Del Rio. After the Washington Redskins defensive coordinator, I got to practice what I preach, dismissed the attacks, a dust-up, which it was, I wouldn't even call it a dust-up, comparing it to the protests in Minneapolis after George Floyd was killed by police officers. Former NFL running back Brian Mitchell, tough guy, no doubt, who played 10 seasons with Washington, laid into the longtime coach during a radio appearance. Because like I said, he's a black guy, used to having white guys. He didn't even say anything derogatory about race or

anything this is what uh Mitchell says and I quote listen I see a lot of the of stuff going on with this team right now and this is where I'm about to go the hell off and I get so sick of it Mitchell said on 106.7 of the fan we have a coach let's talk about Ron Rivera by the way we have a coach who we sit up here and we try to put on a pedestal as he's this disciplinarian and he got a damn defensive coordinator meaning Del Rio who constantly pokes the goddamn bear okay Mitchell said I care about Rivera getting his damn defensive coordinator in control before somebody beats his ass up once again black man here's something that he can't handle so threatens violence guy with a radio show

by the way should have done a reverse the races here. Imagine a white former player. I'm sick of these black dudes smacking around their girlfriends, selling drugs and getting the NFL a bad day. Anybody speaks out against that, we're going to kick the shit out of them. Yuck. That's what I care about, says Mitchell. I care about somebody stopping this man from constantly poking his little racial bear. Doesn't make any sense, this ignorant, with what he's doing. That's what I care about.

He's a stoke. He's a stoke. He's a stoke. By Jack Del Rio disagreeing with the lying narrative. And by speaking what the exact facts are, no investigation into the billions of dollars of damages after the George Ford's ride, people killed,

people killed, shot, blah, blah, blah, no investigation by anybody. Fuck, a couple hundred people.

Okay. A thousand show up at the Capitol, take what I call an unguided tour. No weapons. And Jack says, it's just, it's a little unfair now, and this guy says, you're poking the racial bear. He says, and when you have Jack Del Rio,

who constantly feels, I can just go out and say whatever the hell I want to say. Yeah, any American can, including you, stupid. Why, he says, because the coach never says anything to him. So now he's blaming Rivera for not having a leash on Del Rio. You've got all these issues going on with the Washington Redskins right now, and he's constantly trying to make waves because of stupidity he's calling Del Rio stupid yeah he's so stupid he's actually had head coaching jobs while you're

doing your fucking little radio show nobody's listening to and then he says and you wonder why that team wasn't disciplined last year? Because your damn leader that's leading your defense is not disciplined. This is a guy who beat cancer, by the way, Ron Rivera, the head coach. He is the coach of the Redskins, right? I hope I can rock it. He says, I give a damn about that. Now, here's what Jack Del Rio lets me down and all Americans who think like him. But I'm sure the, you know,

I'm sure the corporate came down on him, the upper brass of the Redskins. Del Rio later apologized, saying, I made comments earlier today in referencing the attack that took place on the United States Capitol on January 6th, referencing that situation as a dust-up was irresponsible and negligent,

and I am sorry. Wink, wink. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! He did, however, say he stood by his comments, condemning violence in communities across the country. You know what communities talk about. That's right, the Amish. Do you see how they're so used to not hearing the truth though? We used to

do that with like comics at the Comedy Cellar. Come sit at the table and you know I'd say just like whatever just talking like I talk to you. Fucking eyes would light up and the white-lib comics would be like. Colin would just fucking smirk at me and go, yeah. He knew what time it was. And Patrice would laugh. And Patrice would join in. And that's how it should be. And then everybody would laugh at me and Patrice brutalizing each other. And you know what? You could feel the tension go, whoo. That's how you do it. It's called the dialogue that you guys want to have. But we can't have a dialogue about race if you can't handle things like Jack Del Rio said that are so mild compared to what comes from the other side.

Okay. Let's move on to this. Have you guys been following any of the show trial that the Dems are putting on about January 6th? I'll cover just the beginning of it because like Fox News who's not covering the trials live only network God bless them they finally have a backbone I don't know where it was on election night

when they called Arizona for fucking early or whatever but I love it they refuse to put this propaganda on the air and that's all it is. Dem show trial. Wyoming Republican, I'm going to show you clips of the opening.

I know it was a few days ago, but I couldn't stomach it. I was telling Dallas, literally, I was getting, like, goosebumps. It was weird. Like, watching, I can't, I felt like I was watching a movie written. You know how when you go to a movie, you can, oh, the liberals wrote this, everything, the white guy's bad, Republicans are hanging people. I felt like I was watching that,

but it wasn't a movie. This is actually happening in our government. They are so desperate, the Democrats. Biden has fucked everything up and the people on him so bad that they have to put this on to distract you away from record inflation and every fucking

thing else he's fucked up, from leaving Kabul to everything. They have to distract. They got nothing. Midterms are five months away. So they're hoping you dummies, and there are plenty of them because CNN is still on the air and MSNBC. Anyways, this is a couple of the opening remarks. Wyoming Republican, oh, God, Liz Cheney. She's a malignant cunt. Is she ever. Alleged Thursday that then-President Donald Trump said during last year's Capitol riot

that Vice President Mike Pence, get this, folks, deserves to be hanged as Trump supporters chanted, hang Mike Pence. This is her saying what was going down. Go ahead. You will hear that President Trump was yelling and, quote, really angry at advisors who told him he needed to be doing something more. And aware of the rioters' chance to hang Mike Pence, the president responded with this sentiment, quote, maybe our supporters have the right idea. Mike Pence, quote, deserves it. You never looked heavier. I hope that's a true story. I love that story.

What I heard today on the way to work, Bill O'Reilly apparently had sources that day at the Capitol. So he says, Glenn Beck, he really is funny, that Trump froze for like an hour and 40 minutes, not knowing what to tell the supporters. First of all, he told them, remember at the beginning, go in peace or whatever, go home, remember? Never told him the fucking riot or whatever, but he froze when things were getting, he was getting texts from Hannity and a few other close people saying, you got to do something, which kind of disappoints me. I would have been texting going, hey, this ain't a sir. I don't see a gun out there. Fire these people up. Guys, folks, they didn't have any guns. The so-called rioters had no guns. And I'm watching CBS yesterday. A news guy at CBS repeats that five cops died during the riot, during January 6th, which is an out-and-out fucking lie.

Nobody was killed with a fire extinguisher. That guy had a stroke a couple hours later. None of these fucking places retracted it, apologized. They can fucking, they run all over the law without getting arrested. They can say whatever they want in public without getting arrested. It is fucking,

and you wonder why half the country's brainwashed. Ugh. What this, her father was Dick Cheney. He's kind of a right-winger now. What happened? Yeah, he,

she fucking hates Trump, so Trump must have pissed off her father or something of her cheney the vice chair of the house select committee told you we shouldn't give him the vote uh investigating january 6 2021 riot laid out the claim during her opening statement at the committee's first prime time hearing which was highlighted by a 10-minute video tracing the course of the violence as it unfolded. Soundtracked by increasingly frantic radio communications from Washington, D.C. and the U.S. Capitol Police. Cheney also claimed that over multiple months, Donald Trump oversaw and coordinated a sophisticated seven-part plan to overturn the 2020 presidential election. Here's a guy they claim was so stupid he wasn't fit to be president, but he put together a seven-point plan to, in a coup, you know,

election and prevent the transfer of presidential power in our hearings. You will see evidence of each element of this plan. Do you realize, Ms. Liz Cheney and the rest of you jerk-offs on that panel, Adam Kinzinger, do you realize that there's a movie out called 2,000 Mules that proves Donald Trump was robbed? He was absolutely right. And you're lucky. You're lucky the Capitol's still standing, in my opinion. On the morning of January 6th, President Donald Trump's intention was to remain the president of the United States despite the lawful outcome, wrong, wrong, of the 2020 election. We know it was stolen and in violation of his constitutional obligation to relinquish power, Cheney went on. I'll say it again, 2,000 mules, folks. Watch it, 2,000 mules. The congresswoman's opening statement was more detailed than the one read by

this guy who's illiterate, by the way, Chairman Rep. Benny Thompson, Democrat, Mississippi, who spoke in broken English broadly about the events of January 6, 2021, and his perspective on them. I wonder if he's going to mention anything about slavery. Let's go. From a part of the country where people justify the actions of slavery, the Ku Klux Klan, and lynching, I'm reminded of that dark history as I hear voices today try and justify the actions of the insurrectionists on January 6th, 2021.

Comparing it to, oh boy, oh boy. When you see a guy like, you realize how much the Democrat party, how evil they are, that they play a guy like this, you know? Can't you see Pelosi going, oh, we got Benny Tomlin? Cheney further alleged that a December 19, 2020 tweet by Trump that read, big protest in D.C. on January 6. Be there. We'll be wild. Set in motion the riot. Prove it.

On that day, Trump addressed thousands of supporters near the White House before urging them to march on the Capitol to pressure Pence. That's not what he said. He said, be peaceful if you're going up there, whatever. To pressure Pence and Republican lawmakers to reject swing state electors for Joe Biden, which they should have done now that we look at it. Cheney promised that during public committee hearings, you will hear about members of the Trump cabinet discussing the possibility of invoking the 25th Amendment and replacing the president of the United States and accused the 45th president of doing nothing to help relieve besieged members of Congress on that day.

Half of them who claim they were there and weren't, like Kamala Harris, fucking AOC. Dude. Dude, dude. Anyways, that's it for the hard news. As you know, yesterday we ran part one of my interview with the great Colin Quinn, and we'll close out today's show by showing you part two. Here's me and the great Colin Quinn. Take it away. Let's just, you were in Salt Lake City recently doing comedy at a place called Wise Guys,

which I did about a year and a half ago. And I wanted to ask you how that went and if you used my magic underwear line to break the ice on those people. Well, I'm telling you, Salt Lake City has the best German deli called Vosen's. It's a bakery deli. It's the best place I've ever been in my life.

I went there. I didn't like the food, but I didn't care for the decor. They had a stack of baby shoes and some false teeth on the counter. I thought that was in bad taste. But anyways, go ahead. It's the best. And I'm sure they'll appreciate that promo. I get a lot of, look, I think, you know who, I think Mitt Romney's cousins watch you, Shire.

But yeah, it's great you know it is when you do comedy anywhere yeah it's interesting to see if stuff works in all places because it does speak to what we're talking about and so you feel like reassured when you want to talk about these heavy subjects about you know human nature and what is the nature of government or what is the nature of compromise or what is the nature of leadership, you go to a place like that, but you have to make them laugh. Nobody wants to hear philosophical ramblings without laughs if you're a comedian. So when I make them laugh, I feel great.

What are you talking about? Apparently you haven't heard of this woman, Janine Garofalo. This is fun. She wows at me. That's exactly what you're talking about. Colin, listen, let me just, for you folks, I know you all know Quinn because you're my fans and whatever. But all of us, me included, look up to this guy. Year after year, he puts out an hour. And this is what I was talking about. He's sort of a sociologist slash psychologist. It's not what the rest of us are doing.

He's analyzing. He'll do some political stuff, but he digs deeper than that. He goes into the psychology of the people behind it back in 17-whatever-the-hell. And it has to be... It has to be... Luckily, you're at a stage where you don't have some

local guy go up before you. But comedy, like he just said, they don't want to hear you waxing philosophical when they have four drinks in them. But somehow, he does it so well. Well, the people that come out now come out because they know they're going to get smart comedy. I'm not trying to kid you. Half of them do. Huh? Half of them do.

And the other half. There's one other half you've got to worry about. Yeah, Tim Gage your ass. Half of them do. Huh? Half of them do. And the other half. There's one other half you gotta worry about. Yeah, Tim Gage's fans. That's his opener. They take a train all over the country to see Tim. Yeah, so that's what the rest of us look

at Colin and go, and he goes, and seriously, he puts out a new album and he goes, he's getting better. That takes a lot of work. Are you still going to the cellar and working this shit out? Yeah, I go to the cellar all the time because as we both know,

if you're not doing it, you're probably the only guy I mention this all the time. The only person that I've seen that can actually write on stage on their feet and come out with great jokes is Nick Tappala because nobody else could do that you know what I mean well trust me I've been trying to do that since I got to Savannah with mixed results you actually can't

although other people try they can't with so I mean um you know that's a sign of genius no it's a sign of it's a sign of a guy that can't get disciplined and sit down and actually fucking. I'm so, I can't enjoy anything. I'm teaching myself. I've never had a hobby. I'm teaching myself guitar, electric guitar, and I absolutely love it. But maybe this is my Catholic upbringing. While I'm doing it, I'm going, I could have a new two hours or whatever.

As I'm playing, I'm not even enjoying the guitar that I fucking love. I know we're plagued by it. You don't. You sit down and do it. You got to get a hobby like it. Because I keep my hobby. I incorporate the exercise for cardio. I taught myself Irish step dancing in the past year.

And the neighbors complained. But once they saw my outfit, they're like, nope, we're in too. We have to see this. He can't do it. He's in a wheelchair right now. You don't know that. He's like Governor Abbott from Texas. I didn't know that motherfucker was in a wheelchair.

Did you? I didn't know until one of the cartel was dragging him behind a Jeep down on the border. I'm dragging him behind a Jeep down on the border. Anyways, so what is this? What's the thread of your latest hour? It's sort of what you were alluding to. Well, it's about how, well, it's about a few things, but one of them is how societies form.

You know, like, because I was in Salt Lake City, so I started thinking thinking about brigham young so i've actually changed my whole hour since last week the theme which is society's form so you got brigham young right so you got brigham young his whole thing was what he's going to take these people and bring this norman thing they killed their head guy joseph smith yes joseph's gonna bring to utah yeah so he's got to figure out how to break everybody down on the track. So the quiet people, the guys that are just walking by themselves are going to be the farmers. And then when they show up, and then the guys that will play and grab ass and pushing each other are going to be the construction people, build all the barns and the houses.

You know, the guys that are kind of loud and raucous. And then the people that are just like going along but worried it'll be like the bureaucracy. They're like, ah. When he asks them, how's it going? They're like, it's going. And then I do the engineers and then I do the whole thing about

how you break the wife thing. I guarantee he didn't tell his wife or anybody else about the 50 wives until they got close until they were like too late to turn back. And then his wife's like, I knew it. I knew you were up to something. And then he probably said,

how would you know it? When I just had the vision last night, even I didn't know this was part of it. So it's like, I go through a whole thing with that. That's what his stand up involved that type of I'm sitting home last night going to my wife what's funnier the word come

or goo gobbler not that I'm all dirty but no you're underselling yourself you actually shouldn't be saying that because you are known as one of the most respected comics ever. Everybody knows you're brilliant.

And I don't want people to go see you and think like, hey, I'm going to make Faz guy. I'm part of his act. Listen to the master when he speaks. Yeah, I have. I got much better at that. I'm almost a little embarrassed the last few years the way I went down at the cellar because I would. They wouldn't laugh and I'd go, you fucking liberal faggots. I remember coming off the stage, Goldman goes, is that how it works? They don't laugh when they're

liberal faggots? And I went, yeah, that is. No, I didn't object to that. I objected to that you would open, that was your opener. It was. He would go on stage and go, I don't know why I came. I drove all the way down here for you, liberal, NYU, lesbian, flat-ass fucking asshole. I would. I would say. I swear to God.

That was his opener. I know. I would say I was in a good mood when I left my house in Westchester. I go, as soon as I get to the village, I see a 40-year-old guy on a skateboard with a fucking Hello Kitty book bag and I want to fucking kill somebody.

And that was my opening. And they were all like, why, what's the matter with that old man? I'll tell you. One time, we were driving back, me and Nick driving back. So we're driving back to, he's dropped me off.

I lived in Midtown. He lives in Westchester. And we're driving back to uh he's dropped me off i lived in midtown he lives in west chester and we're driving back and yeah so we get to uh by radio city and the cops pull him over he's got it's a he ran a red light yeah and i what you don't remember is early in that trip you were like i gotta be careful red light i go they never give tickets you forgot i said that maybe you remember. And then, so I was hoping you remember. So just as he pulls up a radio city show, let's out.

And this is like 1999, thousands of people pulling out of this concert and they were all in front of his car, but it's a fish concert. Right. And Nick was sitting there waiting for the ticket. The guy's right in the back. Nick's fuming,

but he can't do anything. And his kids going, Hey man. And he goes, there waiting for the ticket. The guy's right in the back. Nick's fuming, but he can't do anything. And his kid's going, hey, man. And he goes, what is this? I go, it's fish. I'll kill him. I'll kill him. It was always like hippie. It was so funny.

You're forgetting the best part, though. What? Quinn goes to me, you don't remember this? This is where I thought you were going with this. Yeah. While we're sitting there, waving the cop calls, like, don't worry about it, I know a lot of the cops. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guy sticks his head, there you go, you dumb guinea. Fucking walks away. I look at Colin, what the fuck was that? Yeah, the guy looked in, he didn't even know who the hell I was. I might as well have been with Gage. It was unbelievable. Hey, look, Colin. Hey, Hoop.

Hey, Hoop. Oh, boy. Celebrating my third Wednesday.. Hey, hoop. Hey, hoop. Oh, boy. Celebrating my third Wednesday. My big chatty fella. You really gone native, huh? God, look at that. Nobody down here even honest to God, nobody's even blinked. I go to the same bar all the time.

They're like, hey, where'd you get those other 31, you cheater? I'm sitting there like this waiting for somebody to notice. Nobody says shit. Well, I only got a couple more minutes. We're breaking this up so I can put it on a few other shows. Last guest we had was, who was it that we had? Earl Weaver's daughter.

She was 76. That would be interesting. Before we go, I want her to hit on what else? Earl Weaver's daughter. She was 76. That would be interesting. Before we go, I wanted to hit on what else. Why are you such a big Billy Crystal fan? I don't get his comedy. Colin had a birthday yesterday, by the way, right? Yeah, two days ago.

You're three years older than me, right? I'm 63. That's correct. All right. Yeah, two days ago. You're three years older than me, right? I'm 63. Yeah, that's correct. All right, that ain't that bad. Yeah, so why do you hate... So I sent him pictures of... There's three movies that send him through the fucking roof. Like, literally, I can feel him getting upset from Manhattan.

And if I see one, I'll take a pic. Mrs. Doubtfire makes him mentally ill. When Harry Met Sally might be number one enemy on the list, right? Yeah. Steve Martin's Cheaper by the Dozen.

Cheaper by the Dozen. We've got to have you do a critique. Cheaper by the Dozen 2 was better. It was like The Godfather 2. It's a little bit... No, it was... But meanwhile, Nick doesn't even realize these movies. If he watched them...

If he had to watch them more than once, he watched them in a daze maybe, but if he had to watch them, he would go back. One of my dreams in life is to have him strapped down to one of those Barca lounges and make him watch like probably My Life in Ruins which is a Neapolitan Dallas movie.

Oh God. There's like six of them that are just they're just they just go for the corny thing right away. I would say Harry Met Sally bothers me because everybody loves it. People to

this day go, that's one of the greatest movies ever. And that's what drives me crazy is it's just... Everybody likes it. And it drives me nuts. Me and Andy were on vacation in St. Martin. You know how we're staying in a rented house and you find like, this is back

in the 90s, VHS tapes. And you're kind of happy. There's nothing to do on the island. You know, it was staying in a rented house and you find like this is back in the 90s VHS tapes and you're kind of happy there's nothing to do on the island you know it's like fucking midnight we pop in my big fat Greek wedding it ruined the last four days of my vacation it was so bad I was tossing and turning on the beach going that couldn't Tom Hanks

couldn't have anything to do with it fucking worse that's it couldn't have had anything to do with it. Fucking worse. That's it. Before I go, Norm, Norm McDonald. I know it, but I physically miss him. Like, I miss him like I miss Trump's, you know what, when he does his rallies.

It was like a comedy special every couple months. But Norm, huh? I mean, you fucking, you spent a lot of time with Norm. Yeah, I did a thing, a speech, like a little eulogy at this big memorial for him. And one of the things I told was, you know Norm, every time, and like one time we went into an elevator and we did some casino gigs together, you know. And then we went to the elevator like three years ago.

It was 10 in the morning and there was all these soccer moms and us in the elevator. And he goes, hey, ladies, you here? Do a little gambling. They go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes, I can mention. He goes, yeah. They were like laughing, you know. Out in the back of the elevator, he goes, yeah, that's where you're supposed to come here for. I like to gamble. They're like, yeah. They didn't know him or the elevator. He goes, yeah, that's where you're supposed to come here for. I like to gamble. Yeah, yeah.

They didn't know him or anything. And he goes, yeah, some guys like, that guy's here for the prostitutes. It just pains to me. You know, turn around like this. Oh, and I just stand there. What can you say? Just setting you up beautifully.

Oh, I miss him. I fucking, I'm so sad. Yeah. And then Colin sends me, right after you pass away, Colin sends me this, pulls it off at Twitter. Some guy goes, tough month for comedians. We lost two legends. Norm Macdonald, Bob Saget.

That says it all Quinny thank you so much always there when I need you of course I'm coming up to New York the grand premiere of Louie's movie when? at the end of the month

so I hope you still have that Murphy bed in your kitchen yeah definitely I should be around you probably won't be You still have that Murphy bed in your kitchen. Yeah. Definitely. I should be around. You probably won't be. You'll be working on your one-man show.

But, yeah, I'll hit you up. And, yeah, that's it. All right. Thank you so much, Colin, as usual. Love you, man. Talk to you soon. We'll talk to you. See you later. All right, buddy.

Thank you. The great Colin Quinn, man. We'll talk to you. See you later. All right, buddy. Thank you. The great Colin Quinn, everybody. That is it, ladies and gentlemen, for Tuesday. I want to thank my great guest, of course, the great Colin Quinn, and thank you guys. Don't forget to sign up at comicsgym.com,

patreon.com, and cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative. Go to cameo.com and click on the profile it'll explain to you how it's done i'll make a little recording it's fun people like it that is it you guys think and i'll say it you're very welcome see you back here tomorrow at the same time have a nice day guitar solo Outro Music